Dear Swistle,
I am due with baby #2 in September. My first daughter is Ariela Elena. The name ticked off all the boxes for us. It has a great meaning (lion of God), it has a great nickname (she goes by Ari), and it is easy to pronounce in Spanish and English (we live in predominantly Spanish speaking community). Her middle name is a Latinized version of an honor name on my husband’s side of the family.
All kids will have two last names following the tradition of the Latin community (think Harrison Smith in our case).
We’re not planning to find out the sex of this baby. If it’s a boy it’ll most likely be Elliot nn Elio, middle name Theodore or Timothy (both honor names). It’s another Hebrew-origin name that sounds modern (I’m a sucker for British-sounding boy names), and it is familiar in our Spanish-speaking community. I’m also finding that I like the soft vowels and “l’s” in both names.
What I’m really writing you about is a girl’s name. We have a name that we love that was a front-runner for our first daughter, and we’ve wanted to use it for years. However, I’m having doubts about its usability for a girl.
The name is Adlai. I came across it a few years ago. Similarly, it’s a Hebrew name with a cool meaning (Justice of God). I loved it immediately. I work in social justice so it has a little extra special element for me. My question is: Can I use the name Adlai for a girl?
Though it’s seldom used at all now (which gives me hope), it is a traditional boy’s name connected with some historical political figures. When we came across it, though, we thought it just sounded more like a girl’s name. I’m not surprised that it did with the trend of Adelaide, Adeline, Adalyn, etc.
I’m not bothered by using a traditional boy’s name, I just want to avoid a lot of confusion and explanation if it really is set in people’s minds as a guy’s name.
Another part of that problem may be the similarity to other popular girl’s names. I have a K name that’s similar to so many K names from the 80’s and 90’s, so the idea of correcting people really doesn’t bother me. I’ve also gotten used to reminding people that my first daughter is Ariela not Ariana (something I did not expect to deal with). But I would like some feedback from the community. Is Adlai going to be impossible to remember with all of the other Ad- names or with so many variations out there already, will people be more likely to take in stride?
A third factor, which isn’t a big issue for me, is pronunciation. I believe the famous Adlai Stevensons pronounced the name Ad-lay. I have read that it can also be pronounced Ad-lie. Spanish-speakers in our community will be more likely to pronounce it Ad-lie, but I’m not sure with English speakers. What is your first inclination?
I know there’s the option to use Adlai for a boy, but it’s been in my head as a girl’s name for years, now I have a hard time picturing it on a boy (and I do love Elliot).
Potential middle names would be honor names Dorothy/Dorothea, Lia, or Patricia.Thank you all for your input.
K
I don’t know anyone named Adlai, and so I am going to start with a little research. First let’s check the Social Security Administration to find out current U.S. usage. In 2018, the name Adlai was used for 5 new baby girls and 18 new baby boys, so the current U.S. usage is very rare, and unisex but used more often for boys.
I am not sure if the Ad-lie pronunciation you mention is “lie” with a long-I (like telling a lie, or like lye soap), or “-lie” with a long-E (like the ending of Charlie/Natalie/Ellie/etc.). If we think the name might legitimately be pronounced Ad-lee or Ad-lye, then we have some more possibly related usage to add:
Adalae, 19 F
Adalai, 9 F
Adalay, 12 F
Adalee, 314 F
Adalei, 11 F
Adaleigh, 112 F
Adaley, 34 F
Adali, 31 F
Adalie, 150 F
Adaly, 54 F
Adelae, 9 F
Adelai, 11 F
Adeleigh, 9 F
Adeli, 6 F
Adelie, 31 F
Adely, 8 F
Adlee, 87 F
Adleigh, 96 F
Adley, 480 F / 19 M
Adlie, 8 F
Some of those look like they’re trying to get the LAY sound, some look like LEE, some look like LYE, and some look like Ada plus an ending (as opposed to the Add- sound we’re looking at).
My guess (and this is based on not knowing any people named Adlee/Adleigh/etc. either, so take that for what it is worth) is that many of the Adley names are related to Hadley and to the whole Addison/Adelyn/Addy group, rather than to Adlai; and that many of the Adeleigh/Adelie names are related to Natalie, and also belong to the Addy group.
My next step was to make sure I knew how Adlai Stevenson was pronounced, because that is the only association I have with the name. (Here’s a couple recordings and a couple more recordings if you want to go listen.) It is ADD-lay, though I heard some recordings that seemed to put a little half-beat in there so it was sort of ADD-uh-lay, but with only a quarter or half of the -uh-. I find I keep slipping and saying it add-LYE, I think because of Mordecai and Adonai.
Here is a screenshot of a pdf I found on the topic (which indicates that add-LYE was a common alternate/mis- pronunciation):
It looks to me as if there’s no particular reason you couldn’t use Adlai for a girl; the boys don’t seem to be using it right now anyway. But this is a good area for commenters to weigh in: others might have more/different associations with the name that make it more of an issue. It seems like a challenging spelling/pronunciation to me, but as long as you’re willing to accept that as part of the package deal of this particular name, I don’t think that has to be a dealbreaker: a spelling that is difficult because it is old/traditional is not in the same category as a spelling that is difficult because the parents made it that way on purpose to be different.
I do think for most people, the only association will be the various Adlai Stevensons, but that many people won’t even have that association (it was only today I learned that there was more than one political figure named Adlai Stevenson). I think for many/most people, the name Adlai will sound and look like another entry in the Adelay/Adalyn/Adaleigh category, and that’s something that would bother me a little if I were considering using the name, but it’s a huge benefit for familiarity/acceptance of the name. The spelling will reinforce the Adlai Stevenson connection for those who know it, and may look invented/creative to those who don’t.
I think my main reaction to the name is “Yes, of course you can use it if you want to—but why?” Why take this exceedingly rare, oddly-spelled, hard-to-pronounce, one-hit-wonder boy name out of obscurity and then also use it for a girl? If there’s no answer that is any more of an answer than a parent might have for any other name (“We just really liked it, and we like the sound and the meaning”), that’s what gives me that “Why?” feeling. Why do it? Why not find another name you like the sound and meaning of, but without the odd baggage?
For all of those reasons, if it were up to me I think I would use Adelaide instead. It’s almost the same sound; it’s beautiful; it’s used exclusively for girls in the U.S.; and it’s a nice fit with Ariela. Or Adelay would be pretty.
Name meanings are not my thing so I’m not going to dwell too long on that topic, but I will say generally that meanings can vary from book to book. If it’s important to you that it mean “justice of God,” check multiple sources before using it, to make sure the various meanings fit with what you’re going for. The Baby Name Bible says Adlai means “refuge of God.” The Oxford Dictionary of First Names says Adlai is a contraction of Adaliah, and that Adaliah means “God is just.” Baby Names Made Easy: The Complete Reverse-Dictionary of Baby Names says it means “God is just; God’s refuge.”
Name update:
Dear Swistle,
I know that usually when someone writes in asking permission to use a name they love, they use it anyways. However, when I read your reply and the comments, I gave up Adlai for a girl, cold turkey. The replies confirmed my two biggest concerns: 1) it was too strongly associated with Adlai Stevenson to be neutral and 2) its pronunciation is confusing.
From there I reworked both girl and boy choices. The girl’s name wasn’t hard to find. We had a vanishing twin early in the pregnancy, and I had Ida picked out after Ida B. Wells. A girl would have been Ida Beth. I appreciated the suggestions for Dorothea as a first name, which we also considered.
I also gave up Elliot because, as much as I love the name, I didn’t like the tongue twister with Ariela. I looked back through Hebrew names and family names, and Ruben kept catching my attention. I was hooked. I liked the repeated “r” sound with my daughter’s name, the nickname Rue, the workability in Spanish and English, the familiarity but uncommonness, the adorable old-man feel in English and the sharpness of the name in Spanish. I struggled with whether or not to use a family name but ultimately decided to honor Ida B. Wells for a boy as well.
The literal meaning of Ruben, “Behold a Son”, became a running joke for us because the ultrasound looked so much like me that everyone was sure we were having a girl. The doctor laid him on my chest, and, behold, we did have a son. Meet Ruben Wells.
K
For me, Adlai = Adlai Stevenson in the way that Oprah = Oprah Winfrey. I know there are others with the name, but he is the only well-known figure I’m aware of. I would assume you were naming your baby after him, and I would be interested to find out why. Because of that association, the name is male for me. My limited knowledge makes it a vaguely positive association.
If I found out that wasn’t your intention (naming your daughter After Adlai Stevenson), then I would assume you were putting a spin on the Adelaide/Addalee group of names, and that you had accidentally picked Adlai because of a subconscious awareness of Adlai Stevenson. I think it will definitely get lumped in with the other Addy-names, but that it will seem like a much more daring variation on that idea.
If I didn’t have Adlai Stevenson as a model, I would naturally pronounce it ADD-lie (long I sound at the end), as I think it would be pronounced in Spanish.
^^^ This.
Me, too, this entire comment.
The only Adlai I’m familiar with is Stevenson so the name is very male in my mind. I didn’t realise till reading this post that that Adlai pronounced it Adlay, in my head I had always heard it Adlye.
I personally am not a fan of giving strongly gender-marked names to children of the other sex and would rethink Adlai for a girl just on that basis.
I also think it depends on where in the country you are from, how common this name would feel to you. In Chicago, where there is a major highway named after Adlai Stevenson, it comes up more often than in other places for example.
I have also heard and said the name ADD-uh-LAY, with the little uh in the middle as Swistle noted.
Like Kate above, I would ask about Adlai Stevenson if I found a baby named Adlai. I do think it is usable for a girl though, because of the Addy names.
Like others, Adlai is a Very Strong Association name for me-and it is all male. I would likely assume it was a namesake and would find it rather odd on a girl. If I was told it wasn’t a namesake and was used just because “we like the sound” I would assume some Addy-name influence at play. To be honest, there would be a certain amount of inner eye rolling that the parents weren’t able to google and realize this name had a Very Strong Association for a lot people and just pick some other Addy-name for the sound they liked.
Full disclaimer, I’m also not a fan of the whole “boy name on a girl” style in general. I find my Strong Feelings about this are increased when it is a Very Strong Association name.
I think both Ariela and Adlai sound very pretty, but personally I wouldn’t name two siblings such similar names (not a huge deal, just my preference). I imagined called both their names out on a playground, and it twisted up my tongue a bit. But I LOVE your middle name suggestion of Dorothea, and would recommend trying that as the first name, with Adlai in the middle spot? Dorothea and Ariela. They are both distinct and complimentary! And Dorothea has so much great potential for nicknames: Thea, Dora, Dolly, Dottie…
I’m with Swistle on name meanings, they don’t do much for me one way or another, BUT – Dorothea’s meaning is “God’s gift”. I think that’s a beautiful meaning!
For what it’s worth, I pronounced this Ad-lye in my head when reading through this letter.
I’m Canadian, so this Adlai Stevenson person(s) is barely a blip on my radar. I’ve heard the name, but I have no idea who he is or what he’s known for. Some kind of American politician in days past, I assume.
Rather, I associate Adlai as a biblical name. I would assume it was male but wouldn’t be shocked to hear it on a girl. (I have a dear friend who named her daughter Ezra, which seems especially bold to me in a time when it is very popular for boys among our churchy circles.)
The pronunciation to me is obviously Ad-lye.
I think you should go for it. There is no perfect name you won’t have to explain at least some of the time — even Sarah or Mary would have their spellings questioned some of the time.
I don’t know anything about Adlai Stevenson beyond a vague recognition of the name but would assume the name was pronounced like ad-lye. In comparison to your older daughter’s name – which to me reads more strongly feminine – I would assume Adlai was a boy’s name.
Congratulations on your baby!
Ariela is very feminine! To me, Adlai is not feminine enough to match it & has a confusing pronunciation too. I def know the Stevenson tie, so to me this is all boy. I was taught to say “lye” but could easily train myself to say “lay.”
I’d try to build a more fem name off of what you like about Adlai. [If its the meaning… eh, I never care so much about meanings. Honestly almost ALL NAMES have a nice meaning. I’d be tempted to repeat the animal pattern with meaning if anything. Either more lion names-Leola- or other animals-Ursula, Jemima, Mariposa-& then you’d have family totem animals! But I digress…)
Similar to Adlai…. but obs feminine & matching Ariela in style:
Adelina
Adelaide
Adeline
AnnaRae
Addie May
Annelie
Adelia
I guess Adlai is like Micah. I know it’s a boy name but it’s not surprising on a girl. I just think you have MANY choices of clear girl names that have very similar sounds but are not confusing. Good luck!
Yes to all of this
I have only encountered the name Adlai on one person in my entire life and that is Adlai Stevenson, which makes it a very STRONG association (and also very male).
For me this would be unusable, especially with the strongly feminine and fairly familiar Ariela.
I think you should use it if you love it and are prepared to deal with frequent mispronunciations.
FWIW, even though I know it to be Ad-lay I had to constantly correct myself from reading it Ad-lie.
I do also like Adelaide would be a lovely choice with Ariela. You could have Ari and Ada or Ari and Adlai as nicknames.
My sense is that people write to ask if something is OK when they’re going to do it anyhow. Swistle is just so reassuring!
Another who makes the Adlai Stevenson association. The article on how to pronounce his name makes me realize I’ve been mispronouncing it all my life (in my head, at least; I don’t think I’ve ever said it out loud). I blame Amy Grant’s El Shaddai and “Barukh ata Adonai …”
Given that it’s not a traditionally feminine name and lots of people will have strong associations with a specific Adlai (or generations of them), would you be willing to use a spelling that enforces the pronunciation you want? I suppose there are no guarantees, but if you’re going to go off the beaten path, go far!
PS I really like Adelaide.
Canadian here so Adlai Stevenson is not a name I know. However the one Adlai I have come across (professor) was male so I associate the name as male although if I came across a female Adlai I’m not sure I’d be surprised. I’d lump it into the unisex names like Leslie and Ashley and Lee etc.
Wait. In my comment above, I was working on the assumption that you want it to be pronounced ADD-lie, long I sound at the end. Are you hoping for ADD-lay? If so, then multiply by at least two how much confusion I think you may encounter in people who think it’s Adelaide, or wonder why you edged that close to Adelaide but stayed an inch away from it.
I think the long I sound at the end distinguishes the name much more from the popular ones you seem to be trying to avoid. But I would probably not want the headache of being named ADD-lay in the age of Adelaides, if I were her.
Adlai is so rare that I suspect it’s mostly associated with Stevenson, and therefore male, since he’s the only person most of us have ever heard of with that name. Still, it’s very rarity may help you there. As time goes by Stevenson will fade more and more from general memory.
I do like the idea of naming a child Adelaide and nicknaming her Adlai. I think that’d be rather fun.
My first reaction was a strong NO, because I’m old enough to have a strong Adlai Stevenson connection. But that is less and less an issue as time passes. My next reaction was to suggest changing it up. Would you consider the spelling Adlae? That way you get to dictate the pronunciation, and have a unique entry in the SSA list!
I don’t know the politician with this name and don’t have an image of this name being male or female. I’m sure there will be pronunciation issues. The real issue for me is that Ariela and Adlai are just too close with too many repeating sounds.,
How about Ariela and
– Ayelet (Morning star)
– Annora (honor)
Good luck!
I also am ignorant to who Adlai Stevens is.
Having said that, I would DEFINITELY struggle to not only remember this name but how to pronounce it. (And I read blogs like this fabulous one and am allllll about names).
I agree that Adelaide and Annora are gorgeous options.
BUT congrats on your new child and best wishes to you and your family!
I think because both Adelaide and Adeline are pretty popular right now, any time you introduce your child or she introduces herself people will hear one of those (depending on whether you use the Add-lay or Add-lye pronunciation. For me, that would get old fast. I can see this happening endlessly:
“What’s your name?”
“Adlai”
“Hi Adeline!”
“No, Adlai”
“Adeline. That’s what I said.”
“No, ADlai.”
“I don’t understand. Can you spell it for me?”
I just don’t think there is any way people will ever get this correct the first time they hear it, especially when she first starts saying her name as a child.
And seeing it on paper first, people may not guess the correct pronunciation.
Even without the male/female issue, it’s just a challenging name. Personally, it would be a bridge too far for me.
I say it Ad-lay, and it’s strongly associated with the Stevensons (there have been several famous Adlai Stevensons- a US Vice President and a Senator and a governor).
I’m not usually a fan of novel spellings but this may be a case where one of the spellings Swistle listed might be more what you are after.
I can only picture it on a boy, sorry
I’d also pronounce it ad-lye
It’s such a giant depature from your first daughter’s name, I can’t see using it.
I don’t see it on a girl but I do associate it with the various Adlai Stevensons. Plus, I think it is easily confused with Adelaide and other Ad- names, has a pronunciation issue, and doesn’t pair well with Ariela. I just read up on the Stevensons and it seems the name has continued in the family, there is an Adlai III, IV, and a V born in 1994, though the IV had once said he would be Adlai the last.
I’d be surprised to hear Adlai on a girl and I’d wonder if you had an unusual interest in mid-20th century American politics, but as with nearly any name I’d get used to it pretty quickly. If you’re okay with people being taken aback at first, I think it would be fine. And the younger the people, the less likely they would have even heard of him. (I’m 52.)
I like Adelaide best of the sounds-like names discussed. I though the idea of moving Dorothea from middle to first was good, too.
BTW, it turns out there are FOUR Adlai Stevensons. Here’s the Wikipedia disambiguation page.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adlai_Stevenson
I would pronounce Ad-lay. I’m not familiar with the person referenced so it doesn’t seem specifically male to me. However I would say it sounds unisex vs your daughters name which is distinctly feminine.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adlai_Stevenson_IV
See: personal info
Interesting insight on the name
I grew up in California and never heard of Stevenson, so the association will depend on where you (and one day she) lives.
If I saw the name with no context, my first guess would be male and Jewish (I grew up in a heavily Jewish area), or perhaps Muslim (I work with a lot of people from the Middle East, South Asia, and East Asia, and as a nurse, I usually see names before I meet the person, so if I don’t recognize a name, I usually think it belongs to one of the cultures from one of those places, and make my best guess). If I saw the name on a female with a western, not traditionally Jewish last name, I’d think either Jewish heritage, or more likely, a parent looking to get creative with the spelling and pronunciation of one of the popular “Ad” names. There is nothing wrong with being of any heritage, or with having a creative spelling (it can be annoying for the bearer and those trying to remember how to spell /say it, but for the most part it isn’t wrong), and it wouldn’t affect my interaction with the person. But you wanted to know what people’s impressions would be, and so if I thought about their name at all, those would be my thoughts.
As a side note, on a girl I would really want to add a third syllable, “Ad-eh-lai” or “Ad-uh-lai”. This is especially true when I say it with Ariela (someone else mentioned their tongue getting tied). It’s sort of like some one I know who named her son Harry and daughter Alison, and found when saying their names together she naturally wanted to say “Alison and Harrison” or “Harry and Alice” (they were a no nickname family, and the slip ups were unappreciated accidents!)
As for how I would say the name, I would be confused at how to pronounce it, and could see myself guessing at either “-lye” or “lay”, but could easily be trained to say either.
As someone else wrote, I would also be prone to miss hearing it as ”Ad‘line” or ”Ad’laid“, especially on a girl.
None of these are or need to be deal breakers, but it sounds like you are having reservations about using the name on a child, and these are the (non-Stevenson) associations and potential pitfalls I foresee with it.
I like the suggestion to make her given name Adelaide or Adeline (matching your preferred pronunciation) and calling her Adlai. It’s no more or less confusing than most nicknames, and since there is no way to guess her preference as an adult, this will give her a nice, functional name to use that everyone is familiar with and understands, but is also uniquely her own.
I asked my husband, a neutral party with no knowledge of names and unfamiliar with mid century American politics, what he thought of the written name.
He couldn’t decide on pronunciation.
He guessed girl (and found the idea of it as a boy name laughable).
He thought it look misspelled. When I asked if he thought it was made up, he said no, more like “someone had taken Madeline and Adelaide and mixed it up”. After a few minutes thought he asked the story behind the name and guessed that the letters might be of significance somehow (last week I showed him the Rosebud clip from the Dick Van Dyke show, which might be why he thought that)
The name is also not to his taste. He tends to go for less common names, or names he has a positive association with. Like, he thinks Ira sounds like an intriguing girls name (he had no idea it is traditionally male until I told him) and likes Morgan because the little girl in the Avengers was so cute.
I actually know a woman named Ira! She pronounces it EE-ra.
It’s the Russian nickname for Irene!
Well what do you know? I’ve learned something new today. I’d only ever heard Ira as an old Man Jewish before.
So often Russian male nicknames we give to girls, but this is a male given name they nickname on girls.
Do they pronounce it Ee-rah or Eye-rah?
Ee-ra!
It was surprising for me seeing and hearing Ira pronounced the way it is and as a man’s name when I first learned about it.
I personally would not use Adlai. I’m not familiar with the politician being Canadian, but it seems drastically different than your other daughters name and would cause a lot of confusion (Adelaide, Adeline etc ) which seems to irk when it happens with ariela’s name.
Would you consider naming your daughter Elliot since you love that name? It’s also unisex so could work for either a boy or girl. Otherwise I think naming your daughter Adeline or Adelaide and having a nickname of Adlay could be nice!
Hmm. The only Adlai I’ve heard of was Adlai Stevenson, and while I knew he was a politician, I had to google to remember any other details. I’ve never been sure whether to pronounce it AD-lye or AD-lay. I don’t love it.
Maybe Adele instead?
How does one see how many babies were given a name in a certain year? My child has a non-top-1000 name, and I can’t seem to see how many babies were given that name on the SSA website. We are expecting another and our frontrunner name is another non-top-1000 name, so I’d really like to see how uncommon it really is before saddling the baby with too unique a name! If anyone can answer this, I’d be most grateful!
How to Find Baby Name Data: Rankings, Number of Births, State-Specific Data, and Information on Names Outside the Top 1000
Ruben Wells! I adore it!!!
Congratulations on your precious little boy! I love his name!
Thank you for updating!
Gorgeous baby and a perfect name. Congratulations!