Greetings, Swistle:
My husband and I are expecting a boy towards the end of February. We plan to have only one child.
We briefly discussed names before we found out the gender at 12 weeks but we both had initially agreed on Vesper or Vespera for a girl. Middle name for a boy or girl would be an honor name.
Since then, we have been lost. I have become obsessed with finding the “perfect” name and he finds a name he likes, attaches to it for a few weeks, and then gets bored with it. I am now 34 weeks pregnant and he wants to just choose a name when the little guy is here but I find the idea daunting and think it’s important to at least have a short list of names.
My name is a misspelled variation of a trendy 80s girl name. His name is a nickname variation of a classic boys name. Both begin with A and last name is McIntire. Neither of us want anything remotely common, but I prefer something still established and “usable” with a nickname variation that’s not too weird for a resume and he ventures into names that I consider not usable at all. We are in the United States and my ancestry is mostly Scottish, Irish and English while his is mostly Scottish, German and Spanish.
Current front-runners are Lucian/Lucan or Finan/Finnan. Lucian is derived from Latin, Lucan and Finan are Gaelic. My hesitation is whether they are too weird and whether the LO will be swimming in a sea of Finn’s in a few years. Lucas is classic but it seems Finn is trendy.
Other names that have not been completely vetoed are Killian/Cillian and Cassian. His favorites are Aquila, Quill, Achilles and Acacius. I also like Caius, Eamon, Cormac, Leander and Malakai but most don’t really work with our last name. My parents have resorted to calling the baby Jack and I love the name but it is way too popular for my taste and also doesn’t work with our last name.
Please help us. I will be happy to send an update if this child ever has a name.
Kind regards,
I was very amused by the subject line of your email (“An Impossible Couple Seeks a Boy Name”) and hope this post will not be far too late to help.
There is a certain joy in choosing a baby name without taking sibling names into account, and I am feeling that joy here. I think you have a lot of good/cool choices to work with.
I think the most difficult thing about naming the first child is really CONCEPTUALIZING the baby as a person. This is one use for The Starbucks Test, which is where you take one of the names you’re considering for the baby, and say it to the barista as if it were your own. It helps to bridge that gap between names that are cool and fun to think about, and names that work for a real actual person living life and ordering coffee. I think this is the sort of thing that may assist a baby-namer of your husband’s variety: it’s one thing to suggest Achilles/Acacius when you’ve grown up as, say, a Matt, and quite another to say it with your own voice to someone who has to write it on a cup.
Which is not to imply I think Achilles/Acacius should be off the table. No: name variety is lovely and I am fresh from seeing many, many classroom valentines-exchange lists containing many surprising names. It’s more that I think it’s a good idea to go into such a choice with a firm grasp of the context in which the name will be used once it is off of the ideas list and onto the actual person. “Can you change Achilles’s diaper?” and “Acacius, how many times do I have to tell you to put the toilet seat down??” and “Dinnertime, Aquila!”
Here’s another exercise for getting names to click out of the theoretical: Go to a public place where there is a wide variety of people of a wide variety of ages/types (a mall is perfect, if you have one near you). Bring your name lists with you, and sit where you can see lots of people (near the food court is my favorite). One at a time, take a name from the list, and apply it to a bunch of people of various ages. “That baby’s name is Killian. That toddler’s name is Killian. His father’s name is Killian. That elderly man’s name is Killian. The custodian’s name is Killian. The clerk at the crepes stand is also named Killian.” Does the name WORK? Do you think, “Yeah, that fits a nice variety of people!”
I know you’ve heard me say this a million times before, but I strongly encourage shifting the goal away from perfection if at all possible. Especially when you are naming just one child, I think there can be a feeling almost as if there is One Best Name, and that this is your one chance to use it, and that you must find it. But there are lots and lots of names that would work well for any given baby, and the parents’ only real responsibility is to choose something the baby can later write on their homework and say to the barista and give to the receptionist when they arrive for their appointment. A name can be a delightful, meaningful, beautiful thing, but it is at its heart a PRACTICAL thing, and so as long as you are making a good faith effort to give him a good, useful name, everything is going to be fine.
Lucian, Lucan, Finan, Finnan, Finian—those all seem to me to fit the bill. It’s hard to predict which names will rise to the point where their popularity may cause you regret; at some point I think the only thing to do is pick your favorite and hope for the best.
If you wanted to add more contenders to the list (and perhaps at this late point that would be unhelpful), I notice a LOT of K/Q/hard-C and L sounds in your lists. I might skim one more time through the boy-name section of a baby name book, saying each one aloud briskly and scanning for those sounds. Aidric, Alec, Arlo, Brannock, Brecken, Broderick, Calder, Callan, Calvin, Clark, Declan, Kellan, Lachlan, etc.
Lucan McIntire
Finan McIntire
Both Lucan and Finan are excellent with your Scottish surname and mutual Scots ancestry. Each of those names is similar to names we are hearing but unique. Both sound most distinguished without any unneeded shortening.
I also like Duncan for you. Duncan is a fine Scottish name, the name of medieval kings. Duncan too sounds especially well with your surname: Duncan McIntire
Best wishes!
I actually know a Duncan. Seems like a nice guy, a wee bit nerdy but that’s no bad thing. (throughout middle and high school he and his mom would do a lot of historical reinactments. Maybe they still do; Haven’t seen either in a couple years).
If you’re worried about Malakai going with McIntire, I’m here to say that one of Frank McCourt’s brothers was actor Malachy McCourt (https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0566663/). Mr. McCourt was my high school English teacher.
I don’t have a problem with ANY of the names in the “doesn’t go with the surname” with the surname. Eamon and Cormac are especially nice. I also liked the suggestions Declan and Lachlan.
COOL
Whoa! Cool!
I actually like Vesper for a boy as well! Aquila reads as much more “feminine” to me, which I don’t think is a problem, but just a heads up that people may assume he’s a girl. (Also, periodic reminder that you can’t predict what gender your kid may identify with in the future anyway :))
There is no perfect name. But you have a lot of good options! I like Lucian, Killian, Caius, Quill, and Leander best from your list. I don’t think any of them are actually issues with your last name.
You might also like:
Adrian
Alaric
Atticus
August
Caesar/Cesar
Cairo
Cassius
Caspian
Corvin
Damien
Dorian
Evander
Jasper
Julian/Julius
Lionel
Sterling
Tristan
Finan or Finnan both just sound unfinished to me, like they should be Finnian or Finnegan. That said, Finn McIntire is darling. Not a big fan of Lucian but it’s ok. I do like Eamon and Cormac a lot. Cassian is alright but I think I prefer Caspian or Cassius. Killian is a no go for me due to the word Kill being so prominent.
From Swistle’s suggestions, I like Calvin and Broderick (nn Brody?).
A few additional suggestions:
Burke
Tobin
Merrick
Merritt
Lyle
Conrad
Garrett
Barrett
Amos
Callahan
Clive
Barnaby
Grady
Felix
Griffin
Penn
Dashiell
Davis
Corbin
Ezekiel
Gideon
Oscar
Remington (Remy)
Tate
Vaughn
Wells
I agree about Finnan sounding unfinished. Your comment made me realize that I’d misread the name as Finnian and had been saying it as that in my head. I would pick Finn or Finnian or Finnegan over Finnan.
Callum nickname Cal seems perfect!
My son’s name is Callahan (nn: Cal) so of course I love it– I think it or a variation fits. My husband is half Scottish and half Irish and were drawn to names with those roots. I like Callahan, Callum, Callan (all nickname Cal), Bennet (Ben), Beckett (Beck), Brecken (Breck), Broderick (Brody). I also think August or Augustine (Auggie or Gus) would work well with your last name.
I’d also add Cullen to your list of possibilities.
May I suggest Corbin since you like Finn. Those are my kids names so I am biased. There are quit a few Finn’s around, at least on the east coast where I am, but it’s not like mike or Jennifer when we were kids.
Also i agree that you should have a short list for the hospital. But for us discussing names was impossible before the baby was born, which just couldn’t seem to compromise. after the baby was born we had a name picked within a short five minute discussion. Worked so well the first time we deliberately didn’t discuss any names the second time till I was in the hospital starting the induction process. We didn’t know the sex of the baby so we waited until after he was born and picked the name easily. Good luck!
I really like Corbin! Goes with the last name without sounding too similar to it.
Love Corbin! That is a great suggestion! Corbin McIntire is perfection!
I was coming to suggest Quinlan. Get to the qus of Aquilla, but in maybe a more recognizable way. Plus it had the same ending of Finnian and Lucian. Quinlan McIntire. Nn could be Quinn if you need one. Or heck simply Q, I have a boss that goes by Q.
Best of luck and congratulations!
I love the name Cillian/Killian. You might be able to get around the awkward nickname issue (aka “Kill! Look at me when I’m talking to you!”) by finding a middle name that makes good initials: Cillian Jack = CJ, Killian Joseph = KJ, Cillian Thomas = CT, etc.
Also a big fan of Corbin.
Conall
Donovan
Conley
Domhnall / Domnall
Doyle
Alistair
Iain
Another vote for Callum.
Can I just say that I love your parents’ nickname Jack Mac!
Wanted to suggest Kieran.
Or Ciaran, (I think it’s like Bryan and Brian) My boy’s got an anglicized version of this, so I like it.
Abby at appellationMountain did a brilliant post on Conrad today.
You said you had some German heritage. And it does sound cool with your surname!
Congrats and best wishes!
I noticed a lot of “ian” endings, but my favorite is Cassian McIntire. Another option is Angus McIntire.
I want to suggest Alcuin with the nickname Quinn. Alcuin is an Anglican Saint. I know of a baby with this name and it’s super cute on him! And there are still the Al and Quinn options to make it sounds more familiar.
Caedmon is another fun option .. for some reason it felt like a match to your style?
I totally agree with the Callum/Cal option though. That seems to fit well!
I also know a Malachy who pronounces it “mala-key” and it’s a nice variation that sets him apart.
What about Kiran? (Or could spell it Kieran)
I’m just hung up on what the posters’ names must be. Ashleigh & Andy? Alisha & Alex? Vespera doesn’t strike me as at all established or usable, so I question whether that’s even your actual criteria. To me Lucan or Finan would be undesirable because they are going to be constantly mistaken for vastly more common names Lucas and Finn or Finnian. That, plus pronunciation is not intuitive. Is Finan like the word finance? Or Fin-Ann? Or FINN-en? Is Lucan like Luke-en, or does it start like Lucy? Or Luck-en? If you don’t want anything remotely common, don’t pick a name that is very similar to a common name. Example, my daughter’s classmate Jaxxen. Sure, she’s the only Jaxxen in the school, but it’s all the aggravation of a weird, hard-to-spell name, with none of the originality. It’s 100% a different feel than you’d get with Jacinta or Jessamine or Ajax. Maybe you can settle on something totally distinctive but still a recognizable name like Fergus or Odysseus or Atlas.