Dear Swistle,
I’ve been a lifelong name nerd, and I’ve been reading your blog for years – I just love it. I could talk about names all day long, but of course, it’s harder when it comes to actually naming your own children. I don’t think I wrote in about my first son, Graham Matthew, who just turned 2, but we’re expecting another baby in March, and facing a few naming dilemmas.
If this baby is a girl, we have a name picked out that we’ve loved since our first pregnancy – Ava. We’re 99% sure we’d still choose Ava (saying that knowing we had a different name picked out for Graham our entire pregnancy until we met him and changed our minds!).
But we’re struggling with a boy name. We love Graham’s name, and we’d love to find a similar name that hits the same points for us as Graham:
1) It’s familiar, but not super common. Graham was almost named Jack – and now there are two other Jacks in his daycare classroom, so we’re a bit relieved we didn’t go that route (although Ava is extremely popular, so obviously it’s not a deal-breaker for us to pick a top 10 name!). We just like that it’s a name that seems fresh, but you’ve also definitely heard it before.
2) It’s a no-nickname name. My husband is Matthew, goes by Matt, and it’s a minor annoyance to him to have a legal first name and the name he goes by. And I just don’t tend to like nickname names. Again, not a deal-breaker, but a preference. (Also, daycare kids have started calling Graham “Graham-o,” so I realize no name is nickname-proof!).
3) It doesn’t end with -son. This is the saddest one for me. With the last name Petersen (not how it’s spelled), one of my favorite boy names, Harrison, is out. Harrison Petersen just doesn’t work, as much as it breaks my heart to cross it off the list.
Names I like:
– Everett (my #1 favorite, I love it – to me, it hits all the points above, goes so well with Graham, and makes my heart want to burst when I think of having a son named Everett. Of course, my husband doesn’t like it. He thinks, especially paired with Graham, it sounds too pretentious. What??)
– Carter (both my husband and I like it, neither of us are sure it’s the name)
– Henry (another one my husband doesn’t like – and one I pushed for in my first pregnancy to no avail!)
– Rowan (a pretty strong veto from my husband)
– Harris (not sure I love it, absolutely sure it’s on the list as a replacement for Harrison)Names my husband likes:
– Aiden (we live in Minneapolis, so I worry that Aiden Petersen sounds too much like former Vikings football player Adrian Peterson, but maybe I’m overthinking it – plus, I just don’t love it)
– Colin (just ok to me)
– William (I like the name William, but I don’t like any of the nicknames)Names we like but can’t use because of family/close friends:
– Jack (coincidentally, our best friends used this name for their son born this summer, not knowing Graham was almost named it – they have great taste. :-) )
– Ben
– MilesAlso, both of our maternal grandfathers were named Vincent, so we think it might be nice to use it as a middle name to honor them both (and our mothers). This is not a requirement, as we’ve found that many names we like don’t go with Vincent, but also wondering if you have other ideas that would go well with that?
Is there a name out there that is classic but feels fresh, is not a nickname name, goes well with the (infuriating) last name that ends in -son, and I can get my husband to agree to? I feel like I peruse the same lists over and over (including reading Baby Name Wizard cover to cover and back again) and nothing is popping out at me. Would love some new ideas!
Thank you!
Kristen
First of all: high-five, name twin. I won’t go so far as to say Best Spelling, since there are many things to be said in favor of Kristin and so forth, but I do get a little thrill to see Our Spelling.
Secondly, I think the obvious solution here is for your husband to come around to the name Everett. It’s the best name. We get so, so, SO many letters where there is a best name, and the ONLY problem is that the other parent doesn’t like it, and so we all put our heads together to come up with not-that-name options—and then we get the follow-up and it’s like “Yay, the other parent came around!” Could we not WILL this to be one of those cases? Everett Petersen! Graham and Everett! It meets all the preferences!! COME ON!!!!
Also: it’s not pretentious. It isn’t. I know that’s a subjective thing, and a matter of opinion and whatever, but also: he is wrong. Tell him Swistle says Everett is not only a dapper gentleman name but also a cheerful farmer name. Everett, in flannel and denim, leaning on the fence chewing on a long straw, considering if it’s time to sheer the sheep yet. It’s part of the name’s charm, that you can easily picture an Everett sipping a cocktail OR slopping the pigs OR BOTH.
And it’s familiar but not super common! It’s a low-nickname name! It doesn’t end in -son! It is FABULOUS with the middle name Vincent! Tell your husband this: Swistle says “COME. ON.”
SIGH FINE. Okay, then I want to rule out all your husband’s choices. William is too common with a name like Graham, and also they both end in -am, and also it is NICKNAME-RICH—pretty much the exact equivalent of Matthew/Matt except WAY MORE SO. Aiden is too common too, though much better on the nickname thing. In 2018, according to the Social Security Administration, there were 2,165 new baby boys named Graham, 14,516 named William (plus another 19,837 named Liam), and 11,531 named Aiden/Aidan. Colin is good, popularity-wise (1,472 new baby boys in 2018), and there is Colin Firth to consider.
Let’s do consider him
I mean, LET’S
I do like the name Colin. With Graham, I like it better than Carter, except that YOU don’t like it better. But I feel like Carter spins Graham to a surname name, while Colin spins it more toward the gentleman/farmer thing I like so much, not that that means YOU have to like it so much. Also, with a brother named Graham, Carter shares a few too many letters/sounds with the word cracker.
Let’s see if we can find some more names along the Graham/Everett lines, in case your husband doesn’t come to his senses, I mean come around to what is clearly the best name, I mean change his mind.
Clark; Clark Petersen; Clark Vincent Petersen; Graham and Clark
Davis; Davis Petersen; Davis Vincent Petersen; Graham and Davis
Dean; Dean Petersen; Dean Vincent Petersen; Graham and Dean
Edmund; Edmund Petersen; Edmund Vincent Petersen; Graham and Edmund
Elliot; Elliot Petersen; Elliot Vincent Petersen; Graham and Elliot
Harvey; Harvey Petersen; Harvey Vincent Petersen; Graham and Harvey
Louis; Louis Petersen; Louis Vincent Petersen; Graham and Louis
Nolan; Nolan Petersen; Nolan Vincent Petersen; Graham and Nolan
Oliver; Oliver Petersen; Oliver Vincent Petersen; Graham and Oliver
Reid; Reid Petersen; Reid Vincent Petersen; Graham and Reid
Simon; Simon Petersen; Simon Vincent Petersen; Graham and Simon
Wesley; Wesley Petersen; Wesley Vincent Petersen; Graham and Wesley
I included some nickname-having names, because I get what your husband is saying about it being a pain to be both Matthew and Matt, but on the other hand that seems like (1) a perfectly ordinary name situation, like how you and I always have to spell our names so people know it’s the K & -en version, and also (2) Kids These Days don’t go by nicknames as commonly as When We Were Young. That is, any Matthew I grew up with was a Matt and that was that: the full version got brought out on the first day of class and at graduation; but Matthews born now are commonly called Matthew, and Williams are commonly called William, and so forth, and so I feel like there’s LESS of a “I’m always known as one name but my real name is something different” situation.
Name update:
Hi Swistle,
I’m so excited to announce the birth of our son, Everett James! My husband finally came around to the name (like we had hoped he would!). We both agreed upon meeting him that he is indeed Everett. We had discussed Vincent as a middle name but ultimately decided it was too long with Everett Petersen, so we chose James instead. James is a family name as well, but we picked it more because we liked it with Everett. And, this may be a stretch, but my middle name starts with a J and it feels special to share a middle initial. Thanks so much to you and all the readers who commented with other ideas (and support of Everett!).
Best,
Kristen
Graham is on my list of boy names too. I think the perfect sibling name is Barrett! It’s my favorite name that I won’t get to use (my husband vetoed for valid reasons).
Oohhh, this is gold. Similar ending to Everett, some sounds in common with Harrison, sounds great with Graham, not particularly nick-nameable, familiar but uncommon, feels fresh but old. I LOVE THIS.
I really like Colin with Graham too. Harrison was on my list for my first and now I’m kind of into the name Harold. I wonder if you would have similar inclinations?
Harrison and Harold takes me to Harvey!
Just put Vincent in there and don’t worry about flow! What a great way to honor both grandfathers!
I also like Everett and if you are done with babies now might be the time to lean on your husband about what you have gone through with the pregnancy and the birthing, ahem.
I loved the name Graham but with my son’s last name it sounded silly. So I had to leave it behind—glad it’s being used and loved by you!
Our second son is Angus, which everyone recognizes but no one is named. We thought we would call him Gus but we don’t. Graham and Angus?
I also liked Malcolm, Fergus, Robert, and Hugh if any of those appeal. My friend called her son Roger which was startling and I have come to really like it. No name twins or nicknames there.
Good luck!
I love Everett, Harvey, and Wesley with Graham! And, surprisingly, the suggestion of Davis. Fraser and Morgan come to mind too, though Morgan is popular among girls right now so not everyone will love it. I’m also going to suggest Callum and Lachlan because they’re so nice with Graham–full discloser, those are my kids names so I’m partial.
I agree Everett is a pretty great name for you and with Swistle that Colin ticks a lot of the same boxes. I like Reed, too, (this spelling a bit better). How about Devin?
I LOVE Graham! You have so many great choices here & Swistle is right on the money w her advice.
I taught a lovely set of brothers, years ago, called Graham & Owen. I’ve always quite admired that set & wanted to suggest Owen Vincent P. And hey, Dad, Everett IS NOT pretentious! Keep it on the table!! 2 Swistle suggestions really stand out as wonderful to me: Reid Vincent & Nolan Vincent. Love them both w Graham. You can’t go wrong here! So many great choices. Good luck!
I’d like to suggest Hayes and Brooks – has the Harrison vibe without the “son/sen” ending.
Another vote for Everett here. Graham & Everett would be just perfect! Dear Kristen’s Husband, please change your mind! ;)
I would also add Declan, Ezra, Edward, Roman (as an alternative for Rowan), Victor, Eric, Garrett (if you don’t mind repeating initials), Morgan, Arthur, Emmett, Brennan, Holden, Conrad, Oscar, Reuben and maybe Sullivan to the list of possibilities.
Side note: it this baby turns out to be a girl, Vincent would make a really cool middle name for Ava: Ava Vincent Petersen <3
We have the same taste in boy names (almost all of the same favorite names) and we chose Reid. I think it goes so well with Graham! I immediately thought of Adrian Peterson with Aidan, so that’s the only name I would cross off–you have a solid list! ;)
Malcolm and Simon came to mind as being similar to Graham to me. Oh and I see Swistle mentioned Simon too.
Would Emmett work as being similar to Everett but not the same? I know of a baby Elliot about to be born.
My son has a friend named Everett, though it’s spelled Everytt. I’d not thought of the name as pretentious, though I can understand what your husband means.
I like the suggestions of Reid, Owen, Wesley, Everett, Elliot and Emmett the best with Graham. They all seem to be in the same category of familiar but not overused. In addition, they have a gentleness to them that I’ve always found appealing for a little boy. I’d also suggest Rhys (or Reese).
I love Rhys but Rhys/Reese Petersen makes me think of Reese’s Pieces!
I think you’re right on about Everett. It’s amazing with Graham and your husband is wrong, opinions be damned. Ha! I really don’t think it’s pretentious in the slightest though. I think of names like Percy, Spencer, Brooks and Carlisle to lean in the preppy direction which might be what he means, but Everett is definitely not in that camp for me!
Agree with Swistle, Colin is pretty good here as well. I also LOVE the suggestion above for Barrett as an alternative, I think it’s amazing here. I think the suggestions above for Malcolm, Owen, Simon, Lachlan, Wesley – all pretty good!
Some others that might hit the right notes: Desmond, Cedric, Samuel, Julian, Jules, Anders, Andrew, Marshall, Ethan, Kyle, Austin, Raymond, Evan.
I do think that Aiden is a nice name, but to me all the Aiden/Jayden/Brayden/Kayden etc names read VERY mid-2000’s to me. Those names got SO extremely popular around 2003-2007ish, in the same way that Ashley and Michael = 1980’s kid. So, maybe a point of consideration for Aiden?
As a mom of a 2004 Brendan whose soccer team included two Brandons, a Landon, and a Jordan, I say YEP to this comment.
Please don’t use Harris (harry peter sen? yikes)
Beckett
Bennett
Brett
Garrett
Calvin
Forrest
Josh/Joshua
Alex (maybe not with Graham but sounds good with Petersen)
Kenneth
Kevin
Corbin
I love Everett too, and know one who is super casual and country, so it’s not pretentious in my book, FWIW.
You’ll have to help me – what’s wrong with Harry? I was going to suggest it as the obvious choice- google isn’t helping me unless you do t want to name after a teen golfer?? I am so bad at pop culture!!
@maree In the US Peter is sometimes a slang term for a male body part. In many parts Harry is pronounced the same as hairy.
I feel like the perfect name is so obvious but no one else has suggested it so there must be some reason it doesn’t work that I’m missing?!?
Ross!
Other choices Lachlan, Callum both are a bit 2000s but as you list Aiden I guess you are proudly counter-cultural on that front.
My maiden name was Graham, my father was Ross :)
I have an Everett and I heart his name so much. He’s a goofy, skinny, big-toothed nine year old so it’s really hard to see the name as pretentious. But I will tell you (your husband) that I live in the south and work in healthcare and I have encountered many overall-clad farmer men named Everett. They’re usually 70+ and hard working and adorable. Not pretentious at all! I really like Everett Vincent😍
Good luck convincing your husband:)
Congratulations on the new little one!
When I think about other names with the same feeling as Graham, the name Russell comes to mind.
I thought of Toby and Hugh. Relatively nickname-proof, sounds good with Vincent, no -sen/son endings, I don’t think they sound pretentious, and they work with Graham. Graham and Toby. Graham and Hugh. I like Eliot and Bennett too, but I’m not as sure of those with Vincent. Also want to agree with poster above that Vincent would be a badass middle name for daughter Ava, if it goes that way.
Sorry for any repeats but with Graham I really like…
Nolan
Hayes
Davis
Brooks
Elliott
Wesley
Adler
Grady
Rory
Emmett
Callum
Liam
Morgan
Avery
And I agree, Everett does not come across as pretentious.
I agree Everett is perfect. Maybe Everest or Emmett?
I also really like Colin and agree it is a better fit than Carter. Also, thank you Swistle for allowing me to “consider” Mr Firth. You made my morning!
For me, Graham, Everett and Colin all ready as just a teeny bit British. Along those lines, I will also suggest Trevor.
I quite like Harris. Or perhaps even Harry? Harris and William make me think of Willis. And as a mom of a William (and aunt to Matthew) I really do think the nickname issue isn’t an issue as much anymore. My son and nephew never use nicknames and the majority of their friends do not use nicknames either. I know several kids with names that would have automatically been shortened when we were kids who only use the full version. I wouldn’t let the potential for a nickname stop you.
I have an Everett, and I love the name Graham! (My husband didn’t, because my husband is a pill).
First, Everett is perfect. Second, my nephew is named Elliot and I find it to be very similar in feel and sound. I also feel that way about the name Emmett. Third, other names on our personal list (or of our children, as the case may be): Gabriel, Quentin, Arlo, Jasper
And have we considered Vincent as a first name? It’s quite nice!
yes, that’s what I came here to say! If OP is worried about nicknames it certainly is often shortened to Vince but no need for it to be.
I came here to say the same, another vote for Vincent as a first name!
I have a grandson Vincent, and he doesnt get called Vince, or Vinnie.
Totally agree with Swistle…Everett is perfect if you can convince your husband. Or perhaps the similar sounding Barrett or Emmett.
Love Swistle’s suggestions of Davis, Dean, Clark, Nolan and Reid.
I could also see:
Cole
Hayes
Brooks
Tobin
Arlo
Beau
Beckett
Burke
Eli
Evan
Holden
Milo
Tate
Spencer
Vaughn
Dane
My son’s name is Harrison and I’m pregnant with my second and want so desperately to call him Harvey but I think it’s too similar to Harry (which we sometimes call him) TAKE HARVEY. I am lovesick on Harvey!
xx
Harvey is great! Adding it to my list! (Thank you and Swistle and many others who suggested it!)
The name Harvey Vincent Petersen is giving me heart eyes!
Crosby. My daughter’s best buddy’s name. Adorable, has that older vintage feel, not common like Graham. Best wishes!
Everett is definitely the best name! Others I thought might work: Rhett, Jay, Walter, Wallace, Hugh (as others have suggested) or Hughes
Gavin? Gordon?
Forrest? Glen?
David? Devin?
Yeah. Harris.
Harris Vincent.
Graham and Harris Petersen.
This is perfection, and you already thought of it. ;)
You’re good at this!
Congrats!
Clark was my first thought and I’m glad Swistle included it. I also love Clive and think it’s dashing but vastly underused.
I love Colin and Owen with Graham. And for reasons I can’t pin down, am not a huge fan of Everett–though everyone else seems to love it.
Without reading all the comments I really like Hugh.
Hugh Vincent Peterson.
Graham & Hugh
Hello fellow Twin City Mama!
Big fan of all these names! Most of them are that elusive sweet spot, heard of, easy to spell, not that common. I’m another one pushing for Everett. Everett and Graham, swoon.
I have a one year old and don’t know any littles with these names, but I would LOVE to!
Also suggesting (some are repeats) Simon, Hugh, Malcom, Oscar, Calvin and Dexter.
I wanted to second a few that have already been said. Of course Everett is by far the best, but…. Moving on.
Emmett Vincent Petersen
Garrett Vincent Petersen
Grant Vincent Petersen
Barrett Vincent Petersen
Best of luck!
Two I would definitely rule out are Aiden (I agree, I think Adrian Peterson immediately) and Harris (Harris Petersen makes me think Harris Teeter, like the grocery store chain).
I saw Holden suggested. That was my first thought but now I’m second guessing whether it works with the last name. I have always thought of it as in the same camp as Graham and Everett. I know a Graham whose brothers are Nolan and Carter. I never had the Graham Carter Graham Cracker thought with that sibset but maybe it’s a diluted association because there are four kids in the set, not just two.
Maybe Ian or Russell (does have nickname potential, though) or Nathan?
Clark or Everett are so good!!!
I love Clark the best! But also Reid/Reed and Hugh.
I agree with some above that Harris has problems (Harry Peter, Harris Teeter).
And, minority me, I don’t hate Everett but I think it sounds a little fussy with your last name when not shortened. I would like Rhett better if you like that sound.
I also don’t prefer names ending in N because of the not-quite-rhyme with your last name.
Another thought: what about Wade?
Has anyone mentioned Ian yet?
Scottish/Euro like Graham, shirt and nickname proof… Ian Vincent Pedersen.
Or Alec. Alec Vincent.
If not Owen (which I love) how about Evan?
After reading your letter, I was going to recommend Davis! ( then I saw that Swistle also recommended Davis) I have a grandson named Davis and everyone tells us how they love the fact that it is familiar and yet unexpected. We have never run across another Davis. His older brother happens to be Nolan which is such a super name too, very few of them and it is easily recognizable. I think I like names that have fewer letters and will be visually easy to read like Graham.
Everett’s a good solid name that I can see in a farmer. It’d fit right in with the farmer family my grandma belonged to, with all those Lawrences, Felixes, Bryants, and Cyruses.
I personally don’t love Everett but I agree that it does not sound pretentious and does sound nice with Graham.
I LOVE Elliot with Graham!
John? I guess it could turn into Johnny, but we have a toddler John in our family and it wouldn’t cross my mind to call him that.
How about Vincent as a first name? Did I miss something about that not working for you? Love it with Graham.
Thank you, Swistle, and thank you everyone for your great ideas! I’m blown away! (Also the photos/Colin Firth argument may have tipped the scale to add Colin to my list.)
I have a feeling we’ll be looking at this post and comments in the hospital with baby #2. ;-) And I’ll be sure to share an update! Thanks again!
I have a feeling we’ll get an update in a few months about Graham and Everett, but here are some more not-too-common-but-recognizable names just in case:
Brody
Barrett (maybe a compromise?)
Camden
Marshall
Malcolm
Hayden
So many great suggestions here!
I’ll add Leo, Lee, Mark, Jonah, Mason, and Theo (often given nowadays as a standalone, not a nickname for Theodore).
Leo, especially, to me hits that sweet spot and sounds great with Graham and with Peterson, and works with Vincent.
I was going to suggest Ross as well. I like Collin better than Everett. I also like Nathan in this list.
I had Graham on my list for a boy this time around, it’s such a great name! We already have a Colin and a I thought they went so well together. Another one that might work is Seth, it’s one we ended up going with and checks a lot of your boxes (which were, coincidentally, also our boxes!).
How about Calvin? Familiar but not common, and I love it with Graham, has the same friendly and warm vibe! Could also be a good compromise between Carter and Colin!
We have a Graham with a little brother Clark, just like Swistle mentioned…. they go so well together! Love all your name options. I’m sure you’ll find the perfect one.
Would love to know girl names that go good with Petersen too! Having a girl in July and we spell our name and the exact same way!