My husband and I are expecting our third and last child in January. We have 2 boys – Brady Mills and Walker Lee. Brady’s middle name is my maiden name, and Walker’s middle name is my middle name. We all use my husband’s surname, Kershmen. We are not finding out the gender of this baby until he/she is born.
For a boy we have settled on Davis Blake (Blake is my husband’s middle name and is what he goes by).
The girl name is trickier. Since we got pregnant with our first child we have loved the name Mila Blake and that is what we have always called our future imaginary daughter. The problem is, we like the pronunciation Myla, but the spelling/look of Mila. I have just now realized that naming a kid ‘x’ and asking people to pronounce it ‘y’ might be crazy. I like ‘Meela’ but it doesn’t make me feel the way ‘Myla’ does. But I’m totally out on spelling it Myla.
Other names we are now considering, all with Blake as a middle name:
Cora
Taylor
Mara
Claire (would have to find a different middle name for this one)What are your thoughts? Do we need to let Mila go and come up with something else? Any other name suggestions?
Thanks!
My first thought was that it would be okay: I was remembering when names such as Mia first started coming into style, and people were wondering if it was MEE-a or MY-a, and it all worked out fine in the end. My second thought was “…But now we all know it’s MEE-a.”
I looked Mila up in a couple baby name books, just in case MY-la was offered as an alternate pronunciation, but no. I’m sure there ARE Milas out there pronounced MY-la (just as there are probably Mias pronounced MY-a), but if I encountered one, I would get that little eep feeling of wondering if that was on purpose or if the parents saw the name in writing and guessed wrong on the pronunciation. If I were a Mila pronounced Myla, I would get very tired of correcting people.
Here I was going to say that on the other hand, the name was not so common that it would be a constant issue. Then I looked up its current popularity and was surprised to find that, according to the Social Security Administration, Mila was the 14th most popular girl name in the U.S. in 2018. Well. That does change things for me.
I am not the name police and I am not the boss of you, but you have asked for my own opinion on this, and my own opinion is that no, you should not name her Mila and ask for it to be pronounced Myla. I think your choices are: (1) spell it Myla or (2) choose something else. (But I am bearing in mind that there is a third choice: saying “Heck with that, we’re doing what we want.”)
Looking at your list of other options, I wonder if you have already considered and rejected Clara: it’s like Cora plus Claire minus needing to find a different middle name. Clara Kershmen; Clara Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Clara.
Similar to Myla, I wonder if you’d like Lila. (If you are feeling it’s unfair that Lila looks just like Mila and yet they do not rhyme, I am with you and you have my sympathy.) Lila Kershmen; Lila Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Lila.
Let’s keep going with rhymes. Twila is pretty and underused. Twila Kershmen; Twila Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Twila.
Or Isla. Isla Kershmen; Isla Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Isla.
Maybe Dahlia or Delia? I recently encountered Delia in the wild and liked it more than I’d realized I would. Delia Kershmen; Delia Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Delia.
Or Maya. Maya Kershmen; Maya Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Maya.
Or Nadia. Nadia Kershmen; Nadia Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Nadia.
Or Ivy. Ivy Kershmen; Ivy Blake Kershmen; Brady, Walker, and Ivy.
Name update:
Hey Swistle,
Thanks to you and your readers for all the comments and name suggestions. I read through them several times throughout my pregnancy. In the end, we welcomed a precious boy and our indecision on a girl’s name did not matter! Here is our third boy, Davis Blake. We are in love <3
Or Maia instead of the suggested Maya! Has the same sound as Myla, plus the “i”.
I agree with Swistle, for two reasons:
1. We are in a season where quite a lot of names like Mila/Myla are popular, and deliberate vowel choices are how we minimize confusion for people like my poor parents, who mix up Lila and Layla and Maya and Mia all the time. If it were not a very popular name, your daughter could define her own pronunciation when she introduces herself, but that is not the case—people will be looking deliberately for clues about which of other similar names they know to associate it with.
2. You are clearly a person with deeply felt preferences on spelling and pronunciation. Hence, the spelling Myla does not appeal but Mila does, and you prefer the long I sound to the long E sound—though all four combinations are seemingly so similar. I feel your pain! Those are four very different names to me, too (Mila pronounced My-la, Myla pronounced Me-la, etc.). There are lots of us like this, I think. But then you are probably also sympathetic that many of us would feel some cognitive dissonance at being introduced to Mila pronounced My-la. I know that I personally would use mnemonics that incorporated the “wrongness” of the spelling to remember to get it right, though of course that is subjective.
I think you are probably thinking it could work because of the name Milo, but the existence of the pronunciation used by Mila Jovovich and Mila Kunis negates that reverence point, I think.
Could you be talked into Myla? There’s a cool author named Myla Goldberg who gave me a new view of the name.
Scratch that–just discovered that Jovovich’s name is Milla!
I agree that you shouldn’t use Mila pronounced Myla, only because I think she would have to correct people all day every day. I really like the suggestion of Maya, though I think you may not like the ‘y’ in there since you don’t like it with Myla. However, I feel like you may never top Mila/Myla if you try to find something similar in sound and that you may have to go for something completely different. The first names that came to mind were Riley, Piper, Kendall and Brooklyn (I love the alliteration with Blake).
From someone with a name that gets misspelled and mispronounced all the time I would say don’t use Mila unless you’re very aware and ok with correcting people her whole life.
Even if unfair I really like Swislte recommendation of Lila.
What about Maila or Milah? You’ll probably still get mispronunciations, but there won’t be that ‘eep’ feeling Swistle describes.
I went to college with a Maila (pronounced Myla), so it exists in the world!
I’m sure that these folks are both lovely and that this is a legitimate name, but FYI it completely reads Mail-a to me (probably because of the word “mail”) so I think that she might also have to always be correcting this one!
I think you all must live in a different area of the country from me, because I know of at least one baby named Mila pronounced my-lah, and would never have thought it was pronounced mee-lah until Swistle said so. The SS charts only list spelling, not pronunciation, and I’d bet some of those babies are pronounced my- lah. I say if you love it, go for it!
This is an interesting point! The question implies that the letter writer herself probably lives where Mila is pronounced Mee-lah, but it’s worth considering that this may not always be the case, and likely will not always be the case for the kid!
Same!
I was 100% going “it’s not said my-lah?!” the whole post!
What about spelling it Milah? I know 2 little girls here in Australia who spell it this way and both pronounce it Myla. I also know a Mila, who pronounces it Meela.
Not sure if adding the ‘h’ changes it where you live but it definitely does here in oz.
BTW…I LOVE the name Milah Blake!
Good Luck x
I agree with Swistle on this one. I think Mila pronounced Myla would lead to a lot of frustration on your daughter’s behalf. My name is a name that has many different sound alikes and look alikes and I find it exhausting to constantly have to correct people on the spelling or pronunciation.
If not Mila/Myla how about Eliza? Eliza, Brady, and Walker. Eliza Blake is very sweet and spunky. This gives you the spelling you prefer with the pronunciation you like best but with no need for explanation/clarification like Mila called Myla would. I think it would be a nice option.
I honestly thought Mila was pronounced like Maya with a L, because of Milo and Miley.
If pronunciation issues bother you, just choose the spelling Myla, or name your daughter Lila instead. Lila Blake is gorgeous.
But to me it wouldn’t be a major problem, I would simply say “Mila, just like Milo, but a girl!”
Also, I love how you incorporate your own names into your kids’ names :)
I also only recently learned that Mila was pronounced Mee-lah. When I read it I still assume it’s My-la even though I know it’s not usually. It’s a name I’ve never come across in real life, so I’m also suprised that it’s so popular. Anyway, because it’s fairly rare where Iive (American midwest), I think around here it would be ok to pronounce it My-la, but you would sometimes have to correct people anyway.
Never mind. I just looked and it’s number 11 in my state. I guess just not in my neighborhood…
Seconding forget_why’s suggestion of Maila (or would people think that was ‘Mayla’?) or Milah.
(Just as a data point, I am familiar with the ‘Meela’ pronunciation of Mila because of Kunis, and I would be surprised to meet a ‘Myla’ who spelled it that way.)
This reminds me of a Kayla (pronounced Kyla) I knew who constantly had to correct every teacher who called attendance. This was in an age when Kayla (with the mainstream pronunciation) was popular. Mila (Mee-la) is common where I live and I even know a toddler Margaret with Mila as a nickname. So I feel like she would have to correct people a lot. Also…Mila Kunis.
Milah might be a better spelling for the pronunciation you want if you want to avoid the y alternative. Cora is my favorite from the original list. Have you thought of using Blake as a first name?
I once met a second-grade Ava who insisted her name was pronounced Eva.
She looked foolish.
When her mother called her “Eva”, the teacher asked, “Oh, did you decide you didn’t like Ava?”.
The mom assured the teacher that’s how Ava was pronounced… “Eva”.
Everyone in the room was embarrassed for the mom.
This situation brought that memory back to the surface.
I agree with Swistle. There are many other lovely names out there!
Congrats and best wishes!
This is so confusing to me… I know Eva in Spanish is pronounced like “Ava” in English (Ay-va), but the other way around?!
In Spanish, Eva is “Eh-va”, rather than “Ee-va” or “Ay-va” or “Ah-va,” though mileage may vary depending on the Spanish accent 😅. And it might be closer to Eh-va in another language. That said, if you are a native English speaker, and you pronounce a name that is common in an English speaking area a different way than the common pronunciation, backing it up with “that’s the (French/Italian/Spanish/wherever you got it from) way to say it” helps 1) others remember how to say it and 2) gets them over the mind hang-up of the “wrongness” or cognitive dissonance between how it looks and how it sounds.
My name is French and so the pronunciation does not match the spelling, nor when I was growing up was it common, and I found the simple explanation of “it’s French” very useful.
This made me giggle aloud and wake my husband. Thanks for sharing!
I remember someone telling me about an acquaintance who named their daughter Mila, but pronounced it like “Mewa” in the Polish way, I believe? We do not really live in an area with a large Polish population. So honestly, if you just love it and cannot imagine anything else, go for it. There will always be kids who have to explain things, and an i vs y sound isn’t that much to explain. I personally know someone who purposely called both her kids their middle names from birth. This is something I don’t understand, but to each their own!
Swistle does offer some good alternates, and I find it interesting that adding an h on the end casts enough doubt on the pronunciation that people would at least ask and not assume.
It seems that I can finally be an expert on some topic in here! :)
Mila in Polish is pronounced “Meela”. “Mewa” makes me think that this girl’s name was actually Miła (which sounds just like you describe it) rather than Mila. (“L” in Polish is pronounced the same way as in English, while “Ł” sounds like English “W”.)
Miła literally means “nice” or “loved one” (derived from the word “miłość” = love) and although I’ve never met (or even heard of) anyone named just Miła, it is a part of some traditional Slavic “conjoined” names like Bogumiła (Bóg = God) or Ludmiła (lud = people).
And since both Mila Kunis and Milla Jovovich apparently have Ukrainian roots, I suppose that their names have a very similar meaning to Polish Mila/Miła.
Side note: There’s also male name “Miłosz” which has the same origins and is quite popular here (we have a 2-year-old baby Miłosz in a family, and I also went to school with a boy named Miłosz [so he will be 32 now]). It can also serve as a surname, e.g. Czesław Miłosz.
Yay! This is very cool, thank you. We live in the Midwest US, so I would venture to guess almost no one knows this.
Thanks, you’re welcome :)
Funny thing is that although in Polish Mila (used as a nickname for Milena, Kamila or Emilia) is indeed pronounced “Meela”, I always though that English speakers pronounce Mila just the same as Myla… (I even pronounced Mila Kunis’ name “Myla” – apparently wrongly!) Oh, well.
So, I definitely wouldn’t be surprised when meeting a girl named Mila who pronounces her name “Myla”.
Some other names that for some reason make me think of Mila:
Livia
Willa
Lena
Celia
Nella
Kira/Keira
Sonia
Bianca
Opal
Aida
Stella/Estella
Nina
And I think that Swistle’s suggestions of Clara and Isla are great, as well as other commenter’s idea of Maia (which was also my initial thought).
Willa would be our #1 choice except we named our dog that 6 years ago. Why?!!
That’s a pity! Maybe Rilla could be an option?
Rilla Blake Kershmen would also sound nice; Brady, Walker & Rilla.
Huh, I’ve always pronounced Mila like Myla, although I admittedly don’t know any in my real life. So I honestly wouldn’t have a hard time remembering the pronunciation. However, if you are in an area or crowd that would constantly mispronounce it, and that will bother you, then I’d recommend picking something else. (Also your daughter could chose to re-pronounce or re-spell).
(I grew up with a friend named Megan whose mother named her “May-gan” and she ended up being Meg-an to everyone but her mom.).
In the rhymes with category, how about Delilah?
My son goes to school with a little girl from Germany named Maila, pronounced Myla. I also know a Mai pronounced My. I like the look of Maila way better than Myla and it seems to be a legitimate way to spell the pronunciation you want.
I know she does get May-la sometimes, but lots of names need a quick clarification nowadays and in this case she would just be explaining the correct way to pronounce her name, not having to explain why she wants an already-agreed-upon name to be pronounced differently.
Add me to the list of people who didn’t ever know it was “supposed to be” pronounced “Myla.” When I see “Mila” I have always thought it had the long-I sound. I even know a Mila who pronounces it that way. I thought that was “the way.”
* didn’t know it WASN’T supposed to be pronounced Myla, I mean, of course.
No, please don’t give your daughter a currently popular name with a famous namesake (Kunis) and then expect people to use a different pronunciation. It’s not fair to her, who wants to go through life with people saying their name wrong/having to constantly correct people?
Perhaps try writing Myla, looking and reading about famous Mylas, and just see if you can get used to the correct spelling for the name you actually want? Maybe exposure will help you overcome whatever hesitations you have?
Otherwise, I think you need to look ok for another name. You have some nice options on your list (I agree about Clara in place of Claire). Swistle also suggested some great sound alikes if you want something similar to Myla.
Agree with Swistle. I know a Mila pronounced Myla and her mom has voiced regrets several times over the years…even before it became so popular.
Lila does seem to be the natural next choice and I do think it works very well with your boys’ names and the middle name. I also *love* Ivy Blake if that were to appeal.
My grandmother’s name was Meila and pronounced My-la. It’s of Lithuanian origin. Just a thought!
Mila is one of those names that make me pause to consider the pronunciation, but my default is Meela too. But I have this issue with Lila too which I am clearly pronouncing wrong as mine is neither eee nor eye but and ih sound. So. I am no expert on this by any means.
My only point is how many people do you meet infrequently yet actually know how to write your name? Banks, doctors, schools, and telemarketers. Other people will hear your name first then see it written after they already know how to pronounce your name. Point being. Names are getting more diverse so people will get more tolerant in their pronunciations at the same time as the written spelling often comes secondary to the spoken version.
Nonetheless, if it is going to irk you everytime your daughter’s names is said, you need a new name. Stat. I think Swistle had some awesome options above.
I have 10 year old named Mila (Meela) and she is constantly called Myla. So whatever you decide, your kid will be called the wrong name by somebody.
I’d say don’t do it – but I’m biased because I have a good friend named Myla, so that’s how that pronunciation is spelled in my head.
From the other options, I like Mara or Lila (could also spell it Lilah). Mara is a pretty, underused name and I like the nickname Mari.
I love the name Twyla, but the spelling Twila looks weird to me. I also like Nadia and Dahlia a lot.
Other ideas:
Amara
Marina
Maren/Marin
Marisa
Margot/Margo
Talia
Daria
Naia/Naya/Nya
Marla
Orla
Selah/Sela
Lana
Luna
Nora/Norah
This is a bit random but if you love the name what about Misla? At least she can say Isla with an M. It would make people ask instead of assuming :)
I didn’t even know until reading this that Mila is usually pronounced like Meela! But then again, I don’t know any Milas, so if you live in an area where it’s a common name I could see this being more of an issue. That said, I wouldn’t consider it a deal-breaker if it’s your absolute favorite otherwise.
For what it’s worth, I know a Hannah who pronounces her name like HAH-nah (rhymes with Donna), and a Diana who pronounces her name like dee-AH-na (rhymes with Tiana, like the Disney princess). As far as I know, it isn’t a major inconvenience for either of them, but they do have to correct people a lot.
Maybe I’m in the minority here, but I don’t really see a problem with naming a daughter Mila pronounced Myla. I grew up in the 80s with multiple friends named Tara (rhymes with Clara) and one Tara (pronounced Tah-rah). I know many little girls these days named Ava (Ay-va) and one Ava (Ah-va). And although these were/are very popular names it never seemed like a big deal to the girls so named, their parents, or to other people.
If Mila is what you love and how you think of your girl-baby already, then name her Mila.
Same! To me this is a toMAYto toMAHto situation. Neither is wrong.
Name her Mila. Tell people it’s pronounce MY-lah!
I second the suggestion of “Meila”!
Just here to say how much I love Swistle’s suggestion of Ivy! Ivy Blake, swoon!
I think a lot of this boils down to your own attitude. There is a very real chance that 98% of the times someone reads your daughter’s name aloud they will say it the dominant way. That will include: doctor’s offices, school administrators, journalists, employment interviews etc for her whole life.
If you are the type of person who can just shrug this off or correct it politely, and raise your daughter to do the same, then this isn’t an issue. It would be the same experience that lots of immigrants have with their names. If however, you are the type of person to make a fuss/rudely correct others or worse INSIST that your way is actually the correct way please don’t do it. This will be embarrassing for your daughter and can cause others to see her negatively.
My personal anecdata: Since naming my daughter I have realised that there are three ways people say her name, we have taken the approach that this is a lovely feature of her name and rather than correct people just answer to whatever they use. She has continued with this. My thought is that names are supposed to facilitate relationships not create barriers when we first meet someone.
Coming back, because I just realized: be aware that the dominant pronunciation can change! I know two thirty-ish women named Anna. One pronounces it An-nah, the other Ah-nah. The second of course had all the trouble growing up: “No, it’s Ah-nah, that’s the (parental ethnic) pronunciation.” Then Frozen came out, and now the An-nah is needing to say “No, I pronounce it the other way!” ;-D
Hey, I did this to my now-twelve year old kid! We named him Zain but it rhymes with “again” not with “pain.” We had a perfectly acceptable and pronounceable alternative, Zen, but felt strongly about not using that spelling of the name. We’re an interracial/intercultural/immigrant couple but neither of us is east Asian so it just felt like it muddied already muddy waters. And honestly that’s how most Muslims spell the name but they don’t all pronounce it that way. Arabs will make it rhyme with pain, most South Asians will make it rhyme with again. We had a conversation about it in the hospital and thought the spelling was more important than having to correct people. I will say that we greatly underestimated how often we’d have to correct people. We knew it’d be a lot, maybe even most, but it really is literally ALL of the time, every bit. I will say that has become an interesting litmus test though, of the kind of person someone is (how close of a friend is this, or does this middle school teacher make an effort to get names correct, for example) and an instant show of intimacy (personalized backpacks were never a concern because no stranger’s going to shout my kid’s name right after reading it for the first time and convince him to get into his serial-killer-van.) We are the type that just corrects politely most of the time, but not if it doesn’t matter at all, like at flu shot clinic where we’ll never see that nurse again. I try to be a bit firm about it at the beginning of what I know will be an extended relationship, just because I don’t want to set off on a long thing of well, now when exactly do I correct their mispronunciation? So at the beginning of every school year I’m a little prickly with new teachers. I joked that since he was starting middle school with all new teachers he should go on the first day with a shirt that read “Zain like Again” and he DID! A friend helped us make it. But then it seems that shirt has become a pajama-only shirt, soooo……I dunno exactly how he feels about it. I often joke that our son will either just go by “Zain-rhymes-with-pain” as an adult or legally change the spelling of his name to Zen. Right now he balks at those suggestions but he’s twelve, and I’ve clearly laid out those things as options to him, so we just have to wait and see what his budding adult personality dictates. I assume you can’t wait that long.
As a teacher, I think I would ask before pronouncing this name. Whenever I see in on popular name lists I think…and how do you pronounce that again? I know a Myla and many girls named Kya, Mya, Rya….but no Mila/Mee-la’s. If you love it and don’t mind correcting people, go for it!