Hi Swistle – I’m a long-time reader and a name nerd for as long as I can remember. I’m due in early April. We don’t know the sex, but we already have a girl name picked out (Len@ Gr@ce), in honor of my husband’s grandmother. Our last name is one syllable; it sounds like “rush” with a P in front of it.
We’re having trouble with boy names. My husband and I have very different tastes, with a few random exceptions. My style is perhaps best described as middle-aged man names, preferably with cute nicknames (Gerald/Jerry, Henry/Hank, Francis/Frankie, Carl, Dean, Russel/Russ, Charles/Chaz). I want to use Francis Xavier, in honor of my grandfather, and also just because I really love the name.
However, my husband really dislikes Francis/Frankie, although he does like Xavier. His other favorites: Octavius, Cassius, Casimir, Ax.
There is one name we both love: Thomas/Tommy. Here’s the catch: we already have a 2-year-old son named Jerry (Ger@ld J0seph).
So what do you think – can we use Thomas? Normally, I’d agree with the majority of the people I’ve polled already, and say absolutely not. However, we’ve always loved it; we think it’s perfect, style-wise, with Jerry, and it seems silly to rule out a name based on something that might only be an issue for the relatively short period of our lives when the two kids are always together. I also wondered who even watches that cartoon anymore, but apparently there have been several reboots over the years, with new episodes as recently as 2018.
I myself have raised an eyebrow at less-egregious sibling name pairs. Am I setting us up to be laughed at? I want 4 kids, and I realize it’d be better to wait and use Tommy for the third or fourth, when there would be another kid in-between to water down the association. I’d really appreciate a fresh perspective and your unbiased advice on this dilemma.
If you have any suggestions of other names we might like, we’re all ears! We both like Henry/Hank, but I’m hesitant to use it, only because if my husband ever comes around to Frankie for a future child, we definitely couldn’t use it if we already have a Hank.
Thanks in advance!
I think this is the sort of thing where you might decide to avoid Tom/Jerry as an impossible combination, but I also think you could choose to just LEAN INTO it: use the names and shrug cheerfully and enjoy the coincidence. I’m glad you’re considering having more children, because I think you might want more time to think about which way to go, and it’s nice to know this probably isn’t your only chance. My personal hope is that this baby will be a girl, postponing the decision and adding a spacer-name at the same time.
It would probably sacrifice the name Henry, but would you like the name Harvey? I love it with your naming style, and it avoids the Hank/Frank problem. One issue is that there isn’t a natural nickname for it.
One of my kids has a friend named Johnny, a surprisingly fresh-sounding option, though probably too similar to Jerry.
Another name in that category is Robert/Robbie: I find I’m ready to hear it again. Gerald and Robert; Jerry and Robbie.
Or Edward/Eddie/Ted/Ned. Gerald and Edward; Jerry and Eddie.
Similar enough to Thomas/Tommy that you have likely already considered it: Timothy/Timmy. Gerald and Timothy; Jerry and Timmy.
I love the name Carl, and even more spelled Karl. I want to talk your husband into using it.
I recently heard of the nickname Hodge used for the name Roger, and it made me see the name with new eyes. Gerald and Roger; Jerry and Hodge. I don’t know if I like Roger with your surname, though; it feels a little difficult to say.
I love Albert and Alfred, with the nickname Al for either, or else Bertie/Freddie. Gerald and Albert; Jerry and Bertie. Gerald and Alfred; Gerald and Freddie.
We had Alan on our boy-name list. Gerald and Alan; Jerry and Al.
Are we ready to hear Howard again? Gerald and Howard; Jerry and Howie.
Or Leonard? Gerald and Leonard; Jerry and Lenny.
I am ready to hear Douglas again. Gerald and Douglas; Jerry and Doug. Not sure about it with the surname.
One of my favorite retro nicknames for Charles is Chip. Gerald and Charles; Jerry and Chip.
There was a Beverly Cleary book called Fifteen that I must have read a dozen times as a youngish teenager. The cute boy in that book is named Stan, forever influencing my opinion of that name. Gerald and Stanley; Jerry and Stan.
The show Everybody Loves Raymond, and the actor Ray Romano, influenced my opinion of that name. Gerald and Raymond; Jerry and Ray.
Name update:
Thank you all for your input and well-thought our suggestions and advice!!
We ended up having a boy (just as I suspected), and named him Francis Xavier! We call him Frankie!
Jerry loves his “Baby Frankie” And is adjusting well to sharing his mommy and daddy and to bring a big brother!
Some might consider this too close, but my favourite name of the style you are describing is Gordon/Gordie.
I really love your naming style! Gerald/Jerry is so refreshing to hear. I also love Thomas/Tommy, but I don’t think it pairs super well with Gerald, especially with the cartoon connection. I think so many of Swistle’s suggestions are spot on, particularly Raymond, Howard and Karl. If your husband can get on board to your style, a few others sound great with Jerry to me: Paul nn Pauly, Stuart nn Stu, and Murphy or Murray, though neither has a nickname. Can’t wait to see what you choose should you have another son!
My first thought was “Tom & Jerry? No way!” But after that initial reaction I’m thinking “Why not?” Plus it’s technically Jerry & Tom in your case. I do think you would get some laughs and some people would be like “What were you thinking?!” But it’s a fun association, not a bad one. You could totally just go with it and even get them some cute Tom & Jerry themed shirts and toys.
My 11 year old son has a friend named Howard, who goes by Howie. It wears well. It was also the only boys name that repeated in their grade in Kindergarten. Two Howards, only one went by Howie. I was surprised by that repetition.
I have a Henry who does like the nickname Hank. I also have a George and he liked the nickname Georgie for awhile.
I know a 2 year old Charles that goes by Chuckie and he’s adorable. I do like Swistle’s suggestion of Chip though too. That’s adorable.
I think you can use Thomas for this baby if you avoid “Tom” for a while. When he is little, he can always go by Tommy (or Thomas), which I feel dilutes the association quite well.
I like a couple of Swistle’s suggestions, particularly Edward and Robert, although I love Robin nn. Robbie even more. If you went with Robert, Bobby would be a cute, old-fashioned nn. My favorite in this genre of name is Gilbert nn. Gil. Pairs so well with Gerald, too. However, all of the names that have been mentioned are in your style and not your husband’s style. If your only overlap is Thomas, it might end up being the best choice. I don’t think the children’s generation will know the association so teasing potential among peers will be low. The more I think about it, the more I hope you use it!
I’m not sure kids won’t know it. The new cartoons are on now, all my kids 4-13yrs know it. I asked what they thought and they said ‘no they are always fighting!’ :)
They all think Jerry and Tommy is ok. I don’t think they register Tom and Thomas as the same name. Kids!!
Martin/Marty?
I know siblings under 5 named Felix and Oscar. It gets mentioned once, and then people move on.
Another vote for Martin/Marty!
How about William/Billy? Gerald and William – Jerry and Billy!
I would lean heavily to a “no” for myself, but if the association doesn’t bother you, then go for it! I think most people will mention it to you when they hear their names “Oh, Tom and Jerry? How funny/cute/crazy!” And I also feel like even though they would only be Jerry and Tom for a short period of time during childhood that even adults they encounter in their careers later would pause upon learning that a Tom has a brother named Jerry.
If you go for it, I think as other mentioned, just lean in. I can picture some really cute Halloween costumes!
I LOVE the suggestion of Howard/Howie. I know a baby Howie and I think it works great. I also wonder if Andrew/Andy might work, or maybe Bernard/Bernie.
This is a great question! We have a little boy due this summer and your naming style is similar to ours so I’ll share some from my list!
We already have a Francis who we thought we would call Frankie but we call Fran instead. We also have a Maximilan who goes by Max.
Some from our list are:
Vincent (Vinnie or Vince)
John (Johnny)
Arthur (Art)
Raymond (Ray)
William (Will or possibly Billy?)
Bernard (Bernie)
Frederick (Freddie)
Walter (Walt, we don’t like Wally but others might!)
I can’t wait to hear what you choose!!
I came here to suggest Walter/Walt/Wally! So cute. And Walter Xavier isn’t a bad combo in my opinion!
I really like the idea of Francis/Fran. That is awesome. I’ve also heard of a Francis Xavier going by initials, FX, which I think is awesome.
I love Swistle’s suggestion of Harvey! And I agree that if Thomas is the name you and your husband both love and agree on, leaning in to the Tom and Jerry thing sounds like a good plan.
Some other suggestions:
– Walter/Wally. I have met two Walters in the past two years and it is such a surprising and pleasing name. Gerald and Walter, Jerry and Wally.
-Dashiell/Dash. Gerald and Dashiell, Jerry and Dash. (Not sure about Dash with the surname.)
– Augustus/Gus. Maybe this would bridge the gap between Middle Aged Man names and Ancient Romanesque names? Gerald and Augustus, Jerry and Gus. (Not sure about Gus with the surname, though.)
Or, likewise:
-Julian/Jules. Gerald and Julian. Jerry and Jules.
-Julius/Jules. Gerald and Julius, Jerry and Jules.
Or, with some similar sounds:
-Atticus/Ace. Gerald and Atticus. Jerry and Ace.
Congratulations!
I feel like the “us” sound is a big connected between your two naming styles. You’ve got Russell and like Thomas; he’s got Octavia’s and Cassius and also likes Thomas.
Gus seems like a sure fire nickname for you both-so you could back out to August, Augustus, Angus. Those might not be as classic middle-aged man as you like but they work! There’s also Silas, with Si as the nickname.
I also love Swistle’s suggestion of Harvey. I’ve always thought Hal is a great nickname for any of the classic Hs: Harvey, Harold, Henry. Jerry and Hal is fabulous.
If you were going to go to Tommy instead of Tom I think it would be fine because you would introduce them as Jerry and Tommy which doesn’t bring up the idea of Tom and Jerry to me.
I agree. And unless you are already committed to the J spelling, Gerry and Tommy doesn’t have the same eye jolt. (Admission: I had a terrible HS crush on a Gerry.)
Do you like Hugh?
Gerald and Hubert.
Jerry and Hugh.
Malcolm?
Gerald and Malcolm.
Jerry and Mac.
Best wishes!
I wonder if you might like Curtis/Curt — it shares the hard C sound and the “us” ending with some of your husband’s favorites and fits squarely with your midcentury style.
I like middle aged man names too! Many of my favorites have been suggested already (Hugh/Huey, Malcolm, Vincent, Walter, Stanley, Timothy). What about Warren, Victor, Frederick, Wilfred,? I already suggested my oldest and youngest sons’ names, how about the middle son’s name, Lee? Your husband might like it as a nickname for Leon (or Leonidas?). There are a bunch of suggestions for similar names under “Baby Boy Nordson”when I asked for help naming my youngest
I have a Frankie! Full name Francisco after his grandfather. Brother is Victor. Other names on our short list – Ruben (Spanish spelling), Alonzo (nn Lonnie), Evander and Oscar.
So, my first response was… “No, what?!”. But honestly, I’m old and actually watched Tom and Jerry. Most kids nowadays aren’t.
Meanwhile my kids are in school with 1 Elsa, 3 Annas, like 10 Jacks (some of whom go by Jack-Jack), 1 Dash, so many Sophias, …. Point being, cartoon characters names are everywhere. And if anything, their friends are jealous that they always get “dibs” on playing that character. Otherwise, the kids it doesn’t seem to care really.
So. Will your boys care if they are Tom and Jerry? Probably not. Will you care? Now that is a different question. Are you going to mutter Tom’s name under your breath when you introduce him because you are bracing for the reaction? If so, then find a new name. The good news is this is no longer about the name or your boys experience with it. It really is about you which is waaay easier to assess and control for.
I do agree that Jerry and Tommy sounds remarkably different from Tom and Jerry. So there is that option.
If you do decide you need to find a new name, there are some good suggestions above. One more idea is Tobias. It fits with Thomas, Francis, Russ, Octavius, and Cassius. And gets you to Toby. Jerry and Toby / Gerald and Tobias.
Congratulations on number two!
I think Gerry and Tom are totally fine. But it’s also a good idea to wait if you have other names in mind that could work. I like so many of these suggestions! I also want to add Winston.
Chester nm Chet is one of my favorites, maybe you’ll like it too!
I think it’s fine.
Dittoing the suggestions of
Augustus/Gus (Auggie?)
Silas or Cyrus / Si or Cy
I’d mention Lucius, nn Lou, but it’s the name of a villain in Harry Potter
Just chiming in to say I read “Fifteen” a bunch when I was in sixth grade!!! I remember the Stan character. I don’t recall much about it except there was nail polish and waiting for calls on the land line. To my twelve year old self it was riveting :)
Loved that book and read it several times as a teen. I recall Stan talking in Pig Latin to distract the kid Jane was babysitting who was threatening to pour ink on the floor, and Jane walking behind a huge bouquet of flowers to bring Stan at the hospital (feeling like she was in Birnam Wood in Macbeth), and getting the confidence to stop letting a snooty girl make her feel embarrassed or small.
I think Jerry, Len@ and Tommy would work, but I don’t think Jerry and Tommy would.
Old man names I’m liking at the moment are Marvin/Mervyn and Bernard. But it doesn’t sound like your husband likes old man names, so probably any name we could suggest along those lines would be rejected. It sounds like he likes Latin names, but most old man names I can think of are Germanic.
A couple of ideas:
Lucius nn Louie – Jerry & Louie (hmm maybe too much like Jerry Lewis now that I write it out)
Claudius nn Claude – Jerry & Claude
I’m also really liking the suggestion of Felix, and I think Rex would be good too – Jerry & Rex.
Good luck and please remember to update us.
My dad was one of seven. The last two wnt by Tom and jerrie. Though jerrie was a girl. They got the comment but it didn’t bother them
What about Clark? My 4 year old nephew is Clark and we all call him Clarkie (which I’m sure he’ll grow out of soon lol) but I think it pairs well with Jerry!
Another possible reference (that was the first thing came to my mind as a Midwesterner), Tom and Jerry the drink. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_and_Jerry_(drink) Not disqualifying in my book, but perhaps just good to be aware of!
My favorite old man name is Richard but I don’t see it as an old man name as much since my 15 year old is Richard who goes by Ricky. We do call him Rick sometimes but he actually prefers Ricky. We know several guys that are around the same age as his grandfather named Richard but he has always been the only Ricky/Rick/Richard in his grade and he goes to a larger high school. I think Gerald and Richard/ Jerry and Ricky/Richie. I also like the unusual Harrel nn Harry. It is a family name but I think it works. Good Luck!!!
Hello everyone- original poster here!
Thank you all for your input and well-thought our suggestions and advice!!
We ended up having a boy (just as I suspected), and named him Francis Xavier! We call him Frankie!
Jerry loves his “Baby Frankie” And is adjusting well to sharing his mommy and daddy and to bring a big brother!