Swistle,
We really need your help in thinking of a name for our son, who is due in a few weeks.
Our first son’s name is James Nolan, so ideally it would be a name that went with James (but what doesn’t?).
We are stuck between Ford, Shepard, and Elliot. Eliot is a family name – I always thought I would save it for a girl, but what if my third and fourth babies are boys as well?! Better to use it now? It’s my mother-in-law’s maiden name, who passed away, but we named James after her – so I don’t feel like I HAVE to do a double honor. I’d rather give my family a shout out since we did not for our first baby. The middle name we want to use would be to honor my beloved stepfather, whose name ironically is Richard Burton. So we could do Ford Richard, Shepard Burton, Elliot Burton…some cool options there with a name like that!!!
My problem is that this baby doesn’t really feel like any of those names. How do you name a baby if you can’t get a sense of their personality? Do we wait? I hate game time decisions.
Are there any names along those lines we should consider?
I’m fine with you putting our last name because as you can see – it’s a doozy. It rhymes with HELLO.
Any help you could give that could help us name this baby before we enter divorce court (my husband suggested the name Doug last night. DOUG. Which is lovely but not the name of my child)….would be so appreciated!
Let’s look at each of the three options with the older brother’s name:
James and Ford
James and Shepard
James and Elliot
To me, Elliot is the most natural fit of the three: Ford and Shepard both look to me like jumps away from James in style and popularity (though definitely not style clashes). But if you think you’d be considering names more like Ford and Shepard for all the rest of the children, then I don’t want to make any effort to bring you away from that. Elliot would make a nice bridge name: a James, then an Elliot, then on to Ford and then Shepard.
I found when I was proof-reading that I had a change of mind on Ford: it fits well with James, I think, but changes the spin. James and Elliot are two classic gentlemen names. James and Ford are two one-syllable surname names. But I am not sure about Ford with the surname: not only do the -d/D- sounds bump/blend into each other, but it made me think of the possibly-too-obscure-to-matter word “bordello.” I notice Shepard, too, has the -d/D- issue. Even Elliot has a similar issue: the -t/D- does something similar when I say the name aloud. I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker, but it’s something I like to think about ahead of time.
I think I might like to see what other end-letters do with the surname. The -s (-z) of James is nice with it. Charles would be similarly nice. But I am not as drawn to a soft -s such as Thomas or Louis: the soft -s starts sliding into that D- to make a -st- sound.
Henry would be nice. Henry Burton Dall-low.
Or Philip. Philip Richard Dall-low.
Wait, is the name more like DELL-lo or more like dell-LO? It occurs to me that I’ve been saying DELL-lo, but that dell-LO is more likely. If the emphasis is on the first syllable, I find some names have a whimsical bouncing rhythm: Simon DELL-lo, for example, is the rhythm and sound of limoncello or lemon Jell-o. But if it’s more like Simon dell-LO, it loses nearly all the whimsy. Caleb DELL-lo is a little bit funny for a reason I have yet to put a finger on, but Caleb dell-LO is nice. And Ford dell-LO is not nearly as close to bordello as is Ford DELL-lo. And even a lot of the -d/D- and -t/D- and soft -s issues are considerably lessened if the rhythm is dell-LO: I go from thinking Louis DELL-o is not great to thinking Louis dell-LO is pretty terrific. Which makes me think it is probably dell-LO. And also the more I look at the three options, the more I think all three go well with James.
Well. I should probably delete everything and re-write, but instead I will soldier on and put down some more names I think sound nice with at least one version of DELL-lo/dell-LO.
Alexander
Anderson
Benjamin
Calvin
Clark
Frederick
George
Grant (-t/D-)
Ian
John
Louis
Oliver
Paul
To help decide whether to use Elliot for a boy or for a girl, I’d look at your other girl-name options: if you were to have two girls after two boys, what sorts of girl names would be on your list? Elliot is a unisex name with usage currently leaning more heavily towards boys in the U.S.; here are the 2017 numbers from the Social Security Administration:
Eliette: 50F
Eliot: 32F, 173M
Eliott: 72M
Elliette: 104F
Elliot: 493F, 2416M
Elliott: 575F, 2421M
Elliotte: 56F
Are your other girl-name options similar to Elliot? That is, do they lean toward Harper and Avery, Quinn and Riley? Or are your other options more like Margaret and Katherine, or Amelia and Charlotte, or Penelope and Cecily? If I think of siblings named James, Ford, Elliot, and Cecily, I assume James, Ford, and Elliot are boys; if I think instead of siblings named James, Ford, Elliot, and Quinn, I know I need more information before I can make a guess.
Name update:
Swistle, thank you so much for your help! Your readers’ input really helped us name our sweet boy, who came on December 12th! This is Ford Richard :)
He has such a stoic, sweet personality – Ford was the perfect name for him.
I think Lucas would be great.
Oh my goodness, so many good suggestions! I love all your favorites and am in love with Swistle’s suggestion of Phillip.
But… I really, really want to persuade you to use Burton as the first name. To me, it goes well with James, sounds lovely with your surname, and gives equal billing to honor names. Plus, any of your other favorites sound nice as middle names: Burton Ford Dall-low, Burton Shepherd Dall-low, Burton Eliot Dall-low. James and Burton. Jimmy and Burt.
This is funny because I was coming along to suggest Richard as a first name. Burton never even occurred to me, but now I think both would be good options
Richard Dall-low, James and Richard. This works for me in a kings of England kind of way.
I was coming to suggest Richard as well. I have a 14 year old Richard who goes by Rick(y). It’s a name everyone knows but he is generally the only Rick in a group. At least his age. There are several Rick’s and Richards in our church but all of them are middle age or older. I think it goes well with James and Elliott if you want to use it later. I think it works well with any of your names as a middle name Richard Ford, Richard Shepard, Richard Elliott
I, too, came on to recommend Burton. Our neighbor has a little two-year-old Burton. She used her maiden name as the first name. Like all names, once it is worn by a person (in this case and dapper little man with huge brown eyes), it feels more like a name. I really like James and Burton together. That also opens up the middle spot for a name that you just love, since the honor part is done.
A short list of 3 names is very reasonable to wait til little babe is here to see what he owns. Unlike Swistle my fav of your 3 top choices is Shepherd!
I also think Richard could be a good choice though! Family name and the sound is so close to Ford and Shepard.
I love the suggestions of Clark and Grant as well.
A few other names that came to mind for you that all have crisp sound:
Grantham
Reid
Clint / Clinton
Preston
Vaughn
Curtis
Bryn
Mark
I love Shepard! I like Elliot so much more for a boy than a girl, so I vote use it now if you love it.
My favorite suggestion for you is Theodore. Theo or Teddy would both be great.
What about:
Porter
Luke
Callum
Grant
James and Reed/Reid would be great together! Good suggestion!
Reed/Reid Burton
What about Miles? I love James and Miles as brother names. Miles Richard or Miles Burton are both so nice!
Shepard is my favorite from your list!
Archer or William?
Good Luck!
Burton is adorable. And even has a nickname – Bertie! I would use Ford as the middle name.
I agree that 3 names is not too long of a list. We liked to have at least 2 when heading to the hospital; the assumed name and a backup in case we took one look and decided he/she just didn’t suit the assumed name. Out of 4 babies, only one made us reconsider and use a different name.
Without considering the surname I thought Ford went best with James. I felt a bit of a Jesse James/Cowboy vibe from that pairing. If that’s something you like could you expand on that theme a little? (I feel like Shepherd might fit that category too). What about Austin? James and Austin.
I know a little boy named Douglas… and it suits him. It has a Scottish aristocratic air I think. Actually if your hubby likes that style what about Angus? Angus puts a cool Mary Queen of Scots spin on James.
If you do plan 4 kids you could save Elliott over for a girl, twice more before you would be pushed to use it for the hypothetical fourth boy. Beware though. From my experience it takes time to have four kids and in that time your tastes change as do name trends. Say it takes another 6 years to get to baby number four and the Ellie names will have been big for quite some time at that point. That was my experience with my unused ‘Evie’ name that felt very fresh for baby number one who arrived 9 years before baby number four was finally a girl. YMMV on that one.
So interesting- I think of Ford and James as both being tailored and preppy. I also came to endorse Ford but for a very different reason!
I love the suggestion of Miles! Whether or not you use it for this baby or not, you should keep that on your list.
I love James, Shepherd, Elliot and Miles together especially. It read “sophisticated western” to me.
I wanted to respond to this “My problem is that this baby doesn’t really feel like any of those names. How do you name a baby if you can’t get a sense of their personality? Do we wait? I hate game time decisions.”
Sometimes I wonder if it is a second child thing, or a second child of the same sex have a perfect name for opposite sex, but I kept spinning around this exact same question with my second girl. And to be honest, I never found a name that felt like HER. Instead, we went with the name we would have most regretted not using. Does it feel like her perfect sparkly amazing fits like a second skin name? No. (And it’s 5 years later.). Yet I am still glad we used it, and so far she seems to like it. And I admit that I never felt like my name was perfect for me, and toyed with changing it but never did. I guess I just figure that sometimes things aren’t perfect, but that name is mine, even imperfectly.
So. If you don’t have a name that feels like your son, then use the name you would regret not using, if you never got the chance again. And good luck!
(I love Burton btw.)
Thank you so, so much Swistle and Co.! This was incredibly helpful – we never thought of Burton as a first name! I’m printing this all out and bringing it with me to the hospital. Thank you so much!!