Dear Swistle,
I am currently 20 weeks pregnant and due in September so this question is not urgent by any means but it’s something that has been weighing on my mind ever since we found out I was carrying a girl a few months ago.
We currently have an almost 2 year old son named Jameson Penn who we call both James and Jameson interchangeably. A little back story with the name; my dad’s first name is James, my father-in-law’s middle name is James and my husband’s middle name is James. I love that we were able to choose a classic name with a modern twist that covered three important men in his life.
We’ve always been on the same page with boy’s names and prefer strong surnames with special meaning behind it. If this baby had been another boy we would have most likely gone with Campbell or Maxwell with the middle name Christopher.
Here is our dilemma with naming a girl. I remember reading on here once that you have an issue with parents who name their boys strong, masculine names and their girls frilly names (worded differently of course.) I found out recently that my husband has an even stronger opinion about this issue ever since he talked to a higher up in his company with a “frilly” girl name. My husband works as a research scientist for a well know pharmaceutical company in a very male-dominated field. This person he spoke with goes by the name of Ann but recently confided in him that her first name is actually Daisy. She decided later in life (in her 40s) to go by her middle name because she was tired of introducing herself as Daisy at meetings or presentations and felt she wasn’t taken seriously by her male colleagues.
For the longest time, I’ve had our girl name picked out. The first name would be Tilly, after one of my favorite characters in a book and the name of my husband’s grandma, and her middle name Juliette after my mother-in-law. My MIL’s full name is Julie Jeanette so we just combined it into Juliette for her honor name. I was quickly turned down when I brought this name up to my husband after finding out we’re having a girl however and I have to admit that it does sound like a little girl’s name after thinking it through. Neither of us like the full name Matilda to get the nickname so it is officially off the table. But now we are having the hardest time finding a name that isn’t too girly or “silly” but that we still both like. I’m finding I tend to like girlier names but I understand the dilemma of her needing to “grow into it”, something I never even thought of when we were pregnant with our son. Now when I try on a new name, I picture an adult woman at an interview or giving a presentation and I don’t want her feeling silly with that name or resentful.
I recently fell in love with the name Annabelle and my husband admits he likes it and she can always go by Ann or Anna when she is older if she prefers, but we are still unsure if it falls into the “frilly” category. My mother’s middle name is Ann so I love the idea of having another child that covers both grandmas like our son covers both grandpas. However, Annabelle Juliette sounds VERY girly and froufrou to me but I haven’t found a close contender that I like nearly as much.
We’ve thought about naming her Juliette as the first name but my husband’s name is Jeremy and I hate the idea of being the only non-J name in the family. Jeremy, Jameson and Juliette. We have to use Juliette as the middle name as we’ve already told my MIL that we would be honoring her with this granddaughter and I can’t go back on that now.
What are your thoughts on this? Are we overthinking it too much? Should we just completely start over from scratch and only consider more serious names? Does this put too much pressure on her someday to be a professional when maybe she’ll want to be a dancer or a stay at home mom like I currently am when she’s older?
Our last name is a very short, harsh-sounding German name that is a combination of Trout and Trash so I would like the first name to be at least two syllables for a better flow. We tend to like classic, more traditional names that aren’t trendy or can be dated too much. Other than that, we are pretty flexible with styles.
I promise to send an update and a picture when baby girl arrives.
Thanks in advance!
You are remembering correctly that I can get a bit of a bee in my bonnet on this issue. Frilly and girly I don’t mind: frilly and girly can be words people use to mean Very Feminine, and there’s not a thing wrong with being Very Feminine. But I do mind when names for sons are chosen to be solid and dignified and important, and then names for daughters are lightweight and insubstantial and cute—and particularly if it seems important to give the sons honor names, but doesn’t seem equally as important to do so with the daughters.
So I am absolutely on-board with Annabelle Juliette. It is indeed a very feminine name, and so a person might use the words frilly or girly to describe it—but it is in no way lightweight or insubstantial, and you are using honor names just as you did for your son. And it’s a flexible name, nickname-wise, giving her lots of options for later on. Clearly no parent should feel they ought to put “Pleasing Swistle” on their preferences list—but if you DID by any chance have it on your preference list, you can check that off. If you love the name but want to decrease the frill, you could go for Annabel Juliet—but I like the way Juliette makes the Julie Jeanette connection clearer. Annabel Juliette, maybe.
Or I can think of a few more names you could consider as given names if you’d like to use Tilly as a nickname, and I’m hoping the commenters can think of still more. One is Ottilie. I haven’t yet encountered this name in person, and it is full of potential pronunciation/spelling issues, but it’s a very pretty name; I like the German pronunciation which is somewhere between oh-TEEL-ee-ah and ah-TILL-ee-ah. I’m afraid in the U.S. you’d hear a lot of AHT-tih-lee. Spelling it Ottilia/Otilia (as we do with names such as Anneke/Annika and Tilde/Tilda) would help, I’d think.
Another is Tilden. This name is too new to me for me to have an opinion yet, but I would think it would fit in well with other surname/location names. But I wonder if it might sound wrong with the surname.
The third is Natalie. It feels like a stretch to get Tilly from that, but I’ve seen bigger stretches.
Name update:
Dear Swistle,
I wanted to give you an update on our baby girl’s arrival after you posted our question and so many people took time out to respond. I was secretly heartbroken that we wouldn’t be using the name Tilly after loving that name for most of my life. Both my husband and I fell instantly in love when we read your answer and the name Natalie jumped out at both of us as the perfect solution. It became even more special when we learned that the meaning of the name is “Christmas day” when we were both engaged and married at Christmastime. Natalie “Tilly” Juliette was born a week early and we are all in love and adjusting to life with two little ones. Thank you so much for your solution and to everyone who helped!
Annabelle Juliette is too many syllables for my personal taste, but what about just Anna? Anna Juliette?
Or you could use Ana, pronounced AH-na, if you wanted something a little more “exotic.”
I think the name Annabelle is feminine but still substantial. Anna is a classic name (and obvious nickname choice) that feels very professional to me, should that be important to her in the future.
I’m also hopeful that your baby might live in a future where women won’t be professionally stymied by something as inconsequential as her first name, when we already live in a world where men named Mitt and Newt can be influential politicians. But that’s a rant for another day…
+1 to your rant for another day. Such truth.
Can we add names like Jeb and Rand to this future rant? Consider this my RSVP.
My cousin has a niece whose name is Matiel. I have been told it is a version of Matilda. Matiel Juliette sounds good and if you want to call her Tilly, she has another name to use professionally.
Annabelle is great. I think it’s a nice break from Isabella, which has been strong for a long time. But in your situation, I really love Anna.
Abigail works, too.
I hope this ends up being an easy decision!
I think Annabelle is great. I also have no problem with Tilly. I think Tilly fits into the same category as my name, and my name’s never given me any professional trouble.
My concerns about a substance gap between your son and daughter would kick in if you were considering Edward and Sparkles. But Jameson to me fits in with other on-trend-but-classic-sounding names like Jackson, Harrison, etc. and Tilly fits in with other on-trend-but-classic-sounding names like Molly, Sadie, Lily, Mila, Ellie, Nora, etc.
The fact that your husband doesn’t like it and you’ve kind of lost your enthusiasm for it to is probably a deal killer…but I just wanted to throw this out there in case someone else is considering Tilly.
I agree with other comments that Tilly is probably too questionable in your minds at this point for you to move forward and still love it and have no future second guessing. I think Annabelle is an excellent choice. Swistle’s suggestion of adjusting the spelling is a great idea. When you say “Annabelle Juliette” out loud, I don’t think it sounds overly feminine. I think it looks very feminine on paper because of the ‘elle’ and the ‘ette’. Maybe choose one of the names to simplify, “Annabel Juliette” or “Annabelle Juliet”. Also consider that after her first year of life, she will almost never be introduced as first name-middle name again, so I wouldn’t let that bog you down. It’s far more important for you to love the flow of the first name-last name when they are said together. That’s the way she’ll be introducing herself for most of her life. I feel like I didn’t do that enough with my first baby while I was pregnant…I loved the flow of all 3 names together, but without her middle name thrown in to break them up I started to question if I made the right choice. Don’t be like me :)
I agree that Annabelle Juliette is very feminine but it’s plenty substantial. There is nothing wrong with a name that’s clearly feminine, I think a clearly feminine name is an asset personally. I think it’s best to teach your daughter that she can be strong without hiding her femininity, and I think Annabelle is a great name that goes along with that lesson.
I agree that I don’t like when boys are given strong names and girls are given cutesy names. Tilly somewhat falls into this category for me.
I love that Annabelle Juliette would honor both her grandmothers. I hate when some kids get honor names and other kids get names that the parents just liked the sound of. I get that you run out of honor names eventually but when 3 boys are named after a dad, a grandpa and an uncle and then a girl is given a name chosen out of a name book somewhat randomly… it makes me sad.
Good luck.
I’ve known two girls called Tilly, one was a Clotilde and the other was Chantilly. So there a few different ways you could go! :-D
Annabelle Juliette is lovely and not overly frilly at all. And Annabelle has plenty of name options if she wanted to change it up in her life. I also really like that Annabelle honors your mom. With James honoring both Granddad’s and Juliette honoring one Grandmom, it would be hard to leave one out.
I have a great aunt Tilly whose full name is Tilly. Thelma = feminine but not feminista?
I think Annabel spelled like this seems more substantial and works well with Juliette. If you prefer Annabelle, then I would go with with Julie or Juliet for her middle name.
There are other Ann names you might want to consider that sound both feminine and strong/serious. Anya, Annika, Annette (might need to go with Julia as the middle name), Hannah.
Also, if you want to use a name to get the nickname Tilly – Julianna might be a nice middle name to honor both of your mothers. Some names that could get you to Tilly include: Anatila or Talitha.
I agree with Swistle- Annabel Juliette is lovely and can also work on a grown woman. Or perhaps Annelise Juliette? Heck, she could even go by AJ if she desires.
Do you dislike Campbell for a girl? She could go by Cammy, Cammie, or Bella at home? Campbell Juliette is sweet and has lots of nickname options her her later.
I think it sounds feminine but not “frilly.” However, I’ve always thought the more streamlined version Anabel looked less like a Disney Princess name than Annabelle. Something about loosing all the extra letters I think. Maybe this variant would appeal and reduce your concerns a bit?
I do think Tillie does not sound serious/grown up at all. It’s not that it’s exactly frilly so much that it’s main appeal seems to be its cuteness. If you don’t like Matilda, perhaps Tilda? Tess and Tessa also seem similar, while also feeling more substantial.
Tilda Swinton the actress is actually named Matilda, but I don’t see why you couldn’t use Tilda as a given name, with Tilly as a nickname. Tilda Juliette is feminine without generational overtones.
I’m voting for Annabelle Juliette, so lovely and also ageless. A beautiful way to honor your mothers.
But I’m also here to say that my MIL was Matilda, and she HATED the nn Tilly. She went by Teddy instead. So if you don’t like Matilda, but you’re using it to get to Tilly, she may up using a different nn after all.
But also what about Lily or Lillian or GIllian or Jill or Milly or Millicent or Zilla?
Annabel Juliette is lovely. For that matter, Juliette is beautiful. I fully understand having a little girl name in a grown up world. I was saddled with Cassandra but always called Cassie. I never understood why my parents gave me one but always called me by another. Juliette is classically beautiful, and she could always use Julie if she chose.
I have cousin named Annabelle, she is amazingly intelligent, poised, gorgeous, polite. At almost 14 she has no problem with her full name.
I say go for all the letters and the full spelling. Ultimately either name will giver options in a professional world of she finds she needs or wants them. Don’t over think, go with your hearts.
Hm, well you could do something like Matilyn or Katilyn to get to Tilly.
Tilney? Sir Edmund Tilney – The Master of Reveals for Queen Elizabeth; Henry Tilney, from Jane Austen’s Northanger Abbey
Annabelle is fine, it just doesn’t have the same pizzazz as Tilly to me.
Let us know what you decide!
Annabelle Juliette is wonderful and substantial. I’d be annoyed if you wanted your son to be Jameson and your daughter Princess or Bambi. But Annabelle is a name suitable for a scientist or CEO.
I really love Juliette and wonder if that couldn’t be first? Juliette Annabelle! Juliette has great nicknames (Jet! Julie! Etta!) and you could slim down the syllables if you want by calling her Juliette Anne.
I named my daughter Rosalie and was concerned it was too girly. In real life it doesn’t seem frilly on my tough little athlete and I expect your future Annabelle or Juliette will make her name her own too.
I hate it when people act like it is a crime to be female or that being female will somehow hinder you in your life. We’re past that. I agree that it was a little surprising when Gwyneth Paltrow went from Moses to Apple. That definitely felt like she went from powerful to decorative, and I had harsh thoughts about it. However, after listening to her talk about why she picked Apple, I became much less reactive to the names. There’s always a reason people pick the name they pick and loving a name is an excellent reason to pick it!
Annabel Juliette is gorgeous, feminine, and timeless. I love it. Tilly is fine, too, though! Enough with the unisex blah blah blah. Embrace the female!
oh we are DEFINITELY NOT past that. we should be, and i’m not saying that should necessarily impact names, but as a society, we are absolutely NOT past that.
I was going to suggest Julianna, but your desire to not have another J name means that’s out.
I know a Tilly whose full name is Tilitha with a Dutch surname
It seems I’m in the minority, but I do think Annabelle is a little frilly–for me, too frilly. The “belle” part makes me think of the Disney princess, the belle of the ball, ding-dong bell, and beauty (I think that’s what it means)–for me, it’s hard to imagine this name on a scientist or just a stout greying middle-aged woman in no makeup like myself at the present moment. Which leaves me thinking that Anna Juliette may be a better name. Or one of the non-Matilda “Tilly” names Juliette. Or Anastasia Juliette. I also think Juliette is a great first name, the 3-J-names not withstanding (for me personally, that wouldn’t be a deal breaker).
I’m not sure I’m entitled to give an opinion since I’m a foreigner, but what about just giving the baby 3 names? If that is possible in the US (here in Poland you can register only 2 names, first and middle), Anna Tilly Juliette would be a good compromise (Annabelle in that combo may sound a little bit like a mouthful): you get a cute nickname Tilly to call her when she’s a baby (or just at home), and a solid first name she can easly switch to when she’s older.
Jameson Penn and Anna Tilly Juliette?
(On a side note, in that 3-name combo Tilly sounds kind of like a surname name, mom’s maiden name or something like that – at least to my foreign ears!)
P.S. Sorry for my English!
No need to apologize! Your English is better than what I often use online, and I’m a native speaker.
Of the many great suggestions for you, my favorites are:
Annabel Juliette (I do prefer the Annabel spelling)
Anna Juliette
Millicent Juliette nn Tilly
Clotilde Juliette
Tilda Juliette
I can’t help but reply because I have a Tilly! She is barely 3 so I can’t tell you yet how it will translate to her grown up self but I love the name and I am so happy we chose it. Tilson is a family name and her name is actually “Laura Tilson” (both honor names)- I think Tilly will translate well when she is older but if she prefers she can switch to Laura professionally. I like swistle’s suggestion of Tilden which sounds very dignified to me or you could search your family tree for other names that may have a “Til.”
I also find Annabelle Juliette perfect.
What about Annabel Jett or Annabel Jules if you think the name is too frilly.
Personally, I think Annabelle Juliette is beautiful. I do prefer the Annabel spelling but either way is pretty.
Anna Juliette is a great suggestion too.
Rosanna, Susanna or Arianna?
Good luck!
To cut down on the frill, I would go with Annabelle Jean!
Three syllable first names with a single syllable middle name is my favorite combination. It still honors your MIL but keeps it a little simpler.
Annabelle (or Annabel) Juliette is beautiful as a full name and versatile as far as nicknames go.
I am also all about Tilda to get to Tilly if you’d like – a name that falls into the category of not hugely popular but familiar because of the actress (kind of like Charlize, Gwyneth, etc.). I guess it helps if you like the actress! My personal favorite Tilda Swinton role is as Gabriel in the movie Constantine, which probably says more about me than about Tilda.
In that vein, Gabrielle / Gabriella might work instead of Annabel. IMHO, Anna is a prettier nickname than Gabby, but there is also Brielle. From behind the name, it looks like the German version has less Ls — Gabriela / Briele. From Tilly to Brilly? Too frilly?
I also like the suggestion of Campbell as a daughter’s name. There was a time when Campbell made me think of Pete Campbell from Mad Men (Not great Bob!!!) but now it reads girl to me. Go figure.
Annabel Juliette Tr0@$h — Anna, Annie, Bella, Bells
Tilda Juliette Tr0@$h — Tilly
Gabriela Juliette Tr0@$h — Gabby, Brielle / Briele, Brilly
Campbell Juliette Tr0@$h — Cammie, Bell, Bells
I don’t think having a name like Daisy or Tilly will be as hard for our daughters to carry professionally as it was for previous generations. There are already women with names like Nikki and Heidi (I notice that one ;)) paving the way and with all the little girls being named Maisie, Sophie, Kylie and Sadie and so on, I personally don’t think being named Tilly would be a problem. That being said, Annabelle is also a lovely name.
I have a strong association to Annabelle (the creepy possessed doll), so it would be difficult for me not to automatically go there when I see a little girl named that, but it’s by no means a deal breaker for me.
So, that being said, I never understand what people REALLY mean when they say a girl name is too “frilly” or “girly.” Many times, boy’s names are applauded for being ‘strong” and “masculine,” yet sometimes we blow off very clearly feminine sounding names as being too”frilly.” As Swistle said, there is not a thing wrong with being feminine. I completely understand that “feminine” or “girly” names are not some parents’ naming styles, but it sounds to me like you REALLY like this name and the fact that it is too “frilly” is giving you some pause. Anabelle Juliette is beautiful and girly and feminine and STRONG in its femininity, and I am all in with that name (not that my opinion will make or break your decision lol).
PS. I agree with another commenter that it really only looks very feminine when spelled out, but not as feminine when said out loud. Swistle already suggested Anabel as an alternate spelling and I actually do prefer that spelling to “Annabelle.” I was going to suggest Anabol, since I have a coworker named that, but I just looked it up and saw that it’s also the name of a steroid on the market….so perhaps, I’ll take that suggestion back.
I think Annabelle Juliette is gorgeous although I would simplify the spelling to Annabel. Yes, it is feminine but it’s substantial and doesn’t sound cutesy or silly. I can picture a judge, a doctor, a dancer, a store clerk, and preschool teacher all with this name. I love that she can be Anna or Annie or Anne…or maybe even Billy…? Or what about AJ? I absolutely love how both of your kids will have honor names covering all the grandparents and how the first names are a twist on the original honor name.
Annabel Juliette- two thumbs up!
Another thread in this topic: https://nameberry.com/nametalk/threads/71486-Tilly-as-a-nickname
A German friend of mine named her daughter Annabelle because it is recognizable and easy to pronounce in both English and German. Maybe that’s something to consider if the German last name means there are more German ties.
I actually think Annabelle Juliette is lovely and the fact that you both like it and it honours both grandmothers makes it a winning combination.
I wonder if your feeling of it being too frilly has to do with the sing-songy effect (I really don’t feel it is overly so) of both names having the same rhythm …
ANN-a-belle JU-li-ette.
Would an ‘Anna’ name with a different emphasis soften this?
My personal favourite is Susannah (I have one and can’t recommend it highly enough)…
su-SANN-ah JU-li-ette.
I’m not sure it makes much difference, just a thought :)
Though if Annabelle makes you smile and is the name you love, use it. And use it with Juliette. It’s a flexible, substantial name full of honour and meaning.
I quite like Susanna, to. We seriously considered this for our daughter since it’s closer to our style than Susan. My late mother was named Susan, though, so we ended up with the closer honor.
I LOVE Annabel Juliette, though really only with the spelling Annabel-Annabelle does feel very Disney Princess to me.
Tilda Juliette is nice. Or Mathilde, though that’s close to Matilda.
Annabel Juliette would work very nicely. Both feminine and strong. I like Anna Juliette better, but that’s just personal taste.
I think Annabel Juliette is gorgeous. I could also see getting to Tilly with Thalia Juliette, Talia Juliette. I think Tallulah would be another way to get there, but if you are concerned about the femininity of Annabelle I wouldn’t think that would be the direction you want to go.