Hello baby naming genius, I need your help!
I am currently pregnant with my third child: a girl, due June 11th. My husband and I absolutely cannot (and never have) agree on a girl name, so my sister-in-law sent me to your blog and I am reaching out in desperation!
We currently have two boys, Lincoln Scott and Sullivan Woodrow. We did not find out the gender of the boys before they were born, but this time around, I just wanted to know, and we are excitedly expecting a girl. When I was pregnant with the boys, we did not have a girl’s name picked out—nothing, so I was happy that they were both boys! Actually, my husband named the boys after popular movies that had come out (or were soon to be released) around the time the boys were born: “Lincoln” and “Sully”. The boys have family middle names, one for my father, and one for my husband’s late grandfather. I love the boys names.
Our last name is Cave, which is a little unusual, but not too odd.
I LOVE the name Molly. Always have. Always will. It is the only girls name I’ve ever seriously considered. My husband, however, thinks it is a “baby name” and sounds like a “nick-name”. (He has suggested awful things like naming her “Ryan” after a best friend, or “Alexandra” which is just way too stuffy and formal). I am very stuck on Molly, but don’t have any idea of what to use for middle name—as we don’t have any female family names that we want to use, it’s pretty open to whatever sounds good.
I am trying to convince my husband to side with me (am I allowed to pull the “but you named the boys!” card?? 😉), but I need a good middle name to help me out. I feel like the middle name should be longer—maybe three syllables, to help balance the shortness of our last name. I don’t like “Elizabeth” or “Victoria” or royal sounding names, I tend to like names like “Agatha” and “Hazel” and “Willow”. However, My middle name is Joi (Joy) and I love it, but my husband thinks it would be weird to name her Molly Joi after me…..thoughts?
I am also Irish. (Cave is Welsh).
So, I don’t know if you can help me out—-perhaps even giving me another option for Molly (no, I don’t want to use “Mary”). But really, I need your help to make “Molly” more appealing! :)
Thank you!!
Tarah Cave
Let me start by arguing with your husband on pretty much everything:
1. The name Molly is not a babyish name.
2. The name Molly CAN be a nickname for Mary or Margaret, but is also a given name. My strong guess is that it is currently much more common as a given name than as a nickname. Many people don’t even know it can be a nickname for other names.
3. It would not be weird for your daughter to have the same middle name as you. Handing down a name from parent to child is in fact a fairly ordinary baby-naming practice—more common with father/son names, but why should that be? I’d like to see it get equally as common with mother/daughter names.
Also, I’m with you: he got more say with the first two kids’ names, so you should have more say this time. He should at the very least be considering your favorite very seriously and trying very hard to come around to it.
Some similar names, in case any of them would appeal:
Holly
Malia (the MAH-lee-ah pronunciation, with Molly as a nickname)
Mallory
Milly (Amelia, Millicent)
Polly
Tilly (Matilda)
I would have suggested Sally, but that’s so close to Sully. Even Molly/Milly/Polly/etc. are getting a little close, if you usually call him Sully.
With Molly ____ Cave, I like a two-syllable middle name with the emphasis on the second syllable: Molly Louise, Molly Noelle, Molly Marie, etc. But I also like Molly Agatha. Or Molly Frances, or Molly Jo, or Molly Vivian, or Molly Abigail, or Molly Ruth, or Molly Evelyn. Or this could be an area for giving your husband something he wants in order to get the more important thing you want: Molly Ryan or Molly Alexandra. Molly Alexandra gives you the initials MAC, which might be a cute nickname option if she wants it.
Name update:
Hi! I recently asked for help with naming my third baby, a girl.
My top name was Molly, but my husband thought it was a baby nickname.
Thank you for all of your help and the awesome responses!
I’m happy to say that without much prodding, I was able to change his mind about Molly! He slowly began referring to her as “Miss Molly” (it may have helped that I played him the song “Miss Molly” sung by Willie Nelson, AND one of you referred to Molly Weasley, which he loved!) about a month before she was due. Two nights before she was born I asked him again about the name, and he said that he had actually started to like it! YES! So, I picked her first name, and he picked her middle name.
Allow me to introduce:
Molly Hazel, our sweet redheaded gal!
Here she is with her adoring big brothers, Lincoln & Sullivan:
I can’t wait for an update on little Molly Joi, because to me this is her name. Your sons have a family middle name, and now your daughter will, too.
To me your only real naming problem is that your husband doesn’t like what you love. I totally recommend playing the “I get to name the girls” card. It seems fair to me. Your husband is wrong in his assumptions, but that’s our little secret.
I have a friend who is 15 and is Molly and it fits her just fine. I also have a cousin who is close to 30 and she is Molly. Hubs needs to come up with a better excuse. I have also seen Molly used as a nickname for Megan. Good Luck.
I gave my daughter my middle name! I love it and I love being able to tell her that it’s something I passed on to her.
Molly Joi sounds wonderful and I am hoping hoping hoping your husband comes around to seeing how fantastic it is!
ITA agree with everything Swistle said. I really only have a couple of additional thoughts.
Regarding you & your daughter sharing a middle name: It’s lovely and Molly Joi has such a nice ring, I think it could even work as a double barrel first name. Perhaps this would help him see Molly as less of a nickname? FWIW, my family has a longstanding tradition of grandmother/daughter/granddaughter/etc sharing middle names. I have never, ever had anyone comment that it seemed “weird” for me to be named after my mother/grandmother. Methinks your husband is being silly. :-)
I do think the primary goal sounds like getting to use Molly, so perhaps you could give up Joi as part of a compromise. If that’s the case, I think you should expand your family honor names to include male members of the family. I love a good cross-gender honor name. Have you got any surnames you’d want to use? Or masculine names with feminized versions (Carl/Charlotte, etc)? Or even male names you’d want to use as is? I see no reason why something like Molly Ryan couldn’t work.
I agree with Swistle on all points! And hope that you can sway him to Molly Joi, or Molly with another middle name that perhaps he likes as buy-in to Molly for the first.
Molly as a first name is given nearly as frequently as Mary these days. In 2014 they were only two apart on the list!
https://www.ssa.gov/cgi-bin/babyname.cgi
More middle name possibilities:
Molly Elise
Molly Suzanne
Molly Kate
Molly Jane
Molly Amelia
Molly Enid
Molly Edith
How about some other nature names like Hazel and Willow – maybe one of these will appeal to both of you?
Molly Jasmine
Molly Rose
Molly Wren
Molly Heather
Molly Iris
Molly Skye
Molly Fern
Molly Laurel
Molly Juniper
Molly Violet
Molly Savannah
Molly Sienna
Not much to add except that I agree with everything Swistle said. Molly and Sullivan are some of my favourite names in the world – please be sure to come back and update us once the baby is born.
I strongly suspect (and hope) that your husband will come around to Molly. Give him more say over the middle and you get your choice for first.
A few more three-syllable middles (though I think one and two-syllable middles also work with Molly and Cave):
Molly Eleanor
Molly Harriet
Molly Lydia
Molly Joanna
Molly Caroline
Molly Amanda
Molly Annabel
Molly Serena
Molly Sabrina
Molly Emmeline
Molly Eliza
Molly is your absolute favorite name AND your husband got to name both of your other children independently? This seems like a no-brainer. Hopefully, your husband will come around. I suggest pushing for Molly! I’ll also second what a previous commenter wrote and say that, if he really won’t budge, you could offer to let him decide the middle name if he’ll agree to Molly.
I have to respectfully disagree with some of the advice posted above. Your husband pretty clearly does not like the name Molly (at least on its own). Both partners have to be comfortable with a name, and preferably both really like or love it. You say you love your sons’ names — so it doesn’t sound like he had to browbeat you into agreeing to those names. You’re going to have to give him the same respect and find a name you can both love. To get to Molly, maybe try Amalia? And if he won’t go for a long form that gets you to Molly, go back to the drawing board. There are so many amazing names out there.
My position is not that the father has to use a name he doesn’t like, but rather that it sounds as if he is not giving this name a fair chance: his reasons sound dismissive and insubstantial, and he may have become accustomed to getting his way. No one is advocating that he be browbeaten into accepting a name he actively dislikes.
I don’t think it’s fair to force a spouse to accept a name that they hate. But that isn’t the case here. He has a couple of concerns but they seem minor, inaccurate, and heavily outweighed by your love for the name. I think it is totally legitimate to plead your case, and ask him to let you use Molly Joi. Lovely name!!!
Molly Alexandra seems like the perfect compromise to me.
This is my favorite combination, too.
If Mary and Margaret are the traditional sources of Molly as a nickname and Mary doesn’t appeal, does Margaret? Margaret Joi or Margaret Alexandra? I though Mallory was a good idea, too, and a nice stylistic fit with the brother names, which are both surnames. This might be my favorite option: Mallory Alexandra, called Molly.
The only Molly I know is a spitfire of a woman with grown children. I have a hard time imagining Molly as a baby; she’s such a competent person.
Since Molly is a real name and not a cutesy nickname like Boo Bear, maybe it will encourage your husband to know that the name will grow with her. Baby Molly, and child Molly, and teenager Molly, and adult Molly will all make sense as the person that he loves with that name ages.
The only reason “Patricia” and “Linda” seem like ladies in their 50s-60s is because that’s who we know (mostly) with those names! They were baby’s names once too.
I think Molly is great as a given name. I love Molly Joi! In the interests of compromise, I think Molly could also work well as a nickname for Maria, Miriam, or Muriel.
Molly or bust!
If it’s 100% never gonna get a green light then I think you both have to scrap existing lists and start over.
Style wise, a surnamey/unisex with frills first name would go well with the boys…
Campbell
Bellamy
Delaney
Ellis
Addison
Leighton
Peyton
Molly just shouts PRACTICAL, WARM, AND SMART to me. Like, a super competent, no nonsense but extremely kind woman would have the name Molly.
Upon reflection: Clearly, I have been heavily influenced by Molly Weasley with a dash of the American Girl doll Molly thrown in for good measure.
Anyway, I’m 100% here for Molly. I love Molly Joi, but the point about Molly Alexandra “Mac” is also good.
At the start of your comment I was thinking, she has to be talking about Molly Weasley <3
NOT MY DAUGHTER, YOU BITCH!
I love your boy names ! You could wait until she’s born and continue the tradition of giving her a name of a newly or almost released movie. That would be a nice tie in.
Otherwise I think Molly Alexandra sounds like a great compromise.
If you’re looking for suggestions – a long formal name with a great nickname might work for you two. Francesca nicknamed Frankie.
Something that struck me is that you both love your boys’ names now—but neither of them meant anything to you until they belonged to your sweet sons (and now, or course, they mean everything).
Molly is a name that means something to you already, and a name that you have loved even before a sweet babe was attached to it. That carries some significance. You should win this one—and once your husband has his sweet Molly girl in his arms, he’s going to love the name too, and it will mean something to him as well.
For what it’s worth, I think of the unsinkable Molly Brown when I hear the name Molly (spunky rich lady who survived the Titanic). I think that’s a cool association. I also think of the American girl doll, which is another positive association for me (and coincidentally where my love of the name Felicity comes from).
While I love the idea of you “winning” both the names and getting a Molly Joi, I do think the middle name is a good place to compromise. I think Molly Adelaide would be lovely.
I don’t think it is ever fair for one parent to present a name as the only option they will accept. My husband did this to me for girl’s names and she is at school now but I still resent it.
Unlike other posters I think the objections to Molly are valid. I wouldn’t use any of the old style nickname names myself even though I accept they are perfectly ok choices for another family (such as Sally, Molly, Jim, or whatever – I would use Sarah, Margaret or James). I don’t find your objections to Alexandra any more objective than his to Molly.
The refusal not to pass your name down however is the hill I would die on. I don’t think the objection there is fair. Why not look for another first name with the Molly vibe and use Joi as the middle?
Maisie Joi
Lucy Joi
Ruby Joi
Catherine Joi (Katie-Jo)
Joi or Joy as the first name
Anna Joi (Annie)
Josie nn Joi? (a nickname for a nickname? I think it still works).
I agree wholeheartedly. While Molly is a fine name, so is Alexandra. Neither are weird- just that one matches your style and the other matches your husbands style. But that is how naming works!
I think the two things you have in your favor are 1) your husband got to name not one, but two children already, and 2) he is objecting to passing on your middle name for NO GOOD REASON AT ALL. To point 2, he is being silly and stupid and ridiculous and I could go on and on here but I will stop. Hopefully him seeing all of these comments will make him rethink his position and let you choose a meaningful middle name for your daughter. To point 1, I think because he named the first two you could definitely use that to your advantage to try to get him to agree to Molly, but in the end if he absolutely hates Molly I would say you need to come up with some alternatives. Basically because he got to name your sons, I would give him 3 names you love and tell him he needs to pick the one he likes the most (or hates the least). That way they are primarily your picks but he isn’t stuck with something he completely despises.
I hate to say it, but I think I agree with these two folk. Molly is a lovely name, which you like, and which your husband irrationally does not like. Alexandra is a lovely name, which your husband likes, and which you irrationally do not like. Unless one or the other of you change your minds, neither name should be used. There are (Happily) a large number of other names that could work.
As for Joi, if you would like to pass that on, I think you should. BUT it should be noted that your husband has not included his middle name in your boys’ names.
I would encourage you to think about Joi (or Joy) as a first name, and if this is your last baby and your husband would like it, perhaps some version of your husband’s middle as the middle.
There is no indication in the letter that this is the only name the letter-writer will accept, and none of us would endorse that. What we are suspecting is that the father, after getting his favorite names for both the first two children, is not giving his wife’s favorite name due consideration—and that this may be because he has become accustomed to getting his own way each time. I am advocating only that the father give actual, genuine, sincere consideration to the mother’s favorite name, rather than dismissing it for what is a pretty weak set of reasons.
I love Molly! It is a stand-alone name. Bonus- all three kids would have 2 L’s in their first names.
Hotel Transylvania comes out in 2018 starring Mavis. Mavis Cave is cute with the repeating V’s. Same for Violet ( character in the Incredibles).
If Molly has to be taken off the table, how about:
Jillian
Matilda
Romilly
I’ve totally used the two L’s as a way to sway him!
Also, I LOVE the name Mavis, but my friend had a baby a few years ago and named her Mavis….which makes me a little leery to use it.
I will say this—my husband hasn’t thrown out any other name suggestions, and has even removed Alexandria and Ryan from his list. AND, a few days ago he referred to the baby as “Miss Molly”!! Woo-hoo!! I’m trying to keep from flaunting the name and over using it, or being pushy about suggesting it, so I was pleasantly surprised at his use of it!
As for a middle name, we are still struggling…..2 weeks until DDAY!
And Camilla
This is a tough one. I think Swistle and almost everyone else has given you lots to read to your husband to appeal to him to consider Molly seriously. Just for fun I scanned the 2018 movies lost and Molly’s Game is right there! (And so many movies with Mary in the name oddly, and Nancy and Whitney)
I agree, Joi would be so sweet to share with your daughter. Would be a shame not to use it.
If you’re interested in something to get you to Molly (though it sounds like you just want straight up Molly) how about Maude Lillie-Joi nn Molly? Or Montgomery Joi?
But. I feel like if this was a letter where your husband would consider only Molly despite your reservations, we’d be telling you to tell him to give you a few more options. Have you got anything else at all? If you just told me your sons’ names and asked me to name your daughter I’d probably go surname name like Sheridan or Kendrick or Beaudry or Pemberly. Or maybe TJ after you so Tennyson or Tenley or Teller or Tatum or Tallulah or Theodora…
Molly’s Game, by Aaron Sorkin (He also did West Wing, A Few Good Men, The American President), was an AWESOME 2018 movie!!
I think Molly Joi is great! As a Molly who is 30, I have never felt like my name is babyish. I also really like that I’ve met little Mollys and Mollys that are my parents age, it’s a name that isn’t stuck in one generation. I’m due in a week and if the babe had been a girl, she was going to share my middle name, Katherine. I think you should DEFINITELY pass your middle name down. Congrats and good luck!
What about something like Moriah Lillian : Mo- Li- = Molly. Moriah has the -riah sound like Ryan that your husband might like.
I think if one spouse LOVES a name, then the other spouse owes it to them to try to make it happen. If they hate it, fine. No one should use a name they hate. But if you don’t hate it & don’t have any great options of your own, I think it should be given more weight. Especially if the baby will have your last name and you named the other two kids.
I agree with this, and also because Molly is such a charming name that I feel sure that people will respond very warmly to it. I think this will be what makes her husband ultimately like it even if he is against it now.
Molly Joi is lovely. I really hope you’ll use it. And, if not, I do hope you can find a middle with some sort of special significance to you all even if not a family name. How about your maiden name? Or Molly June for her birth month?
I considered my maiden name, but it is “Maguire”, and there is an infamous Irish gang called the “Molly Maguires” haha… ;)
I agree that Molly works fine as a full name. I know an adult Molly. Molly Ringwald is 50, and Molly Haskell almost 80. It ages fine. I hope you can convince your husband to go with Molly Joi.
But, in case it doesn’t end up being an option for you, I thought I’d suggest some more long names that could get you to Molly as a nickname:
Marian/ Marion (or other Mary derivatives)
Marguerite (or other Margaret derivatives)
Madelief or Marisol might work if you have a Dutch or Spanish connection
Magdalene, Magdalena, Maddalena, Madeleine
Marsaili, Marcella
Romola
Muriel
Marigold, Magnolia (these might be a bit too wordy with your surname?)
As for alternative ( 3 syllables, vintage or nautre-y but not ‘royal’) middle names, maybe:
Celia, Cecilia
Harriet
Eloise
Ramona
Imogen
Finola
Rowena
Rhiannon
Gwendolen
Juniper
Clementine
I want to add some more Welsh or Irish names, but I think they might be a bit too far out of your husband’s comfort zone.
Or, if you use a longer name with Molly as a nickname, maybe an ‘ol’ name like Olwen, Olivia, Olive, Olga, Olympia could help reinforce the nickname: Madeleine Olive nn Molly, for instance.
Good luck!
If you use nicknames, I have soooo many heart eyes for a Molly with initials MAC! Linc, Sully and Mac!
Also, I just wanted to encourage you to not give up on Molly. My husband had similar (ie minor) issues with my favorite girl name during almost my entire pregnancy, but he came around to it in the end! What finally convinced him was me pointing out that there are issues with every name (no such thing as perfect!) and I agreed his points were valid but easily surmountable – worth overcoming to use the name.
Good luck!
My grandma’s name was Amelia but she went by Molly.
How about Magnolia Joi?
All the sounds are there, you have a family middle, AND you get the nickname Molly with a three-syllable, historical, and formal name.
Molly is a lovely timeless and ageless name
I so love Molly. I know a big shot attorney named Molly and she loves being Molly.
I will add I especially love Molly as a nickname for Mary and wonder if that is the compromise that brings your husband around: formal name Mary, but called exclusively (or mostly) Molly. Then she can be Mary later if she wants, addressing your husbands concerns.
I love Mary Joi and Molly Joi. Mary Alexandra gets you formal and tomboy (MAC) name options with Molly as her primary name. I like names that can grow and change with kids!
I was going to pull for Mary nn Molly as well. Especially if it brings the husband around.
Wait, your husband picked your boys’ names based on movies released near the time they were born but now has all these picky issues with finding a girl’s name??? Naw, that would def not fly with me.
Because I like the repeating Vs:
Avril Joi Cave
Genevieve Joi Cave – gives you Gen Joi, Genny Joi, Nev Joi, Veevee Joi
Guinevere Joi Cave – Guin or Gwen
Gwyneira Joi Cave – it’s Welsh!! And means white snow! or Snow White? So pretty and underused, but maybe too fussy for you? You do get Gwyn and Neira/Neera for short.
Maybe Gwyneira wins the too many nouns in a full name award combined with Joi and Cave tho. It’s like a quadruple word score.
Ah! And Molly fits in with the movie theme too, see “Molly’s Game.” I have a friend named Molly and she’s in her late 30s. I think it’s a fantastic name. Sometimes she signs email as “Mol.”
Some ideas based on upcoming movies which will be released around June 2018…
Violet (Incredibles 2) – Lettie, Viv
Claire / Clare (Jurassic World 2) – Cece?
Ocean (Ocean’s 8)
Lou (Ocean’s 8) – short for Louisa? Malou? Luna?
After June 2018…
Hope (Ant-Man and the Wasp)
Mavis (Hotel Transylvania 3)
Sophie (Mamma Mia 2)
I have my grandmother’s middle name, and if I have a daughter she will have it too. (It’s Mae.) It’s totally A Thing and decidedly not weird. My cousin has her mom’s first name as her middle name. Also, I love the name Molly. Completely not just a nickname or baby name. Maybe your husband should see the new movie out – Molly’s Game?
I kind of disagree with some of the commenters who say you shouldn’t use a name that a husband/wife hate. In my experience, some husbands (mine) have very strong opinions about names and then a week later forget that they had those strong opinions. Or, they have strong opinions and then after thinking through other options, realize that they don’t really care. My husband just vetoed everything I said for half our children. I finally just told him that I was naming the baby whatever I wanted unless HE came up with an actual option (not his normal options–like Withington Cheesemore). If he came up with an actual option, I would consider it. Women like to make people happy, especially their husbands. Put the burden on him and stick to Molly unless he can come up with something better. About six weeks after her birth he will have forgotten he ever said he didn’t like the name.
As for the middle name–what the what? In my family there is a long standing tradition that the oldest daughter is named after the mother. That’s pretty common. That is just weird and you should explain to him that he’s not allowed to have that opinion. Good luck!
Ha, yes. When I was expecting Rob, Paul absolutely vetoed a name he hated from my list. When I was expecting William, I included the vetoed name in my list of a dozen or so names and asked Paul what he thought of them—and his top choice was the name he’d hated before, and he then pushed for that name over my hesitations. He didn’t seem to remember at all that he’d once vetoed it.
SAME. My husband also vetoed a name with our son that I loved and then when we expecting our next kid (before finding out the gender) said he liked that name the best! But we’ve only had girls since, so that name is still unused.
Doesn’t that drive you nuts! We take them at their word, and then it turns out they’re just spouting off. My husband is the most faithful, upstanding guy I know, but boy howdy, the vociferously defended positions he’s taken that are totally forgotten two days later…
Now Evil Me is thinking I should just do/get what I want, and tell him he told me he liked it later… the possibilities!
I just want to point out that I would not make a big deal of the movie connection with Molly’s Game. “Lincoln” was about a President of the US who is considered one f the best in US history. “Sully” is about an airline pilot that saved the lives of hundreds of passengers by successfully landing a plane on the Hudson river. Those characters were roll models and heroes. Before deciding to name your daughter after Molly Bloom (the real person the movie is based on), you should understand who she is and what her claim to fame is.
That is not to say don’t use the Molly. I like the name and think it is good enough reason to use it that you love the name and always have. But I would not make part of her naming story that she was named after a movie that came about a woman who ran an underground poker game.
obviously it would be after Molly Weasley.
LW, I’m very sorry to break this is to you but your husband is wrong. He named BOTH your boys, AND–I’m surprised Swistle didn’t mention this–presumably they have his last name, too! So, your kids currently have 6 names: Lincoln Scott Cove and Sullivan Woodrow Cove. Of those names, 5/6 come from your husband (it’s his surname, and he chose both first names, and one middle name is after his family). Molly Joi–a first name that you LOVE and he doesn’t despise, a middle name honoring you and your family, and still his last name–is perfect. Go for it.
I can’t say I like Molly and Sully in the same sibling set – I think they are too similar. Maybe if you always called her Molly + middle name together?
If Molly is ultimately declared off the table, Molly was on my short list for the daughter I ended up naming Maeve. Oh, but probably too rhyme-y with your last name.
The rest of my short list was Bonnie and Brynn and Fiona. Please update us 😀
I have an aunt named Molly and it’s short for Marianne (or Mary Ann; not sure how her proper name is spelled because she’s exclusively used Molly). I think it works for any generation! I also think Marianne is cute, so that could be a bonus option.
My given name is Molly, I’m in my mid-30’s and I’ve never had an issue with people asking if it’s a nickname or short for something else. I happen to live in an area where there are little to no other Mollys so people constantly comment on how unusual my name is and how much they love it. I say go for it!