On yesterday’s post, Shawna wrote:
Somewhat off topic: my son is the result of IVF (so I know what the LW is going through and wish her the best) – any chance we could, in a separate thread, talk about names that celebrate the birth of babies who arrived after lots of wishing and waiting (because of fertility issues, long adoption processes, or other situations)?
Yes! Let’s do that here on this post.
My beautiful IVF babies (okay, they’re now 5) are Willa Elaine and John “Jack” K3ck. Willa’s middle name is my mother’s middle name, and Jack’s middle name is my maiden name. Since we were transferring two embryos, we got to come up with three sets of names, B/G, G/G, and B/B. Our other girl name was Emmeline Hazel, and our other boy name was Henry Oldn@ (a family name). We’ve now used one of those other four names, and never used the other.
My cousin is naming her child Wilder to pay tribute to the wild journey they went through trying to get their baby.
Another cousin has the middle name Gerard after the patron saint of unborn babies due to difficulty before and during my aunt’s pregnancy.
I love Iris for a girl born after loss or losses since it means rainbow.
I think names with happy meanings are appropriate for all children but particularly ones that have been waited for, Beatrice, Farah, Felix, Asher are some of my favorites. And Abigail’s meaning “father’s joy” I’ve always thought is particularly sweet in a case where daddy might have started to lose hope they’d ever get their baby.
We gave our daughter the middle name Claire, meaning ‘light’, after a dark and difficult time of infertility and loss.
I have a dear friend whose firstborn child (born a year and change after a stillbirth) is named Theodore (God’s gift). Any of those kinds of names could work – Dorothy/Dorothea, Theodore/Theodora, Eudora (“good gift”), Matthew (“gift of Yahweh”)…
In the Bible, the story of Job ends with him being blessed with a bunch of children. His second daughter was named Kezia, the first Jemmima. These children were given to him after he suffered major losses of family, etc. I think that’s a cool story to tell about the loss of babies and the new, living ones that came in the end.
On the topic of “happy names,” along the lines of Felix– Felicity, Joy, or Joyce (which I think means the same thing) would work. Hope’s somewhat related. Esperanza is hope in Spanish and also has a connotation of waiting as to wait and to hope are the same verb. I am only coming up with girl names here. Maybe it’s because there are fewer word names for boys.
Month or season names that mark the time of the long awaited birth (January, April, May, June, July, August, Summer, Autumn, Noelle, Noel) could work and gets at least a couple boy names in there.
My younger daughter (from my ivf b/g twins) has the middle name Iris which means rainbow. All three of my children are rainbow babies with 3 losses before my eldest and two in between her and the twins.
I’m so happy this thread is happening!
We named our son Av1v (like the city in Israel) because it means spring, and he arrived after a literal and figurative long, hard winter. I’m so happy with the name and so far no issues with spelling or pronunciation.
As others said, Hope/Esperanza would be apt as well, also Dawn (sharing a meaning with Alba, Roxana, Aurora, and Danica), and of course Patience :)
I didn’t know the name Av1v meant spring — that is so meaningful and beautiful.
Oh! And of course Faith.
And light-related names: Lucia/Luz/Lucinda, Sheridan, Aileen, Ilona, Alina.
Victor or Victoria or Vincent.
For Christians there are a lot of Biblical references to long-wished babies: Samuel, Isaac, Samson and John.
Some websites say Mary means “wished-for” child. Hope and Grace make sense, too. (Hannah, Joanna, John are also related to grace).
Amy, Amanda, David, Cara – all of them mean “beloved”.
Reuben – means “behold, a son”.
Helen – means “sunshine”.
Margaret – means “pearl”.
Evangeline – means “good news”
Matthew – gift from God
Timothy – God’s gift
We had to go with IVF, too. My late mother’s life insurance paid for the single round that resulted in our son and daughter. Kerry’s name was decided on long, long ago, but Susan Rae was named in honor of Mom and my husband’s favorite aunt. Being a homophone for ray (of light) was an added bonus.
I like Summer for this thread because of the quote, “In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer,” by Albert Camus.
I think of animal names for boys because of a child that fought and made it–so Bear or Badger or Wilder. I also think of really masculine/Biblical names for the same reason.
I would never have thought of this name/quotation combination, but it’s exceptionally beautiful.
Ok I don’t know if this counts!
I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was like 5 (seriously) and it just didn’t happen (queer in a way that meant little chance of accidental pregnancy, chronic illness, life, etc.) until I accidentally (thank GOD for every other moment of my life that led to this one) found my daughter when she was 18. We’ve been doing the adult-adoption process for a few years now. She wanted to change her name for lots of reasons. The first name that she chose, off of my 110-item list of baby names, was H@zel, which was coincidentally (seriously–not intentionally) the one I had “picked” (and immortalized in ballpoint pen in the back cover of a baby name book) for my future daughter the same year that she was born. HEART EYES. She went by this for a year or two. She’s since changed her pick (I AM OK WITH THIS says my inner monologue and def my outer actually-speaking voice) and it’s now (name that she likes that was popular the year she was born, bc she doesn’t want to stand out and bc I read lots of Swistle so I give awesome name-choosing advice like “if you don’t want to stand out then pick a name that was popular the year that you were born”), (name that her bio mom had on her list when she was naming her), (bio dad’s middle name). It’s utterly beautiful and I love her to pieces and can’t imagine her as anything else. Unless she changes it again! (She does bring this up occasionally; I’m not just being a jerk. Among other reasons / Just Indecision, she mentions taking my and my partner’s last name once the adoption is completed, but she may just be throwing me a bone, not sure. <3)
I don't know that there's really anything valuable here that anyone else could take except "bio parents and heritage are often v important when forming identity even when there is a ton of trauma and a very intentional separation even on the kid's part so be careful about painting kids to match yourself"?
Peregrine is the patron saint for cancer patients. If we have a son post-cancer, we’ll likely use Peregrine as a middle.
I thought immediately of Desiree, which means “desired” — very appropriate for a child parents were willing to go to great lengths to have.
My husband suggested Ulysses, for the “long journey” aspect.
In Hebrew, names directly referring to God have an “el” in them. Eliana/Eliyanah means “my God has answered.” For a Jewish or Christian family, those “el” names might be a good place to look.
For non-religious names, I too love the happy names. I think the middle name Joy is fantastic. I love Felix for a boy. Andrea’s suggestion of Summer is fabulous.
Names that have a root in love would be great too.
Amy
Cara
David
Davina (the name of one of my favorite audiobook readers!)
Your comment made me think of the name Clover, since it means good luck and also has the word LOVE in it.
I am in love with the name Clover. I think it’s so beautiful and would make a great name for a wished-for child.
I think names that contain the meaning of “peace” also work well. Infertility and adoption can both be such agonizing, detail-driven, uncertain journeys that at the end of that it’s lovely to look at a baby and feel the peace of one journey done and a new one beginning.
Shiloh means peace! :) If you can get past the dog icon, I think it’s a beautiful name for both man and woman!
When I was (finally!) pregnant, my husband and I came up with an “if etymology were the only consideration” choice for a boy: Desiderius Theodore (or, for our Hungarian relatives, Dezső Tivadar). It started off as something we could never _actually_ inflict on a child, but it has kind of grown on me in the years since. Perhaps _I Love Lucy_ was long enough ago now that Desi wouldn’t be so bad?…
(I still don’t know what we would’ve named our daughter if she had been a boy. Our short list had eight names.)
After ten years of infertility and a long adoption process, we named our daughter Miranda— “marvelous.” Her middle name is her Chinese name. And then a year later I got pregnant and the baby was Matthew, “gift from God,” and his middle name is his father’s name. Having those names has been such a joy.
I meant to add that when we tell people Miranda’s Chinese middle name, 95% of the time or more, folks ask, “Oh, what does that mean?” when I think they would not ask “what does that mean?” if I’d said her middle name was Carys or Eleanor or my maiden name. As a matter of fact, just like Western names, it does have a meaning (“little authority,” which suits her extremely well) but I think it’s interesting that almost everyone asks.
My mom has friends who adopted a baby boy after a long struggle with infertility and numerous IVF attempts. They named him Truson, so he would always know that he is their True Son even though he isn’t biologically related to them. I still get a little misty eyed thinking about it.
Not a fertility issue, but son and I almost died when he was born, and if I hadn’t planned on using my maiden name as his middle, I would have wanted to use Phoenix. It’s not my usual style, but we both rose from the ash when he was born.
We named our unexpected #3 Grace after agonizing for many reasons over whether to continue the pregnancy. I love it.
We named our unexpected #3 Grace after agonizing for many reasons over whether to continue the pregnancy but also choosing her the most intentionally of all in the end—and in the end loving her the most fiercely of all our babies (I know, I’m not supposed to have favorites; I don’t, and I didn’t love her MORE, I loved her more FIERCELY). I love her name.
Oops—accidentally posted before and after finishing/editing. Sorry!
Our daughter’s middle name is Vivian. We named her for “life” since hers was the only embryo out of seven that survived through the freezing portion of the IVF process.
I know that Abigail means “father rejoicing” or “father’s joy” and that Reuben means “behold a son”.