Hi Swistle! Love your blog. I read it when I was pregnant with my first child and have really enjoyed coming back this time around.
Baby Girl Givens is due in early February of 2017. Her older brother is Davis Henry.
My husband has a very specific (& rigid I might add!) list of names he likes and approves. His favorite on the list is Ellis, and he is also open to Ellison. I like both, but don’t love them, and have a few concerns. One, if we have a Davis and an Ellis, does it sound like two boys? And, although we’re not currently planning on it, what if we were to have a third? Would it have to be Davis, Ellis and Ferris or another is-ending name? With Ellison, I feel like she would be called Ellis anyway, so we are presented with the same challenges. And, as you’ve discussed previously in this forum, I think Ellison is easily confused with Allison.
Other first names deemed acceptable per my husband include the following (as you’ll see he likes simple and classic for the most part!):
Ada (this is his second choice – too popular?)
Clare
Cora
Reese
Ruth
NoraFor middle names we are pretty set on using a family name, either Ann or Victoria and I’m going to toss in Josephine as well.
Thanks so much for any thoughts / help / wisdom you can offer here!
All the best,
Kristen
If one parent is highly rigid and picky, my suggested strategy is this: the rigid/picky one makes a reasonable list of acceptable names; then other parent chooses their top three from that list; then the parents work together to choose a joint favorite from those three, perhaps using the middle-name choice to help make things even more fair (for example, if he ends up with his first choice of the three names you chose from his list, you get your first choice of middle name).
If I have misunderstood the situation, and actually both of you added names to that list, then it looks like it is just time for more discussion. If Ellis/Ellison isn’t working for you, how do you feel about his second choice of Ada? What is YOUR first choice, and how does he feel about that? Which names would each of you like to cross off the list? In which order would each of you rank the names on the list? Did one of you have more of a say in your first child’s name, and can that be compensated for this time around? Maybe do some exercises where you each choose your top three and look for overlap, or where you each remove your bottom three and see what’s left, or try combining finalists with possible middle names to see if that helps a first name pull ahead of the pack. And so on.
Davis and Ellis feel too similar to me. Davis and Ellison feel less similar, and are more clearly a brother/sister pairing: in the U.S., Ellis is a unisex name used more often for boys, while Ellison is a unisex name used more often for girls. I think the name Ellison would be more likely to be shorted to Ellie or Ella than to Ellis, and/or that you could encourage the nickname to go that way.
I think any of the other names on the list could work as well. But I would be interested to know what YOUR favorite names are, and which if any you like from your husband’s list.
For what it’s worth, I love Ellison and wouldn’t think to shorten it to Ellis any more than I’d think to refer to any of the many Allisons I know as Alices, or to an Emerson as Emer.
Davis and Ellis definitely seem boy-boy to me–and as a fan of consistency (either everything matches or nothing does), after a Davis and an Ellis I would be bothered by anything but a 5-letter F name ending in “is” (but I’m certainly far crazier than most on that)! So if that’s something on your mind already, maybe it would bum you out later. Also, noting the kids’ last name, an Ellis Givens would add quite a bit of “ends in an S” flavor to the group. I would probably want to avoid that.
Congrats!
Since you don’t love them, I would toss Ellis and Ellison. Your concerns with them are valid. Do you love any of the names on your husbands list?
I don’t think Ada is too popular but it is very similar to Ava which is popular.
From your husbands list, I really like:
Cora and Nora
I love Claire Josephine and Claire Victoria with your last name.
I’m kind of weirded out by the idea that your husband “approves” and “deems acceptable” names, because while both partners should have veto power, no one is an almighty name arbiter. Hopefully that was just some humorous hyperbole on your part, and the list you present is names you BOTH agreed on.
Of the given names, I think Ellis is just passable as a brother for Davis, but as a sister it confuses matters and does make it harder to break away from the 2-syllable-ends-in-‘is’ structure. I don’t think Ada is too popular if you’re pronouncing it AY-da, which is different from the AD (like advertisement) sound that is so popular nowaday. However, Ada sounds too much like Davis for me.
I got tripped up saying Ada and Davis together, too. I think they sound similar even though they don’t look so similar. I love, love, love Clare. I love this spelling, because it was the spelling of the main character in The Time Traveler’s Wife, one of my all-time favorite books. This name has been my dream name for many reasons, and so I’ve always noticed if any one around me had the name. I’ve never met a disagreeable Clare/Claire. Unfortunately for me, my husband’s last name sounds bad with Clare. I hope you’ll consider this classic lovely name!
I do think that the “-is” ending is very noticeable, and were you to use Davis and Ellis I would definitely feel like a potential third child would also need an “-is” name. And while I don’t think an Ellison would be nicknamed Ellis unless you encouraged it, I do think that she’s doomed to a lifetime of people assuming she’s saying Allison.
I don’t think Ada is too popular at all. I’ve never met an Ada in real life, and I’m in a field where I encounter dozens of different children on a daily basis. Having said that, it does sound like Ava (fairly popular), and with Ada and Davis both sharing the long A sound you may then once again feel like you’ve backed yourself into a corner with a third baby needing to have that long A sound in the name as well.
Where I am, Cora, Nora, and Clare/Claire all seem to be significantly more popular than Ada, if popularity bothers you, although I think all of them are nice with both Davis and your last name, as are Ruth and Reese. (Reese is also unisex, of course, although I encounter way more female Reeses than male ones.)
I think Ellis Givens with a brother Davis is too much S-ending and sounds like two boys. However, I love Ellison if you nickname her Ellie or Ella rather than Ellis! Ellie & Davis definitely strike me as girl-boy and not too much S. I also love the combo of the cute/casual nickname Ellie/Ella with the more formal Ellison as a full name… gives your daughter options.
Ada Givens is lovely and I don’t think it’s too popular. Clare, Cora and Nora are also lovely. I think Reese sounds like an outlier name in terms of naming style for you guys… it seems more modern-unisex and not very classic. And Ruth is a vintage revival type of name just like Ada, Clare, Cora and Nora, and yet. Somehow those other names with a Davis sound vintage classic in a sweet and timeless way, whereas Ruth & Davis… I don’t know. It just reads kind of dusty and outdated to me but I can’t put my finger on why. I’m not a fan of Reese or Ruth in this sibset.
With a surname like Givens, you might want to be aware that if you go overly preppy classic with a first name, it may come off a bit rich upper crust, which may be a positive or negative for you. If that doesn’t bother you, I think a name like Ellis or Ellison add to that vibe. I think something simple, classic and sweet, such as Clare, would downplay it the most.
I’m not crazy about Ellis or Ellison with the sibling name Davis. Since a few people have suggested Ellie as a nickname, why not go with Ella as the real name? I like all the other names on the list so I thought I’d mix and match firsts and middles.
Ada Victoria
Clare Josephine
Cora Ann
Nora Josephine
Reese Victoria
Ruth Ann
Agree with other commenters that Ada and Davis are overly similar to my ear, which is a shame because Ada Lovelace was a pretty rocking lady and it would be cool to name a baby for her!
I like Reese but you may find that it is too masculine-sounding for your ear–the same problem as Davis and Ellis being assumed to be two boys. If that’s the case, maybe go with T[h]erese or T[h]eresa and nickname Reese.
Echoing others in that I’d like to know more about what YOU like. I personally don’t love Ellis or Ellison for a sister with Davis. If you want a surname, I would recommend Emerson, nickname Emmy, as I feel it leans more girl. I think Ada is very pretty, as are many other choices on the list. Reese makes me think you might like Avery? Other unisex options that you might persue: Quinn, Harper, Hadley
Some other suggestions, based on other names that were on the list:
Vera Josephine
Alice Victoria
Eva Annalee
Jane Annabel
Mabel Ruth
Lydia Josephine
Paige Victoria
Avery Ann
Lucia Josephine
Oh, what about Eilis?? I got excited when I saw the blog post because I thought it was this lovely Irish name used in the movie Brooklyn!! From Google:
“A common Irish name in the Middle Ages, it is a relative of Elizabeth and Isabella and perhaps even Alice, and can also be spelled Eilish. In the film, the name is pronounced AY-lish, though many Irish people would say EYE-lish.”
I am going to ditto what everyone else said about Ellis, and I’m not a big fan of Ellison. What about Elyce (rhymes-ish with Reese?) It has a similar sound to Ellis, but doesn’t lock you into that ending “s”.
Others have suggested Alice and Allison, and I adore both.
I love Clare with Davis, both five letters, both classic.
I’m a software programmer, so I have a warm place in my heart for Ada
My grandmother’s name is Ruth, so I’m a big fan. What about Sylvia?
I’m not feeling the names on the list are a match to Davis for some reason. Of course, if you love one it doesn’t matter but here are somed ideas of vintage girl names (but also spunky names like Davis):
Lila
Faye
Myra
Mira
I love Lila. Lila Givens is an awesome name.
Do you think he’d like Elliott? I know a baby girl with this name and it’s cute, but they just call her Ellie.
LOVE Elliott for a girl
And if you’re worried that people reading the sibling set would presume boy, you could spell it “Elyette”. I have friends that named their daughter that a few year ago.
I wouldn’t let the endings being similar be the thing that trips you up. My first 2 end in -in and -on. They are pronounced the same and I’ve never had one single comment on it. Then my third is a -is ending and it never felt weird to discontinue the “pattern” or whatever. Now with number 4 I feel like it doesn’t matter at all what ending we use. That being said, Davis and Ellis really do read as both masculine but if you can get past that initial question before they meet her then it’s no big deal.
If you want to try to compromise, how about Ella, Elise, or Eliana to honor his preference?
But not Ellis or Ellison, for all of the reasons already so well stated above.
I would rule out Ellis for being way too close to Davis, but I think Ellison would more likely be shortened to Ellie. However, I much prefer the other names you’re considering.
I’m assuming your husband’s “acceptable” list is a list of names you have discussed and you both like, though perhaps more slanted toward his preferences, otherwise we don’t have any idea of what names you like yourself. From that list I think Clare (love that spelling) matches beautifully with Davis. Clare Josephine gives you the cute nickname CJ , too :)
I like Nora as well; Nora Josephine. (I like Nora Ann except for the NAG initials.)
I like Ada, but I think it is hard to say with Davis.
Other suggestions:
Ann as a first name (a simple and classic name that feels fresh on a new baby) – for that matter, any of your potential middle names as a first name!
Eleanor (elements of Ellison and Nora)
Edith (since you like Ruth & Ada — Edie! Edith Victoria)
I also hope that some of those names deemed acceptable are names that you also like rather than him telling you the only options. That being said, it’s not a perfect world and not everyone has a relationship that is a two way street.
Ditto to other commenters: I’m not a fan of Ellis and Ellison for above reasons.
I happen to really love Ada. I think it’s a matter of what order you say the sibling set. Davis and Ada flow perfectly fine to me, where as I can see why people think the order of Ada and Davis kind of melt into each other. I’m a person who generally introduces my children from oldest to youngest so I don’t see Davis and Ada being a problem at all. Also, despite the popularity of Ava/Eva, Ada still remains relatively uncommon and fresh.
I’ve just recently met two little babes, one was a Ruth and one was Beth. They were so incredibly sweet and fresh. I haven’t come across a new baby with either of those names and it still has me smiling weeks later! Beth is similar to Ruth, so if you liked it I wonder if your husband would as well.
I would also suggest Esme or Vera.
Good luck!!
I love Claire Josephine, Ruth Victoria, and Claire Victoria, and Nora Josephine but my greatest concern is that YOU, too, like the name.
Most of the names on your list are short but all girl- except Ellis. For that reason I wouldn’t use Ellis. I’m not a fan of Ellis and Davis together regardless of gender. Just to close.
What about Josephine as a first? So many great nicknames: Jo, Josie, Fifi, Nina, Posey, Jojo, Jos,
What about Alice? Classic, feminine, and underused, in my opinion. I hope you’ll send an update on which name you choose!
I also think Alice and Alison are great names, regardless of their former popularity. I’d guess that Alice is on the rise already based on the vintage charm trend. But Alison would be way ahead of the curve, and unmistakably feminine.
We know a little girl named Ellisyn, and she either goes by her full name or by Ellie. I have never heard anyone call her Ellis.
I don’t like Ellis with Davis, but Ellison is nice. I also like Clare.
I agree Ellis is too close. For what it’s worth I’ve never met an Ellis and I would assume it’s a girl’s name.
If you’re going to stop at two kids, Elise is my favorite for you. The brother-sister near-matching endings are lovely together. Alice is also good in the case of a pair of siblings; I think it’s the familiarity that keeps the ending from feeling so prominent alongside Davis. If you’re planning #3, then all “-ss” endings lose their charm (though Davis, Alison, and S___ feels great to me.)
Ann/Anne as a first name is wonderful, too. Davis and Ann. Davis and Annie! Timeless!
I think that if you’re worried about Ada being too popular, Ellis, Ellison or any El name might be a problem. There are so many names that shorter to Ellie that however unusual the full name is there will be a lot of girls who answer to Ellie, more so than Ada.
I’ll repeat it because it’s important – what names do YOU love? What is your style? It would also be helpful to know if your husband has specific requirements (e.g. must start with certain letters, must not be more than 2 syllables) or if it’s a “finds fault in everything” filter
I love Ellis, but not with brother Davis. I’m not a fan of Ellison either. I would consider Elisa, Ellen, Alina, Elle
I like Ada. Not too popular, but Adeline is becoming very popular. I imagine most are nicknamed Addie not Ada, but it still might bother you. What about Adele? Ida? Edna? Jade?
I like Clare and Ruth. Reese has the same problems as Ellis for me. I might play around with some variations of Cora and Nora, some of which would allow him to use them as nicknames but give you more options. Coralie? Cordelia? Eleanor (ellis + nora)? Lenora? Liora? Thora? I really like Thora for you.
One other idea… Josephine for a fn? I like Josephine Ann. Or Joanna if you want to combine two honor names into one.
Update on Naming Baby Girl Givens:
Swistle, thank you for the advice here! We took your strategy to heart and my husband selected a list of his top eight names. From there, I narrowed it to the top (4) names listed below, ranked in my current order of preference. This was SUCH a refreshing exercise! I’m also happy to report that we took the advice from you and your readers and nixed Ellis – yay!
Ellison “Elle” Ann (Here, we would either call her Elle or choose to keep Ellison whole)
Clare Victoria
Clara Ann
Ada Victoria
I LIKE all of the names in the top four, but I have to admit, I’m not 100% in love with any of them. At the end of the day, I’m still feeling like we haven’t found “the one”!
I feel better about shortening Ellison to Elle, but if we’re doing that, should we just go with Elle? I like Clare/Clara as a first but question their current popularity as we don’t want anything too popular. And, while I do like Ada, I hear what folks mentioned in the comments about the difficulty of saying Davis and Ada together. Too much a?
I would love to hear your thoughts on the name you think would be the best fit and if you have any new suggestions that we should consider!
Thanks so very much,
Kristen
glad you guys were able to talk it through! my favorite from your list is definitely Clare Victoria–I LOVE Clare spelled that way, it seems so light and fresh, and I love it with Davis, and you could call her Clarey, and really I just think it’s an insanely great name.