Dear Swistle,
I am four months pregnant with our second girl (did the early blood test) and desperately want some input on our naming situation. My husband and I have been married for almost six years now and have been constantly playing the “What would we name our future children?” game. We have a long list of boys names we love and we generally like and dislike the same boy names. HOWEVER. In six years of playing this game, we came up with exactly one girls’ name and we’ve already given it to our first daughter: Lydia Belle. The name Lydia has been my favorite since I read it in a book when I was nine. When I told my husband what it was, I *may* have prefaced it by saying, “If you hate this name, part of me might die.” He said ok, suggested the middle name, and there was never any question about our daughter’s name after that. Around the same time we discussed my favorite name my husband said his favorite girls name was Jennica and I was…not enthusiastic. I love classic girls names like Charlotte, Emma, Isabelle, etc, and to me Jennica is a solid 90’s name. I told him that I didn’t hate it (I really have nothing against this name, I’m fine with the way it sounds and all, it’s just not my style) but it definitely wasn’t in my top ten. I also said I’d be more amenable if we spelled it Jenica (more traditional spelling that was used in places like Russia before the 90s).
Well after we found out we’re having another girl, my husband starting referring to her as Jenica. When I protested, he said, “But we used your favorite name, why can’t we use mine? You said you were ok with Jenica. Lydia wasn’t in my top ten, but you really liked it, so I said yes.” The problem is, he has a point. And there aren’t any other names I’m REALLY liking right now. I have a few I like, but none of them are grabbing me, so part of me agrees with him. I’m ok with the name, and I don’t have one I love, so why not let him use his favorite name? The other part of me, though, doesn’t want to use a name I’m not in love with. I’ve been poring over name lists and discussing names with my husband, but today he admitted he is having a hard time giving any other name a fair shot because of how much he loves Jenica. He’s told me I could give her whatever middle name I want, but he’s really feeling that Jenica is the perfect name for this girl. I felt exactly the same way about Lydia, so I understand where he’s coming from. What would you do? Any great suggestions of names similar to Jenica that I could get him to love? Or should I start learning to love it for his sake? Does it sound too 90s to anyone but me?
Oh, and a few notes: I dislike the nicknames Jen and Jenny. Also, our last name is Van Leeuwen (pronounced van loo-en), so neither of us wants to use a name that is hard to pronounce or spell. The only name we both kind of like is Anaelle (pronounced on-eye-yell), but we’ve already agreed that if we used it, it would have to stay in middle name territory (for above reason).
Any advice would be great! Thanks!
Megan
It WOULD be nice if your husband could have his first choice this time, since you got your first choice last time. But it’s difficult to compare how much he liked the name Lydia to how much you like the name Jenica; it could be that it’s not at all a fair swap. And the quickness/easiness with which he agreed to Lydia, compared to the difficulty you’re having with the name Jenica even though you really, really want him to give him his choice this time, tells me it is indeed not a similar sacrifice.
I am influenced as well by agreeing with you that the name Jenica sounds a little dated: it makes me think of Jessica and Jennifer and Erica and Jenna and Nicole, while Lydia is a current vintage-revival choice.
Well. As I was trying to figure out what to advise, it occurred to me that Jenica also reminds me of Annika, which is a much more current choice, and is similar to the name Anaelle you both like. I like Lydia and Annika together in a way I don’t feel about Lydia and Jenica, and the nickname Annie has a sweet classic sound. Liddy and Annie! I have a strong feeling about this, like I want to grab a fistful of your shirt-front in one hand and your husband’s shirt-front in my other hand and say “ANNIKA” very intensely until you both nod.
It is great when baby-naming can work out perfectly fairly, but it rarely does: one parent cares a lot more about names, or one parent has better family names or a better family, or one parent’s surname is used for all the children, or WHATEVER. I do feel it’s important for you both to feel happy about the names, and I hope your husband WAS and IS happy about the name Lydia—but whether or not he was/is, I think the fairest of all is for you both to be happy with this next child’s name. You are being so understanding and well-intentioned about this, and it makes me even more hope that this all works out beautifully for both of you.
For now I suggest giving everything a little time. I suggest that he pretend there is some reason Jenica is off the table (for example, he could pretend that your first daughter had been named Jenica), and see if he can find more names he likes WITHOUT trying to compare them to the name Jenica. And in the meantime, the name may grow on you—or perhaps you or he will come up with another option you both love. I don’t think it would be a good idea to commit to it when you’re uncertain AND there’s still lots of time left.
Name update:
Hi Swistle!
I wrote in over a year ago about my baby naming dilemma and I’m finally back for an update! First, my brief explanation of why it took me so long to get back to you. My husband is in medical school and had applied to transfer schools. My daughter was born on July 4th and on July 5th my husband was notified that he had been accepted at his new school and needed to be there by the 14th. We packed up everything and were on our way by July 12th with a 20 month old and an 8 day old! It’s funny to look back on now, but it was definitely super stressful. All the excitement and stress of moving made me completely forget about coming back to update you, so I apologize that it has taken so long!
I read your advice and all the comments and was surprised by the number of people who thought Jenica fit with Lydia. I showed it to my husband as well and he was a little annoyed that I made it sound like he just AGREED to the name Lydia and insisted that he really liked the name, too, he just didn’t go on about it since I was already sold. I pointed out that there was no way I could have known that since he didn’t tell me in the first place! Men. We sat down and made a deal about the name: For two weeks, I would call the baby Jenica whenever I thought about her or talked about her. In exchange, he would spend those two weeks calling her his second favorite name (which happened to be Mira). After about a week of this, he suggested using the middle name Rose and at that point I knew he was going to get his favorite name because part of me loved the sound of Jenica Rose. At the end of the two weeks I couldn’t imagine calling her anything other than Jenica. Even my old favorite names didn’t seem to fit her anymore. I still wasn’t head over heels in love with the name, but I knew it was her name. My husband was a little shy of committing to the name, though, because he was worried that my dislike/apathy for the name would make me resent it. So in a weird twist of fate, I had to convince HIM that we should name her Jenica. She’s now eight months old and we definitely picked the right name for her! The more I hear it the less dated it sounds to me and I’ve had many people tell me they love her name and/or the spelling. Oh, and since I dislike the nickname Jenny, we call her Jena for short!
I’ve attached two pictures, one of Miss Jenica Rose at six months old and another of her with her sister Lydia Belle (age 2) when she was seven months. Thank you again for your advice!
Team Annika for sure! Jenica sounds very dated, not to mention a bit like a made up name, and I agree, it was NICE of your husband to agree to your first name, but that doesn’t mean you had a binding contract that he could name your second child. You just have to get this hard conversation over with now, before it becomes too late.
Chiming in in support of Jenica/Jenika/Jennica. It’s not my style, either, but after I said it a dozen times, it strikes my ear pleasantly! I think it would be a nice name to go with Lydia. I like that they both end in the same “a” sound without repeating any other sounds in the name. Maybe you can have a special nickname that is between you and her, like Nica/Nika, or “J” or something unrelated like Peaches or Lulu or Bug or whatever you end up calling her. I think part of your reluctance may also stem from this being the second child. I had two boys first and with the second boy, all the name choices seemed a little less exciting because it felt like we had already chosen the best name ever! for boy #1. I was 100% sure with our name choice for boy #1 and only 80% sure with boy #2 but now I love their names both equally.
Jenica sounds very pretty, but also dated and a completely different style and popularity level from Lydia. If I were you, I would sit him down with the Social Security stats and show him that the issue isn’t anybody’s feelings about Jenica, it’s that the component parts of Jenica just aren’t where we’re going nowadays. Then I would leave him alone with the current 1000 and let him come up with other ideas, so he can feel more “ownership” of your second daughter’s name. Of course, whether that sounds like a good strategy to you depends on your tolerance for modern names vs Jenica.
I think Annika is a great idea. I’d also point out that Veronica is almost perfect to go with Lydia. Also, it may be worth your while to scan over some lists of girls names from Russia and bordering countries to see if there are more -ika and -ica type names that you could love.
Or maybe the place to start is asking your husband what it is that he likes about Jenica. Is it the inventiveness? Or does he have a positive association with Jenny that makes him want to be able to use it as a nickname (maybe you could steer him towards Virginia, or Jane/Janey). Does he like the J? Is it the personal association of it having been his favorite name for so long?
But I’m also on team Jenica-is-fine. It is pretty. If it was the name of some obscure flower, it’d be on everyone’s list as the next big nature name, with people writing in wondering whether they could use it to honor Grandma Jennifer.
Yes! Excellent point. I recently found myself thinking about the name Jennifer, and how pretty it sounds when I think of it afresh. (This was brought on by the book The Country Bunny and the Little Golden Shoes, as told to Jenifer). Seeing the alternate spelling with just one ‘n’ helped me see it differently, something on par with Celtic names like Rowan, Declan, etc. (Laura Wattenberg says it’s Welsh for Guineviere).
All this is to say that if you choose Jennica or Jenica or Jenika, it may well be an early-early 70’s revival name, which may actually seem more and more cool over the next couple of decades. Best of luck!
Ooo Annika would be AWESOME! :)
Oh man. This is a doozy. I think it was incredibly sweet and awesome of your husband to agree to Lydia even if it wasn’t his favorite, but there was never any agreement made that you were going to use his name for your second daughter. And no parent should feel guilted/forced into a name for their child (not that he’s pressuring you, but it’s clearly not your favorite). I completely understand where he is coming from, but while Lydia was not his favorite, he clearly liked it enough to give the name to his daughter, which is more than you like Jenica.
I love Swistle’s suggestion of Annika. Like a lot. I think it’s perfect. If your husband doesn’t like that, then maybe tell him to come up with a list of names he likes for you to look at as well. I totally agree with Kerry that you need to pinpoint what he likes about Jenica in order to come up with alternate ideas.
Good luck!
Okay I agree with you on Jenica. I also like the names that you listed as your style. I do think Annika is perfect! But I’m here to add that I have recently come around to loving Jenny. I always thought of it as a 80s name, but we read a children’s book from the 20s or 30s with a Jenny character and ever since then I have seen it as a classic, sweet name. I think Lydia and Jenny go well together!
I’m mostly inclined to agree with your husband. You got your #1 choice and now he should get to have his. It’s seems horribly unfair to deny him this when he was so agreeable to Lydia, especially since Lydia is obviously not his style.
However, I also think both parents should be at least OK with the name. He was OK with Lydia, but you aren’t OK with Jenica. I think it’s fair to suggest other names that seem similar to Jenica but that you like better. But if he doesn’t warm up to any of them, I think you’ll just have to learn to like Jenica. A nickname like Nica helps, and would perhaps lessen the Jen/Jenny association for you. Annika is a fantastic suggestion. I’ll also suggest Vivica, Danica and (more of a stretch) Veronica. If the Jen/Jenny component is more the reason your husband likes the name, maybe you’d feel better about something like Ginevra, Geneva or Genevieve. Jessamyn/Jessmine also strikes me as similar to Jenica but a bit more classic feeling.
I agree with your husband. You got to use your favorite name. He didn’t make a fuss and from your letter I can’t really even tell if he liked Lydia. Since you picked it when you were 9 you would have probably used it even if it wasn’t making a come back so I don’t think that’s a fair argument against Jenica. Could it be that, like most of us name nerds, you thought you would get to choose the name for each of your children and this feels like you aren’t? You don’t have anything you like better and your one complaint is that it feels very 90’s but I suspect that wouldn’t have swayed you on Lydia. You can use the nickname Nika or something that is a combination of her first and middle names and stay away from the Jen/Jenny For example if you used Jenica Leigh, you could call her Caliegh. Be creative on the middle name and come up with something you love that will make a nick name you love and once you are holding her in your arms the name will become her and you will love them both.
I actually fall in support of your husband, mostly just because you don’t have a strong second choice. Plus, I’ve never known anyone with the name jenica, so to me it doesn’t seem as time-stamped as the similar Jennifer and Jessica. In fact, I find Jenica to be a beautiful name and very pleasing to the ear, as is Lydia. They both have the three syllable, ends in “a” thing going. And I think Lyddie and Jennie are precious together…just as precious as Lyddie and Annie. My great-aunt, who would be over 100 were she still living, was named Jennie (full name Jennie Pearl), so it feels classic and vintage like Lydia. (In fact,mean I suggest Jenica Pearl? Lydia Belle and Jenica Pearl? LOVE.)
Of course, Annika is pretty, too, and more on trend, so if your husband agrees, it would be nice, too. And I generally feel that the mom should have a little more say, since she is, after all, carrying and birthing said baby, but in this case, it seems like it would be a nice gesture. You chose your favorite name, don’t have a strong favorite for this baby, and he now can get a chance to use his favorite.
Also, I do feel like Jenica is more compatible with Lydia than Anaelle, which also seems like it would be mispronounced and misspelled constantly, while Lydia wouldn’t face that same issue….
Good luck! I adore the name Lydia Belle! Look forward to hearing what her little sister is named, too!
I am a name enthusiast, yet I have never before encountered Jennica (in any form). I am British Australian and currently live in Switzerland, to put it in perspective. I share this because you say you wanted a familiar and easy name to pronounce.
Annika on the other hand, I am very familiar with!
Best of luck with your choice and please send Swistle an update.
It’s hard to tell how much of a compromise Lydia was for your husband, so it’s harder to tell if they’re equal compromises. But that said, naming babies is HARD. Like hard enough that I’m actually going to buy a baby naming book this time around and see what my husband and I can suss out after having such an easy time the last go round.
As for the suggestions, Annika is a great name. I thought of Ginevra and Genevieve that another commenter pointed out. Veronica is also lovely. Good luck!
I’m siding more with your husband–especially if you can come up with a middle name you love. One of our daughters initially went by both her first and middle names (both family names) because we were not in agreement on what she should be called. By her toddler years, she had decided on her favorite nickname from the combination. Also, I think Lydia and Jenica sound very compatible.
MONICA! How about Monica?
I think if we all liked the name Jenica we would be siding with your husband. Would you have picked Lydia if you knew #2 would be Jenica? It’s not like you made this deal in advance, he is just now deciding he gets to pick. You husbands vote can weigh heavily but I don’t think that gives him a right to pick a name you hate. A compromise could be reached but you need to know more about what he likes about Jenica.
Oh! Monica!
My daughter is named Annika and so I am biased in my support of your using that name too! You should! I love it more every day, and we get tons of compliments on it.
This one hit home for me. While I think Annika is a great compromise I lean towards letting your husband chose his daughter’s name and you find a middle name you love. We have 4 children and my husband always deferred to me for their names – with his veto obviously. With our 3rd he discovered the name Declan and fell in love. I agreed to have it as a middle name for our boy, but we had a girl. When #4 was a boy the first thing he said was he had his Declan. There were some discussions because the name had lost it’s luster to me, but he loved it. And when it came down to it this was his child too. I chose the middle name (my great-grandfather’s name that he wasn’t a big fan of) and to tell you the truth he is so a Declan. And the two of them have this huge bond and I always wonder if that may have been part of it.
It strikes me that your husband probably feels a bit manipulated for the Lydia choice- how does someone say no to a name when you say you “might die inside if you can’t use it.”
I would want to know why Jenica is your husbands favorite name before suggesting an approach. If it is an honor name, I want suggest you try to learn to like it. If it is the name of second grade crush, I would see if there other similar names he might like.
Also it is the beginning of the name Jen or the end of name -ica that he likes more. Annika isn’t going to be that great an option to him if he loves the Jen part of the name. In that case may be Gemma would be or Genievieve would persuade your husband.
So funny. I was thinking about this last night when I was trying to fall asleep (ha) and also came up with Gemma/Jemma and Genevieve as more current similar names. (Although I still maintain that Jenica doesn’t have that time stamp, since it is so much less common than dated Jennifer and Jessica.)
Other possibilities…Angelica? jessalyn?
Your husband sounds like a really nice guy to agree to Lydia even though he didn’t love it. Time for you to be nice and agree to Jennica. It’s a perfectly fine name, not used very often and the style doesn’t clash with Lydia, in my opinion. Appellation Mountain speculates it could have Romanian roots, and I think that’s why it doesn’t clash with Lydia- there’s something Eastern/Mediterranean/Byzantine to Jenica (my preferred spelling). http://appellationmountain.net/jenica-baby-name-of-the-day/
This is tough but in this case I think Mother knows best. Lydia is an ancient name whilst Jenicca is a modern English invention from combining Jennifer and Jessica. I have a feeling the root of this name love needs to be probed and probably belonged to a girl he once fancied. You still have 5 months to change his mind and settle on a name he will love and you will at minimum like.
I too agree that if your husband loves this name it would be nice for you to use it and then you pick the middle. Unless you absolutely hate it, but I don’t get that impression from your comments just that you don’t love it. From my expierience I’ve found even if we dislike a name once it’s attached to a child we do tend to view it in a softer light.
I do think that Jenica has a pleasing sound and goes fine with Lydia. My first impression of it was more that it was a made up name rather than dated. Although I have to admit that dated was probably my second impression. Still I strongly do not agree that a name must be current or on trend, especially if a parent loves it.
My first thought was “Try to talk him into Genevieve instead?” That matches the style of Lydia and still gives you the Jen sound.
As a Jennie myself, I think Jenica is ok. Somewhat dated but not terrible. The more I hear it, the more it sounds better.
I got my first pick on our first child’s name. My husband picked from my top 2 picks for our 2nd. So for our 3rd child, he said it was his turn to pick. Thankfully both of his picks (one for a boy and one for a girl, since we didn’t find out the gender ahead of time) were names that I liked and went well with the first two children. If I hadn’t been keen on the names, I might have tried to talk him around. Although it does seem fair to let him have more of a say this time around.
Hmmm tough one. From an outsider point of view I think Lydia and Jenica are cute together. Yes, different styles, but when I say them out loud they sound great. My two daughters have different style names too, but I love them both. I am tempted to say ‘go for it!’. But… I know I would have serious difficulties myself choosing a name I didn’t fully support. I probably wouldn’t do it. I would probably ask your husband to look further, but agree to use Jenica as a fallback in case nothing else stands out.
How about:
Milica (I like Millie better than Jenny)
Melina (A bit softer sound)
Nicola (Could still use the nn Nica)
Camila (Similar sounds, but better match with Lydia, plus Cami is cute)
Bianca (I love Bea)
A Jun- name? (Junie is sweet)
Good luck!
I am all for being inclusive of both parents’ input with names, but am curious where he picked up on Jennica/Jenica as I’ve never encountered it and I read name blogs every day. I would say it’s not consistent with your request for an easy name to spell/recognize.
I know a lot of men (my husband included) suggest things they hear from action movies and video games, so you may want to get to the root of his connection with the name before dismissing it. If it were the middle name of a grandmother then I’d be more inclined to see his side.
My approach would be to convince him of Annika, Genevieve or something related that matched Lydia a little closer. Also, if the baby has his last name I’d say your input should weigh in a little more.
Ooo, I wonder if he’d go with Genevieve Annika, with a NICKNAME pronounced Jenica? That would be pretty cute, and a nice compromise.
SWISTLE>>>> You are so incredibly smart!! BEST IDEA EVER. Or Geneva would be another one.
Or other names that you could stretch to work with this:
Gemma
Georgia or Georgianna or Georgette
You could even stretch a Juliet or Julia ….
Would your husband like Giada? It has some of the same sounds but is more stylistically closer to Lydia then Jennica. Lydia and Giada.
If you guys end up with Jennica, I would definitely push for the spelling Jenica. It definitely takes away the 80-90’s feel of Jessica and adds a bit more cultural feel to it, makes it feel a bit more interesting. Also, you could use Jia (Gee-a) as a nn if you wanted to, which i think is spunky and uncommon.
Good luck and keep us posted!
Brill. Or Jeannette Annika.
YES YES YES THIS!
I absolutely think, because in no way did you say “okay we did mine last time so you get yours this time” that he can pull that card. Not to mention, you should have veto power, so if you don’t want to use the name, then it’s veto’d. I will agree, if it was the name of a great grandma or something, then I’d be more inclined to let him have more sway. But if it’s just a name he’s heard and liked, then I think having it as a nickname is perfect.
I’m in a similiar situation. My 2-year-old daughter has a long Welsh name that was my husband’s all-time favorite name but one that I would have never, ever picked from a list of 100+ names. I found a nickname for it that I liked, and that was that. I like the fact that she has her dad’s favorite name.
Now I’m pregnant again, and my husband has made it clear that he’s deferring to me on this name. Which is great, but I’m realizing now how important it is for me to have a name that my husband is excited about. I think I’m the kind of person who likes to get excited about a name because someone else is excited about it. Does that make sense?
So I’d vote to suggest Annika and Monica, but if those are a no-go, then to go with Jenica. I kind of like the sound of it. I had never heard the name before, but it sounds fresh and lyrical and a good match, I think, for Lydia.
All the discussion is based on the idea that you *chose* Lydia, and your husband somehow had no agency, and therefore he gets to *chose* Jenica and you have no agency now.
Reality check. You *suggested* Lydia, and he *agreed* to it.
It’s fair for him to now *suggest* a name, but the situation is not the same unless you *agree* to it as he did with Lydia. Just because he agreed with your suggestion doesn’t mean you have to agree with his – consider, weigh heavily, compromise, etc, yes, but not agree.
Except she told her husband she might die inside if she couldn’t use Lydia. I see that more as insisting on it rather than suggesting it.
I don’t think the husband should be “punished” for deciding not to fight his wife on an issue she made such a big deal.
Exactly. Husband has full agency and ability to chose that he agreed to the name Lydia. And coming back now and saying “Since I agreed to your favorite name, you have to agree to my favorite name” is plenty manipulative on its own.
I love Swistle’s suggestion of Annika. Bonus: it’s a character from Astrid Lindgren’s Pippi Longstocking books and is a classic Nordic name.
(I also love the image of Swistle grabbing two fistsful of shirts and saying Annika intensely to convince you).
I have to side with your husband on this one, I think you should let him have Jennica or Jenica. I guess you didn’t know you were locking yourself into letting him pick your second daughter’s name when he let you pick Lydia the first time around, which sucks and that probably shouldn’t be viewed as an ironclad contract, but… here we are:
He loves Jennica. You like it well enough. He is willing to compromise on the spelling that you like better. You get to pick whatever middle name you want. You got to pick your very favourite name in the world for your first daughter. You don’t really have another name that you feel strongly about in place of Jennica.
So, if the question is whether you owe it to him to let him name this daughter Jennica because you got to name Lydia, I guess the answer is no you don’t HAVE to let him, but I think it would be the nice thing to do here. If it helps any, because Jennica was much much less common than the Jessica / Jennifer / Ashley etc, it doesn’t strike me as NINETIES the way those other names do.
I hadn’t heard Jenica before, but I do like it. However, if you don’t like it that’s an issue.
Sounds like you need to have a frank conversation with your husband and see if you can come up with a compromise you will both be happy with. I would start by asking WHY he is so keen on Jenica. That will give you an idea of what levers you can pull in the negotiation.
– If he is set on choosing the name because you chose the last one, then maybe he is willing to come up with a few more options.
– If he really likes the sound, then other names like Annika, Danica, Genevieve, etc. might suit him.
– If the name honors a specific person or comes from a favorite movie/book/etc. then maybe there is another way to honor that person/idea (e.g. the person’s middle name, the author’s name, etc.).
– If he is set on that particular name, no exceptions, then maybe he would be open to using it as a middle name that he calls her sometimes, and coming up with a first name you both like. Or maybe you could agree to use it as her first name, but plan to call her by a middle that you choose.
If he is unwilling to budge on using Jenica as her first name, here are a few ideas that might help you like it:
– Call her J or JJ. I agree Jen and Jenny are out of fashion, but Jenna is cute.
– Pick a middle name that gives another nn option, such as Jenica Charlotte, nn Jacie (JC) or Jenica Oliva, nn Jo
– Pick an unrelated nickname you love. Who says a Jenica can’t be nicknamed Daisy or Mimi or Grace? Though, using a formal name like Charlotte or Isabelle as a nickname might seem odd without a reason.
I am in a very similar situation, except not pregnant with a second girl at the moment. But, if I ever AM pregnant with a second girl, I will be in this situation. I have loved the name Felicity since I was 10 and read the American Girl books. I told my husband I loved it from the first time we spoke about baby names, and while he didn’t agree to it, he also did not veto it. I continued to offer it up as a suggestion every time baby names came up. He continued to not veto it and not love it. By the time I was pregnant with a girl, he basically thought of it as our daughters name even though he never agreed to it, and never loved it. Felicity is 16 months old.
We talk about baby names all the time. He loves the name Amelia. He feels like because we used Felicity, that if we have another girl it should be his choice. He knows I do not love or hate the name Amelia. I think its fine, but too popular, and dislike the initial A. But, I feel like his reasoning is fair. Why should I deny him the joy he gave me in agreeing to Felicity? I am not 100% sold on Amelia. Mostly I am hoping that, should we actually be pregnant with another girl, he will come to decide its too popular on his own. I continue to suggest alternatives. But, if push comes to shove, and he still loves Amelia, I will agree to it, and expect to have the final say on the middle name.
So, I guess since you say you really are OK with Jenica, that I would be on his side that you should go with it, though offering alternatives doesn’t hurt. Anikka (Ahn-ih-ka), Annika, Genevieve, Eugenia, Veronica, Jenna, Josephine, Georgiana, Georgina, Jessamine, Danica, or Jeanette for example.
On a side note, I really dislike Anaelle. If it visually way too close to Anal or Anally, and on top of that hard to pronounce, so people are likely to say something like Ann- Al-ah etc.
Please no not Anaelle! I’m so sorry if this offends you or hurts your feelings, but I see it and it seems so close to “anal”…almost like a joke. I really don’t mean to be offensive– it just seems ripe for constant punning and double-takes.
Besides that I don’t know how helpful I can be as I’m with you, I don’t really like Jenica/Jennica. I do, however, like Nica and think it sounds classy, stylish, and distinctive. Would he be open to that as a nickname?
Ditto on Anaelle. I don’t know how to say it politely, but to me that name seems like a VERY BAD IDEA.
I have never known a Jenica. The more I say it though, the more I quite like it. It’s the Romanian form of Jane!
This is a hard one. At the end of the day I think your Husband may feel that he COMPROMISED when he AGREED to Lydia and now he would like you to do the same. You do not say that you dislike Jenica, and you don’t have any others picked out either, but you do seem to have a problem with the names not ‘going’ together style wise. Does that really matter if they sound good together though? And they do!
Annika/Annica is a great suggestion and I would like to suggest Joanna, similar sound to Jenica but ‘fits’ better with Lydia. Liddy and Joey/Annie. Maybe Nicola?
Maybe you could use a Dutch version of Jane to go with your surname. Janna or Hanna? Liddy and Janie are adorable together!
Please let us know what you decide and good luck!
Another vote for Annika here, but I would as I have one! We pronounce it as Arnica, and it can also be pronounced Onnica if it’s the pronounciation of Anaelle that you both like about that name. I second or third Danica, Geneva, or Jemima? Guinevere?
Anika (my Midwest accent requires me to phoneticize this as ah-ni-ka) would be a great compromise between Jenica and Anaelle. Ani would be a very cute nn. Maybe Anika Brielle?
I have only heard the name pronounced this way…ON-nick-kuh. Didn’t realize that ANN-nick–kin was an alternative. I like them both.
Just to add that if you really want to fight it, and you use your husband’s family name, you might point that out to him.
If you do like Jenica enough though, you might just agree. Honestly we have a baby with a name that neither of us like that much ahead of time, but was an important honor name, and now that name is the name of my child, and so it is defacto the best possible name.
Another vote for Jenica, nn Nica! Jen does sound dated to me, but Nica sounds fresh and sweet.
If you can get on board with Jenica, I think that would be ideal and technically the most ‘fair’. It’s normal for a 2nd name to feel not as amazing as the one name you’ve loved since childhood. But since marriage hopefully is two people working together, I think he should be willing to not have this be set in stone until you both say yes.
I actually know a Jenica, born in 1978 (I was born in 81 for reference) and my oldest daughter is a Lydia—if that gives you any ammunition in the name style gap argument. By default people have called her Jenny, and she has chosen to spell is Jeni. So to my ear it definitely sounds dated and clashes with Lydia, but obviously the vast majority of people won’t have a similar experience.
I don’t know exactly how old you are, but it sounds to me more like your husband liking the names he heard on girls in his generation, something I’ve found pretty common in men. And just because the name is his favorite, doesn’t mean that you have to use it, there are lots of times one or the other parent cannot use a favorite name for a variety of reasons. My husband’s favorite name for a girl was Aphasia. Like the disease. Needless to say, we didn’t go with that.
As everyone else suggested find out why your husband likes this name better than all others. Find out exactly where he heard it first if you can. And then see if you can get him to agree to a set of names that allows him the nickname Jenica if it’s really that important to him. That seems like a fair compromise. Yes, you did get to use your favorite name for Lydia, but you didn’t know at the time that you were relinquishing control of the next baby naming experience.
Good luck! And please do update :)
My first alternative suggestion was going to be Anabel/Annabelle, because it is an easily pronounced and spelled name similar to Anaelle. But Lydia already has Belle in her name… would that be too much, or a neat connection? You could even do:
Lydia Belle, and
Anna Belle
Anya Belle or Ana Belle would work, too. Or Ana Brielle, as someone above mentioned.
If my understanding is correct, the father chose Belle, and also likes Anaelle, right? So it’s seems possible to find another -elle name that would please him, and be a better style match to Lydia. Gabrielle? Luelle? Murielle? Arielle. Roselle. Estelle. Rafelle. Ella. Eleanora. Elise. Eloisa. Elsie. Elaine. Elspeth.
If he has moved on from El/-elle sounds to -ica, I vote for Monika, nn Mona. Lydia & Mona! Annika is definitely inspired as well.
It feels rude to say so, but my first response to Jennica was, “Didn’t the Duggars use that?” (I don’t think they really did.) I love some of the J/G alternatives suggested, especially Gemma, and I’d add Germaine.
I’ll add one more idea. Do Jenika to play up your Dutch last name and have the name read more Euro and less nineties. It could even seem like an honor name!! I know this risks kreative spelling concerns when you prefer classic, but if it’s the Erica/Jessica/Monica thing that is a turn off, a svelte k could make a difference. And remember that while these girls will be siblings forever, they will have independent lives so complete style compatibility does not matter to them-only to you. Good luck!!
Love that alternate spelling!
Oh also I love the idea of Pearl as a middle name-that really unites the styles a little more.
Since you like Anaelle, I’d like to suggest my own name, Angelle. I’ve never seen it suggested on a name-blog before but I receive compliments on my name almost any time I tell it to someone who has never heard it before. I live in South Louisiana and because the name is Cajun French, most people in my region have probably encountered at least one Angelle before. It is pronounced awn-zhelle. I also like another reader’s suggestion on Bianca for your daughter. Good luck!
Beautiful!
I can’t figure out how to pronounce Anaelle in a way that doesn’t sound like anal. Anal with a southern drawl.
I love the Annika suggestion. Lydia and Annika sound great together. I also love the middle name suggestion of pearl.
Lydia Belle and Annika Pearl
Another name instead of Jenica, which I think is too harsh sounding with Lydia. Is Janae. (Ja-naye)
Random names that I think sound good with Lydia are
Rebecca
Faye
Vera
Norah
Miriam
I would be all for you getting to use your favorite name for your first child, and he getting to use his favorite name for your second child, except it really doesn’t sound like it was spelled out like that. Or, if it was clear that that was the tradeoff for him, it wasn’t clear for you. Which kind of leaves you with the rules being changed mid-game. Maybe your husband feels like he compromised on Lydia’s name, where you feel like he agreed.
Even though it is late in the game, would it help to clarify the guidelines? Is it “Parent gets to pick top choice and name kid” Or is it “Parent gets to pick top choice to name kid and spouse gets veto power.”?
I agree with all of the above advice to figure out why he wants to use this name.
Is he possibly feeling a little left out and wanting to also get to feel like he has equal say in naming a child? In which case, he still can be the one to name the kiddo, just with your approval. (Obviously, he gave his for Lydia.)
I am someone with a name that was very popular a generation ago, and it is no fun. Everyone with your name is OLD and then when you get older, you have a similar name to your bosses or their wives. And you always feel a little outdated and fuddy-duddy. (OK, I guess that is all my experience as opposed to what everyone experiences.) But I do think that Jenica sounds very 1990s and would not be fun to have for a 2016 child. So I also object on those grounds.
(Many many many of us do not get to use our favorite name, and because the other parent dislikes it is a very valid reason.)
Oh, and I also agree that if the children (and/or you) have his last name, that is another thing to point out to him.
I really like Jenica, and to my ear it doesn’t sound dated. I knew far more young Lydias in the 80s and 90s.
I adore Annika, but it is becoming incredibly popular where I live- I know three under 3 within my small community- while Jenica has a familiar sound but is less common. “Jenika Pearl” is a lovely euro-vintage name that sounds right in line with Lydia Belle.
But more than our opinions of the name, i think you should really find out from your husband what he loves about it. What feelings does the name Jenica evoke for him? Maybe hearing what he sees when he thinks of the name will help you either frame it in a way that you can come to love it to, or it will spark a compromise name that you both love.
Best of luck!
In a vacuum in which I knew nothing about name origins, name trends, or how the various phonetic components go in and out of style, I’d assume the names Lydia and Jennica had similar origins. They definitely go together, no clash other than what I actually do know about their origins.
I too like Annica/Annika better than Jennica, and would chime in with the other commenters above–except that I know two people by this name (one Annica, one Anika), and both are 42ish. So for what it’s worth, the name does not read (to me) as more current than Jennica.
More importantly, though, if I were your husband, I would absolutely want the feeling of having chosen the name myself, after the way “Lydia” came about. He may not have felt this way when the first name was chosen; in fact, he may have realized how special it can feel to have the final say in a child’s name only after he saw the experience you had with Lydia. Might I suggest asking him for a list of his top 10 choices AFTER Jennica, and then choosing from that list? If I were him, I don’t think anything short of that would satisfy me here. :-/
Add me to the list of people who think Anaelle is unworkable. Teenagers are cruel.
I empathize with your situation, as I am in the *exact* same boat right now with my husband’s apparently all time favorite name, Dylan for #2, due in a few months. I have other ideas for him, but no other name that I am particularly attached to. I’ve spent the last six months trying to use Swistle’s “pretend this name is not possible” trick to get him to at least come up with a few other options. That helped a bit as I realized this might be the best we can get to based on the other wild names on the list. Also, I’ve been trying to use the name for the past week just to see if I can get it to feel like my kid. I say all this to echo the suggestion above to tell him you are trying to get on board with the name but really want to understand what he loves about it. Ask him to be a salesperson and sell the name Jenica to you. Then you can really understand what he loves about it. Also, I suggest trying to call the baby by Jenica to see if you can get on board. All that said, if you ultimately don’t like it I don’t think you have to agree just because you got your first choice for #1. Both should be a compromise. If he agreed to Lydia for your first that was his decision. I still think you can veto this one, or at least ask him to come up with another 5 names he likes a lot for you to pick from. Good luck!
I really like the suggestion to ask him to sell the name to the letter writer. That’s a brilliant idea.
I disagree with everyone who says let your husband have his way. It doesn’t matter if he is being sweet. 99.9% of men don’t care about names the way moms do. At our house–the person who cares most wins when there is no compromise. There is no compromise. Therefore, you have to decide who cares most. My hubby nixed Clementine and he hated it more than I loved it so he won that one. I loved Harriet more than he hated it so I won that one. Of our eight children, two of the names my hubby still dislikes–but he thinks about it . . . never. Whereas, if we hadn’t used those names I would have resented my husband until the end of time and felt sad for at least 50 years. Only you know your hubby’s personality, but my guess is that you care more than him so you should definitely try to find a name you both like, but don’t use a name you’ll never really love. It will always bother you.
I’m another vote for Annika. I believe that the Dutch spelling is Anneke maybe you would like to use it however it does present pronunciation complications. Annie and Lyddie sound so lovely together.
I also like the suggestions of:
Genevieve
Danika/Danica
Jessica
Monica
Veronica
If you do decide to go with Jenica perhaps her nickname can be Jenna somehow I fell it’s less dated than Jenny.
With your Dutch last name, I would encourage you to spell it Anneke, which is the Dutch spelling. Yes, she might frequently be called “Ah-knee-kee”, but my sister has managed to live with it and our crazy unpronounceable Dutch last name for thirty years.
I’m glad you updated! This will sound weird, but I have wondered about this specific outcome, whereas I forget all the other queries. It’s because I was shocked at how much I loved jenica, and really hoped you would come around to it! I am such a classic, traditional namer with a bit of vintage, so Lydia is up my alley…and yet I loved Jenica so much!! And had never heard it before. I was just a little starry eyed about it. :) Haha. Congratulations on your sweet girl!
I love this update! Congratulations on Jenica Rose!