Hi Swistle!
I’ve enjoyed reading your blog since discovering it early this
pregnancy, and I could really use your help on our current baby name
situation. Baby boy is due in February, and we thought we had decided
on the name Wesley Oliver. (Oliver was my grandfather’s middle name.)
Our first son, now 2 1/2 years old, is Henry Owen. Last name for the
boys is my name and husband’s name combined, no hyphen — H@ffman
Bl@dgett.I still really like the name Wesley, but it just doesn’t feel like
Wesley is this baby’s name. And I can’t get the name Arlo out of my
mind. My husband originally did not like Arlo, but lately he’s been
open to it, so I think it’s likely that we could agree on it. I love
that it’s short and sweet (especially with the long last name), and I
can imagine it being a great name as a child and an adult. And I
think that Arlo sounds great with Henry, perhaps in a way that Wesley
does not?One potential problem is that my son loves the name Wesley. Every
time we ask if he likes another name, he replies, very
matter-of-factly, “No, Henry likes Wes-wee.” We had been talking for
awhile as though that were baby’s name, and it seems he’s very
attached to it. Of course, we’re not going to let our 2 year old name
the baby, but I at least want to be respectful of his opinion.
(Especially since there will undoubtedly be big emotions around having
a new brother, even without any naming complications.)I also wonder about the middle name — does Arlo Oliver flow together
a little too much? I think I like it, but I can see how the two names
could be too similar with the “LO” ending and the “OL” beginning. I’d
like to stick with Oliver as a middle name if we could.We both also really like the name Liam, but we’re concerned with how
popular it has become. That’s not a deal-breaker, but it is a
concern. Other names we’ve considered include Elliot and Noah.
(We’ve never had a very long list.)With Henry, I just KNEW his name was Henry months before his birth.
And it’s really the perfect name for him. I feel a little lost
without the certainty that I felt last time — it seems my baby name
intuition has dulled in these intervening sleep-deprived years. :)I would really appreciate your thoughts.
and
Hi again, Swistle.
I wrote to you a few days ago asking for help with our baby naming
dilemmas. I just had to write to share an amusing
update with you.My son Henry — who loves the name Wesley, and who I’m concerned about
disappointing should we choose another name — decided this morning
that his stuffed woolly mammoth’s name is “Wesley.” I wonder — does
this mean we’re off the hook, so to speak, for considering how much he
likes the name when deciding on his baby brother’s name? We certainly
can’t have two Wesleys in the house, can we? :)Selena
My intention was to answer this with a paragraph or two about how I can identify with wanting to use the name the 2-year-old wants, because it is beyond cute when a sibling takes an interest in the new baby; but that in my own experience (Robert wanted to name William “Plum,” and was very serious and intense about it), the 2-year-old won’t remember any of this and it’s safe to go with the name you want—perhaps using his choice as a special nickname.
But the turn things have taken is so excellent, I now want to post this as an idea for other parents facing the same situation: in this case it was accidental, but I wish I’d thought of it when Rob wanted to use the name Plum. Some children will not be diverted and will still insist that no, the name is for the new baby; but others may very well fall for it.
I think both Wesley and Arlo work nicely with the name Henry. I think Arlo Oliver works just fine: I see what you mean about the -lo and Ol-, but I agree that other considerations outrank that one. (Or perhaps your grandfather’s first name would be a better fit?) Do you find you call Henry “Henry Owen”? Some families do use first and middle names together, but many use the middle name only for paperwork.
Liam and Arlo make me wonder if you’d like Leo or Milo.
I absolutely love the name Arlo, and Arlo Oliver sounds great! Arlo is my baby name that got away and as I’m done having children I love hearing others use it! Use Arlo it is perfect!
Why not Arlo Wesley?
If there were a poll, I’d vote for Wesley Oliver.
I share concerns that Arlo Oliver *is* a mouthful together — almost a tongue twister.
Also, I find Wesley and Henry more compatible style-wise and structurally.
I don’t think it matters at all that Woolly Mammoth is being called “Wesley” by your little Henry. It’s just a toy. Once the baby comes, if he is called Wesley he will soon be THE Wesley in Henry’s life. (But if having the baby and favorite toy with the same name bothers you, you could transition the toy’s name to another name: maybe Woolly-Wesley, with “Wesley” eventually dropped to just “Woolly”. Or you could do that right now: “Your baby brother’s name will be Wesley, so let’s call your woolly mammoth, Woolly!” )
It’s not unusual for expectant parents to second-guess their carefully chosen name for the new baby. You’ve made an excellent choice for your second child’s name. Wesley Oliver is a fine name. Wesley sounds excellent with your preferred middle name Oliver and is great with Henry. Henry Owen and Wesley Oliver — love those names together!
My husband’s cousin has a son named Henry and they just had a second boy and named him Oliver! Why not name go ahead and give him the first name Oliver? Oliver Wesley sounds nice!
Excellent suggestion!
A middle name beginning with H would be a nice tie-in with Henry Owen too: maybe Oliver Hugo:
Henry Owen
and
Oliver Hugo
Love those names together every bit as much as Wesley Oliver (and maybe more).
I think the sound combination of Arlo with Oliver is a plus. That is, not at all a case where it’s a bit hard to say but worth it to get the name you want, but that it’s a particularly great combination, fun to say, and if I had a son named Arlo Oliver I’d be tempted to use both names just because of the great sound! I realize this is one of those personal-taste things, where some people love the sound of repeated letters and some prefer a contrast.
Wesley and Arlo are both good choices. I like Arlo a little better, but more importantly, the fact that you said “we’re off the hook” made me think it’s the one you really want to use, so I’d go with that. I go back and forth on whether the sound repetition in Arlo Oliver is a plus or a minus, but even if it’s a minus, I think going with what you really want would override that.
I really like Arlo Oliver.
And Since big brother Henry loves the name and used it on his stuff mammoth maybe he can give little brother a new stuffed toy and name it Wesley as well, and they can share that.
Arlo Oliver is a great name and I actually like the way that both names have a similar sound.
Swistle’s suggestion of Milo brought to mind the name Miles. I absolutely love Miles and it goes so well with Henry.
Henry Owen and Miles Oliver. Perfect!
I’d also like to suggest Leon. Henry and Leon!
Good luck!
Arlo Oliver is terrific. I find it really pleasing to say, and the sounds are similar (almost symmetrical!) without being repetitive. To me it’s a different situation than, say, Arlo Lowell or Arlo Arthur. And the fact that you love both names seals it for me. Good luck!
I don’t think you should let what your 2 year old thinks about the name influence your decision. He’s not going to be disappointed if you don’t use Wesley. Introduce the baby by whatever name you give him. If your son makes a comment about the name should be Wesley, just telll him “we thought it was Wesley but now that he’s here, we found out he’s really Arlo.” Then move on. Your son will be fine.
I do think it helps that he used the name for his stuffed animal. If he does make a huge stink about the baby’s name (which I really doubt) you can tell him “the baby wanted to be Arlo so he wouldn’t steal your animal’s name” or something along those lines.
My son is an Oliver. About a month after he was born I came across the name Arlo and immediately fell in love. Part of me wishes I had heard the name before he was born as he definitely would have been an Arlo. SO I say, go with it!!! I love it. And to be honest, yes Arlo Oliver does flow into each other but realistically how often would you say his full name together? I don’t think it’s an issue at all.
If your son was older I would say I would be a bit more concerned about it but as swistle said, he won’t remember in the long run that his name wasn’t picked. Plus… Like you said, you can’t have two wesley’s in the house!!
Good luck!
Arlo was my “boy name” before I got pregnant but my husband never fell in love with it. Now we have a six-month old Oliver! Must be something about those names… I’m still hoping for Arlo if we have a second son one day.
WhenI think of the names together I find Henry and Wesley go better together. I think Henry and Arlo are different styles. Arlo seems very unique and uncommon. I like Arlo as a name I just feel like Wesley is at the same level as Henry. I also think Wesley Oliver sounds awesome and is a very handsome name. I would stick with your original name :)
I think Wesley should come off the table for now as an option since you have said “it just doesn’t feel like Wesley is this baby’s name” and “does this mean we are off the hook. …” You can keep it in your back pocket in case it becomes your son’s name after you meet him.
I do like shorter first names with a double last name.
Arlo Oliver and Liam Oliver seem like great options. I also Miles Oliver. Eli Oliver is another option or perhaps Nolan Oliver.
Your 2yr old will forget in less than a month if you stop discussing the name Wesley in front of him.
I think Arlo (and Wesley) are great but with an honor name as winderful as Oliver I would use that. Oliver Arlo? Henry and Oliver!
Yep, off the hook for sure. Name that baby whatever you like.
I wouldn’t put much stock in your two-year old’s opinion, to be honest. I’m positive he won’t be resentful if you name the new baby something else. Kids that age don’t have the capacity to associate memories and feelings the way adults do, so I think you’re fine to name him whatever you want :) Anyhow, I find Arlo to be entirely different, stylistically. For example, I can imagine an old man named Henry, but certainly not Arlo. There could be history to the name Arlo that I’m unaware of, but I don’t think it’s been around for a long time, whereas Henry is an extremely old name. So, their styles don’t match at all, but if you don’t care about that, then go for it! I personally don’t think the style needs to match as long as you’re using the names you love. Oliver matches closely in style, as mentioned above. I wonder if you’d like Charlie or Bennett? Good luck!
I picture the folk singer, Arlo Guthrie, who is about 65 now so the name does seem to age well to me.
I think the name is Biblical.
I was curious and had a look – Arlo isn’t in my concordance and doesn’t have a result on biblegateway so I am pretty sure it isn’t biblical, unless it is a variant of an obscure character with different spelling.
wiki lists it as Anglo-saxon and nameberry says Spanish FWIW.
Attaching the toddler’s desired name to a toy is brilliant!!!
My toddlers have always had their own ideas about what the baby will be named (from Runs-On-Sidewalk or Baby Jesus, to Sia or Father So&So–an actual celibate priest’s real name!), but the shock and excitement of the actual baby’s appearance has always overridden their insistence.
Good luck! All your options are lovely, and I like Arlo Liam best.
This all might be entirely wrong for your particular child, but your dilemma inspired a monologue.
“Before a baby is born, he can have any name in the world and his name can change. Once he’s born, you learn his real forever name, but he can still have nicknames. I like names, so before he’s born I’m going to call him lots and lots of them! We won’t know his real name until he’s born, but we might find some great nicknames. Right now, I’m going to call him Chickadee because Chickadees always make me happy…..Look at the moon, isn’t it pretty? Your brother makes me feel round like the moon. I’m going to pretend I’m the moon and he’s my Star Baby–do you want to play that you’re my Star Boy?…Right now I think it’s really fun to say Bubbly-Bet, so I’m going to call the baby that…Look at that Momma in the book, she’s going to have a baby. What do you think her baby’s called today? Her little boy already has his true name–do you think he has a fun nickname today as well? Do you have a fun nickname you want to be called today?”
Basically, I feel like your problem isn’t what to name your baby, but that 1: in your son’s head you already have named your baby and 2: you’ve been using the question of the baby’s name as a way to build a connection between Henry and the baby and that’s made Henry feel like he has a bit of a vote in what the baby’s name might be and possibly 3: that you might want to use Wesley for another baby someday and don’t want it to get too connected to this one. I think ideally you want to gently destabilize his sense of the baby’s name, let him know that he doesn’t have a part in deciding what the name is, and still give him fun ways to connect with the idea of his brother. Of course, he might not be into any nicknames but Wesley, and I think I’d let him use it as long as he wants–so long as he knows it’s just the name he uses for the baby not the baby’s real true forever name. Probably I’m overthinking it though–I agree with other commenters that he’ll come round fast enough when there’s a real baby. (I still remember being disappointed that my parents didn’t name my little sister Tree Hollow when I was four, but I mostly remember loving her so much I wanted to be the last person to say goodnight to her every night so my goodnight would be the freshest.)
According to “The Great Big Book of Baby Names” by Cleveland Kent Evans, Ph.D., President, American Name Society: “Arlo – Evidently invented by the 16th-century English poet Edmund Spencer in his epic poem “The Faerie Queene” as the name of a hill where the gods debate. …Arlo was regularly used in the early 20th century in the United States, but today it’s known primarily because of the singer Arlo Guthrie.” (ohbabynamesdotcom also credits Spencer as the creator of the name Arlo in its extensive profile of the name.)
Arlo isn’t included in either the (UK) Oxford or Penguin Reference “Dictionary of First Names”.
While Henry is a timeless name with centuries of distinguished Henrys in every field of endeavor, Arlo is of a totally different style (Wattenberg — Baby Name Wizard — terms it “Guys and Dolls”) and is primarily associated with only one person, Arlo Guthrie. The similarly-sounding name Arthur has a long and distinguished history, like Henry, and would coordinate better with Henry. You could name the baby Arthur Oliver, with “Arlo” as his nickname.
Henry Owen
Arthur Oliver “Arlo”
Wesley Oliver is a fine name and goes well with Henry Owen in so many ways. I think I like your initial choice best of all. But if you want to call the baby “Arlo”, Arthur Oliver as his given name would be a more traditional way to get to that name.
I like this idea the best as Arthur and Henry seem to go together better for me than Arlo and Henry, but it still gives an easy nickname of Arlo.
My vote goes to either the original Wesley or Arthur…but I’m leaning toward Arthur. I really like it with your last name too.
I found the same info on the name Arlo as Patricia above – from “The Faerie Queen,” possibly created “by altering the real Irish place name Aherlow, which is Gaelic meaning ‘between two highlands’.”
I also agree with Patricia, TB, & Kanah that Wesley is a much better “fit” with a sibling Henry/I personally prefer it to Arlo.
It may help to keep both names as options and wait until you see him before making the final choice? Let us know!
As you may know already, Arlo is the name of the very cute dinosaur in Pixar’s latest – The Good Dinosaur. This is probably not a dealbreaker, as Arlo is a lovely character and I don’t think the movie is a runaway success. I.e. I don’t think there’ll be lots of kids named Arlo born in the next two years.
It may be helpful though, if you decide you want to try out how Arlo feels as a name in your family. You could show your son this movie (er, though there are a couple awful bits, why must Pixar be so traumatic sometimes!!!) and maybe get him interested in the dinosaur?
I have nothing helpful to say about the other name suggestions – they’re all lovely, good luck deciding!!