Hi Swistle!
I have been reading your blog for about over a year now. My husband and I recently found out we’re expecting our first little one!! We still have a while to wait before we find out the gender but we have always talked about potential names!
We have always loved the name Cole for a baby girl. Her middle name would be Leann, a family name and definitively feminine.Our only concern is future sibling names. If we name a baby girl a traditionally boy name, how can we find a name more masculine for her brother someday? When we pair any boy names we like with a sister named Cole we can’t decide if it sounds funny or not. Also, if Cole has a baby sister one day, are we stuck with naming her a traditionally boy (or at least unisex) name? Would Cole and “something very feminine” be funny as a sister sibling set?
We LOVE Cole! Just don’t want to have extra difficulty naming baby #2 when that time comes :)
I included our current top boy names for reference as well.
Lane
Jonah
Brooks
MitchWe would appreciate your thoughts tremendously!!!
I think you’re wise to think about these issues ahead of time. There’s no rule that says you can’t have a pair of sisters named Cole and Isabella, or a sister-brother set named Cole and Addison, but I do think it makes things easier to go into it knowing ahead of time what your own priorities and preferences are.
I suggest starting by making a list of other names you like for girls (or taking a look at that list, if you already have one). If you end up with a list of Brandon, Brady, Finn, Owen, and Clarissa, we are all set: feminine names are outliers for you, and “boy names for girls” is your basic style. If, however, your list is Clarissa, Annabella, Madeleine, and Josephine, then “boy names for girls” are outliers for you, and using one of them may make you feel painted into a corner for future children if one of your preferences is for sibling names to coordinate.
In the United States in 2014, the name Cole was given to 9 new baby girls and 3,404 new baby boys. Every name has its own package deal of pros and cons and issues, and part of the package deal of giving the name Cole to a girl will be needing to regularly correct the assumption that she is a boy. It won’t even be the way it is with unisex names such as Cameron and Riley, where most people are aware that the name can be given to boys or girls; it will be more like the names Wesley (43 girls, 3,112 boys) and Miles (19 girls, 3,639 boys), where people assume boy without thinking about it.
Many parents enjoy this factor of surprise, and in fact it can be one of the main things they like about a name. So what I’d ask you, if we were sitting sipping coffee in my office, is do you think that describes the two of you? That is, is one of the things you like about the name Cole that it is “a boy’s name for a girl”? Or is it that you love the name Cole for a girl, but you’d be happier if Cole were considered a unisex name or a name for girls?
If your list is mostly “boy names for girls,” and a point in Cole’s favor is that it’s usually used for boys, then I think you’re all set: correcting people will be fun, and you will be able to find plenty of similar names for future daughters. (But I find myself hoping you have trouble and we can help; that would be a really fun list to make!) Perhaps you could give each daughter a traditionally-boy first name and a traditionally-girl middle name, as you’d be doing with the name Cole Leann. Brothers seem like less of an issue: I don’t think you could choose any name for a boy that would make it clear that Cole was a girl, and it’s common for parents to have a somewhat different naming style for daughters than for sons, so I think you could just go with your own preferences.
But if your list is mostly names traditionally used for girls, AND you’d like sibling names to coordinate, AND you would like the name Cole better if it were traditionally used for girls, then I am going to list some options you may very well have already thought of.
One option is to use Cole as the nickname for Colette. (You could also use it as a nickname for Nicole, Nicolette, or Colleen, but those names seem less current.)
Another option is to feminize the name: Coley, for example.
Another option is to see if you can pinpoint what it is you like about the name Cole, and look for traditionally-girl names that share those characteristics. It’s hard to give examples, since it will depend entirely on what characteristics you pinpoint, but here’s my attempt: Magnolia, Elle, Claire, Noelle, Paloma, Ione, Jolie, Joelle, Kay, Romy, Viola, Kaley, Lola, Nola, Zola.
Do you like Cole for a boy, or only for a girl? If you like it for boys as well, another option is to use it for a boy, either on its own or as a nickname for Coleman, Coleson, Nicholas, etc.
Name update:
Hi Swistle,
Sorry it’s taken so long to update!!! Little baby girl Kole Leann arrived in August! Her name fits her perfectly!! Your response and the replies from readers really helped us with our final decision. It prepared us for the responses some people may have and encourage us to go with our gut!Thank you!!!
I agree with Swistle and yourself, it’s a good thing to think about potential sibling names. I don’t think brother names will be problematic so long as you stay in the masculine names vs. unisex (eg. I would stay away from Taylor or Avery that could swing either gender). I guess I would say really focus on and go through your girl list… I think you could get away with Cole as a girl name if you also like other names such as Blake or Sloane or Ryan or Tyler for a girl as well (which I have seen on girls before). I guess I’m one for matching styles for sibling names, so I would be very shocked if I heard a family had a Cole and Isabella, both girls. But that being said, that’s just my opinion, and if the shock of that doesn’t seem to bother you too much then no worries! It’s your kids and your family and people do things all the time that shock people and then they get over it.
Good luck and keep us posted!!
I LOVE the name Cole for a girl (though have not ever previously thought of it!). I like Swistle’s idea of using it as a nickname for a more traditionally feminine name (i.e. Colette), and I love that you will be using a clearly feminine nickname.
For anecdotal reference, I have a niece named Nicole (13) who goes by Cole or Coley. She has an older brother Bradley (who mostly goes by Brad now that he’s older).
I like Cole for a girl too, maybe because I’m familiar with a couple of Nicoles who are called Cole occasionally as a family nickname. I suppose it is a traditionally male name, but I don’t find it quite as “shocking” as a girl named, say, Paul or Tim. There is also a long tradition of girls/women unexpectedly co-opting “boy” names (Drew Barrymore, Evan Rachel Wood, etc). If you love Cole that much for a girl, I think you will find a way to coordinate potential future sibling names.
I think Cole for a girl is fine (though I love the suggestion of “Colette, but we’re calling her Cole.” However, Cole Leann when said together sounds a little too much like “colon” to me :(
Also, just want to note that Lane is also sometimes used as a girl’s name (I only know female Lanes, in fact) so that’s something to consider for a future brother, if you happened to use Cole for a girl.
yeah, the two names bled in to a few words for me, too.
Collette Leanne does not have the same issue; so, I suggest using Cole as a nn instead of a formal name.
I didn’t do “colon” but I do hear “Coliane” which seems like the opposite of what you’re looking for: an awkward feminization of a decidedly masculine name. I’ll admit you’re squarely out of my own style, which is why I like the nickname suggestions, but if you do go that way, I’d think about a different middle.
But then, most of us don’t use our middles all that much. OTOH, there are lots of us who almost never use our full names. But I always like having it in my back pocket.
My husband loves the name Cole (for a boy)…and I’m not that keen on it… and luckily we’ve had 2 girls… Piper and Felicity… but if we were to have a 3rd I don’t think I would object to naming a girl Cole but I think I would use a ‘K’ to make it Kole..with a really feminine middle name.
and I actually I do know a a girl Kole and she has a sister name Miranda and a brother named Logan.
When naming my second daughter, Lane was actually on my list for a girls name.
A big vote for Colette, nickname Cole. Gets you the nickname and avoids the Cole Leanne/Colon sound-alike issue. Another thought that may or may not bother you – I am thinking that Very Boy names on girls is a big trend right now that will serve as a kind of date stamp on people (like Linda for baby boomers, or my name ((Dana)) for women born in the 70s.) born in the 20-teens.
I prefer Cole as a nickname, for one of the names mentioned (I wonder if Colleen is due for a revival yet?) or perhaps Nicola.
Colleen fell completely out of the top 1000. Recently. I predict revivial in 10 years.
Another situation to consider for Cole-as-a-girls-name: Cole is an extremely common last name (I married into the Cole family, and now my last name is Cole). Now, naming a boy Cole isn’t a big deal because most likely he will keep his last name. However, a girl you run into the scenario of her someday becoming “Mrs. Cole Cole.” I do realize it is HIGHLY unlikely that your daughter Cole will one day fall madly in love with a member of the “Cole tribe”. Additionally, you’d have the same issue with the name Lane or Taylor and probably several other unisex names that escape me right now. In the rare instance this occurs, the simple solution would be that your daughter could keep her maiden name in marriage.
In summary, i do acknowledge the absurdity of this situation, but as someone who married into a Cole family, I have to bring it up. :)
Lauren Bush Lauren is a great example of this. You may want to check the prominence of Cole as a last name to decide if it concerns you. I would guess it’s a tiny fraction of a %.
My friend’s three daughters are (in order of oldest to youngest): Koal, Hayden & Lily
I was a little surprised to hear they had chosen Lily for their third daughter, because it’s so feminine compared to Koal and Hayden.
My surprise quickly passed though, and now I don’t give it any thought.
I knew a Coley once and fell in love with the name!
I like Cole, not sure of it with Leann, so voting for Nicola Leann, nn Cole or Cole with a different family nickname and save Leann for the next sibling =)
Sister Names for Cole could be Greer, Sloane, Sadie, Quinn, Blythe, Grey, Drew, Ryan, Sutton, maybe Rory but not Lorelai (unless you go with Nicola or Collette with nn Cole!)… I’d vote for Lane to be up in this list, since it’s unisex, no frills and could be a nice sister name for Cole =)
Brother Names I’d definitely go clearly masculine with: Jonah, Brooks and Mitch are all great! Wonder if you’d like Dylan, Luke, Miles or MIlo, Graham or maybe Blake?
Good luck!
I meant another family middle name, not nickname! whoops!
I think Lane is a perfect sister to a Cole of either gender!
I personally have never met a female Cole but it would be nice if you like it (and that’s all that matters). I didn’t get the colon association with Leann but once it was pointed out I couldn’t shake the thought. If that’s your case I do love the suggestion of Colette too!
Honestly I was surprised that the naming stats show Cole to be overwhelmingly used for boys. Maybe because I know enough Nicoles who use Cole as a nickname, I see it as working very well for a girl. I would assume a child named Cole was a boy, but I wouldn’t be shocked to hear Cole was a girl.
I think it’s good that you are considering all these factors ahead of time, but personally I think you shouldn’t feel obligated to think too much about having a matching sibset. Now if you were planning on naming your kids John, Mary, and Coriander, I would say to take the sibset into stronger consideration, but I think you’ll be fine using Cole even if you like more feminine names for future girls.
I love Cole for a girl also! We talked about it a little here on my baby naming post: https://www.swistle.com/babynames/2014/10/01/baby-twin-girls-bedingfeld/
It’s a good idea to be thinking about sibling name now, I’m glad you recognize how Cole for a girl now could possibly limit your options with other kids later. Looking at your boy name list, I would assume Lane=girl and Cole=boy in a b/g sibling set. Brooks could also be misheard as the girl’s name Brook and thus lead to similar confusion. Mitch & Jonah seem too close to Cole in style. I would assume boy for all three.
I’m not really a fan of boys names used for girls. However, I can see the appeal of boyish nicknames. I would probably use a feminine name with Cole as a nickname. Nicole & Colette both come to mind quickly. But I think something like Corrine could also work, especially with the middle name Leann because Cole combines the 1st two letters of both her first & middle. Other Co names you could do this with include Cora, Coraline, Cordelia & Constance.
I knew a Nicole growing up who we called Coley, so Cole on a girl doesn’t strike me as any more unusual than Sam or Mac. However, Cole as a given name does limit your options for a coordinated sib-set down the road. It also doesn’t give her a lot of options if the name doesn’t suit her. Something else to consider: Cole Leann runs together like Coley Ann. It would bother me, but if you don’t plan on using the first and middle together much, it’s not that big of a deal. However, I think using Cole as a nn for Colette or Nicolette is a great solution to all of these concerns. Then, for sister names it might be fun to use other feminine names with masculine nicknames. For brothers, you could go in many directions.
If you do decide to stick with just Cole as her first name, I would suggest keeping all of your kids names gender-questionable so that rather than assuming Cole is a boy and Isabella is a girl people have to either ask or act without their gender biases. I could see Cole, Riley, Blake, Ellis, Jordan and Dylan working together as brothers and sisters. I might purposely use names that lean more girl for boys and lean more boy for girls to keep things balanced.
Kudos to you for thinking about this ahead of time!
I think that Swistle’s advice of thinking about why you like the name Cole for your daughter is spot-on. I personally have trouble understanding when people pick a name that is traditionally male and then seem to “justify” it by picking a clearly feminine middle name. First off, I don’t think you don’t need to justify it to anyone as long as you and your partner feel good about the choice. Plus, one thing that always comes up on this blog is how little the middle name is used/heard after the baby is born. So while picking a more feminine middle name for your daughter could make you feel more secure in your choice of Cole for her first name, it really won’t matter unless you plan to call her Cole Leann on a regular basis, you know? If you don’t feel secure about picking Cole unless you pair it with a really feminine middle name, you may want to revisit your name choice and explore other options.
With that being said, I’m all about Cole as a nickname for a girl, but I’m more hesitant about it as a given, legal first name. I think there are a lot of names you could choose to get to the nickname of Cole (Nicole, Nicola, Colette, Coralie, Coraline, Colbie, Colleen, etc.)
One option is to find a name you both like that starts with Co and then pair that with Leann. Then you get the nickname Cole from the first two letters of each name. With that expanded parameter, I’d suggest: Cosette, Corinne, Cosima, Cora, Courtney, Constance.
Please keep us posted!
With the middle name LEann, you could use any first name that contains a CO to make Cole. Cora leann.
Instead of Cosette, how about Colby? Colby Leann
I didn’t do “colon” but I do hear “Coliane” which seems like the opposite of what you’re looking for: an awkward feminization of a decidedly masculine name. I’ll admit you’re squarely out of my own style, which is why I like the nickname suggestions, but if you do go that way, I’d think about a different middle.
But then, most of us don’t use our middles all that much. OTOH, there are lots of us who almost never use our full names. But I always like having it in my back pocket.
Well, that belonged way up thread. But I love Colby! The -by softens it. Great idea!
Three cheers for boyish girl names! My daughter is named Brady which seems to me to be in a similar camp as Cole. And while I love the standalone name, I also must high five the commenter who suggested Colby – so cute!
Other names on our list include Ellis and Logan (girls) & Spencer and Cohen (boys).
Also just wanted to note that my husband and I actually have the same first name (spelled differently) and it has rarely (never?) been an issue. Mostly it’s amusing and sometimes, super convenient (like when you have to call customer service for an account that the other person is the primary on, for example).
Hi! Just wanted to share that I am the author of this question… My name is Brady. Brady Jane. You made my day sharing your opinion that Brady and Cole are in the same camp!! ;) I have always loved my name and enjoy the fact that most don’t think I am a girl before meeting me. Maybe that’s why I am drawn to the same camp of names :)
I had 5 siblings… all with traditional gender names, while my name was used for boys 90% of the time. It was never a problem growing up. I’m sure people were confused at times, but I ever noticed. Now that I am 40 something, I hate it. I hate being confused for a man, especially in the day and age of email where people can’t tell until they talk to you… and then are down right rude when they find out you aren’t the gender they expect. Just my two cents, but I like the idea of a female name with a cute boyish nickname.
I am not a fan of the boys-name-as-girls-name trend, so I lean towards Colette nickname Cole. I actually love the name Colette, and I don’t know anyone with the name! Colette Leann is very pleasing to my ear. :) and then, like others have said, you have so many options for future daughters if you follow the feminine name/masculine nickname trend. Like Elaine or Elaina with the nickname Lane, which I looove.
I do know a little Coley, which is okay. Similar names that could work with that or Cole might be Ainsley, Hadley, Adley, Harper, Brinley, Brynn, Bren.
I really dislike the boy names for girls trend. I guess I get the vibe that being a boy is cooler than being a girl and that irritates me. With that bias clearly stated–I fall into the give her a feminine first name and then use Cole as her nickname. That way if her personality swings really girly she has the option of using her full name.
Me too; exactly. Additionally, with a dad who has a “female” name and hates it, I know that parents think, “oh it’s their name, they’ll love it.” But that’s not always the case. So why burden them with it?
I knew Nicoles who were occasionally called “Cole” so I wouldn’t be shocked to hear it on a baby girl. That said if I saw it on a class list or something I would assume Cole was a boy. And if you introduced your daughter as Cole, I’d probably think it was short for another name. That said, if you love it go for it. You’ll be able to make the siblings names work and even if you have Cole as an outlier in your eventual daughters’ names I don’t think it will be a big deal at all. We’re only associated with our siblings by name for so long before we move out.
Oh, I would choose a different name than Leann for the middle name unless you’re using Cole as a nickname.
If you love Cole, use it. Leann is not an ideal middle name with it but middle names are not used that often after the birth announcements go out. To answer your questions specifically:
If we name a baby girl a traditionally boy name, how can we find a name more masculine for her brother someday?
You don’t. Cole is masculine and you aren’t going to find too many name more masculine than it. I think the best you can do is go with a boys name that in know way leans toward the girls (this may eliminate Lane and Brooks from you list). If first encountered on paper, I would think Cole and Jonah or Cole and Mitch are two brothers. If I knew Cole was a girl, I would think Cole and Lane or Cole and Brooks are two sisters. This is just something you need to choose to live with.
Also, if Cole has a baby sister one day, are we stuck with naming her a traditionally boy (or at least unisex) name? Would Cole and “something very feminine” be funny as a sister sibling set?
The only worry I would have about using Cole for a first daughter and a very feminine name for a second daughter is that it might “typecast” your daughters. Would an Isabella put herself in the prissy, ultra feminine box when standing next to her sister Cole? For that reason, I would stick with unisex or masculine names for future daughters.
Love the suggestion of Colby! Colby nn Cole is adorable and Colby Leann eliminates the “colon” issue.
Cora Leann nn Cole is a good one too.
I love the name Cole for a boy or girl. If you love it, just go for it!
Good luck!
I really like the idea of Colette with Cole as a nickname. That way, you get the name you want, but don’t close yourself off to more feminine names in the future. Not to mention, your daughter may grow up and hate the idea of everyone who calls assuming she’s a male, having to tell people before an interview that she’s a girl, and so forth, so that way, she has a second option.
I have a son named Cole but I love it for a girl too!
The first thought I had when you mentioned a potential sister was of my friend Spencer (girl) who has a twin Anne. She would cry when she was little bc people assumed they were boy/girl twins, but now she loves having a unique name and named her little girl a unisex/masculine-leaning name.
My dad had a name that is mostly used for girls, and he hated it so much that he legally changed it in his 20’s. So, even though YOU love the name Cole, you might want to consider the possibility that your daughter will not love it. I really like Colette.
I’ve been thinking on this (off & on) since Swistle first published the query. There are some similarities to my own name, Gail, that I couldn’t overlook. Gale was almost exclusively a male name before 1935, derived from the surname Gale. It wasn’t until the late 1930’s that it was “co-opted” for girls as a shortened form of Abigail. So, someone sending in a similar query about Gail at that time in history, might very well have been advised to use the name Abigail instead–that way, she could always shorten it to Gail, but everyone would “know” she was a she. Of course, by the time I was growing up Gails were everywhere–it was much more popular than Abigail. But here’s the thing: I would have hated to be named Abigail. I know this because I pondered it throughout my childhood, but I was always so thankful to have the more “modern” version of the name. Based on this, I’d completely forget about Colette, or Cora, or any of the other substitute names that will “get” you to Cole. If you love Cole, go with Cole. If she absolutely hates it, you go from there and make adjustments then.
I also became intrigued with the concept of one syllable names that “begin with a consonant, have a long vowel, and end with an L” sound. There are precious few, especially with a long O for the vowel. Aside from Cole, I only came up with Noel, or Soul. I don’t know anyone named Soul, and depending on pronunciation, Noel may have 2 syllables. Dale, Kyle, Neil, and Yale are the only other somewhat popular variations I uncovered. (When I was growing up, I knew a girl named Dale, and another named Kyle–both would now be grandmom age). Other, longer shots: Kale, Lyle, Teal, Vale. As soon as you add an S to the end, you could include Miles and Jules. Conclusion? Cole is pretty unique, the only one of these names except perhaps Kyle, that is popular to any degree.
There is a little girl named Soul at this blog: http://mycakies.com/2015/12/souls-sixth-birthday-breakfast-in-bed/
And it is her real name, not just a blog name. Her sisters are True, Brave, and Glow. :)
You could also come sided these full names with the nickname Cole:
Colandra
Colby
Colissa
Colista
Coletta
Columbia
I like Cole for a girl! I think you could get away with any sibling name for Cole.
Cole & Lane
Cole & Finley
Cole & Dashiell
Cole & Samson
Cole & Justice
Cole & Jude
Cole & Tyler
Cole & Quinn
Cole & Quincy
Cole & Wilder
Cole & Graham
Cole & Luna
Cole & Ever
Cole & Reid
Cole & Reese
Cole & Rhett
Cole & Wren
Cole & Beau/Bo
…for any sex
I would come up with three different list. A list of boyish names for girls. A list of boy names for boys. A list of girly names for girls.
So for example. A list of boyish names for girls that I like are. Lane, Brooks, Finn, Riley, Blake, Sloane, Drew, Evan, Hayden, Quinn, Dylan.
I would then think of how many kids I want to have So let’s say 3. Then come up with possible sib sets. 2 girls and one boy. 3 girls. 3 boys. 2 boys and one girl. Imagine how you can see your family and what names feel comfortable.
I personally love the idea of doing girly names with boy nn. Some ideas I came up with and or like are.
Colette/ Nicolette- Cole
Magdalane/ Delaney- Lane
Lorelai/ Aurora- Rory
Ainslee/ Tenlee- Lee
Quinley/ Aquinnah- Quinn
Brooklyn- Brooks
Elisabeth- Ellis
Finleigh-Finn
Evangeline- Evan
I also feel that if you go with boyish nn for girls that you should try to stay away from boy names that could be girls names. Which can be tricky and limiting.
I love Cole for a girl! When I think of a more masculine choice for a boy, I think of traditional names like Robert, Richard, Charles, Joseph, William, etc. that seem (to me) to be a different style than Cole. However, I agree with Swistle that gender confusion will probably still occur.