Hi Swistle,
My husband and I (surname Peters) are expecting our second child, a girl, next week. This little lady will be joining her big brother, Camden James. We have settled on a first name, Zoey, but I am struggling to settle on a middle name and am hoping this letter peaks your interest enough to help. In all likelihood, this will be our last child – but never say never.
We chose Camden’s first name simply because we liked how it sounded and the nickname potential. His middle name, James, is an honor name. He shares this middle name with my brother and nephew.
When we found out we were expecting a girl, I had a very long list of potential names that crossed all sorts of styles – thinking certainly my husband would have warm feelings for a few. Well, Zoey was the lone name he liked and we are both very happy with the selection.
As I mentioned, I am struggling with settling on a middle name. My immediate thought was Grace. Zoey Grace. I like it’s flow, that it is a single syllable, and feminine. The more I thought (and think) about it though – it seems like the “easy” choice. Part of me feels like we should choose another honor name, but I don’t necessarily love any honor names on either side of our family more than I like Grace. Of course, my favorites from the honor options are on my side – Claire (great-grandmother’s middle name) and Marie (sister’s middle name). In a way, I would feel bad selecting another honor name from my side of the family. Also, I am one of four siblings so if we chose Marie, I would have used two of my sibling’s names but not the other.
Honor names to choose from include:
Mildred
Christine
Ann
Joanne
Margaret
Claire
Betty
Ella (I love this as a middle name but I can’t get away from Zoey Ella / Cinderella)
Patricia
Susan
MarieAm I overthinking this? Is Zoey Grace a perfectly good name? Would it be rude to select another honor name from my side of the family?
Your advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks a bunch,
Lauren
It’s possible this answer will be too late: the question came in last week, and I draw from the previous week’s questions, and I just registered upon re-reading that the baby was expected “next week”—i.e., THIS week. Well. Let’s go for it anyway. I’ll type fast.
I absolutely don’t think it would be rude to select another honor name from your side of the family, especially if the surname is your husband’s family name.
Nor do I think it would be a problem to use a non-honor name this time, even though you used an honor name last time. I might avoid Claire anyway with a first name that ends with an -ee sound (turns into eclair, not that there is anything wrong with delicious, delicious eclairs). And I see your point about two-out-of-three sibling names, though I do think that would be fine: most people seem to understand that the number of beloved relatives to honor generally exceeds the number of offspring.
Zoey Grace is indeed a perfectly good name. If you love it, I don’t see any reason you shouldn’t choose it.
If you decide you’d rather use an honor name, I love Zoey Joanne from your list: I like the repeating long-O, I think, and the emphasis on the second syllable of Joanne, and the alliteration with her brother’s middle name (totally unimportant, but it pleases me anyway), and that you could call her Zoey Jo or Zo-Jo. I also love Zoey Margaret: there is something very appealing about that combination to me, visually and stylistically. And I like the flow and sound of Zoey Christine.
Name update!
Swistle,
I can’t thank you and your readers enough for your input to my middle name dilemma. After reading your response, I loved with Zoey Joanne – especially after seeing Zo Jo (we sometimes call Camden “Cam Jam” so seeing that nickname possibility made my heart leap). As much as I loved the name, I couldn’t get my husband on board as he preferred Zoey Grace. We welcomed Zoey Grace on June 2nd. She is five weeks old and I am absolutely smitten with the baby (and her name).
Thanks again for your help,
Lauren
Zoey Joanne and Zoey Christine are my favorites too. Joanne could also honor Ann (and the reason for not using Ann could be explained that the initials would spell ZAP). But I’m all for using the names you love, and if Zoey Grace is your favorite, use it!
Oh, but I kind of love the initials ZAP!
That said, there’s nothing wrong with choosing a middle name simply because you love it. In fact it’s kind of charming. And “grace” is such a pleasant word/name/concept that I think it makes a lovely middle name.
I like a one syllable middle or a three syllable since Zoey and Peters are both two syllables. (But this is totally a weird individual preference and you should feel free to ignore it).
How about Zoey Joanna and I like Zoey Margaret. And your favorite: Zoey Grace! or Zoey Pearl
Zoey Grace is lovely!
Zoey Joanne with the nn Zo Jo is pretty irresistable, though!
If you like the single syllable middle pattern that you have with Camden James and Grace doesn’t feel right, you could consider:
Wren
Quinn
Rhys or Reese
Faith
Kate
Jane or June
Skye
Lark
Blythe
Maybe Sue instead of Susan?
Good luck and congrats!
“Not that there is anything wrong with delicious, delicious eclairs”…hahaha, love it, Swistle!
Love Zoey Grace! Cute cute cute!
Another possibility is honoring a passion of someone you love, either yourselves or your parents/siblings/grandparents etc. For instance, if someone is a fan of Greek mythology, Zoey Athena might be a good name. Or if someone is a fan of science, you could chose Tesla as a middle name.
Not sure I understand the Zoey Ella = Cinderella issue? I can hear the little mice singing, “Cinder-elly, Cinder-elly” in my mind when I think of “Cinderella” and sing-songiness, but it’s a huge leap to there from Zoey Ella. Actually, I just can’t get there from Zoey Ella. I think Zoey Ella is a really pretty name, and if it’s an honor name as well, it’s fantastic!
I think Grace is special and sweet on its own, but it IS popular as a middle name, like Rose. Similar to how common Marie and Ann were in the past.
Actually, out of all the honor name combo posibilities, my favorite would be Zoey Susan– or better yet, Zoey Sue. So cute and unexpected! And Z0ey Sue Peter$ (garbling the letters to avoid search engines) has such a great flow. I really think that midcentury names like Susan/Sue/Susie, Judith, and Debbie will be the next big style shift (like when our kids start having kids) and so she’d be ahead of the curve with Sue as a middle name.
Going to go all outlier here and suggest Zoey Mildred. I think it’s awesome, complex, unexpected, and poetic all at once. (of course, this doesn’t at all consider who might be the actual Mildred in your lives). My next choices, for the same reasons, would be Zoey Christine or Zoey Margaret.
Gotta hand it to Swistle, ZoJo is amazing. The rhythm! X-x-x-X (big X = accented syllable). Very nice.
Just throwing this out there: In my family, I was the only kid of my generation NOT to get an honor name, possibly because I was the oldest. All my cousins, brother, ect. had “namesakes.” I always wished I’d had one. There’s no way to know from your list which names come from which family, but I’d lean toward choosing your favorite from your husband’s side (to even things out). A middle name is rarely used in every day life but it can carry a lot of meaning for a child. That’s my two-cents.
Zoey Nora Peters
I think Zoey Grace is a lovely name. As for honor names, I think it’s fine to have them all from your family if you’re using your husband’s surname. That said, honoring two out of three siblings might give me pause.
Going just by sounds, I like Zoey Claire (the eclair thing doesn’t bother me) and Zoey Margaret best. Zo-Jo is awfully cute, though. Makes Joanne tempting.
Zoe Grace is lovely and if you want the middle to have meaning, I think there Grace has plenty of positive meaning that it could still work.
Looking at your long list of potential honor names, I wonder if you might like a variant better than the actual name. Instead of Margaret, perhaps Margo? Zoey Margo? Or, since you like 1 syllable middles with Zoey, maybe just Jo for Joanne? Zoey Jo. You could also do Zoey Sue for Susan (though I like Jo better). Or maybe Bette (a la the fabulous Ms. Midler) instead of Betty? Zoey Bette?
I also like Zoey Margaret, especially because both names are of Greek origin! I also like Zoey Jo, as another commenter mentioned above.
What about Zoe Elizabeth? Honors Betty and you could say it also honors Ella. I also like the symmetry with your son – modern name paired with a timeless classic middle. Zoey Elizabeth.
That is the first thing that stood out to me as well. Zoey and Camden are just as good a pair as James and Grace (Margaret/Ann/Ella).
And I agree that Zoey Ella is fine. Cindy Ella is pushing it, but anything else is fine.
I meant to add that if you still cannot get over Zoey Ella, perhaps Zoey Eleanor would work for you? As a bonus, it avoids having 2syllable-2syllable-2syllable.
Oh, nice!
I like Zoey Margaret best!
I agree that Grace is the easy name of choice these days. Most baby girls I know have the middle Grace! I I assume it’s because there are very few names Grace DOESN’T flow well with. Good luck with your choice! Love whatever you choose. :)
Of your options, I like Zoey Joanne the best! Grace is perfectly lovely, but it is a pretty common middle name in my area (the South). Joanne is an honor name and I like that your children will share a middle initial. Zo-Jo is an adorable nickname too!
I like Grace, Claire, and Ann best (because of the rhythm of Zoey with a one syllable middle name.)
It is hard to choose among the honor names not knowing who they would honor. honestly don’t think of a great-grandmother middle name as an honor name but more of a ” plucking aname from the family tree” which is fine but I wouldn’t place any more importance on it than choosing a name I really liked. In that case, I think Zoey Grace sounds much nicer than Zoey Claire so I would go with the former.
I used honor names for my son but they would chosen because the people being honored where truly significant our lives. They were chosen because my son’s father was very close to an uncle who recently passed and I was very close to my grandfather. We wanted to express our love of those individuals through our sons name and also be able to share with him why those relatives he would never know should be admired and emualted.
Also, an honor name doesn’t necessarily mean using the exact same name. The uncle my son was named after had an Italian name.. we used the English version of that name. So looking at your list of honor names – I would immediately rule out Zoey Betty and Zoey Patricia because of flow. But if either Betty or Patricia was the person you or your husband most want to honor, you might consider Zoey Bettina/Zoey Elizabeth or Zoey Tricia.
Zoey Grace is lovely, but I would.prefer to choose a family name for the middle. My oldest son has a family middle name, and we thought about just choosing a middle name we liked for our 2nd son, but ended up going with a family middle name. As time goes on, I am SO happy we chose a family middle. I like the way their names coordinate, and I know how much my mom appreciates it (we used her dad’s name).
It might be nice if there’s a name on his side that you like, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it- you can do first name you liked, family middle from your side, last name from his side (assuming you’re using his last name) for both kids, and I think that’s fairly well balanced.
My daughter’s name is Zoe O____ and she’s one of two Zoes in her class so she goes by Zoe O which has morphed into Zoe O-ee over the months. It’s adorable. Zoey Joanne could follow that – Zoey Joey. Super cute!
I say go for namesake. So much more meaning and sense of connection to genealogy. If you can’t decide who to honour you can use two names to make up a name you do like. Since you mentioned you didn’t care for the namesake names. For example. Use Marie and Lauren as namesakes with the name Maren.
Zoey Maren Peters
Another nice thing is the namesake isn’t as noticeable but you can still tell who you want about the namesake.
Love the suggestion of Zoey Elizabeth! That’s my favorite!
I think Zoey Grace is a perfectly lovely name and, if you really love it, you should just go for it.
What about Zoey Susanna or Zoey Mae or Meg?
Good luck!
How about Zoey Joan?
Zoey Ann is my favorite.