Hi Swistle! I’ve been a long time reader of your blog, even before I met my husband, and I’m excited …and a little frustrated… to finally be asking for help of my own!
Our first baby, a girl, is due in November and we’re having a hard time finalizing a name. Well actually I personally wasn’t having a hard time until recently. I was just patiently waiting for my husband to come around to the name Amelia, a name I’ve wanted to name my daughter for quite a while now. His favorite is Clara which I also thought was lovely…it just wasn’t my favorite until lately. I can’t stop thinking about it and I feel like I’m cheating on Amelia!!
Here’s a little back ground info for you. Our last name is Logan with an H and if this baby was a boy he would’ve most likely been Leo Wells or Leo Webb which we still plan on using if we have a boy in the future. Also this baby girl will definitely have the middle name Sue after me and my mom.
His favorites that I vetoed:
Avery
Finley
Harper
CoraMy favorites that he vetoed:
Georgia
Hazel
EdithWhich leaves us with Amelia and Clara. My problems with Amelia are that its a bit of a mouth full to say with no real easy nickname besides Amy, Mia (neither which I love) and Milly (which is ok) and that its getting so popular. My main problem with Clara is really that I don’t like the name Claire and they sound so similar! To me, Amelia seems sassy and spunky and Clara seems sweet and soft spoken…so help! You pick! Or is there any other name that would bring our two very different styles together that I’m missing? Any input would be much appreciated! Thank you!
HeatherP.S. I think there’s maybe another aspect to these 2 names that you could help me with. Why is it that Amelia seems like the bolder more unique name when it’s #15 according to the SSA and Clara seems like the safer more familiar name when it’s #108. It may have something to do with Amelia only being #50 in Texas where I live but that’s still fairly high or maybe that Claire is so familiar. I feel like that may be part of my problem deciding between the two names. Amelia seems like the more fun option yet it is more popular?!
Let’s start with the p.s., because I wonder about that sort of thing a lot: why do our subjective impressions of names vary SO MUCH? There can be so many factors.
One possibility is that when you started liking the name Amelia, it was a lot less common. Here’s what it’s been up to recently:
(screen shot from SSA.gov)
The #15 ranking is pretty new; maybe you started liking it when it was still in the 100s or 200s. And it can take awhile for popularity impressions to catch up: there can be tens of thousands of babies with a name, but it’s not as noticeable until they hit daycare/school and you start seeing class lists. “Huh, a Joey, two Chloes, a Zoe, and a Zoey.” “A Kayla, a Mikayla, two Kyles, a Kylie, and a Kyler.” “A Madelyn, a Madison, an Adelyn, an Addison, a Maddie, a Maddox, and an Addy.” “An Ella, an Eleanor, an Isabella, an Isabelle, a Bella, an Annabelle, and an Elizabeth-called-Ellie.”
I think too that seeing names mentioned frequently on naming sites can make them feel more common, even if only a small percentage of the parents who list or research the name actually end up using the name. Clara has come up in popularity quite quickly in recent years, and likely gets talked about more than the steadier Amelia. Here’s the chart for Clara:
(screen shot from SSA.gov)
Popularity isn’t the only factor that makes a name seem safer/bolder; personal associations contribute heavily too. Amelia Earhart might make the name seem bold and daring to you, while Amelia Bedelia might give it an appealing storybook whimsy, and Amelia Pond might give it fiery Scottish redhead adventurousness. And maybe you have only general pioneer-girl/early-American-history feelings associated with Clara, plus maybe knowing a couple of Claires, plus maybe the mom-name association with Claire Huxtable.
And location is huge, as you’ve noticed with the different ranking of the name Amelia in your state. One of our kids has a name we never, never, never encounter, even though it’s been in the Top 50 for ages; it’s much more popular in other regions, apparently. Another of our kids has a name that never hit the Top 10 nationally, but did get there in our state; we run into people with his name all the time. If we moved, we might find those situations swapped.
Now on to the main question. I think you put the issue very well: that you almost feel as if switching to the name Clara would be cheating on the name Amelia. That makes it sound to me as if you would actually prefer to use the name Clara. Do you think that’s true, or do you still prefer Amelia but find yourself very willing to let Clara be in second place?
One thing working in your favor is that it’s likely you still have over half the pregnancy to make the decision. It can feel weird to change from one favorite name to a new favorite (especially if it means switching to the other parent’s favorite), and giving it some time may help. If you find you do prefer Clara at this point but need help disengaging from the name Amelia, you could tell yourself that it might be that Amelia is your SECOND daughter’s name, and that’s why it’s not feeling quite right for this daughter. Perhaps this baby girl is going to be the sweet and soft-spoken one, and your next daughter is going to be the sassy firecracker.
Another issue, if you plan more children, is that I find Amelia and Leo a little difficult to say together. They’re not an impossible combination by any means, and in fact I think they’re a nice pairing, but the lee-ah and lee-oh can get tangled for me. With time, I think I would be more likely to say Ameel-ya, and that would reduce the issue.
Another reason I might grab Clara while you have the chance is that the rest of your husband’s list (except for Cora, which would likely be crossed off if you used Clara) is made up of modern unisex names. Use Clara now, I say, and set the style you prefer.
Another reason to use Clara is that the two of you agree on it. Am I getting the correct impression that he has not yet come around to the name Amelia? You could give him more time on that, while also possibly getting a little leverage for next time by giving him his first choice this time.
I don’t find the name Amelia to be a mouthful; it seems like a normal-length name to me, and no need for a nickname. While I’ve heard of people using Amy and Mia, those nicknames don’t come naturally for me. If you’d like a nickname, my guess is that some will occur on their own.
It may help you clarify your feelings if you can take the popularity rankings out of it. Imagine that the two names are the same popularity (I wouldn’t be surprised to see them at around the same rankings soon). Does that affect how you feel?
I like both names very much, and think either would be a great choice. If you decide to look for more options, I suggest the category of Antique Charm from The Baby Name Wizard. Amelia and Clara and Cora and Georgia and Hazel are all in that category, along with:
Abigail
Adeline
Annabel
Eliza
Emmaline
Lydia
Nora
Violet
and so on. I’d also add Meredith: I wonder if your husband might like it better than Edith.
Name update!
Hi Swistle! First of all, thank you so much for posting our name dilemma. In the end my husband came around and we couldn’t imagine naming our daughter anything other than Amelia Sue! The name totally fits the spunky firecracker I knew she would be…she even surprised us 3 weeks early! You and your readers provided a lot of insight especially the nickname suggestion of Ammie. We call her that and Ams all the time! Thanks again!
Another nickname for Amelia is Ammie – I do like that nickname.
Swistle, as always, gave you excellent advice and things to think of…I just wanted to chime in that I know an Amelia that goes by “Mim” and it’s adorable. (Which may or may not make letting go of Amelia harder or easier, if you hate Mim.)
Anecdotally, I do know a lot of Amelias, and few Claires/Claras. I have a cousin who is 7ish now, a friend with a one year old, a friend with a four year old, and a two year old Emilia, which I’m including here because while they are different names, I would imagine they are heard as the same name by a lot of people. I know one Clara (in her fifties) and one Claire, five-ish. I’m in the Northeast – New Jersey region.
Almost the same, but the Amelia I knew went by Mimi.
Around here “Mim” is another name for a grandmother, so that hasn’t gotten popular.
Ah, interesting! Yeah, the only Mim reference I have is the Magnificent, Marvelous, Mad Madame Mim from the Disney cartoon, “The Sword in the Stone.” She’s the villain, but I love her character despite that.
I know an almost one year old Amelia who is precious and sweet (and who as of yet does not have a nickname) and I know a 2 year old Clara who is a firecracker, so you never really know the way it will go!
I adore both names but I personally prefer the name Clara. Plus I think Clara Sue has a nice southern charm without being too much.
Amelia and Clara are both lovely names. I got the same impression as Swistle, that you are leaning toward Clara but still love Amelia, and so perhaps Clara will just turn out to be right for this little girl. I think you’ll get some clarity on that over the coming months. I’d long had a few girl name favorites, but we happily landed on one I’d never even considered before my pregnancy. It grew on me and toward the end it just felt like her name; four years later, I still love it.
Another note: I actually really love saying Amelia and Leo together. Amelia! Leo! (Clara! – I want you to have all three!) I don’t trip over the L sounds at all and it’s not sing-songy, just very pleasant to say. I have a friend with a daughter named Amelie, and they sometimes call her Ami (Ahm-ee); that seems more natural with the -e ending of Amelie, but it could still work for Amelia.
A grown-up Amelia here (who is still astonished to see so many babies with her previously uncommon name!) – My name has never felt like too much of a mouthful. My family will call me Milly, but I never used an official nickname, and that’s been fine.
I know a little Clara via the blogosphere and she’s far from quiet and soft-spoken! =) I’m with Swistle – this is the one name that your husband likes (other than Cora, which you don’t), that kinda matches with the vintagey style that you love!
Added bonus, it sounds adorable with Sue – Clara Sue. To the point that I’d love saying them together when you’re trying to get her attention =)
Like the other commenters, I kinda hope that you get another chance to name a baby girl and that your husband comes around to Amelia in round two! Clara and Amelia are a sweet sibset and if there’s a Leo too… perfection! Oh and I kinda love Amelia with Wells, so if she does come second… maybe Leo will get a different middle!
Another nickname for Amelia that seems like a natural is Lia (Lee-ya) – not sure if you’d like that better than Amy or Mia or Mim or Milly? Wonder if Ammie would work? like Emmie? Maybe not?
Of Swistle’s suggestions, I kind of have a soft spot for Violet. It’s my wonderful Grandmother’s name and I’m amazed that no one in my huge family has snapped it up yet!!
I would suggest Stella, but that’s a lotta S with Sue! Same with Cecelia =)
How about Matilda, nn Matty or Tilly? Matilda Sue Logan with an H is so sweet!
Good luck!
Your husband likes the popular sounds, you like the grandma names (my favorite category as well), so it sounds like your category in common would be old fashioned names that are popular again. This includes:
Sophia, Abigail, Charlotte, Elizabeth, Amelia, Evelyn, Victoria, Lily, Hannah, Audrey, Caroline, Lucy, Stella, Eleanor, Katherine, Lydia, Alexandra, Clara, Maria, Mary, Aurora, Elena, Paige, Brooke, Josephine, Ivy.
Do any of these names appeal as much as or more than Clara and Amelia? I’m guessing that Elena might appeal to both of you.
Oh, I was just thinking they might love Evelyn. Sweet vintage name for the OP, similar type sounds to Avery for her husband.
I have to say my impression of the names is opposite of the OPs. Amelia is the quiet/sweet one & Clara is the spunky firecracker! Just goes to show that names are subjective and our personal impressions cloud how we view a name. On a related note, names grow into babies, so if your daughter is spunky, the name you give her will become spunky to you.
I agree you’ve still got plenty of time to decide on a name for certain. Why not make it your goal to expand your list instead of picking between Clara & Amelia? You have time and you may find something you & your husband like even better. Or, you might come back to Clara & Amelia and find it easier to make a choice once you are sure you’ve considered all the options.
Looking at your husband’s list, I think my goal would be to find something that sounds like the names he likes, but are closer style-wise to names you like. Instead of Avery, perhaps Ava, Avis, Eve. Instead of Finley perhaps Fiona? Or something like Serafina or Josephine/Josefina? Harper is a little harder, it makes me think of Harlowe, which reminds me of Margo, so maybe he’d like that? Or perhaps you could look for names ending in “per” that aren’t too modern sounding? Something like Juniper perhaps? Cora already hits the sweet spot. Since he also likes Clara, perhaps you could look at other similar names like Cordelia, Coral, Coraline, Caroline, Corinne, Chloe, Clarissa, etc.
Your names lean a little bit on the musty side. I’ll suggest trying to find slightly fresher alternatives that won’t feel quite so old lady to your husband (FWIW, I like old lady). Violet, Adele, Lucy, Ruby, Caroline, Flora, Audrey.
I was also coming in to laugh about the fact that I think Clara is the spunky name and Amelia is the sweet name!! Funny. Goes to show that you can never predict other people’s responses to the name you choose.
I also really like the pairing of Amelia and Leo. And Clara and Leo is also awesome.
Both names are great, in my opinion. I’d pick the one that you and your husband both love most, when both your opinions are combined.
If Swistle reads you correctly and you really are coming around to Clara and he’s not coming around to Amelia, Clara might be the best choice for now and you can save Amelia for a possible future daughter. Or you could use both. I like double-ends-in-a names. Clara Amelia Logan works for me.
I would recommend going easy on yourself about changing your mind on a name. For one, this is your baby girl together – and so even though Amelia is your old love, it may not be best for the family that is all of you together. Your naming style and his naming style are allowed to blend into “our” naming style and that’s a lovely thing!
It could also be that you use Amelia someday, it’s just not this baby.
For the question in the PS “Why is it that Amelia seems like the bolder more unique name when it’s #15 according to the SSA and Clara seems like the safer more familiar name when it’s #108?” I think it has to do with Amelia being very distinctive in sound, despite it’s popularity. While Clara seems safer/more familiar because it sounds like a lot of other names: Cara/Kara, Dara, Farrah, Sarah, Sierra, Tamara, Tara.. etc.
Honestly, I’m not sure which you should pick. Although out of your husbands choices, Clara does seem to be the only one that goes with your style.
I think of Naoma, Stella, and Camille as more distinctive names that fit with a Amelia/Clara/Leo family if that helps?
Good luck – let us know what you decide!
I’m guessing your perception is based on Amelia Earhart vs. Clara….I dunno, I guess its a pretty name. Since you have several weeks to mull it over, maybe you could pick up a biography of Clara Barton to read and see if your views gradually change? I watched all of Parks & Recreation, with subtitles on, while I was pregnant and it definitely helped me get over my reservations about the name Ann.
I know one year old twins named Amelia and Clara!!!
My twin girls, Clara and Emelia, just turned one this year! So funny to see someone contemplating those names for their own child! We chose our spelling of Amelia so we could call her Emmy. You could also consider other spellings such has Emilia.
Both are such great names!
What about using Amelia but spell it Emilia? This will give you more nn options of Em/Emme, Emma, Emmey/Emmie, Mia, etc. I personally prefer the spelling of Emilia over Amelia.
Other names:
Thea
Ruby
Rose (or other variations such a Rosamund)
Evelyn
Emmeline
June
Marlowe or Harlow
Margo/Margot
Violet
Juliet/Juliette
Brigitte/Brigette
Lucia or Lucy or Luciana
Flora
Faye
Good luck and keep us posted!!
Are you familiar with Doctor Who? The most recent companions are Clara and Amelia (Amy). Both are full of spunk! These characters have made me love both names. Best of luck deciding!
This was my immediate thought too! Both wonderful names!
Clara only sounds similar to Clare if you pronounce it Klare-ah. In England, and most continental countries, it is pronounced Klah-rah. It is also pronounced this way in Doctor Who!
The name Amelia is gorgeous but I prefer the Emilia spelling. Emmy is a cute nickname too!
I don’t think you can go wrong with either name but I really like the sound of Clara (Klah-rah)Sue!
If you both like Clara, but you are worried about the Clare association, what about Cara?
Good luck!
Amelia reminds me of naomi (lots of long vowels), perhaps you like naomi or noemie?
Clara is the invalid in Heidi – a positive association, she is a nice character.
plenty of time to decide :)
Clara and Norah go together in my head…
If not Edith, what about Eden? It sort of has a modern surname sound, but is still uncommon and sounds very similar to Edith.
I completely get the personality associations you made with each name. I do that myself and definitely did that three and a half years ago when we were naming our daughter.
We had several names in mind and I couldn’t help but connect each name to a “type” of person I imagined she might be.
However, for me, I was also very aware that I might need to see my baby in person and meet her face to face to see what name “fit” best.
So here is what we did: We narrowed down our list to three main names (although I will confess that all through the VERY LONG labor, my husband continued to offer other names… partially to take my mind off the contractions). And then a we waited until she was born to figure out which of our “finalist” names fit her best. And I really did have an experience where when I met her in person, I realized right away that my “top choice” name just didn’t seem like the right one.
We went into the hospital expecting to meet at Heidi, Tessa or a Leah (thanks to some helpful advice from Swistle AND people who commented on the letter I sent to this very blog!)
I loved those three names in that order ~ Heidi was my favorite and although not initially my husband’s favorite, it had grown on him quite bit.
When my baby girl was born, I spent from 8 pm to 6 am the next morning snuggling, nursing, getting to know her trying to determine which of those names was hers… and a teeny-tiny bit to my dismay, I just couldn’t look at her and imagine the name Heidi, it just didn’t “fit”… but by 6 a.m. I knew that “Leah” fit perfectly ~ something about her wise and knowing eyes seemed to suggest that I needed to name her that… and 3 and a half years later she is most certainly our little “Leah” ~ and admittedly whatever personality associations I might have had with that name have been completely forgotten and now I can only think of Leah as the tenacious, opinionated, clever, witty spunky little girl we have who has amazing “leadership skills” ~ especially when it comes to keeping her older brother in line!
So this is a very long way of saying that perhaps you should take the pressure off of yourself to pick the “perfect” name and maybe you and your husband could come up with a very short list of fantastic names and then just wait to meet her and see if she seems to be your “sassy, spunky Amelia” or your “sweet soft-spoken Clara”… and then know that no matter what “type” she seems to be when she’s born, she’s going to grow into whoever she is going to be and someday you’ll find that the name you picked was just perfect no matter who she turns out to be!
If you’re comfortable moving the honor name to the front, I wonder if you’d both like Susannah (my favorite girl’s name) — lots of nicknames available ranging from the sweet (Sue, Susie, Sannah) to the spunky (Zuzu, Sukie, Zan).
Are you pronouncing it Clare-uh or Clar-rah?