I’m due in 3 weeks and 5 days and we have made NO progress on the baby boy name. Naming a baby shouldn’t be this stressful!!! Desperately looking for some baby name advice. Anything would help at this point. I’m still holding out for that lightbulb “ahah” moment when I just ‘know’ it’s the one. Anyways, here are the details:
– we have a 2 year old daughter named Mila Juliet Langlee (last name is similiar sounding- but changed for privacy)
– we know we are having a boy
– my husband and I both want to name him James for a first name
—— my husband is obsessed with James Dean and James Bond
—— I like the connection to Jacob – which is a beloved family member name that passed away
—— I think Mila and James sound good together (I think!)
B U T
I’m worried James is way too boring/common. I would really like to spice it up with a middle name (or even 2 middle names) to make it unique and original.
Things we have been toying around with:
– I would love to honor my dad Matthew (Maciej) somehow. But I think Matthew is waaaay to boring – and makes James even more common. And I think the polish version Maciej is just plain to weird for english speakers.
– I have a polish background (hence why we felt we could use Mila) and my husband is English/Irish/German
– Names I have considered but they just don’t seem ‘right’:
—— Christian (i like it but not really a stand out)
—— Tristan (i like but seems kind of out of left field)
—— Liam (too common?)
—— Finn (too casual?)
—— Matteo (I’m not latin…)
—— Luke (meh?)
—— Leo (too nicknamey?)
—— Nicholas (can’t remember who didn’t like this one)AHHHHHHHHH!
Please help!
Oh please oh please oh please!James ‘blank blank’ Langlee
Here is my first question: Do YOU think the name James is boring/common? Or are you worried OTHER people will think so? If YOU think the name is delightful and full of meaning and not boring at all, then I wonder if it would be helpful to practice some shrugging. Any name you choose, there will be someone who thinks it is too boring or too out-there, too common or too unusual, too old or too new, too long or too short. I can see how there could be a group who would hear the name James and think “YAWN.” And to them we say “SHRUG.” Perhaps they would prefer to choose different names for their own babies, then.
I suggest using some spin, even in your own thoughts. When your mind frets that the name James is “too common,” correct it: it’s a popular and enduring classic—as in, a lot of people love it, and a lot of people have loved it for MILLENNIA. Let’s sing that Christina Perri song to the name James:
I have loved you for a
Thousand years
I’ll love you for a
Thousand more
(Sing the “Darling, don’t be afraid” part to yourself.)
Well, all this is if you DO love the name. I find it delightful and not boring at all, and a lot of other people find it delightful and not boring at all, but do YOU find it so? If this is not last-minute fretting but is instead a more serious issue such as that the name James is your husband’s choice but you are really not feeling it, then it is a different matter. In that case I’d suggest telling your husband immediately, switching James to a middle name, and starting over from scratch on the first name. It may feel too late to do that, but it’s a little like calling off a wedding: as the date approaches, it gets harder and harder to do—but if it’s not right, it’s not right.
But if you do love the name and you’d just like to make it a little peppier, then this is a very, very fun task. I think the middle name region is a great place to get adventurous, and a great way to balance the style of a first name: something more conservative for a daring first name, something more daring for a conservative first name.
I also feel much less stress about middle name issues than about first name issues. I might not be sure about a difficult to spell/pronounce name such as Thijs (a name from my own ethnic background) as a first name, but as a middle name? Sure! I might not be sure about the flow of a French first name with the cultural clash of my surname, but as a middle name? Sure! Maybe I’m not sure a name such as Marigold or Clover is one I want to use as a first name, but as a middle name? Sure!
If you were considering Maciej as a first name, I’d be totally with you on the spelling/pronunciation issues for the United States: that was how I felt in the end about the name Thijs: just TOO HARD. But as a middle name, I think it’s terrific. (Pronunciation of Maciej for those who are interested: Forvo, Straight Dope discussion board.)
Middle names are hardly ever used, especially by strangers; I have to put them on paperwork, but even my good friends probably don’t know my middle names or remember my children’s middle names. On the rare occasions when the middle name comes out (probably to someone like me, enthusiastically questioning you at a party or at the park, or maybe to a curious receptionist), you’ll say “It’s my dad’s name,” and that will be the end of it; you’re more likely to get a “Cool!” than a funny look.
Of the other names on your list, I’d get rid of any that seem meh or boring to you, but keep any that you’re only worried will seem meh or boring to others. Do you love the name Liam? Then it’s not too common.
Finn doesn’t seem too casual to me, Leo doesn’t seem too nicknamey.
If you love Tristan, I don’t think it matters if it’s out of left field: in fact, that’s a point in its favor, if your goal is to spice up the name. James Tristan Maciej Langlee is a splendid name.
I suggest using this as your main filter: Does the name make your heart give a happy little jump and make baby-naming seem like fun again? Then keep it on the list. Does it make you sigh and feel as if this task is futile? Then cross it off. If you’re left with none, go back to the baby name book and skim it; see if any names give you that happy feeling. Any that stay on the list or are added to the list, write them on little pieces of paper and start playing with arrangements. Like this:
Your husband likes James because he loves James Bond and James Dean; are there some actors/characters/authors/poets/scientists/activists you love, and do any of them have first/last names you could use? If the surname is your husband’s, would your maiden name be useable? Do you have any more family names you could use, including surnames and male versions of women’s names (Paul to honor a Paula, for example)? Do you have any names you considered as first names but had to rule out for reasons that were important for a first name but wouldn’t be important for a middle name (for example, a friend already used the name, or it’s the name of a dearly loved family member but you really dislike their name, or it didn’t sound right with the surname)? I notice you like Leo and Matteo; would you like Hugo or Nico? I notice you like Leo and Liam; would you like Leon or Lee? (Well, perhaps not with the surname, depending on what it is.) If Nicholas is not quite right, would you like Nico or Cole? I notice you like Christian and Tristan; I wonder if you (or your daughter, if she’s old enough to enjoy the movie Frozen) would like Kristoff? And so on.
I am all for James Maciej (Name that you love, with meaning or is fun, or out there or even blank) Langlee.
I think middle names are the perfect spot for names that you couldn’t use for a first name whether due to spelling or pronunciation issues or if they’re totally out there (for you). Like a friend of mine has kids with middle names Indigo and an Oz, which I love. Since James is for your husband and Maciej is an honor name from your side, maybe you could find something meaningful to you as a couple to use as a middle. Like if you guys go hiking all the time, “Forest” or something nature related, or if you’re into literature, a name of a character or poet that you love, etc.
Good luck!
My daughter is adopted from China, and (in a move I believe is common among adoptive parents) we gave her a Western first name and kept her Chinese name as her middle name. It’s difficult for Americans to spell and pronounce. So what? It’s full of meaning and part of her identity, and I am delighted to have it be right there in the middle name spot.
I love James, by the way. I don’t think it’s boring at all. But then, my son’s name is Matthew! :) I love James Nico Maciej for you.
I love the name James and don’t think it’s overly common!
One bit of fair warning, though – if you choose Malcolm or Alexander as a middle, you may have a few squeeing fangirls fawning over your little boy and asking you about the Outlander series ;)
Maciej sounds like a great choice, if you can get behind the spelling/pronunciation challenges – as others have said, that doesn’t come up as often as you might think, once the announcements go out.
If you can’t, maybe you can go with something personal to you and your husband – the location where you met, got engaged, got married, honeymooned, a favourite book/movie character, someone who inspires you or is famous in your fields of study or a favourite musician? Sometimes the baby name books can be uninspiring and reminiscing with your husband about your relationship and your interests can be so much more fun!
My daughter’s name came from a song my husband was singing when I noticed him at a party, so I guess I’m fully on this train of thought :) We went to see the new Tron movie when I was very pregnant and I remember thinking “if I go into labor in here, I think her middle name might have to be Flynn – it’s too perfect of a story to miss out on” I didn’t, but I probably would’ve!
Good luck to you!!
If you want to honor your dad but think the original is too complicated and Matthew too plain, how about Matthias?
That being said I think the original would also be just fine in the middle name spot.
Or maybe your dad’s middle name?
I agree if you use it in the middle you don’t need to worry about the pronunciation of Maciej and it’s a nice tribute. If your maiden name is usable, that’s another good option.
My son is James Tristan and we are very happy with it. Yes – James is classic so it can seem boring to some people but my son is way more likely to meet multiple Dylans or Calebs or Liams than he is to meet another James (true in our area anyway).
Two middle names and as ‘out there’ as you want them = good idea in my mind. It will probably help you to think of James as less ‘boring.’
Also, first initial J can go well as a nickname with middle initial – JT, JB, JD or whatever…if you like that.
I agree with Swistle.
Some other suggestions: Leo/Liam make me think of Levi. Levi makes me think of Eli and Elijah.
Christian & Tristan make me think of Sebastian. Or Crispin and Tarquin.
If Finn strikes you as too casual, maybe Griffin or Finnigan instead. Perhaps Finley, depending on the real last name.
Instead of Luke, maybe Lucas or Luca? Matteo is really nice and you don’t have to be Latin to use it (especially as a middle).
Other random names that occur to me are Benedict, Bennett, Simon, Lachlan, Declan, & Julian
My mind went to Swistle’s suggestion of tapping into your husband’s love of James Dean and James Bond. Maybe you could go with the name of his favorite James Dean character (I’m partial to Cal from ‘East of Eden’ or Jett from ‘Giant’) or the author of the James Bond novels, Ian Fleming? Good luck naming your little one! :)
I missed your comment before I made mine! I second Ian for the same reason.
I think that men like names that are 1) familiar and 2) evoke a good image. I can see why your husband gravitates towards James but if it is just too popular (and it is very popular) or too plain for you, I would try expanding your husbands name palette. Talk about other names so he gets used to hearing them, and then introduce him to desirable characters with that name. I suggest the name Ian. It is around the same popularity as Mila. Then you can have him watch “Fleming, the Man Who Would Be Bond” on Netflix. This is about Ian Fleming, who wrote James Bond and is just as much desirable as his invented character.
James Hawk Langlee
Just sounds cool to me and very masculine and different. Has great imagery, soaring high, Powerful and nature.
I think James is a great name and actually underused. I also think you could totally just use your fathers name as a middle. I agree that middle names with meaning are powerful.
I find James Maciej very cool as the j ending of the middle name ties into the J begining of James. If you want a third middle name, I do like the suggestions of Hawk and Ian.
However, I really like Dean as a first name with your last name and sister Mila. What about Dean James or Dean Maciej?
I think Maciej is great!! If you really are looking to spice up James’s name, THAT is the way to go!
I loved that the siblings would have similar initials if you used Maciej. (MJ and JM)
James is my favourite name. Classic is not the same as boring :)
I second Matthias
James is great! Jamison is another option if you want something more unusual, too.
I love James Maciej!
What about Travis?
James Travis Maciej
I really like the sound of James Tristan Maciej!
Hunter or Archer?
James Hunter Maciej
James Archer Maciej
Love these!
Good luck!
James Ewan Maciej would be very handsome!
What is your father-in-law’s name? Maybe you could honor both the grandfathers.
James _______ Maciej Langlee
James Lincoln Maciej?
James is my favorite baby boy name! We are not yet pregnant but trying for #2. I think it is a survivor of a name because it is such a cool sound. The -zzz at the end is just cool. I say go for it!