Hi Swistle,
Thanks so much for reading my question. I have a baby due at the end of the year, and my best friend has a baby due about three months before me. We finally sat down and talked baby names and it turns out we had decided on the same boy name! She knows that she is having a boy and will be naming him Jasper.
We have a son named Zaiden William Steward. For our next boy named we had decided on Jasper Grey Steward. Our girl name is Maizy Tangerine Steward. (Many people react to Maizy Tangerine with a slow “Oh… that’s interesting.” But we love it and think it’s adorable, so we’re sticking with it.)
So, obviously I would feel weird about naming my next baby the same name as my friend, even though I know we thought of it independently of each other.
The other boy names that were list are:
Thatcher Flynn Steward – My partner likes Thatcher but doesn’t love it, and had previously considered Flynn as a baby name with an ex, so that name is out.
Kiran Sky Steward – Decided against Kiran because there are no good nicknames and also, it sounds an awful lot like “Karen”.
So I guess we have a list of boy names we like, for either first or middle names, but really just aren’t finding a name that feels as perfect as Jasper Grey.
The full list of names we like:
Thatcher (I love it, partner is kind of meh about it)
Flynn (association with an ex)
Sky
Greyson
Grey
Jasper (best friend conflict)
Liam (partner has a bad association with this one, no good nickname as it is already a nickname on it’s own. I don’t like Lee or Li for a boy.)
Lupin (not my favorite, partner loves it. I also don’t like the nickname Lu or Lou for a boy.)
Jackson
Jax
Avery (no good nickname).So we tend to like unusual names that aren’t too crazy (okay, except for the Tangerine part). I think nicknames are somewhat inevitable so I’d like to make sure the most natural nickname is one we like.
We call our son Zai (pronounced Zay) most of the time and we really like this.
I guess my question is: do you have any suggestions for the “perfect” boy name – a first and middle name together? I am sad to let go of Jasper Grey, and I think I’d feel a lot better about it if there was something else I loved.
Thanks for your help!
I notice that both Zaiden/Zai and Maizy have a long-A sound and a Z sound. If you’re planning more than two children, and so might save Maizy for a future girl even if you have a boy this time, probably we want to avoid adding more A/Z-sound names to the list. But if you’re planning to stop after two, I might look at A/Z names in the hopes of finding another boy name you like.
I might have suggested Hayes, but it doesn’t seem quite right with the surname: I hear “Hey, Steward.”
Hazen works better with the surname, but has even more sounds in common with Zaiden: the long-A, the Z, AND the -en.
James has the long-A and Z sounds, but may be too common for your tastes, and with the surname makes me think of James Stewart—not a negative association, but fairly strong.
Isaac might be a nice fit, similar without being too similar: it has the Z sound but without a Z, and a long-I instead of a long-A. But it’s a different style than Zaiden and Maizy. Same with Isaiah.
Zavier, maybe, similar in sound to Avery. Zaiden and Zavier are so visually similar, though, and no good nickname.
Well, you get the idea. But from your list, I don’t get the feeling the Z/A route is what you’re looking for, so let’s now look at other options:
Archer
Baxter
Brogan
Callan
Corbin
Cormac
Declan
Felix
Finn
Finian
Fletcher
Griffin
Hatcher
Keaton
Keegan
Lennox
Maddox
Meyer
Paxton
Tiernan
(I just reinvented the name Jason. I was looking at Jasper and Jackson, and I thought of Jase/Jace. Then I thought, “But the ending S-sound blends with the surname; maybe extend Jace to Jacen?”)
I recommend shifting the focus of your search: instead of trying to find another name as perfect as Jasper Grey, I suggest looking for the name you like best of all the names that are left to choose from. It’s a subtle shift, but may help avoid the discouragement of holding each name up to Jasper Grey and having each name fall short.
I wonder, though, if you want to reconsider your decision not to use the name. WOULD it be too weird if you and your friend both had sons named Jasper? What if you had met after naming your babies? In that situation, it would likely be a fun connection rather than a weird problem. Since you both know that you chose the name independently, and since you love the name and consider it perfect, could you decide to go with it? In the long run, it may not be as big an issue as it seems now.
I’m inclined to pursue Grey/Greyson from your list, or maybe Grady. It lets you keep part of your original choice, and it’s good with Zaiden and a possible future Maizy. Do you mind that Grey rhymes with Zai? I generally don’t mind if nicknames rhyme or cause other minor trouble, even though I DO mind if given names do so.
I wonder if you might like to use Greyson Jasper. This lets you use Jasper where it won’t seem like duplicating your friend’s choice. Zaiden William and Greyson Jasper; Zai and Grey. It might be a pro or a con that a possible future Maizy would make three children with rhyming first syllables: Zai, Grey, and Mai.
Name update!
Hi Swistle!
We were so grateful that you read and posted our letter. We loved reading all of your suggestions, as well as the replies from other readers.
My letter had stated that we needed a boy name, but that we’d already decided on Maizy Tangerine for a girl. Well, as we got closer and closer to the due date, Maizy Tangerine just didn’t feel right anymore (although we still love it). We completely started over with girl names and considered names like:
Emmerson Rae
Wilder Rae
Elliotte Grace
Sawyer Grace
Piper Anne
and many others.In the end, our baby turned out to be a little girl and we named her Frankie Mae Wilder Steward. Frankie Mae is her first name and Wilder is her middle name.
She is the sweetest, cuddliest, happiest baby ever and her name suits her perfectly.
Thanks for your help, even though we didn’t end up needing a boy name after all! We love reading your posts!
I’d suggest Dashiell Grey. It’s similar in sound and rhythm to Jasper, and has the great nickname of Dash. Zai and Dash.
Yes, Dash(iell) is so cute here.
Love Swistle’s suggestion of Greyson Jasper. It’s perfect! I also like Thatcher Grey for you.
Thatcher Grey is the name of Meredith Grey’s father on Grey’s Anatomy! I don’t know if anyone else thought of this, but it was my first reaction as a GA fan =]
I second Swistle’s suggestion of Greyson Jasper! Grey is such a cute nn and you still get Jasper, you could always call him that too. My little brother goes by his middle name a lot.
Here are a few suggestions, some more adventurous than others:
Zeke
Jarvis
Larkin
Aspen
Granger
Xavier
Harvey
Justus
Perry
Axel
Dexter
Oscar
Blaze
Troy
Also, I don’t think it’s that big of a deal if you both have boys named Jasper. If it really does bother you though and you don’t want to give up Jasper completely, the middle name is a nice spot for it.
Fletcher would be a great choice. I saw Thatcher Flynn and immediately thought of Fletcher. I see that Swistle has also thought of Fletcher. I think it hits the unusual but not strange sweet spot, and fits in well with your other names and your taste in names.
I have a friend who gave her son the same name as mine and they were arrived at independently. It’s fine. It’s really no big deal at all. We say my Henry, your Henry or Big Henry and Little Henry. The boys call themselves Henry 1 and Henry 2. Jasper is in the SSN 200s while Henry was in the middle 100s when we two families picked it. I’m very sensitive to this being a 1977 Jennifer, but the naming landscape is so different and diffuse now. it’s really fine if that’s the name you love.
I wonder if Asa might be the perfect name for you. To me it is very similar to Jasper…long history of use, but not “classic” in a way that clashes with Zaiden or Maizy, with a great single syllable nickname for every day use. Something like Cyrus or Silas might fit too.
You might also look at some of the boy nature names….Ash, Birch, Cypress, Canyon, River. It seems like you like names with a lot of meaning, and that can be a good place to start.
(Also, don’t rule out Jasper).
Like Swistle, I would advise you to consider if using the same name as a friend is that big a deal. The (sad) reality is that you may not be friends forever. One or both of you might move. You might drift apart naturally, as friends often do. Are you very sure they will they be in school together? If so, I would say look for a different name because it is very annoying to be one of many kids with the same name. Otherwise, I wouldn’t let the adult-friend connection influence you too much. Very close bonds form when you’re pregnant at the same time as a friend, and may last until kids enter school, but once they’re in separate clubs and classes that connection can fade. Unless your kids are BESTIES this would be a very minor issue, even if you stay friends.
My best friend and I have the same name. I was 6 and she was 8. We were introduced by a mutual friend ONLY because we had the same name. We thought it was super fun having the same name. Friends and family used to called us “Big Alisha” and “Little Alisha” (not as appealing 23years later- not many adult women like to be called “Big”. We just go by Alisha now, or if necessary initials or last name) and if people were referring to us together they would call us A2 (A Squared). We still get called A2, and we still have a special bond over growing up with the same name.
If you love the name Jasper, then I wouldn’t rule out using it! : )
I am in the minority but I do not think Greyson works well as a brother name for Zaiden. The rhyming nicknames would bother me and I think Grey takes away from of the uniqueness of Zaiden.
A nice alternative to Jasper is Casper. Zai and Cas. I also like Zebulon. Zai and Zeb. I also like Oscar… Zai and OZ. Perhaps Jethro would work .. Zai and Jet.
I really like the suggestions of Fletcher, Dashiell, Jethro, and Casper (a variant of Jasper!). Maybe:
Japheth
Joah
Jericho
Caspian
Ezra
Tycho
Cason
Rylan
Pax
A thought about Swistle’s suggestion of Zavier — while I don’t love it for this family, because Zaiden and Zavier are a lot of Zay, I will say that if the parents love it, I would change the spelling to Xavier, to avoid the matchy appearance. I also disagree that there are no good nicknames — Xavey and Xave (pronounced Zavey and Zave, rhyme with Davy and Dave) are what the Xaviers I know go by.
Like Swistle, I also thought Grey Jasper or Greyson Jasper.
BTW love the comment on reinventing Jason! Ha!
Have you considered Jaxon? You have Jackson and Jax on your list. It goes MUCH better with Zaiden than Jasper or any of these literary names being suggested (in my opinion). It has the nickname you wanted. It has similar sounds to Jasper. Jaxon Grey would still be great. It has a fun end-of-alphabet letter in it, like Zaiden and Mazie. I think it’s a win.
What about Evander, shortened to Van?
Zaiden and Evander. Zay and Van. I really like this combination.
What about Zebedee with the nickname of Zeb?
Lorenzo nn Enzo – or just Enzo
Boaz nn Bo
Ezra
I think brothers Zaiden & Boaz / Zai & Bo are charming.
Good luck! Let us know what you decide!
OMG Zai and Bo. That’s ridiculously cute.
I vote Greyson Jasper too, calling him Grey.
Zander Zai & Zan, Paxton Zai & Pax, Kiptin Zai & Kip, Axel Zai & Ax, Kashton Zai & Kash, Silas Zai & Si, Kaizer (Ky-zer) Zai & Kai, Kyler Zai & Ky, Treyton Zai & Trey, Huxley Zai & Hux, Cayson Zai & Case, Maverick Zai & Mav, Coleson Zai & Cole, Colter Zai & Colt.
How about Xander?
Since you like nicknames, would you even be calling him ‘Jasper’ most of the time? Maybe calling him ‘Jas’ would keep things different enough to let you both use the name.
Fun variant spellings of Casper: Kasper, Kacper. But I am strongly in the go with Jasper! camp.
Also, I love Maizy Tangerine.
Ooh Evander is an inspired suggestion. Dashiell too.
I like swistle suggestion of Greyson jasper.
I also like Jaxon or Daxton .
Marrec Grey Is very handsome.
Adding to the chorus to say that Dashiell would be lovely, and Evander, for some reason, strikes me as the perfect option. Yes, Kelsey!
Also wanted to add that we know a Xavier that is pronounced Zah-vee-air and goes by the nickname Xavi, pronounced Zah-vee–like the soccer player. Super cute! It’s not my favorite with Zaiden, but I wanted to add that to the convo of no good nickname for Xavier.
Thanks!! Still love it after thinking about it all day!! Hehe
Have you talked to the friend about alos loving the name- she might think it’s an issue, but she might not. Shortly after I was born, my parents had fiends who were expecting- they liked my name (an of course though I was awesome ) and wanted to use the same one. My parents told them to go ahead, and it was just never an issue.
Love the name Jasper, by the way- but it would sound dumb with our last name. Also love Felix, and Devlin
Use Jasper. I would seriously question a friendship that couldn’t survive having two sons with the same name arrived at independently. If you’re friend can’t handle that, I’m not sure what the worth of the friendship is. As far as the practicalities of it go– when socializing with her, yours can be Jasper S. or Jasper Grey, or any number of casual nicknames (JJ, Jas, etc). It also doesn’t sound like they’ll be in the same class year (if same school district) depending on their arrival dates.
If you have a girl, Maizy Tangerine is cute! Personally I prefer the spellings Maisie or Maisy for all kinds of reasons, but in your specific case because I think they look nicer with Steward.
Good luck!
I completely get why Jasper is off the table, and I wouldn’t use it. There are plenty of names out there. What about something like Ryder? Lachlan?
What about reversing your original choice and using Grey Jasper?
“I just reinvented the name Jason.” – HA! Love it.
Lots of great suggestions! I think you should still use Jasper Grey, but in case you don’t, how about Zion or Ezra?
My best friend and I had babies when we met our boys are the same age and same name, it is not an issue for us. We call them first+middle to differentiate when necessary though this is rare. They are now 10 and have never had a problem.
Personally I would lean away from grey jasper as jasper is not grey! My brain just can’t let that go – sorry. Grayson jasper doesn’t have the same issue for me.
If I was likely to have 2 kids I would consider an A name (a + z) seems cool to me I know an Alexavier which has lots of cool nn possibilities and may suit your style.
When I just started reading the question, my answer was to use Greyson Jasper so I’m glad that Swistle agrees :p I think ideally I’d still go with Jasper Greyson. There doesn’t appear to be any hostility or name-claiming from either side so I think it’d be a cute connection.. Or I’d even do Jasper Greyson/Grey and call him Grey or Greyson.
i think you should just go with the name you love.
If you and your friend decided upon Jasper independently, and neither of you mind, why not? You sound like you will really regret it if you don’t.
If not, I think Dashiell nn Dash is a great suggestion.
What about Ramsay/Ramsey? I think it sounds fantastic with Zaiden!
Zaiden and Ramsey. Zai and Ram!
Ramsey Grey is very cool!
Good luck!
Maizy Tangerine is adorable.
Alternatives to Jasper:
Caspian Grey- Zaiden, Caspian and Maizy
Crispin Grey- Zaiden, Crispin and Maizy
Cassius Grey- Zaiden, Cassius and Maizy
Victor Grey- Zaiden, Victor and Maizy
Felix Grey- Zaiden, Felix and Maizy
Ciaran Grey- Zaiden, Ciaran and Maizy
I was going to suggest Casper/Caspar (like this version because it’s less like the friendly ghost in my head ;) or Gaspar (like the wise man). Or Xavier (pronounced with or without the “X” sound, but perhaps with to make the distinction from Zaiden).
No idea why these struck me, but Peregrine? Nicknames Perry or Reggie. I love the Falcon idea. Or Kodiak .. maybe it looks too close to Kodak, but it’s such an awesome name (as a type of bear). Plus it has the great nickname of Kody :)
Also, I was admittedly taken aback by Tangerine at first ..but I kind of love it. If Clementine is such a popular name, why can’t Tangerine be, too?? Tangy/Tange are such a cute nicknames! Or Geri or Erin .. sheesh, why don’t more people use that name? I think we as a culture need a perspective shift on that name stat :)