I’m expecting my second little girl in July and we just can’t find a name that is as special as our older daughters name.
My 2 year old daughter is Miley which is a combination of my husband and my own name, Michael and Ashley. Her middle name is after her paternal grandmother who passed away just before we found out we were expecting. Her name felt so perfect and came to me so easy.
I feel like we need to give this girl a family name or at least a name with some meaning since Miley is so special to us. The problem is I have no idea how to combine our names to come up with another name. Does naming 2 kids after yourself make me a narcissist? I am not a fan of our parents names, they’re all VERY dated. IE: Connie, Scott, Penny, Vance.
Our last name is Tschauner (with a silent T). While I would like something that isn’t hugely popular, I don’t want her to have to spell her first AND last name each time she says it.
Ashley
A familiar naming practice in our society is to name the firstborn son after the father. When that practice is followed, it doesn’t seem as if most of those families feel they have to match that level/type of specialness for the second child’s name. The feeling seems to be that the firstborn child gets the big special honor name (sometimes because the parents want this, other times because of family pressures), and then after that the names are chosen differently and/or more freely. Maybe they DO also use an honor name for the second child, but it isn’t as if they always choose the mother’s name because that’s the only name that would be an equal honor.
It would be the same if your maiden name had been, say, Meredith, and you’d named your first daughter Meredith. You wouldn’t need to rearrange the letters of your maiden name to come up with another maiden-name name for your second daughter, nor would you need to find another family maiden name: the idea would be that you’d had a special honor name to use, and so you’d used it for your firstborn child, and now naming could proceed for subsequent children the same as if there HADN’T been a special honor name.
And I say the same for this situation you’re in. You gave your firstborn child a name that was a combination of her parents’ names, and that was a fun and clever and special idea. But now I don’t think you need to somehow do the same for all your children, any more than you would if you had a Michael Tschauner Jr. or a Meredith. You’ve used the special honor name, and now you can proceed just as you would if you HADN’T used a special honor name for your firstborn.
Furthermore, I don’t think the Michael + Ashley connection is going to occur to people who meet your daughter. If you’d named her Ashley-Michaela, people might notice; but the name Miley is a subtle tribute. Others will not be wondering why you didn’t do the same for a second daughter.
I do understand the impulse to match the specialness. If you would like to pursue that option, I think it’s a good idea to ask how far you’re willing to go to succeed. Considering your firstborn is named after both her parents, it would be difficult to match that level of honor. Perhaps you could use all four grandparent names, sacrificing the preference for names you like in favor of the preference for namesake specialness: Miley and her little sister Connie Vance Penny Scott.
I suggest instead redefining what you consider “special.” A name can be special for many, many, many reasons—and as much as I like sibling names to coordinate, I don’t see any reason the type of specialness needs to coordinate. The next child’s name can be special because it reminds you of a place that’s special to you, or because it’s the name of an author or poet or actor or scientist who is special to you, or because you both loved it so much.
If you are certain this is your final child, and if you find the only level of specialness that feels right to you is the exact kind you used for your first child’s name, then I suggest looking at El- names (the last two letters of Michael instead of the first two) and Ash- names (the first three letters of Ashley instead of the last three). Or Michaela is still available, perhaps as a middle name. Something like Ellery Ashlyn could work: the El- of Michael, the -y of Ashley and then the Ash- of Ashley. Or Sasha Michaela: the -ash- of Ashley, the Michael- of Michael. Or you could make her initials M.A. or A.M.
But this sort of thing makes me feel a little tired. It feels forced. It’s as if you had a Michael John Tschauner Jr., and now we were trying to name a second son John Michael or Jonathan Micah: it’s never going to measure up to the original honor, and it feels so unnecessary to attempt it. And on top of that, I think it reduces the specialness of the second name rather than increasing it, by making it seem like a paler version of the firstborn’s name.
No, I vote to scrap the whole idea. Give your second daughter an honor name only if there’s one you like and want to use. Or if there are none you like, give her as a middle name the disliked name of someone you love and want to honor. Make her name special by choosing something you love, especially for her.
What other types of special work for you? You could look at name meanings, for instance Kathryn Joy would man “Pure Joy”.
I keep thinking of ways to reference Miley’s name or you and Michael, and I keep discarding them because they feel derivative. You did something very clever, but I think it’d be a mistake to aim for the same sort of reference for this baby’s name. It would be the same type of special, but never AS special. But a different kind of special could be just-as-special in a fresh way.
I think using an honor name for the middle name is a good idea. Or if you like your own middle name, you could use that for a first name. Or consider a name with personal meaning for you. For instance, my son is named after the dorm where my wife and I met in college. Are there any town, street names, etc, that were important in your past and work as names? Maybe the flowers you used at your wedding since it’s a girl and many flower names are also girls’ names? Good luck.
I don’t think naming your children after you or your family makes you a narcissist. However, it does seem like being tied to a family name is hemming you in.
I would pick a name you love for the first name, as swistle suggests and maybe choose an honor name for the middle. Your maiden name might work well there or your middle name, neither of which you mention. I also thought of Constance (Connie +Vance) as a potential middle name. I also love Penelope as a subtle tribute to Penny.
Names that I think pair well in a sibset with Miley:
Alyssa
Ashtyn
Avery
Brooke
Elyse
Emily (is an anagram of Miley!)
Everly
Kayla
Kira
Leah
Madelyn
Natalie
Sydney
If you want another combination of Michael and Ashley, I suggest Kayla or Kaylee. You’d be changing spellings around, but I think the connection is still there.
Or the fact that you’re so happy with the combination of your names into Miley makes me think that you would be happy with other combo names…you say your parents names are very dated, but maybe look for names that include the first letter from each of their names. Scott + Penny could lead to Sophia, for example. Or I wonder if you would like a name that’s connected to where you and your husband met, or something like that?
Kerry’s suggestion is great! Kayla or Kaylee is another lovely/ not really popular option, if you want a different combination of Michael and Ashley!
Another idea would be to find another way to honor your second baby – are there any locations that are special to the two of you? Where you were engaged, first date, street name of your first home together? Do you two share a favourite book or movie with a character who’s name you could use? It would be a different but equally sweet story to tell your new child about where their name came from. Good luck!
I like the suggestion of Emily (is an anagram of Miley!)
I have to say that I do love Swistle’s Ellery suggestion, but I do agree on choosing a name that you love – just because you love it, and it will be special for this baby! Good luck!
(I think my previous post is probably awaiting approval, but just in case)
You have already picked the name that is the most special combination of your names. #2’s name can be just as special, but in a different way. Name Wizard’s Laura Emerson did a post on the Baby Name Blog (page 5) on baby names that sound like love. Perhaps you’d be interested in those names?
Alva, Amara, Ava, Clove, Dove, Evelyn, Lavinia, Love, Mauve, Olive (anagram of “I love”), Sylvie, Valentina, Valeria, Viola.
It’s good you reposted: I don’t see anything in the queue, so something must have gone wrong with the first one.
I completely understand the desire to name a second child an equal amount of special, especially the second daughter. I went through the exact same feelings, and then someone pointed out that I named my first daughter the “perfect” name because the name itself was so great. But I named the second child a “perfect” name not because the name was so great, but because I wanted to be equal. Does that make sense? That my motivation wasn’t because I loved the second name SO much, but because I wanted an equal name that I loved so much. (I’m afraid I’m not explaining this well.)
So, I agree with previous posters to look at other incredibly special names. If you weren’t doing a name smash or naming after a grandparent, what is your next most special memory? Flowers at your wedding? Place of honeymoon? Street you lived on? Month she is born? Or since I see that is July, what about Ruby for her birthstone? Your favorite color?
Or if you really like mash-up names, what about smushing your middle names? Or your favorite flowers? Or your maiden name and his middle?
If you really want to do your first names, I suggest Amabel or Abigail.
For middle names, how about honoring a maternal grandmother? That will make it an “equal” level of honor.
Oh, also check out the babynamewizad.com, and try the Name Finder. You can put which beginnings and endings you want and the finder searches all names for ones that fit. It is fun!
Hm, Leah? That uses letters from Ashley/Michael..
If you like the Kayla/Kaylee suggestion above, using Cayla/Caylee would again keep all the same letters from your names.
Something like Payton uses letters from all four of the grandparents names?
I agree with Swistle that if you can’t find a family name you like (let alone love), and can’t figure out a special tribute name either, then it’s best to move on to finding a name that’s special because it’s one that you & your husband love.
That said– I disagree that Penny is dated! Have you looked at the popularity stats on Penelope? It hasn’t reached mega-popular heights like Olivia or Charlotte, but wow, it’s the highest it has ever been since records began in the 1800s, coming in at #56 (in the US). It’s very stylish right now. Was your family member just Penny? Or was it short for Penelope? One option could be to name your daughter Penelope, and use one of the other nicknames– Nell, for example. It’s also not an impossible stretch to get Poppy, Pippa, Piper, or Ellie out of it.
I also think Vance could be a very daring but in a way pleasing girl’s name. Maybe a bit much with your surname though?
Honestly, I’d consider something like Penelope Vance, Penelope Scott, or Penelope Constance, nickname Nell or Piper or Ellie. All of those nicknames go really sweetly with Miley!
I like Penelope Constance as a nod to both grandmothers.
I love Penelope, nn Poppy!
I kind of love Penny and Miley together – assuming you would want to honor Penny that is.
Also, if no names are doing it for you in the honor or meaning category, then just go for something you love because you love it! The fact that it will belong to your daughter will make it special enough.
Oh, and one more thing– you list your parents’ names, but not grandparents. It’s totally acceptable and I think actually more common to name kids after their great grandparents (the parents’ grandparents). Do any of your or your husbands’ grandparents have pleasing names?
I agree with others that there are other ways to give a special name than to mashup the parent’s names or honour grandparents. What about your best friends? Are there any family surnames that might work as a first name? What is the name of the street you grew up on? What restaurant did you meet your husband in?
For example: Linden is the name of the house my British grandmother lived in. Kendall is my cousin’s surname. Johanne or Rianne are mashups of me & my partner’s parents names. Clementine is a feminine form of the street name where I grew up. Colin is part of the name of my high school. I think these all make awesome kid names!! You must have some sort of equivalent if you look outside the box. I love the idea of just choosing your favourite name for the first name and something with special meaning as the middle. That would make a very special name!!
My parents had seven children. The boys were given first names my parents just liked and honor middle names. They gave the first born, a girl, a mash up of their names, which I love, the second daughter was named after my mother’s best friend with a “Lee” added to make it uniquely hers, and my name is a mash up of my grandmothers, women I could look up to and try to emulate. My sisters and I all love our names and what makes each special. I feel strongly about giving a name with meaning, whatever that means to you, be it an honor name, mash up, or the literal meaning of a name. Your children will come to know that meaning and the story behind it and take pride in it, whatever that is, as long as you love it and convey that love to them.
The story of how your selected your oldest daughters name is special and lovely. The important thing is to have a similar special story regarding your second daughters name – not the same story.
Obviously we don’t know what other names could have a special meaning for you. But maybe to stimulate your thought process, here are the special stories of some others. (I will avoid the stories about family names).
I know a girl named Paris because her parents honeymooned there. Another coupl named their son Richmond because they met in Richmond, Va.
Someone else chose the name Willow because there first kiss was under a willow tree. I knew a Rose growing up named because of her mother’s love of roses and her father’s proposal that involved dozens of roses.
And of course, there are people who’s name reflects a shared interest of the parents. I have an acquaintance who named a daughter Leila because both parents were Star Wars fans. Someone else named there son Maverick because they share a love of old Westerns.
So In making your list of possibilities, you should consider your shared interests and experiences. Those make for good stories.
But also remember, the following stories are special as well:
“we poured over hundreds of names while pregnant with you chose the one we loved most”
“the moment we saw you, we knew that …. was the perfect name for you. Your were so (spunky) (sweet) (whatever) and your name captured that feeling for us.”
Also, please remember if you make this child’s name a combination of you and your husbands names, what happens if you have a third child? It seems better to break the pattern of trying to name her after you two now rather than have the potential for a third child being left out of tha approach.
The first name that came to mind was the Russian name Mishka. It is a male name in Russia, a derivative of Michael, but I have seen it on girls before. It incorporates the sounds from both your names and I think it sounds lovely.
Miley and Mishka
There is also Misha/Mischa, like the actress Mischa Barton, that has the same origins. It is pronounced Meesha, sometimes Mish-ah.
Good luck!
Here’s an example of different types of special:
My first-born’s name is special because the names together create a beautiful image of something I love, like the example above of Kathryn Joy meaning ‘Pure Joy’.
My second-born’s name is special because the first name has a straightforward important religious meaning, and the middle name is a family name.
I consider both these names very special to me but in different ways. I’m happy with both and I’m comfortable explaining each child’s name to them as special.
How about Kasha? That uses the leftover letters/sounds of your names, but feels modern and international. I like Miley & Kasha.
Or…. Your parents names have strong N-sounds except Scott. You could do another subtle honour by choosing Sienna? I love the sound of sisters Miley and Sienna. Both spunky and modern.
Good luck! You have a great challenge. I also agree that you can give yourself a break if nothing ‘perfect’ comes up. Sometimes you come up with a name so perfect for your family that nothing can match it. So you have to look elsewhere. I echo the idea to look to meaningful places or songs or small details that matter to your family.
So um, fyi, kasha is a food. Maybe only well known in Jewish circles, but still – http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/02/13/not-your-bubbes-kasha/
it’s also a name, though. I know a Kasha in her 30s and a little girl with that name.
What about Misha? I saw someone further up recommend that… and it really works! It combines the first two letters of Michael and (reversed) the first three of Ashley.
Also, my fiance was reading over my shoulder and suggested “Ashael” (pronounced ASH-el). But much as I love him, I’m not sure I can recommend that one. :/
Shae. It combines two letters from the middle of your names. Miley and Shae. Though, I realize with your last name, it doesn’t quite work.
My oldest’s name honors my late stepfather and both of my grandmothers, as well as her father’s and my shared heritage. It hits that sweet spot of immediately recognizable but rare. Her sister’s middle name honors my grandfather, but her first name has no real signicance at all. Her father wanted a Roman name, and it came to me the day we found out her amnio results. It is far more common, and definitely more of a mom name. And you know what? I love both of them. G, but I pl ay with my youngest’s more. She has more nicknames, I use her full name, I mess with it.
So dont 2worry about matching the first one. You will lovr the second, too, just as you will your daughter, because it is hers.
If we knew your middle names that might be helpful as well but without that information I suggest: Challey
What about Elisha or Lael? Both incorporate letters from each of your names.
Miley and Elisha
Miley and Lael (Laela is nice too.)
I think Penny is just adorable by the way!
With the full name Penelope being so ‘in’ right now, and the popular character Penny from ‘The Big Bang Theory’ TV comedy, I don’t think it sounds outdated at all.
Miley and Penny. Too cute!
I had a similar problem with my second son. I had no trouble whatsoever naming my first son because I had two honor names I wanted to use. I didn’t even have to think too hard about whether I even liked his name. With my second son, I really had to think about what I would like in a name, and as a result his name was much more difficult, but also oddly an honor to my family’s personality. I love my first son’s name because it reminds me of the people who I loved, and I love my second son’s name because it reminds me how much I love my family.
Long story long (sorry) choose a name you and your husband really love, even if it doesn’t fit with Miley or honor anyone. Then you have two different kinds of honor names.
Love the suggestion of Leah as they are letters both Ashley and Michael have in common.
Other than that I was going to suggest using the “-cal” ending of Michael to make
Calissa
Calista
Caliope
None of which really have much of a link to Ashley. If you dropped the L you could have
Cassidy
Cassandra
Or, as everybody else has said, go with a name that is special in another way. Place names etc.
Good luck
ALYSSA and ALICIA also use only letters from Ashley and Michael as well.
I think that it will be special to have a name for your second daughter with a story. But like others have said it doesn’t necessarrily have to be the same story as your first daughter. I like the idea of using grandmas names but really it can be whoever you feel a special connection to or like name. Ok using older generations. I always pour over the family tree going back as far as I can looking at my ancestors names. I also noticed that both grandmas both have double n’s on their name. So you could pick a name with double n’s to honour both grandmas at the same time. Also I loved the suggestion Penelope Constance. Miley and poppy.
What about naming your second daughter after her grandmas? I always think that’s a lovely tribute and a good connection for her to have with her grandparents.
Since their names both end in -ny/ -nie, what about a name that incorporates that sound?
-Annie (Miley and Annie)
-Janey (Miley and Janey)
-Ginny (Miley and Ginny)