Dear Swistle,
I’m hoping you can help be get an unbiased opinion on some naming issues we are having.
We are expecting our second child in March and do not know the gender. Our son is Deacon and IF this baby is a boy, his name will be Charlie. We don’t love Charles, & I’m okay with a “nickname” as a first name (my full name is Nicki and it never bothered me) so I think we’ll leave it at that, plus I don’t really think Charles goes as well with Deacon.
Anyway, it’s the girl name we are soooo stuck on. We have a long list of “okay” choices, and a few that I like and a few that my husband likes. But nothing we agree on and definitely nothing that stands out to us as a strong candidate or even “the” name! Which is hard because I am so set on Charlie, I want to feel something for a girls name.
Right now my top name is Mercy, if I could name her myself, it would be done. But my husband isn’t fond of it. Other names I’ve suggested are: Blaire, Olive, Georgia, Tae (which I’m not sure sounds okay with our one-syllable last name) and Maren.
My husband loves Daisy (the name we were going to use if our first child would have been a girl) but I don’t want my kids to have the same letter, people would think we were going for a Duggar theme. My husband says that doesn’t matter, because we will have more kids but I think it would bother me until we did. Is that silly? To further compound this aversion is that our last name starts with a “D”. So adding Daisy just feels singsongy.
My husband also likes Nora (which I think is too popular) and Caroline (which is pretty but it’s how my Mother spells her name, but hers has always been pronounced Carolyn. Which I feel would cause a lot of confusion with any family/friends who know my Mom.)
For a middle name, I’ve thought about using mine (Tyler, which was my grandmothers maiden name). I’m not totally set on it, but a girl name that goes well with Tyler as a middle would be a plus. We feel strongly that middle names should honor family members or someone influential in either of our lives. The short list of middle names is Tyler & Lou.
So if you could help, I would really appreciate some insight. My goal is to find a name that is timeless, classic and feminine yet not overused and not a name that falls into the old-fashioned turned trendy category.
Thanks so much,
Nicki Dunn
I think the first thing I’d do if we were having this consultation over coffee is to find out what the various words mean to you, because usage varies so much: timeless, classic, trendy, overused, old-fashioned, feminine. I’d want to ask you a lot of questions to see if I could narrow in on the definitions: i.e., at what point for you does “in style” turn into “trendy”? Are Henry and Molly old-fashioned-turned-trendy, or are they classic/timeless? Are Harriet and Margaret feminine? Are Lydia/Audrey/Grace/Emily overused? And so on.
The name Deacon, for example, is modern in usage, and occupation/surname names are currently in style. I wouldn’t consider Charlie trendy per se (though it’s definitely enjoying one of its many returns to stylishness), but if someone specified “not old-fashioned turned trendy,” I’d be hesitant to suggest it in case that’s what they meant. Tae and Maren don’t seem to fall into the timeless or classic categories. Olive and Georgia and Nora seem like old-fashioned names that have come back into style, and I wouldn’t necessarily have used the word feminine to describe either Olive or Georgia, despite them being clearly/exclusively female names.
It is a bit of a challenge to find a name that is timeless/classic but not overused or old-fashioned-turned-trendy, because “overused” and “old-fashioned turned trendy” are perhaps the main two issues of timeless/classic names. One of the markers of a timeless/classic name (especially the classic ones) is that it keeps coming back into style; and sometimes when people use the word “trendy,” they mean “in style” or “just came back into style”; this can be avoided by using names that are OUT of style, such as Beverly and Bernice, but there’s always the danger that those are the next ones to come back in. Classic names typically go through cycles: first they’re in style, then they’re Parent Names, then they’re Grandparent Names, and then they’re Great-Grandparent Names and start to sound fresh and interesting again. The names Henry and Lucy are good examples: they go in and out, but they keep coming back, and right now they’re back. I don’t consider them trendy (their long usage keeps them safe from that, in my view), but if someone specifies “not old-fashioned turned trendy,” I’d wonder Henry/Lucy was exactly the sort of name they meant. “Vintage revival” would be another way to put it. The more popular ones in this category can find themselves called “trendy”; the less popular ones can find themselves called “hipster.” Often the names are FIRST called hipster, while they’re still unusual/edgy (I remember the startle factor of the first baby Lucy I encountered, more than 20 years ago), THEN called trendy as they come into more common usage.
Other timeless/classic names (especially the timeless ones) don’t go in and out like that, in which case they’re usually considered overused. John and Elizabeth are good examples of this: decade after decade they’re right up near the top of the popularity charts, timeless/classic, never trendy, but if someone says “not overused,” I’d be hesitant to suggest them. Their continued popularity decade after decade after decade can make the market feel saturated, and/or can make the names so familiar the eye skips right over them.
If your husband isn’t fond of the name Mercy, and he loves Daisy but the D initial is an issue for a couple of reasons, I wonder if you would like Maisy. If you want timeless and classic and not trendy, I think I’d start with Margaret and use Maisy as the nickname; Daisy is also a nickname for Margaret, so you could use it without the same D-initial problems.
If what you like about the name Mercy is the sound, I wonder if you’d like Darcy. It has the same D-initial issues as Daisy, however.
Or Mercedes, which means mercy or mercies (Oxford Dictionary of First Names; Baby Names Made Easy) and could be used with the nicknames Mercy or Sadie.
Lacey is another option. Lacey Dunn; Deacon and Lacey.
Or Lucy, but I suspect that’s too popular for your tastes, and may also be old-fashioned-turned-trendy.
Meredith doesn’t sound similar, but the visual similarity caught my eye and it feels like a very nice fit for your preferences. Merry is a cute nickname for it.
If what you like about the name Mercy is the virtue-name element, I wonder if you’d like Verity. I do start to feel a religious theme happening with either Deacon/Mercy or Deacon/Verity, but that may be a positive.
Felicity is another option. I also like Hope and Joy and Grace, but Grace is probably too popular for your tastes and forms Grace Ton or Gray Stun with your surname; and all three may turn your surname into Done.
Or Constance? I know a Constance who goes by Consie. Constance Dunn; Deacon and Constance.
Clementine means merciful (Baby Names Made Easy). Clementine Dunn; Deacon and Clementine. One of the issues people mention with the name Clementine is the difficulty of finding a good nickname; I would be interested in seeing if Minnie would stick.
Claudia comes to mind. Claudia Dunn; Deacon and Claudia.
Or Harriet. Harriet Dunn; Hattie Dunn; Deacon and Harriet.
Josephine Dunn; Josie Dunn; Deacon and Josephine.
Molly Dunn; Deacon and Molly.
Cordelia Dunn; Delia Dunn; Deacon and Cordelia.
Lydia Dunn; Deacon and Lydia.
Louisa Dunn; Deacon and Louisa.
I agree with you about not using a name starting with D, particularly when it’s a one syllable last name. For whatever reason, I think alliteration like that is softened when the last name has more than one syllable.
I hesitate to use a name like Mercy for a child, because it seems so Madonna-esque and loaded with meaning, but I’m not a fan of virtue names in any way. I think Maisie would be a fantastic compromise between your love of Mercy and your husband’s love of Daisy.
Swistle’s suggestion of Felicity jumped out at me and had me saying, “YES!” Based on what you wrote, I think that meets everything you’re asking for. Cordelia is another fantastic option as well.
Best of luck!
I wonder if you’re attached to Charlie being a son’s name, because you could go with Charlotte, nn Charlie for a little girl. Deacon and Charlotte sounds like a great sibset to me, but I don’t know if Charlotte is one of those too popular/trendy names in your part of the world. For someone who lives close to Charlotte, NC, it’s not so popular here (for obvious reasons!)
I love the combo of Margaret nn Daisy – it could solve the shared initial issue and would give your girl a “more grown up” name option, if she wants one when she becomes a Supreme Court Justice or the like =)
Virtue names can be really cool and I think Mercy is one that isn’t heavily used, but I wonder how it works with your last name… Dunn becomes “done” in my head, weird as that sounds. That could translate to done as in complete or done as in over? I could be overthinking on that one.
Too bad that Nora is too popular where you are! It definitely fits the classic, not overused/trendy criteria around here and it sounds great with your last name! Molly and Lucy kinda match up in that nickname that works as a first name way.
For some reason when I think of Nora, Helena and Elena come up for me. Wonder if either of those would appeal?
I wonder if you’d like Hazel? It’s vintage, but not completely back to trendy status around here. Or Eloise, nn Lou? That’d get in one of your honor names and it sounds great with Tyler, if you don’t want to save the other honor name for a future kiddo! Louisa could do that for you too
Eloise Tyler Dunn, Deacon and Eloise, Deacon and Lou? or
Louisa Tyler Dunn, Deacon and Louisa, Deacon and Lou
Or what do you think of Imogen? Could have the nn Immy or Genny
Imogen Tyler Dunn, Deacon and Imogen, Deacon and Genny
Good luck! Can’t wait to find out what you choose =)
My first thought was: but you could use Charlie for a girl too! I know a Charlotte who goes by Charlie. Charlene is another option, although I think Charlie by itself is perfectly fine as the full name. Let us know what you decide!
Nora made me think of Eleanor or Eleanora which would also be a cute option that fits your style and is not quite as popular. The virtue names also made me think of Honor – I have a friend with this name and it grows on you! What if you lengthened the middle name option Lou to Louisa? You could have her full name be Eleanor Louisa Dunn or Nora Lou for short? I think that’s adorable. Or Evelyn? Evelyn Tyler Dunn or Eve/Evie for a nickname. Good luck!
If you like Caroline and Nora, what about Cora?
It has that classic, timeless, not overused feel to it, sounds great with Deacon, and your surname. Deacon and Cora! Cora Lou Dunn is sweet!
Mercy and Maisie remind me of Myra and Marnie. Both underused old-fashioned names too.
All the best!
I also thought of Hazel. Good luck!
With Caroline and Nora on your husbands list, Cora occurred to me as well. I think I prefer Cora Tyler over Cora Lou though. Also instead of Daisy, would your husband consider other flower options don’t share the “D” inital like Iris, Rose (I love Rosalie with nn Rose), Poppy, Zinnia, Ivy, or Linnea.
Noticing Georgia on your list, it made me think of Charlie as a possibility for a girl. If you have your heart set on it for a future boy though, maybe you should avoid that.
Since you like Tae (which I agree doesn’t go with your last name), would you consider Taylor with Tae as a nickname (obviously you would have to use Lou rather than Tyler as the middle name).
Olive seems awfully close to Olivia to me which is very popular. I am not sure what you like about the name but maybe maybe Opal would capture.
Since you like Blaire, what about Blythe?
Mercy reminded me of Marcellene or Marcelle, nn Marcy. Marcellene Tyler Dunn; Deacon and Marcy. Good luck!
I like the idea of Rosie as something that’s similar to Daisy but eliminates your alliteration problems. I’m not opposed to alliteration on general principle, but would probably want more than two letters separating my daughter’s name from Daisy Duck (and Daisy Duke). Rosie could be the full name, or it could be short for Rosemary which incorporates some of the sounds of Mercy too.
I also just really love Mercy though, and hope you can convince your husband. Or there’s also Marcy, if it would help your husband to not have the virtue name aspect. Or Marcia. Or Martha. Or if you are willing to go off in a completely different direction, Emerson with the nickname Mercy. I also like Myra as an alternative.
I agree that two different pronunciations of Caroline in one family is probably a bad idea. Would Coraline maybe work?
Or you could use Carolina to be sure that people remember the long i….
I like Clementine for you from Swistle’s suggestions and like a couple other people I also thought immediately of Hazel. Or how about Alice, Beatrice, or Josephine? I think of those as classic and feminine. And of course, Beatrice always makes me think of Ramona. I wouldn’t use both in the same family but I’d use either of them. Ramona is due for a revival, I think.
Ramona makes me think of Rowena. I once met a Rowena who went by “Rena” (prononced reena), and have always thought it was so pretty! Rowena Dunn. Deacon and Rena.
Maybe Josie? It seems like with both your husband and your first choice’s being two syllable names that end with -cy or -sy, that that’s likely a category that you could find something that works for you in.
Is Ava too popular? Or how about Carmen?
Can I suggest Tabitha. ..my daughter’s name? Pretty unusual and I love a three syllable first name with a short surname…you seem to like T names as well!
I think Clementine is darling. You could use Clemmie as a nickname if so inclined. And it was Winston Churchill’s wife’s name. :)
My husband and I do not have children yet, but Deacon is currently the front runner for a son and Georgia is our top pick for a daughter. Other girls names on my list are Margot, Hazel, Marie, and Rose.
When I was reading your letter, the name Lydia popped into my head, so I’m glad that Swistle suggested it. If you do like the religious element to the name (which is flimsy at best) then I think you could go just a bit crazy with the purple!
I also wonder if you’d like the name Sylvie or Sylvia (ranked #559).
My other suggestion would be Selah. According to Baby Name Wizard, “The Hebrew word selah appears throughout the Book of Psalms. Its precise meaning is mysterious, but it is interpreted as a pause to breathe and reflect on the important words just uttered.” Deacon and Selah seem like a great sibling pair. Selah is ranked 773, a nice popularity parity with Deacon (642).
I only have a moment to reply right now– but I wanted to say I think one syllable last names often work great with one syllable firsts… Think of the number of famous people with that combo: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Kate Moss, Kate Spade, Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, Will Smith, Tom Cruise, Bill Gates… It can be a really solid and memorable combination, and Grace Dunn doesn’t run together to me. I do think Tae Dunn is a little strange-sounding and incomplete. Blair is fine though– why the extra ‘e’ at the end? I think Blair is feminine enough on its own not to need it.
Other one syllable possibilities:
Faith
Kate
Blake
Blaine
Blaise
Blythe
May
I wonder if you would like Nancy? I know a young Nancy, who is a feisty firecracker, and it’s made me see the name in an entirely knew light. Nancy Tyler Dunn sounds great!
Lots of good ideas. I second (third?) Margot and Sylvia/Sylvie. I also think Maren and Georgia are wonderful. Others:
Marina, nickname Marnie
Nina
My aunt Constance went by Tansy – just another nn suggestion for that name since Swistle mentioned it!
Clementine and Constance are both lovely suggestions.
I have seen Clementine with the nickname Minty before, which I think is adorable!
What about Cadence nickname Cadie or Caddie? Cute!
I like Margaret nn Maisy or Daisy
What about Posy? Poppy? Pippi? Rose, Rosie, Rosa, Rosalyn/Rosaline? Violet? Ivy?
I would personally stay away from Mercy Dunn, sounds too much like a statement. Mercy and Deacon sound highly religious as a sibset, (which is fine if thats your intention). I like Lacey, or Laurel, or Lanie. Liberty is another favorite, but as with Mercy, it causes issues with the last name. What about Mila?
A few that I’d suggest: Matilda, Ramona, Marina, Lorelei, Coral, Amber. But I also love the suggestion of Maisie!
Oh, and Jemima! I love that one!
The first name that came to mind was June. I know that it is a one-syllable name, which maybe you don’t care for the flow as much with your last name, but for whatever reason, I keep going back to. June Tyler Dunn. I like it. I like it a lot.
I love Swistle’s suggestion of Clementine. Clementine makes me think of Magnolia. Timeless, definitely not over-used, and feminine. I wouldn’t say that it’s old-fashioned yet becoming trendy…. It could work. It has a ton of great nickname potentials. Maggie, Mia, Nola. Perhaps your husband would like it, as Nola is so similar to Nora. I particularly like Maggie Dunn.
What about Veronica? I recently heard it on a new babe, and it sounded surprisingly fresh. Definitely not common. Vera, Rooney, Nica…. some good nn.
Other names I really like:
Fiona
Blythe
Rosalie
Isadora. Isadora Dunn. Love the flow of this.
Willa
Good Luck and keep us posted!
Would you consider using Millicent, nn’d Millie? Millicent Tyler Dunn, Deacon & Millie.
What about Lexie Dunn?
Megan
Marcy
Amity
Kiersten
Lucy Tyler Dunn!!!
Do you like Pearl? Pearl Tyler Dunn. Deacon and Pearl. Both COULD be religious (parable of the pearl in the field, deacon in the church), but they both feel vintage and gracious.
I like Charlie. I like it a LOT. Have you checked the popularity in your area? It’s been climbing heartily in some places…but that’s only an issue if popularity is a big deal to you.
Otherwise, Deacon and Zeke might work together. Or maybe Roy? There’s also Rhet. And, maybe, Maverick.
Your style seems to be (and I’m most likely wrong) refined rancher. The sort of name that one wears if they put in a full day, care for their holdings, and can sit down to a civilized dinner.
Best wishes to you as you welcome your next child!
I’d like to second Vera and Alice. I also love Marietta for you guys. It seems like a nice blend between your Mercy / Maren and your husband’s general style.
Since you have both been tossing around the name Caroline, I wanted to suggest this idea. Certainly Katherine is way more popular than you’d like, but the nickname Kit seems to be a nice stylistic compromise between you and your husband. I’m wondering if some name like this would work for you guys:
– Katherine / Kit
– Beatrix / Bix
– Lucille / Lou
Also, if you decide to reconsider Charlie, I think that these names go well with Deacon:
– Roland
– Thaddeus (my husband likes this for you)
– Joel
My favorites for you are Lydia Lou and Marietta Tyler. Good luck!
How about Susanna? Classic, but rarely used – only ~150 in the US last year!
I also love Sally with your last name, and with Deacon!
Hallie
Lucy
Jayda
Corina
If you like Charlie, but not the full name Charles, what about Charlton? It has that surname feel like Deacon and they actually sound quite good together.
Deacon and Charlton
I really like Daisy but I can see where you’re coming from with the whole “Duggar” thing. Daisy made me think of Izzy for some reason. Isabel/Isabelle nn Izzy. Deacon and Isabel. Carrie would be great too.
The name Blaire from your suggestions made me think of Adair/Adaire, which is a lovely name, especially with the cute nn Addie.
Lydia also sounds great with Deacon and your surname. What about Juniper nn June/Junie/Juno?
So many great options to choose from!
Good luck!
OK – One last suggestion from me. How about Amity?