Hello!
I am due in early February and we do not know the gender of the baby. We feel pretty good about our choice for a girl’s name – but a boy’s name is eluding us! Our last name is pronounced Molly-ache-elle.
We have a 2 year old son named George Lindsey – who we solely refer to as ‘Gil’ – Gil’s name was a tensely negotiated settlement last time around that didn’t get solved until we were about to leave the hospital. ‘George’ is a family name on my husband’s side (and my father in law’s name) that I did not feel a real kinship to and Lindsey is actually MY name. My husband loved being able to honor his father and a connection to me and advocated for that name from the very beginning. I agreed on the condition that we would exclusively call him ‘Gil’ from birth on (I love Anne of Green Gables and Gilbert Blythe). This has worked out well for us so far but would love to avoid the same kind of negotiated settlement with our second kid.
There is still a strong tradition of naming on my husband’s side of the family (they are very catholic and also from India) that means he would like it to be one of the following:
Jacob
Thomas
Anthony
Peter
Joseph (also my husband’s name)
Of those names, the only one I like is ‘Jacob’ – but am unwilling to go in that direction because of how popular it has been over the last 5 years or so and how many awesome kids I already know named Jacob. My husband says he would also be amenable to another name from the bible…I love names that my husband says sounds like little British, white boys (we are a mixed race couple) and is therefore uncomfortable with:
Simon
Samuel
Spencer
Oliver (though feels trendy now)
Malcolm
LewisWe considered ‘Zeke’ for awhile (full first name: Ezekiel) but it just didn’t sound quite right with our last name.
So here we are….with a somewhat unique last name and a stalemate on first names. I am not worried about middle names because we will either go with my husband’s name ‘Joseph’ or my grandmother’s maiden name ‘Akslen’ depending on what flows better.
Any suggestions for names that sound ok with the last name ‘Molly-ache-elle’, and goes well with the sibling name ‘Gil’ – but doesn’t remind my husband of little British babies? Bonus points if it has a Catholic connection!
Thanks for any help you can offer!
I can see how a person might associate Oliver, Simon, and Spencer with little British white boys; I don’t have that association myself, but I can at least see how someone might. But Malcolm? MALCOLM? As in X?
Malcolm would in fact be my favorite from your list. It goes well with George/Gil in popularity and style. But with your surname, it seems like a lot of M and L and C: Malcolm Molly-ache-elle.
My second choice is Samuel. Boy, that REALLY doesn’t sound like a British white boy to me (the first Samuel who comes to my mind is Samuel L. Jackson), and it’s traditional and biblical. I’d wonder if it were too much L with your surname, but if Gil works with it, I’d think Samuel would too.
For a name to go with George/Gil and satisfy traditional/Catholic naming inclinations, I think I’d look on a list of saint names rather than on a list of biblical ones. Gil and Thomas, Gil and Jacob—those aren’t style clashes, but they don’t quite click into place either: one boy has a distinctive, interesting, uncommon name, and the other has a name we’re all thoroughly familiar with. I think I’d go for something more like Gil and Felix, or Gil and Quentin, or Gil and Leo, or Gil and Finian, or Gil and Edmund, or Gil and Silas.
I know you’d prefer to avoid it, but it may be that the sort of solution you came up with for your first child’s name is exactly the right way to handle this child’s name as well: your husband gets his preference for a traditional and honor name, and then you bring it more toward your tastes by choosing a non-traditional nickname. Joseph Akslen, for example, with a nickname such as Joel or Jax or Joss or Jonty or Jep. I especially like Joss: George and Joseph, Gil and Joss.
Or since your first son is named for your husband’s father, perhaps a second son could be named for one of the men on your side of the family?
Ezekiel makes me think of Ezra, which you might like better with your surname. I like it with Gil, too.
Name update!
Our new addition arrive Friday morning and we named him Malcolm Joseph.
Thanks to everyone for their comments and suggestions! It was great to hear people’s opinions and it spurred some great conversations for us.
You like Simon, he likes Peter and Catholic, my first thought was Simon Peter. While Simon on it’s own sounds a little prep school, Simon Peter sounds distinctly traditional to me.
Have you considered John, actually? Timeless traditional, surprisingly uncommon on a little boy, great nicknames. I esp like John Joseph nn Ian. Ian and Gil. John and George. I was really excited about Lucas but then I realized George rules that one out for you. Oops.
Leonard (Leo)
Tobias, Tobin (Toby)
Jerome (Jer, Romy)
Micah
I agree Malcom is great. Also, Peter isn’t very popular at all among little boys – in the 200s in the U.S. It could be a good fit with Gil, and Pete is not longer a default nickname. I also think that scanning YOUR family tree could provide some interesting choices.
Would your DH “settle” for a papal name? They might be more to your taste. There are some goodies there, my personal favorites being:
Urban
Clement (a little boy nicknamed Clem… so cute!)
Linus
And some of my other favorite saints who probably weren’t “white boys”:
Lazarus
Jude
Peregrine
Maron
Sharbel
Pepin
Abraham
Moses
And if you like Simon, push for it! My son Simon is named after Simon of Cyrene, who was North African.
What about Isaac, john, or Isaiah? I know Indian Catholics with all of these names.
The Catholic names not already mentioned that immediately come to mind are
Mark
Paul
Andrew
James
Matthew
Timothy
With your last name, I like Matthew Joseph (Gil and Matt) and James Akslen (Gil and Jem).
I also meant to say I really like Andrew Joseph as well .. Gil and Drew.
What about Simeon? It’s Biblical. Very similar to Simon. And while I can’t really tell why he feels that some of those names are British boys and others aren’t, Simeon doesn’t sound British to me at all.
I always like the name Simeon both in look and in source, but I always pronounce it simian, and that has chucked it out for me.
Christopher nickname Kit? Kit and Gil!
Urban, Leo and Linus are all spectacular! I’m really warming to John, too. John Jacob or John Joseph would be lovely. I also think that a name that honors your side of the family, with one of your hisband’s favorites as a middle name, would have great symmetry with your son’s name.
How about Abraham? Abraham Verghese is a notable Indian-American author and surgeon: http://www.amazon.com/Cutting-Stone-Abraham-Verghese/dp/0375714367
And Abe is a cute nickname. Or Bram.
Or, if you’re Roman Catholic, why not Francis? It’s appropriate for the time.
I also thought of Neil, which is nicely cross-cultural.
Or Nicholas– St. Nicholas was a Bishop from what is now Turkey.
Or Paul?
Please do update us, I’d love the hear what you end up picking!
I think the Neil suggestion is a good one. And if you wanted to make a Catholic connection, you could always go with Cornelius like the saint and use Neil as a nickname.
What about Abel, Elias, or Vincent? All have a biblical or saint connection, and seem to me like they work for a range of ethnic backgrounds.
I know a little 8 yo Gilly (Gilbert), and he has two brothers, Mac and John.
Also…
Benedict (Ben, Ned)
Ignatius (Nate, Nat)
Edward (Ned, Teddy)
Timothy (Timo)
Ignatius!
Oh, another one I forgot– though it’d be repeating Gil’s initial– is Gregory. I know that one is used by some Indian Christians. Gregory Jacob has a good ring to it.
If you like the sound of Jacob but it’s too popular, how about Caleb? I also thought Ezra was a good suggestion. Or how about Louis instead of Lewis? It calls Louis Armstrong to mind and so seems a little less Anglo.
1) George is the most British name in existence. Its impossible to even argue with that fact. It’s the name of the patron saint AND the royal baby. So your husbands objections are a little nonsensical, but that’s ok, nice people sometimes have nonsensical opinions about names.
2) I think your best bet might be to go very very Catholic to find something that’s not more mainstream than you would like and doesn’t trip your husband’s British alarms. As in Francis or Benedict. Or find out which Saint’s Day each of your husband’s grandparents were born on. Or here’s a Nameberry list of former popes whose names work well as baby names: http://nameberry.com/blog/papal-baby-names-popes-names-beyond-peter-and-paul. Clement or Linus seem like they might fit your style?
Here are a few suggestions (apologies for any repeats!)
August/Augustus (Gil & Gus!)
Felix
Gabriel (Gil & Gabe)
Roderick (Gil & Rod/Rick)
Theodore (Gil & Ted)
Thomas (such a classic name and I think it pairs nicely with George)
Good luck! Please send update!!
Oh yes Gabriel would be perfect!
I am going to name our next baby, if it’s a boy, Ephraim. St. Efrem is a Doctor of the Church, poet, hermit, I think… but I prefer the longer spelling. Have fun!
Cyprian? Cyp is cute.
I can understand that someone from India would shy away from British sounding names. But none of the names on your husbands list are traditionally Indian. Biblical names (and The Catholic faith) are direct results of British colonialism. I think more discussion about why he doesn’t like “English” names is in order. I suspect what he means might be more that your names sound soft to him. That was the real reason my husband didn’t like names that he described as “English”
I like the suggest of Papal names. Something like Ambrose or Clement could work for both of you. Less common Biblical could also work. Abram, Solomon, etc.
I also think the kind of compromise you came up with for Gil is the best solution for you. Only I think maybe you could switch it up a bit. Let him have a bit more say in the nickname while you get to pick the given name.
Of the names on your list, I agree Malcolm works well. I wonder if your husband thinks it sounds too Scottish? Reminding him of Malcolm X could help. Samuel/Sam is also not a “white boy” name. I’ve known several African American men named Sam/Samuel. A less common twist would be Samson. Since its less common maybe it would feel more Biblical to your husband?
No disrespect meant, but what you’re saying is not quite true. There has been a community of Catholics in India since the 1st Century AD (!!!)– they’re considered Syro-Malabar Catholics but are aligned with the Roman Catholic Church and members of the Church have been canonized by Roman Catholic popes, etc. According to their history, St. Thomas the Apostle landed in Kerala around 50 AD and began establishing a church. There has been a Christian community in the region ever since. Way longer than nearly anywhere in Europe! And yes, they use Biblical names with slightly different sounds/transliterations into English (like Thoma instead of Thomas, George is usually Verghese, Matthew is Mathew. But Joseph is the same and so are many others.
You can read more here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Syro-Malabar_Catholic_Church
So, I don’t mean to be disrespectful, just correcting your facts on when Catholicism arrived in India and how. I’m guessing the writer’s husband is Syro-Malabar Catholic (especially because of the use of George which is such a common name among them). It’s not connected to colonialism nor the British. (Actually he Portuguese were the first Europeans in the area). The husband is not being irrational, and I can understand why he’d want to avoid names like Edward, Malcolm, Oliver, or Lewis that are 100% Anglo-Saxon or Germanic, and not Biblical.
I love that your husband rejects the names you love for “sounding like British white boys” when he’s a Catholic Indian named Joseph with a son named George. I agree with a previous commenter who suggested talking to him more about that…
See my above comment; he’s not irrational. He’s probably Syro-Malabar Catholic, which predates the British in India by 1500 years and uses names like George and Thomas and Joseph regularly. The church was started by St. Thomas the Apostle who arrived in India around 50 AD…
I was also going to suggest Ezra, which I think goes nicely with Gil.
How about Asher? Or Luke?
Thanks to everyone for your suggestions and ideas! Keep them coming!
Special thank you to Kaela who gives quite a bit of back story on the syro-malabar Catholics in S India that I did not mention in my original post! My husbands family is indeed syro-malabar and Gil is actually named after my father in law who’s official name IS Varghese – the indian version of George (though he solely goes by George at this point).
My husband (who would like me to mention to you all that he is very handsome and also quite charming :-) and I are loving reading the suggestions.
Many of you mentioned ‘John’ – which is coincidentally MY fathers name – but feels plain to me (and there is already a cousin named John to honor my dad).
Keep them coming! And thanks again to Kaela for explaining much more eloquently about catholic indian naming history than I could have…
I’m so glad I could be helpful, Lindsey! I wish you lots of luck on coming to an agreement with your husband. :) I love your first son’s name and I’m sure you will find a compromise for this one if it is a boy. My personal favorite is Abraham, or maybe, from your husband’s list, Joseph with an uncommon nickname like Joss or Jody.
I also just noticed no one has suggested Adam, Aaron, David, or Benjamin, all really solid choices (if somewhat common). They don’t seem 100% right with Gil (since Gil is so uncommon) but perhaps you can make some interesting nicknames out of them.
Good luck!
How about John with a common or uncommon nickname? It will parallel “George,” two boys with their grandfather’s names.
You could do Jack, Jay, J.J., Johnny, Joss, Jem, etc.
I come from a close extended family with a ton of Johns of all ages. It seems to work!
Charbel is an interesting suggestion. What do others think of it?
I advocated heavily for Malcolm when I was pregnant with my mixed race son. Malcolm like Malcolm X! Malcolm like MacBeth!
I also got my son’s father on board with Keiran, which is Irish Gaelic for ‘dark skinned’. Perfect mixed baby name!
My association with Samuel is not ‘white’.
I’m not sure the race of your husband, but I’ve found that I can find a person of color with virtually every name of biblical or european descent, which I use to bolster my case. My son is named Gabriel, but i had to point out SEVERAL brown Gabriels during a day of watching football (there were literally three on one college team that particular day) to convince his dad that it wasn’t a ‘white’ name.
My favourite so far is Andrew , Drew & gill
Also Gabriel, Gabe and Gill.
Nicolas, Nic and Gill
Joseph, Jax and Gill
I like the idea of having a name that goes well with George and has a short nickname that he also goes by. I would also encourage you to keep the middle name after your family to keep it similar to your first son.
How about Cyrus?
The race associated with names makes me giggle, but I understand how frustrating this can be. We are a white family and I love the name Isaac for a son. This name was immediately off of the table for my husband because “We are not black, so no.” I know way more Jews named Isaac than black Isaacs. There were several back and forths about this to no avail.
I also like Gideon, if you are comfortable with two G names.
oh, just read the entire thread and saw Kaela’s comments. I also like the name Abraham, especially with the nickname Bram.
Damian (famous saint who ministered to the Hawaiian natives suffering from leprosy) has lots of nickname potential: Dan, Dane, Damie, Ian (isn’t Ian a version of John? Two birds, one stone.). Or the -ien spelling gives you the option of Enzo, which is cute.
Melchizedek is surprising, possibly too much with your last name, but the Biblical significance is hard to top. I know one who goes by the manageable Mel, and another who uses Melchi. Zeke could be a nn option, or Deke, Zed, or even Ike.
Anthony, nn Anton? Anthony of the Desert was an amazing hermit/saint. Some names of his hermetic contemporaries in Persia/ Egypt/Arabia were Isidore, Anastasius, Moses, Theodore, Lot, and Poeman, most of which are probably too out there with George, but might spark something!
Or Philip? Nn Pip, Pippo, Perry.
The first thought I had was Ben — I went to school with an Indian Catholic named Ben (Benjamin), and I love it with Gil. Gil and Ben — they have the same feel to me, kind of friendly and approachable. I don’t think I love Benjamin as the full name though (even though I do love the name Benjamin) — I don’t think George and Benjamin are the best match. But George and Benedict strike me as very similar in feel — mature and sophisticated — and Benedict’s got that strong Catholic connection. Benedict Joseph would get my vote, very handsome.
Secondly, I was thinking about how you like Samuel, and I like Sam as a brother to Gil — Gil and Sam have the same feel to me as Gil and Ben. But I wondered if Ambrose nn Sam might be more appealing to your husband? George and Ambrose also strike me as well matched, and I’ve long thought Sam could be a good nn for it. Actually, I’ve often thought that Bram could be a nn for Ambrose as well, so Ambrose nn Sam would get my second vote (after Benedict) and Ambrose nn Bram would get my third.
Please keep us updated!
Oh gosh, I also love the suggestion of Damien. I think Denny would be a smashing nn for it!
What about Coby which is a diminutive of Jacob or Jacoby/Jacobi ?
Jacoby is most likely the transferred use of a patronymic Jewish surname derived from the Hebrew personal name “Yaakov” which was eventually Latinized to Jacob. The original Hebrew name is derived from the word “akev” which literally translates to “at the heel”. (That info is from ohbabynames.com)