Hi Swistle,
I have been reading your blog the past couple months since a friend suggested it to me. I found it very interesting and different from many baby name blogs I checked out. So here is my dilemma. We are expecting our fourth next week! December 10th and still can’t seem to settle on a name. Our children’s names are Matthew Christopher, Holly Evelyn-Rose, Lilah Anneliese with the last name Cox. We are having a girl. The problem is my husband likes to pick almost all 80’s names. He especially likes my names Kristen (which is my middle name) or he would even name her Heather which is my first. I definitely prefer not to have Heather in her name. Kristen I am ok with but not sure I love. His other picks are Jessica, Amy and Rachelle. He has mentioned liking Sophia, Gabriella and flower names like Lily and at one time Daisy and Violet (I think Violet was too out there for him). He used to like Dahlia (not sure what nicknames are associated with that name), but has since changed his mind. I don’t mind Dahlia and it also has the Ls and Hs the other girls have in their names (not that it has too). I don’t care for Lily (seems a very popular choice right now like Sophia). Last night he mentioned liking Grace. This is a name I previously asked him about and he said no. I can’t keep up with him. The only way we usually find something is having him come up with names and then me picking one of them out.
My preferred names are Tessa, Noelle (I like Noelle as a middle name) or Maisy. I like older classic names and newer names, but not a big 80’s fan.
This is our fourth and most likely final child…. So I really hope we can find a solution. Help!Thank you for your time,
Heather
I find it very pleasing that your husband likes my name, and so I will use a sweet voice as I steer him away from it. I like my name, too, but it is a Mom Name now—and one very tied to its time period. I would be enthusiastic about you and your daughter sharing a middle name, though, so I admit I’m hoping Kristen works with the chosen first name. Heather would also make a pretty middle name.
Lily and Violet both seem to me to be too close in sound to Lilah; Lily and Holly also have a similar sound, as do Dahlia and Lilah. Grace seems wonderful, if you’re still interested in it. Paul too did a complete turnaround on a name, vetoing it for the first child and picking it as his favorite for the second child. I didn’t even mention that to him, I just said “YES, great, it’s settled!” Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Grace.
Jessica and Tessa are so similar in sound, as are Amy and Maisy, as are Daisy and Maisy, as are Rachelle and Noelle, it gives me hope that we can find something you’ll both like.
If you wanted to continue with the L sounds, I think Noelle would be my first choice for a first name: Holly, Lilah, and Noelle. Each girl has two syllables and a strong L sound, but different beginnings and endings.
Or Jillian: Holly, Lilah, and Jillian.
Or Alice: Holly, Lilah, and Alice.
Or Claudia, if you don’t mind the alliteration. Holly, Lilah, and Claudia.
Or Elise: Holly, Lilah, and Elise.
Or Juliet: Holly, Lilah, and Juliet.
Or Lydia, if that doesn’t seem too close to Lilah: Holly, Lilah, and Lydia. That does start tangling up when I say it.
Because your husband likes some of the mom names, and because Holly and Tessa and Noelle are used now but were also used in my era, I’m inclined to look in the Baby Name Wizard‘s New Classics category. Names like Sabrina and Miranda are newer and older at the same time. Vanessa, too: that one reminds me of both Tessa and Jessica. Bridget isn’t in that category in the book, but I’d add it: I can picture a Bridget my age or my daughter’s age. Same with Marissa.
If Sophia is too popular, I wonder if you’d like Josephine or Fiona.
Or I wonder if you’d like Nora. Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Nora.
Or Phoebe? Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Phoebe.
Name update!
Hi Swistle,
I appreciate your help and your insight into our dilemma. I went into labor early and had the baby Dec 4th. We decided Teresa “Tessa” Kristen. She will go by Tessa. I found out that my husband didn’t mind the name Tessa but he couldn’t conceive of giving her a first name that he considers a nickname. So I looked up names that Tessa is derived from and we agreed upon Teresa (no H per his request). So it will now be Matthew, Holly, Lilah and Tessa. I really appreciate your time and input. I didn’t realize, until you pointed it out, that we liked many similar sounding names. I have also referred many of my friends to your blog :)
Thank you again,
Heather
I love Noelle for you! Similar sounds, unique initials, nod to the Christmas season. Maybe if you can’t get behind it as a first name or your husband isn’t on board, you could consider Natalie? Still a nod to the holiday season, repeating L sounds, unique initials and has that universal appeal that could be a Mom name or a little girl’s name.
Holly, Lilah and Natalie – only downside is that it’s an extra syllable, where Noelle keeps the same rhythm. Only a big deal if you want it to be!
It’s interesting that your girls seem to have a “doublename” as a middle. Maybe you can do that again with your third? Maybe Noelle Sophie-Grace?
I wonder if your husband would go for a twist on your name Heather and use Hadley? Apparently it comes from an Old English word for a field of heather. Maybe as a middle name so you don’t have the repeating initial with yourself and your Holly =)
Other botanical names you could consider – Ivy, Juniper or Laurel (but repeating L with Lilah), and since you’ve considered Violet (which I love), you could consider Hazel – these seem more like charming vintage Grandmother names that are making a comeback instead of the Mom crossovers like Natalie and Bridget.
Good luck! Can’t wait to see what you choose =)
I love your children’s names.
Here are some ideas:
– Charlotte / Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Charlotte
– Clara / Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Clara
– Vivian / Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Vivian
– Elsa / Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Elsa
– Fiona / Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Fiona
– Sylvia / Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Sylvia
– Camille / Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Camille
– Cecily / Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Cecily
Could you tell us more about which names you like? For some people, older classic names would mean names that have been steadily used over the entire last century (Elizabeth, Catherine, Grace), while others use classic the same way they’d talk about classic cars, so older names with a retro feel (Maisy, Hattie, Ruby). Newer names could mean any name that most parents weren’t considering a decade ago (Maisy again, Nora, Bryony, Aurora) or specifically names that are being widely used for the first time on this generation (Addison, Isla, Arya)
Based on what we do know, I think Claire, Laurel and Rosalie might be good additions to your list. And I really like the idea of Kristen or Heather as a middle name.
I don’t think there’s anything at all wrong with using Kristen as a middle name, but just wanted to point out that I could see Kristine or Kristina sounding better in the mn spot – Noelle Kristina Cox, for example, sounds better to me than Noelle Kristen Cox.
I could see Grace fitting in beautifully. Matthew, Holly, Lilah & Grace.
Other suggestions…
Matthew, Holly, Lilah & Sadie
Matthew, Holly, Lilah & Chelsea
Matthew, Holly, Lilah & Audrey
I really like the sound/flow/meaning of Grace Noelle (C)ox. Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Grace.
While I love Maisy, maybe your husband could get on board with it if you considered a more 80’s variation, Macy. Macy Noelle (C)ox is very pretty. Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Macy.
What about some Kris/Chris alternatives Kristen? Crystal Grace (C)ox has a nice flow and doesn’t screen 80s. If you wanted to you could spell it Krystal to make it more similar to Kristen though I like the C firt inital with your last name.
What about playing around with Amy a bit to make it less 80s? Amaya or May or Maya might work. May Kristen (C) ox. Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and May.
Although this may be from left field, I really do like Cora with you last name. Cora Noelle (C)ox or Cora Kristen (C)ox are great. Matthew, Holly, Lilah, and Cora.
I would personally steer clear of Noelle as a first name (love it for the middle), because I think it then makes Holly look Christmas-related (maybe it was meant that way?) and actually makes Lilah the odd man out. I love the sound of Maisy with the other girls as well as Alice.
I love the suggestion of Vanessa for you. I agree it seems old & new at the same time. Sabrina, Miranda, Veronica & Cassandra have also always struck me as old and new.
Personally, I wouldn’t use Noelle. The combination of Noelle & Holly strikes me as very Christmas-y, which would be fine by themselves, but it seems to leave Lilah looking a bit left out. Perhaps something with a more subtle Christmas connection would work? Stella, Scarlet, Angela (another old/new name) or for a more updated version, perhaps Angelina?
Lily is way too close to Lilah I think.
I do like the idea of using Kristen or Heather as a middle name. But I also notice that both your daughters technically have double middles. This makes me think perhaps you could double up on some middles & make your husband happy by using more than one of his names at the same time. Amy-Rae, Amy Sophia, Amy-Heather, Amy-Kris, etc.
The only other thought that comes to mind is the name Jessamine (can also be spelled Jassamyn) it’s a very old variant of Jasmine. It might appeal to him because it would still allow for Jess/Jessie as a nickname. But it’s vintage & different enough that maybe you’d like the full name?
I liked Swistle’s list of names with L sounds and I’d add Annabelle and Rosalind to it. I also like Fiona for you from her suggestions.
Annabelle Kristen
Fiona Noelle
Rosalind Kristen
Rosalind Noelle
Maybe a name that spans generations could appeal– Amelia (nn Amy?), Elizabeth, Margaret, something like that.
Elise sounds great!
Matthew, Holly, Lilah and Elise
Other suggestions:
Isabel
Chloe
Rachel
Alison
Stella
Scarlett
Abigail
Good luck!
I commented on a previous post about how names get mispronounced, etc but wanted to also say here – my daughter Lilah gets called Lily ALL THE TIME. That would rule it out as a sibling name imo.
What about Emily? Like Matthew, Emily peaked in the 80’s, too, yet both are still two of the best names out there–classic, complex, soft, strong–you name it. Also, the biblical names Rachel, Rebecca, Sarah or Susannah could also straddle a generational divide while pairing well with Matthew. Or Mary, which would be so fresh today. Plus Sarah could be nn’d Sadie, and Mary, Maisie.
I love your idea of Grace, and the suggestions of Clara, Alice, Alison, Nora, Claire, Rosalie and Natalie from others–all of these names sound current yet should sound familiar to your husband.
What about Lauren?
I love Grace for you. Grace Noelle is a lovely name!
Matthew, Holly, Lilah and Grace
If you husband likes Rachelle, maybe he would consider Rachel? I have a younger sister AND a grandmother named Rachel, so it is definitely a name that spans generations. Rachel Grace or Rachel Sophia. Rachel Noelle is nice too, if you don’t mind the ending “L” sound in both.
Matthew, Holly, Lilah and Rachel
Aw, I love it. Our oldest is Teresa, but we decided from the start that we would be calling her Tressa. Fast forward to when she was a very stubborn two year old and declared she would be going by Teresa. She was so good at correcting every one that called her Tressa that now, at five, she is only known by Teresa!