Hi Swistle!
I’m SO. EXCITED. to finally be sending you my own baby name question, after reading your blog for at least 7 years and your baby name blog since its inception.
Even more exciting? TWINS. They’re quite likely identical, so anything that makes their names too matchy or hard-to-keep-separate is out for us (not the same first letter, definitely not rhyming), but I’d love it if there’s some subtle connection.
We have two names that my husband and I both like, maybe love, and have had in mind for a good long time. It kind of surprises me that I latched onto something so quickly, so I’ve resisted closing the case. We’ll probably not decide for sure til we meet them.
Top contenders:
Eleanor nn either Ella or Nora
Beatrice nn Bea — okay with the alliteration, many in husband’s fam have names that start with B. He goes by Bo, so is it cute that her nickname (and full name with nickname) would be so much like his, or weird?Others that we love:
Madeleine — maybe too close to my name?
Everly nn Eve — maybe too Southern (though we are Southern, and do love the Everly Brothers, but maybe not enough to give them what appears to be a namesake?)
Louisa nn Lula / Lou
Adelaide or Adeline nn Delia / Ada
Olivia nn Ollie — out because someone else in the family has dibs!Another strong possibility is that we could call one of them Cole, which is my last name; I didn’t change my name when we got married. After some tense conversations, I’ve accepted that the girls’ last name will be the same as my husband’s, Bedingfie!d. (Aside: does ANYONE out there agree with me that giving one my surname and one my husband’s is even an option? I get horrified looks from most people, including my husband, when broaching this, but it’s the only FAIR thing, isn’t it? Won’t identical twins already have enough in common? I do grant that they could consider us to be crazy later on. No matter, pretty much vetoed. Don’t worry, folks who think I’m insane.)
But I’ve always thought Cole could be a very cute girls’ name. I like it when I give my name as Cole and get the impression the other person thinks it’s my first name and I’m all cool girl. But given how much more common it is as a boys’ name (3432 M, 13 F in 2013), I don’t feel like it’s okay to give it as a girl’s first name by itself. We looked at possibilities for names for which it could be a nickname (Colette is my fave, Nicole, maybe Colleen), but don’t love any of them. So maybe just Cole as a middle name to go by? But then should only one of them get my name as their middle? If one is going by it, it would be weird to give it as a middle for both, right? Maybe two middles, one first, one secondary? (Thanks for this post https://www.swistle.com/babynames/2014/08/01/baby-girl-l______-sister-to-daniel-danny-and-thomas-tommy/ on the logistics for your family with two middles!) We have a few family names we love that could get in the middle name game, primarily my husband’s grandmother, Lita, who’s an identical triplet, but also two great-aunts of mine, Ruth and Virginia.
May have more kids later… not sure I can think about it with a house remodel still not finished, and two (!!) newborns en route in the next few months. Due date is December 6, so we hope they’ll stay put at least til November. On the chance we do end up with a boy someday, some boys’ names we like: Milo, Emmett, Hugo, Oscar, Finn.
So — help with middles, any ideas that could trump our faves, any cute connections between names aside from general stylistic compatibility?
Thanks so much! Can’t wait to send pictures! I mean, I can wait, especially as long as we still have sheetrock dust in our house, but I’m very excited about the update to this post!
Cheers,
Marilyn
I think Eleanor and Beatrice are wonderful twin names, and it’s my favorite pairing from your list. I like the subtly matching -ea-. I think it’s cute and not weird to have a father Bo and daughter Bea. If you were to decide it was too similar, my second favorite set is almost a tie: Eleanor and Louisa, with Eleanor and Adelaide/Adeline right behind. The one thing that makes Eleanor and Adelaide/Adeline my second choice is that you’d prefer nicknames for Adelaide/Adeline that I think could be tough to implement, and she might end up Addy. I also like Louisa and Adeline—but again, it sinks lower on my list because of nickname issues.
Cole is dramatically different in style from the rest of your list, and it seems like trying to call one twin Cole immediately creates a tangle of issues. I think my top choice would be to use it as a middle name for both girls (and all subsequent children).
If you were strongly motivated to call one twin Cole, I would suggest this:
1. Beatrice, called Bea, would share ties with her dad’s name because of the similar nicknames/alliteration,
2. So then Eleanor would share ties with your name, by being named Eleanor Cole and called Cole (the Elean- part of her name also sounds similar to the -ilyn part of your name).
I would choose a different middle name then for Beatrice, perhaps Lita (another tie to her dad’s side) or Marilyn (so that each girl would have a part of her mother’s name).
Or if you decided you loved the name Colette, you could have Beatrice (called Bea, a tie to her dad) and Colette (called Cole, a tie to her mom). Perhaps Beatrice Lita and Colette Ruth.
I do think giving twins different surnames is a startling idea. I think it would be a statement not worth the ensuing confusion. The symbolism seems tricky to handle: surnames are packed with meaning, which is why it can be so incredibly annoying/upsetting to give up our own, or to give our children our husband’s family’s name. Applying those issues in such a dramatic and potentially divisive way to twins’ names makes me feel uneasy.
If the girls are going to have their father’s surname, and you have kept your surname, this makes me vote a second time to give them your surname as a middle name. I think it would also be an excellent name to keep in mind for a possible future son. (I think it would be fine to use it as the girls’ middle names AND as a son’s first name. I would think of it as “including your surname somewhere in each child’s name.” If there were to be a second son, I would use it as his middle name. Or I might decide to use it as a middle name for all the children, and not as anyone’s first name.)
Middle names. My favorite option is to use your surname AND an additional middle name, so that preserving your surname doesn’t mean losing the fun of choosing middles. I first thought to ask what Lita’s sisters’ names were, but then realized it would be awkward to use two triplet names and leave out the third. So: Lita, Ruth, and Virginia. I think my favorite would be to use Ruth and Lita, since they’re both four letters.
Eleanor Lita Cole and Beatrice Ruth Cole
Eleanor Lita Cole and Louisa Ruth Cole
Eleanor Lita Cole and Adelaide Ruth Cole
Eleanor Lita Cole and Adeline Ruth Cole
Another option, since the children will have your husband’s surname, is to use both names from your side of the family. This feels roughly even to me: two middles come closer to the impact of one surname.
Eleanor Virginia Cole and Beatrice Ruth Cole
Eleanor Virginia Cole and Louisa Ruth Cole
Eleanor Virginia Cole and Adelaide Ruth Cole
Eleanor Ruth Cole and Adeline Virginia Cole
Name update!
Hi Swistle!
Thanks so much for all your sweet thoughtful input on our daughters’ names. Everyone helped us seal the deal on Eleanor and Beatrice. In light of wanting Bo’s maternal grandmother (an identical triplet) to be a namesake, we looked up my maternal grandmother’s name, Rhea, and realized she’s in Greek mythology as the mother of Romulus and Remus! So we ended up with Eleanor Lita Cole Bedingf!eld and Beatrice Rhea Cole Bedingf!eld. We’re calling them Nora and Bea. Merry Christmas to you all!
I think Eleanor and Beatrice are WONDERFUL twin names! I hope Swistle has addressed your concerns and you stick with them.
My own preference, if I were to keep my maiden name after marriage, would be to give each child my maiden name as their middle name. (Especially with a maiden name as nice and versatile as Cole!) I think in your case this would simplify things and maintain a strong connection with your name. I also think it is a pattern you could either use or discard for any future children, particularly because the pattern was started with your eldest, who are twins, of the same gender. To me, it would be perfectly natural to have all the children named in this style OR to use another honor name for a middle,
Of course, this does not get to your interest in calling a child Cole. But I’m not sure that I would want to single one of a set of twins for that very distinct honor name. Perhaps it’d be better to save Cole in that case. But my favorite way to get to Cole on a girl is Colette. Good luck!!
I went to college with one of a set of identical girl twins who had different last names – one their mother’s, one their father’s. They both LOVED it (at least by the time they were 20) as it really did give them entirely separate identities. There were no hard feelings about it at all, it was something very special to them. But I think both their parents were super enthusiastic about their names as well, which I’m sure helped them take pride in the difference.
I kept my given name when I married and we picked odd/even minute of birth for our system to determine which last name our son would get. I picked even and he was born at 7:53 am, so my husband’s name it was ! I definitely got reactions from some folks that we were crazy to do it that way but it worked for us/felt fun and fair and left one major piece of his birth experience up for grabs (I had to have a scheduled c-section).
I’m so glad to hear stories like this, even if we do stick with the boring patriarchal naming scheme! ;) It makes me feel a little less crazy for brainstorming alternatives.
give em both your name! ;) Cole is a way better surname anyway.
Hehehe, I was definitely campaigning for this! My husband claims his surname is better for uniqueness, and also made the argument that a father with different last name than his child will get more scrutiny than a mother, which I can see. UNFORTUNATELY.
I’ve had a friend with the name Colleen. Never really had a nickname until junior high and it became Cole. Then, in college, it grew to Coles. A lot like Julie becomes Jules. I thought that was lovely and unique.
I’d use Cole for both middle names along with another middle name.
I know a family where the son got his father’s last name and the daughter got her mother’s last name. I had about 30 seconds of surprise/confusion when I met them, but now it seems totally normal.
Long time reader and rare commenter here. Having just named a daughter Colette, I love your idea of Cole being a nickname– but I have 2 caveats: first, I think the “honor” part could be lost in the future– would you be hurt if she didn’t want to use Cole as a nickname in the future? Second, I had the same idea to maybe use Cole as a nickname, but the femininity and pronunciation of the full name does not tend toward Cole in daily use.
2nd of all, I like the idea of using a different last name for each daughter. I know a family whose daughter have the mom’s last name and the son’s have the father’s last name. It works. But, since it is vetoed, I strongly suggest using Cole as a second middle for both girls– it is what I did with my daughters as well. Everyone gets to share the family names and it means a lot to me and daddy. In our case, since we used my maiden as a 2nd middle, we chose 1st middle names as names we just loved.
3rd: your faves are obviously Eleanor and Beatrice. Use them!! I had the same hesitance. Your phrase “I’ve resisted closing the case” is exactly how I felt with Colette. But, you still have middles to play around with.
Congrats!
I really wish some kind of equitable surname-assigning tradition would arise and I have to admit, when I was an idealistic teen (30 years ago) I thought it would have by now. We hyphenated our kids’ last name but that just kicks the can down the road a generation and doesn’t really solve the problem. For straight couples, I’ve always like the idea of giving all the girls the mother’s last name and all the boys the father’s, but I doubt that would fly in your situation.
I do like the idea of using Cole as a middle for these and any subsequent children.
Eleanor and Beatrice are great twin names. I like a lot of your other options, too, but I think you should stick with your first choices. Ruth makes a great middle for Beatrice if you don’t go with the Cole idea.
I would definitely go the YourSurname HisSurname route for Middle Name, Last Name of both / all children.
That’s my favorite way of going about it, and seems most balanced in my mind.
I love Eleanor.
Beatrice – I’m not sure where this new trend of Beatrice nn. Bea has come from? I’m in my mid 20s and I will say my friend group has always used the term “bia” to mean b!tch. So.. I hate the idea of calling a daughter “Bea” as it’s said the same. I wonder if she’ll end up getting a lot of “Bea you’re a Bia” in middle/high school.
I’d much prefer Louisa w/ the nn. Lula from your list.
Eleanor Cole Bedingf!eld. Louisa Cole Bedingf!eld. Nora & Lula. Love!
So weird, but I just read the “Name Update” from Baby Navy Amelia sister to Roland.
And I made the same comment about “Bea” making me think “Bia” and two other posters said they would never make that connection.
SO. Maybe it is a generational thing or a regional thing. or a just me thing and should be given no consideration whatsoever. Thought I’d throw that out there, because I didn’t realize I had said that before!
Haha, it’s okay! I hadn’t considered that but I’ve definitely heard it. There’s even that show about “The B in Apt. 34C” or whatever. But I’m leaning that it’s got enough use as a name (and an animal) that it’s not the first association people make.
Haha, I just read that comment there, too, Britni and you did say the same thing – it’s still a valid concern, so don’t worry about repeating yourself!
I think most people say “Bee” (although I do kind of prefer “Bee-ah”)
Valid concern meaning – we are all hear to help each other so it’s helpful to comment when someone may not know that the name they’ve chosen has certain connotations, not that I think they shouldn’t use Beatrice because of “Bia”
OK, I’m done commenting on Beatrice, sorry for all the comments! I love the name SO much and have since Sarah, the former Duchess of York used it for her daughter.
I’m late 20s and have heard plenty of people use “bia” in that way, but I don’t think there’s much danger of confusion here.
For one thing, I think “Bea” is often pronounced with one syllable (“Bee”), not two (“Bia”). Right?
For another, Beatrice-nicknamed-Bea is very, very traditional and pretty widely known, I think–definitely not a “new trend.” “Bia” as a slang term is, I think, less than 15 years old, and I’ve never heard anyone outside my age group use it (and we stopped years ago). I’d be more likely to object to Bea for being old-fashioned (but it’s come around to being vintage).
All that is to say, I don’t think I’d worry about young people confusing Bea for a newfangled nickname derived from an established slang term. ;-)
Like Bea Arthur, y’know?
Wow, I never made the connection with Bea Arthur. Good example!
All of the Beas I know (including my daughter) pronounce it “bee.”
Great concern to point out! Although I say Bea in my head like Bee. I think that’s what most people say as well?? Or am I wrong?
I really like Eleanor and Beatrice together. They are both great names! I have some reservations about Bea & Bo together, not because it seems “weird” but more because I get tongue tied easily and could see myself getting them mixed up.
I also like the idea of Adelaide and Beatrice together because of the baby “A” and baby “B” thing. I know one family who actually gave baby “A” the B name and baby “B” got the A name. It’s a cute tie for twins, but it’s subtle enough that they don’t really seem matchy.
I think having twins with different last names would be weird. If they are fraternal, people might not even realize they are siblings, much less twins. If they are identical, I suspect you (and the twins) will get a lot of weird looks/comments/questions. I think it’s something that I would get very tired explaining. Cole is also very different in style from the girl names you like. However, I think it would be great to keep in reserve for a boy (assuming you plan on more children later). If you’d rather not reserve it, or don’t know that you’ll have more, I like the idea of Cole as the middle or 2nd middle name. It’s also something you could carry on with other kids in the future.
My preference would be to give the girls a hyphenated last name, in part bc I find Bedingf!eld-Cole to be pleasant and not choppy and most importantly, meaningful. It allows your husband (and probably other relatives and friends) to feel like the dad’s name gets first billing. We know quite a few families who have gone this route, where the parents have individual/original last names and the children have a combo. We know a family with the same rhythm 3-1 and I enjoy it quite a bit.
I always support mother’s last name (or maiden name) as a middle name and I also enjoy double middle names when the names all have meaning, but in your case I’d suggest a double last name.
I’d definitely consider hyphenation, but worried it’s just too long, since Bed. is so long already. My sister-in-law has commented a few times we shouldn’t give them very long first names to go with their surname because she sometimes has trouble fitting hers on forms.
Hmm…I’m in the same “Hyphenate!” camp. Mostly because it’s so rare that two surnames work as well together as yours and your husband’s do. I agree it’s long– but not so terribly long. I have a friend whose hyphenated surname is several letters longer than your daughters’ would be (she’s British, and it actually has a similar stylistic feel), and she just leaves the second surname off forms where it wouldn’t fit. It’s never been an issue at all. With most databases these days they look things up by just the first few letters anyway.
Maybe my Southern roots make this difficult for me (not taking your husband’s last name or at least hyphenating – doesn’t happen!) or the fact that I’m a 26-year-old fraternal twin… I’m not sure? The idea of giving the twins different last names seems extremely odd. Twins fascinate people… it’s just how it is. They are going to be asked for the rest of the life “what it’s like to be a twin,” “do they feel each other’s pain,” “do they have the same thoughts,” “do they change places,” etc. Adding one more (really confusing) element to being a twin seems a little mean. If they take their future husbands’ names, people will understand the different names… otherwise, it is going to be a constant struggle for them and for the parents.
I am pro mothers seeing their own names reflected in their offspring, but I think in our culture (assuming you’re in N. America) it would be so uncommon for twins to have different last names that it would require you to accept up front that you’re in for a lifetime of explaining. (Maybe that is okay with you!)
There are a number of families in my social circle where the mother kept her own name and the children are Firstname Mother’sName Father’sName. Not hyphenated, so I assume that their common legal name is Firstname Father’sName, but on school rosters and so forth, they are always listed with their full name.
I think it’s a really nice way to handle the issue without going fully into a hyphenated name (which I also support, but it can get long and cumbersome for many!) In your family, you’d have an Eleanor Cole Bedingfield and a Beatrice Cole Bedingfield.
And I think those are GREAT GREAT NAMES. Those are the names of ladies who will be novelists and senators and front indie bands. I love those names to death. (Can you tell I am very into Eleanor and Beatrice?)
We hyphenated our last names when we married, creating a six syllable monster that reads like “McIrish-MacIrish.” We couldn’t do that to our child, so we decided to have my wife’s original last name as a second middle, as you suggest here, and I think it works really well. We’re planning to do it with any future children as well, and we’re happy that it keeps her name in play while avoiding our cumbersome last name for a little kid.
My issue with separate last names is that the concept of “mommy loves all her kids equally” is really essential for little kids, and it might feel as if you’re claiming one of the twins as your own and letting your husband have the other one. (I have an even bigger issue with separate last names for boys and girls, for this reason). There are so many unavoidable things in childhood that can make one sibling feel less loved by a parent than the other, I wouldn’t want to risk a name that might compound that feeling. But I’m a little swayed by the example in the comment above of twins that did have different last names and really loved it. Maybe if you used first or middle names that gave each twin a very strong tie to the other parent?
I think hyphenation might be a really good option for you. If you tell your girls later on that you considered giving them separate last names but weren’t sure which one to give which, maybe they’ll have fun going by just Cole or just Bedingf!eld, and picking which one gets to be which. (Maybe Bea won’t like alliteration as much as you do, or will really like alliteration).
Yes, this was actually my main worry about the different surnames, more than 18 or so years of explaining it to others — that the girls would think one was more “mine” and one was more my husband’s, or use it in fights (“I wish *I* had Daddy’s name!”). After so many awesome comments today — THANKS, you guys! — it’s also why (in addition to Swistle’s valid points on style!) I’m shying away from Cole as one of their foisted-upon-them nicknames and more towards both of their middle names. And one could still choose to go by their middle name later, once they have some intentionality of their own.
I am also going to agree with everyone and say that Beatrice and Eleanor are FABULOUS!!! love all the shortened or nicknames you can use.
I think my next favorite combo is:
Adeline and Beatrice. Ada and Bea. So cute.
I feel like Eleanor and Adeline would be my next go-to although you have fabulous names on your list already.
As for surname predicaments. I would definitely go with two middle names the first being a middle name of your choices (love Lita and Ruth by the way) and then would put Cole as the second middle name and keep your husbands surname. Alternatively, I normally don’t care for hyphonated names because they are so long, but since Cole is short and easy to spell I think it would be ok in this situation. I definitely feel like if you used Cole as a first name (or even if you put it in middle name spot but use it as a first) when paired with any of the other girl names you like, people will always assume that you have a girl and a boy. If you use cole as a first name then I would also choose a different gender-neutral/unisex name for the other twin.
Good luck and keep us posted!!
I love Eleanor as well (I have my own little Elinore, so I’m a little partial – hehe) and I think it pairs so well with many of your names. My personal preference is with Louisa :)
I wanted to put my vote in for giving them both the single middle name of Cole. I think it sounds great with both names and I think it is a fun, but not too “in your face”, thing to have in common as they are twins after all!
Congrats!
Eleanor and Beatrice are perfect. Lita and Ruth are perfect as first middle names. Cole is perfect as shared second middle names.
Eleanore Lita Cole Bedingfeld and Beatrice Ruth Cole Bedingfeld. Perfect names.
My husband and I will be using both of our last names when we have kids. We decided to pair names that we like with the last name it sounds best with. Whatever first name seems like a fit for the baby will come with the accompanying last name. After that, the next child will have the other last name. There are many names that honor my husband in some way, so the child that gets my last name will have an honor name for him and vice versa.
In terms of a child thinking that one parents loves the other child more because they have their last name, I see it as a non-issue. I don’t think my mother loves me any less even though I don’t have her name. I also don’t think my father loves me more. Sometimes, we over think things that should be simple.
We haven’t told many people because we’re still a couple of years away from having kids. Honestly, I don’t think anyone will be surprised. People already think we’re pretty strange, and that’s okay. We considered choosing our own last name for a while, but tenuous family relationships stopped us. This is the next best thing :-)
I love Eleanor and Beatrice. Have you considered Matilda? Iris?
Thanks so much for all the ideas and input, Swistle and everyone! This is so fun.
If anyone feels like tossing in thoughts on one more thing, I didn’t even think to note this because she’s almost always called Lita (and because my letter was already so long!), but the girls’ great-grandmother’s first name is actually O’Lita. With sisters LaGeita and Wanita! But they generally went by Lita, Geita, and Nita. I know there have been posts and threads in the past on variations on namesakes, and I’m obviously of the opinion that Lita is “her name” enough that it’s totally fine to use that, but I’ve broached it and gotten skeptical response from at least one person so far. I wonder if it feels like a stretch because the first letter would be different, and particularly hoping it doesn’t come across as critical of her given name, just a slight modernization.
She will still be honored. And it’s a middle name. Very few people will know the middle name. Our son was named after my grandpa. His name is Herman. We went with Harmen for my sons middle name. Herman seemed to stark. Too…I don’t know…pee wee ish. Harmen was gentle and flowed well. A difference in names? Yes. Still honoring my grandpa? Absolutely. And my grandpa sees it as an honor, too.
Hey! My great-grandmother’s name was Oneita (pronounced kind of like Wanita, she thought maybe her parents had intended to name her Juanita but didn’t know how to spell it), and she went mostly by Nita. Maybe our ancestors hung out on the same baby naming blog 100 years ago? But I know in my family, a little girl named Nita would OBVIOUSLY be an honor name, and nobody would be anything but thrilled.
That being said though, I kind of love O’Lita as a middle. It’s very pretty, and has a surnamey vibe that makes a good counterbalance to Cole. (Plus, maybe someday someone will try to tell you about kids these days with their crazy names and crazy spellings, and you can put them right in their place.)
Beatrice O’Lita BedingF!eld and Eleanor Cole BedingF!eld would be my vote.
Oh wow! Southerners? My partner’s family has some wacky names like that in their family tree– Peachy, Dreama, etc.
I think it’s absolutely fine to use Lita, but an impish part of me would be tempted by O’Lita– it’s just so appealingly out there.
Rural Illinois in 1908 in my case…so go figure.
I would worry that I would end up tangling the names Bea and Bo, and calling the wrong names lots, but I honestly adore Beatrice/Bea so much that I would just consider the tangling the price of a great name. I love Beatrice (Bea) and Eleanor (Nora) together, great choices.
I kept my last name when I married and it is the same as yours +man. I wanted to name a son Cole/man so much, but now that I have had daughters, I honestly think it would be confusing to have people in the same household have a matching first and last name. I can see it just causing more headache. I second the idea of using it as a second middle name, and I think Cole-Bedingf!eld also works as a hyphenated name. I used my middle (my mom’s last name (she kept her name too when she married)) for both of my daughter’s middles, but now I’m kinda kicking myself for not using Cole as a second middle for both girls! (Cole/man actually rhymes with my husband’s last name, so that was out for kindness to my daughters reasons.)
Regarding the “Lita” vs “O’Lita” , yes, Lita is great to use, and easy to connect. And honestly, O’Lita is a little more clunky, so I bet your daughter would appreciate the streamlined approach. I wouldn’t even bother with the skeptical response.
Eleanor and Beatrice are fabulous together!
What about Nicola nn Cole?
Eleanor and Nicola
Beatrice and Nicola
Louisa and Nicola (Love!)
I really like Cole on a boy and think Cole Bedingfield is awesome!
Adeline and Nicola nn Ada and Cole?
Nicolette nn Cole? Adelaide/Adeline and Nicolette? Addy and Lettie, middle names Cole?
All the best!
I think it is 100% an honor name – if she went by Lita then that seems more her name then O’Lita. Also, especially d used in a middle name spot then I think O’Lita seems a bit much.
I was thinking, if you decided to go with one girl with a different last name, what I would do is the baby who was born first will get your husbands last name, second baby born with get yours… Alphabetical. First babe gets the B, second babe gets the C. That way it’s easy to explain to the girls how you chose who got what last name.
Another option, is if you go with Adeline/Adelaide and Beatrice… If you had a boy next and you named him Cole then that would be A-B-C!! Kinda fun! Heheh. With a lot of “what-ifs” in there!!
I am old fashioned enough to enjoy the family unity in surnames. I also have had three surnames, my father’s, my stepfather’s (which was my maiden name) and now my husband’s, which is the only one I chose. At the same time, I refer to myself as a all the time, I talk about ny kids having the height, and my kids yell go Team . I think there are many ways to honor family origins. I am very feminist in my views, but sometimes it feels like the name thing ends up being a way to keep score.
These thoughts just crystallized for me, so thank you for letting me process them. My vote is to include Cole in all of your children’s names, and to honor Lita in the way that feels most natural, rather than “proper” to you. Because the honor is the important thing, right?
I agree that Eleanor and Beatrice are lovely together. If the Bea/Bo similarity is too much, you could use the nickname Trixie. Ellie and Trixie are rather nice together.
I like the idea of Cole as a middle name for all the children though I probably would bother with the second middle as that seems to diminish the place of Cole in the name. Second middle names often get lost in the shuffle so Cole in that place would be pretty much only on the birth certificate. Eleanor Lita Cole Bedingfie!d will be Eleanor L. Bedingfie!d.
This depends on what the individual chooses: I have both my middle initials on things. If space allows for only one initial (such as on my credit card), it’s my second middle initial.
I have two middle names and I actually found that there isn’t a lot of choice involved- many time the government, my university, the back etc. defaults to my first initial. For example, my drivers licence arrived in the mail with my first middle name’s initial on it. There was no where on the form to specify which initial I preferred. Just something to think about.
*bank
It has been my experience that I need to specify how I want my name, but then they do it the way I prefer: my driver’s license has both middle initials, my bank account has both middle initials, my credit card has my second middle initial because they only had room for one so I requested it be my second initial, etc. If it’s a form, I write it in: like, I write my name in the space provided, and then above the name I write “I use both middle initials; if only room for one middle initial, please use ___.” If I’m on the phone setting something up, and they ask for a middle initial, I say, “I have two—do you have room for two, or only one?” If they say “Only one,” I give them the second one.
I also agree with swistles’ last comment. Both my kids have two middle names, one to honor each side of our families and so far, on all documentations we’ve been able to include both the middle names, fully written out. We agreed if we had to shorten, then we would use both middle initials:
(eg. Our daughter would be Juliet GA D____).
I don’t think it will get lost at all. Plus, my daughter thinks it’s so neat that her middle names are just like grandma and granny and that her last name is just like her whole family. So I imagine at some point your girls will think that it’s so neat that their names are just like great-aunt so&so and like mommy and her whole family and like daddy and his whole family. It gives these little people a connection to others (rather than just themselves) which I think is really important.
I think you’re very lucky in that your name and your husband’s are quite compatible as hyphenated names. This would be my choice for the surname– B….-Cole.
Although I understand the cool girl factor in having a first name as unexpected as Cole, it’s not something I’d want as my name 100% of time, which makes me discourage you using it for one of the twins– especially if the other would get such an extremely different name stylistically (like Eleanor or Beatrice).
Really I think Eleanor and Beatrice are so perfect together, that you should just stop right now and settle on those as the names.
I’d suggest Eleanor Lita B…-Cole and Beatrice Ruth (/Virginia) B….-Cole.
The Bea and Bo factor would give me pause though. I might look for another name stylistically like Beatrice, but without the potentially confusing nickname.
Some ideas:
Caroline (closer to Eleanor’s popularity level, nicely alliterative with Cole)
Catherine
Frances
Jane
Harriet
Helen/Helena
Adelaide (and you already like it)
Louisa (similar!)
Josephine
Margaret
Annabel
Dorothy or Dorothea
I also think using family names is very nice indeed– what about Ruth or Virginia in the first name spot?
Eleanor and Beatrice are SO GOOD. I love Beatrice/Beatrix, so this is exciting to see.
I know of a family who gave their father’s last name to their oldest daughter and the mother’s last name to the younger set of twin daughters. (Or vice versa? Can’t remember.) It was an unusual move, but it fit with the family, who is not conventional by any standard — they all have quirky names, they grew up all over the world, they speak several languages, etc. For them, it felt natural. Does it feel natural for your family? Is gender equality an issue you and your husband are passionate about? If so, go ahead! I think it’s kind of cool.
Adding to this — if you were to give them each one surname, I’d choose Eleanor Cole and Beatrice Bedingfield, because I’m a sucker for alliteration.
I would have thought it felt natural for us, and gender equality is definitely a big issue for us (Bo told several people who asked about me changing my name that he was just relieved he was able to keep his name). A few people perhaps laughed and knowingly rolled their eyes when I mentioned the twin name possibility, but given the shock and appalled response we got from a few (close!) friends and family, maybe it would not be as natural and unsurprising for us as it could be. Maybe we need to pick up a few more languages and live in some more countries. ;)
1. I love Beatrice and Eleanor- winning combination.
2. Here’s another vote for Cole as the middle name. As THE middle name. :) I think it receives a lot more honor there than as a last name, anyway. When you think about it, women commonly change their last name, but how often have you heard of a woman changing her middle? :)
3. The pronunciation of Bea- I always say it as “Bee.” Well, that and as “Bay-Uh,” because I had a (Mexican) student named Beatriz who was called “Bay-Uh.” I LOVE IT, so very much, as “Bay-Uh.” But I’ve never heard it or said it as “Bee-Uh.” Is that just me?
Nope not just you.
Hi Marilyn
I love Nora(h) and Bea as sister names. I think they are a sweet pairing. You have lots of options of middle names from family, like Jayne and Elisabeth, But I am particularly partial to honoring your name and your family, as they will most likely have Bo’s last name. What about more cool middle names, like Cole and a maiden name from your mother’s people? My mother’s maiden name is Chandler and mine is Tatum, and I always imagined using those some day, particularly for girls names.
I also love Colleen and Adelaide as first names.
I wish you luck and love. Naming babies is such stressful work, and choosing names can mean someone saying YES to their resume or WHAT THE HECK?? I feel like there’s a lot of pressure. But you have great taste, and you will make beautiful babies!
Love,
Bo’s cousin, Emma
Another vote to use Cole as a middle name for all of your children.
Congrats! I love your name choices and I loved your card.
Five gold stars for that Christmas card. I laughed out loud.
I love the names you chose, and I love your card so much! Congratulations!
Beautiful names, beautiful babies, and one of the best holiday cards I’ve ever seen! Congrats all around. :)
Yes, 10 points to the line on the Christmas card!
LOL on the card! Congrats and way to kick holiday butt!