Hi Swistle,
I don’t know if you will get to this before I actually have the baby, as I am getting induced Tuesday, but for reasons I’m not going to go into, we can no longer use the baby name we have been planning on THE ENTIRE PREGNANCY. The name we have been calling him, the name we told our other son, the name we love. :-( I am obviously feeling hormonal and have been crying over this all weekend and just feel like poop about the whole situation.
So, *brisk clap*, I’d like some opinions on some second choice names that we had eliminated for one reason or another. We also have a two year old son named Archer (who you guys helped name!).
Here are a few names we like and reasons why they were/are problematic:
Anders (This would have been our pick, but is it too close to Archer? I don’t want my kids to have matchy matchy names. He would probably get called Andy often which doesn’t bother me, and I like that it throws back to our Scandinavian heritage.)
Theodore (I like the name, but I don’t like the nickname Theo, which I’m sure he would be called. I do like the nickname Teddy, but I’m not sure it would grow with him.)
August (Just not sure if I would love it forever, if it’s too trendy, etc.)
If you guys have any other suggestions it would be SO appreciated. Thanks guys!– J.
I wish right now for an office, with comfortable chairs and a box of tissues and a little table for having tea. I would call you in for tea, and we would sip, and I would feed you petits fours and I would PRY. Because that is my first impulse: to get the WHOLE STORY. I want to know the name that had to be given up, because then I could look for names of a similar style. But then I also want to know WHY it had to be given up, in case what is needed here is a firm discussion of circumstances in which a name does NOT need to be given up, even though in the midst of panic and hormones and dismay it might seem that it DOES.
Well. You have told us what you have told us, and I must assume that if you say the name is absolutely unusable, the name is absolutely unusable. But my first suggestion is still to consider whether it really is unusable. For example, did a friend/relative/celebrity just use the same name for their baby? The name is still usable for you, and your line is “OMG!! I can’t believe it!! That is the name we chose for OUR son! What a coincidence!” And it seems like there are a lot of other situations where the initial reaction might be to strike the name, but where that would not be the only option. Well, we will assume you have one of the OTHER sorts of reasons, the kind where the name is now absolutely unusable.
If we knew what the name IS (and why it was rejected, so that we know how close the new name can be to the original choice), that could help us choose something else that might make you happy. For example, if the name were Miller, and if you just found out something that makes Miller unusable but Meyer or Mercer or Baker or Turner would work, well then! We’d be halfway there!
Archer and Anders are indeed similar: both start with A, both have two syllables, both have six letters, both have an -er- sound; and because the -er- is at the end of one and nearly at the end of the other, they come close to rhyming (Archer and Ander). But they also have different A-sounds, some different prominent consonant sounds, and the endings don’t match even though they come close. They are similar, yes, but if you love the name Anders, and if you are down to the wire, I’d say you have a good possibility here.
In general, when parents strongly dislike the nickname of a name, I do recommend against using it. But I also reassure that right now is a very good time to avoid nicknames: a Theodore would not for sure be called Theo, unless you or he chose it. Teddy might not grow with him, but I don’t see any reason Ted wouldn’t—or of course he could switch back to Theodore.
August doesn’t seem at all trendy to me. While I can’t assure you that you will love the name forever, I don’t see any reason you wouldn’t. And if you like nicknames, I love Archie and Gus together.
Any of the three names on your list will serve your son well. If the name you wanted is indeed ruled out (and I do urge you to make VERY SURE it REALLY IS ruled out before you give up on it) (okay, now I will stop with that), you have three very good candidates to take its place. A few more possibilities to consider (some pulled from the Nordic section of The Baby Name Wizard):
Aidric
Broder (maybe too much -er with Archer)
Emmett
Emil (the -l might blend a bit with the L- of the surname)
Everett
Hugo
Jasper (maybe too much -er with Archer)
Mathias
Miles
Niels
Niko
There were quite a few others that I liked but that didn’t quite work with the surname. Soren, for example, seemed rhymey/sing-song with the -son of your surname. Or Finn: if I say the full name carefully, the -inn isn’t rhymey with the -on; but I found I didn’t say it carefully. And I wanted to recommend Anderson instead of Anders, but that doesn’t work with the -son surname.
Let’s also have a poll for your three finalists:
I have a Theodore, nn Teddy, and he’s never been called Theo. People do call him Ted sometimes, but it’s more of a sweet, familiar version of Teddy than a middle-aged man. I figure if Teddy is too baby-ish when he gets older, he can go by Ted; and if he doesn’t like that, he can go by Theodore or even change to Theo (I didn’t used to like Theo either, but it’s grown on me a lot!).
Anders is my next pick, I like that a lot, even though it is a bit similar to Archer.
August has never really been my favorite; it’s a nice enough name, although not my style, but I seem to be in the minority here based on the poll results.
I love August! It doesn’t strike me as trendy at all. I also adore Archie & Gus together. My second choice from your list is Theodore & I agree he doesn’t have to be Theo. Teddy can grow into Ted, if he wants, or he can be just Theodore his whole life. Anders is too close to Archer for me though.
I’ll second Swistle’s comments about wanting to know why you can’t use your first choice name. The only reason I can think of dropping the perfect name so late in the game would be if someone else suddenly used it. However, that would only be a problem if that someone else was very close to you. Like, one of your siblings used it-that close. If it was used by a friend/co-worker/neighbor/cousin/celebrity/etc., then I would consider it still in the running.
I’ll suggest Jude, Milo, Henry, Griffin, Harris, Harrison & Bennett.
What about Atticus, Felix, or Milo?
i too am curious about the reason it doesn’t work. But from swistle’s list I really love Everett. Really really. Good luck, these situations are so tough!
Oh man! I’m with Swistle. Dying to know the back story! And I tend to agree that probably the name isn’t as unusable as you think, especially if it’s merely that someone else got to it (slightly) before you; that is an easily remedied situation. My mind did wander in more macabre directions… Someone with the name just committed a horrendous crime in your community…? It’s also the name of your best friend’s husband, who just left her…? You found out your father has a secret love child who also has the name…? Sorry! I just imagine that it must be a very complex, specific, and unhappy issue. If it’s not, please, please, please take Swistle’s advice and use your favorite anyway!
That aside, I definitely don’t think August is trendy– at least, it is less “trendy” than Archer, as it has a much longer history of use.
To me, Anders is too close and too stylistically different from Archer to work happily as sibling names– but each to their own.
Theodore is a great name, and good with your surname, but it doesn’t feel 100% right to me when combined with Archer and your objections to the possible nicknames.
How about going back to the drawing board a bit longer? I know you only have one night– but here are some names that occurred to me:
Griffin
Axel (maybe too “out there”, but it’s Nordic)
Thor (I know someone with this name and it feels completely normal/interesting)
Soren
Lorcan
Fletcher
Magnus
Jasper
North
Crispin
My favorite with Archer and your surname is Thor– I really think it could work! Also Magnus (very Nordic) and Jasper.
Good luck, and please update us!
I also just want to add that– maybe Swistle and I are pronouncing it subtly differently?– to my ear “Soren L…” is not too sing-songy. It rather has a pleasant lilt about it. Anyway!
Just playing on the Scandinavian connection, how do you feel about Henrik? Or Gustav (with the nickname Gus, I’m thinking as an alternative if you’re not sure about August). Orrr…Hugo, Stellan, Johan, Magnus, Roald? My favorites with brother Archer are Hugo, Stellan, and Magnus.
Good luck to you, for this and for a quick and healthy birth! His name is out there.
Magnus is such a good one!
I voted for August. Judging from the rest of your list, I think your definition of trendy is not “names that have always been as popular as they are now and so no one will ever guess which decade my child was born in” but instead something more like “names that are part of a specific trend, and its going to look like I picked a name trying to look cool,” and I don’t think August is trendy in that way.
If Anders is too close to Archer, what about Ansel? You’d have to enunciate the two Ls to keep them from running together, but that kind of thing doesn’t bother me much. Or maybe Hendrik, if you like Scandinavian names? But its a little hard to brainstorm new ideas not knowing which name just got ruled out…I’d hate for you to end up with 20 comments saying ____ is the perfect name if its already the one you can’t use.
Or a random thought…could you name him after yourself? I think I’d be very tempted to use a name I was already very attached to if I had to replace a name I’d spent an entire pregnancy bonding with. You only use J in your signature, but I’ll throw out that Jules, Jesse, and Jenner all seem like great boy names to me. Or maybe a close family member, if there are any that you aren’t mad at right now for wrecking your baby name.
I love your style and the names you like are also on my list. I selected Theodore from the poll because I really don’t think the Theo nm is an issue. If anyone were to use it, you can correct them, and I don’t think Theo is a nm people jump to. I much prefer Teddy. He can go my Theodore when older at any time. My husband did this with work people only knowing him by the full name.
Are there anymore kids in the possible future? If so, I would personally save August to be Augusta for a girl. Angers is great too, but Theodore shines a little brighter IMO. Good luck! You really have great options!
I live in an area of the U.S. with a lot of Scandinavian heritage, and I would automatically say Anders “Ahnders”. I know several young boys with this name and it never occurred to me to say it like Anderson. In retrospect, this is probably a regional or family background thing, but you should be aware of it all the same. It’s a fabulous name, though, and I think it goes just fine with Archer. I personally don’t think you should worry about the stylistic differences, and the sounds of the 2 names are distinct enough. Archer and Anders is a fun pairing.
That being said, I really like August for you. Some other Scandinavian names I’ve seen on young boys in my neck of the woods: Lars, Nils, Jonas, Leo. Others that might fit well: Hugo, Oscar, Anton. Theodore is also great: Teddy could become Ted when he is older if he wants.
You have some wonderful choices and any one of them could be the “right” name for your new baby.
I also say it Ahn-ders, but that’s because the only person I have ever known with that name pronounced it that way in college. I also knew one Anna (Ahn-na – like Frozen), and I always wonder how annoying it is to her to have to correct pronunciation.
I love Jonas Larson. Jonas and Archer.
I had to comment because I have a son named August (we call him Gus or Gussy..he’s 1), but we almost named him Archer! I also have a 2-year-old named Felix, and it was a name I was always a little unsure of while pregnant but absolutely love now that we’ve used it. I love that it is always just Felix, no nickname, simple but cute and somewhat unique. If we have a third son one day, he will be named Theodore! Felix, August and Theodore…Felix, Gus, & Teddy. So my vote is for Theodore! Archer and Theodore, Archie & Teddy. But if you’re still looking for other ideas, Felix is a good option.
Gunnar? Alaric? I love Theodore nn Teddy/Ted. I love August. Benjamin? Cristopher, nn Kit?
I like Anders, and I was going to suggest Bennet and Felix but I see someone already has. Also Simon. Tate. (I would pronounce it AHN-ders, but if you prefer ANN-ders, no problem by me)
As for the reason a name becomes unusable…can I just say I am feeling very flushed myself imagining the reasons and I suspect it might be something like…well let’s imagine the father of one of my daughter’s friends just got arrested for doing something so horrible that he will be in prison for a while. And it wasn’t “white collar crime”. Let’s just stop there. Before this happened, I might have thought of what a small little connection that we are naming our new baby the same unique name as the father of a friend of our older child! And now I would think no, never. I don’t want to even type out the name.
Which is different that somebody I know just used it, or some celebrity has used it, or some celebrity has done something icky. The examples that come to mind which Swistle has discussed include names of people involved in mass shootings or bad political scandals.
If you like Teddy but aren’t sure about the fullname, what about Toby. Could stand alone or be short for Tobias. I agree about August being a trendy name.
But whatever happens, don’tlet anyone pressure you into filling out the birth certificate until you’re sure. 24 hours is a very short time to have to come up with a name he,ll have to carry his whole life.
All the best.
I voted for unsure but the more I think about it I think that 3 syllables without any sounds repeating in your last name sounds best so I change my vote to Theodore. I also will suggest Benedict. I too am DYING to know why you cannot use your chosen name! I hope that it wasn’t knowingly stolen from you. If so I would just stick it to them and name my child what I planned on regardless. But that’s just me:) Good luck and congrats!
I know two grown-up men of my generation (30s) who are Theodore and have always, always been Teddy. Not just to friends and family but also at work. I think it’s a handsome name. I wouldn’t throw out Theodore for worry of Theo if you like Teddy. Also, a kid can be a Theodore. It’s no longer or more cumbersome than Christopher or William, and I’ve met scores of those.
That being said, my second choice is August. I’d only worry then if you’re having more kids that you might feel pressured to have another “A.”
Have you ever thought of Andrew? That’s a classy name, too.
Just wanted to throw out there, if it is because someone else used the name, I was in a similar position. My daughter was born just weeks before my sil’s baby of unknown sex. We both chose the same girl name. I decided I couldn’t do to her what may have happened to you and so being the first to go, instead of staking claim, chose another name (I love it just as much if not more now that it belongs to an 18mo old). But, I did ask after my nephew was born, if we’d both had girls and I’d used “the name” what would she have done. She would have used “the name.” And initially, due to hormones or whatever, I would have been upset. But in hindsight I don’t think it would have mattered, in fact I think it would be a connection I’d have grown to love. If we end up in the same scenario again, I’d use “the name” without worry.
Angus? Lachlan? Isaac? Elliot? Caius?
Elliott Larson is very handsome. Caius is nice too.
Lachlan Larson sounds too singsongy to me.
I love the name Anders. I think there are obvious similarities between Anders and Archer but I also think that if that is the only name that you love then I think you could do it for sure.
I really like August. LOVE the nn Gus or Auggie. Or if you love the name Gus, what about Guthrie? Archer and Guthrie.
August reminds me of Oliver. Our little guy is Oliver and we just love the name. He goes by Oliver. Sometimes we use Ollie, but mostly Oliver. Archer and Oliver.
Oliver makes me think of Otto or Otis or Aldo. What about Felix?
I do really like Theodore (it’s on our short list).
What about Simon? Archer and Simon.
What about Duncan? Archer and Duncan.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the suggestion of Stellan. Archer and Stellan. Probably one of my favourite option with Archer. OH… and Griffin is also fabulous. Archer and Griffin. Archie and Griff. LOVE BOTH OF THESE!!!
I also really like the suggestions of Felix, Hendrik, Hugo, Milo, Emil, and Miles.
What about Giles? Archer and Giles.
So many great options above, I hope one of them will work for you. Even if right now, the new name doesn’t feel right, once it’s on your little guy you’ll love it and will likely turn out to be a better match then the previous name! Good luck! Keep us posted for sure.
Just have to say that Guthrie is inspired. Archer & Guthrie, I love it!
I too would love to know the original name and circumstances! I would also urge you to wait as long as you can to name him, get to know him first. If indeed you truly can’t use the original name then give yourself as much time as you can to change it. Don’t rush, because then you will likely regret whatever you pick (even if you love the name–the rushing would make you regret)
That said, I will throw out Thomas, Magnus, Frederik, Conrad, Walter as suggestions. I like Theodore best of your list. Good luck, and I feel for you that this happened!
Archer and Anders is fine! The other options seem like a different style from Archer, but perhaps I am just ignorant of the name’s background. Can you still use the middle name?
Rasmus
Conrad/ Conraad
Nels
Jan (YAHWN)
also came to mind.
Sorry, forgot to add that I noticed in your previous thread that you two liked the name Dane. Have you mulled that one over for this baby?
I kind of love Anders! I also like Theodore and agree with Swistle that he wouldn’t automatically become Theo, especially if you made it known that you would be calling him Teddy.
I’m with everyone else in that I’m dying to know the circumstances that made your original pick unusable and whether it’s truly as unusable as you think. I just had a baby boy, and it just so happened that me and four other members of my family were all pregnant at the same time. When we announced our name choice, my cousin who was also pregnant with a boy said that she’d considered that name. She was due a full month before me so would definitely deliver first. It turned out that she went with another name, but honestly if she had decided to use “our” name I would have used it anyway. And my sister and another cousin both named their baby girls Elizabeth (but went with slightly different nicknames.) So it may seem like a family member using your name means the name is out, but it doesn’t have to be! Of course, your name issue is probably something totally different – ignore me then. Sorry. :)
I will suggest the name Stellan. Reflects your heritage, sounds great with Archer, heard of but not too out there. Archer and Stellan
I have an Anders who’s is 6. I don’t believe anyone has ever called him Andy even though I assumed people would prior to his birth. We live in the PNW and everyone here pronounces his name like Anderson. When we visit family in the Midwest we hear a mixture of pronounciations though. It’s a great name! We had picked Archer for our third son, but ended up switching last minute! We also have an Edison, Archer and Edison sound good together too!
So sorry that you can’t use the name that you planned. I’m also curious about why you can’t. We had friends at church use the name that we had picked out, exactly one week before we had our baby. I was so upset. But it turned out that our baby was a boy and not a girl, so we didn’t “need” the chosen name anyhow. But we did spend that week wondering what to do – whether to ‘duplicate’ their child’s name or not.
I like Theodore best from your list, especially with Teddy for a nn. August is nice too, even more so if you use Gus as his name. Archie and Gus, as mentioned by another commenter would be super cute.
Willem
Angus
Roman
Dylan
Callum
Eamon
Damon
Curtis
Deacon
Xander
Love the suggestions of Griffin and Everett!
Good luck!