Hi Swistle,
My husband and I are struggling to agree on a name for our first daughter. We both have a few guidelines that we don’t want to compromise on.First, his: he wants to name her what we will call her (he has a sister named Katie, not Kathryn or Kaitlin), and he doesn’t like middle names for girls (in his family, girls take their maiden name as a middle name, which is a fine tradition but I don’t think our name (J@rg@ns@n) lends itself to that as nicely as something like, say, Emery or Lee).
Mine: I want a name that will look grown up on a resume, diploma or wedding invitation (I personally think Katie looks silly on formal documents), I love the trendy vintage names but I don’t want something too trendy, and I want a name that is easily pronounced and spelled (my name, Janessa, was constantly written and pronounced as everything from Janice to Jessica. I love having a unique name, but wish the spelling/pronunciation was more intuitive). I’d also like to stay away with names starting with J to avoid last name alliteration, but that’s not a deal breaker.
I want to use Rose as a middle name, after my grandmother. It’s also my middle name. I don’t know whether we’ll use a middle name or not, but just in case I want a first name that sounds good with Rose (which means one of my favorites, Emily, is out, unless we want a horror movie reference in our baby’s name).
Here are some first name options we’ve considered:
Olivia (after his grandmother; I love it but wish it wasn’t so popular. I’ve toyed with “Rose Olivia”, but it’s hard for me to see Rose as anyone except my grandmother)
Abby/Abigail (I prefer the long, he prefers the short)
Hannah (after my great-grandmother. This is what I “wanted to name my daughter” since i was about 12)
Hallie (his sister is having a girl in September and this is her favorite name so we probably can’t use it)
Eliza (he doesn’t like it)
Lydia (I’m not sure if I like it)
Nora
Alexis or Alexandra (he doesn’t want to call her Alex and I’m not a fan of Lexi)
EmmaDo you or the readers have any suggestions? Thank you so much!
Janessa
I find myself quite bothered by your husband’s family’s naming tradition for girls. It seems to me it makes somewhat gross assumptions/presumptions about women and their future plans. I suggest that tradition be stopped right now. Either give middle names to all of your children or none of them, leaving out the assumptions about their future marriage plans and future naming choices. I am finding myself almost too irritated to turn my mind to the rest of the question, as I contemplate your husband’s family deciding this extremely personal thing on behalf of all family women. “Oh, they’ll all get married, and they’ll all choose to take their spouse’s surname, and they’ll all choose to keep their maiden names as middle names, because that’s what WOMEN do in OUR family.” No. Assure your husband that your daughters will still be perfectly free to do the First Maiden Married format he prefers, if they choose to, even if they are given a middle name like their brothers—but this decision belongs to your daughters and not to him. We do not name boys as if they are fully complete at birth, but girls as if they won’t be complete until they are married.
All right, I went and had a cup of tea and a few cookies, and am now ready to face the rest of the question. So I’d say the first decision is whether you will give your children middle names or not. Because you have a middle name (which tells me your husband has personal experience already with the concept that women make their own name choices at marriage, and also makes me wonder why your husband would assume your daughters would follow their father’s naming tradition rather than their mother’s) (I guess I am not QUITE over this topic yet), and because you would like to pass this middle name on to your daughter, and because your husband would like to use middle names for sons, I suggest the middle name decision be “yes,” and I’ll proceed that way for now.
Because your husband doesn’t want to use nicknames but you’d like something non-nicknamey for paperwork, I like Nora, Emma, Rose, and Hannah from your list. All of them COULD be nicknamed by someone determined to do so (Norrie/Nora-dora, Emmie/Em, Rosie/Ro, Hannah-banana), but it’s not the same as, say, Abigail/Abby or Kathryn/Katie. If Hannah is your long-term favorite and your husband loves it too, then Hannah Rose seems like a wonderful choice.
I also think Olivia is great. Again, potentially nicknameable (Liv, Livvie), but not like naming someone Margaret only to get the name Meg. It’s fairly common, yes, but it’s such a pretty name, and the family connection feels well worth it to me. I love how either Olivia Rose or Rose Olivia gives her the names of great-grandmothers from both sides of the family. Both are wonderful choices.
I love Nora for its low nickname potential (I had to stretch to even come up with possible nicknames), and for its vintage charm. I’m not as fond of it with Rose, or with your surname if there is an “or” sound in the first syllable: NOR-a-JOR.
Emma is much better with Rose and with your surname, but it’s even more common than Olivia, and with no family connection.
So my favorites here are Hannah Rose, Rose Olivia, and Olivia Rose—in that order, I think, although so close it was hard to even choose an order. I feel the inclination to stop right there: three great choices, any would be wonderful. But let’s look a little more, just for fun.
If the repeating “or” sound doesn’t bother you (many of these things are purely personal preference), Cora would be a pretty choice.
Cora makes me think of Clara. Clara Rose is beautiful, I think.
Or Sarah. Sarah Rose.
Hallie makes me think of Alice, and yet the two names don’t seem too similar for cousins. Alice Rose.
Or Mallory. Mallory Rose.
Or Ella. Ella Rose.
Hannah makes me think of Anna. Anna Rose.
Willa, maybe. Willa Rose.
Oh, Stella! Stella Rose! I like that a lot.
Or Greta. Greta Rose.
Or Eva, though it may be confused with Ava. Eva Rose. I particularly like that one with your surname.
If Eliza is not quite right, Eloise has similar sounds. I don’t like it as much with Rose, though.
Lydia makes me think of Sylvia/Silvia. Sylvia Rose, Silvia Rose.
My given name is Katie and it has been an issue all of my life. Please, please, please, please don’t name your child what you will call her! It doesn’t give her any options for another nickname or a more formal fallback when she’s grown up.
Also: I love the middle name Rose. It is lovely.
I am the opposite. I was named Kathleen but nicknamed Katie right away. I HATE that I have to write Kathleen on legal documents. I hated the first day of school when Kathleen was called out and kids would turn to me, THAT’s your name? I was never called Kathleen and feel like it isn’t my name. It is a burden for me and confusing for others.
I feel the exact same way! My first name is Cynthia but my parents called me Cindy since birth. Nobody calls me Cynthia and as far as I’m concerned it’s not my name. Why, oh why did they not just name me Cindy??? I made sure that when I had kids that I named them what we were planning on calling them.
I’m in the same boat as you- literally. My legal name is Kathleen and everyone on Earth calls me Katie. However, I actually like having a more formal name to fall back on. I’m in a fairly serious profession and I find that Katie doesn’t sound grown up enough. I still have everyone call me Katie though since it feels more like “me.”
I guess the point of this is that you can’t guess a future child’s preference when it comes to formal names a nick names!
I disagree. I have a name that is always misspelled, and I go by a shortened version of it (Peg). I wanted my children to have names that COULDN’T be shortened or misspelled (Adam and Ryan).
When spelled Abbe instead of Abby, I find it take on a stand alone quality as opposed to a nickname for Abigail quality.
Also, exactly what Swistle said about no middle names for girls issue. I would try to go with a kind “things change with every generation” discussion despite my inclination to be a little more…brash.
I’m drawn to the idea of naming her something you’ve loved forever. I favor Hannah Rose or Hannah Olivia.
I love this whole post. Particularly the tea and cookies part.
I fully agree
Even if you don’t want to get into gender politics with your husband, having a middle name is fun and giving a middle name, especially when you have a family middle name that you’re excited to give, is fun…and who could possibly be against fun?!?!?
Maybe what he’s really worried about is that with a middle name as beautiful and appealing as Rose, poor J@rg@ns@n doesn’t stand a chance, and HIS family heritage will get dropped like a hot potato when she gets married…in which case I’d suggest giving Olivia as a first another chance despite it’s popularity. (Or any other name that would carry the same significance to him).
I will echo the concerns about the no middle names for girls tradition specifically because of the reasoning behind it. Others have stated things eloquently already, so no need for me to repeat, just adding a measure of support and consensus.
Otherwise, I would simply like to put in a plug for Lydia, which is my niece’s name, as meeting many of your criteria. While I anticipated and even planned to call her Lyddie, I find myself in practice calling her Lydia naturally and far more often. I also think it sounds lovely with Rose.
I think Hannah Rose is the clear winner.
Please give Baby Girl a middle name. I couldn’t decide if I should drop my maiden name, move it to the middle and replace my middle name, or keep all my names when I got married. I kept all my names so I have two middles now. It would have been easier to drop my middle name and just have one, but it’s my mom’s and grandma’s middle name and my parents chose it for me. So I kept it.
I have two sisters and one brother and my brother is the only one of us who has a middle name, for exactly the reason your husband’s family gives. I have always been resentful of this. It backfired in my family because the two of us girls who are married have not changed our last name (partly out of stubbornness at the assumption that we WOULD), so we still don’t have middle names. Please don’t let this be the reason your daughter doesn’t get a middle name.
I feel like Hannah is as popular as Olivia, at least where I live. But they are both lovely names. You could also consider Olive, which is similar but less popular. My daughter’s name is Rose, so of course I think that is also a lovely name.
True story, I had a friend in college whose given name was Katie. She is a lawyer and when she got married, she changed her first name to Kate because she felt that she was not being taken seriously by senior lawyers in the firm when she had to sign legal documents Katie. On the other hand, I also have a friend whose given name is Jenny and it has never been an issue for her. In general, though, I am a huge fan of having options for nicknames when it comes to naming. We mostly call my daughter Rosie, but even at 3 she knows her real name is Rose and she will answer to both.
Some other old timey names that I like are Martha, Arabella, Jane, Eva/Eve, Fiona, Helen, Hilda, Frances.
Good luck!
Swistle is a genius, as always! I found myself so bothered by the husband’s presumptions about the middle name that I had trouble taking his side on any of his choices!
If a girl gets married and wants to take her maiden name as a middle name, she can just drop her middle name and have her maiden name fill the middle spot. That is what I did. However, that should be her choice. I think NOT giving a girl a middle name is just no fun. Girls like choices.
Hannah Rose is beautiful. So is Olivia Rose. I love them both.
I was married 2 years ago and dropped my middle so I’m Helena Maiden Married. It was no sweat at all at the Social Security office. I could have become Helena Middle Married if I wanted with equally minimal sweat. The idea that keeping the middle spot open to make it easier when she’s married just doesn’t hold water (if she marries and if she wants to make name changes, of course). Plus, how can someone who wrote into a baby name site bear to not use a name slot! The horror! :-)
Interestingly, though, I grew up in the South and all the married ladies I knew were First Maiden Married. I just thought that’s what women did until I moved to the north and no one had heard of it!
Also chiming in to vote for Hannah Rose and to voice my displeasure with that no-middle-names-for-girls tradition. UGH. I had to step back and think “OK, this is a probably just a tradition that probably hasn’t been seriously evaluated in a few generations and PROBABLY NOT a deliberate and conscious relegation of women as incomplete property objects.” Now I need some tea as well.
Yup. What Alison said. The whole no middle name for girls thing really grates me. Your husband needs to spend some time reflecting on this to understand why it is so wrong. Especially important if he is raising children – don’t want to be passing archaic sexist views along to another generation.
Oh my heck I just can’t even deal with your husband’s reasoning for the no-middle-name situation and that sure wouldn’t fly in my household. If I were a girl in his family who hadn’t been given a middle name specifically so that I would move my maiden to my middle name and take my husband’s surname…. I would drop my maiden name altogether if I got married. Out of spite for a tradition that exists because women used to be treated as the property of their husband or father.
Please give your daughter a middle name, since you obviously want to and the reason for not giving her one is so sexist.
It’s a sexist practice. No amount of tradition or other people doing it can justify it.
I like Alexis a lot. Also Ellery, Valerie, Anne, Sarah, and Tala.
Hannah is lovely and meets most criteria. You have loved the name for years, it is formal for official documents, it is popular but not top 10 like Olivia, and she is likely to be called by her full name. Also, it flows well with your last name.
I really like Hannah Rose so if you work out the middle name issue in your favor, I would go with that.
What about a double barrel name that she is called? Anna-Rose, Rosanna, Mary Rose, etc
I would only agree to the no middle name on a couple of conditions- 1) only sons we had would also have no middle name; and 2) the first would be my choice since I would not get to pick a middle name.
This is off topic but I just want to say, I named my daughter Janessa Rose! I seldom hear the name Janessa. How fun to hear of someone else with that name. I hope your baby naming dilemma works out.
Kris
I only know a handful of Janessa/Jenessas, but no other Janessa Rose! How fun. I love my name and I hope your daughter does too!
Please give your daughter a middle name. For all of the reasons that have already been stated. And think of your daughter too. Is that really the way you want to start her life? By not giving her a middle name precisely for the reason that she’ll maybe someday marry and take her husband’s last name? I see no problem with not giving your daughter a middle name, it’s the reason that bothers me. If she doesn’t get one, no future sibling should either. Please don’t send your daughter the message that she isn’t complete without some future man who may be in her life. She’ll be a 100% complete human being just like any boy. Treat her as such. And Hannah Rose is a lovely name. It’s beautiful.
Swistle synchronicity! Just today I was thinking about this very issue– no middle names for daughters– because I know a family that follows the same practice, and it just makes me SO ANGRY. In that case, the mother actually referred to her daughter’s birth surname as “a placeholder” and implied it was meant to be her her true middle name if all went well in her life. (“Going well” meaning marrying, etc.) Such a “tradition” is reactionary, oppressive, and just plain wrong. I hope your husband simply hasn’t examined his own family’s practices and doesn’t truly believe in everything such a tradition implies (that a woman belongs to her father, until she belongs to her husband; that keeping her maiden name or never marrying is inconceivable; there are other connotations, I could go on.)
And, not to dig in at your husband too much, though he doesn’t come across so well in your letter, what is his problem with having a full formal name on the birth certificate? If you’d prefer it (and I agree with you, it is extremely helpful in the long run to have something more serious to fall back on), then he should really back off. It’s a very easy compromise.
But back to the name question itself– Hannah Rose is very sweet, though quite common in terms of a combination. Olivia Rose is very common too.
If I can, I’d like to encourage you to consider Rose as a first name. I know you said you can’t imagine it on anyone but your grandmother, but Rose J—-son has a really lovely flow. (Better than Hannah J—–son). Rose is also quite uncommon in the first name slot, and so versatile and classy.
Rose Olivia or Rose Hannah would be gorgeous.
Do you like Rosie as a nickname? Maybe that would distance it from your grandmother a little.
Also, if it helps at all– I don’t get the “Emily Rose” horror movie connection. I know someone who goes by Emily Rose as well, and she’s never mentioned it.
Good luck, and please please please update us.
My parents both grew up in “no middle name for girls” families, and so neither my sister or I have middle names. I wanted a middle name my entire life, and I currently use First Maiden Married.
Yeah, let’s just say that both my daughter and my son have middle names, and it was never a question of whether or not my daughter would have one. My sister only has a boy so far, but is also planning to use middle names with all of her children.
Hannah Rose and Olivia Rose are both fantastic!
Rose is such a beautiful middle name I want to use it for baby number 4 but unfortunately Ive used family names for all my other children’s middle names and Rose is not a family name! So I think your very lucky to have this option. I think Hannah Rose is perfect and it would be lovely to give your daughter a name you have loved for a very long time.
I also love Nora which is on my current baby name list and can I suggest Edith (nn Edie) Edith Rose is very sweet!
Good luck
I concur with all of the above reasons (and especially love how Swistle handled it) regarding the no middle name scenario. I also find a middle helpful in cases of mistaken identity, for another reason. (But mostly because that is silly to do for just girls.). (PS since it is a female “tradition” then his sister gets to carry it on anyway, not the male)
I’m also one of those who has the rule that the name on the birth certificate is the one they generally go by, and Hannah just fits that brilliantly. And I think would be adorable on a baby girl. Hannah Rose is just great. I used Lucy.
For the record, I’m an Alexis that goes by….Alexis. Others outside my family tried to label me as Ali or Lex or Alex but Alexis it was and Alexis it’s been. I DO have an original quirky family nickname, as kids will tend to earn on their own. I think Alexis didn’t lend itself to shortened versions as easily as Alexandra, maybe, but either way if you love the name without the nn, go for it!
I think everyone has chimed in on the sexist aspect of the letter quite enough, so moving along to names…
Rose, Hannah, & Olivia are the standouts for me. They are meaningful, but also, none have true nicknames (i.e. Meg for Margaret as Swistle said).
Would you consider a mash-up: Roseanna Olivia? Oliviana Rose?
So… I have to add in my two cents about the middle name problem. I completely agree with Swistle and that if you don’t agree with your husband’s family middle naming-tradition then absolutely do not compromise on this one. It is a lot of pressure to put on your girl(s). What if they don’t want to put their maiden name into their middle name spot but feel so much pressure to do it? That’s an awful feeling going into a (potential) wedding when it should just be happiness. I don’t know. I don’t agree with that. What I would do, personally, is give all your kids a middle name and if/when they get married, they can put their maiden name as a second middle name IF THEY CHOOSE, but don’t feel pressured to. Both my kiddos have two middle names, one to honour each side of our family) and we haven’t run into any issues at all with it.
I know you aren’t crazy about first names starting with a “J” because of the last name starting with “J” but what about Juliet/Juliette? For some reason, I happen to think Juliette J@rg@ans@n sounds fabulous (and I’m not a cutesy-type of person). My daughter’s name is Juliet and we just absolutely love her name. We call her Juliet. From day one we told all family members that we do not want to use the shortened name Julie and it has never come up once, 4 years later. I’m sure as she gets older, she’ll have friends that will call her Jules but it isn’t an official shortened name that she would likely use, rather will keep with the Juliet. I think with your last name, I prefer the spelling Juliette just to balance the length a bit. Juliette Rose or Juliette Olivia are both beautiful names.
If you are able to get around Rose as a first name, I know you currently see your grandmother as being the only one, then I would recommend using Rose in the first name position. Rose Olivia is so beautiful. Rose as a first name is much less common then Olivia. That being said, I also agree with Swistle that with the family connection to the name Olivia, in my mind isn’t doesn’t really matter that it is quite popular. Olivia Rose is also a beautiful name. I don’t think you could lose with either combination (Olivia Rose or Rose Olivia).
Other First names:
Brigette
Lucy
Willa
Stella
Ada
Nora
Margo
Violet
Ruby (but then this throws out using Rose as a middle name)
Another thought:
What is your maiden name? Is it something that would be usable for a middle name? If so, that is a neat way to honour you and your side of the family since the last name is always the dad’s side of the family.
Good luck and keep us posted!
A was thinking Greta, which Swistle mentioned.
For what it is worth, I have a middle name and added my maiden name as a second middle name when I got married. So your daughters could potentially have a middle name and still enact your husband’s family’s naming tradition IF they get married and so choose to. Pointing out this possibility to your husband might help him see that you can both (potentially) still have what you want if you give your daughter a middle name (and they then marry and choose to change their surname).
Let’s also acknowledge that your husband might not be suggesting keeping the tradition from a sexist/patriarchal viewpoint, but possibly just thinking that it is a shame that if his daughter were to marry and choose to change her name, it is a shame that the heritage of her maiden name is otherwise lost. He might not have considered or thought of the other issues that go with it, and this would be particularly easy to do with a family tradition with which you have grown up and had no reason to question. In other words, perhaps he just hadn’t thought of it from a feminist perspective, despite possibly otherwise having feminist attitudes to raising a daughter. With that said, I agree with the issues raised with the reason for not giving a middle name outlined by Swistle and others above.
This is a good point. I can even picture the original intent of the tradition being to defiantly observe that a woman might feel a permanent claim on her maiden name, rather than wanting to ditch it the minute she got married. At this point, when significantly more progress has been made on such issues, it is a tradition requiring medicinal tea and cookies for recovery—but at the time the tradition was begun (especially if it were begun back when it was a genuine surprise if a woman didn’t marry), it may even have represented a rather advanced feminist attitude for its time. If that is the case, perhaps the tradition could be updated to reflect its original spirit: say, by giving children their mother’s maiden name as a middle name.
Thank you for mentioning that. His family’s intent is exactly as you said, keeping the “heritage,” and while I respect that idea, neither my maiden name nor my married name fit my idea of what a girl/woman’s middle name should be, so I’m all for letting that tradition end with my daughter. I should have worded this letter much differently and am definitely feeling regret now based on the righteous indignation I’m reading here. For the record, my husband is the least sexist person I know, even if his family is very “traditional.” I almost wish I could delete this entire post, except I do appreciate the advice.
Moving along, thank you for the name suggestions! I’ll write back after she’s born to report what we chose.
Woah, whatever tradition lies behind the no middle name for girls policy, I’m horrified! That is so incredibly sexist. A girl isn’t compete until she’s married? I’m livid. To think that in this day and age people would still think like that! So if the girl doesn’t marry when she’s grown she’s failed somehow? Incomplete when room was specifically left for that purpose? I’m upset beyond tea and cookies!
I will very strongly 2nd everything Swistle said about the middle name issue. It just seems so very sexist to assume all the women in a family will want to get married and follow that tradition. It also strikes me as very sexist that anyone would assume the naming traditions of your husband’s family should be used over the naming traditions of your family. My opinion is her middle name should be Rose. If she wants to follow the tradition of your husband’s family, she can make that choice when she’s adult if/when she gets married.
I think names like Eliza, Emma, Hannah & Nora seem spot on for your situation. Keeping to names that are short & sweet, but still recognizable as full given names seems like the approach for you. I love Swistle’s suggestions of Clara & Alice. I’ll add Fiona, Lucy, Tessa, Hazel & Margo.
I know Olivia is fairly high in popularity rankings, but there is not a single on in my daughter’s large infant/toddler classroom. There are two Roses, though (my daughter is one of them). TI think it’s perfect. You have the Liv/Livvie nn, it sounds both contemporary and vintage, it’s sweet AND spunky. Olivia Rose is perfection.
Hannah is also great — I know several Hannahs in middle/high school, but no baby Hannahs. And every single Hannah I have ever known has been a sweetheart. Hannah Rose? Can’t really go wrong.
Both Hannah and Olivia sound great with your last name, too.
Stick with what you love.
I think Hannah as a first name fits both your criteria and that of your husband, and it’s the name you’ve always wanted to name a daughter. Plus it flows well with the surname. To me, it’s the perfect one. As for the middle name issue, I agree that not using a middle name because on your husband’s family tradition is not the way to go. If you don’t use a mn, it only serves that tradition, which your daughter may not even buy into whereas giving her a mn gives her lots of options (keeping the middle, having two, dropping one for the other). Maybe your husband can think of Rose as a ‘placeholder’ mn that she can switch out later. So your daughter can still follow the tradition (if she so chooses) and still have a mn as a child. He doesn’t need to know that you (and all of us) are hoping she ignores the tradition. It’s all about the spin. :) I say go with Hannah Rose!
Well said, Swistle, well
My mom always talked about names with 3 variations: the family or baby name (Kimmie for me, my grandfather still uses it,) the soccer field name (See Kim! Kim’s open!) and the one you use when you’re the President (Kimberley, although the co-op preschool board is as close as I’ll come.) Lots of choices, depending on who the child turns out be. Hannah works on all 3 levels :-)
I come from a family of five girls, now four of us are married, and every single one of us has approached the name change in a different way. We all were given middle names, and as of now the oldest is first-middle-maiden, i am first-middle-maiden hyphenated with married, younger is first-middle-married, and youngest is first-middle-maiden as second middle-married. SO I say, let the decision be your daughter’s and not yours!
I wanted to echo an earlier comment that Hannah and Olivia are equally as common where I live, if not Hannah feels more popular. I love the name Olivia Rose.
Also, I abandoned my middle name completely for my maiden name when I was married. I am from a generation of all girls, so no one would carry on my family’s name. My preference would be to give her a middle name but not keep the tradition a secret so she can make an informed choice on her own, if and when that time comes.
**adding that when I say no one would carry on my maiden name, that isn’t meant to diminish our choice in the matter – we all happened to choose to take our husband’s names.
I don’t think your husband is completely bonkers with putting the name you actually want to call your child on the birth certificate. Two of my kids have names which could be considered nicknames on their birth certificate. Mostly because we did not like the long versions, and wanted them called by the name we had chosen.
But, I also think you may be over thinking the nicknames situation. As long as you do not loathe a nickname, it should be fine to go ahead and use the long name. You call them by the long version, and accept that when they get older they may get called other versions.
I know an Alexandra who goes by Alexandra, and one who goes by Alex. Nothing wrong with actually using the long version.
I think it is actually worth it to discuss this issue with your husband & suss out whether he has other (accidentally or not) sexist ideas about girls before you have one together!
I love for Hannah or Olive.
He’s the least sexist man I know. He’ll be a great father to this and any other little girl we have. Seeing people respond like this makes me wish I hadn’t written at all.
I would like to chime in and say that there can be problems that result from not having a middle name (like forms, applications, and databases that require a middle initial). A friend from college did not have a middle name, and sometimes ran into these issues.
When I got married, I added my maiden name as a second middle name. Before we got married, my husband agreed that any kids we have would have one of my middle names as their middle name. If it’s a boy, he gets my maiden name. Girl gets my original middle name. Since they will be taking his surname (which is mine too, now) this was a way for me to be sure my name would also be included somehow. Plus, now that I’m pregnant we only have to come up with one name instead of two!
Anyway, it’s possible for a daughter to have a middle name AND still keep their maiden name if she was to get married! :-)
I don’t have any suggestions but I am not bothered at all by the sounds in “Nora Rose”. It reminds me of a friend I have named Laura Rose, and her name has never bothered me. Personal preference, I guess.
Good luck & congratulations!
Thank you for all the suggestions, Swistle and commenters! I still love Hannah and Olivia, and I like many of the other options as well. His grandmother’s name is actually Olive, but we both like Olivia better as a way to honor her. Our last name has an “er” sound instead of an “or” sound, so Nora still works. Cora, however, wouldn’t work since my only sister is Cara and that’s too similar for my small family. Anna is his favorite, and close to Hannah, so we’re considering that.
I really should have worded the letter differently, but my husband is not at all sexist, although his naming ideas do appear that way. It’s more an attempt to honor the family heritage than saying a woman isn’t complete without a man (as a woman who married later in life and has a thriving career/masters degree/etc., I definitely don’t subscribe to that theory and wouldn’t have married anyone who did). I had no problem dropping my maiden name when I married, but I know every woman sees things differently. I plan on giving our daughter a middle name, probably Rose, and letting her know she’s welcome to do whatever she wants with it later in life.
Anna Rose is lovely!
I’d also like to suggest Elise. Elise Olivia perhaps?
All the best!