Dear Swistle,
I am almost 34 weeks pregnant with our second daughter. She is scheduled to arrive via c-section on 9/15/14. Our last name is Ronsen with a J, it is Norwegian.
Our first daughter is named Charlotte Mae. Mae is also my paternal grandmother’s middle name, and after we had chosen it, we found it is also the middle name of one of my mother-in-law’s grandmothers. Charlotte was not nearly as popular in 2010 when we chose it as it has become.
We did not know her sex until her arrival, so had she been a boy, her name would have been Matthew William (Father in law’s middle name is also William).Husband wants to continue the idea of a family middle name. He thinks that this time the middle name should come from his side since it “just worked out” that last time the middle name was on both sides. I disagree because the baby has his last name, so I don’t think we automatically have to throw out middle names from my family since the last one was technically from my family.
I love:
Emeline (He pronounces with long i, I prefer with short i. I am not sure which of us is correct, or if another spelling would get the short i sound)
Annelise (He suggested Annabelle, but I don’t like Annabelle)
Caroline (He rejected last time, but I still have love in my heart for this name)
Catherine (I am not sure if I like the flow of this with our last name, but it is a long time favorite of mine)He has suggested:
Sarah (I don’t hate it but I don’t love it either. I feel like it is too plain with Charlotte)
Susan (No, just no)
Emily (Too popular for my taste- this is his suggestion in response to Emeline)
Erica (To me, Erica is a mom name- I have a co-worker named Erica and friends from college named Erica).Family middle names:
Kay (my middle name, my mother’s middle name)
Elaine (my grandmother’s middle name)
Jane (my grandmother’s middle name)
Elizabeth (his grandmother’s middle name)
Matilda (his grandmother’s middle name)
Louise (a name that appears on his family tree)I come from a large family, and we have large circle of friends, so the following that could have been contenders are already in use:
Emma, Madelyn, Grace, Audrey.
I don’t care for alliterative names, so despite the fact that I love Josephine, I don’t want to use it.
We are not nickname people, so the baby will be called by her first name, so we wouldn’t name her “Elizabeth” and call her “Liz” or “Beth” for example.Thank you!
Your husband’s list could indeed use a little freshening up. Erica is a Mom Name; Susan is a Grandma Name; Emily is still used but has passed its long, long peak. Sarah has potential, I think. I agree it seems a little plain with Charlotte; but on the other hand, for me it spins Charlotte from “We chose a fashionable name” to “We chose an old-fashioned classic.” If you used Sadie as a nickname for Sarah, I think you’d have a very nice pairing—but you’d prefer not to use nicknames, so I agree it sounds like this is not the right choice.
Would it help to make the name Sarah a little longer? Something like Saralyn or Sarah Grace? I wonder if Serena or Sabrina would work. I particularly like Sabrina: Charlotte and Sabrina. Serenity comes to mind, but doesn’t feel quite right to me with Charlotte.
Seraphina/Serafina is a possibility. The popularity gap displeases me a little, but it’s similar to Sarah from your husband’s list while being more up-to-date. It also reminds me of Josephine.
I pronounce Emeline with a long-I. The different ways to pronounce it is definitely part of the package deal of this name. We did a post on it awhile back, and it appears there are three ways to pronounce it: long-I, long-E, and short-I. I wish I’d done a poll back then so we could see what the percentages were, but the short version is that you’d have to be okay with regularly correcting the pronunciation and hearing it pronounced incorrectly. If you want the short-I sound, I’d recommend spelling it Emelyn or Emmalyn (3 syllables, similar to Evelyn and Madelyn), or Emlyn (2 syllables).
Evelyn would be another good option, in fact. Charlotte and Evelyn.
Because you like Annelise and he likes Susan, I wonder if Susanna/Susannah would be a good fit. I think it’s wonderful with the name Charlotte.
I might also consider going straight to Anna. You could then call her all the Anna- names (Annelise, Annabel) as fun casual pet names for her.
Caroline and Catherine both seem like good choices. It’s worth bringing up Caroline again even if he rejected it last time: I put William’s name on our second-baby name list even though Paul rejected the name the first time—and Paul picked it immediately. I think Catherine is very nice with your surname.
I agree that middle names from both sides of the family should still be in the running, though I do like the idea of leaning toward one from your husband’s side this time. I would say I agree with both of you: I agree with him that Charlotte’s middle name honors your side of the family (the connection on his side is not only coincidental but remote), but I also agree with you that using his family’s surname is part of the equation. So overall, I’d prefer to pick a name from his side, but wouldn’t say it must be from his side or that names from your side should be automatically excluded from consideration. It would be nice if an equivalent to Mae could be found: a name that was used on both sides of the family.
I like the idea of using Kay, since it’s your mother’s middle name and yours. I can’t decide if I like it or not that Mae and Kay are so similar. Are you hoping to have more children? Would Mae/Kay make you feel like you had to choose a third similar name for a third daughter?
The similar endings of your favorite names (-line, -lise, -line, -rine) seems like a good place to look for more options:
Adeline
Corrine
Elise
Evelina
Gwendolyn
Jocelyn
Because your husband likes the names Sarah and Erica and you like Caroline, I might keep my ear out for more options with that “air” sound. Wait, that makes me think of a great one: Clara. It sounds like Erica and Sarah and Caroline. It’s vintage revival like Charlotte. I love it. Charlotte and Clara.
Name update!
Hi Swistle,
The day before her arrival, we finally agreed on a name for our baby girl. Daddy couldn’t go into the delivery room without a name, so over our last dinner out we hashed it out.
Thank you to you and your readers for your suggestions.
Susannah Kay arrived on September 15, 2014 at 10:32 AM.
We couldn’t love her (or her name!) more.
I have four daughters all of whom have family names as first and middle with three being named Carolyn, Catherine, and Emmeline, so I offer my experience with pronunciation:
Catherine is the only one people consistently get right. Carolyn is often pronounced with the long “i” – even by people who know our family and the spelling well. Emmeline (we use a long “i”) is sometimes pronounced as “Emma-lynn” and sometimes as “Emma-leen” but most often as “Emma-line.” We live in the Southeast and that might encourage more of the long vowel pronunciation (maybe that explains the Carolyn/Caroline thing?).
I do believe there is an AA Milne poem that supports your preferred pronunciation of Emmeline. Perhaps you could refer to that when introducing her, if you were to choose that name.
Susannah was the first solution that popped into my mind, too, and I love Clara. I know sisters named Charlotte and Grace. I think that’s good pairing. Or how about Lydia?
Susannah Elaine
Lydia Elizabeth
Clara Jane
Grace Louise
LW responding:
Grace was long a favorite name of mine until my husband’s parents named their (still living) dog Gracie. So unfortunately that is also on the no-go list.
Oh, and I meant to say I agree it’s worth asking about Caroline again if you haven’t yet and I think Catherine Ronsen-with-a-J sounds fine.
I think Charlotte and Clara sound right together.
Charlotte Mae and Clara Louise
Susanna(h) immediately came to mind when I was reading your letter, so I agree with Swistle on that suggestion — it’s by far my favorite of all the names mentioned, and I love it as a sister to Charlotte. It’s a great name on its own without a nickname, but if you did want a nickname, Anna is a good one, especially since you like Annelise. It’s nice too that it’s connected to your husband’s like of Susan (in fact, my mom was named Susanne because her dad wanted Anne and her mom wanted Susan). Susanna Kay and Susanna Jane are my favorite combinations of the middle name options you listed.
Though I love Caroline, I would caution against your using it because both it and Charlotte are feminine forms of Charles. In my mind it would be similar to brothers James and Jacob, or sisters Isabelle and Elizabeth.
I do also love the suggestions of Lydia and Clara, and Catherine and Emmeline (I prefer the long-i pronunciation) from your list.
Your point about Charlotte and Caroline both being feminines of Charles was exactly what I came here to post! I was wondering if anyone else knew/would notice. I know I can be a wee bit nitpicky about names!
LW here. I know that Charlotte and Caroline are both feminine of Charles, that’s one of the things holding me back on it.
Ha, my husband says I’m crazy for “thinking that Anna and John are ‘the same name.'” Not the same, exactly–just…redundant.
I really like Lydia!
I agree with you that middles from your side have “more weight” so to speak, because the children are already getting his last name. But more important than which side the name comes from, is flow to me.
I would definitely pick a first name and then see which middle names “fit.” There may be one clear choice with the decided first name.
I like the suggestion of Seraphina.
Annelise always makes me think of the girl who got exorcised (the real name of the girl in the movie, the exorcism of emily rose).
Would you consider Savannah rather than Susannah? Savannah seems a bit more romantic/elegant to me, while Susannah seems more old-lady revival.
I would also throw out Violet.
Charlotte Mae and Savannah Kay?
Savannah could be cute with Charlotte. They are both city names so it would give it a different feel.
You might be able to balance the question of whose family should be honored by picking a first name that’s a less direct honoring of one of your families. For example, Catherine Matilda (which I really really like) would take Matilda from his side, and then Catherine is a long form of Kay from your side. Or you could flip it and do something like Willa or Eliza Jane.
Or maybe Elle or Ella in the middle could be a way of honoring both Elizabeth and Elaine?
Sadie instantly stood out to me, as a proper name, not nickname. It seems a nice mix of tastes and Sadie Jane is to die for. Charlotte and Sadie… love!!
Have you thought about Linnea? It’s quite popular in Norway & would go wonderfully with your last name, as well as coordinating well with Charlotte.
I also like the suggestions of Evelyn, Susannah, Anna, or using Matilda as a first name. And Catherine, I just don’t think you can ever go wrong using Catherine. Unless you aren’t partial to both of their names starting with “C”.
I think Linnea is such a beautiful name and I love the children’s book about Monet’s garden.
What about Emilia or Amelia? That might be a good compromise between Emily and Emeline. My favorite name from your list is Caroline, from his, Sarah.
I also love Emeline/Emmeline (I pronounce it emma-leen – long E). If you like the short i sound then I agree with Swistle that if you altered the spelling to Emelyn then there will be less of a pronunciation issue then if you spelt it the typical Emeline way. I am a very visual person so I would personally choose having to correct pronunciation over changing the way the name is spelled as I think Emeline/Emmeline looks lovely.
If you husband like Emily and you like Emeline what about Emelia?
I LOVE the suggestion of Seraphina. I think it is a perfect middle ground between your husbands Sarah and your love for Josephine.
I would bring up Caroline again if your heart still loves it. Just because it wasn’t “perfect” when Charlotte was born, doesn’t mean it can’t be perfect now.
What about using a family name for a first and a middle? Do you like Louise or Matilda or Elizabeth? If so, then you could use one of these as a first and Kay as a middle? Then you can use a name from both sides.
As a group, I certainly prefer the names you love to those that your husband has suggested.
I really like Caroline and Catherine. The only drawback I see is that rtwo daughters would have the same first initial. I personally would be fine with that but I don’t know how you feel about it.
I am not a fan of Emeline at all. I can see why you might like Emeline as a compromise alternative to Emily but I just don’t like the look or potential pronunciation proplems.
My favorite option for you of the names you love is Annelise. I like the sound of it with your last name and think Annelise Kay or Annelise Elizabeth would be lovely. I also like the fact that it has a double letter which is a nice, subtle tie in with sister Charlotte.
As for your husbands suggestions, perhaps the compromises Swistle and others have suggested might work.
Serephina ( instead of Sarah) works well with Charlotte. I do like the S sound at the beginning that ties in with the s in your last name.
Susannah (instead of Susan) has the same classic style as Charlotte as well as the S beginning sound and the double letter connection.
Alexandra (instead of Erica) is more classical and seems to fit better with Charlotte.
Some other names to consider that work well with your last name and are classical like Charlotte are:
Amelia, Hannah, Lillian, Estelle
Kathleen comes to me as an option. Charlotte and Kathleen have a beautiful ring to it. Kathleen came to me as a mix of you and your moms middle name Kay and your preference of Catherine and Emeline. I think most of your middle names would fit nicely with this name.
I also love the suggestion of Evelyn.
For me, Emeline is like Caroline in that it can be “line” or “lynn.”
From your list, my favorites are Annelise and Caroline. I lean more towards Annelise with Charlotte because I generally prefer not to repeat initials. From your husband’s list, I quite like Sarah and I don’t find it too plain with Charlotte at all. I agree that Sarah makes Charlotte lean more classic/timeless vs. trendy vintage revival.
Another way to settle the middle name debate could be based on which first name you use. For example, if you agree to Sarah, I think you should get a larger say in the middle name. If your husband agrees to Caroline, he’d get more say in the middle.
I also noticed that several of your middle name options seem to fit your overall style. Would you consider using any of them as first names? Jane, Elizabeth, Matilda & Louise could all work well with Charlotte.
I’ll suggest (or 2nd) Vivian, Adele, Amelia, Adelaide, Evelyn, Eleanor, Hannah, Gabrielle & Julia.
A couple of options that spring to mind from your lists:
Annika Jane. A bit like Erica and a bit like Annaliese, goes well with the Scandinavian surname. Charlotte and Annika.
Eloise Kay or Eloise Jane. Similar sounding to Annaliese, also covering the Louise in his family tree, leading to a middle name from your side of the family. Charlotte and Eloise.
I also like the suggestion of Susannah. For me personally I would get tongue tied with sisters Charlotte and Clara, and probably call then Sharla and Claret.
Good luck.
What about Sybil? Sybil Ronsen. Charlotte and Sybil. I also like the combo of Matilda Jane. Perhaps using two family name would table the discussion. Charlotte and Matilda are a SUPER adorable pairing for sisters.
What about Abigail, Alexandra, Amelia, Eleanor, or Hannah? I like the suggestion of Evelyn too with Charlotte. Maybe Vivienne? I think Emmeline is beautiful but the multiple pronunciations makes me crazy. If I were to use a name like that I would be sure to agree with my husband on “the right” pronunciation and have to let the constant askings not bother me (I don’t know if I could do that!)
I also thought about the Charlotte/Caroline connection. I have an Elizabeth and the thought of an Isabelle with it makes me crazy but I know it wouldn’t bother most people. That said, Caroline is one of my absolute favorites and I think I’m going to use it on my baby girl!
Oh, I particularly love Charlotte and Vivienne
Can I put in another vote for Susannah? It’s such a lovely possibility.
I know you don’t like nicknames, but Susannah also offers an abundance of them– including two of my favorites, Zuzu and Sunny. Sanna is also cute, as is Susie, Sukie, or Annie/Anna.
Charlotte and Caroline are a little matchy-matchy to my ear. If you go on to have a third child, will you feel compelled to use another C name?
I disagree, too, that Sarah is very plain next to Charlotte. I think Sarah is quite pretty and strong, and also a classic that is currently not phenomenally popular. My only hesitation with Sarah J—-n is that I imagine there are plenty of them out there already; it might be a bit ungoogle-able as a name. But that might not be a drawback for you if you are the sort of people who prefer privacy. Catherine and Emily also have this issue.
Just putting this out there…
Looking at your family names on both sides…
Matilda Kay
And Charlotte and Matilda sounds great too.
I know Matilda isn’t on your first names list but it was just a thought…good luck xx
I also thought of the name Frances. It’s sort of from left field, but I think it’s an underused classic and quite nice with Charlotte.
Could we be part of the same family? Mom’s name is Kay, aunt is Jane, sister is Caroline, two cousins Sarah and Susan, my middle name is Elizabeth, and I have a daughter named Emmeline (we pronounce with long I, but name came from husband’s grandmother who pronounced it with a soft I). So I feel very connected to your naming dilemma. I did want to suggest one other name that hasn’t been mentioned yet- Lucy. I think Charlotte and Lucy make an adorable sibset. But you have so many wonderful names to work from on your list I feel like you can’t go wrong. If you go with Emeline or Emelyn, I agree with previous posters, people will mispronounce, and misspell, her name all the time. Sometimes, if it’s someone we’ll never see again, I don’t even bother to correct, but an easy tactic I’ve taken to using is saying “we pronounce it Emmeline, rhymes with fine.” I think it helps people to remember. If you go soft I, you could say ‘it’s Emelyn, rhymes with win.” Either way it’s a beautiful name. Please let us know what you end up choosing! I’m rooting for Emeline Jane.
All-of-a-Kind Family is a set of children’s books about a family of five sisters: Ella; Henrietta (Henny); Sarah; Charlotte (Lottie); and Gertrude (Gertie). I loved those books as a kid, and especially loved Sarah who was a bookworm like me.
So when you said Charlotte and Sarah, I immediately thought of them!
So how about Henrietta or maybe Harriet? Or going to the Brontes, perhaps Anne or Bronwyn? Or Margaret? Rosalyn?
Rosalie or Rosaline?