Hi! We are expecting a baby any time now actually.. Due date is July 17th. My husband has two children/I have two step children. They are Henry James and Nora Isabel. Last name is Hussey. We seem to be leaning towards something traditional in keeping with the other children’s name.
I don’t really like names that are easily converted to a nickname, and especially not one where the assumption from the start is that we have named the child one thing with the intent of just going by a nickname anyway. Of course I understand people’s tendency to shorten names anyway.
We don’t know if we are having a girl or boy so have chosen both. My husband is quite happy with the choice of Elliot for a son. I was too until I made the big mistake of sharing this with a friend who immediately said “Elliot smelliot”. Now that has turned me off. I really like Nate. My concern is if he’ll be asked constantly when he’s older whether that’s short for something. We are thinking middle name of James after my husband & his grandfather. I think it’s fine if two siblings share a middle name. Correct? Brody is another consideration but then we wouldn’t go for James as a middle name (BJ!). Also, do you think Elliot James is just asking for the nickname EJ? I’d like a name that won’t be considered geeky as he gets older. I like Aidan but my husband does not. I’m mentioning this because neither of us in general like the trend towards Irish names, especially oddly spelled (ie Colm)
For a girl we really like Olivia. My concern is that it seems to be super popular right now. Will there be 10 Olivia’s in her class? We haven’t talked much about middle names but I like Hope since that’s the meaning of my first name (so giving her my name in a way that’s different than directly giving her my name). I also like Leia (pronounced like the princess from Star Wars) but we think she’ll get asked to Spell her name a lot. Or, get her name mispronounced a lot. Other considerations are Sophia (again really popular) and some that I like but I’m not sure my husband does such as Lola, Violet, Parker and Vivian.
I also want to give the child my last name (Bonamin) as a 2nd middle name since I have not changed my last name and feel it would be a nice connection. However, I don’t expect them to use it all the time, especially in general conversation.
Any advice?!
Thanks!
I feel a little mad at your friend who said Elliot-Smelliot. For one thing, it feels to me as if we could do that to many names if we wanted to: Liam-PEEum or Lucas-PUKE-as or Emma-PHLEGM-a or Abigail-FLABigail or Justin-PUStin or Nicholas-DICKolas or Richard-BITCHard or Kristen-PISSten. “Being able to find an unappealing word that rhymes with one of the syllables” is not a reason to strike a name off the list, and it seems like people find rhymes like that when they want to spoil a name for someone else. On the other hand, I understand the impulse: I myself like to warn people if a potential issue jumps out at me, and would myself want to think ahead of time about situations such as Cooper-POOPer.
If it is helpful to have one person’s experience, I took care of an Elliot when I worked in a daycare, and “Ell rhymes with smell” didn’t come up or cross my mind. Granted, I am not speaking from an elementary-school point of view here: infants don’t taunt each other much with name-calling. But still: with the current popularity of Ell- names, if it’s an issue for him at least he’ll be in good company. He and Ellie-Smelly and Isa-SMELL-a can eat lunch together.
The name Elliot seems like a beautiful style match with Henry and Nora. The name Brody feels like less of a good fit: modern and surnamey with the two vintage-appeal classics.
I don’t think a Nate would find it a constant overwhelming hassle to be asked if his name was short for something. It would probably come up about as often as I have to clarify that my name ends in -en not -in—which is to say, regularly but not overly often, and not in an way that makes me wish I’d been named something else. Still, Nate seems a little abrupt and nicknamey to me with the sibling names.
Do you like the name Oliver? It feels similar to Elliot. Oliver Hussey; Henry, Nora, and Oliver.
Or the two names I always think of with Elliot are Everett and Emmett. Everett Hussey; Henry, Nora, and Everett. Emmett Hussey; Henry, Nora, and Emmett.
Or Simon would be nice. Simon Hussey; Henry, Nora, and Simon.
Or Ethan. Ethan Hussey; Henry, Nora, and Ethan.
Or I like the name John and I think it gets overlooked. John Hussey; Henry, Nora, and John.
I think it’s fine and even sweet for two siblings to share the same middle name. If Henry is old enough to be asked, I think it would be a good idea to ask him how he feels about it. It could be something that makes him feel more connected to the baby, or it may feel as if the baby is taking something that used to be his.
On a recent post, someone made a comment that assumed that someone with a J- middle name would be called by their first two initials, but it’s not something I’ve encountered. The resulting discussion indicated that it may be a regional thing or a generational thing. I don’t think it would just happen, unless you have a family that is known to do it or you live somewhere where it’s automatically done. Is Henry ever called H.J.? Does anyone else in your circle of friends and family have a J- middle name and a resulting _.J. nickname that came about naturally (rather than because the parents chose it as the nickname)?
There won’t be ten Olivias in her classroom, but the name Olivia has been in the Top 10 since 2001 so you’ll likely encounter a fair number of them over the years. The current usage is at .9562% of new baby girls. This means that approximately 1 new baby girl out of 100 is named Olivia, nationally-speaking. If a classroom has roughly 30 children in it and roughly half of them are girls, this means there is a national average of roughly 1 Olivia per 6-7 classrooms. Regional differences and random chance make it not unlikely that some years she will go by Olivia H. or Olivia Hope, but that seems like it would be fine.
If you’d like something with a similar sound but less popularity, I suggest Lydia.
I notice a lot of v-sounds on your girl list (Olivia, Vivian, Violet), so I’d also suggest Eva, Evelyn, Genevieve, and Silvia.
I understand wanting to use a name that goes with the step-siblings but. I wouldn’t want to be constrained by another women’s naming style. Now traditional may also be your husbands style so I am not suggesting you push for names like River or Echo. but do consider names that you love that may be not be exactly traditional and, if necessary find ways to relate them to their sibling names in other ways.
For example, if you love the name Brody, a surname style rather than traditional, go with it. Brody shares a y ending with his brother and an o and r in the middle with his sister. Further, they all have two syllable names. In this case, I recommend using your maiden name as the only middle name. Brody Bonamin Hussey. (In fact, I might avoid the James and just use your maiden as the middle name for a boy.)
I don’t think Elliot is a problem… I know several under the age of 3. I also know a young Ella and an Eleanor. The likelihood of all the El kids being teased with the smell rhyme is unlikely. I think a more legitimate concern is the popularity of Elliot. Some other possibilities are the brother names of 2 of the Elliot’s I know- Grant and Wyatt. Neither of these have natural nicknames but I expect Wyatt might get shortened to Wy.
Grant James Bonamin Hussey. Or Grant Bonamin Hussey
Wyatt James Bonamin Hussey or Wyatt Bonamin Hussey
I like Nate and I wouldn’t worry much people assuming it is short for something. I know a Beth who does get asked if it is short for Elizabeth but it isn’t a big deal to say no. Nate James seems a bit choppy but if you use Nate Bonamin Hussey that problem goes away. And of course, he would mostly be know as Nate Hussey which sounds fine.
A few other I like with your middle and last names as well as the sibling names are:
Arlo… Arlo James Bonamin Hussey…Arlo Bonamin Hussey…Henry, Nora, and Arlo
Gavin James Bonamin Hussey… Gavin Bonamin Hussey.. Henry, Nora, and Gavin
Jack… Jack Bonamin Hussey… Henry, Nora, and Jack
As for a possible daughter, Olivia and Sophia are lovely … I just know too many of them to seriously consider using either. It is not so much the number they would have exactly their age and potentially in a classroom but the number around the same age. Years from now there are likely to be several Olivia’s and Sophia’s in the workplace environment all around the age of your daughter and people will know roughly her age just by looking at the name .
I think you are right about Leia being misspelled. Leah might work as an alternative. Leah Hope Bonamin Hussey.
Have you considered Hope as a first name? It fits your criteria of no natural nickname. Hope Hussey looks and sounds nice and I like the flow of Hope Bonamin Hussey. There are nice tie ins with sibling Henry (h) and Nora (4 letters).
Oh, I’m a bit mad at your friend, too. I think Elliot is such a nice name and sounds so great with the other kids names! I don’t think the Smelliot thing is a big deal at all.
I notice a strong literary trend in these names: Henry James the classic author; Nora Charles is a famous character from Dashiell Hammett; and Elliot reminds me of George Elliot TS Elliot. I like it for that reason. Also, there won’t be much nicknaming danger.
One last thing, speaking of characters: Olivia Hope sounds a lot like Olivia Pope, from Scandal, just in case you hadn’t considered the similarity. That may be a positive or a negative for you, but wanted to point it out. I’m not sure where you live, but in Brooklyn, my friend whose daughter’s name is Olive has another Olive and an Olivia in her pre-school class, and there are only about 15 kids in it. My daughter has an Olive and an Oliver in her day care, with also about 14 kids. If you like O names for girls, what about Ophelia (literary, though not the greatest associations) or Octavia? Or a personal favorite, Oona? I also really like Livia as an alternative to Olivia, or Lydia as was mentioned before.
I don’t think this has yet been mentioned–Olivia Hussey is the name of the actress who played Juliet in the (I think) 60s version of Romeo and Juliet. I thought of her instantly when I saw your surname, and then of course again when I saw that you were considering Olivia as a first name.
She is a very, very beautiful actress, so the association isn’t what I”d call a negative one, but it’s still something to consider!
Olivia is one of my favorites at the moment. I think it goes perfectly with Henry and Nora. Oliver would also be nice for a boy. I like Elliot, as well as the similar Everett. I love Elijah. For girls, I agree with Swistle’s suggestions of Silvia and Evelyn. Leia is beautiful, but know that she will probably be asked “Like Star Wars?” whenever she meets someone new. I also like Liliah and Leilani (though that is very different from your naming style!). You may also like Eloise and Ella. Best of luck!
I think it’s fine to use James as a M.N. only if you intend to continue this tradition with all future boys. Otherwise it gives the impression that you are either trying to replace the current older son, or do not care enough to consider the fact that this name has already been used. If you do go ahead and use it, position it well when you announce the name (I.e. we wanted all the boys to have the same middle).
I think if I was the older son I would feel replaced. Also, if I was the mother of the older son it would make me feel very concerned that my son was about to be pushed out for the new baby boy. I might be being sensitive, but I think when a new half-sibling arrives, the situation is sensitive and the feelings of your step son are more important than your desire to use James as a M.N.
Also, remember that your step son’s feelings may change over time. He may profess to be fine with it now, but in the future actually doesn’t feel okay about it.
I also agree that this is a sensitive time but I’m assuming that the OP and her husband has discussed this already so it likely wasn’t just her choice.
You can also look at it like they want all their children to be one family rather than separate, and this is a nice way to tie the brothers together. I would perhaps ask Henry about it, and see what he thinks? Maybe he thinks it would be really neat to share a middle name with his new lite brother and dad and grandfather or maybe not. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect someone to change what they would naturally want to do (honour the baby’s father) just because he’s already had a son and the name was already used (as a middle name).
He will share a name with his dad, grandfather and brother because it sounds like they all have the same surname.
Yes it is natural to honor the baby’s father, but here the baby’s father already has been honored when his eldest son arrived and they gave that son the name James as a middle name. I do think it is reasonable to choose a different middle name for your son, on the basis that your already have a son with that middle name. Unless of course you are going to use the same middle name for all sons, I which case it is totally fine of course.
I do, however, completely agree with the comment above that there is no need to have this baby’s name match the older siblings stylistically, it just needs to not clash with the older siblings (e.g. A girl called Nola would be a bad idea).
I also agree… I’m a little upset that your friend would have even said that to you. If you both love Elliot, I wouldn’t even give it a second thought. As Swistle said, kids could find something to tease someone about whether their name somewhat rhymes with a word or not. I would push past this (if you can). The other thing to consider, how would you feel if you didn’t choose this name based on the one comment your friend made? Would you forever regret it?
As for Olivia and Sophia, yes they are quite popular, as swistle said it’s about 1 in 100 so likely not 10 in a class but will be several in a school perhaps. I guess you have to weigh how much you love the name(s) compared to their popularity. Are you willing to give them up just because you may hear another Olivia’s name being called out on the playground?
Unfortunately, all my fabulous recommendations for other names have pretty all been said already, but will say them anyways!!!
Boys:
Oliver. We have an Oliver and we love his name. We’ve had so many positive comments on it. It does lends itself to the nn Ollie but 99.9% of the time we call him by his full name.
Arlo. Also love this name.
Simon.
Jude.
What about Jack? Henry, Nora, and Jack. So cute. Love this.
Or Louis? Or Charles/Charlie?
Girls:
Juliet. Our daughters name. We also love love love this name. So glad we choose it. Once again, it could be shortened to Jules or Ette or Etta but we call her by her full name almost 100% of the time.
Rose or variations. Rosa/Rosetta/ Rosalie/Rosalind.
Ruby.
Lily.
Otelia or Otillia.
Anabel or Annabelle.
Willa.
Good luck and keep us posted!!
On the “is Nate short for something?” Question: I have a friend named Ben, not Benjamin. He not only gets asked if it’s short for Benjamin, people actually assume it is and put Benjamin on forms, etc. this has caused confusion with official records. I think it’s less likely with Nate, but something to consider.
My son’s name starts with C and his middle is James, and a couple of people did try to call him CJ. It could be a regional thing (Texas). I took it as those people not liking his first name and took offense, which made of harder to diffuse the situation and stop it from happening. Ignoring the CJ name and continuing to call him by his first name would have been better.
I love the name Olivia, but I would not suggest using the middle name Hope since the main character on the TV show Scandal is named Olivia Pope. It’s not the worst connection a name could have, but the character does have some traits that you might not want to have associated with your daughter. Perhaps you could give her (if the baby ends up being a “her”!) a different virtue middle name and make that the new tradition–Olivia Joy is especially pretty.
On the subject of popularity, I work with young elementary school students and I know kids named Elliot, Aidan, Olivia, Sophia, and Vivian. (For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen the Elliot I know get called Elliot Smelliot!) The only name I hear often enough to be confusing is Sophia/Sofia, and even then it’s not that big of a deal.
Elliott is fine. I agree with Swistle’s assessment that most names can have something if people try hard enough. I know a few Tuckers who have never encountered the (more) obvious rhyme tease, so I think Elliott would be OK.
If you just can’t do Elliott, I wonder if you would like Eli, Elijah, Everett or Emmett instead?
I’ll disagree with Swistle about Nate. I know a “just K!m” who hates that everyone assumes her name is Kimberly. She’s had govt. agencies & employers kick stuff back to her because they need her “full” name, even though K!m is her full name. Received cards and whatnot from friends & co-workers who assume her full name must be Kimberly. The only plus is that it’s easy for her to eliminate junk mail & sales calls. Nate seems like it could be equally problematic. Would you like something like Jake or Jack? They feel sort of similar to Nate, but are used often enough as stand along names that I don’t think most people would assume they were nicknames.
Olivia & Sophia are very popular right not. And the girl names you like indicate you might be a little bit more daring with girl names than your husband. For names similar to Olivia & Sophia but perhaps less popular I like Julia, Ava, Eliza, Anna. For some that might be just a bit more daring/unexpected perhaps Clara, Isla, Stella, Amelia, Viola. I also thought of Fiona. I know you mentioned not liking Irish names, but you do like Aidan, so maybe Fiona could work?
I have a 1.5 year old named Elliot and I use Elliot Smelliot as a nickname for him when he needs bath or has a dirty diaper. First off, there are silly nicknames for TONS of names and secondly, my son will likely be so used to the nickname that even if kids say it their comment won’t bother him :) if you like it, use it! We thought of the nickname and decided it wasn’t a big enough deal since we loved the name.
Also, I have a friend named Danny – not Dan or Daniel and he just explains that Danny is his full name. Really not an issue that seems to impact his life but yes, something he answers to.
Olivia and Sophia are very beautiful names, that’s why they’re so popular, but I don’t think that should stop you from using Olivia if you really love it.
What about Louisa/Louise or Susanna? Lovely names with the same feel as the names you like. Anna also goes well with Henry and Nora too.
Elliot is a great name, has always been one of my favorites, and I have never thought of ‘Smelliot’ at all. As others have mentioned, you can make a rhyme with any name if you really try, so I believe it to be a non issue. Using James as a middle name is a nice way of tying together family members too.
Nathaniel, nn Nate, would ‘fit’ better with Henry and Nora I think. Nathaniel James Hussey is a ver distinguished name! I’d also like to suggest Jonathan, Thomas, Peter and David. I especially love David!
All the best!
I wouldn’t let your friend’s comment stop you from using Elliot. I call my son Julian Droolian a lot these days thanks to teething. I don’t expect that his peers will call him this but feh – if you try hard neigh you can screw up any name this way.
I think if you want to give another son the middle name James you can only do it if you are going to give it to all your sons. I know a family whose daughters all share the middle name Margaret. Otherwise skip James and just give him your maiden name as the middle
I agree Elliot is the best style match of your three boy candidates and I don’t think the smell rhyme should deter you. I doubt it would be much of an issue. I did like the suggestion of Oliver, though. Or Archer, if you really want to keep that Henry James theme going.
I also wouldn’t avoid Olivia just because of popularity, but if you want another option, how about Ava, Caroline, Jane, or if you don’t mind repeating an initial, Naomi?
I think Elliot is a fine name, but since no body has mentioned it, I want to say I know at least three GIRLS names Elliot (I’d have to rethink some babies on Facebook).
I don’t mind true gender neutral names, and I feel a little less warmly about boy names used on girls and yet I realize this isn’t about me. BUT I know many a mom of a bay who felt unpleasantly surprised when they found out their boy name was turning gender neutral in some circles.
I like Nate quite a lot, and it was a leader on my list for quite some time and I fall into the “who really cares what’s on the birth certificate, might as well use a longer name” so I’d go ahead and put Nathan or Nathaniel on the BC and then not even tell any of the extended family and it would feel like a fun secret.
Elliott James is currently our top choice if our next baby is a boy, so I might be a little biased in saying that you should go with it :)
I agree completely with Swistle that kids can make fun of anything, but there’s a big difference between a name that can be made fun of and a name that will always be made fun of. I think Elliot is in the camp of “can, but won’t always”
I like Olivia for you, too. If you decide that it is too popular, you might like Amelia or Lucy.
Maybe it’s because my kids are Star Wars mad, but I would stay away from Leia as a first name (not sure if you are considering it for first or middle name). I would also not pair it with the name Hope, as the original Star Wars movie is subtitled “A New Hope”. So a baby named Leia Hope would make me think you were an uber-fan or something.
Did you know there is a new Star Wars movie in production? It is scheduled for release at the end of next year (??) so she would be about 18 months old when it came out. And then assuming it was successful and they made more movies it is possible there’d be more movies coming out when she was school aged. And then her name would probably become a big deal among her peers.
I agree with others that maybe Leah or Lilah would be better. Good luck.
On the subject of Leia–maybe this is just me, but spelling it Leya almost completely breaks the SW association for me, and the pronunciation seems clear enough. Eh? (I’d still stay away from Olivia because of the actress Olivia Hussey, but the fact that no one else has addressed that is making me question how well-known she actually is–maybe it’s not as strong an association as I think!)
I would have never thought of Elliott smelliott. It just doesn’t seem to be a big enough reason to dismiss a name you and your husband previously loved. As for Nate, I love it too. My husband is Brad (not Bradley) and the only time he gets asked if Brad is short for Bradely is when he is filling out forms etc. like at the doctors, they will ask him his name, he says Brad, they say short for Bradley? And he says no. That’s not really that annoying. I have two children (girl and boy) and their initials are MJ and LJ – not once has anyone ever referred to them as MJ or LJ. I think that’s the kind of nickname that comes from the parents. Seeing as though we have never called our kids this no one else has thought to either.
I like the name Nate and I also like Elliott. I taught several Elliotts over the years and none was ever called Elliott-Smelliot, at least within my earshot.
Nora Isabel (or possibly Imogen) was our girl name for our last baby. I adore it (alas, we had a boy). Our other living children are Rebecc@ @nn and M@rg@ret Suz@nne. Perhaps that might help?
I’d like to speak to this Elliot concern. I have a nephew Elliot, and I ADORE his name, and he hasn’t had any at school teasing about it at all.
I will say that the main female character on the show Scrubs is named Elliot, and on that show they call her Smelliot. So it’s possible that’s where your friend is coming from. I myself have been known to call our Elliot Smelliot for the same reason.
But…I don’t think you can’t use it because of that. My aunt always talks about how she hates her name (Ellen) because she was teased in grade school by being called “Ellen Shmellon the Watermelon”, which morphed into just calling her Melonface. That’s not the sort of teasing you can control for. I don’t think there’s any inherent problem with Elliot. My name is Jennifer and my older sister used to tease me by calling me Fart-ifer. That doesn’t even rhyme.
My assumption with the name Nate would be that it’s short for either Nathan or Nathaniel. I wouldn’t even ask the Nate in question, I would just assume that was the case.
While it is good to look at your name choices from many angles, I think it is an impossible task to eliminate the chance for nicknames you don’t like. No matter what this kid’s friends and teachers and coaches etc. etc. are going to come up with nicknames you can’t control. Most people I know with lasting nicknames aren’t rhymes of their given name, but a reference to something that happened long ago and only a few people still remember why they were ever given that nickname in the first place. Of course you don’t have to call him by any nickname you don’t like…but trying to control for this eventuality at birth seems like a losing battle!
Wow! Look at this lovely post. A response to my query :) I had my birthday July 3 then a busy 4th then went into early labour on the 5th. That weekend was all consuming and 47 hours later our son arrived! (10 days early by the time he arrived). We ended up going with Elliot Brody. And based on the official response from the site and all your comments I think it was a good choice ;) I’ve certainly received lots of positive feedback on it here at home! We plan to still include my last name as well as that of my husband but I’ve officially told just Elliot Brody at this point.
Ok back to the breast! Night all!