Kelly writes:
Hi, I would really love some help with this.
I’m in the process of changing my name but I’m feeling a bit stuck and was hoping for some suggestions. My name is currently Kelly and I have a European surname my dad is from Germany.
Kelly has never felt right and most people will say after getting to know me that I don’t look like a Kelly and people tend to forget my name. I was meant to be named something more European but my mother didn’t feel happy with this as she was very anglo so I got called Kelly. My mother abandoned me when I was 9 so I don’t feel any ties to her and her name for me. I have disliked my name for a very long time 20+ years and I feel compelled to finally change it after using the name on non important things for some time and feel that it is the right fit for me.
My middle name is Anne so I’m changing my name to Anna which is a nice version of Anne. I’m telling people that I’m going by my middle name and it feels right and they don’t seem to question me but now I’m stuck as to what to use for a middle name. Does Ann sound strange? I was thinking about using a y name as I like the way that it looks as an initial I will be using my initials a lot with my work. I’m in a creative industry so I feel free to do what ever I I choose without much question but I don’t want to find myself feeling regretful after I change it officially. Like a tattoo that is though to be so interesting now but later on what on earth was I thinking!
My most common reaction from people when I tell them that I’m going by my middle name is ok cool, or great or good on you it suits you but what are you going to use for your middle name? I have thought of Yasmina, Ann, Aquila after a family member but other than that I’m lost. I don’t want to keep the name Kelly at all. I don’t like the letter k very much.
I’m very visual and I like the look of O’s A’s Y’s and W’s. Should I leave the Anne so i’m not changing my name too much or do you think its better to say while you are going through he process give yourself a new middle name as well, why not!
I would really love to hear some suggestions. It’s very different choosing names as an adult that for a child so much easier to sound contrived and get it wrong.
kind regards
Kelly (at the moment)
I’m glad you specified that you didn’t want to keep the Kelly part of the name at all, because my very first thought was to switch the first and middle names: Anna/Anne/Ann Kelly, there, done, let’s go out for doughnuts!
If I were you, I think I would start by having a conversation with your dad. If he would have preferred to name you something more European, he may very well still remember what the contenders were. For adult name changes, I like the idea of choosing something else off the parents’ lists—something that could actually have been the person’s given name if things had gone a little differently. Are there relatives your parents might have wanted to name you after? What Y-names and W-names does your dad like? I think it might feel more like your Real Name if your dad helps choose it.
I would also go to the Social Security Administration’s website (if you are from the United States; if you are from another country, I’d look at that country’s name data), scroll down to the “Popular Names by Birth Year” tab, enter your birth year, and go down the list. Write down any that appeal to you or have meaning for you.
I’m having trouble figuring out if you’re asking if you should keep Ann/Anne as your middle name when you change your first name to Anna: i.e., Anna Ann. If that’s what you’re asking, I do think that seems strange and that something else should be chosen.
My guess is that you’ll be most content with your name change if you feel like there was a reason to choose each name. If the conversation with your dad isn’t possible or doesn’t lead anywhere helpful, I’d look for other significant influences in your life. Do you have any role models in your field—people who began or changed the industry, or whose work inspired you to join it? Any favorite authors or artists or actors or politicians or activists? An aunt or grandmother you were particularly close to? Any women who stepped into your life when your mom stepped out? Any family surnames that would make good middle names? Any names that crop up again and again among the women in your family?
This next suggestion depends on how the rest of your mom’s family has been. If for example they were horrified by your mother’s behavior and have been very active and involved in your life, I might suggest looking for a name from that side of the family, since your surname is from your dad’s side of the family.
When you have some finalists, I’d do the Naming Story Test: because you’re changing it yourself, it feels even more important that the naming story sound right. As you say, it’s easy to end up sounding contrived. Something like “Anna was my middle name, and Jean is my grandmother’s name” works. So does something like “Anna was my middle name, and then I chose Michelle for my Aunt Michelle who did so much for me.” Or “Anna was my middle name, and Weiss is a family name.”
Another option is to have no middle name, or just an initial. It’s not very common, but I’ve encountered it often enough to be familiar with it. It would be a hassle to go through the process twice, but this would also leave things open to put a name in there later if the right one occurred to you.
Without a surname to work with, it’s difficult to offer specific suggestions. But I think even with a surname I’d be at a loss: to make a list, I’d want to talk to your dad, poke around in your family tree, and so on.
I think Swistle’s advice about places to look for names is solid, but if you want suggestions, I will give you one for each of the initials you said you liked:
Anna Amelia
Anna Olivia
Anna Wilhelmina
Anna Yolanda
These all end in a. I like the double a effect but some people don’t, so here’s one more. I know a girl named Anna Ruth. Her folks sometimes call her by both names and I’ve always like the sound of her name.
Or just Anna Yolande. Yolande was my aunt’s name.
My friend’s daughter’s name is Anna Michelle, which sounds nice. I have another friend whose daughter’s name is Anna Elisabeth, which is also nice.
I wouldn’t do “Anna Ann(e)” as a name. In your case, if no name jumped out at me I would probably just choose to go without a middle. Otherwise, I like the idea of possibly honoring someone with your middle name choice, maybe a relative or friend who passed?
Good luck!
Can your father’s first name be used? Either in it’s original form, or feminized? Example: if his name is Daniel, Anna Daniel or Anna Danielle? Joseph to Josepha or Josephine? Since it seems he was the parent in your life, it might be a nice way to both honor him and feel a true connection to your new name.
Another suggestion, if you’re a woman of a particular faith, would be to take the name of someone that you admire as your middle name (saints name/Biblical name/etc).
If you officially change your first name to Anna, then you need something other than Ann(e) as your middle name. I agree that asking your dad for ideas is a nice idea.
Or perhaps you could pick a German name that appeals to you, since your dad is German & wanted a more European name for you. Yasmina works in this regard, though I think I lean more towards spelling it Yasmine. Wilhelmina could also work, especially since you like Ws. For other Y names, maybe Yvonne or Yvette? I also like the idea of a middle name that honors someone important to you. A family member, close friend or just somebody you admire.
Good for you for recognizing that you’re unhappy with your name and doing something about it. I love the name Anna and think it is a wonderful, timeless choice. I agree with everybody else that Anna Ann(e) is maybe not the best name, so it seems logical to choose a new middle name. You could potentially go without one or just pick a middle initial, but I find those options almost more peculiar than just picking a new middle name that you like.
I like all of the suggestions from Swistle and everybody else about hunting for a meaningful middle name in your family tree, personal life history, or some other personally meaningful place. However, I’m not sure I agree that your “name story” is particularly important. I think people care more about babies’ name stories because — aside from the baby’s sex — there isn’t much else to talk about. People seem likely to respond to your middle name with the same type of casual nonchalance you have received when you told them you’re going by your middle name now. People only inquire about my middle name and why I have it (no special significance except my parents thought it worked well with my first name) when we’re engaging in a conversation about names.
My fiance and I are sitting in a waiting room all day, so we checked out some baby name websites for middle names starting with O, Y, A, and W that work for a woman named Anna. We ended up with two broad categories:
European:
Anna Ingrid
Anna Adele
Anna Yvette
Nature
Anna Willow
Anna Wren
Anna Winter
Anna Oriole
We also just liked the sound of Anna Wynn(e).
Good luck no matter what you choose, and enjoy that new name!
I like the idea of using just an initial for the middle name in your case. It sounds like you like Y a lot, but are less connected to anything that it could stand for…and I like that it’s a little non-traditional, just like changing your name as an adult is.
If you do want a full name though, how about Ynez?
Definitely don’t use Anna Anne.
I love Anna. You could also use Anja or Anka since that’s more German, I think.
I like:
Anna Yvonne
Anna Yvette
Anna Yasmine
Anna Ophelie
Anna Olympia
Anna Odelia
Anna Odette
Anna Winifred
Anna Wynne
Anna Adelle
Anna Abigail
I instantly thought of Yasmine…. LOVE the sound of that, then I got to the section of your letter that read you are thinking of Yasmina!! I think Anna Yasmine ______ sounds fabulous together!!
I would also take swistle’s advice and talk to your dad or other family members for other naming ideas.
I agree that Anna Ann sounds a bit off. I would probably avoid doing that.
Good luck and keep us posted!
While I tend to agree with Swistle on just about everything, I think I would be inclined to choose a name I really loved for my middle name in this situation, regardless of personal connections/meaning. As you put it: “Well, why not??” Anna is a variation of your current middle name, and you will be keeping your father’s surname, so family is still well-represented. Your new middle name is the perfect place to pick something for you. It sounds like you’ve been giving this a lot of thought and for what it’s worth, I love the sound of Anna Yasmina (I love the flow of two ends-in-a names, but that’s just me). I know a woman who changed her name in her late forties, to something very current, and that did come across as strange (think Kyleigh) but seeing as you’re keeping the timeless Anna as your first name, I think you have free reign when it comes to what you tuck neatly into the middle spot. If you want to be adventurous, go for it!
Hi Kelly,
As an Anna myself I am a fan of you choosing this name for your future! I have always liked my name and I believe it wears well. My middle name is Elizabeth which is an extremely common name for middle names AND for middle names for Anna (I know 3 other Anna Elizabeths!!) However it does sound very nice together. When I married I kept my maiden name as my middle name and dropped Elizabeth (I do like it but wasn’t overly attached and felt much more bonded to my maiden name as i now go by all 3).
I feel that longer middle names go with Anna since it is a simple first name. Also, as a lot of girls names end in “a” I find it can be hard to find a middle name that doesn’t repeat the “uh” sound at the end of the name! Here are some combinations I like:
Anna Orion
Anna Claire
Anna Madeleine or Madelyn
Anna Imogen
Anna Genevieve
I love the name Ysolda, spelt with a Y (like the awesome young knitwear designer, Ysolda Teague). It feels European to me in a romantic, medieval way, probably because of the story of Tristan and Isolde.
Anna Ysolda?
Or if you’re keen to avoid a second name ending in ‘a’, there’s the even more medieval-looking Yseult.
Anna Yseult?
I say, go all out and choose something you really love! After all, middle names are rarely aired. I wish you all the best with your exciting name change!
We almost named our oldest daughter Anna Rose. My husband ‘won’ with his preference that we use the R name first so that’s why we didn’t use it.
Thank you everyone for leaving such positive well thought out feedback :) I wasn’t prepared for such understanding and kindness. I have seen around the web that others have discussed a adult name change and the responses haven’t always been very kind or understanding. But when I came across this site found by another adult name change I felt like you might just be the right community of people to ask :)
Thank you swistle! I took what you had to say on board. I was also really touched that squirrel bait and how you you both sat there looking for names for me, I could picture this and I was really touched by your joint effort over my name change search :) I hope the wait wasn’t too long or awful…?
Well I went to births deaths and Marriages yesterday (which is where we have to go and apply for a name change here in Australia) I think that I was the most excited person in that room, well it seemed like that anyway.
I decided that Anna Yasmina was the right fit for me. I know that a lot of you are not keen on the double a ending sound but i kind of like it. The name Yasmina I heard for the first time when i was quiet young 7 or so and I remember thinking that the name sounded like sunshine. Like yellow flowers on a summer morning. Funny how it has stayed with me. I also used to think of a knee when I heard my uncles name Neil lol!
Thank you!
A.
Anna Yasmina is just beautiful! Congratulations on your new name; wishing you all the best.