Rachel writes:
I so appreciated the advice you and your readers gave me, regarding an honor name issue my husband and I had, when naming our first son (Miles Joseph). We are expecting our second child, a girl, this August, and again, are stuck on a middle name.
In fact, we aren’t convinced we have a final choice for a first name, but are pretty sure.
My husband and I both like the name Claire. I’ve liked the name for years, and even though I love searching for new names, I think it’s still my favorite. I like how Claire and Miles sound together. Our last name is Trude1le. We may want another child in the future.
We’re stuck on a middle name. Marie is my middle name, the middle name of both of my grandmothers, and the first name of one of my sister-in-laws. I like that it would honor my side (with our son, we honored my husband’s by using his middle name). But I see a few possible issues with it:
Claire Marie is the flip of the name of a magazine. I don’t know how strong this association would be for others (it’s not huge for me, but I am aware of it). Visually, does it make you think of the magazine? I almost notice it less when I say both names aloud. Is a magazine title a negative association?
I still have a desire to use a name that somehow honors my father, who passed away. His name was Eric, and we considered using his name as a middle name for our first child, but ended up sticking with a family tradition on my husband’s side (the issue I wrote to you about last time). Back then, I thought we could always use Erica for a middle name if our next child was a girl. Now, I’m not sure I like Claire Erica, or even Erica at all for a middle name. I do, however, love the name of my grandmother (my father’s mother, who also passed away), Maxine. Claire Maxine is a little more unique than Claire Marie and I would love to honor this grandmother, whom I was also very close to, growing up.The problem with this is that my other grandmother is still alive, and I worry a little bit about hurting her feelings by using my other grandmother’s first name, instead of the middle name that honors them both. She would never say she was hurt, but it feels a little silly to honor one, when we could honor both.
I’d love to know your thoughts! Thank you so much for your advice!
Claire Marie doesn’t make me think of Marie Claire magazine, but it’s the sort of thing I would be glad to have thought of beforehand so I could make sure it didn’t bother me. It seems like a bigger issue if you plan to call her by both names than if she will be known as Claire and only a few people will know her middle name. The magazine association doesn’t seem negative to me in any case.
I also love Claire Maxine. And this is where you have run into one of the big issues with honor names: people who AREN’T honored. My own opinion is that if you prefer the name Maxine, and if you were closer to that grandmother, that you should go right ahead and use it. Reasonable people understand the idea that only a certain number of honor names can be used. Since you want to honor your other grandmother and you describe her as someone who wouldn’t say anything about it, I suspect she is a reasonable person; if you spin the name choice as one that honors your father, as well one that honors a relative who will never get to meet this baby, I think it is unlikely that your other grandmother will be hurt. And of course she has no way of knowing if perhaps you plan to use HER first name for the NEXT baby; she also wouldn’t know that you chose the name Maxine OVER the name Marie. It helps too that Maxine was a first name in your family, while Marie is a middle.
On the other hand, Marie is also your middle name, which gives me a happy mother/daughter feeling about the name. So really I think both middle names are good choices, and that you could go with either one. I have a slight preference for Maxine, for these reasons:
1. It’s less familiar as a middle name
2. It’s a first name in your family, which feels like a higher honor
3. The concern about Claire Marie reminding people of the magazine
4. I prefer the sound of it
5. I prefer the look of it (Claire Marie repeats four of the same letters)
But I like Marie for these reasons:
1. It has a happy “tying in with the girls in our family” feeling to it
2. It honors more people at once (though this then dilutes the honor somewhat)
3. I don’t think the magazine association is a problem
Let’s have a vote to see what everyone else prefers!
[yop_poll id=”54″]
Name update!
Hi Swistle,
Thank you so much for your help with baby number two’s middle name. I loved reading your thoughts, as well as your readers’ comments.
We decided to use “Marie” for many reasons, but I especially like the parallel between our son’s and daughter’s middle names (our son shares my husband’s, our daughter shares mine).
Claire Marie was born on August 19th at 8:33 pm.
What about Claire Marina, as kind of a combination of Marie and Maxine?
I was thinking the same thing but Claire Marine. I combined family names to make up my girls middle names. I also feel like combining names to create a new one makes it easier on family members in not feeling left out. I used Shelise (Shelley/ Elise ). And Marita ( mark/ hendrita) as middle names to honour family.
Maxine just makes me think of that grumpy old lady on the Hallmark cards.
Pro: those cards are really funny Con: they’re kind of “bad”
How about Claire Marie Maxine or Claire Maxine Marie?
I love this idea. Claire Maxine Marie or Claire Marie Maxine? I think they both sound awesome and there’s no reason to only use one middle name if you like both. Plus, I think the double nitials sound quite distinguished. CMM Trude1l reminds me of JRR Tolkine or George RR Martin- it rolls off the toung nicely.
*initials
I was going to suggest the same thing! If having two middle names is something you would consider, I think this combination (in either sequence) is lovely!
Yes! I also thought the same thing! I love the double initials as well! I am rather into alliteration these days : )
Claire Maxine Marie. Claire MM Trude11e.
The letters that make up “Eric” are all found within the name Claire :)
You are right! :D
Love that! What a neat connection.
My grandmother’s name is Clare Marie and I never thought of the magazine connection until it was mentioned here. I personally prefer Claire Maxine for you though.
I adore the sound of Claire Maxine, but I have absolutely zero negative feelings about Claire Marie (whether through cadence or magazine association) so I’m in the “I can’t decide” bucket – I prefer Claire Maxine slightly, but like Swistle really enjoy the mother-daughter link of Claire Marie. Does it help to know you can’t go wrong with either? :)
Claire Maxine is so much more distinctive than Claire Marie.
But! There’s such an easy solution! Two middle names:
Claire Maxine Marie
or
Claire Marie Maxine
They both go well with your surname.
I do think “Claire Erica” is hard on the ear though. I’d rule that one out.
And yes, Claire Marie immediately made me think of the magazine, which is neither here nor there really. But using Claire Maxine Marie would eliminate the association.
Good luck!! Update us, please!
I have always been a 3-names type of person. 4 names almost just seems like too much and I don’t even know why. I think i worry that my child would be filling out paperwork and have to put First, Middle and Last and wouldn’t know where to put the 4th Name!
Realistically, those moments are probably few and far between. In your situation, I think it makes perfect sense! I think Claire Maxine Marie is beautiful and if you like the sound of Maxine in the 2nd position (as opposed to the 3rd position), you could use the “magazine” excuse when explaining to your living grandmother why you chose to put Maxine’s name first. Have you considered Clara? If the magazine association bothers you (it doesn’t bother me, but it is YOUR baby afterall – ha), then maybe Clara Maxine Marie would be a good choice.
I do think there is a bit of an honor to your father by naming your child after his mother, so in my mind, you still honored your father.
If you do have a third girl, will you feel like you have used up all of your honor names, or will you feel comfortable using Erica ? That’s something I would think about if I were in your situation.
Good luck!
I voted for Claire Maxine, but I also like the idea of using both as some other posters are suggesting…Claire Maxine Marie is great! However, if you are planning on having more kids, you may want to save Marie for a future daughter.
I voted for Claire Marie. When I first read it I thought “why does that sound familiar?” but then kept reading and thought “ohhhh the magazine” but I didn’t have any negative feelings about it.
I also think that Maxine is a perfectly acceptable middle name. Congrats & good luck deciding!
Claire Marie sounds PERFECT! Marie is a traditional family middle name in your family and honors both of your grandmothers; it sounds like you suspect your living grandmother may be hurt if you use Maxine, but say nothing about it. However, why chance that when you have the good luck of having both of your grandmothers with the same middle name? Using Marie also shares your middle name with your daughter, similar to your son having your husband’s middle name as his middle name. And lastly, Claire Marie is a perfect match with your French surname. I would not pass up this chance (perhaps your only one) to use Marie for your daughter. Claire Marie Trude11e — C’est parfait!
I love the idea of using both middle names, and I also love the idea of creating a new middle name out of the two, like Marina/Marine. If you wanted to also honor your father, you could use Mariska or Marika.
If I ony could choose one name betwen Marie and Maxine, I would choose Maxine.
I immediately thought of the magazine, but I don’t see that as a problem. Plus, the way things are going for print media, it might not matter for too much longer.
I agree with all of the items on the lists that Swistle gave above, so I don’t think you can go wrong either way.
What about the name Mariana? Claire Mariana Trude11e sounds lovely, incorporates Marie but is indepentent enough to not cause any tension, ideally. I also love when there is juxtaposition between singular and multi-syllable names!
Personally I like the sound of Claire Marie better than Claire Maxine, but both are great names. My favorite suggestion, though, is using both middle names–Claire Maxine Marie or Claire Marie Maxine. Another option if you go with Marie would be to use Clara instead of Claire as the first name. Clara Marie has a pretty sound to it and there wouldn’t be as much of an association with the magazine.
Claire Marie does remind me of the magazine unfortunately because it does sound nice together. Maxine is a great unique name but just doesn’t flow as well as Marie. I would like to suggest an entirely different middle name: Rochelle. It is a derivative of Rachel which would honor the mother but still give her daughter an entirely unique name: Claire Rochelle.
I have friends who went with Claire Nadine and I have always LOVED LOVED LOVED IT. SO. I am firmly in the Claire Maxine camp. Great name.
Congratulations on your second! I remembered your post, and sure enough, found my response to it! At that time, I had mentioned liking the idea of using Erica for a first name for a future girl. But, it sounds like you have your heart set on Claire. I really like Claire Maxine. Gives her an uncommon twist to a common first name. Claire Marie does not make me think of the magazine. Claire Erica does not flow well but Erica Claire flows better.
I prefer the flow of Claire Maxine.
I know I am adding a (possibly unwelcome) twist, but after reminding myself of your first question, I wonder if you would consider Claire Stewart Trude11e. I know that you were quite anxious to honor your father, and I think doing it with some part of his name is a more direct route than using an older female relative from his side of the family.
If you are set between Maxine and Marie- it sounds like you have more reason to choose Maxine unless you want the parallel of your first son’s name by giving your first daughter your middle name (then both of them could pass down the same family naming tradition.)
Good luck, whatever you choose, your daughter will have a lovely name with a lovely set of reminders for you.
For some reason when I say Claire Marie, it ends up coming out “clammory”, which I know is not a word, but it kinda sounds like it might be some vocab word from high school that no one uses in daily speech. I do have a tendency to speak rapidly, so that may be an issue just related to me, and also easily solved by making an active pause between the names, but just wanted to mention it anyway.
Reading Sarah’s comment and then reading the first letter Rachel sent to Swistle, I think using Stewart as the middle name is a brilliant idea. That seems to be what Rachel is most wanting — to honor her father –and that seems to be the most direct way to do so and still use Claire as the first name. I think Claire Stewart Trude11e sounds very classy, especially since Stewart sounds like it might be a family surname, which are often given to girls.
I just wanted to pipe in that last year I overheard a little girl (probably about 8 or 9) being called by her name, “Marie Claire,” several times (sounded like she’s called Marie Claire 100% of the time). I can’t tell you how beautiful I thought it sounded!! So crisp and clean and beautiful. I knew it was the name of a magazine and everything, and that didn’t sway my opinion (which is unlike me). I love it. So I think Claire Marie would be just fine if you go with that. :)
I voted for Marie. I like the symmetry of your son having your husband’s middle name and your daughter having your middle name. The magazine doesn’t bother me. I honestly had to think for a couple of minutes after you pointed it out before I even remembered it.
If you are still concerned about the magazine, maybe you could use another Mary/Marie variant name? Annemarie, Mairi, Maria, Mamie, Mariellle, etc. behindthename.com has a pretty extensive list. http://www.behindthename.com/name/marie/related
I also really like the idea of Erica after your father, though I agree that Claire Erica doesn’t sound great.
I once had the pleasure of working with a vivacious Italian woman named Erica. She told me it is the name of a flower, which is lovely – it makes it feel like the name does double duty, as a feminine version of a male name, and a feminine name in its own right. You can’t go wrong, all your ideas and the suggestions are beautiful.
Good luck!
Another strong vote for Claire Maxine Marie!! I think this has great flow compared with either of the individual options, incorporates both of the names you like, and gives Marie a little bit of distinction as the anchor name (Marie is a very pretty name but its frequent use as a middle name can make it seem a little like a placeholder unless you shake things up, which this would accomplish!).
You may want to prioritize what you’re hoping for in an honor name for your baby girl. If that’s specifically honoring your father, then it would seem that you need to use one of HIS names — Eric or Stewart or a very close form of either of them. Claire Erica doesn’t seem to work together because of the repeating ‘air’ sound in sequence. Erica Claire would work, but you prefer Claire for the first name. The suggestion of Claire Stewart seems excellent for you.
It seems to me that the choice of either Maxine or Marie and the advantages of each puts aside what you started out to accomplish — honoring your dad with one of the names of your second child. Using a name of his mother “honors” your father only in that you chose a name from his family, but doesn’t specifically honor *him*.
Fortunately you have two workable choices for a girl in his name: Erica as a first or middle name or Stewart as the middle name. Stewart in the middle has a surname feel to it and thus, I think, works just fine.
You can use one of your *father’s* names and keep Claire too by naming your daughter:
Claire Stewart Trude11e
or
Erica Claire Trude11e “Claire”
If your priority is to name this baby after your dad, either of those names would clearly do so.
Claire Maxine is GORGEOUS!!! However I saw you mentioned that you aren’t convinced that your first name choice is final so if you really would rather use Marie as a middle name and aren’t a hundred percent sure about Claire Marie, maybe try another first name that has the same feel as Claire.
Elaine Marie
Sienna Marie
Evelyn Marie
Kate Marie
Faye Marie
Eloise Marie
Saige Marie
Clara Marie
Elodie Marie
Lucy Marie
Gemma Marie
Mabel Marie
Iris Marie
Lilah Marie
Everly Marie
Hazel Marie
Sadie Marie
What a pretty baby girl! Her name is just as lovely as she is. Congratulations ..and thanks for letting us know.
What a lovely name, and I love how special it is to have all the family connections to it! Congrats and all the best to you and your family!
Congratulations! And thank you for updating– it means a lot!