N. writes:
Help! My baby boy is 1 month old and we still have no name. We didn’t fully settle on a name before he was born, and now that he is here it feels even harder! Today is his one month birthday, and all we call him is baby boy. The problem is now that he is here, we need to find a name that fits him. He has 2 older sisters Eloise who is 3 and Annetta, whom we call Annie 1.5 years. His middle name will be Dennis (after his late grandfather) and Cao (my mom’s maiden name, pronounced Cow) and his last name will be Flegel. So “name” Dennis Cao Flegel. Conditions for his name.
Have more then one syllable that we can hopefully give him a nickname for when he is young. Eloise was called Lulu when she was a baby.
Either have his nickname or name be simple enough that my parents can pronounce, they are Chinese, and English is their second language.
Be not very popular.
Be an actual name.
His personality, he’s pretty mellow, never cries, sleeps well and tolerates the “love” his sisters bestows on him.
Help? Is that anything out there?
We originally liked Clarke, but it was too short, and now he doesn’t suit a Clarke. We considered Gabriel, but I think it might be too feminine. We also considered Charleston. And now we are considering Theodore-but just not certain on it yet.
Help, help, help! I’ll attach a photo of the baby boy and see what you can hopefully come up with. Thank you so much for your time and help.
I don’t know how we’re supposed to focus on this problem with that cute baby making those cute faces at us.
I think one reason names are commonly chosen before birth is that it is IN GENERAL easier to choose a name before all the issues of the actual person arrive on the scene. It is hard enough to figure out issues such as “What names do we agree on?” and “What issues are important to us in a name?” without also having to think “Which names are right for This Particular Person Right Here?” and “What does his current personality mean for his name?” In theory, it should work better to name the actual person on the scene; in practice, it can make it hard to concentrate.
For one thing, right now he is a baby. Babies do have temperaments, and there are many aspects of personality my babies showed when they were tiny that have persevered—but the dominant temperament/personality of a baby is “baby.” If I were to name a baby a name that worked on a baby, I would choose something like Mr. Froggypants, or Pookie, or Cutie McTummersons, or Sir Crankybritches. All of my babies’ actual names felt very awkward on them at first, and only came to fit them later on as I got used to both the name and the baby; instead we called all of them “the baby,” or names such as Sir Crankybritches. Was it the same with your daughters’ names, or did their names instantly click into place and feel right?
In fact, did you have this same trouble naming your daughters? If you did, how did you overcome the difficulty? If you didn’t have the same trouble, is it because this time it’s a boy name and you have an easier time with girl names? Is he your last baby? Is it that you have backed yourself into a corner with requirements that can’t all be simultaneously met? It sounds to me as if we need to diagnose what the problem is before we can effectively work on fixing it.
Let’s look at your other requirements:
1. “Have more then one syllable that we can hopefully give him a nickname for when he is young.” Do you have a reason that the name must have more than one syllable? If not, this requirement may be eliminating some great potential names. Baby Boy could be his nickname, if that’s what you’ve been calling him since birth. And many one-syllable names also have nicknames: George to Georgie or Geordie; John to Jack or Johnny; James to Jim or Jimmy or Jamie. Or nicknames can come from his initials: J.D., for example.
2. “Either have his nickname or name be simple enough that my parents can pronounce, they are Chinese, and English is their second language.” This I won’t be able to help with, but perhaps some of the readers are familiar with what is easier/harder to pronounce in Chinese.
3. “Be not very popular.” This is something we can sort for, although I encourage you not to eliminate names on the basis of popularity alone. Boy names were tricky for me, but went much more smoothly when I realized my taste in boy names was Top 50. And one benefit of choosing a common name is that it’s more likely to fit a variety of types of people: the associations of the name will be diluted.
4. “Be an actual name.” Easy enough.
Can you alter or loosen or eliminate any of your requirements to make this easier on yourselves? If the entire pregnancy went by with no decision, it could be a reasonable strategy to say, “Well, let’s wait until he’s born.” But now another month has gone by, and you say it’s in fact getting harder rather than easier. This says to me that continued searching for The Right Name is not working, and may be distracting you from some of the enjoyment of his baby days.
Do you have any family names you could use as the first name? Or would you want to use what you’ve got so far (Dennis Cao Flegel) and call him Dennis/Denny/Densy for now? If later you were to think of a better first name, you could add it onto the front of his name.
What would Eloise like to name him?
Gabriel doesn’t seem feminine to me. Gabriel/Gabrielle is like Michael/Michaela or Paul/Paula: I don’t confuse the masculine and feminine versions of the name. It has the great nickname Gabe, and I think it works well with the sister names: Eloise, Annie, and Gabe. My one hesitation is that Gabriel Flegel seems like a lot of L.
The name Theodore seems perfect. It has multiple syllables and a great nickname for childhood and beyond. It’s an actual name, and not too common. Theodore Flegel; Eloise, Annie, and Theo.
I could suggest other names, but it seems like after this much time you’ve probably considered all of them. Still, I will suggest some, including ones that don’t meet your requirements:
Anderson
Archer
Bennett
Benjamin
Brendan
Casey
Charles
Derek
Darian
Everett
Garrett
George
Gideon
Griffin
Harrison
Henry
James
Jasper
Jeremy
John
Jonathan
Nathan
Nicholas
Simon
Warren
Wesley
Wilson
Name update! N. writes:
Thank you so much for your help Swistle and to everyone else who chimed in. This might be your quickest update! We have officially named our baby boy Theodore Dennis Cao Flegel. I think I just needed the reassurance. Since we waited so long to name him, I felt that I needed to exhaust all avenues. Theo fits our baby boy just right! Thanks!
I have attached a photo of Theo and his big sisters, Annie (1.5) and Eloise (3).
(photo by Michelle Regner)
After reading your letter and seeing baby boy’s adorable photos, I picked Theodore from your choices. He looks like a perfect little Theodore, Teddy, or Theo!!
He looks like an Oliver to me. Ollie! Congratulations he is adorable!
I agree Theodore seems to fit all your criteria and it goes well with the sibling names. And I don’t think Gabriel is too feminine. Just using Dennis Cao Flegel seems workable, too.
Here are a few more ideas. Some have no set nicknames or are only one syllable but I like them all with the rest of the name and the sibling names. (I kind of like one syllable names for you, actually, because of the double middle name–not that it’s cumbersome with more syllables, though, since all the names are pretty short.)
Aaron
Luke
Matthew (Matt, Matty)
Samson (Sam, Sammy)
Zane
I was thinking Sam too.
Such a cute little guy! I think Theodore suits him perfectly. He can be Theodore or Theo later on and your little Teddy Bear now. Wouldn’t your girls love calling their little brother Teddy! I think you’ve found a name that meets all your criteria. I’d fill out his birth certificate application right now and move on with enjoying this little guy.
Theodore Dennis Cao Flegel — what a fine name!
I completely agree with the previous poster, Theodore suits him perfectly. He looks like a little Theo.
I think Theodore is a fantastic choice. I also thought of Samuel when I read your post: Samuel Dennis Cao Flegel. Sam Flegel.
These were my two immediate thoughts as well. Theodore is lovely, but I saw Samuel/Sam when I looked at his beautiful face! Either would be wonderful, so it’s completely your preference… :)
p.s. I suggested Zane– even though it breaks two of your rules– because I thought he looked like a Zane.
You can’t go wrong with Theodore. What a super name! We had a cat we were having trouble naming and be called him Boy for a long time and ended up naming him Boyd. I ended up loving that name and was sorry we had “wasted” it on a cat once we had sons.
I second (third?) the name Theodore. Great nicknames: Theo, Ted, Teddy, or even Bear. Congratulations!
I’ll go with what I thought when I saw the photo. Benjamin. Ben is a great nickname and works well with you girls names. I love Theo too. :)
Good luck! He’s a cutie!
He definitely looks like a Gabriel. A very happy little Gabriel nn. Gabe!
If you’re willing to break your one-syllable rule:
I LOVE GEORGE. It is cute, simple, a real name, not too popular and it is adorable with Eloise and Annie. Eloise, Annie and George. You can call him Georgie or Geo.
Charles would also be awesome! Charlie!!
Would you consider Matt/Matthew with the nickname Ma (accent mark needed) Ma meaning horse in chinese as he was born in the year of the horse.
So cute! Looks like a little Gabriel to me :) congrats!
I like Theodore nn Ted/Teddy OR Swistle’s suggestion of Benjamin nn Ben. I don’t know which names are easiest for native Chinese speakers to pronounce, but both Ted and Ben seem as simple as they get and are adorable with your girls’ names. Congrats, what a sweet baby boy :)
I like Theodore and Gabriel (Teddy or Gabe).
Oh my goodness! The cuteness of that 2nd picture & “Sir Crankybrithces” is making it hard to concentrate.
From your list, he looks most like Theodore. Theo is a great nickname that could also carry over when he is older-and it does seem to fit him. Teddy is also very cute, especially for a little one. I think it’d be hard for me to pass on the opportunity to have a Sir Teddy Bear.
Augustus or Augustus both came to mind when I saw his pictures. Nicknames could be Auggie or Gus, but Gus seems to fit him better for some reason. Or Ben, but maybe something a little less common than Benjamin. Bennett or Benedict perhaps? Though, with Benjamin you’d also have Benji as a possible nickname. Everett with Rhett as the nickname?
I also agree with Swistle that 2 syllable names can have nicknames. I have a George who was Gigi when he was very little, then Georgie and he recently declared that his “big boy” nickname is G.
I like Myles for you, but am not sure if it would work for your parents. Jack, Grant, Jude
Ah, that should be Augustus and August. Told you it was hard to concentrate with so much cuteness.
Both girls names start with a vowel, so my mind went towards baby boy names starting with a vowel:
Abraham, nn Abe
Edward, nn Eddie
Elias/Elliot/Elijah, nn Eli
Ezra, nn Ez (?)
Issac, nn Ike
Owen, nn ‘O’ (?)
Oliver, nn Ollie
Before I got to Swistle’s reply, I was totally thinking Theodore (Teddy). Eloise, Annie, and Teddy. Lulu, Annie, and Teddy. So cute! Congratulations on your darling baby boy!
Oh my goodness. What a little smooshums. Can we call him smooshums? If not, then I vote Theodore of your potential names. If you’re looking for alternatives, here are the names that leapt to mind when I saw that adorable face:
Russell (probably doesn’t fit your requirement for ease of pronunciation, but RUSS!)
Maxwell (he could totally be a Max)
August (as someone already suggested…because Gus)
Alexander (called Xander or Zan)
Smooshums
I had to add….what about Ian? Ian Dennis Cao Flegel. Nickname “E”.
I love Theodore, but holy moly, BABY. All I see is adorable baby! No wonder you’ve been having a hard time.
I think Theodore works out really well with the full name and with your daughters’ lovely names. Teddy! Theo! Such a great name. Benjamin also works (Benji when little, Ben as he gets older), Isaac (Ike! although not my favorite when followed by Dennis, I think the “s” sounds trip me up – but it might not bother you), Nathaniel or Nathan (Nate!). Oh and I like Gabriel (Gabe). I don’t find it too feminine, but I named my kid Julian which other people have called too feminine. Whatever, says me. Femininity isn’t a bad thing.
Congratulations! What an absolute cutie pie! I’d like to throw full support for Theodore (nn Theo)–it fits all of your criteria, and it goes perfectly with his big sisters.
Additionally, I have a little 9 month old Theodore (nn Theo), and his name has grown on everyone for the past 9 months. It’s truly a lovely name–strong, historical, handsome, not over-used, but not unfamiliar.
As a side note, if our Theo had been a girl, our top girl name was Eloise (nn Lulu)!
Good luck with your choice!
I love Theodore- my one reservation is the Alvin, Simon, Theodore echo Inhear in my head when the last sibling of three is Theodore. Probably just too many Chipmunks episodes for me and hardly a consideration.
I was thinking along the lines of Jill- grab a name that starts with a vowel to unite the group. And so I volunteer Oscar, nn Oz. Distinguished gentleman name with the capacity to grin as fabulously as your son does in that second pic.
Good luck!
For the lists given, personal preference, and what he looks, I would suggest:
Simon, Ezra, Brookson, Jonathan, or (yet another) Theodore.
He looks like a Theodore (Teddy) to me! What a cutie!
How do you like Jay? He seems as happy as one, it should be easy for your parents to pronounce, is one syllable, is not trendy, is immediately recognizable, and is pretty classic in its own right.
Jay Dennis Cao Flegel.
Eloise, Annie, and Jay.
Ray might also be a fine fit. It’s strong, a little less easy-going than Jay, but entirely suitable (with a smile like THAT! WOW! He’s a beam of happiness!).
Congrats on your charming son! May he live a long and useful life, be respected for his kindness, and stay that cheerful!
If Theodore was the right name, I don’t think you would be struggling now. I see him and think:
Julian nn Jude
Samuel nn Sam
Miles nn Milo
I second the suggestion of Ian, which is very close to the Chinese name Yan. I also like the nickname E!
Love the suggestion of using the initials J.D. as his nickname!
I love ‘J’ names in general actually. My favorites being John, Jacob, James and Joseph. All of these names have the great nicknames Johnny, Jake, Jay or Joe/Joey too.
Your baby boy is soooo adorable!!!
Good luck!
Congratulations he is gorgeous!
I love Theodore! He does look like a little Theo!
I recently had a little boy we named him Marshall other names on our list were;
Michael (nn Mick)
William (nn Will)
Harrison (nn Harris or Harry)
Harris
Archer
Tristan
Hudson
I also like Ethan, Oscar or Oliver!
Good luck
What about the name Eli? Could be a nickname for Elijah, Elias or Elliot.
I can’t help you with the English/Chinese translation at all but I just read that Eli (E-Lai) translates to ‘Justice Cometh’ in Chinese.
Great name either way!
I can’t even think about a name with that cute baby face! He is ADORABLE!!!
I like Theodore but it seems like it would not be the easiest choice for those speaking English as a second language. Benjamin nn Ben is my favorite from Swistle’s list, but Bennett nn Ben might be a better choice because it is easier to say.
Congrats on such a cutie!
Joining with others to say that I love Theodore for you, but will also note that I often travel in China and have gotten a lot of positive feedback about my son’s name, Milo. Easy for Chinese speakers to pronounce. I also think the suggestion of Elias nn Eli is a good one in terms of Chinese pronunciation.
Congratulations – he is so adorable!
First of all, I love your girl names!! Annetta?? So charming! Eloise, always so lovely! :)
I would like to 100% agree with Swistle. We named our daughter Juliet. the name was picked out at 25 weeks pregnant and we loved it right away and never looked back. It took me about 2 weeks to get used to it. It felt weird calling her by her name, it felt weird saying it out loud, just was plain weird. Now, she’s 3, and for the last 2.75 years I couldn’t imagine her being anything else. So if you have come across a name that you both like/love but now it seems “weird” on him that’s ok. Because over time it will “be his name” and you couldn’t imagine it being anything else.
From the names you mentioned I LOVE Charleston. You definitely don’t hear that one everyday but it is also not made-up/is an actual name. Plus, Charles or Charlie are fab nicknames. You could even stretch out Tony if you liked that as a nn.
I think Theodore is perfect! Eloise, Annie and Theo!
What about Griffin? When I saw the first pic of him, I could totally see a little Griffin!
What about Maxwell? Nn could be Max or Wells (if you are looking for something a little different)
What about Oliver? Nn Ollie. This is our sons name. We also struggled with boy names and finally came back to this name and decided it was the only one I felt ok with. Totally love it now. Plus I think it fits in well with the girls names.
Other names:
Simon nn Sims or Si
George
Benjamin or Benson
Samuel
Jack – love this!
Judah nn Jude – also love this!
Oscar or Oswald nn Oz
Elijah nn Eli
Ezekiel nn Zeke
Walter nn Walt
Guthrie nn Gus
Louis (Lou-ee) nn Lou
Maguire nn Mac
Winston nn Win or Winst
Raphael nn Raffie
Archer nn Archie
Good luck. Keep us posted when you decide!
What about Lucas? Nn Luc. I much prefer the French spelling of Luc over Luke.
Eloise, Annie and Luc.
Just chiming in here in agreement that this babe could totally rock either Theo or Teddy. From the other suggestions, I most like Samuel/Sam or Maxwell/Max for him.
Eloise, Annie & Theo
Eloise, Annie & Teddy
Eloise, Annie & Sam
Eloise, Annie & Max
When I write them out like that, I slightly prefer the one syllable nickname of the last two names.
William came to me straight away. Eloise, Annie and William (nn Will or Bill)
Before I read any other comments, I thought, “Looks like a Samuel to me!”
Now I’m a little weirded out at how many Sam suggestions there are!
Also really like Theodore. Can’t go wrong there.
I don’t think Gabriel is feminine.
I like Theodore.
Such an adorable baby!
My husband suggests Michael. Louis, and Steven.
How about Oliver with the nickname Ollie? I like that all of your kids would have names that start with vowels. I also like Abraham. Since you already call him Baby, I think it could be less of a transition for your daughters if you call him Baby Abe-y or Abe the Babe for a short while. Plus I adore the nickname Bram.
Good luck. Perhaps you could put your top three names in a hat and have Lulu pick. :)
Oh love that idea of Abraham. :)
I vote Theodore! Nickname Teddy… TEDDY BEAR!!! So cute.
I really love Theodore.
Here are some others that I think sound good for you,
Calvin ( nn Cal )
Benson ( nn Ben )
Arthur ( nn Art )
Mitchell ( nn Mitch )
Leopold ( nn Leo )
Everett ( nn Rhet )
Marcus (nn Mark )
Elliott (nn Eli )
Good Luck!
What a cutie! Congratulations on your beautiful baby boy. I love the name Theo, and I think it suits your little guy perfectly. Theodore as a full name and Theo or Teddy. Adorable. All the best!
I’m with Swistle and the other commenters: I LOVE the name Theodore, especially with Theo as a nickname. Or you could call him Ted/Teddy/Teddy Bear!
Theodore! Love the nn Theo and Teddy.
Also like Samson, Samuel, and Abraham as well! He looked like he could be a George too.
Here are other suggestions:
Jamison (James/Jaimie)
Lincoln (Linc)
Gavin (Gav)
Theodore is my favorite. Congrats on your cutie!
I think Theodore is great. I recently met a college student named Abraham, though, and for some reason, it stuck with me. Plugged in with the rest of your baby’s name, it sounds neat to me. It also has a similar sound to Gabriel/Gabe, without being remotely feminine.
Abraham Dennis Cao Flegel
Abe Flegel
Thanks for the quick update and photo! You must be a busy mama with three small children — each of them equally darling. When I read that you went with Theodore “Theo”, i exclaimed, “Hooray!” That does seem the perfect name for you baby boy. Now you can put your naming concern aside and just enjoy every minute with your little ones. Congratulations!
Just have to respond again here to squee over your beautiful children. So unbearably beautiful! congratulations on little Theo!
Theo is a cutie pie! Congratulations!