J. writes:
My husband and I are welcoming fraternal twins of undiscovered sex in August. Many of our friends question our sanity at waiting until delivery to discover their sex, mostly because this requires us to come up with four mutually-agreeable names. We’ve only tentatively begun discussions, but two things are clear: we both favor more timeless or traditional names, and they are not likely to be the same ones. My top female contender – Daphne – inspires from him a serious side-eye and Scooby-Doo reference, while his suggestion of Samuel is a no-go for me. For no rational or obvious reason, the name inevitably makes me think of sandaled, dirty feet (apologies to any Samuels out there reading this).
We are both German, English, and Irish; I am also Scottish. Our surname, Martin. The twins will be our first, and most likely only, children.
His father is Charles Gregory, mine Gary Charles. We would like a “GC or CG” boy’s name that recognizes our dads, perhaps a Grant or Graham Charles Martin. For a second boy’s middle name, I would like to incorporate Lawrence, my grandfather’s name. Other male first names on my short list are Elliott, James (Jamie), Benjamin and Harrison. He likes Brooks and Heath.
For our two female names, I tend to like names that are feminine, but gravitate most to ones that also evoke a degree of gravitas (the aforementioned Daphne is perfect in that vein). Other contenders are Madeline (Maddie), Marion, Blythe, Ava, Charlotte (Charlie – again, perhaps, a nod to her grandfathers), Emmeline (Emme), and Annalise. I only have one middle name in mind: Gildea (pronounced GILDE), an Irish surname in my maternal grandmother’s family and her own middle name. My husband hasn’t yet offered suggestions.
Your advice and alternate name recommendations would be most helpful in bringing us to common ground. Please help!
It’s true you’ll need two boy names and two girl names, but I would suggest a different way of organizing the hunt. Instead of looking for four names, I suggest looking for three sets: a set of two girl names, a set of two boy names, and a set of one of each. I’d set it up like this: one page where you jot down all the names you like, one section for boy names and one section for girl names; then another page where you’d start pairing them up, divided into three sections labeled Girl/Girl, Boy/Boy, and Girl/Boy. (Or if that’s not enough room, you could have a page for each.)
Then this is how I’d go through your joint list of names when you have one: Take the first name on your list, and see if it pairs up well with any of the other names on the list—boy names or girl names. So for example, let’s say Grant is the first name on your list. Look at all the names on your boy-name list and see if you like any of them with Grant; if you do, put the pairing on your Boy/Boy list. Then look at all the names on your girl-name list and see if you like any of them with Grant; if you do, put the pairing on your Boy/Girl list. And so on for every name on the list. You might think I’d advise stopping when you started to make reverse sets of pairings you’ve already tried (_____ and Grant instead of Grant and _____, for example), but actually I recommend trying ALL of them: order can make a difference in the way the names strike you.
This exercise is going to accomplish a few side things as well. For one thing, it will show you which names you feel strongly motivated to find pairings for, which can tell you something about your preferences. It may also expose some names that are outliers on your list: if a name doesn’t go with anything else you like, it may not be your usual style. And it might give you information about what you like in a PAIR of names: do you feel drawn to twinniness, or do you prefer to avoid it? Sharon/Karen and Timmy/Tommy pairings are out of style, but many parents enjoy slight twinny things such as matched or reversed initials (G.C. and C.G., for example), matching numbers of letters/syllables, A/B names (for Baby A and Baby B), a strong matched vowel/consonant sound, etc.
One nice thing about choosing twin names is that there is even more room than usual for bargaining and compromising. Perhaps you will end up with a boy/girl pairing where the boy name is your first choice but his second, and the girl name is his first choice but your second—things like that.
I find both Grant Martin and Graham Martin a little difficult to say—not to the point of ruling them out, but enough to give me pause. Would you consider Charles as the first name? (I’m guessing you already HAVE already considered it, but let’s discuss it anyway.) It’s a name both of your fathers have, and it is very appealing to take advantage of that coincidence. It has the S-ending of James from your list and Brooks from your husband’s. It’s classic/traditional, meaningful to both sides of the family, and has good nickname possibilities. If you have two boys it would be nice to split up the honor names, but if you have boy/girl twins I think I might choose the honor value of Charles Lawrence over the honor value of C.G./G.C. initials: I like the balance of Charles being your husband’s dad’s first name and your dad’s middle name, and then the middle name being your grandfather’s first name. Plus, I love to say Charles Lawrence: it gives me just a pleasing hint of Charles Wallace from A Wrinkle in Time, without overdoing it.
I’d put your girl-name list into three groups. Madeline/Maddie, Charlotte, and Ava go into the first group: all very popular names (because of multiple spellings, Madeline is more common than it appears on the charts). Emmeline and Annalise go in the second group: less common, but I’d consider them both aligned with current styles. Blythe and Marion are in a third category: much less common, not yet back in style. I might intermix the first two groups, but not the third: I think Charlotte and Emmeline work nicely together, but less so Madeline and Blythe, or Annalise and Marion. Another nice thing about Charles/Charlie (not to oversell it) (too late) is that it works with all three groups: Charlie and Ava; Charlie and Annalise; Charles and Marian.
If you had boy/girl twins and named the boy Charles Lawrence, I’d be very inclined to look for a family name for the girl twin as well: ______ Gildea. Or perhaps she could be the one with the C.G. initials: Charles and Cora, Charles and Claudia, Charles and Cecily, Charles and Claire, Charles and Clara, Charles and Cordelia, Charles and Clarissa, Charles and Celeste.
There are so many decisions to be made, so many lists to write. If it all starts to seem too overwhelming, there’s another method for choosing twin names: pretending they’re not twins. So first you’d think, “Okay, we are having a baby; we don’t know if we are having a boy or a girl,” and you make a list of boy names and girl names and you choose one of each. Then you say, “Oh, and now we are expecting again!” And you look at your chosen boy name, and imagine a little toddler with that name, and now you are expecting a little brother or sister for him, so you make a boy name list and a girl name list and choose one of each again. (Repeat with the chosen girl name, imagining a girl toddler about to have a new brother or sister.) This will still result in all three pairings (a boy and then a girl; a boy and then a boy; a girl and then a girl), but in a way that removes the complication of twinniness.
Hmm, I think I prefer Swistle’s second method. However, I do not tend to like twin names that are very matchy. I think the 2nd method of looking at the names as just siblings names and not twin names would probably reduce the level of twinness.
If you really want to use honor names, you could also start with those. If you know you want to use Charles, find a pairing with Charles that you like. Same thing with Lawrence and same thing with Gildea for a girl. The point being that the first/middle pair takes dominance in your decision making, as opposed to the b/b, b/g or g/g pair. That’d give you at least your boy/boy set, then you narrow down which boy name is most meaningful to use for the b/g set. At that point, you might realize that you really want to use both boy honor names. So maybe for your b/g set you go with Charles Lawrence, even though that name isn’t one you would use for b/b. This leaves your g/g set. If one of the girls is going to have an honor name, I’d want the other one to also have an honor name. Perhaps there is something from his side you could use for the other girl?
I think it is good to think of it as picking out names for: b/b twins, g/g twins, and b/g twins – so 3 combinations total. I’m not sure about making all the other kinds of list, as sometimes I think that gets too confusing.
My thought process would go like this..
1) definitely want the mn Charles for a boy and the mn Lawrence for a boy
b/b twins: _____ Charles & _____ Lawrence
defintely want the mn Gildea for a girl; and since in this case (the scenario of getting g/g twins) there would be no boys, perhaps you would like to use Charlotte for the other girls mn since you won’t get to use Charles?
g/g twins: _____ Gildea & _____ Charlotte
for b/g twins then, this combo makes the most sense to me:
b/g twins: _____ Charles & _____ Gildea
2) then begin to consider the first names on both you and your husband’s lists..
I’d consider things like.. do you want their first names to start with the same letter/sound similar/ or be very matchy? is it more important to you to use a names you LOVE even if they don’t really go together.. or names that are more matchy in a twin sort of way?
I would also consider consequence of unisex/gender neutral names – ex: for b/g twins, I’m not sure that I would use Elliott as it is used so often for girls now.. I feel like people may be confused as to if it is b/g twins or g/g twins.
3) I might suggest something like Gavin instead of Grant or Graham. Gavin Charles sounds nice to my ear. Instead of Heath or Harrison – Henry? Henry Lawrence. If you were willing to let go of Lawrence as a mn I might suggest the GC/CG idea and naming one twin Gavin Charles and the other Callum Gregory (or some other C name) – which would give them each one of the grandfather’s middle names.
For girls, it’s hard without knowing more info – but my personal favorites are Blythe and Emmeline.
I would end up with something like this:
b/b twins: Grant Charles & Henry Lawrence
g/g twins: Emmeline Gildea & Blythe Charlotte
b/g twins: Grant Charles & Emmeline Gildea
Both Charles and Lawrence seem like good middle names as you honor both sides of the family in one go.
Heath & Grant would be nice sibling/twin names > Heath Charles & Grant Lawrence.
Would Annabelle be a name you like? Annabelle and Madeline, Annie and Maddie.
Grant & Annabelle, or Grant & Madeline sound great together too.
Some other name possibilities:
Blake – Blake & Grant, or Blake & Elliott
Griffin
Lawson could also be a way to get at Lawrence – Grant Lawson would be lovely.
Edith – Edie
Iris
Juliet
Beatrice
Astrid
Esme
Louise
For boys, G. Charles seems a good place to start. I like both Grant and Graham, but if you need more ideas I also like Garrison, Garret, & Gavin. For a second boy, I like all the contenders with Lawrence, but James most. On the other hand, though, since your husband has given more input on boys’ names, it might make sense to go with one of his picks here. Brooks Lawrence or Heath Lawrence.
I hesitate to add names to the list as you have a lot already but since you did say Daphne was perfect for you but not your husband, I’ll suggest a few that remind of it, for different reasons: Audrey, Diana, & Phoebe. Any of those could go with Grant or Graham Charles.
Here are a couple g/g pairings, to round things out. I pressed some of your first name choices into middle name service, as you only had one middle.
Madeline Gildea & Emmeline Blythe
Ava Charlotte & Annalise Gildea
What about Laurence or Lauren, or Laura for a second girls middle name? Then you have another family honor name for a girl :)
I am a big fan of C.G. and G.C. for initials. I think it is a wonderful, while subtle, twin connection! And if you are having twins, why not?! Not many people get that opportunity :)
I think a lot of people have given good advice for how to start making your lists. I agree… I would do a b/b, g/b, g/g list. I know it sounds weird, but depending on what boy name you pick, you may end up choosing a different girl name then you initially thought would’ve been your first pick. Or, your top two boy picks that you both love, once you put them together as a twin combination, maybe they don’t sound as good together or else you notice that the two names are too alike and sort of muddle/flow into one another.
Here’s some other name suggestions:
BOYS:
I love the idea of using Charles as a first name. Charles nn Charlie is such a strong, classic boy name.
I think Charles and James going well together.
I also like Grant Charles and Heath Lawrence. Although, if you take out the middle names, Grant and Heath, I like the combination a little less. I actually like Gavin and Heath better. Or Griffin and Heath.
If you like Harrison, does Garrison appeal to you? Garrison Charles sounds wonderful together.
What about George. George Charles or Charles George.
Ohhh… what about Griffin Charles and Louis Lawrence. Griffin and Louis (lou-ie). Griff and Lou. That’s pretty awesome boy combo!
I really like Henry. Or Jack. Or Oliver.
Griffin nn Griff
Garrett or Garrick
Gavin
Giles – underused, classic name. I really like this one.
Grady
Guthrie nn Gus
GIRLS:
As soon as I read Daphne, I immediately thought that Daphne and Blythe would be the PERFECT girl/girl twin set. Eee…. if only your husband would come around to Daphne. I’m going to just make a point here, when Swistle said that lining them up in different orders give you a different feel, she was totally right. I love Daphne and Blythe. But if you write them out as Blythe and Daphne the appeal is slightly less…. So, if you are going to present names to your husband, do it in the best format!! Some names, like Daphne and Blythe, I think not only sound great together but there is an extra appeal as they look amazing on paper together as well. It sort of solidifies the pairing — both have 6 letters, both have that -p and -y that sit below the line in the middle of their name (which makes them both look so interesting) and both end in an -e — to me, they look so fabulous written down. So instead of saying them out loud, maybe write them out together and show him?? (hope that makes sense?)
If he can’t come around to Daphne, I think Phoebe and Blythe are also a fabulous set.
I do like Charlotte and Emmaline as a combination as well but very different feel then Daphne.
I have a girlfriend who’s name is Charlee. And funny, her nickname is Charles. So that’s kinda neat nod to your family.
Iris
Astrid
Violet
Margo
Fiona
Ruby
Stella
Norah
Anabel or Annabel
Thea
Calista
Calla
Cora
Camilla or Camille
Carmela
Catalina nn Cat
Cleo
Griffin and Daphne would be my most favourite boy/girl combination. Or Griffin and Blythe.
Good luck!!
Another girl combination I like is Charlotte and Penelope. Charlie and Pennie. That’s cute
My two boys (not twins) are named Charles and James, but James is almost exclusively called Jamie (he’s almost three and introduces himself as Jamie). Charles and James sound great together, Charlie and Jamie sound great together… in my opinion, this pairing is best!
I know someone who recently used the name Gentry, which I love. She used it for her daughter, actually, so her name is Gentry Charlotte. That could be a good option, though I prefer Gentry for boys instead of girls. I wonder if you’d like Garrett for a boy? Or Grayson? It would be cool to have GC initials for the boy and CG for the girl, as Swistle mentioned! Gentry Charles and Charlotte Gildea!! Or for other girl options, Catherine, Chloe, Claire, Caroline, Carolina, Corinne, Cana… Good Luck!!
Just a heads up-
“The Gentry” refers to a specific social class of people. It would kind of be like naming your kid “Aristocrat” or “Upper Class.” Just something to consider.
Oh, but I do love Garett- refreshing but not “unusual”.
How do you feel about Gregory? I think it’s great if you don’t mind the direct name sake.
My daughter’s name is Blythe Marion _________, and my son’s middle name is Martin, so this one really hits close to home for me :D Blythe is such a great name! My son’s name is Felix Martin _______, which I think would make a swell first-last combo as well. I like Felix Charles Martin.
Also, I’ve always thought Felix & Blythe would make a great b/g twin combo, as they fit stylistically and both mean “happy & carefree”… great meaning, and hidden twinniness :)
Love Daphne with Blythe as a g/g combo as well!
I wish you could “like” other posters’ posts! Love the ‘hidden twinness’ of names that sound different but mean similar things .. that’s an awesome route to go with twin-naming :)
How exciting! Congratulations! Swistle’s suggestions on how to organize your pairings is just wonderful.
When considering all of the names you have brought to the table, these are the pairings I would choose if I were in your position….
Charles Grant Martin & James Lawrence Martin
Marion Gildea Martin & Charlotte Louise (my favorite mn with Charlotte) Martin
Charles Grant Martin & Marion Gildea Martin (love that they would both have G middles)
For the boys combo, I really like Grant Charles and Heath Lawrence.
For the girls combo, I like Marion Gildea and Laura Charlotte.
For a boy/ girl combo, I think Charles Lawrence and Blythe Gildea are great together.
Daphne alternatives/other girl names I like:
Dafna
Phoebe
Penelope
Fiona
Daria/Darya
Davida
Diana
Other girls names I like:
Edith
Juliet
Iris
Beatrice
Thea
Norah
Girl combos I like:
Ava & Blythe
Marion & Blythe
Phoebe & Blythe
Charlotte & Emmeline
Blythe & Annalise
Edith & Juliet
Edith & Louise (Edie & Lu)
Diana & Juliet
Iris & Juliet
For boys, I like the flow of Elliot Lawrence.
Samuel alternatives:
Raphael
Daniel
Samson
Or what about having one C boy and one G boy?
Boy combos:
Calvin & Graham
Charles & Graham
Charles & Gavin
Corey & Gavin
Callum & Gray (Gray also makes a good middle name)
Callum & Griffin
Raphael & Elliott (Raph & Eli)
Raphael & Lawrence
Brooks & Heath
James & Benjamin
James & Harrison
Girl/boy combos:
Felix & Blythe (so good!)
Felix & Juliet
Claudia & Raphael
Davida & Raphael
Phoebe & Elliot
Madeline & Elliot
Blythe & Calvin
Blythe & Griffin
The name Vera keeps coming to mind…
Marion Gildea & Vera Blythe
We didn’t find out with my oldest, who has a G initial in honor of my stepfather, George. Had she been a boy, her name would have been Gregory, which is classic and notvtoo common any more. I love it, and the name we used: Gwendolyn.
For b/g twins, I love Benjamin Charles and Emmeline Gildea for you. For b/b twins, I would use ________ Charles and ________ (husband’s first or middle name, assuming that he isn’t a junior). For g/g twins, I would do something similar and use ________ Gildea and ________ (your first/middle/maiden name or a feminine sounding surname from your husband’s side of the family).
I like twin names in the same letter, but only for b/g sets of twins! Bor same-sex babies I like a lot of the other recommendations :) Anyway, I’m influenced by some recent baby acquaintences so I recommend for b/g twins:
Issac Charles Martin & Irene Gildea Martin.
I think those are fantastic.
Not sure if this is too matchy-matchy for you but what about Juliette and Brigette? I know on paper they look a lot alike, but when you say them out loud, the endings sound different enough that I think they could almost work. Juliette (ending in -et sound) and Brigette (ending in -it sound). Trust me, I’m not keen on matchy-matchy twin names but I actually think this one works!
Or Juliette and Vivienne is a great combo as well.
I just wanted to pop in and say how much I love Daphne and Blythe! Love love love! Or I also love Felix and Blythe. Felix is a seriously awesome boys name!
I love Phoebe almost as much as I love Daphne. Would your husband come around to that?
I also wanted to express concern with using Elliott in a g/b twin set. It’s starting to read very girl to me, and I find myself very confused when it’s used with another girls name, such as Phoebe & Elliott. To me it looks like g/g twins.
There are such lovely names on this family’s list, I wish we had an update! Mother of Martin twins, if you’re out there, please write to us!
What about Delphine instead of Daphne? I love the nickname Del and think it is more sophisticated. Plus no Scooby vibe.