Brianne writes:
i’m brianne and my husband is dan and our last name is ott with a -sc in the beginning. we have a daughter named eliza katherine. we are due in july and will not be finding out if we’re having a boy or girl. our boy name is everett (nn rhett). we would like to have four children. we’re having a lot of trouble agreeing on a girl name. i like all your great grandmother’s contemporaries’ names. whereas my husband sent me a list with names he like and it read like a 1980s kindergarten roster. we had no problem naming eliza, it was the only name we agreed upon. we’ve both always loved rhett but decided everett made more sense with our surname. i have people who address me by my surname, even after recognizing i’m female so i’d like to pick obviously male/female first names. dan hasn’t had a significant amount of input for other boy names, but some i still love are below.
other boy names i love: sawyer, calvin, sullivan, theodore
girl names i like: sabrina, tessa, rosalie, vivienne, tabitha, matilda, norah, alice, susanna, joanna, cordelia, louisa, juliette, sylvia
my very favorite girls name is louisa (nn lou, lulu, ouisa).
i love three syllable girl names, usually ending in -a. it just sounds most pleasant to me with our surname.
i want to pose the question of how i can convince my husband to love a name he’s vetoed, but know that would sound terrible (even though it’s honest!). so, instead, dear swistle, please help me think of a compromise name or convince me that i can love another name as much as louisa…but that would make my husband happy (who’d gladly name our child jessica).
thanks!
I love the name Louisa, too! I think it is so pleasing to say. I find it very similar to Eliza, though: ee-LY-zah and loo-EE-zah share a strong Z sound, an L sound, two of their three syllables, and the same rhythm, emphasis, and final syllable. Perhaps, though, you are saying them eh-LY-zah and loo-EE-sah, in which case they are much less similar—and after practicing it a few times aloud, I think I do say eh-ly-zah rather than ee-ly-zah. They still seem very close to me.
One way to convince someone they love a name is to find a tie-in they’d enjoy. For example, Paul is very keen on famous scientists. When I thought of a name I wanted to use for one of our sons, and it happened to be the name of a famous scientist, I presented the name to Paul in that light—rather than saying the truth, which was “There’s someone with this name on the TV show I’m watching.”
Another idea along these same lines is to find a movie or TV show with a really cool/cute female character named Louisa, and have your husband watch it. Don’t remark on the name; just let it sink in over a number of episodes. Then bring up the name again while watching the show, ideally when the character is being particularly cool/cute: “Louisa really is a great name. Are you sure you wouldn’t consider it?”
If he continues to veto it, the quest begins afresh. I recommend not comparing each new candidate to the name Louisa: if Louisa is your top favorite, the quest for a name you like as much as Louisa could be a frustrating or even impossible one. Instead, take the name Louisa out of the picture and see if you can find your new top favorite from the pool of names that remain.
To introduce your husband to names that are both more and less contemporary than the ones on his list, it might be helpful to point out similarities in sound. I’m looking at the Social Security Administration’s list of top names for 1985, and I think Kimberly and Stephanie and Ashley could be compared to Rosalie from your list. Melissa and Alyssa and Ashley could be compared to Alice. Christina could be compared to to Sabrina. Melissa and Amanda could be compared to Matilda. And so on. You could refer to a name as “the current equivalent of Jessica,” for example, or you could say things such as, “Like Sarah and Laura, except the current versions are Clara and Nora.”
Sometimes men who have lists of that sort appreciate a feminine name with a boyish nickname, so you might have luck approaching it from that direction: Alice/Al, Joanna/Jo, Louisa/Lou.
Or sometimes it works to show someone the Social Security name lists so they can see for themselves how things have changed. Point out that names such as Jessica and Ashley are now the Mom Names; have him picture names from your parents’ generation on people your age to give him a feeling for how names can shift with each generation.
A name similar to Louisa is Lucia. It can be pronounced loo-SEE-ah, loo-CHEE-ah, or LOO-sha; in this case, I’m thinking of loo-SEE-ah. Eliza and Lucia. You could still use the nicknames Lu and Lulu, and also Lucy.
Or Lydia; Eliza and Lydia. I like the nickname Liddy/Lyddie.
Josephine doesn’t end in -a, but I still like it with the sibling name and with the surname. Eliza and Josephine. Nicknames Josie, Jo, Phina, Fee.
Or Naomi. Eliza and Naomi.
Or Claudia. Eliza and Claudia.
Name update!
hi swistle! thanks for all the reader’s advice. i just couldn’t give up on louisa…and i’m glad i didn’t. i managed to convince my husband that it’s pretty much a perfect name. we ended up having a baby girl about a month early – louisa anne. she’s beautiful and perfect and we’re over the moon!
thanks again!
brianne
I was in this same exact situation for boy-names. My husband just doesn’t like me favourite as much as I do! But Swistle’s right, sometimes you just have to start over instead of lingering on your what-if name. And on occasion the compromise name can be its own form of rewarding.
My mind goes immediately to Lorelei as a potential compromise name. It’s the name I wanted to use for a daughter before a family member got to it first, and now that I’ve had the chance to see it on a real live little girl I seriously want to suggest it to everyone. It’s so lovely, and so versatile. You can still use the nickname Lulu, or as she’s known, Lila. I think it fits your style, but might sound less grannyish to your husband. And as to Swistle’s advice about t.v shows, Alexis Bledel played one of incarnations of Lorelei on Gilmore Girls, and she’s a knockout ;)
I think Joanna might be the name that both you and your husband could love…it’s nickname potential is similar to Louisa’s, but it wasn’t nearly as out of style for your generation as Louisa was.
I think Joanna might be the name that both you and your husband could love…it’s nickname potential is similar to Louisa’s, but it wasn’t nearly as out of style for your generation as Louisa was.
I was going to suggest Christina before I saw Swistle did. The Chris-beginning gives it a familiar 60s-80s feeling your husband might appreciate, but using Christina instead of Christine makes it more vintage and more contemporary at the same time. It also coordinates well with Eliza, similar sounds, but a different number of syllables, making it different enough. Or how about Jessamine instead of Jessica? Or along the same lines, Amelia instead of Amanda? Samira instead of Samantha?
What about Julia? Eliza and Julia “Ott”? Julia can have the nicknames Jules, Lia, and Jewel.
Other options: Eliza’s little sister…
Georgina (Georgie, Gigi)
Helena (Nell/Ellie)
Celia (Cece)
Viola or Violet
Sylvia
Miranda
Bianca (Bee)
Livia (Liv)
Aria
Aurora (Rory)
Serena
Lucinda (Lucy)
Fiona (Fi)
Tallulah
Claudia
Jemima (best name! ;) nn Jem, Mimi)
Camilla (Millie, Cami)
Phoebe
Vivienne
Clara
Tessa
Rosalie
…sorry, I got a bit carried away!
Hope you find a name you love soon. Best of luck!
Oh, I love the suggestion of Julia for you. It certainly fits the sweet/vintage vibe of the other names on your list. But, it’s similarity to Julie (and lack of romantic associations like Juliette) might make it feel just familiar enough that your husband will like it.
Lucia/Lucy also has potential. As does Miranda. Miranda is one of those names that feels like it should have been common in the 80s, but really has more vintage roots. Along the same lines, I’ll suggest Vanessa, Veronica and Sabrina. Sabrina could have real potential, thanks to the teenaged witched-but her name was really unusual for girs when that show was on TV. Something like Gemma could be a good “update” to Jennifer.
There are also a class of names that are vintage but “sweet” and always seem to conjure images of little girls (as opposed to old ladies). If you like them, names like Lucy and Molly can be more “dad friendly” than other types of vintage names.
While I realize a lot of people prefer to stay out of the top 10 names or so, you could use some of those names to introduce your husband to the idea that vintage does not mean “old lady”. Think of it as getting his toes wet first. Names like Sophia, Isabelle, Olivia and Abigail are popular enough that he’s probably heard them and perhaps even seen little girls with these names. He might not realize why, but these names are more likely to sound acceptable to him. Then it’s just a process of slowly pulling him towards other vintage names (use the spin that you don’t want a top 10/20 name so she’s not one of 5 at school). Suggest names that are close, but not quite. Anabel instead of Isabelle, mention you like Sophia for the nickname Fi. Maybe from there you can get him to Fiona or Josefina.
I love Vanessa, Veronica, Sabrina and Miranda as “80s names” with contemporary appeal. I’d also add Valerie to that list.
I like Everett nn Rhett for a boy – I would only point out that you will have two E fns if it’s a boy – idk if you’re the type to then feel ‘locked in’ to E names for the rest of your children or not so just food for thought.
As far as getting hubs to agree – I can tell you how I did it. I was in love love love with a name that is rarely used anymore and hubs was against it. I pointed out that it was the same first initial as his sister… and offered to make the mn the same as his sisters mn so they would have the same initials (his sister isn’t married). BAM. He loved it and it was soo nice she was going to have the same initials as Aunty. Lol. It may be hard to duplicate this exact situation, but maybe it’ll provide some inspiration.
Now for names – unfortunately, this is the third time in a week someone has brought up naming their girl Louisa and the second time the nn LuLu along with it has been suggested. To begin with, I am honestly not a fan of the name and so am more in your husbands corner on this one. But, Swistles answer convinced me, it must be crossed off the list. I didn’t realize it, but from her sounding them out Eliza and Louisa are much too similar for my taste. So bias/personally preference for names aside, I would eliminate it because of the sound.
For suggesting names, it’s a little hard without knowing more about what’s on his name list.If he likes 80s names – Sabrina, Tabitha, & Tessa were actually fairly popular in the 80s (all ranked ~100s). Also, if you could go for Julie instead of Juliette – Julie was ranked under 100 throughout the 80s. So any of those 4 would give you a name from your list of favorites + 80s feel. Also, none of them are super popular anymore (>#230). Good luck!
We have very similar taste in names, so my first instinct would be to say, “Just choose a name from your list! You can’t go wrong!” But of course, you still have to pick a name that you and your husband both agree on. Swistle had some great suggestions for how to sway him over to your point of view, but if that doesn’t happen here are some names I’d suggest that seem to incorporate both styles (since I don’t know any specific names your husband likes, most of these are names taken off of popular baby name lists from the eighties):
Christina
Danielle
Maria
Victoria
Jacqueline
Valerie
Dominique
Margaret
Renee
Laura
Meredith
Sarah
Alexandra
Cassandra
Melinda
Claire
Cynthia
Gosh, my daughters were little girls in the 80’s and they had friends named: Cassandra, Rosanna, Johanna, Karina, Jocelyn, Hannah, Sarah (multiples), Alexandra, Genevieve, Gabrielle, Alana, Elisha, Martha, Catherine, Emily, Erica, Phoebe, Freya, Elizabeth, Erin, Rachel, Greta, Petra, Amanda, Alyssa, Molly, Miranda, Sadie, Clara, Anna, Scarlett, Fiona, Mesa, Jenna, and Cara. Some of these names are still in circulation on new baby girls. I’m sure there’s a multitude of possibilities from this era that would be fresh and appropriate even today.
The funny thing about Jessica is it’s very popular right now in England–I think in the top 20.
My husband was the same way–the only names that came to his mind were those of girls he’d gone to school with when he was little, or those of his cousins and neighbors. On the other hand, he didn’t care nearly as much as I did what names we chose, so inadvertently I did have a bigger say. There were dozens that would have been acceptable to him, whereas I really only loved very few. Names as a topic of inquiry were way outside of things he found interesting. It’s still this way. I can talk for hours with my daughters about names, he’s good for a couple of minutes, tops. I think one of the biggest tips I can offer is not to oversaturate him with the name conversation–casual, rather than intense, is a good thing and might help your cause.
I’m in the Louisa is too close in sound to Eliza camp–there are lots of good suggestion in the posts, though. Everett is a great name for a brother to Eliza, and it bodes well–I don’t remember any little boys named Everett from the early 80’s, so maybe there’s cause to be very hopeful. Good luck!
All lovely names. :)
My husband’s grandma’s name was Aldea. That might tickle your fancy.
Aldea -ott
Pretty!
What’s your husband’s middle name? If it’s Michael, does he like the idea (and do YOU for that matter) of a daughter named Michelle in his honor? Daniel becomes Danielle, Peter turns into Petra, and so forth…
If that doesn’t work, what about a grandparent’s name?
This simply serves the purpose of thinking about names in an invested sort of way. Let’s face it; not everyone is like us–thrilled to discuss names at length about children who may not ever exist (never mind the real, growing, darling one you have on the way right now!).
Has he considered that it’s tricky naming out of his own generation because of associations? For example, if you loved the name Heather, he might have known an AWFUL Heather who laughed at him on the bus every day. Or if he loved the name Kelli, what if you knew a Kelli who was the biggest flirt in school who broke your brother’s heart? It’s difficult to find a popular name from recent decades that carries NO negative association for both parents.
Don’t know if any of this is helpful, so here are a few other suggestions from the 80’s:
Rhiannon (Rhea)
Charity (Cherry)
Rachel (Ray-Ray)
Amy (or Amity/Amaryllis/Amelia/Amhearst with the nickname of Amy)
Andrea (Dree or Annie)
Melinda
Jenica or Jerrica (mash-up names that have an 80’s vibe)
Stephanie (Persephone has a similar sound but is current)
Allison
Lindsey
Leslie (really quite like this with Eliza)
Valerie
Jillian
Felicity (okay, Felicia was the original for the decade, but this seems so much more current)
Lacey
Best wishes as you anticipate meeting your newest addition! You two’ll find just the perfect moniker!
We share very similar naming styles. When I was pregnant with our daughter I suggested almost all of the names on your list, plus more like Anabel, Penelope, Cecelia, Meredith (oh how I wanted a little Merry!) my husband flat out hated them all. He wanted Abigail, and I couldn’t agree to it due to name associations I have.
I finally suggested Lucy, thinking he would never agree, and had held It back for a long time because i was afraid he would reject it, but whammo! He loved it!
I think you definitely have to start fresh and find a name you both love, I learned that as much as you love a name, it’s very hard to make someone love it the way you do.
Love the suggestion of Julia for you – Julia “Ott” sounds so classic to me! I second Swistle’s suggestion of Lydia, a name my hubby vetoed!
Other suggestions:
Anna (LOVE Anna “Ott”)
Sarah
Hazel (like the shared “z”)
Lillian
Serena
Vera ( another favorite – Vera “Ott” – Eliza & Vera)
Sonia
Violet
Amelia (nn Mia) – might be a good compromise name for hubby and it sounds perfect with Eliza. Eliza & Amelia/Mia
Swistle is a genius! I love the suggestions she presented to get your husband to “like” a name without “forcing” it on him! Fabulous idea! I like Swistle’s suggestion of Lucia (loo-cee-a) or (loo-sha) to separate the sound a bit from Eliza. Plus, the nn Lou or Lucy are super sweet and spunky.
Have you had him consider important women in his family (grandmothers, aunts, ect) that he would consider honouring? You could “suggest” that you are looking for a middle name, and see if he ends up really liking his grandma’s name so much that he would consider moving it to the first name or an adaptation of it? Might help you swing into the older classic names for a good reason. Also, you could point out that a lot of popular names nowadays are actually the older classics, for example: Olivia, Sophia, Isabelle, etc. are all in the top 10 for the last several years. Maybe if he sees that a little Vivienne or Louisa wouldn’t be out of place on the school ground then he would come around?
Depending on how you pronounce Louisa, I think it could start sounding a bit too similar to Eliza. However, if you still can’t get your husband on board, you might be at the stage where you need to drop the name (keep it on short list for future kiddos? Who knows, maybe it’ll feel right the next go around).
I immediately thought of Lucy. What about Lucy? I think Lucy is very sweet and if you liked it, you could possibly swing your husband into liking it as well?( It doesn’t have that “old grandma” feel that your husband isn’t too keen on, yet is a classic name that is more in your tastes.)
Eliza and Lucy. That’s pretty sweet.
What about Thea?? If you both like Theodore (although, if you chose Thea now, could rule it out if you have a future boy) then Thea is a great option. Thea is an old classic yet feels fresh.
Ok, hear me out… but what about Veronica? I recently heard it on a newborn and at first, I thought, wow…haven’t heard that name in a while…and yet….I really like it! It was surprising and fresh. And, I just pulled up the 1985’s popular list, and it is on there. So… if it was a name that you liked, you could always pull up that year’s list and “accidentally” stumble across it?? Does lend itself to some cute nn, Vera or Veri, could probably stretch it to Rooney (if that could help your husband like it?) or Nica or Nic (once again, Nic reminds me of the 1980’s Nicole’s). If Veronica is too much for you guys and you don’t really like Victoria, what about Violet? If Vivienne is too much for you husband, what about Vienne or Vienna?
Other names you could “compromise” on –
1985’s – 2014’s:
Sarah or Laura – Nora(h), Cora, Flora, Claire
Brittany – Brigette. Could use nn Etta, Ette, Birdie
Allison – Alice
Jessica or Julie – Juliet(te)
Melissa – Elsa or Isla
Diana – Odelia (similar to Cordelia on your list but is a softer feel that your husband might like better?)
Jacqueline – Georgia or Georgiana
Josephine – Fiona
Megan – Margo(t) –> I really like this one. Margo is a combination of Megan and Margaret to me. So a good “compromise” on both your parts, although I don’t really see it as a compromise as it is a super cute and spunky name. Eliza and Margo. CUTE! I think this is my favourite.
What about Emily? Emily has been popular throughout the years but doesn’t feel dated.
Or Eve. Rather than the oh-so-popular Eva or Ava, I like Eve or Evie. Gives the same feel as Rose or Rosalie. (which I also happen to absolutely love off your list).
Good luck. I hope you guys find something! PS. I love your boy name!
I think this is a great approach.. 80’s with a modern twist. Other ideas:
Jillian –> Lillian
Holly –> Ivy
Katelyn –> Kate
Jessica –> Jessamyn
Tiffany –> Persephone
Stephanie –> Serafina
Amy –> Amity
Lauren –> Lorelei
Lindsay –> Lydia
Kimberly –> Hadley, Ainsley
Ashley –> Lila, Lela
Oh, if you like Matilda and Tabitha what about Meredith? He might like the nn Meri?
I think Julia and Joanna fit perfectly with Eliza. Just so classic! Olivia, Sophia, Lydia, Emily and Isabella are other names I think just sound so lovely with Eliza. Yes, they are more popular now but never seem dated.
Susanna has always been such a favorite of mine too and sooo underused with many nickname choices. Sue, Susie, Zanna, Anna, Annie. Eliza and Susanna. Cute!
Other names I would like to suggest are:
Helena (Hell-en-ah)
Rebecca
Lillian
Diana
Celia
Stella
Mary
Clara
Emma
Amy
All the best!
I completely sympathise but haven’t had much luck moving my hubby away from the names of his schoolmates.
What about Nicola? 3 syllables, ends in a and very feminine with a history of classic use. Hubby might like the ‘Nicky’ 80’s vibe!
I think Everett nn Rhett is a great choice for a boy. I also think it would be fine to go with Rhett middle name $cott if that is your true love. I like the sound and flow of Rhett with your last name.
I my first thought on reading your post was Julia. It fits your vintage, 3 syllable, ending in a criteria but could be acceptable to your husband. Eliza and Julia are lovely together.
Some other ideas that may work:
Corina
Diana
Marina
Nadia
Rowena
Serena
I think the suggestion of Lydia is perfect! Eliza and Lydia … love, love, love.
Very Pride and Prejudice! Future girls could be Jane and Lydia. ;)
I think Louisa is a great name. But since that won’t work, I’d suggest Laura. It was popular in the 80s, but also top 50 from 1880 to 1906, so it might fit both of your criteria. It’s a classic name and there’s positive associations from as far back as the 1300s (Petrarch’s Laura), plus Laura Ingalls Wilder in the great-great-grandmother timeframe. I love the idea of Laura on a little girl and it would have made the top of my list, but sadly it got vetoed.
I also love Lucia (loo-SEE-a), which is my daughter’s name. We didn’t realize how many great nicknames it has–Lucy, Lu, Lulu, Sia–but I love them all.
The female protagonist in the show “Doc Martin” is named Louisa. It has made me love the name (and it streams free on Amazon Prime). Try it out!
Just looking at your boys names, what about Thea for a girl? Thea S(c)ott?
Or Alanna, nn Aly (might feel familiar to your husband)
I also think Annabel/Annabelle S(c)ott could be a really lovely sibling name for Eliza.
Annabel is just gorgeous. Great suggestion!
Has anyone suggested Natalie or Natasha? Those both feel right on a 30-year-old or a baby. Ellen is a name that feels timeless yet underused, but I can’t think of a three-syllable elaboration that isn’t too close to Eliza.