Ursula writes:
I’m pregnant with my second son, due in May, and my husband and I are struggling to agree on a second boy’s name. Our first is named Malcolm, and his last name is $harpe, which we will likely use for the second boy as well (though I am open to using my last name if it is best for aesthetics–it sounds like McDermott). If $harpe is the last name, the middle name will likely be “McDermott.”
For our second, my list of favorites includes:
Simon
Arthur
Julian
Jules
Jude
Solomon
Eamon
Lucian
Evander
Everett
Hugo
Quentin
Errol
Clement
Claude
Lawrence
Peter
Ellis
Walter
AlonsoHe has suggested Oliver, August, and Leander, all of which I like. However, I dislike the popularity of Oliver, August is a little bit of a tongue-twister with either last name, and Leander just doesn’t stand out to either of us as “the one.”
Negotiating, we have arrived at the following list that we both have some interest in:
Quentin $harpe
August McDermott, August $harpe
Oliver $harpe
Clement $harpe
Errol $harpe
Claude McDermott, Claude $harpe
Eamon $harpe
Everett $harpe
Lawrence McDermott
Leander $harpeI think I’m struggling with having lost some of my favorites off the initial list in the negotiation process. It’s hard for me to feel like any of the negotiated list are “the one”—even those I initially suggested. Right now, Quentin and Oliver are rising to the top. I’m curious about your opinion on the options but also whether you have any other ideas that we haven’t considered.
Thanks so much!
Name update! Ursula writes:
We had lots of great responses from readers about our name list for our second baby boy, a brother for our son Malcolm. They gave us a lot to think about. In the end, we went with the one that my husband and I agreed on most solidly: Quentin McT@gg@rt $harpe was born May 6, 2014. He was 7 pounds 7 ounces and nearly 2 weeks early. We love him and his name!
I think it is so cool you would consider using your last name for this son if it works out better! I’ve never heard anyone else say that before. Awesome!
From the list, I would eliminate: August, Oliver, & Everette because of popularity. I feel like they are on the rise and not as unique/unused as Malcolm.
Clement is a neat name, but I misread it as cement at first.
Also think Errol is interesting – but got Error the first time.
With Claude, I think you might get ‘Claudia’ because people see beginnings of names and stop reading (even with Claudia being a girls name). I also think you might get Clause a lot.
Lawrence is too surenamey for me – especially if his mn would be $harpe.
Leander too ethereal when paired with Malcolm.
That leaves Quentin & Eamon. Eamon shares Celtic origins with Malcolm. Malcolm and Quentin are both similarly ranked at 466 and 440. personally, I like Eamon slightly more. But if it’s between Oliver and Quentin for you, I would choose Quentin.
The only other name I might suggest is Darius. I like it alone, but also with Malcolm. Good luck!
Errol makes me think of the dopey Weasley owl from Harry Potter. Not a negative association necessarily, but something to consider.
I am personally blinded my intense love of the name Walter (nn Walt, of course!) and rarely see it on anybody’s list, so I think you should go with that. Not terribly helpful, I know. :)
Yes, Errol the owl from Harry Potter is all I can think of too! It doesn’t help that I don’t personally have any other connotations with Errol.
And I agree. . .I really love Walter nn Walt!! Malcolm and Walter seems absolutely perfect to me! : )
I like Oliver Sharpe–popularity notwithstanding, Oliver is adorable, and Oliver Sharpe has such a fun, punchy (but classy) sound to it.
I’d avoid using McDermott as the middle name if you’re going with Oliver (or any other 3-syllable first name). If you’re tied to McDermott, I’d go with Quentin McDermott Sharpe (but I’m literal-minded when it comes to certain names and would personally only use Quentin for a fifth-born child).
Malcolm and Oliver–love these brother names!
As a counterpoint to the first comment, I love the idea of using Mom’s name as a surname, but only if you hadn’t used Dad’s for the first child. I think it’s worthwhile to remain consistent, especially as it’s not a given that two brothers share the same two parents. (Plus, what would you do if you had a third child? Someone would be left out!)
I like Lawrence and Everett the best out of the names on your list.
I would also stick with Sharpe as the last name. I’m normally super enthusiastic about using the maternal last name but I think consistency is important. They’re going to grow up together and go to the same school and be “the Sharpe brothers”… I think the unifying factor of having the same last name outweighs any stylistic choices. It tells the world that they’re brothers. I wouldn’t have wanted to have a different last name from my sister growing up.
Also, people will definitely assume that they have different dad’s if they have different last names. There’s nothing wrong with having different dad’s but it could lead to potential embarrassment for your sons/innocent bystanders. It also seems like it would be annoying to have to explain it people (ie teachers, friends at school etc).
I grew up with a pair of brothers like this. The older one had his mother’s last name and the younger one had his father’s last name. It seemed normal to me as a kid. I never thought that they had different dads, but I did often mix up their last names. I would say it was slightly confusing, but no more confusing than when another friend had a different last name than her mother. Over all, I like the idea.
I agree with this. I know a couple with different last names who gave the daughter the father’s last name and gave the son the mother’s last name. It didn’t strike me as particularly weird, and I don’t see why you shouldn’t do it if you want to. There are many more important things that connect siblings than a shared last name. (For example, I don’t think the kid would think his parents aren’t actually married if they don’t have the same last name, so why should he think his brother isn’t really his brother if he doesn’t have the same last name?)
I really like the name Derek for your new son. It goes so well with Malcolm and also with $harpe as a last name. Maybe Derek August $harpe? Or Derek McDermott $harpe? Derek Oliver $harpe?
I do agree with other commenters who have mentioned the boys might prefer sharing a last name. The $harpe brothers, Malcolm and Derek. I love that!
My favorites from the original list were Simon and August and since August made it to the second to last list, I’d recommend that. I don’t hear a problem with either last name. I do like Oliver and Eamon a lot, too, though.
Have you considered Alexander, Felix, Matthias, or Phineas? I think any of those would suit your style.
First of all, I would personally keep the boys with the same last name. It could be confusing for them during their school years. That is just me.
Second of all, we have an Oliver Jules. We initially threw it out because it was too popular, thought we were going to use Simon up until the week before the baby came and for whatever reason, Simon just didn’t feel like “the one” for me. I was constantly looking online for a different name. I am so glad that we went with Oliver. Everyone comments on what a great name it is. Also, consider Swistle’s previous post, that even though names are popular now (as in #80 in the USA) the actual percentage of that name being used isn’t as high as you would think… not like it was in previous decades. Really interesting post… you should find it and give it a read, may change your mind on choosing a name that you may really love but are hesitant due to popularity. We choose the middle name Jules because it runs in my husbands family. We like it because of the family connection, although I’d be careful with first name as I think many girls with the name Julie or Juliet go by nn Jules… likely viewed as a female name in the US/Canada, even though it really is a French male name.
I personally don’t really care for Quentin or Everett, they don’t seem to have the same feel as Malcolm does.
Other options (we have VERY SIMILAR naming styles. So I will share with you some of my top favourites):
Oliver makes me think of:
Arlo. A very small part of me wishes I had gone with Arlo instead of Oliver. Arlo is so unique and not as popular as Oliver but is still a classic, old name. Malcolm and Arlo. LOVE THIS.
Oswald. Nickname Oz or Ozzy is soo cute. Malcolm and Oswald. OK, also LOVE this combination.
Oscar. Malcolm and Oscar.
I love Walter. Walt. SO cute. Walter also makes me think of Winston. Winston was on the top of our list. My only hesitation was the possible nn Win or Winnie… we weren’t very fond of that, so threw it out. LOVE WALT though. Malcolm and Walter.
What about Weldon, Welton, Wilton, Wells? I’m fairly confident that we will use Wells if we have another boy, although I’m not really if Wells really flows well with the last name Sharpe. Wells McDermott sounds good although, I would still keep the boys last names the same, so would maybe throw this one out.
The other name that we have at the top of our list is Theodore. Love Theo. Too bad it is getting so popular though, although we’ve learned with Oliver that that isn’t necessarily a breaking factor.
Louis (pronounced Lou-ee). Malcolm and Louis. Also love this combination.
I LOVE JUDE. We would have used Jude but our last name starts with a D- so didn’t sound good at all. What about Judah? Malcolm and Judah.
Arthur is also very nice with Malcolm.
Eee.. good luck. Can’t wait to see what you guys choose!
I’m not sure if this is the exact one I was initially thinking of, but has a really good info in it as well. Read both the original poster and swistle’s comment:
https://www.swistle.com/babynames/2013/11/13/baby-naming-issue-collecting-thoughts-and-experiences-on-common-names/#comments
(ps. Sorry about so many personal comments in my post above, just want to share some of my experiences with our names and why we did or didn’t pick them… Plus I’m just excited because our lists were almost identical, even though we still struggled picking Oliver’s name out).
I’ve tested out these options with the other names with which they could be paired and they sound quite good and they go with Malcolm: Egan, Brian, Graham, Rogan, Daniel and Curtis. I agree with Swistle about those she thinks you should not use. This naming thing is so tricky. You’ll figure it out, and I wish you luck with it.
Diana
? Did I miss Swistle’s comment? Or are we on our own here?
You didn’t miss it. I wondered if maybe she read a few posts in a row and was thinking of another one that had a reply.
Would you consider McDermott as a first name? McDermott Oliver $harpe. Malcolm and McDermott.
I understand how hard it is to give up some of your favorites because your husband doesn’t care for them. My favorite from your shared list is Eamon. Eamon McDermott $harpe is fantastic. Malcolm and Eamon. I like Everett McDermott $harpe nealy as much. Malcolm and Everett.
I do love the suggestion of Arlo that someone made above. It is similar to one of your favorites-Alonso. Maybe your husband would like that name.
Ok, so usually I just browe Swistle and never comment, but I can’t resist with this one. Malcolm and McDermott are such gorgeous Celtic names… So have you thought about Fraser? Fraser McDermott $harpe is adorable. Fraser seems mega unusual in the US, but in the UK is very recognisable (though still unique and unusual) and I don’t think you’d get any pronunciation difficulties. Good luck!
I LOVE the suggestions of McDermott as first name and also of use Fraser. Both go great with Malcolm!
Growing up I had a friend who’s surname was her father’s, with her mother’s as a second middle name, and her brother had them the opposite way around. I *think* they chose the surnames based on which one went best with the first name (rather than boys got mum’s name and girls got dad’s name). It didn’t cause any issues.
I have a super-common surname so people at school didn’t necessarily KNOW that my brother was my brother, but it wasn’t a problem at all! For some siblings it might be nice not to be known as so-and-so’s brother or sister!
Even though as an intellectual exercise your willingness to use different surnames for your sons conveys flexibility, versatility, feminism, modernity, originality, and sensitivity to sounds, even though grown sisters often end up with different surnames, and even though there’s an abundance of blended families in the world, I still wouldn’t choose it–to me, the romantic practicality of brothers sharing a surname trumps all these other things. So I’d go with Sharpe.
With Malcolm, (and Ursula), my favorite name from your winnowed list is Oliver, popularity not withstanding. Hands down. My next favorite is Eamon–maybe this is even a tie. From the longer list of names you sorted through, I’d add Walter back on–if I have a hesitation with Walter, it’s the way the first 3 letters of the names-Mal & Wal-visually strike me.
Quentin, Leander, Claude & Clement all read a bit too fussy and not solid enough next to Malcolm. And, having just watched Blue Jasmine, I cannot override a sense of either Auggie or Gus being thug names. If you could go with August and not use a nickname, that could also work. But I think that might be all over by middle school.
Suggestions:
Malcolm & Anton
Malcolm & Conrad
Malcolm & Emil
Malcolm & Gordon
Malcolm & Llewellyn (also a bit fussy, perhaps, yet awesome)
Malcolm & Nigel
Malcolm & Philip
Malcolm & Rupert
Malcolm & Russell
Malcolm & Victor
I slept on your query, and realized I wanted to add something. There are two names on your original list that haven’t received any love from us, and either of them could easily have been used for Malcolm’s brother at any point in the previous century: Julian & Peter. I think they’re both still relevant, and would be an unexpected (read: less trendy) choice at this point in time, especially if you’re in one of the larger urban centers. good luck!
I’d like to retract my earlier comment in favor of Oliver. McDermott as a first name is a slam dunk–I don’t know why I didn’t think of that the first time around!
Malcolm and McDermott Sharpe.
Maybe because McDermott is only an approximation of the actual name?
Oops–I did catch that the first time I read the question, but had forgotten it by the time I commented. Okay, scratch that!
From your short list, my favorite is Claude. I think it is similar in style to Malcolm, but with a very different rhythm. I think the names are very complimentary to each other, while still being distinct.
Other favorites (in order) are Eamon, Lawrence and August.
I love Eamon from your list! Also, I love August and I don’t find it to be difficult to say with either surname. Those are my two favorites but Oliver and Everett are also great.
I would personally keep the surnames the same, really only for simplicity in dealing with appointments and schooling and such. Or if you really wanted to use your surname, perhaps put $harpe in the middle name slot?
I think both boys should have the same last name. The assumption would be that they have different fathers and I wouldn’t think that’s very desirable.
If your name actually was McDermott I would suggest using just Dermott for your son’s first name. I re-read your post and it says “sounds like” – too bad! Dermott $harpe is great.
Of your narrowed-down list I love Eamon. It goes really well with both Malcolm and $harpe. Best of luck to you!
I really like Eamon from your list.
I just named a baby boy one of your long list names (Simon) and had Malcolm on the final list, so here are some other names that I had on my list that might translate to your style, but that you don’t have on your list:
Duncan
Tobias
Isaiah
Daniel
I also like Robert and Bruce for you because of the Scottish Kings connection with Malcolm, but I am fairly sure they don’t fit your aesthetic.
The idea of choosing the last name based on the sound alone really turned me off. I feel like if you are going to give your kids different last names, the reason should be better than “because it sounded nicer”… but maybe thats just me. I am not opposed to using your last name… I just wouldn’t do it for aesthetics alone.
My favorite on your short list is Clement. I totally get what you are saying about the negotiating process.. hard to choose “the one” when everything on your list is below your favorite…. But I guess thats compromise?
I LOVE Errol! I have tried to talk my husband into that name for each boy, and it hasn’t worked… so if you two like it, I say go for it! I always think of Errol Flynn (who was quite the ladies’ man – and though scandalous a long time ago, not so much today) and I think it is an overall dashing name.
My cousin’s name is Errol, and I LOVE his name. I think it is quite the dashing name, too. A teensy tiny bit of me wishes he didn’t have the name, so I could use it for my future son.
I haven’t read others comments but I just came across these two names and they would sound great:
Cortlund McDermott Sharpe
Fenric McDermott Sharpe
I notice the similarity between Evander in your list, and Leander in his list. I wonder if you would both like Alexander, or Zander?
Or if Leander isn’t quite right, how about Leon?
Good luck