Holly writes:
We desperately need help deciding on a name for our soon-to-be-arriving baby boy. We already have two daughters, Adeline Catherine (8) and Eleanor Jane (5), and a son Henry Theodore who was stillborn last August just two days before his due date.
Now that we’re expecting another baby boy, we’re really at a loss as to what to name him. We’ve only ever had two favorite boy names – Henry and Theodore – and nothing else we think of sounds quite right. The one thing we know for sure, is that the middle name will be August, as a reference to his brother (all of our children have middle names that relate to family). And as a note, Our last name sounds like “bungee” so all B names are out.
Our top two names now are Felix August and Frederick August, but neither seems perfect. Frederick seems too stodgy (nickname Fred or Freddie, but I don’t love either) and Felix seems too hipster (nickname Fox, but sounds like we’re trying too hard). I want a name somewhere in the middle, that also goes with our other children’s names. We liked Henry so much because it’s strong and kingly but also sounds fresh and youthful. Some other names we’ve considered but more-or-less ruled out are:
August – we considered this as a first name, but decided we really want it in the middle name spot
Everett – seems like a good middle ground and we both like it okay but neither of us is enamored. It’s also my dad’s middle name (named after his dad) and it would feel like we’re naming the baby after my dad and grandfather if we used it, and my dad hates the name
Benjamin – I like it quite a bit, but it’s a no-go with our last name.
Jasper
George
Emmett
Miles
Milo
Sawyer
Thomas
For reference, my name is Holly, my husband is Paul, and some of our other favorite girl names are Hazel, Violet, Beatrice, Margaret, and Clara.
Which sounds more like a matching sib set: Adeline, Eleanor, Henry, and Felix or Adeline, Eleanor, Henry, and Frederick?
Can you think of any other names we should be considering?
We’d really like to settle on a name before my induction next Saturday. Thanks for your help!
My first suggestion sets us back even further: I suggest reconsidering the middle name. “August, after my brother who was stillborn in August” seems like a very hard middle name to carry. It doesn’t even honor the person, but instead references the event. I would strongly urge you to choose another family name.
I think both Felix and Frederick go well with the sibling group, but it sounds as if you have serious hesitations about both. If you’re looking for a regal name like Henry, the royal family offers excellent inspiration. You have George on your list already (though Georgie Bungee feels a little too bouncy), but other good choices include: William, Charles, Edward, Edmund, James, Louis, Philip. I find all of those charming with the sibling group. Charles with the nickname Charlie seems particularly kingly while still being fresh and youthful. Charles (Charlie) Everett Bungee (CEB).
I also like Franklin.
The Baby Name Wizard suggests the nickname Fritz for Frederick; I wonder if that would take care of the nickname issue.
The name Felix seems so cool already, the nickname Fox feels like overkill. Would eliminating the nickname make you feel like the name was less hipster/trying?
Similar to Benjamin is Jonathan. Jonathan Everett Bungee (JEB). You could even use the initials JEB as a nickname.
Or Nathaniel also gives me much the same feeling as the name Benjamin.
Or Nicholas?
I love Everett, and we’ve discussed here before how people who claim to hate their names can end up feeling quite differently if it’s a matter of a namesake. Everett feels very similar to the name Henry: dignified gentleman, while also feeling fresh and cute. This is the name I would probably choose. One reason I keep using it as a stand-in for the family middle name (besides not having access to the rest of the family tree) is that it seems like it’s not ideal as the first name here (because neither of you are enthusiastic about it) but would make an excellent family middle name.
I wonder if you’d like Simon? Simon Everett makes a wonderful brother name with Henry Theodore.
Name update!
Hi Swistle,
I apologize this update is overdue – I just saw that you answered my question a year ago!
Felix August arrived on November 30, 2013, healthy and happy. I adore his name! :-) In contrast to concerns expressed by you and some of the commenters, I don’t think August is a sad middle name at all; I love that it’s a subtle remembrance of his brother, whom we celebrate in August. Our other children’s names also obliquely reference family members, so it’s a perfect fit for our family.
I’m attaching a picture of our sweet Felix.
Best,
Holly
I wonder if you’ve considered Henry for the middle name spot? I love Swistles suggestion of Charles…Charles Henry Bungee. Nicknames can be the cute Charlie or the perhaps complicated Chuck (but I knew a Charles in school that went by Chuck and it worked for him). I love that calling him by his full name Charles Henry would bring your first son to mind in a sweet way.
First, I concur with Swistle about reconsidering the middle name. I fully support acknowledging and remembering Henry, and telling the children about him, but I agree that carrying the name August is a heavy weight.
As for the first names, I like Emmett, Miles, Nathaniel, Nicholas, Felix (but NOT nn Fox), and Simon. I always love William (nn Will).
Anything that creates a rhyming ending (Georgie Bungee, Tommy, Eddie, Charlie) is too much for me, but that’s just a matter of taste.
Love the girls’ names! My nieces (sisters) are Adelaide and Eloise. Good luck, and let us know what you choose.
Swistle already said two of the things I was thinking as I read, that August might not be the best middle and that William work well in your sibling set and has some of the characteristics you liked in Henry. Simon’s a good choice, too. How about Nathaniel (nn Nate if you want a nn), Isaac, or Owen?
Of Frederick and Felix, I prefer Felix, with no nn.
I know these are on your ruled-out list, but I’ve been reading this blog long enough to know those names often pop back into consideration, so I’ll say I like most of them, but especially Emmett, Miles, and Thomas.
I am currently expecting and Felix and August are our top two boy names (plus a lot of your girl choices are on our list) so maybe throwing out a few more from our list could help?
Arthur
Bram
Calvin
Charles
Edmund
Graeme/Graham
Julian
Silas
Simon
And maybe instead of the month of the event, you could nod to Henry by choosing a middle with a special meaning.
I don’t think agree with Swistle and others about the middle name August. It can be presented as “We chose your middle name in honor of your brother because August is a time that reminds us of him.” I really like Frederick August Bungee with the nn Fritz Adeline, Eleanor, and Frederick. Addy, Ellie, and Fritz. I do like the suggestion of Silas. Silas August Bungee. Addy, Ellie, and Si.
I agree with this. It’s sad when birthdays aren’t unmitigatedly happy events, and in this case especially, but if August is a positive association for the parents, representing the entire pregnancy and not just their loss, I’m sure that’s the feeling that their son will pick up as well.
I agree with this. It’s sad when birthdays aren’t unmitigatedly happy events, and in this case especially, but if August is a positive association for the parents, representing the entire pregnancy and not just their loss, I’m sure that’s the feeling that their son will pick up as well.
We have similar naming styles. We considered Edward, George, Louis, and Stuart for our second son and went with Quinn. We have a Henry and I notice most Henry’s have a brother Charlie. I also see Peter and Ben as brothers to Henry in my area.
I have a Felix, and after 3.5 years, there’s no name-related nickname, and that suits us just fine- it’s a great name!
Other boy names we’ve considered- Kemuel, Oliver, Amos, Gilbert, Oscar, Alvin, Sebastian.
I also agree with Swistle and others on re-evaluating the middle name. Swistle’s suggestion of Fritz for a Frederick nn made me think of Fitzgerald, nn Fitz. I also really like Everett from your list. Charles, Edward, and William all go very well with the sibset. I like the suggestion of Graham and I would also throw Oscar and Grant in to the mix.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I was a child born after the still birth of another baby girl. We have the same middle name. It’s never felt oppressive or grim, if anything it helped me always feel linked to the baby that would have been my older sister. Would you consider Theodore for this baby’s middle name?
I love Fred – I don’t think it’s stodgy at all. Frederick Theodore Bungee would be my choice.
I also share a middle name with my older sister who died a few hours after her birth and appreciated the connection without feeling like a replacement or anything. I think Theodore would be a sweet tribute to your first son for this baby.
Another vote to re-evaluate the middle name option.
First name ideas:
Victor
Evander
Simon
Nathaniel
Julian
Desmond
Arthur
Reuben
Lionel
Orson
Emmanuel
Dear Holly,
First, I am so sorry for your family’s loss. I, too, have lost a child. The pain is without measure. I wish you much joy with the imminent birth of your son.
I understand your desire to honor your first son. Although it feels unkind to also disagree with your choice of August, I also agree with others that it is placing an expectation on this son thatight be a burden for him. The names suggested by others are terrific. Were it not for your aversion to double initials, I would suggest Brian for a first name. A few others that also come to mind are James, Andrew (nn Drew), Terrance, Harrison, Laird, Garrett, Conrad, Porter, Oliver or Marcus.
I wish you all the best…
Have you considered using Henry or Theodore for the middle name? You love the names, and that seems like more of an honor than using the month of a siblings death. I have two (unrelated) close friends with a stillborn older sibling, and it is a very heavy weight to carry. Carrying on his brother’s name seems lovely to me; carrying on the date of his death seems intensely sad. As Swistle said, “My middle name is August, because my brother died in August” is a pretty weighty thing for a child to say. But I’m a complete stranger and you can ignore me at will, of course.
I love the name August and understand why you’d like to use it, but I also agree with swistle and think that it holds a heavy reason. Why not use Theodore as the middle name, it give the new baby a link with his brother – instead of being named for him or after him, he shares something with him.
Some names for the mix:
Felix Theodore
Bram Theodore (from the list above)
Eric Theodore
Sebastian Theodore
Samuel Theodore
I am sorry for your loss.
I agree with Swistle about August as a tribute name. In this case, it references his death and that seems like a hard thing for a kid to carry. I much prefer the idea of Henry or Theodore as an honor name.
Between Frederick & Felix, I like Frederick with the nickname Fritz the best for you. Other suggestions that I like for you include Edward, Charles, Graham, Arthur & Nathaniel. I also like the suggestion of Harrison with the nickname Harry. Harrison/Harry works also as a tribute to his brother (since Harry is a traditional nickname for Henry)
Other ideas, Miles, James, Edmund, Oliver, Albert & Thomas.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with using August as the middle name. As mentioned above, the name is being given in remembrance and all that really matters is that you like the idea and want to use it!
We share similar naming styles. Of the suggestions so far I like William, Charles, Samuel, James and Nathaniel with your sib set. Love the names of your daughters!
My favorite though would be Jack August.
Adeline, Eleanor, Henry & Jack
I think August is okay, but suggest framing it as Henry’s birth month, leaving his death (mostly) out of the naming process.
May I suggest Samuel? Sam is distinguished, and Sammy is fun, and it goes very well with your other children’s names. (I’m a little biased, as I have a Sam and my daughter would be Henry if shed been a boy.)
First, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your story is moving, and I am humbled by your grace in explaining the complicated aspects of choosing a name for your son.
I agree with Swistle that August might be too burdensome as a middle name– partially because it is so abstract (being the name of the month the tragedy occurred.) I agree with some other commentators who suggested using Henry or Theodore instead. Using one of those names somehow seems easier to deal with– more grounded and specific, and less overwhelming.
I also agree that Charles would be a good addition to the list, though “Charlie Bungee” isn’t quite ideal to my ear.
One name that came to mind was Lionel. I think Lionel Henry is wonderful and goes well with the sibling names.
Branching from Lionel, I thought of Leo and Linus, and then Lucian. They all have the same classical European flavor as your other choices (though Linus might veer towards too cartoonish with Bungee). I think Henry or Theodore work as middle names for any of them.
I like an earlier suggestion of Silas as well.
Other stylistically compatible options:
Stephen
Alexander
Roland
Arthur
Hugh
Arlo
Roger
Nicholas
Lucas
Kenneth
Dashiell (though Dash Bungee might too odd)
Timothy
Sebastian
Julian
Martin
Gabriel
Raphael
Clive
Emil
Morris
Andrew
Oliver
I think either Frederick or Felix work equally well with the sibling names in terms of style. I’m more concerned how they work on their own with the surname. Bungee isn’t the easiest, and while Frederick works I think Freddie Bungee is a little goofy. I think I prefer a more serious name paired with Bungee…Felix might be too offbeat too. Hm, a tough call. Something 3+ syllables and more common sounds better to my ear (such as Alexander). But on the other hand, Felix Bungee is very memorable and maybe that’s what you are going for.
Good luck!
Once again, before I even have read Swistle’s comments I have come up with about 5 or 6 suggestions… then I read Swistle’s comments and she’s mentioned almost every single one!
1) I also agree with Swistle, I would suggest reconsidering the middle name; I would suggest using Theodore? Both boys would have the same middle names and obviously you love it… I think it would be a sweet way to link this little guy to his brother. But obviously, you and your husband are the ones to make the decision, so you must do what you both feel is right and the name August is a fabulous name. If you do go with August, I think it would be great to use it as the time frame when his brother Henry’s birthday would be.
2) My favourite names would be:
Frederick nn: Freddie or Fritz
Charles. nn Charlie. Love this
Franklin. nn Frankie. So cute and spunky
Louis. nn Lou. One of my friends named her boy this last week and it sounded surprisingly fresh. Love this.
Arthur nn Artie
Simon nn Sims
Oliver nn Ollie
Arlo. We have an Oliver, and some days I wish we would’ve gone with Arlo. I love it so much.
What about Fitzgerald or Fitzpatrick? You could use the nn Fitz?
I feel as though Felix is a bit to “hipster” for the sib set, I would go with something more classic with a spunky/fun nn.
Good luck choosing a name! I can’t wait to hear! Thank you for sharing your story, “Always in our thoughts, Forever in our hearts”.
I really like your taste in names! I’d suggest Davis as a possibility, as well as Gilbert, which I see was also mentioned in an earlier comment.
My 1 year old son is Frederick and we strongly considered August since it’s a family name. We call Frederick Freddy, Fredster, Fred (which we totally thought we wouldn’t), and when he was really a baby–Fredlet. His name has been so much fun.
Other names on our list were mentioned above, but also Laurence/Lawrence. I loved Laurie from Little Women, didn’t you? And his first name was Theodore.
I agree with Swistle and so many others, August seems like a heavy weight for this baby to carry. I love the idea of using Theodore as the middle name. Imagining how I might feel in both cases, were I your younger son. I think I would associate August with sadness and loss, but Theodore I would find comforting, that in sharing a middle name I get to have a special connection with my brother dispite not being able to grow up with him.
I have to agree about August. Its great to commemorate Henry, but using the month of the tragedy seems too heavy. Even if you say “thats when we think of him”, I imagine every August when you think of him will be a sad time, and I wouldn’t want my kind to think his middle name is sad. Using Theodore or Henry seem to be a more positive association. Or you could find a middle name that means “brother” (there are a lot of options out there for this).
I think your naming style is Regal and Classic. Frederick fits this great, Felix not so much. I like Swistle’s other suggestions and would in general look up Royal names to help you broaden your list.
Would it be too sad to have Theodore Henry Bungee?
My suggestion would be either Theodore John or John Theodore, called John, or nn’d Jack, Ted, or Theo.
I like the name Arthur- it’s regal and classic.
I agree with Swistle about the middle name. I think using Henry or Theodore would be a nice way to remember your son rather than using August. The explanation “I was named after my brother” sounds better than “August, after my brother who was stillborn in August.”
However, I really want to caution the use of Simon. Alvin, Simon, and Theodore are “The Chipmunks” and a lot of these name choices come dangerously close to associations with the cartoon (at least for me… I might have seen that movie too many times.) Just something to watch out for.
Good Luck with the name choice!
Some really great suggestions here! I think August is ok as a middle actually. I don’t think there’s any reason why you need to say “…after my brother who died in August.” That middle doesn’t reallly require an explanation to me! Just let it have personal meaning to you as a family.
Some first names that I think of as sounding strong & regal but also fresh (some may have already been suggested, in which case I second them!):
Desmond
Gilbert
Gabriel
Nathaniel
Cameron
Giles
Kendall
Julian
Matthew/Matthias
Samuel
Nicholas (nn Nico)
Damian
Dale
Lawrence
Marcus
Hope this helps!
I had to stop reading the comments when I got to the suggestion of “Arthur” because that sounds perfect to me. I am swooning.
I also like George, or Charles (nickname Chaz) or James.
I also concur with Swistle about August being too heavy of a middle name. I can see people asking if he was born in August and he would have to reply that his brother passed away in August. That is a tough burden. Wasn’t there an earlier Swistle post where people shared experiences of being named after a deceased sibling? I learned a lot from that.
Everett sounds like a perfect middle Name, and is quite on the mark
Of both your choices, I like Felix best.
For a completely new choice – I like Louis. I think it goes best with the sibset: Adeline, Eleanor, Henry, & Louis.
For August – I also think the idea of it is just …sad and its not something you would do for your other children – Eleanor was not named for the month Adeline was born, for example.
August also seems off with the other middle name choices: Catherine, Jane, Theodore, August..
I like Paul after your husband as a middle name
Felix Paul Bungee
Louis Paul Bungee
I also like that if you went this route, each child’s names would start with different letters: A.C., E.J., H.T., F.P. or L.P.
We have similar taste in names so I’ll add some of my favorites. Sorry for any repeats, I didn’t have time to read all the comments. I have two boys, Eli and Oliver. Other top choices were:
Sawyer
Spencer
Wesley
Oscar
Benjamin
Alden
Felix
Calvin
Ezra
I’m sorry for your loss. Our second baby was born at 24 weeks and did not survive, so I understand the naming challenges that follow.
My first cousin’s youngest has the same middle name as his older sister, who was stillborn at term six years before he was born.
As for my opinion, add another vote to use Henry or Theodore as the middle name instead of August – that way, you’re naming after your son instead of his birth/death month.
Best wishes for an uneventful end to your pregnancy, an easy delivery, and a healthy baby!
A family I know with a very similar naming style just named their new baby Francis, nickname Frank. A newborn boy named Frank is so glorious I want to have another baby just to do this myself. Francis August Bungee?
I think choosing the middle name August is a beautiful sentiment and celebration of Henry, and will only be ‘heavy’ if you let it be (which you won’t, obviously!). It’s a wonderful connection for your two boys!
I love the names of your children! We may have similar naming styles, although I don’t have any children of my own yet. My favourite boy names include Thomas, James, Elias, Vincent, Robert and Tobias.
All the best :)
I love Felix with the sibling names!! its one of my favourites! i dont feel the hipster vibe with it. I feel like the name is really international and i picture a really smart and cheerful little boy! i think Felix August, Felix Henry, and Felix Theodore would all be great.
I really like the idea of using part of your first son’s name as a middle name instead of August. August is a terrific name, but you chose your first son’s names because you loved THOSE NAMES and wanted to say them every day with love.
I don’t mind the use of August. I love, love, love Everett August. If you do rethink the middle name, I also love honoring your son by using Henry or Theodore as the middle name and especially love the sound of Everett Theodore. I wish you and your family all the best and hope that you discover a name that brings you a sense of peace and of course, much joy!
P.S.- I never loved my first name “Jane” but when my first niece was named Erica Jane, I really started to love it. So much so that my daughter is Chloe Jane. So I agree with the sentiment that a name can take on a different meaning when it becomes a namesake.