Erin writes:
We are having a girl in February. My name is Erin, my husband’s name is Timothy (always Tim), and the baby’s last name will be Mark!evitz. We live in Los Angeles, so pretty much anything goes name-wise.
We were completely set on naming a girl Colette Revere (nn Cole). I was sure it was our daughter’s name. And then I had my husband talk out loud as if he would talk to the baby, and he was unable to say Colette- he just naturally called her Coley (which I hate) every single time. When I forced him to use Colette instead, it sounded weird. Something suddenly changed, and now I don’t like it when I say it out loud either, so it’s out.
We again started talking about a name we had previously liked for years, even before we got pregnant- Marleigh Revere. My husband loves Marleigh and Colette equally, and I used to love it too, but now I’m wracked with anxiety about it. I’m worried people will constantly say “oh, like the dog?”, and we are having trouble with a spelling. I like Marley just ok, my husband likes Marlee (which I hate), so we decided on Marleigh. The problem- I am completely against creative spellings and this feels like one. But this time it’s the most aesthetically pleasing to me for some reason! I’m just afraid it makes the name seem too trendy and people will think it’s stupid.
The biggest problem is now I’m having massive anxiety about what people will think about her name/spelling. I am aware that I’m clinging to the name because it is the only thing I can control about the pregnancy process, but it’s really unlike me to worry so much about other people’s opinions. I’m afraid to tell friends and coworkers the name when they ask what we’re considering, and sometimes when I look at it written out I feel revulsion- I have no idea where this is coming from. I feel like it’s her name though, so when I look for other ones, I just don’t even consider them seriously. We both like Ryan, but again, haven’t even talked about it much because it feels like she already has a name. But sometimes it feels like I’m scared of the name Marleigh! Ugh, I’m such a mess! Is this level of panic and strange feelings about a name normal?
Sometimes I think the perfect name is out there still, but nothing else appeals to me. We like more unisex names, or feminine names with a boyish nickname, and for a boy we love Wyatt and Walker. I don’t know what to do- is this just normal pregnancy-related hormonal issues?! Is the Marleigh spelling too made-up? How do I get over this panic and anxiety and shame about a name that I’m pretty sure is hers?
Sorry this is so long, feel free to cut stuff if you decide to use it on the blog! I really hope you do- I’d love other people’s opinions on this and trust your readership.
I’m going to start by separating into three lists the feelings you’re having about the name Marleigh.
Positive feelings:
• Feel like it’s her name
• Have liked it for years
Neutral feelings:
• Nothing else appeals
Negative feelings:
• “Oh, like the dog?”
• The favorite spelling goes against your usual naming preferences
• Might seem too trendy
• People might think it’s stupid
• Afraid to tell people the name
• Occasional feelings of revulsion at the sight of it
• Panic, anxiety, and shame
I also notice that the name Colette was ruled out because you hated the nickname Coley, which sounds similar to Marleigh.
It’s very normal to worry about what other people will think of the name. I usually mention something we all already know but that can be reassuring anyway, which is that there is no name you can choose that will win universal approval: if you choose something popular, some people will think it’s boring and some people will love it and some people will think it’s weird because they’re not familiar with currently popular names; if you choose something unusual, some people will think it’s weird and some people will love it and some people will still think it’s too popular. But fortunately, no one cares about the name anywhere near as much as the parents do: everyone else will have their brief reactions to the name, and then it’ll drift right out of their minds.
Because of this, my primary concern is what YOU think of the name. It can be hard, however, to separate out your own feelings and reactions from the worried-about feelings and reactions of others. Or at least, it’s hard for me: I get to the point where I can’t tell if I really do have an issue with a name or if I only have an issue with other people maybe having an issue—and this may be what’s happening to you, too.
One option is to tell a few people the name and see how they really do react to it. You could try it with strangers who ask, or you could try it with a few people where it doesn’t matter as much if they hear the name ahead of time (co-workers, casual friends), or you could try it with a few close trusted friends or family members who could give you a better feeling of what the people most important to you would think. If it’s not typical for you to worry about what people think, you may find that getting some actual reactions (positive or negative) helps you get over that hurdle: maybe their reactions will be positive, or maybe you’ll find you don’t mind a negative reaction as much as you’d expect you would. Or you might find that people’s reactions are something to add to your naming preferences (I found that to be the case for me), and it may in fact end up influencing what name you choose.
One thing that concerns me about the name Marleigh is the surname. Is the exclamation point an L? Marleigh Mark!evitz is hard for me to say and repeats the L sound as well as the Mar- sound.
I can’t tell from my end whether the feeling that Marleigh is Her Name (usually a very strong point in a name’s favor) is enough to outweigh the issues such as having feelings of revulsion and shame. Normally I would be very reluctant to start over when there’s a name that feels like it’s already the baby’s name, but it helps that you’ve gone through the same process with the name Colette: it felt like Her Name, and now it doesn’t. I think in this case, I’d suggest re-thinking the name (as in, with one of the possible outcomes being choosing the name Marleigh). One way to do this is to take a break first, a little soothing rest from considering names, and then pretend that there was some reason you couldn’t use the name Marleigh (a friend uses it or something) and you had to start over.
A first baby’s name can cause extra anxiety because you’re also choosing your whole naming PHILOSOPHY. It’s similar with a lot of other first-baby stuff: you can’t just buy diapers, you have to decide on a diapering system; you can’t just buy something for the baby to sleep in, you have to decide on a sleeping plan. I remember the sweet relief of the second baby, and knowing we could just plug him into the systems we set up for the first baby and fine-tune from there.
For girl names, you’re all over the spectrum: you like Colette, which is used only for girls; Marleigh, which is somewhat unisex but used far more often for girls; and Ryan, which is somewhat unisex but used far more often for boys. If you’d like sibling names to coordinate, this is something to think about ahead of time. I find it helpful to mess around a little with sibling sets—not seriously trying to name all the children ahead of time, but more like seeing what feels right when I imagine the group sitting around the dining room table. Do you picture asking Marleigh and Wyatt about their day at school? Or Ryan and Walker? Or Ryan and Colette? If you have two girls, would you mind having one girl with an unmistakably female name and one with a more-likely boy name, or would that not be an issue?
If you’d prefer to avoid alternate spellings, and you have other style-related doubts about the name Marleigh, it may be that it falls into the category of Names We Love That Are Not Right for Our Family. I have a bunch of those: names I love and really really really want other people to use, but names that just don’t work for US for one reason or another. That’s the category that can give me the sorts of conflicted feelings you’re describing: like I really WANT to use the name, but it’s not FITTING.
In which case I might start by looking for names with a similar sound. Maybe it’s just the ending of Marleigh that’s giving you trouble: it’s the source of the spelling concerns, and you didn’t like the sound of Coley either, so perhaps you’d be happier with the name Margo/Margot, or Marlow(e)? The long-O sound reminds me of Colette, too. I have problems pronouncing either of those with Mark!evitz, though.
The name Margaret doesn’t strike me as being quite your style, but on the other hand it does have such great nickname possibilities: Meg, Maggie, Daisy, Maisy, Greta. Again though, I have surname trouble.
Or maybe something like Mara or Amara? Marina? Marin? Maelyn? There’s a Marguerite in one of my kids’ classrooms this year, and I’ve been surprised at how well it works (and how little it made me think of margaritas, which I would have expected to be an issue but hasn’t been). Mara, Amara, and Marguerite give me trouble with the surname, but Marina, Marin, and Maelyn are less of an issue.
Or we could look for more names with the -arl- sound: Carley (though that may have the same issues as Coley), or Charlotte with the nicknames Charlie (sounds like Marleigh) or Lettie (sounds like Colette). Harlow.
Or Ryleigh (Ryan + Marleigh), unless that has the same issues as the name Marleigh.
Or I know you don’t like the spelling Marley as much, but would going with a second-choice spelling eliminate enough of your other concerns to be worth it? That is, if spelling it Marley takes away the creative spelling issue and a big chunk of anxiety over how others might feel about the name, and also fits better with your overall naming preferences, it could be a worthwhile trade.
The name Colette makes me think of Celeste, which is one of my own favorites.
Colette/Cole also makes me think of Magnolia and Nola and Cleo. Or would you like Collins or Holland or Hollis or Ellis? Or Etta or Scarlet or Juliette or Greta or Beckett or Elliott or Britt? Or Henrietta is a fun one with lots of nicknames: Henry, Hennie, Etta, Ettie. Or Fiona, or Josephine with the nickname Jo.
Or would you like Colette again with the nickname Lettie?
Name update! Erin writes:
My husband and I really appreciated you posting our question and all the commenters who put time into helping us! I just could never get on board with Marley Mark!evitz so it was out. (Our plan is to use Marley with my last name, Fenne!!, if we have another girl someday.) Two months before she was born, we were down to Reese (suggested by one of the commenters) and Logan, which I heard on another baby girl and loved. We then never discussed it seriously because I was still having trouble committing, and figured we’d be forced to make a decision at the hospital.
The day after she was born, we thought we might prefer Logan, so tried it out that day. By the next morning, we felt it was truly her name and were finally able to complete the birth certificate. We also decided to throw caution to the wind and give her a boyish first name with the ambiguous middle name we loved. Yes, people will probably think she’s a boy just by the name, but it doesn’t bother us and Los Angeles is pretty accepting of anything (we know girls named Hudson, Lennon Gabriel, and Noa, among others!)
Phew, long story short, here is Logan Revere Mark!evitz, born February 17th, 2014!
The repeating Mar of the first and last names doesn’t work for me, but that’s just me.
Have you thought about Marlie as a spelling?
I was going to post these two same points. First/last combo isn’t my taste. And “Marlie” as a suggested spelling. A friend just had a daughter named Marlie this year, and her other child has a totally common, classic name (and is not a junior).
I hear you on the “made up spelling” issue. I like Riley for a girl, but my husband wants to spell it Ryleigh, which I hate. It looks so contrived. As an Allyson with “two Ls and a Y,” I refuse to give my kids names that are either not easy to spell or an uncommon spelling of a common name. I hated the Ryleigh spelling so much that it is now firmly OFF our list.
Oh, and if it helps- I had trouble using my son’s name even when he was born. It just felt so odd to use a name with an actual baby. I called him “the baby” for weeks. Eventually it became easier and now I couldn’t imagine calling him anything else. It had nothing to do with the name, but more of an awkwardness in assigning it to a real live person.
Honestly? Marleigh does look “made up” to me. But I’m not a fan of creative spellings. I worked in a graduate studies office for a while, and I saw first-hand how those spellings negatively effected people’s lives. Of the three options, I’d go with Marley.
Does your husband like the spelling Marley? My husband and I had a list of three possible names when we went into the hospital to have my daughter. One of the names had two prominent spellings–Juno and Juneau–and we disagreed on which we liked. As it turned out, my husband couldn’t even spell “Juneau” off the top of his head. We axed the name immediately. Regardless of which you choose, you’ll have to say and spell the name out loud a lot as your child grows. You both need to be comfortable with it.
What about just Leigh? Leigh Mark!evitz is still a mouthful, but not as bad. On paper, people would know it’s a girl although there would still be confusion hearing it out loud. Plus, Ryan and Leigh sound good together.
I also like the suggestion Greta. Greta Mark!evitz. Greta Revere Mark!evitz, Margaret is too much of a mouthful, so I’d just use Greta. Collette would work with this name, if decide you want to use it later.
Harlow sounds nice, as well. Harlow Mark!evitz. Harlow Revere Mark!evitz. You could use Ryan with this name.
Good luck!
If you like unisex names and “M” names, have you considered Miller (nn Millie)? My husband and I are both fans of unisex names (Ryan was one of our favorites) so here are some others we like in case it strikes a chord: Kyle, Carter (both of these repeat the “k” sound in your last name which is pleasing), Sutton, Arden, and Blake.
This name sounds a little like Marky Mark to me. Anyone else?
Yes! It was familiar, but I couldn’t figure out why. It does have a Marky Mark kind of feel to it. I also find Marleigh difficult with the last name.
Instead of Colette, I love Scarlett for you. It’s a bit more uncommon, but I also thought of Cosima.
What do you think of Cordelia, Cora, Coral, Coraline or Carly?
Similar to Marleigh but not quite-Marla. I also like Swistle’s suggestions of Margo and Mara. Again, all of these have a bit of that Marky Mark sound/feel. An M name without the “ar” would be better, Maeve, Mae, Maya, Mina, Molly.
You say you like unisex names, but I don’t consider Colette or Marleigh to be unisex at all. And Ryan sounds like “boys name on a girl” to me as opposed to something truly unisex like Jordan or Riley. I wonder what you think of something like Rhiannon?
I’m not sure what it is about seeing Colette and Marley/Marleigh together like that, but it reminded me of the number one name on my list of Names I Love But My Husband Doesn’t: Mirabelle. It has some of the qualities of both of the names.
One of the main points Swistle makes that I agree with is that it is quite possible to love a name but for it to not work for one or more reasons. It happened with my first and we started from scratch at 7 months and I am SO glad. My baby was a Josephine, not a Scarlett, even though Scarlett is a wonderful name!
I also agree with the first name/last name concerns. It’s quite a mouthful.
Good luck!
Riley (please don’t spell it Ryleigh!) seems like it would be a fit for you…it’s unisex, it sounds like Ryan and Marleigh, and it sounds good with your last name.
Or going with the feminine name with boyish nickname, I love Swistle’s suggestion of Josephine, nn “Jo”! (“Joey” would also be cute.) Some others:
Katherine: “Kit”
Andrea: “Andie”
Olivia: “Ollie”
Georgia: “Georgie”
Aurora: “Rory”
Juliet/Juliette: “Jules”
Good luck!
LOVE Aurora / Rory Mark!evitz.
You may want to consider Nicolette. It’s a striking, ultra-feminine name with cute, boyish nickname possibilities. My sister is named Nicolette, and she goes by Nic, Nicky, and Nico. There’s also Coco or Lettie.
Great suggestion!
I too am not a fan of the Marleigh spelling. Marleigh/Marley Mark!evitz is a lot of “mar”….
I love the suggestions of Miller nn Millie, Charlotte nn Charlie and Arden.
Im Really liking the idea of Shelby for you…Shelby Revere Mark!evitz…Has a tomboy feel to it.
Here are some other suggestions:
Delaney nn Lane/Laney
Cameron nn Cam/Cammie
Spencer nn Spence (this works wonderfully on a little girl!)
Georgia nn George
Frances nn Frankie
Louisa/Louise nn Lou
Bennett nn Ben
Alexandra nn Alex
I notice the list of negatives is longer than the positives when Swistle lays them out. Also “repulsion” is a pretty strongly negative word. So I might start over, as hard as that sounds. I liked the suggestions of Margo (if you liked the alliteration with the last name) and Celeste (if you didn’t) as similar names to your top two contenders. Colette with Letty as the nn is another interesting idea. Would you like Elle or Ella? They both have the internal L you seem to like.
Marleigh Mark.. Is too much Mar for me. I think that would draw a lot more attention than Marley & Me.
Riley and Scarlett are great suggestions for you.
When I was reading through this, my gut reaction was that if you love Marley/eigh but the spelling absolutely ruins it for you, you might want to try the nickname approach. This would allow you to call her Marley/eigh/ee all the time if you want to, without the hangups regarding spelling and other people’s reactions. The one name that came to mind for me was Marlena. I love this name so much, and I can absolutely see it meshing with names like Colette if you choose to go that route for future children. Marlena, with the nickname Marley virtually eliminates the need to make official a spelling of Marley. You can decide to use the -eigh ending for the times you do spell it, but really all you’ll be getting with this tactic is the comfort of it not being her official “on paper” name. I don’t think anyone would assume Marleigh was trendy if it was a family nickname. And I for one love nothing better than discovering that a current sounding nickname is derived from an unusual but fitting classic.
i know both a Marleigh (real name) and a Marlena called Marlee, and I much prefer the latter. Seems like a great compromise.
This is my question, and I’m so happy it was picked- there are already so many points hitting home for me. Swistle hit upon the root of my problem I think- I can’t separate my feelings from my worry about other people’s opinions.
I didn’t put it in the question because I felt it was getting too long and knew everyone would touch on it anyway, but a big part of my “worrying about what others will think” is Marleigh/Marley with our last name. We like alliteration, but a lot of the time I feel that it’s waaaay too cartoonish- this is the issue with the name that’s causing the revulsion. My husband and all our close family love it though (which is surprising in itself since I assumed they would be way too traditional to like it). Nothing we like sounds great with his last name and I’ve accepted that, but this may just be too cutesy for me. I don’t know why I can’t let the name go though; I’ve let hundreds of other names go over the years. A lot of which other people have suggested- Arden (my absolute favorite since I was a kid, but husband doesn’t like it), Marin (can’t use because it rhymes with my name), Holland/Hollis (don’t like the nn Holly).
At my husband’s urging, since writing in, we did take a break and then start actively trying to come up with more choices. So now the list is:
Marley (I think everyone’s right and this spelling will solve at least one of my issues with it)
Harper (We both love it, but it’s more popular than I wanted. However, after the Swistle post recently about the actual density of popular names and doing the research in our state, we think we can get over this.)
Sawyer (I’m worried that the initials SM will make people think of S &M. No one else I’ve mentioned this to sees it though.)
Ryan (Would need a more feminine middle name, and I think it’s definitely in 4th place right now)
Piper (We like it a lot, but husband says it’s a distant 5th for him)
Have you considered Hadley? It seems like a natural fit with your list.
Or Ruby, Cassidy, Holland, or Carson? Wren, Auden, Laurel, Ellery? I wish your husband would come around to Arden. Arden Mark!evitz sounds sophisticated.
Arden made me think of Eden.
The double Mar- sound of Marleigh and Mark… is too much for me– not a combo I’d want for myself. Go with your gut feeling and look for a name that flows better as a whole.
Good luck!!
i am definitely anti-Ryan for girls. Sorry :(
but I love Harper. Marlena nn Marley/Marlee whatever is lovely. Sawyer is all boy to me, and the initials SM would be a dealbreaker for me. Piper is really nice, too.
others in a similar vein:
Hadley
Shelby
Tatum
Sloane
Sydney
Marlowe
Ellery
Emerson
Finley
What about:
Avery
Bailey
Brett
Gracen
Lane
Quinn
Reagan
Rowan
Sydney
Oh, and what about Clementine with the nickname Clem?
I think I’m in the minority here, but I think you should reconsider Colette! I also second guess myself when I go to say this name aloud, but the more I practice it, the more comfortable it is. Do any of these pronunciations make it easier (http://www.forvo.com/word/colette/)?
I agree with others that Marleigh Mark!___ is a little much. It could be cute for her as a kid (kind of like Harriet Harris, from the book “Harriet, You’ll Drive Me Wild”), but I don’t see it aging well. Do you like the name Orla? Or might you like a feminine name that gives you the nickname Arlo?
Orla Revere Mark!evitz
Arlette (Arlo) Revere Mark!evitz
Colette (Cole, Lettie, Etta) Revere Mark!evitz
Ariana (Ari) Revere Mark!evitz
Happy naming!
I’m going to be an odd one out and say I like the spelling. I worried about the same thing for our daughter as we liked the name Hartley, but I didn’t like the spelling. Our baby is due in January and we are naming her Heartleigh. We have gotten many compliments on it. I bet if you really like the name and you write it out and read it a few times the spelling will grow on you. Good luck!
I don’t like Marleigh because of the spelling. I prefer Colette with nicknames Coco and Lettie.
I love the suggestion of Nicolette: it includes Colette with lots of nickname possibilities.
Here are some more names (and their nicknames) that you might like:
– Danielle (nn Dani, Ellie, Elle)
– Alexandra (nn Alex, Lexie)
– Julietta (nn Jules, Etta, Jetta)
– Calista (nn: Cal, Lissie)
– Veronica (nn Ronnie, Nica, Vera)
– Aurora (nn Rory)
– Maxine (nn Max, Minnie)
– Matilda (nn Mattie, Tilda, Tillie)
– Cornelia (nn Cory, Nellie, Lia)
– Helena (nn Lena, Lennie/Lenny)
– Josephine (nn Jo)
– Allegra (nn Al, Allie)
– Camille (nn Cam, Cammie, Millie)
– Romilly (nn Roe, Romy, Millie)
I don’t like the spelling of Marleigh – but to be fair, I also don’t really like Marley as a name for girls. But I am a reactionary crank who apparently lives permanently in 1885, because the kinds of names I like for girls are things like Edith and Sadie.
I will say that “Marleigh Mark!evitz”, if the ! stands for L, is really hard to say. The RL and RKL repeat make me stumble. So that’s something I would weigh more heavily, as an objective issue, than whether or not people like me like the name Marleigh or consider it made-up, you know?
I really like Margo/Margot from Swistle’s suggestions, I think it’s brisk and modern and feminine without being fluffy and too-girly. I know an adult who spells it Margaux, which I find lovely. She often goes by “Go”, which I think is a really fun nickname that has that effortless-cool quality so often missing from names people pick intentionally for a specific nickname. I think “Go” on a little girl would be adoooooooorable. Margaux Mark!evitz, “Go”. Cute!
I think having such complicated thoughts about a name is enough to rule it out. It needn’t be so hard!
Of the names you’re considering, I think Ryan goes really well with your last name, and also goes quite well with Erin & Timothy, which is a consideration that’s not always mentioned–but when you’re signing Christmas cards, there it is–Erin, Timothy, & —-.
Good luck with everything–I didn’t settle on the name for my second baby until after she was a couple of days old, it will all work out.
I do think the Mar- Mar-, both with prominent “L”s may make Marleigh not a fit for you. I sympathize, my husband’s last name (and kids’ last name) is also unusual and prevented us from using many names we liked.
If you do use Sawyer or Ryan for this daughter, would you be happy using a similar traditionally male name for another daughter? What if your second is a boy? (I wish I had thought harder about this question with my first–we had a very traditionally-unisex name choice and a very traditionally-female name and chose the female one for my daughter and a few years later had another girl and I just couldn’t bring myself to switch “themes” and so we went with another traditionally female name for girl #2. I wish I had thought more about choosing a name genre as opposed to picking one of the two names.)
I wonder if you might like Everly? Or Payton, Paisley, Aubrey, Hayley, Reese? And I love Harper, and I think goes well with your last name actually.
Normally I’m not a fan of unusual spellings, but I love Marleigh. It seems quite natural to me and I much prefer it to Marley for a girl. I also love Another Heather’s suggestion of Marlena with the nickname Marleigh. Another suggestion in the same vein is Marlise.
I’m with the majority here and see too many strikes against Marleigh (spelling, last name, etc).
Out of your new options, I like Piper and Harper the best. To me Sawyer and Ryan fall too far on the boys’ side.
From other readers, I’d second: Andrea, Olivia, Cameron, Spencer, Shelby, Payton, Aubrey, Avery
And a few more suggestions: Darcy or Darby, Whitney
Please let us know what you decide!
I like the name Marley and, combined with the surname, it actually sounds quite distinguished. Not easily forgettable that’s for sure! Have you also considered the spelling Mali? This spelling appears more “grown up” to me.
Marley is also very similar sounding to Molly. Molly Mark!evitz is just so great!
If you wanted to use it as a nickname, I’ve always loved Mariella or Marielle. Marlo is cute too!
Colette is a lovely name and the suggestion of Nicolette is a great one. So many nicknames to choose from!
Colette immediately made me think of Claudia and Chloe which both sound fantastic with your surname.
All the best!
What about Emilia Mark!evitz nn Millie or Caroline Mark!evitz nn Carrie? Love!
I feel like you are “over” the name Marley/Marleigh/etc. Perhaps it is time for you and your husband to find another name off your list.
My vote from your short list would be Harper or Sawyer.
What I would do with the sibling names:
If you go with Harper and you have a boy, I’d go with Walker. Harper and Walker.
If you go with Sawyer, and you have a boy, I’d go with Wyatt. Sawyer and Wyatt.
See.. I think Harper and Sawyer go best with your future children names in terms of styling… not that that should be a make or break, but those two would be my picks. I think I prefer Sawyer to be honest as I think it is less popular for a female and would be super cute if you paired it with an ultra feminine middle name.
Good luck!
What about Lorelei with the nickname Rory? It’s from Gilmore Girls but I also think it totally works in this situation. Rory has all of spunk of the “not so girly” names you like such as Marley and Riley while Lorelei seems to have the “feminine but not common” charm of Colette.
Marley and Riley to me sound like pet names (probably because of the Marley and Me book) but they can also work on humans. I would use the traditional spellings- everything else seems a little made up.
I don’t think you will regret it if you go with Harper. I actually prefer Marley (this spelling) even with your last name. I know an 8 year old Marley and she is spunky and charming. The name suits her perfectly. But other than popularity, it sounds like Harper is a name that both of you can get behind. I don’t know any Harper’s and don’t believe it is as popular as you think.
I see Marley as fitting as a nickname for your last name!!! I knew a woman who as a child went by a nickname of her last name and then as an adult went by her first name. Some of her childhood friends still call her the nickname of her now maiden name. So I see merit in naming her Harper since it’s your current top runner and using nn Marley.
I thought of a name that’s similar to Marleigh, while avoiding the repeating sounds with the last name.
Raleigh
It even has a similar spelling, without it being a creative spelling.
How about Marisol?
I don’t like any of the spellings except Marleigh. It makes it look like it should have the “ay” sound but is pronounced “ee” when said quickly. I feel like the “ee” sound makes the names sound very very young, or like the dog. But the “eigh” makes the name older.
I am usually not a fan of contrived spellings either but this works for me.
for marley – I have also seen Marli, Marlei
for marley as a nickname – Marlena, Marlowe, Marcella, Mariette
colette also brings to mind cosette
My friend’s daughter’s name is Marlesa but they call her Marley. I wonder if something with the nickname Marley would eliminate having to commit to a spelling?
I forgot to add in, I like the name Colette but LOVE the nn Lettie. :) If you like Colette, what about the name Cosette (like the Cosette in Les Miserables?). Could use nn Coco?
A few thoughts I hope you find helpful!
– We named my son, now 5, my husband’s favourite name (Tully), and I wasn’t sold. I loved it but worried it was too different, and too feminine. I always thought it was a bit unfair because I was the one who spent all the time introducing him to people in his first year and experienced a whole range of reactions to it. (“Gee, Jonathon is an unusual middle name for a girl!”) I spent a lot of time with name doubt. Now 5 years later, I really love the name on him, and because he’s so obviously a boy, people NEVER comment anymore on his name. Maybe it’s just something that lasts for the baby stage – when their name is everything about them?
– I never say my kids’ names with their last name. I also rarely hear my whole name outloud. For me it was something that happened a couple of times a year at awards and the first role call. I think if you have a tricky surname, it shouldn’t be a deal breaker. (in my opinion)
– I have the less common spelling of my name and it was spelled wrong all the time and I didn’t care. My parents were really relaxed about it. I’m always careful to get other people’s names right, and I know it really bugs some people, but I don’t feel like it’s defined me. Though, maybe if it was Jodee, I would have been more embarrassed by it…
I love Swistle’s category of “Names we love but aren’t right for us”. I think understanding this has made the process so much less anxiety ridden 3rd time around! :)
I think Marley is a nice name, and the alliteration doesn’t bother me per se. Some other names that remind me of Marley are:
Malese
Marlise
Marlene
Harper Revere is also a very nice name. You can’t go wrong basically :)
Other names that strike me as possibly being your taste include:
Cosette
Greer/Grier
Hollis
Carys
Eden
Clemency
I think if you have to try so hard to make a name work, it’s really not an option. Like someone said, it shouldn’t be this hard! I don’t like the spelling Marleigh; Marley is better, but I don’t like it with the surname. It is definitely a Marky Mark vibe.
I think you’ve finally narrowed down your naming style though! I think Harper is a great pick for you. I love this name! Piper is also a favorite. I agree Ryan is all boy – and Sawyer is ok but I prefer it for a boy too.
Would you like Juniper?
A friend of mine recently named her baby girl Marley, and honestly, my first thought was “like the dog?”. But, now that I’ve known cute baby girl Marley for a while, I pretty much only think of it as a little girl name and don’t really associate it with the dog much at all anymore. I think the name works great if you love it, but I wouldn’t change the spelling.
Have you watched Glee? There is a character named Marley on that. Maybe it’s an idea to watch an episode or two and see if that makes you like the name more (moving the name away from the dog association)