B. writes:
Hi Swistle! I’m not a mommy or mommy to be yet, but I hope to be one day! I have an age old dilemma that I know you’ve addressed many times in your blog – but I have a little bit of an added layer. I am a first generation Indian. I was born in India, but have lived in the states since I was 2. I absolutely adore my native culture. I embrace it as much as I can, and I hope to instill as much of the Indian culture as I can in my future children.
My dilemma is with the Indian names, as I’m sure you’ve already guessed otherwise I wouldn’t be writing to you! I have a very hard to pronounce, spell, wrap your brain around even, kind of traditional Indian name. It is pronounced Bar-guh-vee. To this day, I dread any kind of public calling out of my name. I remember as a child I would get close to panic attacks during first day of school roll call, or when we would have substitute teachers. I quickly learned to predict when my name was next on the alphabetical class list, and I would raise my hand before the teacher even got a chance to get a confused look. Even to this day, as a working professional, I never really got over that anxiety and frustration that comes with my name. I hate having to repeat myself 6-7 times before the name clicks with people. I hate introducing myself during business meetings to new clients. I don’t like the awkwardness of having to let mispronunciations of my name slide for the sake of time. As silly as it may sound to you or your readers, it really did have an effect on me growing up regarding self-esteem and confidence.
I don’t want to bestow the same fate on my children. I want names that they can wear proudly. My parents would absolutely expect Indian names for their grandchildren, I don’t even have to ask. I know there are many beautiful Indian names, but many are hard to pronounce. The ones that are easily crossed over into the American culture such as Annika or Dhruv or Rohan or Priya or Esha are so overdone and just not my style. And I don’t want to pick a name that I don’t love just because it is Indian and easy to pronounce. Even if there were an Indian name that I LOVED but was difficult to pronounce I would go with it, but difficult to pronounce is just not my naming style!
The names that I love are largely American or Western European. Helene, Isla, and Eliza are scrawled in diary entries from years ago as my favorite names. I am just so torn, because I know a part of me would feel like such a fraud and a fake if I gave my child an American name. We had a cousin of ours who named her son a very American name, and I will be the first to admit, I even raised my eyebrows at it a little. My family was definitely not on board with it, and I’m so worried about their reactions. I know the typical advice is, “it’s YOUR baby, name him/her whatever YOU want!” But the Indian family dynamics (or at least mine) are a little more complicated than that. You just don’t tell your parents that their opinions don’t matter. And what’s more, their opinions DO matter to me. I would never ever be fully committed or fully ok with something without their blessing. And on top of that, a name can hold so many cultural ties in it. I want my kids to be proud of their Indian heritage. I don’t want our heritage to dissipate over the next few generations.
Phew! I wrote you an entire book didn’t I?! And I’m not even pregnant yet! I was just curious to see what your or your reader’s opinions on this issue are, or if anyone has gone through this before!
Thanks and much love!
This reminds me of the issue some parents have written to us about naming traditions. The entire family is assuming there will be a little Jupes Elmor Foster VI, but the expectant parents don’t like any of the names or nicknames. Nor do they want to be the ones to break the tradition, and maybe they like the idea of naming traditions, and also the history/connections. And they love that side of the family and don’t want to disappoint or upset or anger or hurt them.
The trouble is that there is no solution that makes everyone happy. They will have to do one or the other: either use a name they wouldn’t otherwise have chosen, or else cause the fuss and disappointment. And that is also the situation you find yourself in: you will have to either use a name you wouldn’t otherwise have chosen, or else cause the fuss and disappointment. Your choice is either to use a name you’d like to use, or else to use a name your parents would like you to use. Going with what your parents want is a completely legitimate choice, just as it is when parents choose to continue the naming tradition set by their ancestors.
You’ve presented the issues very clearly, and I don’t see a solution that will make everyone happy. You want to give your children names they can wear proudly—but first you define this as a name that is not difficult/Indian like yours, and then you define it as a name that connects to your heritage. And so when the time comes to name a baby, you’ll have to look at all the issues and weigh them: which ones weigh more? which ones weigh less? If there is no getting around the Indian family dynamic, then you’ll move to the next hard decision: you’ll have to choose between an easy-crossover Indian name you find boring, or a difficult-to-pronounce Indian name that is also not your style. (Given the choice between “boring and not your style” and “hard to pronounce and not your style,” I think I’d go with boring.)
Are your parents aware that there will likely be a second person involved in naming your children? I will believe you if you tell me they will absolutely expect you to give your children Indian names no matter what, but it seems like by moving you to another country they must have realized that this could end in you marrying someone not from India, and choosing names from the country where you grew up instead of from the country where you were born. It also seems as if they must have considered that the other parent might have pressures from their own family/country, and may want the baby to be proud of that heritage as well, and that this will mean a compromise will need to take place. If this has genuinely not occurred to them, perhaps this time before a baby is on the way would be a nice low-pressure time to bring it up.
If I were you, I think I would also be spending this time looking for a loophole. I don’t know anything about Indian names in general or about what your family would consider acceptable, but I’m thinking along these lines:
1. An Indian name with a nickname that sounds United States-y. For example, your nicknames could be Bee/Bea, or Barb, or Vee. (You could in fact use that method yourself right now for meetings, saying, “Hi! Nice to meet you! Call me Bea!”)
2. An Indian name with the American or Western European middle name you would have used as the first name if there were no family pressures. The child could go by the middle name at school if he/she wanted to. Our school system even has a place on the paperwork for “Name child would like to be called,” which I’m guessing puts the name of choice directly on the first-day-of-school roll-call sheet. (Or the child could use the Indian name, but you could contact the teacher before the school year began and give them a little pronunciation key.)
3. Your choice of American or Western European first name, with an Indian middle name and the understanding that your side of the family will call the child by the Indian name.
4. An Indian name with a more United States-ish spelling, to make it easier to pronounce—the way we change the Irish spelling Catriona to Katrina, or Meadhbh to Maeve.
I think it would also help to separate some issues out a bit. For example, your children can be proud of their Indian heritage and have ties to it, even if they don’t have Indian names. They can find their ties to that heritage becoming diluted even if they do have Indian names. They can be proud of or embarrassed by their names whether those names are Indian or Western European. And “choosing a name you LOVE” is a very United States concept that might be incompatible with the heritage you’re trying to preserve and the family your children will be born into.
Assuming the children’s other parent is okay with it and has no additional heritage issues to incorporate into the name, I’d suggest Indian first names with United States-ish nicknames, and names you love as middle names. I’d spin it as a combination of the two countries you love: “Where we’re from, and where we are now.”
I went to a high school with a pretty large Indian population (NJ), and what I found is that as long as the names were spelled phonetically it wasn’t much of a problem. Subs and first day of school roll call are always bad — even just for us kids with whitebread first names and any type of surname over four letters. One of my best friends was a girl named Samhita. It’s such a beautiful name — I’ve always joked that I want to name my daughter after her! It’s pretty hard to mispronounce, and has the easy nickname Sam. I was also friends with a girl named Rohini, which also fits those same characteristics, with the adorable nickname Ro.
I had two very good friends growing up that were From Indian families, my friends were first generation Americans. Both are girls who had one sibling, a younger sister. The first friend has an Indian first name, while her (six years) younger sister has an American (originated from Russia) first name. They just loved her little sister’s name after hearing it and had no qualms using it.
my other friend has an American first name and Indian middle name. Her younger sister has an Indian first name. My friend would tell no one her middle name, she was deeply embarrassed by it and it was always removed from her name at school functions, her wedding announcement, etc.
I share this just to show that it is probably best to give your child a name that you love and find beautiful and that you think your child would be proud to have. My friends’ families are very active in the Indian communities and their culture and still used a mixture of American and Indian names for their daughters. neither girl was more or less Indian based on where her name came from, those were just the names that the parents loved at the time.
Depending on where in the states you live, the pronunciation issue you faced as a kid is less of an issue now. My son had a Pranav, a Kritti, a Sudha, and a Rajnesh (among other kids of Indian descent) in his class last year. There are lots of beautiful names that both meet your criteria and will make your parents happy.
I think two factors are going to work in your favour 1) the world is becoming more multicultural so people are exposed to many different naming styles (even if it’s just through the media)- a kid with a name from another culture doesn’t stand out as much as might have in the past; and 2) unusual names are a big thing now so even if you pick a name that’s a little hard to pronounce/spell in the US your kid won’t be alone in their struggle.
I like Swistle’s idea of picking an Indian name with a more “Western” nickname that your child could use at their discretion. However, I also think there are a lot of really awesome Indian names that wouldn’t cause any excess burden- I once knew a little girl from India named Rhea (Ray-a) which is a beautiful name. She didn’t seem to have any trouble with it.
I think a lot of this will come down to your partner too- you could end up married to a firstname last name III which opens up a whole other can of worms.
One of my son’s best friends in school is Satvika. He had no problem with how to pronounce it and quickly taught me the correct pronunciation. It’s really a beautiful name and fairly intuitive so I would hope you could find something you loved that fit those criteria.
Also, I would guess the vast majority of children have to correct spelling or pronounce their last name and often times their first name so I wouldn’t put too much of your personal experience onto them. It’s hard not to do that!
But overall I would go with what you love, not what people expect.
I agree with Swistle, and quite a few of the commenters as well! Depending on where you live, it may not even be an issue if there is a large Indian population; however, I can still completely appreciate your dilemma.
My suggestion has already been covered, but this is what I would do.
1) Pick an Indian name that you LOVE for the first name. Choose a name that you love. Don’t worry about the pronunciation or spelling, pick one that you love and that way it will stay true to your heart and to your culture because realistically, you will hear that name used A LOT even if it’s just from your family. It would have added benefits if there was a shortened nickname that could pass as American/European. (eg. above, Samhita, nn Sam. Actually, this is a very beautiful name!) but don’t settle on a name that you don’t like just for this factor. Then choose a middle name that is American/European that you LOVE. Once the baby is born, you could decide what fit right with you, your partner, and your babe as to what name you choose to call it, either the first name or by its middle name. You could also call the babe by its first and middle name together if they flow nicely, that way the child gets accustomed to hearing both names as he/she grows up. Recognizing that in presence of your family, the Indian name will prevail and when out in public you can choose whether to go by first or middle name. It is very common for people to go by their middle name… sometimes a hassle, but for the most part, it’s not odd or out there.
2) You could do the reverse, first name American and middle name Indian. Once again, choose names that you LOVE as the child will likely be called both at some points.
3) I wonder if you could find an Indian name that you love that is common in the American households? For example, there are quite a few actresses/actors, talk show hosts or chefs that are quite popular and this would maybe reduce the confusion with pronunciation at school/work/etc. I would actually start with that list first!
Do you have a partner? Is he Indian? Because as Swistle said, you also will have to take his preferences into consideration with names and I hope that your family would recognize this as well. I think Swistle also brought up a good point that someone can have a traditional name and not be in touch with their culture, or vice versa, could have an american name but be raised in their culture and love and appreciate it. This conversation could also ease the tension with your family, especially if you choose to have an Indian name in the middle rather than first.
Good luck!
I went to school with a Pranshu and after the first couple of days most teacher got a hang of it.Other Indian names that you could use:
Vikram-possible nn “Vik”
Gita
Rahim
Roshan
Kamal
How about Shazia, Sarmishta, or Saren? All familiar names in my North American city.
I am a 1st gen American and recently found myself struggling with the same question when it came to naming my firstborn. My family is from Croatia/Bosnia, and I have a Slavic name that I only came to love in my adult life. Growing up, it was constantly mispronounced and made fun of. I wanted to pass on the cultural heritage but without cumbersome sounds and spellings, but the few options I found available were too boring and overused for my taste. I tried an American spelling of an old family name, and didn’t fall in love with that either. In the end, we gave our son an American first name we loved, and as the middle name we actually picked a word for an architectural element used in Balkan churches (that totally passes as a name, is beautiful and easy to pronounce). So we had to get really creative to find a good solution for all my competing naming goals, do lots of research, but we did end up with a name that fulfilled all my criteria. Now I didn’t have the family pressure, so they get the homage even if it’s not a traditional or even family name. But just in case there is a little room for you to get creative with your heritage too, I wanted to share my story!
I love Indian names! But since I have no real gauge for how dated a name may sound to another culture, I’m worried to make suggestions! It sounds to me that Indian names for your future children would make you feel happier all around. But the important thing will be finding names you love unconditionally. Nowadays, spelling one’s name is sort of an expected problem (what with all the Emersynnes and Hayleighs out there). I wouldn’t be turned off a beautiful Indian name you love just because you suspect your child will have to spell it. Since you grew up here and know what names are considered pleasing and which aren’t, I don’t think any name you give your future child will illicit feelings of dread during roll call.
I really like the suggestion of an Indian first name with a western middle name. If respecting your parents’ wishes is more important than having a little Eliza running around, then the middle is a great place to hide your favorites! Or you could search for Indian equivalents: Elina for Helene, Ila for Isla, Elakshi for Eliza…again, I have no idea if these are hopelessly dated! Also, I’m aware that there is a great deal of variance by region/religion…most of the Indian friends/acquaintances I have are Hindu, with names like Kavita, Priti, Reshma, Ritika, Varsha…to name a few
As someone who was given a “safe” name, I can tell you honestly I have never felt any attachment to it whatsoever. I know it’s mine, but it’s so incredibly dull and expected on women my age that I just never even think about it. I don’t hate it, but I find it rather nondescript. My poor children will likely be given extreme heritage choices, names I WISH I’d grown up with…perhaps that’s another approach to try. What name do you wish you had been called?
my son’s best friend’s parents were both born in india and moved to the states as children. my son’s best friend’s name is arjun and he has been called him a.j. since he was born. their two younger sons are boaz, called bo, and naveen, called navi. i think picking an indian name with an easier-to-recognize middle name works perfectly!
i also know a anjali called anju, which i think is gorgeous and easy to pronounce, an anjan, an ashim (ashi), and a pranav. even though those names were not familiar to me when i first heard them, i still loved them.
My first thought before Swistle got to it was to give your child an Indian name you like that also has a more American sounding nickname. For boys, something like the previously mentioned A.J. seems simple enough. For girls, I like the idea of the previously mentioned Samhita called Sam or using Bea for a name that starts with the letter B, etc. Seeing as how nicknames have a lot more wiggle room than they used to, it seems that something like this would give you the most options.
There are many wonderful Indian names to choose from that could be learned as people get more worldly. But it is also worth mentioning there are many names that are either names popular or familiar in India that are familiar English names as well. Some good examples of a name that is both popular in India and in the Us would be Sonia or Sara or Mariam. Other options that would be familiar to Indians include Gabriel Samuel or Raul.
I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that most Indians would know, Helen, quite close to the mentioned Helene, one of the best remembered Bollywood actresses.
Since you have some time to think about this, I’d suggest not committing to any particular approach yet, and just working on having an open mind. Keep a lookout for Indian names that are easy for non-Indians to pronounce…there’s so many of them I have a hard time believing that they’re all overdone (how about Lalitha? Or Simrin? Sharmila? Shuvo? Tejal? Harish? Meena? Mita? Ashwin?). And if part of your problem is that you like names that are fresh and novel like Isla and Helene, and the traditional Indian names don’t have that same feel to you, maybe you need to look for something that’s Indian, but not so traditional. We know a couple who named their daughter Uma…which according to the husband’s description is not a common name for little girls in India, but it does come from Indian mythology. Maybe you could find something similar that appeals to both you and your parents.
i know a sonali, its gorgeous and she never has any trouble with it!
our neighbor is indian and her husband is british. their two boys have indian first names (to honor her side) and western middle names (to honor his side). both kids go by western nicknames. to me, the “indian name with easy nickname” seems like the best solution!
anyway, our neighbors kids are… chetan eli (chet – different pronunciation [chay vs cheh] but it works just fine) & nikhil james (nik).
I was going to sugest googling “British Indian names” because I’ve seen similar queries come up a lot on British baby naming websites. Obviously British and American names aren’t exactly the same, but might be of some help.
Sonali, Shanti, Anjali. Wish I could name a daughter one of those names! So pretty.
My brother is married to a first-generation Japenese-American (she immigrated here as an adult so her family is still in Japan), and they had a similar dilemma when they named their daughter. They went the route Swistle suggested–a Japanese first name (it’s an obscure gemstone name, and they tweaked the English spelling because coincidentally it’s my brother’s best friend’s middle name) with our grandmother’s name in the middle. So they managed to choose a name full of meaning for them, that honors naming traditions on both sides of the family, and that both her grandparents in Japan and her American peers can pronounce. It may not have been their favorite name, but with so many competing priorities, meaning trumped style. So it’s possible! Keep looking, I hope you find the perfect name for you.
Personally, I find it easier to pronounce and remember unfamiliar names that are short, so I would suggest keeping your list of potential names to those that are two syllables or less. My sister-in-law’s name is really quite easy to pronounce as it is spelled phonetically, but since it’s three syllables, lots of people stumble over it.
I strongly agree that your parents brought you up in America and therefore they do need to accept that you are very much a part of American culture. Just as you want to use a name to honor your Indian heritage you may want to frame using a Western name as a nod to your new American roots. For example, if you use a Western name I would make sure it is one that is say, the name of a favorite character in a Western novel or a historical figure you admire.
That all being said, I think it would be lovely if you are able to incorporate an Indian name you like into your future child’s name. I really like the idea of using using an Indian middle name and a Western first name, or vice versa, so that your family could call him/her by either choice. Or even better, an Indian name with a Western nickname – that is charming!
Also, you don’t mention whether you are married and whether your husband is Indian. I think the child’s last name comes into play here. If it is Indian then I would think you have more room to use a Western name because the child will always have that connection. If you married someone with the last name Smith, that changes the naming strategy I would think.
This about last names is a really good question. There is a big difference in feel between a Sharmila Bjarara, Sharmila Johnson, Helene Johnson, and Helene Bjarara..
Most Indian women I know go by nicknames… so that seems very normal to me. Sharmila could be Mila for example.
My former employers were from Indian. Some of the names that I loved are: Alisha, Aradhana, Afshan, Leena, Simi (Smriti), Seema, Ashanti, Neev, Raju, Akshay, Jatinder, Vijay. I think all of these names are wearable in the US. Good luck and God bless!
Jumping back in because this topic’s been sticking with me.
I do a lot of political canvassing (over 40,000 lifetime doors), so I meet a LOT of people, and have to pronounce their names right when reading them from a list and the thing is, it makes me really annoyed that teachers and whatnot don’t just do what I do.
Take a deep breath. Look at the name. Split it up into syllables, and say it. Like Thirugnanamoorthy. Sure, it’s long, but it’s easy to say if you just take a second. Thee-roog-na-na-mur-thee. It’s actually easier than a name like Yvonne, and Americans only think it isn’t because it’s less familiar.
If your main concern is people reading the name first and not knowing how to pronounce it, then a non-judgemental forum like this could be a good place to test them out. Do you have any contenders?
Also, I think the key to being able to pronounce an unfamiliar/foreign name would be if it was short.
Another thing to consider about the name fitting in with Western names is that “light” sounds are currently in style (i’s, a’s, l’s, etc) whereas the harder/harsher sounds are not. I’m probably not explaining this very well but Swistle may have done a post on it in the past.
What I’m trying to get at is that a Lakshmi would fit in better with the Ellas and Olivias than a Baktri would, even though they’re pretty similar names.
All the best.
I work with someone named Avani, and I think it’s a beautiful name! Just throwing it out there as a contender for one day, hahaha. :-)
I am a caucasian American but grew up in an area with a relatively large Indian population. Some of my classmates had the names Priyanka, Priya, Parinda, Shanti, Mala,, Deena, Krishna, Nandita, and Nirali for girls and Suken, Akshay, Vijay, Rikin, Karthi, and Akaash for boys. All of these names are easy to pronounce and a lot of them are really beautiful/handsome names – too!
I tend to think there are Indian names out there that are not difficult (for non-Indians) to say and that you will love. I think many Indian names are beautiful. My college freshman son was talking about his friends in his dorm and at least 2 of them had Indian names (American-born). Kids in the US today (in a lot of areas) are used to coming across people with names from other cultures. The type of Indian name that might be hard to use here is one that is very long – just for example, Harishchandra (I am a medical transcriptionist and there are a lot of doctors from India – this was one of them – he went by Harish).
Thought I’d copy across a Facebook comment in case you didn’t see it:
Katie says: “I have a Nihar, Suraj, Rupa, Sachit, Anirud, Rishabh at my daycare. Really cool names!”
I’d like to add that the Indian people I know have amazing names, and I agree that the only problem is the first day of school: one correction (if that) and you’re done. I have to do that with my name (Jemima) anyway!
Some names that I think are lovely and would work in an English-speaking country include:
Mira
Amala
Indira (nn Indi)
Mina
Harpreet (nn Harper?)
Asha
Sarita
Kiran
Raj
Lochan (nn Lochy?)
Nikhil (nn Nik/Nick)
Best of luck!
Let’s see, easy to prounounce Indian names that I’ve encountered…..Hetel, Aria, Priya, Arnav, Aparna, Nevil, Varun, Punit. Honestly, most of the ones I’ve encountered haven’t been that complicated. Pretty phonetic. I’d stick to the most phonetic and not worry too much :) Footnote, I had no idea that Annika was Indian. Learn something new every day!
My favorite Indian name for a girl is Avni – very similar to the “American” Ava. I’m sure you’ll find a name you love and once your parents see their future grandbaby they will love them regardless, I’m sure.
My college roommate was called Raditha, nicknamed Rad, which suited her. Her friend was Meena.
I am going to Thanksgiving dinner at Lalitha’s house, we call her Lal.
And my high school friend married a second-generation Indian man and they have a son called Nayan.
All lovely names!
I think back on all the Polish last names we had at my high school–our teachers managed eventually.
Pick a name you love!
Ooops, it should have been Radhika above!
I’m blessed to not be in this situation, but I can speak as someone who has an uncommon foreign name that’s hard for people to spell/pronounce (and with an uncommon, foreign last name that’s equally, if not more so, hard to spell, pronounce). Give your child a name you love, regardless of how difficult it is for the average American to deal with. If you love it, it will rub off on your child. My name is uniquely mine, and it is a huge part of my identity. If my parents had taken the safe way out, I don’t think that would be true for me. My name has history, meaning, heritage, and I love it. Sure, I wanted to change my name plenty of times when I was younger because yeah, it can get really darn annoying to spell, pronounce, explain, but in the end, it’s worth it.
My one option to you is that if you have a girl, name her India. Sarah McLachlan did that with her daughter, whose father is Indian, and I plan to do something similar with my future child (using a place name to honor heritage). Another option is to use a word or something creative like that (like a previous commenter mentioned). For example, I’ve considered naming a future child “Ama” which means water in Tsalagi (and salt, but whatever) or Wil, for Wilma Mankiller, to honor my rez-born Cherokee grandmother. And my name is a place name and not generally a given name.
Just my two cents.
I can also speak as someone who has an uncommon foreign name that’s hard for people to spell/pronounce, and I’m going to offer the opposite opinion. Go with something easy for native English-speakers to manage and spare your kids the torment. Someone earlier mentioned choosing names which are phonetic, and that’s definitely a good idea; highly non-phonetic ones can be miserable things to have to bear.
I agree. I have a hard-to-pronounce-and-spell name, have struggled with it all my life. I began using a nickname is college, and just changed it legally at age 36.
Asha is one of my favorite names – just plain favorites. It’s beautiful!
I had a student once named Anisha. She was Indian so I’m assuming it’s also an Indian name. I always thought it was cool!
I haven’t read all the comments, so forgive me if I am repeating, but . . .
1. I agree that there are TONS of great Indian names that are relatively easy to pronounce. It sounds like yours is harder than most, but if you stick to two-syllable names or nicknames, I think you’ll find that people can figure it out after one or two tries fairly easily. Here are some of my favorites:
Neha
Mira
Suma
Sudha
Medha
Anu
Gita
2. I am a teacher. These days there are lots of “American” names that I don’t pronounce correctly on the first try! Teacher confusion is a much more expected event these days than it used to be.
3. I had a difficult name for teachers to learn — mostly because my last name was a common first name, causing people to get really confused and consistently mess up my name any time that they were reading it from a list where both my first and last names were printed near each other. I understand your frustrations and the anxiety that comes with folks messing it up, but I think it’s becoming a more manageable dilemma as unusual names become more common. (And by that I don’t mean that the popularity of these names is increasing, but rather that having an unusual name is becoming more common.)
I lived in India for a few years, and personally find a lot of Indian names beautiful.
Some of the ones I can think of that are easy to pronounce and would fit right in amongst English speakers are:
Reena/Rena
Shyla
Sonia / Soni, I understand that Soni means gold, and you could easily add an “a” and get a pretty, popular name that’s cross-cultural
Naina/Nina
Some of these are even names that you’d find in English anyways.
I also met two girls where I was volunteering, American and British, named Anita and Verena, and people in India constantly told them they had beautiful names, maybe because the names sound indian ie. both “An-” and “-ita” are familiar sounds in Indian names, and I think Verena is also a Hindi name?
I just reread my comment and maybe I didn’t say it very clearly – what I was trying to suggest was that you can find Indian names that are also English names, like Sonia or Rena, or English names that sound Indian, like Anita and Verena.
Aashna, Sonali, Pooja, or Nidhi are my suggestions of beautiful Indian names I’ve heard! :)
I know it’s been a few months, but I wanted to give a different perspective. I grew up with an 11 letter confusing Polish surname that looked nothing like it was said, and that was the easy pronunciation. And I LOVED it. I loved the strong cultural heritage, I loved the weird way it was spelled (I remember with great pride when I first learned how to spell it because it was an achievement), I loved how there was no one else with that name in all the five states and eight types of schools I went to (Army kid, it happens), and I knew that those who actually took the time to learn how to say and spell it properly really cared and were awesome.
In school I actually relished waiting for the teacher try to say my name first day of school, it was fun to see their gears try to process it and not mess up. But I never made them feel bad for getting it wrong, I was simply proud to be able to declare my last name even they couldn’t say it again later. It inspired the people around me to ask questions and it would sometimes lead to surname discussions.
If I see someone in paper with the same last name, there’s this feeling of connection even though I have no clue who they are. I just know that they are my people.
Everything is in past tense because I now have a very Nigerian Yoruba last name courtesy of my husband. It’s pretty cool in its own right and much easier to spell, but stills startles people. So the fun continues.
I’m sorry that you felt that your name was stressful, but hopefully your kids will adore it rather than tolerate it.