Allison writes:
I love your blog and was reading it even before being pregnant. I am hoping you will be able to help with our baby naming dilemma.
We have baby boy # 2 arriving in 25 days. My husband and I cannot agree on a name and are starting to panic. My husband has now resorted to throwing out random names that we have never even considered just hoping something sticks.
My name is Allison and my husband’s name is Vincent. Our last name is Donner with a C. We already have a 5 year old son named Brayden. His middle name is a family name and is shared by his father and grandfather. Baby # 2 is a boy and will be our last child.
Before you read any further I will throw out the hardest part of our baby naming conundrum. My husband, myself, and our first son all have seven letters in our first names and I really want this baby to have a seven letter name also. Since we are not having any more children, I think we should be able to accomplish this.
My husband loves the name Patrick. We found out we were pregnant St. Patrick’s weekend and his family has Irish roots so he thinks the name is perfect. Patrick was also on the list when we had our first son. I feel like I rejected the name for our first child so why would I choose it for this child? Also, when we first got pregnant with this child I told several people I “hated” the name Patrick and now feel like I backed myself into a corner. To be honest, I do not “hate” the name Patrick but I do not like the obvious nicknames of Pat and Rick and would be very upset if people called my son by either of those nicknames. I also feel like my husband and his family are really pulling for Patrick and feel a bit pushed into the name.
The middle name won’t be as difficult. Since our first son’s middle name came from my husband’s side of the family this son’s middle name will come from my side of the family. We have several contenders we like and are waiting to choose a first name to see what fits.
Names we have on our list for this baby are:
Patrick (husband’s favorite)
Bennett (my favorite for a long time but husband doesn’t care for it and I am starting to fall out of love with it because I’m afraid people won’t think of it as a first name)
Griffin (husband doesn’t like)
Beckett (husband doesn’t like and I’m Just throwing this one in there so you can see my style)
Everett (husband doesn’t like)
Grayson (used to love but seems like it’s going to the girls)
Jackson (getting a bit too popular for me and we know people who have already used this name though we hardly ever see this family)
Garrett (my husband likes but I prefer Griffin; I don’t understand why he likes Garrett but not Griffin)
Henry (totally different than my style but one of my all time favorite names; this is a family name and is on the list of middle name contenders)My husband likes fairly traditional names such as Andrew, Zachary, and Ian but these aren’t really my style. However, I could commit to a more traditional name if it had seven letters. It’s really hard for me to describe my baby naming style but I like names that are a little trendy without being strange. When we chose Brayden we did not know any Brayden’s but it was still a name that people recognized and wasn’t weird. The name has now gotten much more popular and my son’s had multiple Brayden’s in his pre-k class and now at kindergarten. I really felt like Bennett fit into my style but my husband has never heard the name used as a first name so he thinks it’s not really a name.
If this baby had been a girl our top contender was Emma Claire. Yes, I know it’s extremely popular but we loved the first/middle name combination and might have chosen it despite its popularity and despite the fact that it didn’t have seven letters.
I read your blog every day and we also purchased a copy of the baby name wizard and are still no closer to choosing a name.
If you have any names we should be considering that we have not thought of we would love yours and your readers suggestions.
Thank you!
It sounds to me as if the name Patrick is out. It also sounds to me as if this needs to be made completely clear to your husband, and then perhaps he could make it clear to his family (without blaming you): he could use a friendly, casual tone and say something like, “Oh—no, Patrick was a name we considered but it isn’t one of our finalists. We’re still looking for the right name.”
If your husband and his family like the St. Patrick’s Day / Irish connection, then I’d start by looking at other Irish names:
Finnian
Garrett (on your list already)
Griffin (on your list already)
Malcolm
Tiernan
Finnian is close to Griffin, but perhaps your husband will like it.
Because Brayden is a more modern name, I think I’d look for similar options: Andrew and Patrick don’t feel like good fits to me, but Grayson and Beckett do.
Bennett certainly seems like a first name to me (it was #202 in 2012, used for 1891 new baby boys that year), even though it’s a surname name. Because your surname is a common boys’ first name, I do think you’re likely to get less confusion if you choose a first name that doesn’t sound surnamey. On the other hand, a certain amount of confusion is likely to happen no matter what. In this case, my hope is that your husband’s only objection to it is that he’s never happened to meet a child with the name, and that looking at the numbers will cure him of that. It seems to me like Bennett fits all of your preferences and also is good with Brayden.
Chopping down the list to remove the names you don’t like and the names your husband doesn’t like, we’re left with:
Grayson
Jackson
Garrett
Garrett seems the least surnamey of those to me, but that would be so subjective: if I knew a family with the surname Garrett instead of a family with the surname Grayson and another with the surname Jackson, I might be choosing completely differently.
Grayson does not seem to me to be going to the girls, especially with that spelling. Here are the 2012 numbers for the spellings used for more than 25 babies that year:
Gracen: 73 F, 64 M
Graceyn: 26 F
Gracin: 34 M
Gracyn: 209 F
Graeson: 48 M
Graycen: 47 F, 28 M
Graysen: 45 F, 205 M
Grayson: 177 F, 4671 M
Greysen: 116 M
Greyson: 40 F, 2216 M
Adding those up, that’s 617 girls and 7382 boys. It’s a somewhat unisex name used much more often for boys.
A bigger issue for me is that Grayson and Brayden sound quite similar. Maybe not too similar to use, but similar enough to make me hesitate to throw support behind Grayson.
Because you like Beckett, Bennett, Garrett, and Everett, I wonder if you would like Elliott or Barrett or Merritt. I wish Emmett had 7 letters: it’s similar to your favorite girl name, plus it has the double-T.
Name update! Allison writes:
Thank you for choosing our baby naming dilemma for your site. We loved hearing your reader’s opinions. When our son was born we did not choose a name until day 3. We even went to your site and read the post, your comments, and your reader’s comments again. My husband finally came around to the name Bennett but after much discussion we agreed to name our son Patrick. Our families love the name and we are enjoying our handsome little guy.
I agree Patrick is out. It’s not fair for you to feel pressured into a name you don’t really care for.
Some 7 letter suggestions that I think would work with Brayden. Brendan, Emerson, Tristan, Riordan, Quinlan & Lachlan.
I also thought of Collin, Kieran & Lorcan. I realize they don’t meet the 7 letter requirement, but perhaps they’ll provide you with some inspiration.
Do not go with Patrick by default.
Some 7 letter names that I really like
Vincent
Zachary
Gregory
Elliott
Jeffrey
I’m going to disagree – I think Grayson and Brayden are too similar, almost rhyming. Brendan is too similar too imo.
Patrick has always been one of my favorites, but that’s not much help if you don’t like it.
Ideas:
Douglas
Derrick (sounds good with Brayden)
William (too traditional?)
Andreas (alt. to Andrew)
Pumpkin (juuuust kidding)
Names I like that aren’t 7:
Jacoby
Lucas
Jesse
I really like the suggestion of Tristan. Tristan and Brayden seem similarly popular without sounding matchy. If you could convince your husband to like Bennett by showing him Swistle’s numbers though, I would go for that! It’s a great style-match and absolutely a first name option in this younger generation. And you love it. Does his dislike of Bennett match yours of Patrick or would he change his tune with some affirmation of it’s non-weirdness? I really don’t understand why someone would find Bennett any more unusual than Elliot, Oliver or Jackson (all names used as surnames). And for further affirmation, I know a Bennett and he’s adorable. His parents call him Benny-boy on occasion.
One test I always run my utmost favourite names by when I’m having qualms about “weirdness” or spelling woes is this: in several years time, if I came across a (in this case) Bennett in my child’s class would I lament not using it, seeing first hand that other people had deemed it usable? When the opinions of potentially judgmental people in my life no longer seem relevant, will I wish that I had just gone for it? If you can find a name you love equally without the perceived issues, then good. Otherwise I would just used your beloved name if you can get your husband on board, and tell any objectors to stuff it ;) And then pull up the popularity stats to drive the point home.
How about Timothy? It’s traditionally Irish like Patrick and has 7 letters.
This is kind of out there, but you could use the Gaelic spelling of Patrick — Padraig or Padraic.
Other P names that have 7 letters — Preston, Presley, Phillip, Phineas…
Other 7 letter names — Kenneth, Killian, Donovan, Desmond, Reardon/Riordan, Barclay, Bentley, Clayton, Forrest, Gabriel, Harland, Hartley, Jameson, Jarrett, Langdon, Lincoln, Malcolm, Maxwell, Quentin, Quinlan, Spencer, Tristan, Westley, Winston…
Good luck!
Padraig was my first thought. I think Gaelic names are very in right now yet are obviously timeless, and it’s a nice match with Brayden.
I think Emmett is a good suggestion — like Emma and Bennett combined. Does the name really have to have exactly 7 letters? Who’s going to count them? It may be that a name that Looks about the same length as Brayden and also has 2 syllables will Seem to be the same length. Also a 2-syllable Emmett fits with the pattern of Vincent and Brayden.
Bennett Donner
Emmett Donner
Typed out, Emmett looks the same length as Bennett even though it has one less letter.
Brayden Donner
Emmett Donner
They do LOOK like about the same length and sound nice together. I also like that they begin with different letters — some individuality that way.
It seems that Emmett could be a winner for your family!
Barrett was going to be my suggestion, like a cross between Garrett and Bennett.
I think you need to sort off start over, throw out all the names one of you doesn’t like.
What about Brennan, Carrick, Killian, or Russell
I love Emmett or Emerson for your second and last child! Like some others said, they are similar to the name you would have loved for a girl. I agree that Emmett looks the same length even if it’s “missing” a letter. Plus, it’s definitely a “real” name and sounds close to Bennett as well.
So many good suggestions already. I really like both Elliott and Lincoln.
How about Charles or Charlie? Or maybe Coleman nn Cole?
My two daughters have names that are really similar in sound and I’ve always regretted it. Well, since I became more aware of names I’ve regretted it–back when I was naming I was stuck on names that ended in “n”, with soft vowels, and wasn’t considering how it would be to refer to the pair of them, often, through the years. The end result of this is that I no longer like either name as much as I once did–because the sounds are so similar, it’s as if they’ve grown stale from overuse. So whatever name you choose, my counsel would be to avoid names that sound like Brayden. That definitely leaves out Grayson and Brendan, for starters.
I really like the suggestion of Timothy. You could call him Timo, pronounced Tee-mo. Very on trend, sounds great with your surname, has seven letters, sounds awesome with Henry in the middle, and Irish to boot.
Now I am very curious about the names of your daughters….
Bryn & Robin (already a mom name when she was born)
How about Malachi or Malachy?
First of all, I do know a couple Patricks that go by their full names…not pat or rick. However, I don’t love it with Brayden, and sounds like you don’t love it, period.
What about Coulton? That is a surname that is becoming much more like a first name (I have two cousins with little boys named Colton/Coulton). And it sounds great with Brayden.
Thank you for all of the wonderful suggestions and comments. The suggestion of Charlie/Charles gave us a laugh. We have so many Charlie’s in the family that we call them Big, Little, etc. so obviously already a family name.
I never thought about Emerson for a boy. It was my favorite girl name for years!
I like Patrick, just can’t quite commit to it. Months ago I ran the traditional Irish spelling past my husband and he didn’t care for it.
Barrett is on my husband’s list. We know two Barrett ‘s, including a family we do see fairly often.
So excited Swistle posted my question since I’ve been an avid reader for awhile.
If it is only the nickname part of Patrick you don’t like, I just want to say that I do know a little Patrick who is never called anything but Patrick. If you introduce him as Patrick, people will call him that… unless you have particularly obtuse or rude relatives, in which case you may have to correct a few times. Seeing as you’ve already spoken against the name, when people say something you can easily explain; “I realized I just really dislike the nicknames Pat and Rick.” That ought to nix any unwanted nicknaming before it even starts.
My own son is also called only by his full name, even though it has a ton of diminutives, and we’ve never had a problem with it, even with our more blustery family members (to my undying surprise).
Congrats and good luck!
Just noticed you are really stuck on a seven letter name for a boy, but the top contender for a girl did not follow this. Why are you willing to deviate for a girl but not another boy? Maybe you could let go of the 7 letter thing for a boy too and find something you both are really into without limiting yourself so much.
Good luck!
Sarah, for a girl we liked Emerson for a long time (7 letters :) but Emma was always an affectionate favorite so before we knew the baby was a boy we brought Emma Claire out to see if we liked it. However, we found out extremely early in this pregnancy that the baby was a boy so we never had to really put much thought into girl names.
OK, here goes with the seven letter names:
Beckham
Chandler
Donovan
Fletcher
Langdon
Lincoln
Kingston
Keeghan
Names that don’t have seven letters but are cool too:
Blake
Grady
Hudson
Hunter
Landon
Lennon
Maddox (Love this with Braydon!)
Nolan
Rowan
Weston
Carson
Deacon
Devin
Dallas
Devlin
Ryder
Slade
Whoa!!! Hope these help!
All the best!
I’m surprised Swistle didn’t bring this up, but when I read “I feel like I rejected the name for our first child so why would I choose it for this child?” I thought– well, just because Patrick wasn’t right for your first son doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be right for baby #2. To me, some names just feel better as a first-child name or a second-child name (I know, I’m odd). I think Brayden and Patrick are great brother names. If anyone asks why you changed your mind after saying you “hated” it, just blame it on hormones :) And for the record, I don’t know any Patricks who go by anything other than the full name. Seems like that’s the trend these days, so you should be fine enforcing it.
That said, if you don’t really like Patrick at all, and you’re feeling pushed into something you dislike, then I agree that Patrick is out.
What about:
Anthony
Trenton
Donovan
I know a lot of Patricks who go by Paddy… it always seemed like a name for a “cool kid”.
I LOVE the Donovan suggestion that keeps coming up! It’s not particularly new or trendy, but it feels fresher and more stylish than Patrick. Also feels quite Irish for the Irish St. Patty’s day connection! I also just wanted to say though that the Patrick nicknames of Pat & Rick seem unlikely to be used today… they seem like very tired, old-fashioned nicknames that people don’t really use anymore. I expect they’d just go by Patrick unless you come up with a new nickname of your own.
Emmett & Barrett both seem like great ideas that mix some of your favourite name sounds.
Another name that occurred to me that is 7 letters and feels a little Irish is Findlay/Findley.
What about Cameron? I know it starts with a “C” like your surname but Cameron, Donner (with a C), sounds pretty distinguished to me.
Brayden and Cameron nn Bray and Cam
There’s always Preston instead of Patrick. Brayden and Preston?
Too cute!
I know a little Grayson whose parents chose it because it paired well with their surname, which is a common first name. i also know two Bennetts so it feels like a first name to me. There are some excellent suggestions above, but here are some of my favorites (sorry if repeats): Preston, Winston, Clayton, Gabriel
Patrick – love this name! If it helps you come around to it the Patch is a great nn for Patrick. Patch Connor sounds great.
Emmett – sound like a great option for you if you can let go of the 7 letter thing. I also just read of an Irish political hero last name Emmett.
7 letter Irish names that I will second
Tristan
Keegan nn Keegs
Malachi nn Kai
Jameson
Finnian nn Finn
Donovan – maybe more Scottish not sure
Lachlan – maybe more Scottish not sure
New irish 7 letter suggestion
Cormack! Awesome name! Has that ck ending like patrick that may appeal to your hubby, has Irish appeal and has the cool nn of Mack or Cory if you like
7 letter names I will second
Fletcher
Quinton
Emerson – I am Aussie so not sure about the whole is it a girl or boy name. My insight is that it is fine for a boy and love it but I know you guys seem to like the ‘son’ and ‘on’ ending masculine-ish, last name -ish names for girls like Peyton, Addison, Greyson as mentioned etc.
New suggestions not 7 letters that might suit your style
Rafferty
Murphy
Flynn
Kieran
Liam
Harrison
Damian
Finnegan
I also like Elliot
My vote is for Cormack or Tristan
but love so many suggestions as I also like Irish names and surnamey names good luck
Yes! Robert Emmet from the 1803 uprising gave an awesome speech on the eve of his execution–totally iconic, like Patrick Henry stateside.
I like Tristan, Finnian, and Donovan, and I deeply wish Finnegan were the right number of letters. I think of Cormack as Corkscrew, but either way I’m surprised it isn’t used more because it’s great.
Ooh also liked Spencer suggestion
More Irish names not seven letters
Riley
Eamon
Declan
Sorry probably not helpful but you never know…
A name I think that works well with Brayden and has 7 letters is Leeland. It has a traditional feel that may appeal to your husband, but that clunky coolness about it that Brayden has. Good luck!
I like Cormack, Cameron, Coleman, and Lachlan for you.
What about Everett? Ever or Rhett could be cute nns.
Oops meant to say Everett with those nicknames just in case your husband vetoed it because he doesn’t see nickname potential
I would like to gently suggest letting go of the seven letters. If you are having a hard time finding something because of a rule you’ve created, I would let go of the rule and see if you find something you really love. You can always later choose something with seven letters but I would stop counting and just look at the names.
We used our “runner-up” name from the first time around and I had one little moment of doubt about it in the hospital (after we’d already announced the name, of course). But since that little moment of doubt, I have completely come around to it (it was also my second choice name but my husband’s first choice name). So while I do understand the “wasn’t good enough for the first child” feeling, it passes pretty quickly.
I thought of Declan while I was reading and then I realized I’m very bad at counting in my head.
Francis nn Frank? For McCourt?
I think I disagree, just because one name doesn’t feel right for your first babe doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t be right for your second. As for telling people that you didn’t like Patrick before , you could always say that after taking a break from it and going back to it, you realized that you did in fact find that you like it. I think it’s a really good option but obviously it needs to work for you.
I think you have a ton of great suggestions. I hope some jump out for you! My favourites:
Cormack. Love this!
Lachlan
Finnian
I wish your husband would rethink Bennett. It is different without being “out there” and is definitely a name. We named our son Bennett Patrick. I was afraid, at first, that older people would say something about it being too different but the responses have only been positive. “Awww, that’s a GREAT NAME.” Patrick was one of our top choices but also didn’t feel right, I was worried that people would call him Pat and I didn’t like that. I have since met several Patricks that I have asked about nicknames, and they all said they only go by Patrick, no one calls them Pat or Rick. I really like your St Pattys day connection and think that if you reconsidered, you can always change your name for the next child without judgement of anyone else. As simple as, “it didn’t feel right for the first boy, he was definitely a Brayden, but this one felt more like a Patrick”. That’s if anyone would say anything, which they likely wouldn’t. I like your 7 letter connection and think if you can keep it going that it’s really cute.
I liked the suggestions of Coleman, Donovan, Everett and Barrett. Love Beckett and Beckham as well.
Good luck!!
Katie, I just saw this comment and I wanted to send a quick reply that Bennett Patrick was definitely on our list. My husband and my Dad really liked this combination. The only reason we didn’t choose it was because neither name was a family name and we wanted the middle name to be a family name. We ended up naming him Patrick and using a family name for the middle name. I just wanted to let you know how much I love Bennett Patrick!
Thanks Allison and congratulations! I am really happy to hear that you went with Patrick for your little boy. It was funny to read that you had the same reservations as I did about the name, but since he was born, I have noticed so many Patricks that never had nicknames. We went with Patrick as a middle name because it was a family name for me, after my mother Patricia, who passed away. Thank you for the compliment on Bennett Patrick, we really love it for our little guy.
First, I agree with Swistle that I don’t see Grayson as going to the girls at all. When I saw the list of alternate spellings I thought that I don’t think of Grayson and Graycen as the same name even though I realize as I sit here saying them both over and over that they do sound the same out loud. If you like Grayson totally go for it.
Bennett and Beckett are also great names/choices. You’ve got a great list there.
Carmody – I just thought of this name, hope its not too late, could work really well for you guys. Irish feel, 7 letters, surnamey, and I like the alliteration with your surname
Patrick is a great name, and it sounds like it’s the right name for your son. Congratulations!