Shawn writes:
I’m due with my first baby (a girl) today. Of course, it is 11:45 PM, so today is almost over. This baby could be here any minute! My husband and I have a name we both love… but I just realized an issue with the initials. Her last name will sound like Krawzik and we want to name her Finola Hazel. I love everything about the name Finola and Hazel is a family name. The problem is the initials. Can I give the baby the initials FHK? Does that look like I’m spelling something… inappropriate? One option would be to give her a different middle name, but we’re still left with FK when she’s writing her initials. Is this an issue I made up or is it a real problem? I LOVE the name, but I also don’t want my daughter to be teased. Please help!!!!
If you had suddenly realized that her initials would be FCK, say, or FUK, I would spring into action to find a new middle name. But FHK doesn’t seem like enough of a problem to be worth the upheaval. Time is a factor here: it would take a lot for me to say that parents past the due date should start over on the name.
FK would not perhaps be at the top of the list for ideal initials, but I’m not sure children’s initials come up very often. Two of my children have first/last initials that form common and well-known abbreviations, but I asked them just now if anyone had ever pointed it out to them and both of them said no. (One added, as if helping me write the post, “I think it’s that my initials never come up—no one thinks about them.”) Teasing about initials such as FK requires a reach that seems fairly easy to respond to with eye-rolling scorn: “Yes, how clever of you to notice that two of my initials are also letters in a Naughty Word. *slow clap* Bravo, sir. Bravo.” Plus, a child making that connection would likely be in fairly serious trouble for bringing up That Word—or at least, that’s one of the areas where I notice my children are LIGHTNING-FAST with the shocked responses and tattling. (“A kid in my class? *thrilled/horrified expression/tone* Said ‘SUCKS’!!!!”)
It will boil down to how important you think this is, and how possible it is at this point to do anything about it. Is it important enough for a huge last-minute scramble? Is it important enough to ditch the name you love everything about? (It sounds as if I expect the answer to those questions to be “no,” but I think it could go either way. If YES, we should immediately do a second post for new name candidates.) When you compare them, which WEIGHS more: your love of the name Finola, or your worry about the initials FK? Do you already have other names you love nearly as much as Finola, or would you have to start from scratch? Could you reverse the initials and name her Hazel Finola?
This also seems like a good moment for the “What’s the worst that could happen?” game. The worst that could happen is that children in school could notice that her initials are FK, and could imagine that those two letters alone signified a swear word, and start teasing her about them. And then? Well, and then they would get in trouble for it, or else she would roll her eyes and they’d move on, or else they’d keep teasing her about it and eventually she’d be an adult and it would be all over—just as it would be for the classmate who got called Cooper Pooper, or the one who got called Isabellyfat, or the one who got called Two-by-Four because she was flat as a board. The nice thing about name-related teasing is that it’s harder to take personally than body-related or personality-related teasing.
I’ve spent a few minutes mulling over how often I use my initials, and I do use them periodically (mostly on the kids’ homework, though also on bank forms and other occasional legal paperwork)—but I don’t remember my initials coming up very often back in elementary/middle school days, and as an adult I wouldn’t expect initials like FK to be an issue. I found too that it helped when I wrote “FK” in cursive: they don’t look nearly as suggestive as they do in print—though if it were me, I would use FHK because I think those look even less suggestive.
Let’s have a poll:
[yop_poll id=”30″]
Finola is a pretty name, but It’s unfortunate that you realized at the last moment that giving your daughter — or son — a name beginning with F ends up with FK initials. The “F-word” is such a strong word, sounds so harsh when said, is usually off-limits to children … and that’s why some love to use it. I think the bottom line here is how do you think you would have felt growing up with the initials FK? Would you have been ready with a quick retort when your initials brought to mind the F-word to other kids; would you have been able to shrug it off and not care?
You could go ahead and name your daughter Finola Hazel K., but call her Nola — no problem at all about having initials perceived as NK.
Or you might want to look at other names that have been on your list of possibilities. Better to confront this concern now — either decide, “I’m fine with the initials FK and my daughter will be too,” or choose another name for her while you still can .
It is impossible to avoid any potential problem with a name/nickname/initials. For example, my brother, Richard, was named after my uncle, who went by the nickname “Rich”. At the time my brother was born, my parents and uncle lived in the same town and my folks thought it would be confusing to call both of them “Rich”, so they nicknamed my brother “Dick”. Several times, people have said to me, “WHO would call their kid “Dick”?” and the thing is, my mother said it didn’t have the current connotation at the time they nicknamed him or they wouldn’t have. There is no way to avoid common parlance that arises after your child is named. Thanks to Miley Cyrus and the brouhaha over her weird “performance” a few weeks ago, I just became aware that “molly” is a word now used for a drug (ecstasy, I think), and “Molly” is my daughter’s nickname, so whatever. I’d use my favorite name and keep my fingers crossed. When your daughter is a little older, teach her the “whatever” shrug, and she’ll be fine.
I wouldn’t worry about it. Finola Hazel K. is beautiful. I have a similar situation, in that my initials (HHO) aren’t ideal. Most people don’t use their initials very often; signing documents and the occasional monogrammed item are the only things that come to mind. I make sure to always sign HHO instead of HO, and that seems to cut the issue. Similarly, your daughter could sign FHK, which seems to soften the association with the swear. While I wasn’t thrilled with my initials as a kid, I love my name as an adult and wouldn’t want to be named anything else. (Both my first and middle names are honor names, which means a lot to me.)
In the grand scheme of naming, there are so many other issues that would be more difficult to handle — for example, a unisex name that people routinely mistake for the wrong gender, a name that’s difficult to spell or pronounce, a name that’s fallen out of fashion, etc. Less-than-ideal initials are less of a problem than you might think! They really don’t come up often enough in daily life to be a nuisance.
To be honest, I don’t think I’d choose the initials FK (or FHK) for myself. I don’t think I’d give them to my child, either. But would it be a big deal if I had them? If someone I knew had them? No, it’s a minor issue in the long run.
What were your other run-up names besides Finola? I think Finola is beautiful, but it is a little unwieldy with Krawzik (sorry!!). I tend to follow the name philosophy that if your surname is unusual or non-intuitive to spell in the US (like I imagine Krawzik probably is), it is best to pick a first name that is straightforward in spelling. Finola is the simplified version of Fionnuala (so that’s good!) but it is still a name that is hardly ever heard in America. I think she/you will get Finnula, Finnola, Finolla, etc. many times. That, in combination with a surname that also requires careful spelling out could be tiresome in the long run.
I feel bad telling you this because your love for the name shines through…but between the FK issue and the difficult spelling plus difficult spelling issue, I would suggest considering other favorites from your list. Finola may be your favorite name (and it is beautiful!!) but your daughter will be the one going through life with the name, the initials, and the spelling and re-spelling for others. (This is an issue I have to remind myself a lot when I consider many of my favorites, including beautiful Irish names like Aine and Sorcha. And indeed Finola/Finnuala.)
Well — and kindly — stated. I have similar concerns about Finola with Krawzik.
Yeah…sadly, I have to agree with Kaela that you really should take a second look at the long-term practicalities of using Finola and perhaps consider some of your other favorites. The FK initials issue would give me pause by itself. They aren’t a total dealbreaker, but there is a good chance they are going to be annoying to your daughter at some point in her life. And, really, how many other 2-letter inital combinations could have as strong an association with as negative of a word? I can’t really think of any. (Although the PP’s HO is pretty close!)
And then having the very unusual name of FInola combined with an unusual last name, both of which are likely to get misspelled…Well, it doesn’t fit pass the “would I want this name?” test, to me. However, there could be factors I’m missing here. If there was some personal significance or story to Finola that overrides those likely annoyances, I might still go ahead and use it. But if it’s just that you happen to love the name….for me, personally, that’s not enough.
Not knowing any of your other favorite names, my inclination would be to push for using Hazel as the fn. It’s a lovely name, more familiar and a bit trendy, but still not super common. Most likely fewer mispellings and mispronunciations and general headache…and nothing wrong with HK initials. Plus, it’s a family name, so that always puts it over the top for me. Hazel Finola Krawzik even works, and you still get the Finola in there…
I just wanted to jump in and say the initials might not be ideal, but it’s really not worth sacrificing a name you love. My initials growing up were RAH, which I always thought was kinda funny/cool. Then I got married to a guy with a last name that starts with a T, and now I’m RAT. I just use RT at the rare times I need my initials. One of my friends has the initials PML, but is seriously dating a guy with a last name that starts with an S, so she’ll be PMS. Ha. Your daughter could eventually wind up changing her last name after marriage and completely negate the issue anyways – keep the name you love, I think.
You could avoid both the RAT and PMS problems by keeping your maiden name initials instead of or in addition to your original middle name initials.
I’m a RAH too! I always was happy at least I wasn’t RAW like another girl in my class… but now, I could end up with a W last name as well!
I definitely wouldn’t worry about it. My initials are SM, or SNM, which, you know… Anyway, even in school people didn’t even really notice because no one really notices your initials. I really, really wouldn’t worry about it!
If they’re looking for something to make fun of, they’ll likely find it, no matter what parents do! It isn’t ideal, but I don’t think it’s a crisis! Finola is beautiful!
If it makes you a bit nervous, shifting Finola to the middle position would resolve the issue, too. Hazel Finola is also adorable. Good luck!!
Finola Hazel is simply beautiful! Don’t let last minute doubts stop you from using the name you love! The initials are not a problem…kids will always find something to make fun of. My maiden last name starts with “ill” and somehow I became known as “dill pickle” in school…how? No idea, but kids will be kids….go with the name you love! At least I didn’t have my married name as a kid…my husband was known as “weenie” lol Enjoy your daughter!
While I understand the comments about unusual first and last name being an issue, I don’t agree with them. I worked in customer service for 7 years and asked almost every person for the spelling of their name (even common names) because of multiple spelling possibilities. It’s a normal thing to have to do in life. Finola isn’t well known in the US, but it’s a pleasing sound combination with familiar name-parts (Finn, Nola).
Before marriage, my initials were VJJ. No problems at all until about 2006, when Oprah Winfrey started talking about va-jay-jays. Well, I just rolled my eyes at all my silly male (only the men thought this was hilarious!) colleagues and told them I should send Oprah my thanks for ruining my initials. No big deal. My mom, thankfully refrained from giving me the initials VAJ at birth, so I suppose the jokes were inevitable. lol. I think FAK and FK are fine. Enjoy your baby!
sorry, FHK.
I agree, while having initials FK isn’t the greatest, I don’t know if they’ll come up enough to consider sacrificing your favorite name. Finola is gorgeous! Of course, I have a serious contender on my list that would land my future daughter with the initials BS so maybe I’m the wrong person to ask! :D I think that writing all three initials where initialing is required will soften the effect considerably.
I also have to disagree with previous posters that Finola is too much with your last name! I would only take it into consideration if you’re really looking for reasons to avoid “FK”, in which case the suggestion of Hazel Finola is very pretty. Every name gets butchered at some point and avoiding a lovely and distinctive name because she’ll have to spell it for people is sort of silly. I had to spell my last name all my life, it just becomes habit and really isn’t annoying in the least.
Oh, sadly, I do think the initials FK are not a good choice. To my eye it almost automatically recalls “F**K” – maybe that is strange? But I do use my initials a lot and I like things to be monogrammed (luggage!) so maybe I am oversensitive. That being said, as another commenter wrote, if I knew someone with the initials FK it wouldn’t be a big deal. And I might be distracted by the lovely name Finola, anyway. :)
I really like Hazel Krawzik, with the repeating Z!
No, I have the same issue. FK immediately reads as the swear word. I think it might be because it is sometimes used as an abbreviation for the swear in texts? I’m not sure.
I prefer Hazel Krawzik over Finola Krawzik also. The double Z is very nice.
I say use the name. It’s lovely. My initials spell MAD or DAM backwards as people occasionally point out. I never cared. I laughed years ago when I realized my daughters initials backwards are CON.
Truly, most people will never notice.
I wouldn’t have chosen those initials for a child, but I’m also very hyper-aware of initials before I even start looking for a name. So for me, I would have ruled it out before falling in love with it.
It’s not ideal, and if it were me, I probably would change it. But it’s not me we’re talking about! Only you can decide how big of a deal it is. If you are madly in love with it and think your daughter won’t mind, or you can handle it in a pleasing way, then it is a lovely name and may not be worth the stress of changing it. Good luck!
I’m also in the camp of initials not being a huge deal. I grew up with the initials TV, and no one really ever noticed.
But TV is a neutral association. Maybe a little goofy, but neutral. So even if people did notice it, they wouldn’t remark on it or recoil or anything like that.
FK reads as an abbreviation for the strongest curse word in the English language. That makes it a different problem.
I read the first few lines of this post, understood their was a potential issue with the initials FHK, stopped reading to see what I could come up with on my own and found nothing. I couldn’t figure out what the problem was until I finished reading the post. So with that, I would say most people will likely not even notice their is somewhat of a connection ??? I agree with Swistle, if the initials were FUK or FCK then perhaps I would consider changing but if don’t think its an issue especially if you love those names and can picture your babe named that.
The first thing that I thought of when I saw the title was JFK as in John F Kennedy. If there was a ‘U” in there I would say switch it but without the vowel I don’t have any negative associations- they just seem like a random set of letters.
I don’t see the initials FK as an issue at all. Where I live, Dallas-Ft Worth metro, there is a car dealership called Frank Kent, and their logo features the FK initials prominently. I’ve seen it countless times on other people’s cars, and I have never, ever associated it with the F-word. I’m also willing to bet that if the marketing people who designed the logo didn’t think of it, your daughter’s classmates won’t either.
This makes as good an argument as any for using your chosen name. I know exactly what dealership Katybug is talking about (there are several locations in Ft. Worth) and I have never once made the FK=F**K connection! And it’s super prevalent in our area.
I had to read your entry to figure out the issue with the initials. I think that it is tenuous at best to associate either FK or FHK with the swear word. Like others, I was thinking more of JFK than anything. I also think of other initials – I don’t think of s**t when I see the initials ST, nor do I think of of the “C” word when I see initials CT… I think this is a case of overthinking it (which you should do when contemplating your child’s name, but sometimes you can get too close to it…) I hope you use the name you love.
My niece is an FK, her parents made sure NOT to give her a vowel as a middle initial, but nobody has even thought that FK could be a problem! (And I don’t think it is one, to be clear.)
FHK I don’t think is a problem at all. FK, yes, as an adult I look at it and the word immediately pops into my mind, but as an adult I’m not going to tease the person with those initials or claim that it reflects badly on them in any way. My advice to little Finola growing up is just to use her full set of initials any time she needs to initial or monogram anything.
(Given that I think “FHK” is no problem and “FK” is not ideal, but fine, I couldn’t decide which vote option to go with, so I went with the one that said both of them are no problem.)
I actually had to read to determine why those initials might be a problem so I say no they are not as they did not generate any innappropriate word thoughts when I read them.
I too had to read on to understand the potential issue with the initials. FHK certainly has no bad connotation whatsoever. And associating FK with f**k seems far-fetched to me. Keep the name you love!
I am a 5th grade teacher. On days when the students go to band, I write the time and their initials on the board. Last year I had a student with MF initials. Never ONCE did a student make comment or note of this. Weekly I had a moment of , “I can’t believe I’m writing this on the board”, but as I seemed to be the only one in the room who noticed it, I didn’t let it fester too long.
For the most part, the kids didn’t view it as something potentially bad, but just the student’s initials. Grant you, as the student gets older, things may change. But the longer it takes, the less likely a big deal it will be.
Best wishes!
I agree with Ann that younger kids — even 10-11-year-old 5th graders — most likely would not make anything of the initials FK. I have 5th grade twin grandsons, and I’ve never heard them use the f-word, although I know they’ve heard it and know it’s a word that they shouldn’t be using. Beyond that, I’m sure they’ve not yet come across f**k in anything they’ve read.
It seems to me that it’s highly unlikely a girl with the initials FK would be teased about that while in elementary school, and if it came up in middle school or beyond, would be older and, hopefully, better able to deal with it. However, once it’s pointed out, she could become wary that it might be brought up again and wish she didn’t have those initials. I know it would have bothered me.
I googled the etymology of using f**k to represent the offensive slang word and found this:
“My question is: Why and when did we start censor words such as f**k with partial-asterisks but still retain the same word length/structure/opening-closing letters so the word is still understandable but yet deemed ‘safe’ in this way?”
“Google NGram seems to show the first instance of f**k from 1959 but doesn’t show any context, or where this actually was used.”
I’ve grown up with the initials FUK- my parents thought it was funny to give me said initials :(. No one pointed out “FK” as anything suspicious, though one kid said my initials represented “Fart King” in third or fourth grade (but that was total crap, so I let it go). Nothing associated with that word though. When people asked about what my middle name was, I just said it was Grace to avoid all connotations of the swear word.
Finola is a great name, and if your heart tells you it’s the name, it’s the name for your daughter!