A. writes:
Oy. Swistle, please help! We have a beautiful 5-day-old, little brother to Arlo Otis, and I am not yet sold on the name we announced on day three. Our last name is Johnson Ronay, no hyphen.
The name we announced is Emil Thomas. I love the spelling. I love the name. But I do not think the spelling Emil, phonetically represents our chosen pronunciation of eh-MEEL. If I can not get behind it, how will I comfortable navigate the queries and support my son?
When Arlo was born, we had a list of five names, shared them with dear friends for feedback and waited until his birth to get a sense of what names fit him. We both came to Arlo easily and shared with family and friends after about two days of making sure it was a good fit. No regrets.
Fast forward to “Emil”. We had a loose list which included Emil, Lars, Severn, Pavel and the extra-adventurous Utah. Again, as easily as Arlo first came, so did Emil. As soon as he was lifted out of the tub to her chest, she felt he was Emil. Before our midwives left the house, I had almost called him Emil several times. When the house was quiet, we each confessed the name then planned to sit with it for a couple days. My brother Thomas was randomly in town day three and when he met the babe I felt some excitement to share the name, so we just did it. I have regretted it ever since. In my own mind I can hardly remember how to pronounce it… Is it “Ay-mull”, “E-mill”, “em-IL” or “EM-eel”.
I think we could help secure the pronunciation with going with the spelling Emile, but I do not like the look or potential for confusion with Emily.
When people ask his name, I am near meltdown. In my unscientific research, I have found that a hefty majority of people who do not have a French connection, or a Grandparent named “Ay-mull” or “E-mill”, go automatically to “eh-MEEL”.
I don’t know what to do. Can we just go with it? Will this haunt my child forever? A little effort to correct pronunciation or inform spelling seems okay in exchange for a strong name that can be taken around the world, but I do not want to be taking phonetic liberties.
Bonus is birth certificate is yet to be filed, in the event we scrap it and go with Pavel. Forever drawback is not listening to the “his name is Emil” that we both shared upon meeting him.
I welcome any and all feedback! Thank you kindly!
You say that “a hefty majority” of people pronounce the name Emil the way you’d like them to (and the ones who don’t are just more familiar with one of the other possible pronunciations), AND that you are near meltdown about it. I would think it would be the opposite: that you would be increasingly reassured by how many people say it the way you’d like them to. I’d pronounce it eh-MEEL too. (I’d have to look up how to pronounce Pavel. PAH-vull? PAY-vull? puh-VELL?)
Emile is no improvement: all it does is add EE-myle and eh-MYLE and Emily to the list of potential mispronunciations. Also, Emil is familiar to me as a boy’s name, but I’d be less certain about Emile in the United States. Here’s the 2012 Social Security Administration data:
Emil, F: –
Emil, M: 114
Emile, F: 6
Emile, M: 40
Emilee, F: 548
Emilee, M: –
Emil is a standard spelling; eh-MEEL is a standard pronunciation. You love the spelling; you love the pronunciation. What is it you’re still having trouble getting behind?
You have chosen a name that is uncommon in the United States, so yes, you are going to run into issues with pronunciation and spelling, as will he. This is part of the package deal when you choose an uncommon name, and presumably you are on board with that or else you would have named him Mason or Jason and had no trouble at all as long as he stayed in a country where those names were familiar. (Keeping in mind that a hefty minority of people spell my name Kristin or pronounce it Kristine even though it is Kristen; and I’ll bet right this minute someone is calling a Jason “Jayden” by mistake or spelling it Jayson; and don’t forget the endless hassle of the very popular Madelyn/Madeline. Pronunciation/spelling issues are not the exclusive domain of the less-common name.)
My diagnosis is that you are suffering from a perfectly normal post-naming freak-out. You gave the name a lot of thought, and you chose carefully. You did not say to each other, “We want to choose a name that will haunt our son HIS ENTIRE LIFE and require FULL PARENTAL SUPPORT for him to carry.” No: you chose a name you love, a name that fits him, a name you think will make him feel at-home worldwide.
It is normal to take a little while to feel comfortable with a new baby’s name, and it is normal to feel a little self-conscious about a name during the announcing phase. You will get used to pronouncing it, and so will everyone else. Leave the birth certificate blank for awhile longer if it makes you feel better, but it sounds to me as if the real naming ceremony has already taken place.
I find Emil pretty straight forward. I actually didn’t realize it was so rare, since an acquaintance of mine just used the name for her baby boy. He is Eh-meel, and as far as I know she has had zero problems with it. Another of my friends has a heck of a time with the name Madeline. Is it Lynn? Is it Line? Is it LEEN? No one seems to know how to approach it and that name is quite popular. I don’t think you can count on any name being pronounced correctly 100% of the time. The bonus with a name like Emil is that there are really no alternatives being used (unlike Madeline). So once Emil corrects his teacher once she’s likely to remember. And so will everyone else. As a bearer of an impossible maiden name I can promise you that while I was spelling it for people my whole life I was not scarred, nor did I grow up hating it. It was just me! I think you picked an absolutely gorgeous name. So dashing! And he’ll be the only one in his class quite likely so he can set the precedent of “correct” pronunciation.
Emil is a beautiful name, please don’t change it.
The thing with name pronunciation confusion is it is short lived. Someone might not know how to say it, you tell them, problem solved. And how many times will people be reading the name rather than hearing it first? You will introduce him by saying his name, not writing it.
This was my first thought, that they/he will most often be introducing himself verbally before people see it written. The only issue will be when the teacher is calling roll at the beginning of the year, and all it will take is one correction and he’ll be good to go. The teacher will probably need clarification on how to say at least half the class, anyway.
I think Emil is lovely & perfectly straight forward. If people aren’t familiar with it, I see no reason why it should take more than a single explanation. Keep the name & the spelling.
You’ve made a great choice and you should stick with it, imho. I agree with Swistle that Pavel is at least as ambiguous.
My 4 y.o. daughter’s name is Naomi and I _still_ am not sure which pronunciation to use. I quite like both and I use both, though my husband has a preference. I’m sure that once she’s a tween, she’ll let us know in no uncertain terms how she wants it. In the mean time, the ambiguity doesn’t bother me.
And I agree with Swistle about pronunciation/spelling challenges being a fact of life for lots of people – even people with common names. People get my son John’s name wrong. John! Turns out there are eleventy little Jonathans in our community and people either misremember that he’s John, not Jonathan, or they assume John is a nickname and are being polite and waiting to be invited to use the nickname. Sure, there are some nearly bulletproof names out there – like my son Adam’s – but I suspect that very few of them will be to your taste.
How funny, I was just thinking about the name Emil recently – a friend named her son Emil, but in the German pronunciation: EH-meel (or EY-meel – a long EH). It sounds like you picked the French pronunciation, I agree with the others and I think Swistle rightfully points out how even popular names can come with spelling / pronunciation questions.
I would def. stick with what has been both your wife’s and your own intuition at birth, that Emil is his name. I also agree with Swistle that Pavel as an alternative would probably not make things a lot easier in terms of pronunciation. Emil is a beautiful, unique name.. And may I add, it also goes wonderfully with his last name AND with his brother’s name!
Congratulations :)
Stick with the name and spelling of Emil. You are too sleep deprived (which no one could fault you for) to make a logical, rational decision about this. Emil is a great name!
I, for one, absolutely love the name and I think it goes perfectly with Arlo. Honestly, I love it! I agree with all the comments & Swistle above, don’t think there will be much confusion with the pronunciation, not any more so then most names now a days (see above examples with Madeline/Madelyn….. also that the majority of the time he will be verbally introducing himself vs. the once at the beginning of the school year with a new teacher that may or may not require one correction). As for the spelling, I wouldn’t change a thing!
I think that is really special that both you and your partner felt that that was his name from day one. If you were to change it now, I would be scared that you would forever regret THAT decision.
At the end of the day, it is your guys’ decision but if you are asking me – it’s perfect!
Sticking with the original spelling does not confuse me, and is pronounce it Eh-MEEL. As soon as you add the E to the end if be confused both on pronunciation and gender. In fact, I would guess Emile to be a creative spelling of Emily and assume girl. But Emil is classic. Love it!
Ouch, sucks for me to be one of those guys named “Emile” for me anyway. Yeah every substitute, every new class in highschool started with the classroom laughing at me being called “Emily”. Not so fun times.
I just had a son in February and named him
Emile. I love the name! I had no idea so many people would call him Emily though. Do you suggest changing the spelling or were your experiences not so bad?
I know four Emils, all adults, all male, all pronounced as you desire, as that is the standard pronunciation of the name.
I don’t see an issue in this regard.
I think you’ve named him Emil already.
Don’t change name, don’t change spelling. Totally straightforward, and any issues will be short lived. Goes perfectly with Arlo.
You made a good choice. :) congrats on the new little guy!
If this helps, I immediately pronounced it the way you like. I believe most people will! It seems self-explanatory to me!
We live in an area where many Romanian, Russian and Ukrainian families emigrated to and I know at least 2 Pavels. I still am hesitant on how to say it because I hear the Americanized way to say it, which is not the same as the authentic Romanian way to say it! I think it could be more confusing.
The people who won’t say it correctly are the same people everyone saying straightforward names wrong, such as saying Kristen as “Christine” or spelling the feminine Erin as “Aaron”. There are those people everywhere ; )
Emil seems totally straightforward and not that uncommon to me, and your preferred pronunciation is the one I automatically thought of. Go for it!
Emil is a fantastic name, goes so perfectly with Arlo, and I instantly pronounced it the way you prefer. Please don’t change it as the spelling and pronunciation is fairly straight forward to most people. If not, a simple correction is all it takes to set them on the right track.
Most people have to correct others about how to pronounce or spell their name at some point. I often get called Lynn or asked whether my name is with an “i” or a “y”. It’s no biggie and once you’ve told them they never have to ask again.
All the best!
I read it as eh-Meel from the title before I even read your letter. I think the spelling is fine!
Even though others have said the same thing, I’ll chime in to say that Emil is a great name, the perfect sib name for Arlo, and I would pronounce it exactly as you would like. I think you made a good choice. Go snuggle your fam. There are a lot of really challenging things about two babies. This one, though, you got right!
Love the name! Stick with it! Congrats!
My 3 year old son’s name is Emile. We wrestled with the same thing. For me personally, I just didn’t like the way Emil looked for the same reason you are questioning your choice. It looks like e-mul. In his short three years we have had people constantly think he is a girl (Emily) when they look at his name on paper. You have to decide what is the lesser of the two evils. We have a one year old named Ogden. When we say our children’s names are Emile and Ogden the general response is “Oh, I like the name Ogden.”
You’ll learn to love what you name him because it is him. My Emile is totally an Emile and it seems right.
I went to school with a boy named Emil. He spelled and pronounced it the same way as your son and I never remember there being any confusion at all.
I agree with almost everyone here – I read it as “eh-MEEL” as soon as I read the post title, I didn’t even realize it was an uncommon name, AND it goes brilliantly with Arlo. Love it!!
I think it’s helpful that Emilio Estevez was popular when many parents were teenagers/children. Emil is like Emilio without the -io, so pronunciation was very intuitive for me.
For what it’s worth I pronounced Emil just as you prefer and I don’t know any other Emils. It’s a great name and I love it with brother Arlo! I hope you keep it. Congratulations.
Just now reading this, and hoping they kept Emil… and are planning to have about four more little boys so they can use the rest of their outstanding list!
I have had Emil on my list, and assumed it was EMM-ill until I heard the German pronunciation AY-mill, which is what I personally would use. But the French pronunciation is lovely, too.