Jessica writes:
I hope you and your readers can help us. We have narrowed our list down to our final 2 – but my husband wants one name and I want another. We are due at the end of June, and I promise to send an update after she is born! This is our first child, and if it had been a boy our list included Hayes, Henry, Parker, Jack, and Wells. My top pick is Katherine (called Kate) and my husband’s is Charlotte (called by her full name). My husband’s argument is that Kate is so common and ordinary, and that it is much more used than Charlotte. I know that it is a common name, but I think Charlotte is currently more popular and also a little more trendy. We both like the other’s name, but we each feel strongly about our favorite. This will likely be our only child due to complications we have had.
Any input you can provide as a 3rd party is greatly appreciated. Especially regarding popularity, style, etc.
Thanks so much!
Comparing Charlotte to Kate is a little like comparing Henry to Jack: because one name of each pairing is used as a name AND a nickname, it can be hard to compare popularity—especially when we don’t know how many boys named John are being called Jack, and we don’t know how many girls named Katelyn or Katherine are being called Kate.
Let’s see if we can look a little closer anyway. The Social Security Administration reports that in 2012 the name Charlotte was given to 7418 new baby girls; it was the 19th most popular girl name in the United States, and it has increased in popularity every year since 1999.
Now for some Kate-based figures. Here are the number of new baby girls born in 2012 with each of these names:
Katherine: 3923
Katelyn: 2396
Kate: 1623
Katie: 1427
Kathryn: 1213
Katelynn: 732
Kathleen: 420
Katrina: 269
Katy: 164
Katerina: 154
Katharine: 106
Katelin: 65
This isn’t going to include everyone: there might be some Katias and Ekaterinas going by Kate, and I didn’t bother with unusual spellings such as Kati. And I didn’t even start in on the C’s: Catherine, Catelyn, Caitlin—those could all be going by Cait or Cate. But I think even this partial list gives us an idea of how things are. Looking just at the name Katherine, it was #64 in 2012 and falling somewhat in popularity. (The spelling Catherine is #167 and also falling.) The name Kate is #194 and I’m not sure what it’s doing; I suppose I’d call it “hovering,” except that it’s fluctuating more than that. It was mostly rising until 2009 when it started going up and down; that looks to me like uncertainty brought on by the appeal and fame of the royal Kate.
We are limited here primarily by the issue I mentioned earlier: we don’t know how many Katherines/Katelyns/etc. are going by Kate and how many aren’t. On the other hand, even without the information, we can see that Kate is a popular sound in the United States, and that comparing the 7418 Charlottes to the 1623 Kates or to the 3923 Katherines wouldn’t answer the question.
The actual answer is probably that both names are quite common right now. Charlotte is “spikier”: getting common in a way that’s sudden enough to be remarked upon. On the other hand, the name Kate is being repeatedly brought to our attention by current royalty, and may feel more common because of the recent popularity of the name Katelyn/Caitlin.
The more relevant answer is that it sounds like both names are out: you each feel strongly about your own favorite, and it’s hard to imagine either of you saying “Oh, I see—yes, mine is more ordinary/common/trendy, so let’s use yours.” I suggest taking both names off the list and looking for something new. It’s hard to come up with a list when we don’t have a surname to work with, but Charlotte makes me think of Violet, and Katherine/Kate makes me think of Margaret/Meg, and of Josephine/Josie/Jo; Kate alone makes me think of Kaye, Jill, Jane, Claire, and Rose. Or perhaps you’d like Vivian, Genevieve, Evelyn, Eleanor, Catlin, Clara, Phoebe, or Emeline.
Our 3rd girl was Charlotte vs Kate. My mom’s middle name was Kay and I didn’t want Kay as a first name, but Kate as a first name was quite appealing. We went back and forth for a while, but ended up with Charlotte Kay – no regrets. I still love the name Kate, though. I think it’s more timeless. Charlotte – while definitely an established and old-fashioned name – is the trendier of the two. I like to say it more than Kate. I like the feeling of the “rl” sound on my tongue. I know that’s kind of weird, but I have to say her name A LOT and I want to enjoy it.
I used to be constantly surprised at meeting other Charlottes – I really thought Ella (her older sister) would be surrounded by a ton of other Ellas, but no.
This is a tricky situation. For me, I’d call Charlotte “trendy” and “vintage revival” while I’d call Kate/Katherine more “timeless”. Katherine is more like Elizabeth in that they’ve always been common names and not at all trendy (though nicknames for them come & go). Elizabeth’s rank is more similar to Charlotte, but it’s always been ranked high, while the popularity of Charlotte has had much more variation.
If datedness is a concern, my feeling is that in 20-30 years, Charlotte will sound very dated/20teens while Katherine/Kate will probably sound like it always has-common & familiar, but not associated with any specific decade.
Swistle’s suggestion of taking them both off the table is a bit sad, but I think she’s correct. I like all of her suggestions and will add Lydia, Julia, Juliette, Molly, Elizabeth, Amelia, Audrey, Victoria, Caroline & Cassandra.
I’m a Kathryn/Kate. :) I was Kathryn until i was old enough to pick my own nickname. I don’t know about where you live but I live in Texas and I just moved here. I find that there are tons of Kaitlins, Katherines, Kathryns, Katys, Katies, Kats, Kims, Callys, Kayly, etc… but i’m the only Kate I know. Just a thought.
Olivia or Grace might be your style.
You could consider using both names, particularly since these names are favored by both you and your husband and this may be your only child. Charlotte Kate is nice and Katherine Charlotte could work too.
Technically, the name Cate is contained in Charlotte, so maybe you could use it as a nickname with using Katherine? That way you both get your way to an extent….
Oh yes! I like this suggestion! And, it would stand out from the Charlies that are Charlottes these days… even though you’re intending to go by the full name, I really do like how it makes Charlotte feel more timeless and less trendy–best of both worlds. The Charlotte Kate idea is cute, too :)
For some reason, I want to scream “Jillian” to you. I feel like it fits so many of your criteria in that it’s not overly common or trendy, but it is familiar. It stands alone without feeling formal, but still can be shortened to Jill if you prefer.
I’m not sure this would appeal to you at all…but how about Charlotte Kate? I think it is a charming double-barrel option. Katherine Charlotte works in a way too, or even Kate Charlotte (the latter is a little choppy, but as I say it I like it somehow…it seems like the name of a strong girl character in an old children’s book).
I also think it might be worth it to sit down with your husband and browse the SSA baby name list with him for 2012…you can find it by googling “SSA baby names”, and then searching for the top 1000 names, with numbers of births per name. That way, he can get a feel for how common Charlotte is these days, in case he thinks it is still rare as it was when you were growing up. Also you can look at state-by-state data…I think Charlotte is even more common in New England/the Mid-Atlantic. He can see how quickly Charlotte has risen in popularity, too, by using the function that searches for a name’s popularity over a given number of years. Charlotte has shot up 260+ places in 10 years! It is definitely the more trendy of the two names. Kate itself and in all its longer forms have been steadily popular for a century.
Otherwise, Swistle’s suggestion of a third name is appealing… Some other options, none of which are very common right now at all:
Mary
Emmeline
Louisa
Caroline (fairly common, but not like Charlotte or Kate)
Phoebe
Stella (top 100, but not top 20 like Charlotte/the Kate-family)
Antonia
Susannah
Adelaide
Penelope
Clarissa
Cassandra
Vivian
Violet
Rose
Rosalie
Rosalind
Miranda
Alice
Anne
Annabel
Emilia
Bianca
Cecilia
Julia
Juliette
Best of luck!
Have you considered a double first name? Charlotte-Kate or Katherine-Charlotte sound fantastic to me. You both get to use the name you like and she’ll have a distinguished and unique first name.
Although Charlotte has only “boomed” as a name recently, I don’t think of it as a trendy name at all. It’s been in use for a long time – Jane Austen had a character called Charlotte. So if the worry is that in 20 years it will sound dated, I don’t think that will be the case.
That said, it doesn’t have the same rich history of use as Katherine.
Maybe you need to both try to list what it is that you both like about your chosen name. For example, is part of Katherine’s appeal that it has a cute but still classic nickname? If so, and if that is important to you, you might struggle having a “Charlotte who goes by her full name”. Maybe looking at it this way will help you decide on one over the other, or if you’re still at a stalemate at least it would give you more direction in what other names to consider.
When my husband and I had this problem, one wanted one name and one the other, we decided that both names were off the table and we started again. Either you both love the name or it’s off! Then there’s no compromise, no resentment and no regret!
I know this sounds drastic, and it will be difficult to let go of your favorite names, but there are so many lovely names out there that you are sure to find one that you both love more than any other. Believe me, that ah ha! moment will come.
As far as popularity goes, between Kate and Charlotte, I would have to say that BOTH names are fairly popular right now overall. Katherine and Charlotte are both timeless names with Charlotte being “on trend” at the moment.
Charlotte Kate or Katherine Charlotte are both lovely names. This really is a hard one! At least if you use Charlotte first you can have just Kate, the name you really love as a middle, as it flows well. You could even call her Kate if you liked, that special name that only her mother uses. Katherine Charlotte is also pretty. Makes me think of Katie Scarlett and Gone With the Wind!
I think Susannah Kate or Susannah Jane are lovely names. Susannah is so familiar and yet so underused, not even in the top 1000!
If you both absolutely can’t let go of your favorite names then maybe you just need to wait until she is born to see which name ‘fits’ her personality better.
Good luck!
I love Kate so, but I do agree with Swistle that you need to find a compromise. Charlotte nn Kate/Cate might work, if you stick with it from the beginning.
I suggest
Victoria
Grace
Amelia
Claudia
Ava
Corinne
Lucy
Josephine
Matilda
Eleanor
Lydia
Susanna(h)
I’m a Katie and I love my name so I’m slightly biased. I think it’s a lot more timeless than Charlotte.
However, if you’ve reached a stalemate then it seems you’re in the market for a new name. I think using Charlotte and/or Katherine/Kate as middle name(s) is lovely. For a first name, have you considered:
Samantha (Sam)
Alexandra (Alex)
Amelia (Amy)
Also, it might help to go in with a short list and figure out your daughter’s name once you meet her.
Good Luck!
I like the idea of combining names. Charlotte-Kate is cute. I feel like I know a million Katies, but not that many Kates if that makes sense. To me, it feels like Katie took over where Jennifer/Jenny left off.
Katherine (no nn) is a refreshing choice, and I like the old-fashioned nns, such as Kit, Kitty, and Kay.
Charlotte might be spiking now, but I teach preschool and have only met one in 8 years. She went by Charly (pronounced Sharly).
I’m always surprised at how few “Lottie”s there are.
Me too! I’ve always adored Lottie, and it would absolutely be my choice if I were ever to have a Charlotte – I love Charlotte Madeleine, nn Lottie.
My Charlotte nned herself Lottie/Lotta after reading the Charlie and Lola books. I have to admit, it’s grown on me.
I would probably start from scratch since neither of you love the other’s favourite. There have been many great suggestions on here so far, so I don’t have that much to add.
I tried combining your two finalists and ended up with Carla (currently #755), maybe that could work?
Love both Katherine/Kate and Charlotte – I can see this is really difficult for you. I do agree that it may be best to just come up with a new name though. You’ve had quite a few suggestions, but I’ll just add a couple more:
Camilla (Millie)
Penelope
Sophia/Sophie
Isabel
Rebecca
Annabelle
Lucinda (Lucy/Cindy)
Eleanor/Nora
Caroline
Elizabeth (timeless and gorgeous like Katherine and Charlotte, and a plethora of nicknames to choose from)
Eliza
Juliet
Megan
Margaret
Best of luck! Please let us know how this dilemma turns out :)
In the last five years, working with children in several cities up and down the US East Coast, I’ve met more little Charlottes than little Kates. Most of the Katherines I’ve encountered under age 5 go by Katherine (of whatever spelling.) I agree with the point that several others have made… Charlotte will pin her as a child of the early 2000s, while a Kate could be almost any age. I think she’s more likely to encounter other Charlottes in a class at school (although, as Swistle has pointed out many times, that’s always a gamble.) Outside her generation — say at work, or in mixed-age social groups — she’s more likely to encounter other Kates.
Another point to consider is that if you name her Katherine, she may not always choose to go by Kate. This could be a positive for you — she can choose a different, less-used nickname if there are a lot of other Kates around — or a negative, if you’re mostly attached to the nickname and don’t like any others.
Both Katherine (Kate) and Charlotte are lovely classics, but I think of Kate as a more consistently popular classic than Charlotte over the centuries. In the last few years my impression has been that Kate has begun to run its coarse as an extremely popular name and is being used less than it was maybe 20 years ago, while Charlotte is trendy right now. I expect that Charlotte will continue its upward climb, with more and more of these little Charlottes being called “Charlie”. But that said, popularity doesn’t seem to be the biggest problem for you and your husband with choosing one or the other, but just personal preferences.
I like the idea of Charlotte Kate, called Charlotte-Kate. If you live in the UK where hyphenated names are not so unusual and used quite a bit right now, I’d suggest that you name her Charlotte-Kate, maybe Charlotte-Kate Elizabeth or Charlotte-Kate Margaret — a grand name along those lines. I just looked at the most recent baby name stats for England/Wales: no Charlotte-Kate, but 6 girls were named Charlotte-Rose in 2011.
You said that you’ve narrowed your list down to these two names, so it seems that you’ve already looked at many other possibilities. I agree with other posters that it’s a good idea to look again, but if that doesn’t yield a name you both love equally, I would suggest that you name your daughter Katherine Charlotte. One of you has to yield, and in cases like this — where neither parent dislikes the other’s choice, I think that the parent of the same gender should make the final choice. In this situation, Mom can more easily imagine being a Kate or a Charlotte and choose accordingly.
Best wishes!
How about a new first name and a double middle name using each of your original first choices? That way, neither of you has to abandon your first favorite entirely.
I’m sorry for your predicament. Combining the two is a wonderful idea. If that won’t work and starting over is your next step, the suggestion of Susannah made earlier is wonderful. Those I would add, which may or may not have been suggested before, are Lucinda, Camille, Audrey, Georgia, Roxanna/Roxanne and Laura.
Best wishes to you and your husband.
Rather than throwing out both names — and maybe always missing them, why not use them as a double middle name, maybe with a one or three syllable first name, to add a different rhythm — something like:
Jane Katherine Charlotte
Annabel Charlotte Katherine
Someday when you’re telling your daughter how she got her name (and girls tend to ask), you could tell her how you loved Katherine so much and her dad loved Charlotte so much, but you couldn’t decide which to use. So you and her dad looked and looked for a name you both loved equally and then included your own favorites as her middle names. It would make a wonderful naming story that most girls would love to be told again and again and feel very special because of the way her name was chosen and because she was given three names.
I know two Charlottes that go by Lottie – not in the same area of the country or the same age. I’ve always LOVED Charlotte. I also know two little girls named Charlie as their full name. Again, I just love Charlotte and either nickname.
Kate feels like there are a jillion variations. It’s a lovely name, it is, but there are just so many names with that nickname and it gives me a sort of bored feeling like Mary.
I DO love Charlotte-Kate or Charlotte Kate. Now that’s a fantastic combination.
Charlotte Kate was my first response to be called Charlotte Kate in full. to me it is is such a lovely, sweet name so classic and timeless sounding to me.
Charlotte has been very popular in Australia for a long time now so I don’t see it being at all trendy in a way that would make it seem dated in the future in fact I see it as being vintage, classic, old fashioned etc or even southern belle however this is an Australian perspective. in my state of NSW it has been top 100 since 1995 possibly longer as reccords for top 100 dont go back any futher and it has been top 10 for 10 years and last year number 2 my cousin was named Charlotte 18 years ago. Don’t forget Charlotte Bronte! I don’t see it becoming dated it is a beautiful name.
Katherine/ Kate is also timeless and the Duchess is only going to strengthen this, she is beautiful and glamorous and one day will be Queen the name Kate will live on for a very long time to come! Although I think she is a Catherine funny that the nn is Kate instead of Cate only just thought of this!
My vote is for Charlotte Kate!
Here are some other suggestions I think most are repeats but just shows we are all on the same wavelength here! I tried to chose thinking with timeless/classic, British, literary and southern belle in mind.
Margaret / Maggie/ Meg/ Greta/ Molly
Elizabeth / Eliza/ Beth
Bethany Kate! Like this combo!
Mary or Mary Beth or Mary Kate
Amelia
Adelaide
Delilah
Sophie
Hannah
Grace
Olivia
Harriet
Alice
Georgia
Louise/ Louisa
Holly/ Hollie
Annabelle/ Anna/ Annie
Arabella
Jane
Beatrice/Beatrix
Emma/ Emma Jane or Emma Kate
All the best
Or Eliza Kate
I would never describe the name Charlotte as trendy, but it has certainly become more popular. In general, classic girl names are what’s popular right now! We named our oldest daughter Anna in 2005. A classic name that I didn’t hear very often growing up (I was born in 1980) which is what we wanted. Something classic that wasn’t too popular, like Catherine and Elizabeth. Two years later with baby girl #2 we wanted a classic name that was even less common than Anna, but still a name that everyone knew and recognized. We came up with Charlotte and Jane. I wanted Jane more and my husband wanted Charlotte more. He won and oh how I wish we had ended up using Jane only because it is less popular. I still love the name Charlotte, I just wish it hadn’t become so popular. When she was born in 2007 it wasn’t even in the Top 100 SSA names which is fortunate because she doesn’t have any friends or classmates named Charlotte. But in 25 years when ages become mixed there will be a lot of Charlotte’s out there. I take comfort knowing that Charlotte fits her much more than the name Jane. Charlotte is a very strong name in my opinion and Jane a softer, quieter name. My Charlotte is strong-willed and has a bite to her. :) Another funny thing… When we named her Charlotte I was concerned she wouldn’t like her ‘grandma’ name and the fact that she was the few Charlotte her generation. How funny is that? Her middle name is Claire (after my grandpa Clare) and I told my husband that if she didn’t like the grandma name Charlotte she could go by Claire. Now I think Charlotte is more popular than Claire. Name trends are funny!
We named our 3rd baby girl is Katherine Regina and she goes by Kate. Our other girls are Maeve and Evelyn. As she was the third we wanted to give her a name that was Irish or semi-Irish as her sisters are, but the other name on our previous lists Fiona seemed like we are “trying to hard.” Katherine and Regina are both family names for us (Grandmothers on both sides) so that helped in the decision. As you inevitably will do, I reconsidered their names many times even years after they have grown into them. Although there are many Katherine’s and Kate’s around I still love the name. I agree while common, it’s timeless not trendy. She also loves her name and doesn’t want to be called anything else.