M. writes:
Hi! My husband and I don’t seem to have trouble coming up with first names (at least not yet), but middle names are another issue. One of my greatest holdups is initials. Do they really matter? I love initials when they work out well (my mom’s name is Deborah and after she changed her name at marriage, her initials are DEB), but sometimes they are very unfortunate. Are they cause for teasing? If we otherwise like a name, should we let initials stop us from naming our child that?
We have decided on the name Cecilia if our next baby is a girl. I’m strongly leaning toward using the middle name Paloma. That would give the child the initials CPR though, because our last name is similar to Roberts. Is that an issue or am I over thinking the matter. My husband himself has medical lingo initials (DNR) which I don’t think much about, but CPR is a much more common acronym (and one that even young children might pick up on). I do have some “runner up” middle names, but none that my husband is completely sold on (he hasn’t offered any suggestions of his own). They include: Noelle, Rae, and Briseis. What do you think, should we stick with Paloma? Should we find another middle name that would make less obvious initials? Thanks!
Asking “Do initials matter?” is like asking “Is football fun to watch?” It’s a matter of opinion, and the answers are going to cover the entire spectrum from “I would never use any initials that spelled anything” to “I don’t even mind using the ones that spell swear words.”
My own location on the spectrum is that I won’t use initials that spell bad words or iffy words (for example, PEE, PIG, BRA); and I’d prefer to avoid initials spelling anything at all—but I can be flexible for the right name. That is, I’d prefer that the child’s initials not spell even benign words such as CUP or VCR, but I’d weigh my love of the name against my preference for not spelling words with initials, and it could go either way depending on my love for the particular name. This is also a good place for The Baby Name Wizard‘s test about whether you’d want the name for yourself: I definitely would not want the initials PEE, but CUP wouldn’t be so bad. (And I have a soft spot for nursery-theme-inspiring initials such as BEE, and nickname initials such as DEB.)
The initials CPR are benign or even positive, so I’d start by asking myself, “If other children learned of these initials, AND if they were familiar with that acronym, then what sort of teasing could they do?” I can’t really think of anything serious in this case. “Nyah, nyah, CPR, you…save the lives of millions. Nyah.” Perhaps there would be a little bit of “mouth to mouth” joking in middle school. That’s the worst I can think of, and that’s not so bad it would make me cross off the name.
If you decide the initials outweigh your love of the name Paloma, then the next option is to change the name to something else (and maybe get another chance to use Paloma for a future daughter):
Fiona
Imogen
Lola
Magnolia
Mariah
Naomi
Noemi
Nola
Ramona
Roma
Romy
Simone
Viola
Zola
I like Naomi and Ramona best for coming close to the sound of Paloma.
(Or of course you could change the first name, but it sounds like the first name is set and the middle is still flexible.)
I think you’ve chosen a beautiful name and I don’t see a problem with the initials CPR.
One of my daughters has the initials CEO which seem quite obvious to me, but it is very rare that anyone comments on them. She is almost ten and entering 5th grade and has never experienced anything more than the occasional, “Let the CEO handle it” type of thing. As with CPR, it is difficult to imagine negative comments, but maybe: “You? CEO? You’d never make it that far.” It just hasn’t been an issue.
As the new emphasis with CPR is just the chest compressions and not the mouth-to-mouth, I think that teasing related to that would be less of a worry with new babies than newborns of 10 years ago.
Swistle’s exactly right: initials matter, but “how much” is completely subjective. I think asking yourself if YOU’D want those initials will probably steer you toward your true feelings about a particular set of initials. My second son’s initials spell “ACK,” which isn’t really a word, but in fact makes me chuckle, because he is the type of boy who frequently provokes that response from me. Also, his nickname is Gus (August), so I don’t always think of him as having those initials anyway.
However, our runner-up name for him was Frederick nn Fritz (FRITZ! sigh), but I couldn’t pull the trigger b/c our last name starts with K. The similar ending/beginning sounds were a minor issue but the initials killed it for me. Even with a middle initial less obvious than C, I just couldn’t do FCK, or FK. My husband thought I was completely insane, but I COULD. NOT. DO. IT. I also can’t believe people go by the initials “BJ”…so clearly I am pretty far to the juvenile end of this spectrum. Ahem.
In your specific case, I am not bothered by CPR initials and I would not mind having those initials. Pretty tame.
I’m pretty far on the “I don’t like initials to spell things” spectrum, but CPR doesn’t really bother me. Very young kids are unlikely to know what CPR stands for, even if they have heard the acronym. I agree there could be some mouth to mouth jokes in middle or high school, but that’s only if people make the connection. A few of her friends will likely know her middle name-but most kids probably won’t.
I agree that most kids won’t even know her middle name – to most people, her initials will be CR. I also agree with Swistle that CPR isn’t a negative thing anyway, so I wouldn’t let it stand in the way if you love the names. If it does still bother you, would you consider adding a middle name? Charlotte Paloma Noelle Roberts, for instance?
I don’t care. My mother’s initials are PMS and I teased her about it…once. For most people it was just PS, which is fine.
My initials, on the other hand, are BS without my middle names. So I write BCS or BCLS instead.
My grandmother had an obnoxious habit of calling me CBS for a while when I was going by my middle name, but I had an obnoxious habit of calling her Grandma instead of her first name as she preferred.
The kid’s going to get teased. If CPR is all they can come up with, Cecilia’s in good shape.
heehee, do you think little kids today would know “VCR”? Possibly. The kids I tutor didn’t know what a Walkman was!
As someone who grew up with the initials BEG, I can honestly say, no one but me noticed and I came out unscathed. (It’s a little worse now that after taking my husbands last name it’s BEGS, and daily at my work shortened to BS… but I’m old enough that no one is going to tease. We get a chuckle out of it.)
I just had a thought…. what if baby Cecilia Paloma Roberts grows up to be a lifeguard or paramedic or nurse or something. Then it will be AWESOME that her initials are CPR!
We accidentally gave our son the initials VDMV – with VD being the first two. Ai yi yi, I’m still cringing about it. To be fair we had the HARDEST TIME coming up with a name – my husband really was incredibly difficult (he wanted Draco of all things, and really didn’t give up on it as an option until the day or two before the baby arrived) and so we settled on Victor at the absolute last minute possible. His middle name is David, a family name. I keep trying to tell myself that VD is an impossibly outdated term that kids won’t know in another 10 years, since we’ve long since moved on to STI with a long stint of STD before that – but oh! I still cringe. So there’s a data point for you.
My last name starts with D and I REALLY love the name Vera and am strongly considering it. My only qualm is VD and I don’t think I could do that to her. So it’s been 8 years since your post lmao I’m curious to how the name worked out for your son?!
In my experience, whenever initials are used, it’s almost always just the first and last name. My full initials are HHO, but shortened to first and last names, that becomes HO. It’s unfortunate, but I wouldn’t trade my name for anything. It fits my personality and is full of family meaning. Even if your daughter’s initials are CPR, she’ll usually be referred to by the initials CR, anyways! Problem solved. I don’t think CPR should block you from using Cecilia Paloma — a stunning combo, by the way.
I don’t see much teasing potential, if any. I wondering how I’d feel about CPR on a backpack or a lunch box. Okay, I think. It might even cause people to say, “You’re a lifesaver, Cecilia,” in the event they knew her initials. And Cecilia Paloma is a gorgeous name, so I’d go with it.
I think it really depends on the initials. My husband and I are planning to hyphenate our last names for our children, which will give us I-K. For us, that meant no D names because, let’s face it, D.I-K. is just mean. In fact, one of our favorite girl name combos can’t be used because it would have generated P.R.I-K. But we are ok with S, V, R, etc because those aren’t as bad!
Cecilia Paloma is beautiful and I think you should stick with the middle name. The initials CPR are not negative and would rarely be used anyways. I am usually one to notice people’s initials and if I came across CPR I might just think “that’s interesting” and move on.
And because this reminded me of an “initials” story: My dad’s initials are JAB. His mom sewed his initials onto his shirt pockets which resulted in kids jabbing him with their finger on his pocket. Sad and funny (mostly because I don’t believe this story to actually be true).
My friend’s children are APR and CPR. Obviously no preschooler will know what APR financing is, but CPR has yet to be an issue for her guy. When initials are required he’s more often “CR”.
My initials are KEG. I disliked it a bit in high school because I’m Southern and we monogram EVERYTHING. Easy fix– use a more traditional monogram (with a big G in the center) instead of a block monogram. Besides monograms, I can’t think of any “what do your initials spell?” discussions.
Kids are not name obsessed and hanging out on Swistle. Unless it’s A-S-S, nobody will notice, care, or tease.
That’s so funny! I came this close to being a KEG! Well, let me back up. My maiden initials were EKM – my mom had a strong aversion to initials spelling anything, good OR bad (something I inherited!). My mom wanted Eva Kourtney (EKM) but my dad fought hard for Kourtney Eva (KEM). In the end, my mom won out and I was EKM. I always did like my middle name better and wished I had been KEM. When I married I took my husband’s name and became EKG. Then I was glad I had the initials in the order they were in! But there is a difference with the initials you are given at birth, and the ones you get by marrying….
Although, as you say, you can always monogram the traditional way with the big G in the middle. I like that better anyway!
I’m pretty sure the only time that the initials CPR will every matter is if your daughter ever wants to use it as her roller derby name.
I don’t think CPR is a big issue.
However, have you considered two middle names?
Cecilia Paloma Jane Roberts
Cecilia Paloma Rae Roberts
etc.
As double middle holder myself, it’s not a big hassle. I also like the sound of the two R’s in “Rae Roberts.” Or maybe save Paloma for a future daughter? Paloma and Cecilia sound like amazing sister names!
One of my sons loves it that he and each of his 3 sons have initials that spell a word: RAP, CAP, AMP, NAP. I certainly didn’t think of that when I named him, and I think it mostly just happened with his sons. The second son didn’t have a middle name until after he was born and then a family name was chosen.
I don’t think most people pay much attention to initials, and many kids aren’t aware of their classmates’ middle names and thus, initials. I would avoid initials that spell out something negative, but CPR isn’t offensive at all. I’d go with the first and middle names you love.
Initials don’t matter, who ever really knows your middle name anyway apart from family? I say it is not an issue, go with the name you love.
Swistle, CUP is not a set of benign initials. Spell them out loud. (Didn’t you get teased in elementary school by being asked to spell I CUP out loud? I did.)
All right, thennnnnnn…CAT. Or ANT? Or…ARM.
My initials are KEG (KEGS now that I am married) and it never bothered me, although around 6th grade I decided they were no longer appropriate initials to have on my backpack. I dont ever remember anyone teasing me for it though and i would think KEG is worse than CPR. My sister’s initials are JAG and since she has a long first name and does not go by any nickname for it, her friends have always called her JAG, and it fits. She also has a friend whose initials are KEG who goes by KEG as a nickname too. On the other hand, my husband’s initials are MRS and he has always hated them.
I grew up with initials that spelled LAW. A benign word without negative connotations. I really loved it, and got a kick out of it. I never got teased about that, and in fact was sad to give it up when I married and chose to change my last name.
I was looking for a name that would have word-initials for my daughter, but ended up using the perfect name even though her initials don’t spell anything.
My initials spell EKG. I changed my name when I married, so these are my married initials. Funny (or awkward?) story: when I was dating my husband, we were together somewhere and I was wearing a name tag with my full name, “Eva Kourtney M”. We were talking with someone who noticed my name tag and said, “Hey, good thing your last name doesn’t start with G! Then your initials would spell EKG! Ha ha ha!” Meanwhile, my future husband’s last name did indeed start with G and I thought there was a very good change we’d get married and my initials would someday indeed be EKG. I didn’t say this, however. I just smiled politely and changed the subject! I never have found anything funny or weird about EKG, and it is a medical term, although less known than CPR, I would imagine. I didn’t really know what an EKG was for many years and it’s never bothered me in the slightest, although I do smile when I hear those initials (EKG) mentioned on news reports or what have you.
But I will say I’m very glad I didn’t end up KEG, like some previous posters. I commented above that my first and middle was almost switched when I was a baby, and ultimately I’m very thankful to be an EKG versus a KEG!
Before I was married my initials were HAK. I cannot remember ever using all 3 of them, never had anything monogrammed, and only remember one time a friend saying “hehe, your initials are HAK.” Whenever I had to initial anything i just used HK. My dad’s are JRK, and he’s never cared. I even had a friend who got married and went from PES to PEE happily because she disliked her maiden name that much.
I think if it were my own kid, I’d avoid bad words, but anything else is fair game. And I’d be more concerned about the first-last initials because those you use more. No BM, etc.
I’m super late to the game but I didn’t see my point made. CPR might not end up being her initials when or if she gets married. My aunt ended up being GAS after she changed her maiden name. I think the initials-worrier is mostly worried about teasing and whatnot, which usually doesn’t happen much once the kid is old enough to get married (or legally change her name for any reason, really), though. I think I’d only avoid a name if it spelled a bad word.