T. writes:
I’ve been reading your blog for years, but never thought I’d write in since I had our names all picked out. We just found out yesterday that we are having a baby girl due in early November, and now that I actually have to commit to a name, I’m second-guessing our choice.
If this was a boy, his name would be Anderson James. James is my father and brother’s name. I think the name is strong and handsome, different enough but not obscure. Our last name is Smith. For a girl, a name that my husband and I have both loved for years has been Nola. I’ve hoped as each of our friends became pregnant that they wouldn’t use it so I could hang on to it. I’ll admit that when I mention it to family I get strange looks. Friends either love it or hate it. That doesn’t bother me too much since I would prefer a name that is not incredibly popular, but will it bother me once she is here? Is it so obscure that in a few years I won’t like the name anymore? I also have no idea which middle name I would choose for Nola.
Other names I like but my husband doesn’t (he only seems to like Nola and doesn’t understand why we are still having this discussion):
Fiona (love the long O in this and Nola)
Penelope (nickname Nell)
Georgina
Isla
ScarlettI also love the name Charlotte, even though it’s popularity turns me off. It is my husband’s mother’s and grandmother’s name and the nickname options are very appealing to me. I would also consider this in the middle since I’d like to use a family name but I’m not sure it goes with Nola. My husband likes one-syllable middle names with Nola, such as Kate, Grace, Eve and Rose. Other family names we have (but don’t seem to work in the middle) are Frances, Antoinette, Diane, Kaye, Rafaela and Sofie.
We are open to additional name suggestions from your readers and really appreciate your help!
I think it’s normal to suddenly second-guess a name choice, especially when you find out something new about the baby: it’s one thing to say “This for a girl, this for a boy,” and another thing to KNOW it’s a girl so she WILL be that name. A short period of re-evaluation seems appropriate, and may happen again shortly before she’s born, and/or shortly after.
It doesn’t sound to me as if the agitation is anything more than that. You and your husband have both loved the name for years; it’s unlikely that it’s suddenly the wrong choice. And once she’s here in person, the odds are on you (and everyone else) liking the name more and more, not less.
The popularity of names such as Nora and Lila and Lola suggest to me that Nola will not be so obscure that you’ll get strange looks for long. Here’s the Social Security chart:
(screen shot from SSA.gov)
The little underlined “a” means the name wasn’t in the Top 1000 that year. The little a’s go back until 1964 when Nola was last in the Top 1000. From there back to 1880 (the first year for which there is data available online), the name Nola was in the Top 1000 every year—never getting very common, but always there.
Charlotte makes a wonderful middle name. I love the middle name position for names that are eliminated for reasons such as being too popular or starting with the wrong initial, so I’d already think it was a great choice for you—but then it’s ALSO a family name so that’s even more wonderful. Nola Charlotte Smith. Excellent choice.
I also think other names from your list work in the middle: Nola Diane Smith, Nola Kaye Smith, Nola Frances Smith. If Kaye is a good family name, and if you’d prefer to use a family name and your husband prefers a one-syllable middle, then Nola Kaye Smith seems like another excellent choice. I like that it lets you call her “Nola Kaye” if you want to (I’d want to).
I think Nola is lovely and you should use it! Remember that once she comes, it will be her name and no one will second guess it!
Nola Charlotte sounds perfect! I love honor names as middle names, but think that works most ‘authentically’ when the name is chosen both for the person(s) it honors as well as for the name itself. Passing over a mother or grandmother for the name of an unknown great-great-grandmother, for example, just because that person’s name happened to be more appealing, changes that from an honor name to just a name from a family tree. Thus I would use Charlotte, the name of dad’s mom and grandmother, ahead of Kaye, unless Kaye holds equal weight in the mom’s family. And actually, if they were just ‘random’ names, I would definitely choose Nola Charlotte — very classy, plus I think the present popularity of Charlotte gives the more obscure Nola a more current image.
We have a very similar naming situation in my extended family: first baby due in September: It’s a girl! But now mom-to-be has had some doubts — similar to yours — about using the name she has liked for several years and the name he’s been on board with since she told him about it. It too is an old name — very popular around the turn of the 20th century but not quite in the Top 1000 now. That name also elicits “strange looks”, especially from older family members. I just forwarded her this post with your concerns and Swistle’s very reassuring response. This baby girl will almost certainly be named the long-favored name, and her middle name will be Grace, the name of the dad’s mother.
I will be especially interested in hearing what you name your baby girl. Please let us know!
Thanks, Patricia! Your response is reassuring and I agree that a more popular middle-name (especially a family name) is a nice balance to the more uncommon Nola. I will definitely keep you posted on the name we end up choosing.
Ooooh, may I know the name? I’m intensely curious now! I adore older names, especially the uncommon ones. Good luck to mum-to-be!
The name is M@bel — M@bel Gr@ce — to be called M@bel or M@isie (my favorite) or Mabie — and then they’ll see which one sticks. Mom prefers M@bel; Dad likes M@isie. Mabie is a new idea and the spelling has been uncertain, but today I found it mostly spelled Mabie online. It’s a Scottish surname as well as a rare nickname. Mom likes Mabie because it’s closest to M@bel.
In the US M@bel is not quite fashionable, slowly gaining in usage but just below the Top 1000 (placed at # 1051 in 2012), but in England/Wales the name was #360 in 2011 (last stats). M@isie too is not yet in the US Top 1000 (placed at #1508), while it’s extremely popular in England/Wales: #22, while Maisy is #102. I absolutely love the combination of M@bel “M@isie” — in fact, I suggested M@isie as a possible nn for M@bel after reading that VP Biden has a teenage grandaughter named Roberta M@bel, called M@isy.
I have to admit that I was one who was not at all taken with M@bel at first. It seemed a fuddy-duddy old name to me (compounded by memories of Great-Aunt M@bel — b. 1905, a spinster aunt, somewhat bemused, whom I met once when I was a child). But after researching the name, I came to see its appeal. Mom loves vintage names, and recently I found the ‘missing link’: verification that M@isie was sometimes used as a nn for M@bel in the early 20th century: http://freepages.misc.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~ianherbie/wp01_112.htm (plus 3 other linkings, all in England).
So that will most likely be the name, and while I know (and Mom knows) that some older folks may question choosing that name (her step-grandma laughed when she heard the name, thought Mom was kidding), I think it’s the perfect name for this baby girl. I heard today that the parents are “95% sure” they’re going with M@bel Gr@ce. She will be my second great-granddaughter, so very special. (The older is 3-year-old J@ne — J@ne Violet Smith, who is the same age as our youngest grandchild Henry.)
PS Jemima, as I wrote the above, I wondered if you might be British (Jemima + “mum”). ??? If so, what is the perception/image of M@bel where you live?
Gorgeous! I LOVE M@bel! I also love Mirabel – similar, but perhaps a little less “fuddy duddy” (which I personally don’t think M@bel is anyway). Love it!
I’m actually from Australia (well picked up! I did live in England for a couple of years too!). I haven’t heard it around at all – I don’t personally know any M@bels (or Mirabels for that matter), but I would absolutely love to meet one. I think a little M@bel would fit in really well with Jane and Henry; and also with the Isabellas and Charlottes and Madeleines these days. Best of luck!
Jemima, it’s interesting that you’re an Australian who loves Mirabel. My 6-year-old Australian-American granddaughter (her daddy is from Australia) is called Mira, but for her it’s a nn for Miranda. I’ve been lucky to visit you country twice and love it!
My great-grandmother’s name was Nola June. I’ve always loved Nola and agree with Swistle that it fits in well with current names like Nora, Nell & Lola.
I think it’s perfectly normal to 2nd guess a long loved named. I also think it’s reasonable to explore options and to even have another name in reserve, just in case. At the very least, then you’ll be prepared if you were to have another girl in the future. Explain it that way to your husband and assure him you don’t want to take Nola off the list.
I think Fiona & Nola would make a great sibling set. Maybe your husband would warm up to Fiona if you approached it that way. Or, since you like both names, Nola can be used as a nickname for Finnola.
From your list of potential middles, I do like Nola Charlotte and Nola Kaye. If Kaye has the same level of meaning as Charlotte, then that would be my preference.
Thanks, A. I have already put out the idea of using Fiona for a sister, should there be one. It’s way too far ahead for my husband to really think about, but I think I could convince him.
I know a little Nola – she’s about 5 years old now – and she is a darling child. I never heard the name before I met her and I’ve never encountered it since, but I definitely encourage you to go for it! It’s both unusual and very intuitive to say/spell and has a lovely sound.
I know a toddler named Nola. I don’t think it’s a name that would get odd looks, unless you lived around New Orleans maybe. I’d urge you to choose Nola Kaye. It is so pleasant to the ear and not overdone like Charlotte.
I like Nola though I can’t hear it without thinking “New Orleans”. I do prefer Charlotte over it because I think it holds up a bit more with Smith. I know your Charlotte Smith would not be the only Charlotte Smith in the world… but it is somehow more memorable to me than Nola Smith (and a bit easier to say). I like the crispness of Charlotte Smith. Nola seems rather plain to me somehow and that plainness with Smith is not quite as pleasing. I also tend to do a double-take when I see it and think “Nova” (I like Nova Smith a wee bit more– it is more memorable). Or I see Nola and think “abbreviation” (I think this is the New Orleans issue).
Sorry to be rather negative… I just think with such a history of women named Charlotte in your family, it would be a shame not to use the name in the first name spot. I like Charlotte Nola Smith more than Nola Charlotte Smith but I would urge you to consider using Charlotte no matter what in the middle name spot. It’s not often that you have such a great name strongly present in your family tree. And with so many good nickname options for Charlotte (Charlie, Carlie, Lolo, Lottie, and I’ve also heard Chatty though that is more daring and possibly a bit much!) it seems like a perfect choice.
I like all of your other name choices as well. Fiona Smith is really soft and pleasant. Penelope Smith is very charming. Isla Smith is a little harder to say, Georgina Smith is nice though, and I especially love Scarlett Smith. Penelope Charlotte Smith is really great.
I know a little girl named Nola Jane and I do love Nola with a one syllable middle name (her parents also considered Rose).
p.s. Jane is very similar to James, so definitely consider whether you think you will have another and will still want to use James for a boy!
Funny, Annika, my husband likes the idea of using Nola James. I like the sound of it, but I don’t want to use James for a girl and lose it for a possible future son. I also think it adds to the oddness of the name and could be confused as a boy if at a quick glance one read ‘Nolan James’.
I LOVE Nola! Do it!!!
I like Nola! I had a friend growing up whose sister was named Nola – she’d be in her late 30s now. I don’t remember ever thinking her name was strange, even though I’ve never known anyone else with that name. I think its uniqueness works perfectly with a last name like Smith. Nola Charlotte Smith is lovely. If you weren’t already aware of the New Orleans connection, though, you should probably give some thought to how you’d feel if people asked you about it. For me, it makes no difference, but you and your husband might disagree. From your list of other choices, Fiona is my favorite.
Thanks, EP. I’ve considered the New Orleans connection, but we live in the northeast and most people I’ve mentioned the name to don’t immediately make the association. I have one close friend from New Orleans and she would never consider Nola as a possible name for a child because she refers to her hometown as “NOLA”. I feel that this won’t come up very often, and when it has, I’ve actually redirected to the fact that Nola is a small town in Italy near where my grandparents are from. That isn’t why I’m considering the name, but it seems to divert from New Orleans.
I agree that depending on where you live, the New Orleans connection becomes less relevant. I’m from the northeast too and didn’t know that NOLA was an abbreviation for the city until a few years ago, when I became friends with someone who had lived there. Even now, it wasn’t the first thing I thought of when I saw the name, just wanted to bring it up because it’d be something I’d want to take into consideration myself! My vote stays with using Nola. I love that it’s the Italian town where your grandparents are from. What a lovely connection, even if it’s not the reason you originally found the name. Good luck!
I love the name Nola and have it on my short list for future daughters should we have another. I like it for many of the same reasons that I chose my daughter’s name: relatively unknown but similar to very popular names; trending up on the Social Security site, but low enough that it there shouldn’t be multiple in her class or surrounding classes; intuitive spelling and pronunciation; no obvious negative connotation (if anything association with a city aligns well with another popular naming trend). I would try to ignore the strange looks – people have opinions before the baby is born that strangely disappear when attached to your adorable daughter. My mother loves my daughter’s name but hates all the similar names Baby Name Wizard suggests. This tells me she also would have hated the name I chose if it wasn’t attached to her granddaughter when she first heard it. I too worried my daughter’s name would be obscure; some things that helped were telling the nurses at the doctor’s office (I think it’s part of their job description to “love” every name) and choosing a very common middle name that also was an honor name. I find in situations where I think the name may be ill received (telling my grandparents her name, for example) it helps to say the first and middle. It takes the edge off because the middle name is special and familiar. Also if my daughter wants a top ten name she can choose to go by her middle name later in life. For that reason I love Nola Charlotte, so much in fact I wish I had a Charlotte in my family so I could use it! We did have a back up name chosen, as I questioned the name on and off throughout my pregnancy, but now that she’s here Zara Elizabeth is the perfect name – as I’m sure Nola will be for you!
“I too worried my daughter’s name would be obscure; some things that helped were telling the nurses at the doctor’s office (I think it’s part of their job description to “love” every name)…”
LOL! I never thought of that before, but I think you’re right!
“and choosing a very common middle name that also was an honor name. I find in situations where I think the name may be ill received (telling my grandparents her name, for example) it helps to say the first and middle. It takes the edge off because the middle name is special and familiar.”
Good advice: I’ll pass that along to the mother-to-be whom I mentioned above.
Between Kaye and Charlotte with Nola, Kaye is also rather outdated (Kate would work better today), while Charlotte as a currently popular name with a strong family reason for choosing it might make the full name — Nola Charlotte — sound more current and appealing overall.
PS Lovely name your daughter has — and as you no doubt know, royal too: Princess Anne’s daughter Zara Anne Elizabeth.
Thanks, Patricia! One of my pros for the name Zara was the royal connection – it can’t remain unknown in the US for long with the Royal Baby craze ;)
Just looked at SSA stats: Princess Anne’s daughter Zara was born in 1981, but Zara didn’t make the Top 1000 until 2005 (#920), so that doesn’t seem to have been a strong influence on the name’s usage. Maybe Zara is being used more now because of the current popularity of the letter “Z”. Last year Zara ranked at 556, up 108 places. I just noticed that Zoe has climbed to #30 and Zoey, #20 (I had no idea…) and that there are 26 boy/girl names beginning with Z in the 2012 Top 1000.
Just looked at SSA stats: Princess Anne’s daughter was born in 1981, but Zara didn’t make the Top 1000 until 2005, so that doesn’t seem to have been a strong influence on the name’s usage. Maybe Zara is being used more now because of the current popularity of the letter “Z”. Last year Zara ranked at 556, up 108 places. I just noticed that Zoe has climbed to #30 and Zoey, #20 (I had no idea…) and that there are 26 boy/girl names beginning with Z in the 2012 Top 1000!
(Silly computer said I hadn’t posted, but I had: sorry for the double post.)
Zara Elizabeth is beautiful and I love how similar our naming stories are. Thanks for the reassurance, Meg!
My best friend just named her newborn Magnolia Jean (Jean is a family name) and they call her Nola. I think it is a beautiful name that gives little Nola several options as she gets older. She can choose from Nola, Maggie, or Magnolia depending on where she is in life and what fits her best.
I think Nola is a great name, and I love that it’s different and distinctive (especially with your very common last name). Nola Smith is memorable, whereas Charlotte Smith seems much more generic to me just because Charlotte is very popular.
Charlotte makes a great middle name though! Nola Charlotte Smith. One thing to consider (though not a big deal) is that Charlotte is a southern town, and Nola is a nickname for a southern city.
Nola Rose flows beautifully too.
I didn’t make that connection, Krista. Thanks for pointing it out. Funny that I also like Georgia. With all of the Southern influence, you wouldn’t guess we are from the northeast!
I guess I’m the first person to notice this but I would absolutely NOT recommend you name your daughter Nola Kaye. If misheard, it might sound like her name was Enola Gay (after the famous plane that dropped the a-bomb on Japan). It could be explained away sure, but I would hate that association for myself. Nola Charlotte is lovely, I highly recommend that over Nola Kaye.
Nola itself reminded me of Enola and thus Enola Gay, but I didn’t catch the similarity of the combination Enola Kaye.
I just googled Enola Gay to see how the plane got its name: “The Enola Gay is a Boeing B-29 Superfortress bomber, named for Enola Gay Tibbets, the mother of the pilot, Colonel Paul Tibbets, who selected the aircraft while it was still on the assembly line. On 6 August 1945, during the final stages of World War II, it became the first aircraft to drop an atomic bomb…. ”
I continue to think Nola Charlotte could be the perfect name for this baby girl.
I think Nola’s the right name for you. I like Charlotte, Kaye, or even Penelope in the middle slot.
I second Heather’s comment; I immediately thought of the Enola Gay when I heard Nola Kaye. Since there are other, just as significant family meaning names, I’d save Kaye and use Charlotte, Rose or one of the others.
You could always name her Fiona and call her Nola. It’s not that much of a stretch.
Or Finula – an Irish name that combines the two! Nah stick with Nola Charlotte it is a gorgeous name! there are enought Charlottes running around let’s get a few more Nola’s. I had a best friend growing up named Nicole whom I always called Noley affectionately I love it and she still gets it today.
I’m another who IMMEDIATELY thought of the Enola Gay when I read Nola Kaye. Save Kaye for a future kiddo; you have plenty of other beautiful names as choices!
I wonder if you’d feel more at peace with Nola if you had a longer first name that could be nicknamed Nola? Someone already posted about Magnolia, and I’m wondering if Eleanor could reasonably get there too. Eleanor Charlotte Smith, “Nola”? I feel like with Nell and Nora both coming from Eleanor, Nola should work as well. Or, one baby name site says it comes from Fionnuala http://babynamesworld.parentsconnect.com/meaning_of_Nola.html (which may be why Fiona and Nola sounded so similar to me when I first read the post).
The other thing: to me, Nola doesn’t fit with the rest of the names you like. I very much associate it with women in about their 50s or 60s (which I guess makes sense based on the SSA data Swistle referenced) and the rest of the names you listed seem much more classic and/or contemporary. (Full disclosure: my sister and I were both given names that were only popular during our parents’ generations and we hated our names growing up for that reason – she, at age 26, still hates hers enough that she legitimately considers changing it – so I’m seeing this through that lens.) Also, though, it could lead to some odd-sounding sibling sets for future children, which you may be OK with but I wanted to point out. I can picture the other mentioned names working well together on sisters or with Anderson James. I can also see Eleanor working better with them than Nola. (Again, only my opinion.)
Some other suggestions that you might happen to like: Stella; Ruby; Genevieve; Caroline; Juliette; Helena; Elena; Lydia; Georgia; Vivienne; Clara; Francesca; Talia.
Nola Kaye is absolutely stunning and seems to be just what you are looking for – a one-syllable middle name that also has family significance and is definitely a girls’ name. Nola Charlotte is also beautiful!
Best of luck – can’t wait to hear your update :)
I immediately thought of Enola Gay when I heard Nola Kaye too. But I love the name Nola and you have so many other beautiful choices for middles. Perhaps you could use Nola Charlotte or Nola Grace now and then save Kaye if your next child is a Fiona?
I love Nola and still like Kaye as the middle. I come from a place/family where middles are really never said with the full name so having Enola Gay would really rarely come up.
I absolutely love Nola. Go for it!
My daughter Nola is almost 6. It is a family name for us and we love it. We initially got some of those funny looks you mentioned but they stopped once she was born. Over the years we have received a lot of positive response especially at school. It is easy to spell and pronounce and she is the only one thus far. We call her Nola Noli or Nolita. Love Nola Francesca as an alternative to Nola Frances.
Nola used to be one of my favorite names but my husband vetoed immediately. I love Nola Charlotte and definitely think you should use Nola. Also as a middle suggestion Nola Regan (pronounced ree-gun) gives you a shorter middle and Irish flair.
Nola Charlotte has my vote! It is classically lovely but has some backbone, too. It’s easy for me to imagine her with a sister named Rafaela Kaye or a brother named Anderson James. Exceptional taste you have! Best wishes to you, your husband, and your sweet daughter!
I think Nola Charlotte is lovely. I also like Noa Charlotte if you decide you’d like something a bit different.
I think Nola is a lovely name! I actually think it goes well with your other girl choices as well as with your son’s name, despite what a previous poster thought. When you hear a name used in the wrong generation (such as a baby born today named Barbarah or Diane) that is a true shock! But Nola does not seem anachronistic to me, and seems instead like she fits right at home with current sounds like Nora and Lola and Nolan.
I like Nola on her own, but also think Magnolia, nn Nola, is so wonderful. Magnolia is on our own list and she goes so well with the other names you like.
Can’t wait for your update!
Ooops! I just realized that you don’t actually have a son but have a name picked out for a boy. My mistake. Anderson is a great name too! : )