Erica writes:

I’m due with my second child, a boy, in just under three months and I’m starting to feel a little frantic about finding the right name for him. I would absolutely love your help. My name is Erica, my husband is Craig, and our last name is $tubblefield. Our three year old daughter’s name is Emrie Kent. We decided on Emrie because we both really liked Emery but felt like that middle syllable made it a little choppy and her middle name, Kent, was my dad’s name. We decided on her name early on in my pregnancy and never looked back. Boys names are so much more difficult for us! As far as style, we’re kind of all over the place and we don’t really love any of the names on our list. If this baby were a girl, her name would most likely have been Holland which is my husband’s great-grandmother’s surname. Other girl names I love are Ivy, Story, Jules and Elodie. We’d like for this baby’s middle name to be James after my husband’s grandfather. We are looking for something somewhat uncommon but not trendy. For example, I really like Asher, Archer, Milo, Bennet etc. but they are much too trendy and I’d really prefer to go with something more classic yet unique. Also, my husband doesn’t like any of those names :). We also really like surname names. We would like to avoid using another E because we’d like to have at least one more child and don’t want to get stuck with the all-E thing later on. I would also like to avoid B names as I don’t want his initials to be BS (does that even matter? Am I being weird about this?). And I’d like to avoid C’s as well because my daughter and I are both E’s and if my husband and our son were both C’s, well, that’s just a little too cutesy for me. So, no E, B, or C names.

Names that we’ve tossed around but haven’t fallen in love with:

Abel – we both like this name but my husband thinks that the double ‘ble’ sound of Abel $tubble (field) sounds weird & I kinda think he’s right.

Merrit – we both sort of like but don’t love. And I worry that people would call him Mary.

Noel – this is a family name that I like but, again, we’re not sold on. Also, Noel James doesn’t really work together.

And that’s pretty much our list at this point. Pathetic, right?!

Another problem we have is that a lot of names I like end with the letter S which doesn’t work with our last name. For example, Hayes, Brooks, West, etc. When said together they end up sounding like Hey $tubblefield, Brooke $tubblefield, Wes $tubblefield.

As you can see, we need your help! I know there’s an amazing name out there for this little guy and I’d love for you and your readers to help us figure out what it is!

And I promise to send an adorable photo of him with a name update once he’s here :). Thanks so much!

I too prefer to avoid initials such as BS. I don’t think it’s a disaster to use them, but when I put it to the “Would _I_ want this name?” test, it fails: no, I don’t want those initials. So I tend to avoid them when possible, though I can imagine situations where a name would be worth it.

I agree that the repeating -bel/-ble sound of Abel $tubblefield is less than ideal. Would you like Abram instead?

Noel James works for me, so I’d leave that one on the list.

It takes away the family-name connection, but Nolan is another option. (I also like Joel, but not with James.)

Are there any family surnames that would work as a first name, in addition to Holland?

I’m not sure if anyone would use the nickname Mary/Merry for the name Merritt. I’m hoping someone who knows a Merritt can tell us if it’s happened. It’s not a nickname that would have occurred to me, I don’t think; it seems kind of like using the nickname Callie for a man named Calvin, or Annie for a man named Andrew, or Ellie for a man named Elliot: conceivable, but it seems like most people naturally avoid it.

It’s difficult to find a name that is both classic and uncommon. It generally means looking for names that are not currently in style—which is another way of saying the names are not currently very well-liked. You could for example use Archibald instead of Archer to avoid trendiness, but that would be a strong stream to swim against.

Speaking of swimming upstream, another issue here is that it looks to me as if your tastes are very compatible with current fashions. I think it can help to avoid the word “trendy,” since I don’t think anyone would want to think of their naming style that way—and yet the upshot is a nice thing: you like names that are in style, which is lucky for both you and your children. Imagine only liking names that everyone else considered shockingly ugly and unusable.

Where was I? Oh, yes: so I think the goal here is to find a name that most people don’t even consider, but then when they hear it on someone else’s baby they’re surprised to find they like it. The problem with this goal is that that would make a good definition for a name that is about to become popular.

I think the surname route is going to be a good one. Surnames can sound classic as first names (even if they’ve only recently been used as first names) because of their long histories as surnames. And Emrie is a surname name, and I like when sibling names coordinate in style. I think I’d be looking for something that has two syllables, though I’d continue to try out names of other lengths. My favorite would be a surname from the family tree, especially from the mother’s side if the family surname is from the father’s side.

Instead of Milo, I wonder if you’d like Miller. Miller $tubblefield; Emrie and Miller.

Instead of Archer, I wonder if you’d like Hatcher, Thatcher, or Fletcher.

Instead of Asher, I wonder if you’d like Escher or Fisher. (I noticed that Escher starts with an E, but sometimes a suggestion that doesn’t quite work can still lead to other ideas.)

Looking again at Abel, I wanted to find some surname version of it—Abelson, maybe. But that doesn’t eliminate the -bel/-ble issue. I like the general sound of it, though. Anderson? Aronson? Abbott? There are so many good surnames!

Name update! Erica writes:

Our son was born a few weeks ago & I wanted to update you & your wonderful readers on his name! While searching our family tree we came across the surname Abbott (which is also a name you suggested!) & my husband & I both agreed that it was the perfect name for our baby boy. Abbott James is the sweetest little guy and his big sister Emrie couldn’t be more in love. Here they are together, thanks again for all your help!

Cailen writes:

I just discovered your blog a couple of days ago and have been reading it non-stop since (back into the ‘archives’!)

I should start by saying that I come from a family of unique names-my name is Cailen (pronounced Ky-len), and my three brothers are Tison, Anders, and Eamonn. I loved growing up with a different name and my husband (whose name is Ben) is also into the idea of selecting a unique name for our baby.

Our son is due at the end of June. We really like the sound of scottish/Irish/Gaelic names given that our last name is Irish-but haven’t fallen in love with anything yet. My family heritage is scottish and my maiden name (Campbell) is really the only name that we have selected that has stuck with us throughout the pregnancy. We love that it has meaning and that it is somewhat unique. My husband is pretty much set on it, but I have a couple if reservations. It seems like everyone named Campbell is a girl, and I don’t want people to see our son’s name in writing (Campbell McCormick) and think that he’s a girl. We were thinking about pairing it with a more masculine middle name to counteract this a little bit, but I’m worried that middle names aren’t necessarily used enough to make a difference (middle names so far are James-from my side of the family or Marshall-from his side of the family).

Just to give you an idea, we had the name Ensly picked out for a girl. . . Other names that we have considered but do not want to use for our baby include: Jamison, Maddox, Calan, Cullen. I like the names Beckett and Bennett, but my husband does not.

We are really looking for a meaningful name (which could just mean it represents our distant heritages) that is unique but not so odd that it sounds made up.

We appreciate any help you can provide!!

I love it so much when a maiden name works as a first name, and yours is great for that. Let’s start by seeing how the name has being used in the U.S. over the last ten years of Social Security Administration data:

2002: 197 girls, 143 boys
2003: 260 girls, 164 boys
2004: 318 girls, 164 boys
2005: 389 girls, 186 boys
2006: 435 girls, 177 boys
2007: 392 girls, 148 boys
2008: 387 girls, 165 boys
2009: 396 girls, 147 boys
2010: 359 girls, 186 boys
2011: 237 girls, 147 boys

It looks like it’s holding relatively steady: more girls than boys, but boys are not giving it up—and girls might be. It’s hard to say what it’s going to do next: is it falling for girls, but staying steady for boys? or is it in a brief dip for girls, but basically staying steady? I’ll look forward to seeing the 2012 data when it comes out in May.

There are two things that make the name Campbell seem more girl-name to me: the -bell ending, in an age of Isabelle; and the potential nickname Cammie. But on the other hand, Cam is a common nickname for boys, and surname names often come across as more boyish. Still, the way the name has been consistently used more often for girls would concern me if it were my own son: any unisex name will come with the occasional mistake/confusion—and the more it tips toward one sex, the more mistakes/confusion for the other sex. I think I would prefer to save it for a possible future daughter (I love the mother/daughter link), or use it as a middle name.

If you do use it for a boy, I definitely like your plan of using a clearly boyish middle name. The average person wouldn’t know the middle name, but doctors’ offices and schools are the places it’s most important to me that people keep straight if my child is a boy or a girl. Campbell Marshall seems like a lot of L, but Campbell James is great.

My primary concern with the name is that Campbell McCormick is such a brand-heavy name: I immediately thought soup/spices. It sounds like a successful business conglomeration. Neither name on its own gives me that instant association, but together the effect was startling to me when I saw it in the email. Even for a girl, I think I would use Campbell only as a middle name. On the other hand, if you do use it as a first name, “It was my / my wife’s / my mother’s maiden name” seems like it would cover just about any startled reactions.

Name update! Cailen writes:

Our beautiful baby boy was born on June 22nd! We decided to go with Campbell James McCormick. It really fits him perfectly and my husband and I are so happy with the final decision (we debated the middle name for about a day in the hospital and ended up going with our original favorite!) We have had very good feed back from ppl we meet and family members/friends love his name! Thank you for all of the help!

C. writes:

Hello! I am due at the beginning if July and having a little girl. Our last name is Charles and our son’s name is Cooper Harrison Charles. Honoring a Jewish naming tradition, Harrison is meant to honor his great grandfather, Herbert. We used the “H” to honor a living relative. We are planning for baby girl to be Carrington “S middle name” Charles. The S middle name is after my mom, Shari and her namesake, Sarah. We are having a really hard time finding an S name that flows. HELP!

I said the first and last names out loud a few times, and the rhythm that appeals to me most is a 3-syllable middle name:

Carrington Samantha Charles
Carrington Savannah Charles
Carrington Selina Charles
Carrington Serena Charles
Carrington Sienna Charles
Carrington Silvia Charles
Carrington Sofia Charles

I also like Carrington Simone Charles.

If I were choosing, I would probably choose Carrington Sofia. I like the relative shortness of Sofia compared to other 3-syllable names, and I like the emphasis on the second syllable, and I just like the sound of it overall. I also like the mix of styles: Sofia is regal-sounding like Carrington, but also much more feminine and common. And if Carrington is ever shortened to Carrie or Cara, I think Carrie/Cara Sofia is fun to say.

But preferred name rhythms are so subjective. What does everyone else like for flow here?

Name update! C. writes:

Thank you so much for the advice given by you and your readers!  I hadn’t initially thought a 3-syllable name would work because of the length but after reading all of the suggestions I realized it was the way to go!  Sweet Carrington Savannah was born just two weeks ago and we just love the name.  It is a long name but hopefully by the time she’s in school kids won’t be bubbling scantrons anymore!

Olivia writes:

I am due on April 11 (in 4 days!) with our first baby, a girl.

We have narrowed it down to 4 names but I’d love to know which you and your
readers prefer.

I’m also open to other names if you feel like there is something out there
that would suit better.

The middle name will be Amira and I know it’s tricky to decide on the middle
name first but it was the name of my beloved Grandmother and we both love it
because it’s unusual and pretty. Also, the baby will have my husbands last
name so this way she gets a name from my side of the family as well.

Our names are:

Francesca Amira Dawson (nn Frankie initials FAD)

Margaret Amira Dawson (nn Maisie or Mae initials MAD)

Louisa Amira Dawson (nn Loulou initials LAD)

Eliza Amira Dawson (initials EAD)

The initial thing is also tricky as the _AD creates a lot of words and I
know you aren’t crazy about initials that spell words. My thought is that
mostly she would just be using her first and last name and that if she ever
had anything monogrammed the last initial would be put in the middle so it
won’t spell anything for example FAD becomes FDA.

I’d love to know what you think of these names and if there are any others
that might work with our middle and last names.

I like all four! Let’s have a poll!

[yop_poll id=”3″]

Name update! Olivia writes:

Thanks for posting my letter. Your readers gave tons of great feedback on
all 4 names.

In the end we went to the hospital having eliminated Eliza and Margaret
because even though we liked Margaret (and so did your readers!), we
couldn’t get on board with the initials MAD and we didn’t feel the same love
for Eliza that we once did.

Our little girl was born late in the evening on April 18 and we were
waffling between Francesca and Louisa. By the next day it was clear that our
little girl is a warrior so we ended up going with Louisa Amira Dawson which
suits her perfectly!

Thanks for all your help.

V. writes:

Thank you for your amazing blog; I love hearing about everyone’s adventures in naming. My husband and I will be having a girl in July and are, like many others, struggling to find a first name we both like. We do have a bunch of options for the middle name so right now we are concentrating on the first. The baby’s last name will be C00ke (pronounced like someone who works in a kitchen). I come from a family where first names are fairly unique, but not made up. My last name is uncommon. He comes from a family with pronounceable biblical/traditional names.

We are interested in using a family name as a middle name. Family names for a middle include: Kelly, Adrienne, Anna, Ella, Evelyn, and Daphne. My husband likes Kelly or Anna and has crossed off Adrienne and Ella from that list. We also tend to like names without nicknames, but not a deal-breaker.

My top first name choice is a last name in my family: Meara (pronounced Mira). I can consider this as a middle but really love it as a first. My husband likes Mira but thinks everyone including the child will be confused about the spelling and pronunciation of Meara. I love it because it is common enough that when she says it people will understand it, yet it is semi-unique. How would you pronounce Meara as you see it? Would you be confused? Is it deal breaker confusion? My husband’s/the baby’s last name is SO common I’d like something a little more uncommon for the first name.

Other non-family names we are considering:
Fiona – Our joint second choice for a name. We like names from the British Isles.
Hannah – One of his top name choices. I originally took this out because of someone I knew, but put it back in because he likes it so much. It’s growing on me but prefer it as a middle if we use it.
Lydia
Cecilia
Dahlia/Dalia – I like it but keep thinking of a “baby doll”
Audra
Aubrey
Felicity
Hailey – another of my husband’s choices
Layla/Leyla
Leona
Zoe/Zoey

We plan to have a second child. For boys my husband liked: Dylan, Conrad, and Orion; I liked Harper, Nolan, Harrison, and Wade (as a middle). I generally like last names as first names for boys.

Any assistance would be helpful, even if just a quick poll on the pronunciation of Meara or opinions on the name as my family spells it. Thank you so much!

When I file incoming name questions, I leave myself a little note about the issues in the post. With this one, my note ended up misleading me: I wrote: “want to use Meara; husband likes Mira, thinks Meara too confusing (pronunciation poll).” So when I chose it this morning, I was already composing my answer—something like “Yes, Meara isn’t too difficult but probably Mira would be easier all around and also more traditional/standard, but then again I think people would pick up Meara pretty quickly so no big deal either way” and etc.

But then as I was cutting and pasting the question, I saw it’s a family surname. Well, goodness. There are few things I like better than a family surname that can be used as a child’s first name, so that was exciting. But also, for me that completely ends the discussion: the spelling should be Meara. Spelling it Mira might be slightly easier in some ways, but it saps it of so much family meaning, it almost feels like it would be better to find another name. In fact, if it were me, and my husband wouldn’t use the spelling Meara, I think I WOULD decide it would be better to scrap the whole idea. Spelled Mira, it’s what people refer to as “a nod”—a little reference to your family surname, but not really using it.

Anyone who raises eyebrows or has trouble spelling/pronouncing it can be told, “Oh, yes, it’s a family name!” or “It’s my grandmother’s maiden name” (or whatever it is)—which ought to change them from “Why not spell it Mira?” to “OH HOW COOL I LOVE IT!!” in about 2 seconds flat.

I don’t think a Meara would be any more confused by her name than a Sophia or a Zach or an Elle or a John would be. Name spellings are often odd, and most children learn the spelling by memorization before they’re even thinking about phonetics.

I think the first time I saw the spelling Meara I might pause, because I’d be wondering if it was maybe a foreign spelling/pronunciation I was about to botch (as with Ciara, which can be KEER-rah or kee-AR-rah), and because it’s hard to tell how the sounds should be divided (does the E go with the M or with the A?). But as soon as I knew it was MEER-rah, I don’t think I’d have trouble anymore. The middle part is “ear,” which when we see it alone we pronounce “eer,” so that helps: as soon as I know the pronunciation, my eye sorts the name into the right chunks.

And now we’re getting a nice percentage of “first impression = like Mira” comments on the pre-question-posting survey, so that confirms what I was hoping. (I didn’t want to get blinded by my enthusiasm for family names!) We can keep an eye on that post as the comments continue to come in, to make sure it’s a percentage that’s okay with you. It shows you would be taking on some spelling/pronunciation issues with the name, but to me they don’t look severe—and the spelling Mira would also come with issues, such as people pronouncing it Myra or mistaking it for Mia.

I think Meara is the perfect name for your preferences. I suggest letting your husband have more sway with the middle name, to make things feel nicely balanced. (Though I’d also be keeping in mind that all the children would automatically have his surname in their names, so a name from your side of the family would already be addressing the issue of balance.)

Name update! V. writes:

I’m writing to thank everyone for your help in naming our little girl. We continued to consider Meara along with many of the other first and middle name choices in my original letter. We debated the name up until the very moment we were being discharged from the hospital and needed to finalize the birth certificate information. We settled on Meara Kelly C00ke and already think it fits her perfectly. Thanks again and happy naming!