Erica writes:
I’m due with my second child, a boy, in just under three months and I’m starting to feel a little frantic about finding the right name for him. I would absolutely love your help. My name is Erica, my husband is Craig, and our last name is $tubblefield. Our three year old daughter’s name is Emrie Kent. We decided on Emrie because we both really liked Emery but felt like that middle syllable made it a little choppy and her middle name, Kent, was my dad’s name. We decided on her name early on in my pregnancy and never looked back. Boys names are so much more difficult for us! As far as style, we’re kind of all over the place and we don’t really love any of the names on our list. If this baby were a girl, her name would most likely have been Holland which is my husband’s great-grandmother’s surname. Other girl names I love are Ivy, Story, Jules and Elodie. We’d like for this baby’s middle name to be James after my husband’s grandfather. We are looking for something somewhat uncommon but not trendy. For example, I really like Asher, Archer, Milo, Bennet etc. but they are much too trendy and I’d really prefer to go with something more classic yet unique. Also, my husband doesn’t like any of those names :). We also really like surname names. We would like to avoid using another E because we’d like to have at least one more child and don’t want to get stuck with the all-E thing later on. I would also like to avoid B names as I don’t want his initials to be BS (does that even matter? Am I being weird about this?). And I’d like to avoid C’s as well because my daughter and I are both E’s and if my husband and our son were both C’s, well, that’s just a little too cutesy for me. So, no E, B, or C names.
Names that we’ve tossed around but haven’t fallen in love with:
Abel – we both like this name but my husband thinks that the double ‘ble’ sound of Abel $tubble (field) sounds weird & I kinda think he’s right.
Merrit – we both sort of like but don’t love. And I worry that people would call him Mary.
Noel – this is a family name that I like but, again, we’re not sold on. Also, Noel James doesn’t really work together.
And that’s pretty much our list at this point. Pathetic, right?!
Another problem we have is that a lot of names I like end with the letter S which doesn’t work with our last name. For example, Hayes, Brooks, West, etc. When said together they end up sounding like Hey $tubblefield, Brooke $tubblefield, Wes $tubblefield.
As you can see, we need your help! I know there’s an amazing name out there for this little guy and I’d love for you and your readers to help us figure out what it is!
And I promise to send an adorable photo of him with a name update once he’s here :). Thanks so much!
I too prefer to avoid initials such as BS. I don’t think it’s a disaster to use them, but when I put it to the “Would _I_ want this name?” test, it fails: no, I don’t want those initials. So I tend to avoid them when possible, though I can imagine situations where a name would be worth it.
I agree that the repeating -bel/-ble sound of Abel $tubblefield is less than ideal. Would you like Abram instead?
Noel James works for me, so I’d leave that one on the list.
It takes away the family-name connection, but Nolan is another option. (I also like Joel, but not with James.)
Are there any family surnames that would work as a first name, in addition to Holland?
I’m not sure if anyone would use the nickname Mary/Merry for the name Merritt. I’m hoping someone who knows a Merritt can tell us if it’s happened. It’s not a nickname that would have occurred to me, I don’t think; it seems kind of like using the nickname Callie for a man named Calvin, or Annie for a man named Andrew, or Ellie for a man named Elliot: conceivable, but it seems like most people naturally avoid it.
It’s difficult to find a name that is both classic and uncommon. It generally means looking for names that are not currently in style—which is another way of saying the names are not currently very well-liked. You could for example use Archibald instead of Archer to avoid trendiness, but that would be a strong stream to swim against.
Speaking of swimming upstream, another issue here is that it looks to me as if your tastes are very compatible with current fashions. I think it can help to avoid the word “trendy,” since I don’t think anyone would want to think of their naming style that way—and yet the upshot is a nice thing: you like names that are in style, which is lucky for both you and your children. Imagine only liking names that everyone else considered shockingly ugly and unusable.
Where was I? Oh, yes: so I think the goal here is to find a name that most people don’t even consider, but then when they hear it on someone else’s baby they’re surprised to find they like it. The problem with this goal is that that would make a good definition for a name that is about to become popular.
I think the surname route is going to be a good one. Surnames can sound classic as first names (even if they’ve only recently been used as first names) because of their long histories as surnames. And Emrie is a surname name, and I like when sibling names coordinate in style. I think I’d be looking for something that has two syllables, though I’d continue to try out names of other lengths. My favorite would be a surname from the family tree, especially from the mother’s side if the family surname is from the father’s side.
Instead of Milo, I wonder if you’d like Miller. Miller $tubblefield; Emrie and Miller.
Instead of Archer, I wonder if you’d like Hatcher, Thatcher, or Fletcher.
Instead of Asher, I wonder if you’d like Escher or Fisher. (I noticed that Escher starts with an E, but sometimes a suggestion that doesn’t quite work can still lead to other ideas.)
Looking again at Abel, I wanted to find some surname version of it—Abelson, maybe. But that doesn’t eliminate the -bel/-ble issue. I like the general sound of it, though. Anderson? Aronson? Abbott? There are so many good surnames!
Name update! Erica writes:
Our son was born a few weeks ago & I wanted to update you & your wonderful readers on his name! While searching our family tree we came across the surname Abbott (which is also a name you suggested!) & my husband & I both agreed that it was the perfect name for our baby boy. Abbott James is the sweetest little guy and his big sister Emrie couldn’t be more in love. Here they are together, thanks again for all your help!
I zeroed in on Swistle’s suggestions of Nolan. Nolan James *sigh* How lovely. I think it is close enough to Noel that the honor is still there, and he could have the nickname Noel to further the connection. I actually know a little boy Fletcher and when it was first suggested I thought “Oh…that’s brave. Why am I picturing a little butcher?” But it SO worked. Fletcher is just a bundle of mischief and fun and I can’t picture any other name working as well. I like Merrit, and I can’t imagine anyone calling him Mary for the reasons outlined. If you’re not sold on Merrit, how about Barrett? Merrick? Beckett as a subsitute for Bennett? Hamish instead of Hayes? Porter instead of Archer?
I’m just throwing stuff out there at this point to see what sticks :) I really hope you find a name you both love! Best of luck.
I agree, Nolan James $tubblefield is a fantastic name!
Your post compelled me to write this response, however it is not only directed at you, but at many of the mothers/mothers-to-be who post on this blog. I am an avid reader, and often see Moms lamenting that the names they like are “too popular” or that they are looking for a name that is not in the top 10, 100 or 1000 because they fear too many kids in their childs class will have the same name. Please do not pass up on a name because you think it too trendy or too popular. I am a Sarah, and here is my story:
My name is Sarah and I was born in the 80s. My brother is Matthew. My husband is also Matthew. My brother Matthew is married to a nice girl named Sarah. Her brother (and my brother’s best friend) is named, you guessed it, Matthew. Their sister Lisa is dating a Matthew. They all go by Matt. My husband Matt has two best friends named Matt. In a world of Matt and Sarahs born in the 80s I have NEVER found myself “lost in a crowd” or feeling ordinary. We all go by last names, fun nicknames or whatever. Its fun, we laugh at it. We are never confused about who we are talking to or about. So please, mothers out there, do not pass up a name you love because you think it is too popular. Your kids are likely not going to mind being Mason K. or Olivia L. just like I never minded being Sarah B.
You’re absolutely right–
My husband’s parents wanted to name him Jason, but it was too popular for their liking. They picked Justin instead (which wasn’t nearly as popular at the time). He gets called Jason ALL THE TIME, and has to correct people, and has through his entire life because he’s the age where Jason was really popular. His parents should have probably stuck to what they truly wanted. My name (Laura) has never been really popular, but there was another Laura in my elementary school growing up. I never felt ordinary or ‘lost in a crowd’ being known as Laura S, in fact, we became best friends because we had something so fundamental in common.
Weighing in on the Merritt issue here–
I tutor a little boy named Merritt (he just turned six) for about three hours a day. I also tutor his older siblings, so I spend A LOT of time around the entire family as well as their kid friends. In the entire two years I’ve been around the family, no one has ever called him (or attempted to call him) Mary/ Merry. His mom will occasionally call him “Mare” if she’s being affectionate, but other than that, he goes by the full Merritt.
I hope that helps! Best of luck deciding!
Just wondering, do you know his siblings’ names? I am quite drawn to Merritt but I find myself wondering what I could pair it with (planning for the future!). If it’s okay with you, I’d love you to share :) Thanks!
Hi, Jemima!
He is one of five kids, and they all have unusual names.
The oldest is Cailley (nickname for Ceilidh) (girl)
Mem (short for Memorable, a family name) (boy)
Creagh (also a girl)
Merritt
Camden (girl, named after the mom’s side of the familiy)
Hope that helps!
I agree, I really like Holland for a boy!
I will also suggest Arrow. Emrie and Arrow!
I agree, I don’t see people calling a boy named Merritt Mary/Merry. Garret is another sound alike alternative if you want one. I actually know a couple of Garrets (one grown, one young) and nobody has every shortened it to Gary.
I thought of Fletcher before Swistle suggested it, I think it’s a great alternative to some of your other names. Nolan is also very good, though I agree that Noel James is quite nice.
Instead of Abel, what about Abram? Without the repeated “bel” of Abel Stubblefield, I think it works quite well. Abe is another option, though I think the 2 syllable Abram flows better. You could also do Westley or Wesley instead of West. Better flow, but would still allow West as a nickname if you wanted.
Some other ideas-Foster, Axel, Ari, Murphy or August/Augustin/Augustine? I realize the August names are more popular, but they aren’t overly common and the nickname Auggie is even less common. Auggie reminds me of Archer/Archie.
Threw some names into Nymbler, and I wanted to share my favorites for you:
Leon — why isn’t this name used more? Classic for sure, underused…and if you switch the letters around you get Noel! Lol. Leon James $tubblefield.
Finn James
Rudy James
Ivan James
Declan James
Myles James or Miles James
Why can’t you use Holland if it’s a boy? Seems like a perfectly good unisex, surname-y name to me!
I agree! Or hollan!
There are so many great surname names! Many of them are classic and familiar (because they have been around for generations) but as first names, they sound fresh and it’s possible to avoid trendy or popular names without having to pick one that is unheard of. Here are some suggestions you might like:
Allen (similar to Abel?)
Nelson (maybe instead of Noel?)
Barnaby
Wade
Foyle
Irwin
Heath (Heathcliff)
Harrow
Don’t know any Merritts, but I know a Merrick and a Marek. Marek’s family sometimes calls him Mare the Bear, or sometimes just Bear, which fits him to a T. Merrick is a quieter, shy boy who sometimes gets a little bit of teasing from this mean pair of girls in his class, but even they haven’t stumbled across “Mary.”
I like Hudson Stubblefield, surname, more uncommon. Also like Dawson!
Ah, funny, Hudson is SO common where I am! Maybe because I’m not too far from the Hudson River ..but far enough that it’s a nice nod without living next to it.
On your list, I actually really like Archer. From Swistle’s suggestions, I love Fletcher James. GREAT sound!
Some of the suggestions in the comments are right on. August nn Auggie (I like the nn even better than the full name), Finn (I think Finnegan stands up a bit better with your last name. But as a nn Finn is awesome and pairs nicely with Emerie), Leon is cute and unexpected. I love Nelson (weird because this is my last name, so I never think of it as a first, but I LOVE it with you middle and last names… Nelson James Stubblefield!). Good luck. Can’t wait to see what you choose.
The only name that came to mind that fits is Ansel.
My son’s name is Merrit. It is a family name for us (he is Merrit Henry III) and I admit I worried a bit about people thinking it was a girly name but we have not run into that at all. He is called MerBear sometimes (mostly by me), and his grandfather sometimes calls him Rit/Rhett, but no nicknames other than that so far. We get lots of compliments on his name from total strangers! And I think Merrit goes very well with your daughter’s name, but I am of course biased :) One name we have thought about for a future boy name that goes well with Merrit is Sullivan–Sullivan Stubblefield might be a bit of a mouthful though! Good luck–can’t wait to hear what you choose!
What about Calvin? I know it has a C initial, but it’s just what you’re looking for – classic first name that’s not terribly popular right now, but it sounds fresh to my ear.
Also, how about Peter, Phillip, Martin, Leo?
Echoing the suggestion of Holland for a boy, unless you are planning to have more children and are saving it. I know a little boy Holland and it’s adorable.
FWIW i know a teenage boy named Holland. His siblings have more typical names (twin brother Corey, sister Lauren) but I find that in frequent use the name Holland on a boy actually has worked just fine.
If you like Abel, I suggest Eamon (pronounced Aiman). Or Seth seems to stylistically match Abel. I personally love Otto. I think it fits in with Oscar, Oliver, etc. but isn’t nearly as popular for whatever reason.
I like Orrin James or Gilbert James.
What about Lincoln? Or Ashton?
I also like Fletcher, Dawson, Hudson, Calvin, and Holland for a boy.
Other random surname suggestions:
Franklin. Wilson. Jefferson. Harrison. Pierce. Lincoln. Ford. Clinton. Carter. (those are Cs though, oops!) Morris. Dayton. Lawson. Abrell (var. Abrahall). Hawthorne.
Ha, I didn’t mean to make this presidential/historical at first, but wow so many presidents’ surnames names work!
And just a few others that remind me of Emrie for inexplicable reasons:
Andre. Daven. Lyell/Lyle. Linus. Spencer. Heath.
Also, I think Story could be a really awesome boys’ name. Or some other dashing noun names … Ridge. Tanner. Forrest.
Graden?
Graden James $tubblefield.
Or you could always spell it Grayden/Graydon.
What about the name Tasman? It’s a fantastic surname name!
I have only ever heard it on a young boy once and immediately loved it.
Tasman James $tubblefield nn Taz or TJ. Awesome!
Emrie and Tasman sound great together too.
All the best!
I know two Marit/Marritts in the toddler set and one who is 35, all female and zero male Merritts. BC of this, I’ve never thought of it as a neutral name, but it certainly sounds like a name (and obviously IS a name) that works on both genders. I just wanted to make sure you had thought of that, and I don’t see any other commenters mentioning it. (My three Marits have roots the midwest and great plains)
Emrie is a lovely name, also one I had not heard of, so although I think I would have assumed girl, with a masculine middle name I would have been unsure.
I happen to love giving middle names that aren’t traditional and I also love neutral names, but just something to consider!
how about maguire nn mac?
that is my son’s name, it rocks and SO MANY of your other names were/are on my lists!!!
i have a daughter storey, my first “baby” was emery and hayes is my maiden name which was always my NUMBER ONE until we made the decision to hypenate our little one’s lasts…
When I saw your list the names that immediately came to mind were Arlo and Nico.
How about Weston, using West as a nickname? The double ST sound might be a dealbreaker, though… I also suggest: Coulter, Ryder, Grant, River, Garret, and Holden. Good luck!
Emrie and Erica share similar letters and sounds. Maybe it would be nice to do something similar with your boys name, without repeating the C, like Raidon or Raice.
I think a name like Rogan, Reeve, or Renshaw could also be nice – Renshaw James $tubblefield. Or Rafferty James – nn Rafe.
I like Swistle’s suggestion of Fletcher. Emrie and Fletcher. Fletcher James. Fletcher $tubblefield.
Would you like the name Alden? Alden James $tubblefield. Emrie and Alden. John Alden was a Pilgrim on the Mayflower; Alden is Neil Armstrong’s middle name. I like how most of your family would have names loosely associated with stones: Craig, a crag in a stone; Emery, a hard rock used in abrasive powders, and Alden associated with Plymouth Rock.
Along the same lines, what do you think of Stanton, meaning a stone enclosure? Stanton $tubblefield. People are going to either love or hate the alliteration; I’m not sure if there will be middle ground on that.
I had a friend name her boy Arrow. It was initially a bit shocking, but it works really well on the little guy. Since you like Archer, maybe you’ll consider Arrow.
I love Gavin for you. Gavin James $tubblefield.
I also think Adam is a good, solid, unexpected classic. Adam James $tubblefield.
Emrie & Gavin. Emrie & Adam.
Congrats!
since you like Jules for a girl, do you like Julian for a boy? personally i love the alliteration of Julian James, although i know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea. by the same token, i also love Joel James. (the rhythm seems more excellent with Julian, though.) and for very traditional flair, julian used to be spelled “jolyon,” which i’ve seen particularly-into-individuality parents use.
i also second Westley (Westley with the “t” always makes me think of the character in The Princess Bride, who was THE BEST), Marek (love that spelling! although do you think he’d have to keep correcting it from “Mark?”), and Hollan. personally i wouldn’t use Coulter because of the strong political reference (and, like…the reputation for pop politics, poorly-researched and not the smartest) but that is just me, and if someone is really into Ann Coulter, that might be the perfect name for them!
Ooops! I meant to leave this comment as just a regular comment, but accidentally left it as a reply to someone else’s comment above. Still getting used to the new configuration!
“I agree, I really like Holland for a boy!
I will also suggest Arrow. Emrie and Arrow!”
When I read this I immediately thought of my friend’s one year old…….Abe (instead of Abel with the el problem). It is just so cute on him, not to different but you don’t hear of many Abe’s. Abe Stubblefield. Perfect!
Man, someone beat me to Ivan! I saw you like Ivy for a girl, and Ivan is in that recognizable but not too common category.
Abbott is the perfect name. Not only was it his chosen name , it was meant to be. Love Grandpa Mark