K. writes:
My husband and I would really, really appreciate your input on breaking a naming rule. The rule we’ve seen out there a lot is that you are not supposed to pick a first name that ends in the same letter as the last name.
We want to break this rule! We love the name Christopher. Our last name is Riolo (pronounced Ree-oh-low). Can we break the rule? No one talks trash about Christopher Robin’s name, and his similarly breaks the rule with Rs.
We are expecting our third baby boy. Our first two boys are Michael and Timothy. We only like classic, timeless, biblical/saint names for our children. There are other boy names we love, like Gabriel and Samuel, but they just don’t go with our last name.
Please, please advise. Thanks so much.
Here is the thing about naming rules: they’re rarely rules. Sometimes I see naming guidelines or naming suggestions, which may or may not CALL themselves rules. But of course at most they’re general guidelines or suggestions: they don’t necessarily apply to a particular situation.
The reason for the guideline you mention is that a shared sound CAN make two names sound like they run together, and/or can make them tricky to pronounce, and/or can make the shared sound seem to disappear from one of the two names. (This can also happen without a shared sound, as in the famed example “Ben Dover”—so it’s something that should be checked regardless.) For example, my own first and middle names are Kristen Nicole; in theory, this could sound like Krista Nicole. Since they’re my first/middle names instead of my first/last names, it’s no big deal. If they were my first/last names, it might be something my parents could have considered—but if they’d decided it was okay, it would still have been no big deal: I doubt the inconvenience of occasionally being mistaken for a Krista would have been any more of a problem than the inconvenience of occasionally being mistaken for a Kristine, which happens despite no issues with the surname. It’s a bigger problem when the run-together makes the name difficult to say, or causes a boy name to sound like a girl name or vice versa, or results in something like Ben Dover.
Do you think Christopher Riolo runs together or is in any other way difficult to say, to the extent that it rules out the name? Do you think it makes it sound like the name is either Christopha Riolo or Christopher Iolo, to the extent that it rules out the name? Do you think the shared letter makes the name embarrassing or difficult for the child? If not, then you don’t even have to break a rule—you just have to decide it isn’t a guideline that applies to this particular situation.
My 2 cents: it sounds fine.
I say break the rule!
Plus really, I bet he will go by Chris a lot of his life, and Chris Riolo has absolutely no problem at all.
I have broken this rule with naming the first and middle name. In fact, I sort of like the middle name to begin with the last letter of the first name. So, I don’t see why not for first and last.
I love the name Carys Sophie and Phoebe Elizabeth… both breaking the “rule.” To me, if it sounds good, it has flow, etc… go with it!
It doesn’t bother me at all. But my name ends in the same letter my last name begins with too. I say, if you love it, go for it.
It’s not really a RULE. It’s just a common preference. I myself had tried to self impose this and in addition I didn’t want the first name and last name to start with the same letter as I generally don’t like alliteration in names. But my daughters name ended up breaking both of those “rules” and I wouldn’t dream of changing it. It’s totally her name. It was chosen by her mother before she was placed for adoption and we were not tempted in the slightest to change it to meet my arbitrary naming preferences. I just laughed at the irony and let go and saw how her name suited her beautifully.
I think it sounds nice, and I can’t imagine encountering many problems so long as you stress the second R a little. I love all your children’s names really, they compliment each other so well!
And not to be a nerd, but did anyone else picture the scene from Pirates of the Caribbean when Swistle said it was more a guideline than an actual rule? :P
Sorry….that was entirely uncalled for.
I am a Lauren Nicole and it hasn’t caused any problems that I can remember. If I need someone to get my name absolutely correct I say the names with a pause between or I spell them.
I know first and middle names are not the same as first and last, but my vote is still that you use the name you love. That’s a much more important consideration!
I agree it’s a guideline and not a rule. It could be problematic with certain names or specific letters, but Christopher Riolo is fine.
I know a young Christopher who at age 8 still goes by his full name, never Chris. I don’t think you can — or have to — assume that your son would be called mostly Chris if that’s not your choice.
I love the name Christopher and think it sounds fine with your surname and perfect with his older brothers’ names. Also the R at the end of Christopher isn’t pronounced exactly the same as the R that begins Riolo. That’s why Christopher Robin works fine, and Christopher Riolo would too.
Christopher Riolo sounds great – go for it! This is definitely a guideline that depends entirely on the actual names involved.
BTW, Swistle, I’m a Kristin Nichole… our parents must have had the same tastes there. :)
Kristin- Ha ha! The Krist/Chryst trend plus the French names trend: WE HAZ IT.
BTW, I’ve had Taylor Rae for a girl and Taylor Ryan for a a boy on my lists in the past and one of the things I liked about those names was how the r sound helped one name flow to the other. Or at least that how it sounded to me.
Firstly, do not assume he will be called Chris. Both my good friend in his 40s and a nephew in his 20s have NEVER been known as Chris, only their full name.
Secondly, Christopher Riolo is said with a little pause between to clearly end the first name then start the second name. So no run-together there.
Thirdly, it goes nicely with the sibling names. So if you love it, use it.
We broke that ‘rule’ naming our 3rd child. I find I just say her name with a slight pause in the middle. Harriet. Taylor. I was really quite stressed about it before her arrival, but it doesn’t bother me at all now. Hopefully it won’t cause her to have to repeat herself too frequently!
Sometimes people overthink names. Christopher Riolo is perfectly fine and works great with Michael and Timothy. And if he gets called Chris or Kit or Chip it immediately solves the “problem”.
I was also going to point out Christopher Robin. And Christopher Reeve. I think it sounds fine.
I think in that case it is fine. My married name starts with “E” and I am so thankful I’m not 7 years old again when I had to go by “Holly L” because there was another Holly in my class (Holly M) because then I would be Holly E, which I do.not.like. So, that is something to consider, the sounds are quite different in your case Christopher R – and “urrr” with an “Arrr”.
I think Christopher would be a great first name pick for your son. I don’t hear it running into your last name when I say the name together – I agree that the “urr” at the end, sounds different to the “ree” sound in your last name. So although the R is there twice, it doesn’t run together. :)
There is a dude on the Discovery Channel with a survival show whose name is…wait for it…Myke Hawke. Please say that name out loud and then feel perfectly comfortable with your choice of Christopher Riolo, which sounds lovely and not at all odd or…um…dirty.
Christopher Riolo sounds great! It’s handsome and the names don’t blur together for me at all. It also works with the siblings’ names, and you love it – sounds like a winner to me!
I say you should totally use it. I have never in my life heard of this as a “rule” — only ever as a personal preference. I also have never heard of anyone “talking trash” about someone else’s name for having broken this kind of common preference.
I don’t think it’s awful, nor would I truly discourage you from using the name, but my name does not adhere to this guideline, and that’s the only thing I’ve ever disliked about my name. I’m not going to put my full name here, but think along the lines of “Sara Andrews.” It’s just awkward, and as an awkward person who stumbles over words (even her own name!), it would just make my life a little easier if I were, say, “Liz Andrews.” Then again, I’ve always liked alliterative names, but my mom’s name is similar to “Allison Andrews,” and she dislikes THAT, so YMMV.
My husband’s name is very similar to Christopher R–. He finds it kind of slurry, to the extent that he ruled out any -er names when we were naming our kids. But it was more an aesthetic choice than a practical one, as no one has ever actually gotten his name WRONG for that reason. I don’t think it has to be a dealbreaker at all.