Baby Boy Grefay, Brother to Jack and Lila

Jennifer writes:

Just discovered your wonderful site in my frantic search for the perfect name for baby #3 (due September 6, but realistically, any day now!!). This pregnancy has flown by and we’ve been putting off the naming decision until now!
So, our son’s name is Jack and our daughter’s name is Lila. Now we’re having another boy and have not fallen in love with any name. Well, I have fallen in love with one: James. BUT, it’s my husband’s name (although he goes by Jim) and he refuses to name our second son James for fear that later in life our firstborn son will grow resentful that he wasn’t given his Dad’s name. I think this is ridiculous thinking…but is he right? Can only the firstborn son carry the father’s name?
So in lieu of James, I/we like Max, Charlie, Benjamin, Bradford, I also like Graham but I feel it clashes with our surname starts with ‘Gre’ and ends sounding like ‘fay’ (similar to the sound of ‘buffet’.I hope that makes sense)…it sounds very French when  pronounced correctly (which is rarely!).  
If this were a girl, I love the names Georgie (Georgia) and Harper and Maggie…

I hope you can help! Maybe it’s hormones and fatigue but I can’t seem to make a rational decision or even think straight at this point!

Although it’s traditional for the firstborn child to be the namesake, there isn’t anything inherently more worthy or important about the first child; I suspect the only reason is so the honor name is used at the first opportunity. If there’s no reason for the children to believe that this third child would be particularly favored by his parents, I think it’s likely the children won’t much care—or if they do care, the caring could go either way: either “Why didn’t _I_ get dad’s name?” OR “Why didn’t YOU have to get dad’s name?” An honor name is a mixed gift: there aren’t any specific benefits that go along with it (the benefits are more for the one who is honored)—and there are downsides, such as not having a name all of one’s own, and dealing with any confusion that results from sharing.

One of my friends had twin boys, and they gave the father’s name to the secondborn twin, so that each boy would have something: one boy is the firstborn, and the other is the namesake. It seemed like a good idea to me, and a good source of spin for other situations.

In this case, my bigger concern would be that the names Jack and James seem very similar, especially with a father Jim. Jack and Max also seem very similar to me, though a good fit style-wise.

Charlie is my own favorite from your list. Jack and Charlie are highly compatible names, but without being too alike. Benjamin is a very close second, especially if he’ll go by Ben: Jack and Ben is a wonderful pair of brother names.

I also suggest Henry: Jack, Lila, and Henry.

Or Sam: Jack, Lila, and Sam.

I’m finding it a little challenging to find a brother name for a Jack. I think it’s because Jack is a nickname name but also considered a stand-alone choice. So it feels compatible with other nickname names (Max, Sam, Ben, Charlie), but those names are not as often used as given names. So then having, say, a Jack and a Charles, or a Jack and a Benjamin, or a Jack and a Samuel, feels as if one boy has a good nickname and the other doesn’t, or that only the nickname is the same style as Jack.

A name like Leo would be perfectly compatible with Jack—but I’m afraid it’s too close to Lila. Drew might be perfect: it’s short for Andrew but often used as given name. But I’m not sure it works well with the surname. Maybe Cole? It can be a nickname for Nicholas or Colton, but it’s also given on its own. Or Liam—but again, probably too close to Lila.

Other nickname possibilities:

Daniel/Dan
Edward/Ed/Ned/Ted
Camden/Cam
Alexander/Alex
Nicholas/Nick
William/Will

From this list, I think my favorite combination is Jack and Will. (Another post asked if “Jack and Will” would bring “Jack and Jill” to mind. I thought probably it would be a minor issue, and that it would be easy to say “Will and Jack” instead—but it’s the sort of issue I like to mention so that you can think of it beforehand rather than afterward.) I like how all three children would have four-letter names, unless that would make you feel pressured for future children. Jack, Lila, and Will.

15 thoughts on “Baby Boy Grefay, Brother to Jack and Lila

  1. Anonymous

    (Sorry if this double-posts – not sure if the first attempt worked.)

    In the same vein of Leo, might I suggest Theo? It’s got the same nickname-yet-stand-alone qualities as Jack but doesn’t sound at all like either Jack or Lila. I love it with the surname, too. Jack, Lila and Theo!

    Reply
  2. Anonymous

    I really like both Sam and Charlie. Other options that I think sound good are Owen, Ian, Noah, and Nate. Good luck!

    Reply
  3. Patricia

    I looked at London Telegraph birth announcements (I wish there were an American counterpart) for brother names with Jack. These combinations occurred repeatedly:
    Jack and Charlie / Charles
    Jack and Will / William
    Jack and Henry
    Jack and Freddie / Frederic
    Jack and Max (which seem almost rhyming)
    Jack and Oliver

    Also a few brother sets called:
    Jack and Louis
    Jack and Hugo
    Jack and George

    And
    Jack and Theo
    Jack and Jamie (similar to Jack and James)
    Jack and Nicholas (Jack and Nick?)
    Jack and Sam

    And triplets called Lola, Jack and Felix (Lola and Jack, very similar to Jack and Lila)

    Also, I wonder if you’d like Owen: Jack, Lila and Owen — all 4 letter names with no nn.

    Reply
  4. Anonymous

    Charlie would be my favorite, with Sam a close second. The suggestions of Liam & Henry is also very good. I also agree that Jack & Max or James are a little too similar for brothers. Since it would be a namesake name, I think the namesake (your husband) should get final say on the matter. If he doesn’t want this child to share his name, regardless of his reason, I think James should be off the list.
    Some other suggestions: Ross, Rhys, Peter/Pete, Mark, Owen, Ethan & Evan.

    Reply
  5. Madelyn

    From your list I like Bradford and Benjamin, but I do not think Bradford goes well with your last name. I also think James should be off the list, since it is too close to Jim and Jack; and, plus, your husband doesn’t like the idea. Benjamin is a fine name and sounds great with Jack and Lila- Jack, Lila, and Benjamin, or Jack, Lila, and Ben

    Here are some other suggestions:

    Finn: Jack, Lila, and Finn
    Gavin: Jack, Lila, and Gavin
    Ike: Jack, Lila, and Ike
    Miles: Jack, Lila, and Miles
    Mitchell: Jack, Lila, and Mitchell (Mitch)
    Owen: Jack, Lila, and Owen
    Reid: Jack, Lila, and Reid
    Russell: Jack, Lila, and Russell (Russ, Rusty)
    Thomas: Jack, Lila, and Thomas (Tom)
    Toby: Jack, Lila, and Toby

    Reply
  6. Caroline

    I know siblings Jack and Max (who are Jack and Maxwell), and also Jack and Charlie (who are John and Charles) so either of those sound nice to my ear!

    Reply
  7. Rita

    I agree that you should go for a nicknamey name that works fine on its own – much like Jack and Lila.

    Jack, Lila and Harry
    Jack, Lila and Theo
    Jack, Lila and Mack
    Jack, Lila and Rory
    Jack, Lila and Toby
    Jack, Lila and Beau
    Jack, Lila and Kit
    Jack, Lila and Cory
    Jack, Lila and Drew
    Jack, Lila and Harley
    Jack, Lila and Jude
    Jack, Lila and Robin
    Jack, Lila and Eben
    Jack, Lila and Jem
    Jack, Lila and Alec
    Jack, Lila and Remy
    Jack, Lila and Bastian
    Jack, Lila and Grey
    Jack, Lila and Rafe
    Jack, Lila and Xander
    Jack, Lila and Wolf

    Reply
  8. Anonymous

    You know what name I love with your last name, as a nick-namey sounding stand alone, and as a good sibling match? Wynne. I love it. Or you could spell it Win. Jack, Lila and Wynne!

    Reply
  9. nieke

    How about Bram? Similar sound to Graham (I think, if you are American) without the alliteration.

    Jack, Lila and Bram

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    My aunt had 4 boys Brian, Jack, James and will (William). There has never been any confusion and my grandpa goes by Jim but is a James and his brother was a Jack. I adore them as a sibling set!

    Reply

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