B. writes:

I never thought I’d need baby name advice, but here I am. I have a 4 year old son, and a less than one year old daughter and I am unexpectedly pregnant with baby #3 (definitely the last) due in April 2012. Our last name rhymes with Garnet (emphasis on first syllable). My son is named Brendan and my daughter is Bridget. We didn’t necessarily plan on two names with Br- but we didn’t see it as problematic either. They were names we both loved and had family connections.

Middle name: Probably going to be Maria in honor of my mother-in-law. Less concerned with it working with middle as I am with last.

Names we’ve considered:

Brynn (I like, husband doesn’t, and is it too cute to have three names have Br- starts?)
Fiona (husband loves, not sure I do. Shrek association?)
Bevin (I like, husband doesn’t)
Ellen (I don’t love, maybe variations? Kind of like Ellie as a NN)
Nora (probably out because of negative family association)
Maeve (probably out because of negative family association)

Names that are out (due to use by family): Claire, Kayleigh, most anything ending in -een (Maureen, Eileen, Kathleen, etc.), Meaghan, Catherine. I generally don’t love the idea of a hugely popular / trendy girl name (there goes Ava, Olivia, Emma, etc.) Husband likes Isabella. Feels far too popular/trendy for me. As you can see, we (generally) like Irish sounding names, but my husband balks at the more traditional names with spellings that don’t “match” the pronunciation (see, e.g, Aisling, Aoife, Niamh) — though I’ve advocated a phonetic variation like Neve.

I could really use some fresh suggestions and a new perspective.

Thanks!

 
I think I might not do a third Br- name in a row (I wouldn’t rule it out, either, but it’s a very distinctive theme so I’d want to be sure it was what I wanted), but I think I WOULD be hoping to find a B name I liked: a B name would keep the third child from standing out, but would also keep the theme from seeming too forced/cute. Some possibilities:

Brendan, Bridget, and Beatrix
Brendan, Bridget, and Bethany
Brendan, Bridget, and Bianca (similar to Fiona, but no ogre)

The trouble is, a LOT of good girl B names are Br. If you do go that route, I’d look for ones that have a distinctively different sound (i.e., not Brenna because it’s so close to the Bren of Brendan; not Brecken because it shares not only the Br but also the short-E and the N-ending of Brendan). I’ve put Brinley on the list because the -ley adds such a different sound—but the short-I and the N might make it too close to the Bren of Brendan and the Brih of Bridget. (Spelling it Brynley might remove some of the visual similarity, and also give you the Brynn you liked.)

Brendan, Bridget, and Braelyn
Brendan, Bridget, and Bria
Brendan, Bridget, and Briar
Brendan, Bridget, and Briarley
Brendan, Bridget, and Brielle
Brendan, Bridget, and Briley
Brendan, Bridget, and Brinley
Brendan, Bridget, and Briony
Brendan, Bridget, and Britton (Britten? Brittyn?)
Brendan, Bridget, and Bronwyn
Brendan, Bridget, and Brooklyn

If I weren’t going to use B/Br, I might look for a name with a strong B/Br sound in the middle (Gabrielle, for example), or I might find some other tie-in: Margaret, for example, to echo the ending sound of Bridget, or a strong D sound to tie it to the D sound in each of the other names. Some of these might not work with the surname, depending how close it is to Garnet.

Brendan, Bridget, and Aubrey
Brendan, Bridget, and Cambria
Brendan, Bridget, and Danica
Brendan, Bridget, and Gabrielle
Brendan, Bridget, and Greta
Brendan, Bridget, and Gretchen
Brendan, Bridget, and Gwendolyn (too rhymey with Brendan?)
Brendan, Bridget, and Juliette
Brendan, Bridget, and Keelin
Brendan, Bridget, and Kendall
Brendan, Bridget, and Madigan
Brendan, Bridget, and Margaret
Brendan, Bridget, and Meredith
Brendan, Bridget, and Sabrina
Brendan, Bridget, and Violet

Since you like both Ellen and Nora, Eleanor would be a nice way to get the sounds of both while diluting the negative family association. I’m also reminded of Lauren.

Ellen and Bevin and Brynn and Maeve make me think of Evelyn.

Fiona makes me think of Bianca, and also of Ione, and also of Catriona (I’m thinking of the four-syllable cat-tree-OH-nah pronunciation, rather than the Celtic three-syllable cat-TREE-nah pronunciation).

Oh, or Rowan! It’s similar to Fiona, Ellen, and Bevin.

Name update! B. writes:

Maeve Teresa was born on 4/18.

We decided it was silly to choose a name we didn’t love just to keep the B “thing” going (Bonnie, though, was a strong contender for a while). Though I loved a few of Swistle’s suggestions for the ‘br’ sound elsewhere, husband wasn’t on board with any. One of the commenters generated a nice list of strong Irish girl names, but I had difficulty selling husband on most of them (Deirdre, Aislinn, Caitlin each was a contender at one point, as was Maura). We went into delivery pretty set on another name (Fiona), but neither of us thrilled with the choice. Then she was born, and she just looked like a Maeve, and we haven’t had one moment of naming regret since. Thanks for everyone’s suggestions and help!

Meredith writes:

I enlisted your help a couple years ago in coming up with a name for our second boy. We are now pregnant again, and with a GIRL!!! But, we are once again having a hard time agreeing on a name. The middle name will be named after my husband’s grandmother, Jo. The name we like is Collyn Jo, but I’m thinking that after having 2 boys, I want a pretty, girly, feminine name and Collyn has a “boyish” ring to it. Our boys names are Reid Michael and Jace Ryan. Another name I like is Charlotte. Our last name is Northcutt, so something that flows well with that. Even though the boys both have one syllable names, I think our girl will need to have a 2 or 3 syllable name in order to go with Jo. Thoughts?

Thanks so much! I love how you put so much thought into the names!!!!

 
If you want to tweak Collyn to make it a little more feminine (though changing the i to a y already does a good job of making it clear to the eye if not to the ear), I suggest Calyn (rhymes with Alan), nickname Callie if you want it (an improvement on Collie). Calyn Jo Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Calyn.

Another option, even more feminine, is Calla. Calla Jo Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Calla.

Jo would also make a wonderful first name. Jo ______ Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Jo.

Was Jo short for Josephine? That would be lovely, too: Josephine Northcutt is a wonderful name.

Collyn reminds me of Marin. Marin Jo Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Marin.

Just sitting here mulling the brother names, I suddenly thought of Piper. Piper Jo Northcutt. Reid, Jace, and Piper.

I think Kiley would work wonderfully, too. Kiley Jo Northcutt; Reid, Jace, and Kiley.

I agree that the middle name Jo works best with a longer-than-1-syllable first name. If you would otherwise have liked the coordination of three 1-syllable names, a similar idea would be to give all three children 4-letter names. Some possibilities:

Ayla
Eden
Ella
Iris
Isla
Kaya
Kira
Lila
Lily
Maya
Mila
Ruby

Or you could choose a longer name to go with the middle name, but one that has a 1-syllable nickname. Laney Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Lane. Rosalie Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Rose. Caitlyn Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Cait. Teagan Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Teag. Skylar Jo Northcutt—but Reid, Jace, and Sky.

Or if Jo was short for another name, you could use that other name as the middle name instead, and then be free to choose a 1-syllable first name.

Name update! Meredith writes:

I really enjoyed all the thoughts, opinions, and suggestions I received from you and your blog readers on the naming of our baby girl! We’ve decided to go with Brynn Kathryn. Reid, Jace and Brynn. :)

Thanks again!!!

Elena writes:

My name is Elena and my husband Oliver and I are expecting our second baby – a girl – who is due on the 5th of January. We have a son named Max Oliver, and we absolutely adore his name. Fortunately we do not have the problem of being unable to agree on any names. We have three girls names that we would be happy to use in a heartbeat, but they have some issues that may make them unsuable. Middle name will be either Elena or May after me (family tradition).

Our top name is Alaia, uh-LIE-uh. There is the obvious problem of “a liar”. Infact when I told my mum that we loved Alaia her response was “Alaia? Like a liar? That could cause some problems.” Although the next day she told me that she actually really liked it, after she thought more about it. It sounds sooooo pretty when you don’t think of “a liar”. But I would hate to give my daughter a name that gives her grief. Another problem is that Elena and Alaia are kinda similar sounding, though I do go by Elle 80% of the time. So what do you think? Is Alaia usable? If we used Alaia she would be Alaia May.

Our second name is Ruby. Max and Ruby. Like the childrens TV show. Does that make Ruby unusable for us? We LOVE it, and we love how Max and Ruby sound together, but does it seem tacky? Like we were trying to copy the TV show? She would be Ruby Elena. Max Oliver and Ruby Elena. Oh it’s so cute! We are hoping to have one more baby, so if we had Max, Ruby and Theo (our favourite boy name) does that make it better?

Our third name is Mia. It comes with little problems, such as the repeating ‘M’ initial. Max and Mia. I think it sounds cute, but I don’t know if it’s too cutesy and tacky. We also know a few little girls named Mia, so I don’t know if it’s a bit popular (I know Ruby is popular too (at least in Aus), but we don’t know any). Also the middle name is an issue, Mia May sounds way too cutesy, but Mia Elena doesn’t sound right either because of them both ending in ‘a’. So yeah, I’m just not sure.

Our last name is James, so we really want a girls name that is clearly feminine. Some other names we have considered, but aren’t using are:
Scarlett
Amaia
Raina
Amelia

And like I said before, our favourite boy name is Theo, so if we have another boy this will most likely be his name!

So what do you think Swistle and readers? Are these names usable or unusable? Maybe a poll could be helpful. Suggestions for other names would be great too!

Another issue with Alaia is pronunciation: I wouldn’t have known how it was pronounced, and probably would have tried “ah-LAY-yah” first (I’d be thinking, “Maybe it’s like Alaina, but without the N”). After finding out the actual pronunciation, I noticed I immediately started using “a liar” as a mnemonic to help me remember how to pronounce it—unfortunately reinforcing that connection.

Names similar to Alaia that might avoid the issues:

Eliza
Isla
Lila
Linnea
Maya/Mya (same middle name problems as Mia)

My favorite is Eliza: to me it sounds almost exactly like Alaia, but without the liar-sound and spelling/pronunciation issues. Eliza May James; Max and Eliza.

My kids watched Max and Ruby, so for me it’s an instant and deal-breaking connection. I think if you had another child in between a Max and a Ruby it would improve things somewhat—but still not enough for me to take it out of the category of “Names that were unfortunately eliminated by other names used.”

Names similar to Ruby that might avoid the issues:

Abby
Alice
Daisy
Darby
Embry
Ivy
Libby
Lucy
Pearl
Phoebe
Prudence
Sadie
Shelby
Silvie
Zoe

My favorite is Ivy: the sassiness of Ruby without a children’s television theme song springing to mind. Ivy Elena James; Max and Ivy.

I also like Phoebe. It has the sassiness and also the -bee ending of Ruby. Phoebe Elena James; Max and Phoebe.

Max and Mia are definitely very, very cute, but not in a way that makes me think Mia should be ruled out (i.e., just cute, not tacky). One concern is whether having two 3-letter, M-initial names will make you feel backed into a corner when choosing a name for a possible third child.

Names similar to Mia that might avoid the issues:

Calla
Cleo (but would rule out Theo for a future child)
Gia (maybe not with James)
Isla
Lia
Willa

My favorite is Willa. It’s sweet like Mia, without crossing the possible Too Cute line, or backing you into a corner later. Willa May James; Max and Willa.

I also like Isla, especially since it appears on two of the lists: it’s like a cross between Alaia and Mia. Isla May James; Max and Isla.

Name update! Elena writes:

Our little girl arrived a whole week early on the 29th of December. Oliver and I could not decide which name was our favourite, but we managed to narrow it down to Isla May and Lucy Elena. We had decided to wait until she was born to decide. When we met her, neither of us knew what name she ‘felt’ like. When Max came to meet her we asked him if we should name her Isla or Lucy, and he said Isla. So she became Isla May. We are all in LOVE with our Isla, and couldn’t be happier with her name. I also love that Max got to choose her name…he tells everyone that he “choosed Isla”!

Thank you Swistle and to all who commented!

Candice writes:

Help please!
I am due in about 10 weeks with our third boy. We have Cade Bryan, who is 5, and Colin David Franklin, who is 3. Colin’s middle names are his 2 grandpa’s names, so we are set on honoring family. I am Candice and my husband is Bryan, and our last name is Faith. So obviously ‘Christian’ is not an option. We are having a hard time naming this last child! We are mainly looking at B or C names, but not exclusively. We like names that are somewhat unusual. Being a teacher, my goal is to not have my children be in class with someone of their same name. (although Cade has gotten quite popular since we picked it.) Here is the list we are considering, but by no means are we only going to use one of these. We are open to any and all suggestions! The top 7 are marked, the others are in no particular order. If this baby were a girl, she would have been Brinley or Lucy.

–Bryson
–Chase
–Owen
–Carson
–Max
–Cayson
–Cameron
Colter
Calum
Cyler
Camden
Casey
Coleman
Blake
Bryden
Brecken
Cole
Carlin
Kai
Brennan
Cruz
Andy

Any thoughts are greatly appreciated! thank you!

 
The name Cade had a peak in 2001 at #201, but since then has been steadily getting less common:

(screenshot from SSA.gov)

The name Colin is significantly more common than Cade, but has also been much steadier in its popularity ranking, which makes its popularity less noticeable. (Combining it with the spelling Collin, the name would be #70 in 2010.)

(screenshot from SSA.gov)

If your primary goal is to try to avoid classroom duplicates, I’d cross Owen off the list: it was #47 in 2010 and it’s still climbing. Max is trickier to figure out: it was #98 in 2010, but combined with Maxwell and Maximus (two of the more common long-forms) it’s already up to #46 so I’d cross that one off too. Brycen/Bryson together are #95; that’s getting more comparable to the popularity of the name Colin. Chase is #66 (and sounds like a command when paired with the surname); Carson/Karson is #71. I’d scratch off Cameron: Cameron/Camron/Kameron/Kamron was #40 in 2010, but it’s also used commonly for girls so that increases the chances of a classroom duplicate.

So from your list of favorites, I’d say Cayson is the best choice for avoiding classroom duplication. Even combining it with Cason, Kason, and Caysen, it was still only #253 in 2010: about as common as Cade/Kade, but still much less common than Colin and all the other candidates.

But the statistics are national so can be misleading: certain areas tend to have more of certain sorts of names. And statistics don’t take into account how similar the names Cade and Cayson sound: I think there might be some trouble with people getting the sounds confused and ending up with Case and Cayden.

So I think if I were you I might go with a riskier-but-still-not-TOO-risky name from the finalists: Brycen or Carson, I think. Either of those is uncommon enough to be statistically unlikely to have two in a classroom, but quite different in sound from Cade and Colin. If you might have more children later on, I’d choose Brycen to introduce the second possible initial early on. If three is it, I’d lean more toward Carson.

Or, I might move down into the list of alternates. Is Cyler pronounced with a soft C like Cyrus and Cyril, or is it the same as Kyler? If it’s a respelling of Kyler, I think I wouldn’t use it because of mispronunciation hassles. Colin and Callum are hard for me to say together, and Cole seems like a blend of Cade and Colin, but I think Colter or Coleman would work great: they LOOK like they’d sound too similar to Colin, but they don’t. Camden also seems like it would work very well.

 

 

Name update! Candice writes:

Thank you for your input and the advice of your readers! We have decided to go with Bryson Benjamin Faith. We have had some negative comments from family and friends that thought we should go with another ‘C’ name because we have Cade and Colin, but we think Bryson fits well with our family, especially considering my husband is Bryan. Thanks again for your help! Bryson should be joining us soon, and I’ll be sure to send a picture when he gets here!

Erin writes:

I am currently 22 weeks pregnant with fraternal twin girls and I am due January 29, 2012. I really have a hard time coming up with girl names but think I have one for Baby A. My problem is that I am having a really hard time coming up with a first name for Baby ‘B.’ Our last name is 3 syllables, starts with L and rhymes with “Lavender.”

My name is Erin, my husband is Daryl and our 18 month old son is Cohen Fox “Lavender.” I love boy names and have no problem coming up with them. If one of these babies was a boy they would have likely been Emmett Hawk (Hawk, because I love animal middle names for boys). I like double consonants and also liked boy names Beckett and Wyatt.

I don’t know if a description of my son might help with names, but he’s a quick idea. My son is blond haired with beautiful, coarse waves and he is blue eyed (born with a full head of black hair though that changed when he was 4 months old). I’m assuming my girls might also follow this trend. My husband and I are both dark haired but he has blue eyes and I have brown. My son is stocky and sturdy. He’s 35 lbs at 18 months old, but he’s also off the charts for height. He has big blue eyes, a cute broad but button nose and full lips with apple cheeks.

I am a maternity nurse and hear names all the time and I think because of that I really don’t like most of the top 1000 girl names on most charts.

As far as naming the twins, we have actually decided on Avalon Juno “Lavender” (Avalon actually came to me in a dream and I loved it) for Baby A and we know that we want Quinn as a middle name for Baby B.

I had originally picked Tabitha as a first name for Baby B but my whole family pretty much hates it (mainly because of the shortening to “Tabby”…I like the idea of Beth as a nn though), so I’m back to the drawing board. I recently took a liking to Everly and Ember but again I’m getting snubbed noses. I think Everly might be a bit to close to Avalon because of the soft vowel and then v sound (and you might get Avy and Evie for nicknames which are really close).

I prefer 2 to 3 syllable first names as well. I like names from fantasy/fairy inspired, or that are just off the beaten path but not too “out there.” Names already used by a couple of my cousins that I love are Briar and Brynn. I like nature type names as well. I really like Willow, but again…no family approval. So frustrating! I got a lot of flack about Juno, but my husband loves it and it’s a middle name so we are keeping it as is. I think it would be cute to have the name start with B (then we would have first initials of A, B, C, D, & E in our family), and thought Braeleigh was cute, but my husband didn’t like it because it’s a bit of a mouthful with our last name. I’m also not a fan of alliteration with our last name though so I’ve been avoiding “L” names.

Anything you could suggest at this point would be so helpful.

and

I thought I’d send an update on our naming process. We could still use a bit of help! I am almost 28 weeks pregnant now with fraternal twin girls. Baby A is still Avalon Juno “Lavender” at this point and we have decided on Baby B’s first name to be Brooke. We definitely want to use the middle name Quinn but I’m having a hard time with the flow of Brooke Quinn with the hard K sounds so close together. I thought of switching the middle names, but my husband doesn’t want the initials “BJ” in there. My sister has a friend with those initials as well and has had nothing but teasing for ages. The name Quinn is important for us to keep because it is a name my sister loves and she wants us to use it. Considering she was our egg donor for our IVF pregnancy, I really want to use it too. I’m sure we could compromise on the middle names and remove Juno (although we’ve liked that name since I was pregnant with my son), and have Avalon Quinn and Brooke ____ . So stumped!

Any help would be great!

Thanks

 
I wonder if any of the names your family doesn’t like (or any of the names you liked except that they didn’t work as sister names for Avalon) would work as middle names for Brooke.

Brooke Ember
Brooke Everly
Brooke Tabitha
Brooke Willow

My favorite from that group is Tabitha: Avalon Quinn and Brooke Tabitha. I like the way they’d each have a 1-syllable name and a 3-syllable name.

But looking at the logic puzzle presented in the letters, it seems like the easier part to change is the first name Brooke. That’s the name that’s currently preventing you from using Juno, which was unshakeable in the first letter and which you say in the second letter you’ve liked since you were pregnant with your son. It looks like it’s a matter of choosing which name you’d prefer to use, Brooke or Juno—and Brooke is a more recent choice, and one that doesn’t fit your first-name preferences as well as Avalon does.

The Baby Name Wizard mentions both Meredith and Bethany as names similar to Tabitha. I’d add Meribeth, a name we encountered on a child at the pool this summer and really liked. Avalon Juno and Meribeth Quinn.

Or Matilda. Avalon Juno and Matilda Quinn.

Or Minerva. Avalon Juno and Minerva Quinn. I like all the V sounds with your surname.

I wish Lorelei would work with your surname, because that would be so perfect with Avalon.

Ember reminds me of Cambria. Avalon Juno and Cambria Quinn.

Everly reminds me of Waverly. Avalon Juno and Waverly Quinn. V sounds again.

Willow and Briar remind me of Juniper. Avalon Juno and Juniper Quinn. I don’t know if the repeating June-sound would bother me or not; I might even kind of like it.

For a B name, one that comes to mind is Bronwyn. My impulse is to switch the middle names, but that lands you right back with the BJ problem, so it’s a little rhymey with Quinn. Avalon Juno and Bronwyn Quinn.

Another is Briony, which can be pronounced BRY-oh-nee as a botanical reference, or BREE-ah-nee as a modern sound-combination name. Avalon Juno and Briony Quinn.

Another is Beatrix, one of my own favorites. Avalon Juno and Beatrix Quinn.

Another is Bridget. Avalon Juno and Bridget Quinn. I like the repeating short-I sound in Bridget Quinn: it sounds happy and energetic to me.

If Brooke is set, I’d add Waverly to the middle name candidates. Avalon Quinn and Brooke Waverly.

Name update! Erin writes:

I just thought I’d drop a line to let you know that our baby girls have arrived! They made their debut 5 weeks premature at 35 weeks and 2 days. We wanted to thank you for your naming advice and for all the feedback it received. We decided to name Twin ‘A’ – Avalon Juno and Twin ‘B’ – Bellamy Quinn. I love their names!! The twins are fraternal and completely different. Avalon was the bigger and fairer of the two at 5 lbs 7 oz and Bellamy was 4 lbs 8.5 oz and has a head of dark hair. We are using the nicknames “Avy” and “Bella” for short. I do have a quick follow up question though…How would you spell “Avy” without giving it a hard A sound? Avy, Avi, Avie, Avee, Avey? No matter how I look at it, it seems to sound like Navy without the ‘N.’ For a 22 month old, Cohen is a great big brother too! Now we have our A,B,C,D,E family ;)

I have also attached a picture of the girls at 3 weeks old. Avalon is in the front, and Bellamy has her hand on her sister’s shoulder.

Thanks again!!

I would use Abbie/Abby as the model and spell it Avvie or Avvy.

Karla writes:

You’ve helped me before: http://swistlebabynames.blogspot.com/2008/06/baby-girl-or-boy-voisey.html.
We ended up having a boy, and we named him soren micah.

NOW, we are adopting a girl, and based on your help (and suggestions) from last time, I would choose Iris Mabel in a heart-beat. And am still very open to that…
BUT, our daughter is going to be close to 5 1/2 when we adopt her, and her name right now is Yan Rui (pronounced Yonna Roo-ay, with Rui prounouced as one syllable).
While we believe giving her a name that we have chosen is an important means of communicating her place in our family (I know there are different thoughts about this, but that’s where we stand right now), we wonder if it is best to keep it as similar to her name now as possible…..OR if not that, to at least choose a name that is similar in meaning.
If we go by meaning, her name means “happy” and “lucky”. Names that we have found that mean similar things are Felicity, Felice, Aida…I don’t mind any of these, except Felicity Voisy sounds weird. And Aida is too close to Adeline, our deceased daughter, and we’re not comfortable (nor do we feel its appropriate) to make our newest daughter any type of namesake (also based on Swistle fan commments from last time).
If we go with names that sound similar, we have only come up with Anna (pronounced Onna) Rae. What do you think?

Thanks again

I see what you mean. I feel the same way about names: that giving a name, because it’s one of the official acts of parenthood, can be an important symbolic relationship-establishing act—but that when the child in question is five, it’s more important to let her keep her own name. I’m imagining my six-year-old daughter and how she’d feel about changing her name to something else (even if it was something that meant the same as her name), and it’s giving me a wrenched feeling.

I wonder if it would work to use Yonna or Yana? It would be translating her name from one language to another, which is a common thing to do with names (especially if the name was originally in another alphabet), and as I say it and think about it, I think it’s a very pretty name. It’d distinctive and a little exotic, but easy to pronounce, and familiar because of names like Donna and Brionna. For unusual names, I love if there’s an easy thing to say to help someone understand the name, and Yonna has a perfect one: “It’s like Donna, but with a Y instead of a D.” Or “It’s like Brionna, but without the Bri.” I also think it goes well with the other sibling names, and especially with the sister name: Ezekiel, Basil, September, Soren, and Yonna is a nice mix. And I like it with your surname: Yonna Voisey.

Yes, I think that would be my first choice. I think I would translate her name to U.S. English and spell it Yonna or Yana; I’d leave her middle name spelled Rui because pronunciation issues are no big deal and even kind of fun when it’s a middle name; and then I would give her a second middle name of your choice, anything you like (though a name like Felice would very pleasing symbolically), and I’d make a big deal about how that is the name you are giving her now that she is your child and a part of your family.

What does everyone else think the Voiseys should do?

Edited to add: Karla writes:

I am sorry for the confusion….seriously, this is my LAST time writing you, because this is our last kid. :)  but apparently, there are various ways to say our soon-to-be adoptive daughter’s name, depending on tone (or something?)  While one Chinese friend told me one way, we finally got in touch with someone who is in contact with the orphanage, and our particular child’s name is not pronounced Yanna.  It is pronounced Ian (Ee-yen).  

While lots and lots of people suggested we not change her name, does that advice still hold when her name is an American boy’s name?  My opinion is that we should keep her name.  She is five.  We have already named our kids pretty unique names (Basil, September, Zeke, and Soren), so it’s not like she’d be in a family with a bunch of kids with really popular, normal names.  So if her name doesn’t follow trends, that might be okay.  Secondly, while we thought we were giving our boys names that were old-fashioned, but obviously male names, (Basil, Ezekiel, Soren), many, many people have assumed Basil is a girl if they haven’t met him yet.  And people aren’t sure about September’s gender either.  So….while there are not many female Ians that I know of (except the model Eyen), I wonder if people will just get used to it when they meet our daughter…Besides, are there enough gender-neutral names (Dillon, Reagen, Madison….) that are similar enough that Ian will just fit in?  Finally, if you agree with me on not changing it (even with this new information), I am curious how you would suggest spelling it.  I really don’t want to spell it Ian, like the boy name….I would like a different spelling….something more female….kind of like Leigh looks like a girl name while Lee would lean towards boyish.  I looked into different spellings and thought the British spelling, Iain, seems the most girly.  I KNOW she would need to tell everyone how to say her name, but at least not every teacher would look at it and think “boy”.  What do you think? 

Thank you AGAIN…..

Name update! Karla writes:

I know I emailed you again, for advice on our soon-to-be adopted daughter’s name, but we had to make a decision for the paperwork, so we did. 
While most of your reader’s suggested keeping her name when we all thought it was pronounced “Yanna”, which is what I was originally told, I wondered if their advice would be the same if they knew it was pronounced Ian, which is how it is actually pronounced (as we found out recently), since there is such an association with a boy’s name in America.  Well, we discussed it, and decided there were enough Dillons and Morgans and Reagans that were girls, so Ian would have to fit in! :) Especially since that is already her name!  So, we kept her name as suggested, but changed the spelling to Eyann, to make it look a little more feminine.  Thanks for everyone’s feedback.