Holly writes:

My husband and I are expecting our second baby, a girl. She is due on the 31st of October, but as her older sister was two weeks early, I have a feeling she will be early too. Our first daughters name is Sophia Catherine. Catherine is my mums middle name, and I love that Sophia shares that with her. We sometimes call her Sophie-Kate, which I absolutely love!

We have decided that baby girl #2 will definitely be Grace, with Gracie as an occasional nickname. However we cannot decide on a middle name. We have searched high and low for a family name to use, but really don’t like any. The only family name we would consider using is McKinley, but I’m not too sure about it. I worry that Grace will be jealous that Sophia got a feminine middle name that we love, and she got a more masculine middle name that we are only okay with.

We have ten middle names we like, but we like them all and can’t decide which is our favourite!
In no particular order, they are:
Grace McKinley
Grace Adelaide
Grace Juliana
Grace Alaina
Grace Matilda
Grace Lillian
Grace Imogen
Grace Alexandra
Grace Amelia
Grace Louisa (I thought she could be Gracie-Lou, but is it tacky or cute to have Sophie-Kate and Gracie-Lou?)

I should also mention that our last name is Camden, and we are not too fussed on how well the middle name flows with it. For example Catherine Camden sounds a bit funny, but we love Catherine so it doesn’t bother us. Also I have worried that if we don’t use McKinley as Grace’s middle name, she will be upset that we didn’t use a family name. However I have decided that if she does complain I will just let her know that we didn’t use a family name as we wanted to use a name we loved.

I was hoping that you, Swistle, would be able to create a poll with these names. I am also curious to see which middle name stands out to you.

Thanks :-)

 
You have a long list there, so what I’d suggest first is seeing if you can eliminate some least-favorites. Paul and I once narrowed down a too-long list by having each of us go through and rank each name. Any that were tied could have the same rank, like this:

Henry 1
Milo 1
Elliot 2
Leo 2
Charlie 3
Alan 4
Daniel 4

Held up next to each other, two lists like that can show you that, for example, both of you have the same several names in the #1 slot so you can start focusing on those, or that there are several names in the lowest slot that can probably be eliminated as not having any chance of trumping the higher-ranked names. (It can also show you if you’re nearly opposite and need to consider a mid-ranked name as a compromise.)

In the meantime, I will go into the thicket with my machete on the Highly Opinionated setting, to see if I can quickly take it down to my own favorite.

Grace McKinley immediately stands out to me: I think it’s gorgeous and striking. BUT: the important thing here is that YOU’RE not finding it gorgeous and striking. It sounds to me like you’re hoping for a family name but that your main priority is finding something feminine that you love—and I vote for going with that. It’s common for a firstborn to get a family name and for the siblings not to. (Or would you want to use your own name? Grace Holly Camden is so pretty.) And for all we know, the fight could end up being that Sophia is jealous because she got a grandma middle name and Grace got the cool middle name, or whatever.

Grace Louisa also stands out to me, and I’m in favor of the Sophie-Kate and Gracie-Lou idea.

If it were me, I would probably take out Grace Adelaide because of the way they run together in a “saddle” sound. The other vowel-beginning middle names give me that run-together problem, too. Normally I’d mention too that first and middle names are not often said together—but since you DO say your first daughter’s first and middle together often, I think you might do so with your second as well.

And I’d take out Grace Juliana and Grace Lillian for some reason I can’t put a finger on.

I said I was taking McKinley out, but I’m putting it back in. I really love family names, and Grace-McKin or Gracie-Lee might be super cute as nicknames. But again, this is just my OWN list, and yours might look quite different when you use your own machete.

So my narrowed-down list would look like this:

Grace McKinley Camden
Grace Matilda Camden
Grace Louisa Camden

I like all of those approximately equally in their full forms, but I’d vote for Grace Louisa for the sake of the Gracie-Lou nickname (and because even though it’s my own list, I’m remembering your tepid feelings about McKinley). Sophia Catherine and Grace Louisa; Sophie-Kate and Gracie-Lou.

Let’s have a poll over to the right to see everyone else’s favorites (it’ll only let you vote for one, but feel free to make expanded lists in the comments section). [Poll closed; see results below.]

Name update! Holly writes:

Our beautiful healthy girl arrived on the 25th of October. We decided to name her Grace McKinley. Big sister Sophia is in love with her, and calls her “Gacie-Kins” (Gracie-Kins) all of the time!

Thank you to Swistle and all of the readers who helped convince us to use McKinley.

E. writes:

I am currently pregnant with a girl, due this winter. My husband and I have always loved the name Maisie, and I was pleased to learn it’s a nickname for Margaret, the name of a beloved family member. My problem? Our last name is Atwood, so she would share a name with the well-known author, Margaret Atwood. We do plan on calling her Maisie, so the obvious solution would be to just name her Maisie and be done with it. But I do like the idea of naming her after a family member, and I also worry that Maisie is too whimsical as a “real name”, and she wouldn’t have something more formal to fall back on when she becomes a Supreme Court justice (ahem). I have always gone by a nickname for my formal name, and liked having something more serious to use professionally, in publications, etc. So I guess I have two questions for you and your readers: First, how weird would it be to have a child named after someone famous (though, admittedly, it’s not like we’re naming her Angelina Jolie)? Secondly, do you think Maisie is too whimsical to be anything but a nickname? I keep going back and forth on this, and would really appreciate an outside opinion. Thank you!

 
This is a pair of questions I can see getting opinions from ALL OVER the spectrum. My own set of opinions is that I think the Margaret Atwood connection is too strong to use the name (not because of either a positive or a negative association, but based only on the STRENGTH of the association), and that I think Maisie works better as a nickname for a given name.

I had to think a bit to come up with those opinions, though, because it’s so hard to tell when a name is worth using despite issues with it: I often come down on the side of “Yes, I see the issue—but if you really want the name, it won’t be all THAT much hassle, and you should go for it.” What I finally did was imagine it as my OWN name. Would I want to keep discussing the Margaret Atwood thing? No. And if my name were Maisie, would I also want a more professional option? Yes.

You could do some fancy footwork and make Margaret the middle name (the connection is still very strong for me there, though) and give her a different first name but nickname her Maisie. Or you could name her Mae or May and call her Maisie. (I like the sound of Mae Margaret, too, if you want to use the honor name.)

Let’s find out where the rest of us are on the spectrum. Let’s have TWO polls over to the right: one on the Margaret Atwood association, and one about Maisie as a given name. [Polls closed; see results below.]

Name update! E. writes:

Update! And a surprise!

Thank you so much for posting my question. As you predicted, the responses were all over the place, and it was fascinating to see such a wide variety of opinions. I really appreciated the many suggestions of alternate formal names we could use to get Maisie. I became particularly fond of Mae, and really wanted to make it work, but…well, there’s something I didn’t tell you. This baby is a twin. I didn’t mention it when I originally wrote to you, because I didn’t think it was relevant. It only became an issue once Mae came into consideration, because we decided to name her twin sister…June. MAE & JUNE. Could you imagine? I’m just not that cruel.

So Mae was out, and I didn’t love any of the other alternatives. So we were back to Margaret or Maisie. My gut was telling me that Maisie was better as a nickname, and your poll reinforced my feelings. In the other poll, I noticed that 29% of the respondents didn’t notice the connection at all. This really surprised me. My impression is that your readers are a very literate crowd, and I reasoned that if nearly one-third of them didn’t recognize Margaret Atwood, it was going to be far less noticeable among the general public.

I also really appreciated the commenters (Heidi J, bunnyslippers, etc) who pointed out that she would be known primarily as Maisie as a child and by the time she’s an adult her peers may not recognize the connection. I took special note of the comment about the child named “Ayn Rand”–the kids didn’t notice it, and adults asked about it but understood once they heard it was a family name. That seemed similar to our situation, and helped me see that it wouldn’t bother me that much if people inquired about her name.

Interestingly, I have a similar issue with my name. My maiden name is Elizabeth Burton, and from time to time I hear, “Hey, that was Elizabeth Taylor’s name when she was married to Richard Burton!”. Do I roll me eyes when I hear this? Absolutely. Do I find it annoying? Not really. People are funny, and they’re just trying to make conversation. It’s not a big deal to me, and hopefully won’t be one for my daughter.

So without further ado, I present to you Margaret Jane (aka Maisie), and her sister June Adeline. As suggested, I gave Maisie a strong middle name/initial to separate her first and last names. She is named after my mother (and her mother), who is absolutely tickled to share a name with her granddaughter. The babies are now 19 weeks old, and the only person to comment on the Margaret Atwood connection is their pediatrician. :)

Christy writes:

Swistle I’ve been following you for a while, and knew if I were having a boy I would need your help….so here I am 8 1/2 months pregnant with a BOY and still no name!!!! To make matters worse…My husbands #1 name is a popular girls names: Peyton…HELP!!!!

Our last name sounds like Julien-elle. We have a daughter Gwen Grace (yes just Gwen, its not short for anything). We are absolutely obsessed with her name and love that we don’t know any other Gwen’s.

So we have never really had a boys name (thank goodness we had a girl first!) and I am having a hard time thinking of a name that fits well with Gwen. Like mentioned above, our daughter is just Gwen……I am a “Christine” who has never gone by that one day of my life (always been a Christy)….so I tend to be drawn toward shorter names that aren’t shortened to a nickname. We do have middle name options (woohoo!): James, Paul, or Gideon.

Names I like:

Vance – my secret favorite, my husband liked it at first but is slowly getting over it, thinking it is too “out there”. I really think Vance goes well with Gwen. (but is VJ bad initials to have?!?!?)

Rhett – Husband thinks it sounds like Rex ( and we know a baby Rex)

Paxton – my attempt to sway him from Peyton, I like the nickname Pax (yes I realize this goes against my rule above!) but feel like its a bit made up to me and getting popular.

Gavin – I’m pretty sure Gwen Stefani ruined this one out for us……although I think its a super cute sibling set!!! Plus we are fans, so that might be a little too weird!

Landon – but I don’t think it goes with Gwen

Miles – ehh

Layne – Hubby not into it

Names husband likes:

Peyton – enough said!……..Although in my husbands defense, I too liked that name for a boy about 10 year ago….but in this age of mommy groups, gym classes and the internet I’ve come across LOTS of baby girl Peytons.

Barron – bad association

Caleb – this is slowly moving its way up his list……I must admit I do like it, but have a real issue with its spot on the SSA list #33 (although I do not know any kids named Caleb, and honestly have never met one in my life!!! thats saying a lot….see below)

One last thing that complicates things all my friends have boys, so we have lots of boy names off limits: Nathan, Eli, Jack, Will, Kaiden, Liam, Cooper, Luke, Brody, Brayden, Christian, Charlie, Cade, Colin, James, Rex just to name a few…….

Please help me find Gwen’s brothers name! THANK YOU!!!!

I suggest Grant. It’s short, it’s similar to Rhett and Vance and Landon. If you wanted to continue the G theme (especially if this is your last child), you could use Gideon as the middle name. Grant Gideon Julienelle; Gwen Grace and Grant Gideon.

Or Garrett: it’s the Rhett sound you like, but with an additional sound to avoid the Rex problem. Garrett Julienelle; Gwen and Garrett.

Or Clark: Clark Julienelle; Gwen and Clark.

More suggestions for the Julienelles?

Name update! Christy writes:

Introducing Vance Paul Julienelle born November 22, 2011.

I had known in my heart that his name was always Vance, and while my husband liked it was not his #1. After much research of the name Vance in history and lots of praying, we had been given so many Vance “signs” that the name was undeniably meant to be! Even my husband agreed! The name is perfect for him and we get lots of complaints. Thank you for all your comments and support!!

Kathy writes:

I’m due in late November with a boy, who will be our second son (no more children planned after this). I am American and my husband is Danish — born and raised for the first 30 years of his life in and around Copenhagen, moved here and ended up staying. So our main naming issue is ensuring that names work in both languages. Our son is Christian Kai (Christian after his paternal great-grandfather and Kai is another Danish name — Kaj would have been the Danish spelling but we didn’t want him to spend his life explaining the pronunciation in non-Scandinavian countries).

We are having a hard time this time around for some reason. We had a major scare at 16 weeks when we were told the baby had a greater than 1 in 3 of having a serious chromosomal abnormality, and when amnio thankfully revealed he is perfectly healthy, I decided that his middle name should be the Scandinavian variant of Matthew — Mathias. Husband agrees and likes that name. (It is pronounced “Ma-TEE-as” in Danish.)

As for the first name, DH likes Anders, which is the Scandinavian variant of Andrew. I like it but don’t LOVE it. My main concern is that it is just slightly unusual enough in the U.S. that he’ll always have to spell/explain it, unlike his brother Christian. I feel like Mathias wouldn’t be the greatest first name either, for the same reason — it’s just far enough out there to cause confusion.

Other names that I prefer but that DH doesn’t like (primarily because they are “too common” or “too boring” according to him, keeping in mind that his frame of reference is Denmark):
Soren
Henrik
Lucas
Carsten (fair enough — probably too close to Christian)

Names he likes but I have axed:
Marcus
Andreas
Magnus
Mikkel

I also really like the name Owen and did try to convince him to stray from the Danish list a bit but he won’t budge. When we look at lists of Danish names, many of them are just so….Viking-like. And that’s not what we’re looking for.

So — just looking for reactions to the name Anders Mathias, as that seems to be our front-runner and I am trying to convince myself that it will work, despite not being my own first choice. Do American readers think it’s a little affected or weird? And what if we went with Mathias as the first name — would that work at all or just doom the boy to a lifetime of confused looks and misspellings?

Thanks! (And Tak, from my husband)

I think Anders Mathias is perfect. Anders has a slightly exotic international sound, without being so exotic that people will have a hard time with it: it’s pronounced as it’s spelled, and it feels familiar because of the names Andrew and Anderson. Christian and Anders are a great sibling set, and I think Mathias is a perfect middle name. Hans Christian Anderson came to mind after a few minutes, but it’s a positive association, and not a very strong one when it’s Anders not Anderson.

I think Mathias would also work well as a first name. I’ve encountered it before on an actual child; to me it seems like a freshened version of Matthew to go along with Elias and Phineas. The spellings Mathias and Matthias combined had a popularity in the U.S. of #463 in 2010; Anders is at #936, but Anderson at #312 makes it feel a little more popular. I don’t think either name would have enough spelling/pronunciation/confusion issues to need to cross it off the list. There would likely be the mild hassle of “one T or two” or the like—but most names have something like this. (My name isn’t so much Kristen as it is “Kristen: K, r, i, s, t, E, n.”)

Name update! Kathy writes:

Anders Mathias arrived on November 20th — the name fits him well and we’ve received a lot of positive feedback from people upon hearing it. Thanks again to you and your readers for helping with this big decision!

Megan writes:

We’re expecting our first child, a baby boy on March 6. That leaves me plenty of time, I know- but I am so torn on names. Our last name sounds like Right with a W. My husband’s name is Alexander (Alex) and my name is Megan. My all time favorite name for a boy was hands down Elliot. I wanted to use Jackson for a middle name since this is the grandfather’s name. However, our very close friends are naming their son Elliot and we see them on a weekly basis. So my question is, can you help with finding a name that is like Elliot? I also love Everett, Ezra, Elias (I know, all E names) and Oliver. With our last name, I’m finding the R sound a little strong. Oliver Wright doesn’t bother me too much- I just love that name. I do hope to someday have a daughter down the road, which I’d love to name Evelyn (Grandmother name). I also like the name Claire for a girl. Not sure if this helps to give a feel for my naming style- but if you could HELP, that would be great!! I read your blog daily looking for new possibilities. Thanks!

and

I know I’ve already emailed you already- but as I’ve thought more and more about the names, my husband and I have come to a new favorite: Ellis. We love this name, and it was actually used in my family a lot in the 1800’s. I loved that the name had a little history to it. My main concern is, does Ellis sound too similar to Alex? Will it be too confusing to have an Ellis and Alex in the same household? I have started calling him Ellis in my head- but I don’t want to commit to the name unless I know for sure. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks :)

 
Elliot is on my own list of names that got away. I recently encountered the name in Henry’s class, where it passed the good-impressions test with flying colors. Sigh. Perhaps we will one day have grandsons with the name! Or is there any hope your good friends would find it sweet and funny to both have sons named Elliot? It helps if this has been your first choice all along and you can say “Oh!!! What a coincidence!! That’s the same name WE’VE picked out for a boy!!”

Ellis is a good alternative, especially since you have it in your family tree. I said both Ellis and Alex out loud several times, and while I see what you mean about the similar sounds, I still think they’re not too confusing to use together.

Ellis is rising in popularity for girls as well as for boys, but boys are still significantly ahead: in 2010, there were 149 new baby girls and 311 new baby boys named Ellis. I am a little worried that it will gain momentum for girls and then be used less for boys, but it is so hard to predict such things. Here’s how it’s been going so far:

2002: 39F, 177M
2003: 54F, 210M
2004: 47F, 212M
2005: 85F, 246M
2006: 100F, 267M
2007: 111F, 262M
2008: 110F, 274M
2009: 124F, 327M
2010: 149F, 311M

Inconclusive at this stage of the game, I’d say, but it’s risen from 1 female Ellis per 4.5 males to 1 female Ellis per 2 males. In some cases, names do remain used for both boys and girls; in other cases, once the girls move in, the boys move out. The popularity of the girl’s name Ella may sway this one toward the girls—or, as with Kyle and Kylie, Ellis and Ella might coexist: one used mostly but not exclusively for boys, and the other used only for girls.

A similar sounding name (though unfortunately without the family connection) is Louis.

A name that has the rhythm of Elliot and the style of Ezra is Gideon.

A name I think of as being in a group with Elliot and Everett is Emmett.

Names I think of as hanging around with Elliot and Oliver: Simon, Julian, Sebastian, Frederick.

Or I wonder if you’d like Malcolm Right.

Another possible E name is Edmund. Edmund Right.

Name update! Megan writes:

We went with Elliot Jackson! Thanks again for posting my question & giving great feedback! Attaching a photo as well!