Ms. Bishop writes:
I’m having a naming dilemma and have approximately 6 weeks left before our baby boy arrives!!! I hope you and your readers can help.
Coming up with a name that both my husband and I liked was difficult enough. We finally came up with a list of about 5 names we both liked, ordered them favorite to least favorite independently, and were both happy to see we had the same name listed as our “most favorite”. The name is Roman. We LOVE the name Roman. So – what’s the dilemma you ask? It’s our last name. Which is Bishop.
Roman Bishop
Our family is fairly traditional, so I wasn’t surprised or bothered when the grandparents (on both sides) scrunched their noses up to the name Roman. They did the same thing with our naming choice of our daughter (sounds like Caden, but with a different spelling), but they’ve learned to love her name just as much as they love her. But – they have pointed out the very thing that is bothering me too – the combo issue. Are we giving our son a name he’ll have to “overcome”??? I don’t want people seeing/hearing his name when he’s older and think that we named him that to be “cute” or “silly”. I’m having such a hard time with this!! He already feels like a Roman to me, so I hate to give the name up. Even our second name choice doesn’t seem to fit as well anymore (our #2 name is Vince).
Ugh – why does this have to be so hard?!
I’m going against the advice of my husband in asking for opinions. He thinks I should stop worrying about what other people think. And, he keeps reminding me that our son will always have the option of going by his middle name (Michael) if he decides he doesn’t want to go by his first. That’s another thing – I personally don’t like the name Michael – but I’m okay with having that as his middle name as a compromise to my husband. So – it would kinda break my heart if our son decided to have that be his primary name. I wish he could talk and tell us his thoughts already on his name! J
Am I overthinking this way too much??
Thanks so much for the help!!
As with all such issues, opinions are going to be all over the spectrum. But my opinion is that Roman Bishop is not a workable name. As soon as I saw it, my eyes widened and then sparkled, and there was an audible laugh. Let’s have a poll over to the right to collect the rest of the spectrum. [Poll closed; see results below.]
“Not worrying about what other people think” is a concept more appropriate for moral situations, where we know we’re doing the right thing and so we shouldn’t worry if other people make fun of us for it; it doesn’t apply as well to a name we’re asking someone else to carry. I recommend The Baby Name Wizard‘s test: Would we want to have this name as our own? We all have names we’re unable to use because of our surnames, and I’m afraid this is one of yours. (Others include Deacon, Noble, Skip, Fisher, Phillip.)
I suggest Rowen/Rohen or Ronan. They’re similar to the name you love, and they may still cause a few people to crack jokes, but it’s no longer as blatant. Other possibilities:
Coleman (may be too close to Caden)
Damon (may be too rhymey with Caden)
Eamon (may be too rhymey with Caden)
Redford
Redmond
Reid
Rhys
Roan
Ruben
Ryan
Simon
Tillman
Truman
Name update! Ms. Bishop writes:
Again, thanks so much for posting my dilemma.
I’m writing you back to let you know that my husband and I decided to stick with Roman. It was just his name already. That, and my husband was DONE with the naming discussion….
And again – thank you. Although we’re going against the grain here, I still really appreciate you posting this and the feedback received.
I agree. Roman Bishop is just…not something I’d saddle a kid with. Ronan is better, and so close to Roman. Another name would be better still. Good luck!
Nobody is coming out and saying the obvious so I will. Roman Catholic Bishop. I would also avoid color names with your surname. Especially since in Catholic religion Cardinals and Bishops etc do have very specific wardrobes of colors associated with their positions. Also because of the association of bishop and chess I would also avoid color names or other names the further the chess association. It’s a real bummer though because Roman is a great name.
I was going to suggest Ronan, too, before I saw Swistle had. If you like Vince but don’t love it, how about Van or Vaughn? Or Vincent?
Roman Bishop- I IMMEDIATELY think of the Catholic hierarchy, which, for me, brings to mind some VERY negative associations. But, I suppose, for some, they’d be happy to have this association. I’d rather not spell out those immediate associations, but I’m sure many of you know what came to mind. Sorry!
i’m sorry… it’s just one of those laughable names like Kelly Green or Bowen Darrow. What about Nolan?
I’m Catholic. Another name or title for the Pope is Bishop of Rome. I really think Roman Bishop is not a good idea regardless of anybody’s religion or lack thereof. Sorry, keep looking.
I usually suggest that you “do what you want” when it comes to names & people’s opinions, but the combination of these two names is just too much for me to say that this time. When I saw Roman Bishop, other than the obvious Catholic association, my first thought of it as a name was “it’s a soap opera character.”
I suggest Ronan, Roland, Nolan, Conan, Dolan for the same sounds. Otherwise, I think the classics fit well with with such a strong last name: James, John, Marcus, Thomas, Lucas, Matthew. (I won’t say Michael since you don’t like it.)
All that said, I think Vincent sounds lovely with Bishop, and you can always call him Vince.
Good luck!
I don’t think Roman Bishop is a workable name, either. Swistle’s suggestions of Roan and Rowan would work better.
Coen/Cohen reminded me of your options. I guess you can always wait til you meet him. Sometimes your favorite names just don’t fit and you’re able to find something unexpected that fits that baby perfectly. :-) good luck! Bishop is a great last name! I think lots of names sound good it!!
My last name is Gardiner and when we were naming our kids we realized ALL nature names are out for this very reason.
I think you need to let go of Roman.
I think Ronan is a good compromise name here. Roman doesn’t work.
I don’t think Roman is the name for you. I do like Rowan, Roland, Ronan, Rhys and Vaughn.
Sadly, I agree with other posters that while Roman is a handsome name, Roman Bishop is just too over-the-top as a combination. Vince is an excellent choice, though (Vincent Bishop also flows well), and I like some of the other suggestions mentioned, such as Rowan, Rhys, and Nolan. If you like Vince, but some of the shine is gone for you, would you like Victor/ Viktor?
Best of luck!
Agreed with all of the above. It’s a shame, because Roman is such a great name. Maybe you could change your last name? :)
We waited until we saw our kids face-to-face before we named them. Our daughter’s name came to me in that between-sleep-and-wakefullness time, and we love it.
Good luck.
I’m sorry to have to say it, because my usual policy is ‘only make positive & supportive comments about other people’s choice of baby names’…but I agree with everyone else who says it would be too much. Almost silly, which is really too bad because Roman is such a great name! Swistle & Clarabella especially nailed it, IMO.
I really love the suggestion of Rowan, and somebody above also suggested Vaughn, which I think would also be a great choice. Good luck!
I’m going to go against the popular opinion here and say, I like it. And I’d use it.
I went to college with a guy with the last name Bishop. And his name was Rich. Also an adjective followed by a noun name. And I never thought anything of it.
To me, Bishop is a last name and I don’t go straight to Catholic heirarchy. I’m not Catholic, I’m Lutheran, and we don’t have bishops in the Lutheran church. Maybe that matters.
But still. I like it. I don’t find it laughable. I think what a cool name.
I’d say DEFINITELY don’t use it. Way too much. And I love the name Roman.
Oh! CORBIN! I love that!! I love, love, love that! Corbin Bishop. Holy cow!
Another vote for Roland.
Owen? Nolan? Ioan (yes, I loved the Hornblower series, why do you ask)? Logan? Orson? Morgan? Rory?
I like Cohen Bishop! But agree with all the other comments. Roman Bishop is just not a good name in full.
As a teacher Roman Bishop is one of those that, going down a class roster I would think, “Oh no! Poor kid!” and follow on a roll call with “Is that what you prefer to go by?” just in case.
I agree that Roman is a great name, just not with your last name. I like the suggestions of Rowan, Cohen, and even Vincent instead.
I echo the comments above about how hard it is to let go of the name you love. Sometimes it really feels like surnames are just there to get in the way. If you like the sound of Corbin, but don’t want a repeating C initial for the sib set, why not consider something like Robin, or even Torben?
I wonder where the poster lives? BC even though I grew up in a small town where half my high school had gone to catholic grade school, and even though I studied a lot of Roman history in college, and even though I go to church even single Sunday (although Im Lutheran), I STILL didn’t even notice the church connection.
So, I’m a big maybe. Maybe bc my kids attend public schools in a pretty big city system I am not overly sensitive to religious connections. I just don’t feel like Catholic culture is that overwhelming these days.
I would keep looking at names, but I wouldn’t give up on Roman yet. To me, the name Roman Bishop falls into the category of names that I can understand why many many people wouldn’t use it, I have no problem with it.
Thank you so much Swistle for posting my naming issue to your blog and for the poll. It has been eye opening. And thanks to all who left comments – you’ve given my husband and I something to think about (along with many wonderful name suggestions to consider).
As of now, I think we’re sticking with Roman. My anxiety about it comes and goes and, to be honest, I can’t determine how much anxiety is caused by hormones vs. rational thought. . . I think though that since we both have such a love of the name despite the 90% of wonderful folks saying we probably shouldn’t use it – well – that’s a lot of love I guess. . . I will let you know what ends up on the birth certificate here in the next few weeks!!
I love Rowan and Caden as a sibset. I would use Rohen to avoid the Roman Catholic confusion.
I think someone else might suggested this, but Roland is a fabulous name and fits very well with Caden. Lincoln is another possibility. It has some of the same style as Roman but without screaming Catholicism.
Or maybe you might like Rhett, Rhys, Landon, or Corban.
Or Ephram. I just met a kid with that name, and am absolutely in love with it now. Ephram Bishop has a nice ring to it.
When I saw the name Roman Bishop I immedietly thought Roman Catholic Bishop. It was the Roman of the name, not the Bishop that I thought was “catholic-y”. HOWEVER, I believe that if you and you husband love it and can find no second choice that would work better, than use it. But if you have any sort of doubt, or possible regret than dont use it. You do not want to be the mother who changes her child’s name 4 months in. I think you should think of possible names that are similar in style, similar in sound, and not at all similar but you still like. Make those three lists and go from there.
I also think that Roman and Caden are a bit miss matched. What about Courtlan? I know it is a bit similar to Caden, but I think it is a GREAT name.
Other possibilities:
Reese, Magnus, Benedict, Felix, Marcel, Quentin, Vincent/Vincenzo (vin-chen-zo).
Good Luck, and just go with your gut!
I know it must be disappointing for you to read most of these comments, but you did write in because you had concerns… very valid concerns, I might add.
Roman is a fantastic name… but not with your surname. Not at all. It reminds me of a couple with the last name of Meyer who wanted to name their son Oscar. Not only would your son have a name to “overcome”, the potential distain coming from other parents at the playground, school, or market would be relentless. Goodness, YOU may take to calling him ‘Michael’ just to avoid the snickers and “Are you serious?” comments.
‘Caden’ is different, unique. Roman Bishop is awkward.
The suggestions of Ronan, Vaughn, Vincent, and Magnus are stellar, and your idea of Vince is wonderful. Do you care for Ruston or Grayson?
All the best wishes to you and your growing family. We are deeply curious what you and your husband decide.
(I’m doing some deleting, editing, and then re-posting of comments to disguise the spelling of the sister’s name.)
Yikes. I hate to have to join the masses on this one, but I really, REALLY would like to steer you away from Roman Bishop. The Mrs. above said it well– it’s a bit like having an Oscar Meyer, and no matter how great a name it is (Roman is fantastic, and when paired with a surname LIKE Bishop, it’s very strong!), it is just so tease-worthy. I’m not sure I would saddle another person with that for life, and I think he would probably resent it as he grew. I’m so, so sorry that I can’t get on board with this name, I really wish I could be gung-ho about it for you!
I love the suggestions of Rowan and Truman, and I think Vince is very handsome as well. I think Rowan is great with Caden, and it actually seems like a stronger pair than Caden and Roman. That is my top choice for you. But I also do like Truman a lot!
Yes, I must agree. I just don’t think Roman was meant to be. And I didn’t mean to rhyme there.
I think Ronan is still too close to Roman. There are so many good suggestions here. I really like Redford, Ruben, Truman, Roland, Nolan, Conan, Cohen, Corban, Rhys, Vaugh, Ephram, Magnus, and Quentin.
I see nothing wrong with your second choice Vince. Vincent would be fine too. The suggestion above of Vincenzo reminded me of Enzo, a diminutive of Vincenzo. With a daughter named Caden, I feel the diminutives of Vince and Enzo are more modern and therefore fit better, but that is all a matter of personal taste.
As far as your husband’s opinion that your shouldn’t care what other people think, I agree that sentiment makes sense in moral situations and matters of personal style, such as modern names vs. traditional names or siblings sharing initials or having different initials.
But in this situation, while your husband may not care what other people think, your son might care. And I don’t feel the option of going by the middle name is a good solution here. You’re still not technically using the name you love, even if it is on the birth certificate. If you are going to compromise in that way, you should at least like the middle name, which you don’t. Even if you did like the middle name, my suggestion would be to move Roman to the middle name spot and use Michael as the first name. But again, you don’t like Michael and that seems like to much of a compromise on your part.
If you are both willing to scrap Michael completely and are struggling to let go of Roman, than perhaps Roman could be the middle name. And even then, I’m not sure I would like having that name. I’m imagining the snickers at graduation as the name “John Oscar Myer” is announced.
I know how difficult letting a name go can be, but for the sake of your son, I strongly urge you to let Roman go.
I am so thankful that my mom decided NOT to name me Candice with my last name Cain. She really was going to! That would have been awful for me. Unfortunately Roman Bishop is the same sort of thing. I think Corbin is a fabulous suggestion with Caden. But if you want to avoid C names, how about Grayson? Declan? I personally think Vince is an awesome name. We also have a friend named Vance and you could call him Van, which seems hip and cool to me.
I love the suggestion of Corbin. It has some of the flow of Roman and is less common but a very solid name, and I think it goes very nicely with Caden.
I also like Ronan as an alternative to Roman. Vincent is a great name, and I like Vance as well. You said that you and your husband do not like Vince very much, though. I agree with Roman being too much with your last name, but hope you choose a name that you both love, or that you know you can grow to love as you pair it with your wonderful baby boy!
No need to parrot everyone else. I wanted to offer a few more suggestions.
One thing that immediately struck me was the nice “AE” combo in your daughter’s name. It is carried out in Michael, too. Perhaps there are a few more names like this that you’d like?
– Graeme. Graeme Bishop. Caden and Graeme.
– Taegan. Taegan Bishop. Caden and Taegan. (Maybe too matchy?)
– Linnaeus. Linnaeus Bishop. nn Lenny Bishop. Caden and Lenny. Gosh, this sounds so appropriate for both a rock star and a CPA. I love it.
Perhaps you’d like names with the RO combo:
– Brogan Bishop. Some people love/hate the alliteration.
Others?
– Linus.
Good luck!
I try to be positive about everyone’s choices, as they’re so personal, but I’m going to join the part of the chorus who suggest that you go for another option! I’m not Catholic, nor am I religious, but the name combo to me just seems too much. If I heard this name, I would wonder “of all the names out there, why did his parents choose to put these two together?!”
I had a favourite name for years and was certain that I’d name a girl that if I was ever blessed enough to have a daughter. A couple of years before we did, my SIL choose that name for their daughter. When we did have a daughter, we found a name we loved even more. This is a completely different situation, I know, but I think from the bulk of these comments that you might want to consider letting that name go as well.
Can you identify what you like most about it — the *Ro* or the *man*? Posters have suggested both Ronan and Truman, which are both great, and go well with Caden. I had an uncle named Roman who went by Ron, but I guess that’s not really an option! I think Vince Bishop is a nice strong name, though it doesn’t seem to go with Caden, if that matters to you at all! Van or Vaughn go better with Caden to me. I quite like Vaughn and Caden together.