Tracy writes:
I emailed you a few weeks (possibly months, I can’t remember exactly) ago about names for our little girl that is due in October. When I emailed before, I wanted some name suggestions. Now, however, we have a different problem.
My husband and I spent hours reading/highlighting The Baby Name Wizard, but we did it seperately. We tend to have very different tastes in names, so we each made our own list. From those lists, we narrowed the names down to only the ones we had in common. (Of course, my favorite name, Eliza, isn’t anywhere on his list. *sigh*)
Here are the names:
Claire
Amelia
Evangaline
Nora
Charlotte
LucyMy problem is two fold:
1. Our other children’s names are Olivia, Austin, and Isaac. Would it be weird to go with a name that doesn’t start with a vowel for our last child?
2. If we were to stay with a vowel name, we would probably go with Amelia right now. However, my cousin (who does live far away, and I only see about once every 3 years.) just named her baby girl Emmelia. Are these too similar? Would it be “stealing” her name?
Any thoughts? Suggestions? Our last name is similar to Abbey, and with several of the names, we’d probably use Claire as a middle name.
Thanks!
I am certain that we’ve had the vowel-name question before, and that we did a poll and most people said they wouldn’t notice a vowel-name pattern unless it was pointed out to them. But can I find this poll in my archives? No. So either I’m imagining it, or I’m not using the right search terms, and in any case let’s have a fresh poll over to the right. It’s not something I would notice myself (though I might now that it’s come up a few times in questions here), and if I did notice it, I would think it was kind of a fun thing to notice, but I wouldn’t think it was weird to break it. With five different starting letters included, it’s a much “softer” pattern than, say, every name starting with the same letter. Madison, Mackenzie, Makayla, and Abigail would catch my attention; Olivia, Austin, Isaac, and Lucy would not.
Let’s have a second poll for whether Amelia is too close to Emmelia. For me it depends in part on whether Emmelia is pronounced the same as Amelia or not. If it’s more like Emma-Leah, and/or they call her Emmie, then I don’t see a problem: different pronunciations, different spellings, different names. If Emmelia is pronounced the same as Amelia, I STILL think it’s okay: you’ve mentioned you don’t see her often, and even if you did I think it’s fine for second cousins to share a name. If you spelled it her same unusual way I could see how she’d see it as copying her, but I suspect your cousin would consider Emmelia a totally different name than Amelia. But I’d be a little nervous too, if I were you—people can have such strong feelings about “stealing” names. I’d go ahead and use it, but I’d fret a little, and I might even email the cousin to feel things out ahead of time (but only if I were willing to drop the name if she freaked out about it).
Both polls are over to the right! [Polls closed; see results below.]
Name update! Tracy writes:
Our little girl has arrived!
Eliza Claire was born October 18th, 2011. For a while, we had decided her name would be Ammelia, per advice of your readers that it wasn’t too close. However, I just really felt like it wasn’t “our name” anymore. Not that I aspire to be “original”, but it felt like I wasn’t creative enough to come up with another name. I finally convinced my husband, after countless repetitions of calling the baby by the name, to name her Eliza. Oddly enough, her middle name, which we were both pretty certain on before she was born, was not decided until right before we left the hospital. Second guessing ourselves.
Anyway, here’s the picture. Thanks so much for the help!
I agree with Swistle. The vowel thing wouldn’t leap out at me, so don’t fret about it!
This ‘stealing’ name thing is getting out of hand! People never used to worry about it. Everyone wanted to use ‘Paul’ in my family in my generation, so they did. We have about 5 of them altogether – and I was at school with two of them at one time. We’re all grown up and gone our separate ways and it doesn’t matter at all now.
But in this case, we’re not even talking about the same name, nor a relative seen more than once in a blue moon. So really, it doesn’t matter!
It’s YOUR baby. You name her how YOU choose! Amelia’s lovely.
I voted “yes” on the vowel poll, because I MIGHT notice it. Now I want to add that I might notice it but it wouldn’t be a big deal. As in, I would notice, but it wouldn’t register as a “thing”. I don’t think that this should really factor into the name you pick.
Also, I have to agree with “Nook of Names”. The ‘stealing’ thing is really out of hand. There are a finite number of names in the world and an infinite number of babies and there are simply going to be overlaps. Add to that that there are people who share good taste and you’re going to get even more over lap. So I say to go ahead. “Steal” the name, just not the baby. :)
I come from a big extended family and there are many cousins that share the same name, some even 1st and middle name. Our family doesn’t think anything of it, but it does get confusing at family functions. I would go with Amelia if you really like it.
My favorite from your list is Amelia, Evangaline, Charlotte and Lucy and Claire is a perfect middle name.
I just wanted to say, I completely understand what you are going through with your cousin’s baby’s name. I come from a fairly average sized family and NO ONE has repeated names, so to me it would be odd to use a similar name to that of someone else in my family. For example, I love the name Emmeline, but my cousin has a daughter named Emma (big surprise), so for me that takes the name off the table (whether she would think its stealing or not!) Thats probably not the best example, but my point is, it is difficult to decide if certain names are too close for comfort. With that being said, I do not think that Emmelia and Amelia are too close at all (although I am pronouncing Emmelia as Emma-Leah in my head). As with all things, you just have to go with your gut!
Good luck :)
I don’t think those names are close enough to give pause. Too close if they were both your kids, but not at all close for second cousins.
I would notice the vowel pattern, but that’s because I’m interested in that sort of thing. I would find it pleasing, but would not think it was weird if you broke such a subtle pattern.
Evangeline Claire may be my new favorite name ever. That is all.
I loooove the name Amelia and it has the added bonus of starting with a vowel although I don’t think it’s all that important.
Amelia Claire? Adorable!
However, Charlotte and Lucy are also favorites of mine, and you have a nice set to pick from ;)
I think I would notice an existing vowel theme, but I wouldn’t notice that it had been broken (unless you’d gone in order and used up all the vowels, like Alice, Edward, Isaac, Owen, Ursula, Yvonne, and then there was baby Madeline). I really don’t think that’s a big deal, and I would encourage you to pick the name you love regardless of whether it is a vowel-start or not.
To me, Emmelia is likely a creative respelling of Amelia, and I’d say them the same way in my head. I probably wouldn’t want to use a different spelling of a name my cousin was using, but I also don’t think it’s at all problematic, especially since the names are not the same on paper so mixups where the entire name (first and last) is identical would be totally avoided. I would however probably discuss the issue with the cousin first, though, to make sure there are no hard feelings or awkwardness.
Evangeline Claire is amazing. wow. I really hope you pick that name, lol :)
Eleanor, nn Nora could also be an option.
Amelia is nice. I personally don’t like the repeating vowel (Austin and Amelia) but that is just me and shouldn’t matter to you. Amelia and Emmelia are quite similar although I assume Emmelia would go by Emme more often than her full name. If you don’t see this cousin often, I wouldn’t worry about it!
If they were first cousins who saw each other several times a year, I’d stay away from a too-similar name to avoid confusion. I nixed Anna because my sister has a Hannah and I could just imagine the mix-ups that would ensue, leaving my parents feeling foolish sometimes. Like others have said, it’s less of an issue if one or both uses a more unique nickname.
However, once every three years doesn’t seem like it would cause a lot of problems, especially if your family is like mine, where the gatherings are getting so huge and each cousin and his/her spouse has at least 2 or 3 other reunions of distant cousins to attend and cousins might skip out just because keeping in touch with *everyone* while dealing with the stress of daily life is just too much. Then, with more children and responsibilities every 3 years may turn into every 10 years and that doesn’t seem worth giving up a name you love.
In answer to your questions:
1) I hadn’t noticed the vowel pattern until you mentioned it. Breaking the pattern would definitely not be an issue for me.
2) I do think the names are a little bit too close, but not repeating within a family is important to me. I think you would have to decide how important it is to you. Would the girls have the same set of great-grandparents or a lot of relatives in common aside from the second-cousin connection? However, I don’t think it would be considered stealing the name either.
Said quickly, Olivia sounds like a two-syllable name, same as Austin and Isaac. I feel like two-syllable names flow really well together.
In keeping with your naming style, I think the best names would be either Charlotte or Nora.
For me, the one exception is Lucy, because it seems so much choppier than the other kids’ names. But, use it if you love it!
I’m with the group that had to say “yes” I’d notice the vowel pattern, but if the poll had been did I think it was weird to break it, I’d have said no.
I wouldn’t notice the vowel pattern. As far as Amelia and Emmelia, they are way too close for sisters, but certainly not for second cousins. I don’t even know who half my second cousins are. I wouldn’t even reconize most of them if I ran into them on the street.
Thanks for the responses, everyone! We’re still trying to figure out what to name her. :) But, I feel more confident in Amelia being on our list.