Tasha writes:
I am at a loss for boy names! I am due with our second son on November 21st. By then, my oldest son-Uriah, will be 2 years and 2months old. My problems with baby names are not only with getting my husband to agree, but some feuding with my family as well. Let me explain;
My ABSOLUTE first pick for a boy was Ezra. LOVE IT! Husband says it is a “heck no, never gonna happen!” :( There are others he has vetoed as well, such as Jasper, Tobias, Titus. We played around with the idea of Simon, but I’m not in love with it.
Here is the big kicker. The one name we both love and agree on is Jude. Love it. HOWEVER…..my sister, who is single and 6 years younger than me, has proclaimed “dibs” on this name. She has informed me if I named my child Jude, she will never forgive me, and will always call him Darrel. Very vindictive. So- it would be a family feud in the making if we chose Jude.
I guess the best way to describe my naming style would be- old time feeling, but not plain by any means. I know that every name we have listed is a bible name, but that is not necessarily a pre-requisite. Also, not that it is necessary, but it is an added bonus when the name has a significant meaning. (Uriah-God is my light. Ezra-strong.) But then, before we knew if it was a boy or girl, the front runner for a girl was Paisley Grace, which completly contradicts the prior sentence as Paisley is both modern and has no real meaning. Other girl names we liked were Willow, Penelope, husband loves Annabelle-not for me.
I have also found the name Oliver to be endearing, but I find it is being overly used. Any suggestions/advice? I am so upset with my sister (and Mom for siding with her) that I have completly stopped discussing baby issues with them, as it makes me angry every time. Please help me with some guidance:)
I am upset with your sister and mother, too. Unless there is more to this story, this is not fair play. There is no reason not to have two cousins named Jude, even if your sister were currently pregnant with a boy. But since she may never have children, or may never have a boy, or may have changed her mind about the name by then, or may find that the hypothetical other parent of her hypothetical future hypothetical son doesn’t like the name, or the name Jude might be a terrible clash with the surname she chooses to give the child, or…well, as I said, I am upset with her too.
The trouble is that in these situations, it’s not going to help even if we all agree that you are right and she is wrong: she will continue to believe herself to be right, and she has your mother’s support, and some things are not worth the horrible effects it would have to use the name when there are two key family members who would believe you were in the wrong to do so—however unfair this is (and it IS). And this is the reality of the situation, and that’s all that we can work with—however satisfying it would be to talk about what the reality of the situation SHOULD be. And so I will take a deep breath, and I will turn my mind to the issue at hand, which is to find you a name that is neither Jude nor Ezra but something similar.
First possibility: Conrad. Strong, old-fashioned. Meanings are always a little difficult to determine, but The Oxford Dictionary of First Names says it means “bold counsel.” Conrad McArthur; Uriah and Conrad.
Ezekiel is so close to Ezra, I suspect your husband won’t like it any better. (It’s really too bad he doesn’t like Ezra: I think it’s great with Uriah.) But it’s worth a shot, and the nickname Zeke shares some of the attitude of Jude. Ezekiel McArthur; Uriah and Ezekiel.
Cyrus McArthur; Uriah and Cyrus. I like the repeating long-I sound of the two first names.
Gabriel catches my attention because I associate the nickname Gabe with the coolness of the nickname Jude. Gabriel McArthur; Uriah and Gabe.
I think the name Gideon is sorely underused. I think The Baby Name Wizard is right when she says the main problem is the lack of good nicknames. I still think it’s great—and it’s in the same boat with Uriah. Gideon McArthur; Uriah and Gideon.
If Simon was not quite right, I suggest Silas. Silas McArthur; Uriah and Silas.
Elias would work, too. Elias McArthur; Uriah and Elias.
Cedric McArthur; Uriah and Cedric.
Hugo has the U sound from Jude, and the added cool of the -o ending. Hugo McArthur; Uriah and Hugo.
Even more in the Jude direction is Cade. Cade McArthur; Uriah and Cade.
Or I like Wade. Wade McArthur; Uriah and Wade.
I also like Everett. Everett McArthur; Uriah and Everett.
Jonas. Jonas McArthur; Uriah and Jonas.
Name update! Tasha writes:
First of all- THANKS! for everyones support and suggestions! Since I wrote swistle, my sister has come around (yay) and given “permission” for me to use Jude! We are now under the debate about middle names. After reading all the suggestions, we are considering Gideon or Simon for a middle name. I had tried to get Ezra as the middle name, but didn’t like that fact that he would be Jude E. McArthur. (Judy) Besides….maybe there will be a third boy, and I would rather save Ezra for that :)
Joel!
Yeah, this is why we don’t share our name possibilities with family. That way, the kid is born and his name is announced, and TOUGH if no one likes it! hah.
Wish they could come around for Jude. Would Judah be ok or is that still too close?
Okay, I’m guessing it wouldn’t fly with your sister if you used Judah? What about Jonas? Or Jonah?
Another name that I love, but isn’t necessarily as close to Jude is Julian. Did you know that the song “Hey Jude” was written for Julian Lennon? Not many people do, so you could sneak that in there and have Julian (but secretly connected to Jude!) and your sister would probably be none the wiser!
Oh, please make sure to update when the baby is born! I really want to know what you choose in this case!
Okay, I’m guessing it wouldn’t fly with your sister if you used Judah? What about Jonas? Or Jonah?
Another name that I love, but isn’t necessarily as close to Jude is Julian. Did you know that the song “Hey Jude” was written for Julian Lennon? Not many people do, so you could sneak that in there and have Julian (but secretly connected to Jude!) and your sister would probably be none the wiser!
Oh, please make sure to update when the baby is born! I really want to know what you choose in this case!
I think the use of Jude depends on the circumstances. If your sister is only 18, then that would make a big difference, because she’s probably not going to like the name as much when she actually has a baby. Or if you told her you liked the name, and then she said, “Hey! That’s the name I like!” Well, she shouldn’t get dibs on it. If she’s an appropriate age and revealed it to you as the one and only name she had dibs on -before you ever told her you liked it- then I think you should find another name.
I’m not a fan of two kids having the same name in one family, unless it’s a family name. There are so many other names to choose from.
Sucks that your sister is being this way about Jude, I love that name, and was actually planning to go the Julian nn. Jude route down the line. (One of the few names both the husband and I agree on. UGH)…
Any how, I like Jonah for you, if the husband is agreeable. Silas is a great suggestion, as is Elias.
Also Abram, Amos, Asa, Asher, Casper or Jasper, Emmanuel, Isaac, Joshua, Levi, Lucas, Marcus, Matthias, Micah, Samuel, and Tobias might work for you.
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
I feel like I only ever comment on this blog when I think my own son’s name would work for someone else, but it’s only because I love it so very much. So I suggest Callum. Somehow I think of it as a less common version of Oliver. I mean, not a “version” of it since they are nothing alike, but it feels like they are somehow of the same style and people who discard Oliver because it’s too popular might prefer Callum.
Good luck! (Also, I am so annoyed at your sister on your behalf. And your mother too. But especially your sister.)
Isaac?
I clicked over from my reader to comment to suggest the idea of Judah, but I see I’m not the first one. I wonder if you couldn’t get away with that. Then, you could call him Jude at home, etc., and your sister/mom could call him Judah, and you wouldn’t technically be inviting her un-forgiveness. (Honestly, I think they’re being unreasonable as well, unless there’s more history to the “dibs” on Jude.)
Good luck!
I’m sorry that your sister is being so rude. Just watch…she will probably never even have a boy.
I really like Swistle’s suggestion of Gideon.
Other old-time names that might work:
Abe
Enoch
Felix
Hiram
Micah
Thaddeus
One of my other favorite bloggers has a son Ezra, with brothers Noah and Isaac. So what about Noah or Isaac?
This is such an unfair situation. I REALLY want you to find a name that is fantastic and will make your sister and mom think “Aw MAN that name is WAY BETTER than Jude!” Hopefully making your sister a little jealous, instead of smug (as I’m imagining her).
Abraham?
Caleb?
Jonathan?
Ethan?
Levi?
Malachi?
Micah?
I won’t lie– if there were a one-and-only name that I’d professed future plans of using, and then my sister decided SHE wanted to use it instead… I’d he pretty miffed. If she had a bunch of names she was “claiming” and Jude happened to be one of them, that’s a whole other story, or if she was 16 or something… but yeah, I think it’s a little bit cheeky to use a name your loved one has already obviously fallen in love with and wants to use. Sure, she may never have kids, or a boy, or her future husband could hate Jude, but it’s the principle of the thing. I certainly don’t condone being a brat about it, but I WOULD be hurt.
Anyway, my first thought was Malachi. I also like Gideon!
I’ve always liked the name Gideon too, and it has made me think of a whole slew of names (most of which have alreday been suggested):
Noah
Gabriel
Isaac
Adam
Ruben (really like this one!)
Nathaniel
Benjamin
Joseph
Max
Julius
I agree with most of the other posters – your sister (and mother) are being unfair. But as there’s not much you can do, the only solution I can see is to find an even better name (preferably one that your sister likes even better than Jude!)!
Good luck!
I was going to suggest Julian as well – so ditto what JCF said above!
Also: Levi, Jonah, or Elijah. I also know a family that has a little boy named Immanuel (they call him Manny) and I think that is so nice sounding with Uriah.
I like many of the suggestions you’ve gotten – they seem to have the same “gentle strength” that I think characterizes Jude.
I’m also seething with unfairness on your behalf. The spouse and I hoard our namelist, but since we like talking about names we have had conversations with much younger siblings where they indicated, “I am going to name my future children X and Y!” However, had that been a name on our otherwise secret list, I would have broken the vow of silence and disclosed, “Oh, that’s so funny, you have great taste because Y was what we were planning on naming this baby!”
This is obviously hypothetical because it has not happened, but I think such a conversation would have probably gone either the route of A) how fun, it can be a special cousin bond to have Y be a part of both of their names, like “I’m named after my cool older cousin”, and I’m sure that a nicknamey family can come up with nicknames to keep them apart or B) the younger sib recognizing that the likelihood of them actually having a child named Y is much lesser because they are still many years away from reproducing and have not met the person they might be coparenting with who will surely have opinions about their child’s naming as well.
So, I don’t think you should have to change your name at all, because names are not one-time limited-use commodities, AND if your younger sister never has a boy named Jude (which could happen for many reasons, like not having a boy or having a significant other who vetoed the name or even her tastes changing in the span of time between now and her having a child) you might be very resentful about the fact that you gave up the name you loved for what later turned out to be no actual cause. Also, any pain-in-the-butt factor of having two Judes in the same family is significantly mitigated by the fact that it’s quite likely that your child and your sister’s hypothetical child would not have the same surname.
But, I do think that the drama this is likely to cause, ESPECIALLY in light of the fact that this battle has been picked up by other family members as well, might make it ill-advised to use the name Jude at this point.
Have you tried talking to your sister about whether she would find it to be an agreeable compromise if you named your son Otherfirstname Jude or Julian with a potential nickname of Jude or Judah or Judas?
I hope you can find from the toher excellent suggestions a name that you feel really excited about using, that your sister and mother can also deal with, and I’m so sorry you’re in this dilemma.
Oh I love Gideon with Uriah!
I think you have lots of good suggestions here. I will point you to a website of a winery that is my all-time FAVORITE: spring Valley Vineyards (http://www.springvalleyvineyard.com/)
They name all their wines after family members going back many generations. One of their best wines is called…Uriah!! Anyway, I thought it might be a good source of inspiration. Good luck!
I love your naming style! It’s kind “exotic traditional.” :) Ezra AND Jude are in my top 5, so here are a few of my other favorites:
Aidric- Has a fresh and modern feel, but also has some history behind it. It is in fact an Old English saint name that means “Blessed ruler.” I really can see this on a cute little boy and a handsome man.
I also really like Matthias with Uriah. How about Lucien? Asher? Gabriel? Rowan?
The other suggestions that have been mentioned that I LOVE are Gideon (*clap clap*), Nathaniel and Judah. :)
Well… I agree with a lot of posters above about the name Judah. It would be pretty much the ideal name. You still get to call your son Jude without totally irritating the relatives (unreasonable relatives) while allowing them to save face by being able to call him by his full name.
BUT if didn’t want to even go there with this fiasco, I would agree that Ruben is an excellent choice. I have no idea if your first son has a nickname or not, but if his nickname is Ry, Rube and Ry are a cool sib set. The nickname of Rube also has a similar feel as Jude. (Perhaps similar enough that your sister wouldn’t want to use Jude because it would seem too ‘matchy’).
And a fresh name to consider: Nicodemus. Ry and Nico are rather stylish brothers to me.
Really curious to hear how everything turns out with your new son. All the best to you and your growing family!
I knew someone who chose the name Andrew for her newborn son and announced it in the hospital after his birth. Later that day, her husband called her and said “We have a problem.” Seems the sister-in-law announced that was the name SHE had picked for a possible future son, and she threatened a major scene unless they changed to a different name. This after the name was already given, and nothing said before this. They changed the name. The sister-in-law later had a son and named him William. True story.
As Swistle says, upsetting and unfair. I’m not sure what I would do if I were you.
I do think “Judah” is a GOOD option, but only if you love it. Personally, I think it’s even better with Uriah than Jude, and with a great meaning.
I think if your sister announced dibs on Judah as well as Jude, even your mom would agree it’s time to just say no to sister’s demands.
First off, I don’t think you should give up on Ezra. I’ve been reading this blog long enough to know that husbands almost always come around! I want to suggest a couple of names though. I think Evander would be awesome with Uriah. It means “good man.” I’ll also add Cain and Gage. So don’t give up on Ezra but I think I like Evander even better. Kind of a cross between Ezra and Oliver. Uriah and Evander, love it!
@Susan, “The sister-in-law later had a son and named him William. True story.” O.M.G.
So I guess, maybe the OP should make the sister put it in writing that she will name any future son Jude.
Use Jude or Judah. Your sister is being a b****. Let her be mad it is her issue not yours. She us not even pregnant and may never have a boy. Other names I like for you are Jonah, Cohen, Josiah, Joshua, Eli/Elias and I too adore Ezra. Best of luck to you and I really hope you use Jude.
Perhaps instead of Ezra, your husband might like Enzo better?
Nothing yanks my chains more than family members who are potentially many years away from having children claiming dibs on names! And this is coming from someone who is somewhat possessive of her children’s names born, and gets a little pain when she sees her daughter’s name climb the popularity charts. Yeah, I know the earth still turns, and life goes on… where was I?
Claiming dibs on names… right. Personally I think it is nothing more than a control issue. For some reason other family members feel they have some say in YOUR baby’s name.
I just said all of that to commiserate, but now we must move on; Swistle’s right.
There are so many awesome suggestions here. I really have nothing to add, but the ones that really stand out to me are:
Ruben / Rube – how clever
Emmanuel (or Immanuel, but I personally like the E spelling better and that spelling loosely connects the name to Ezra) / Manny
Thaddeus / Tad
Gideon (I don’t think it needs a nickname)
And once you and your husband come up with another name you both like, whatever you do: DO NOT share it with any other family members. Just tell family that you are undecided and probably won’t decide until the baby is born. The standard, “We want to keep the baby’s name a surprise.” can’t be used because you already shared some names with them. Let them shake in their boots, fearful that you will “steal your sister’s name.” They sort of deserve it.
I want to say that I would let it go if I were in your shoes, but I probably wouldn’t. I’d probably still use Jude and hope that the beautiful baby in their arms would make it a non-issue. But then maybe I’m just stubborn! I know that, with my husband, I’m going to be compromising a lot on names in the next couple of years. So even if I had ever told someone I had “dibs” on a name, I wouldn’t be able to follow through anyway. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that your family realizes how immature and unreasonable they are being before the baby is born.
In terms of other names, I like other posters’ suggestions of Julian/Julius because you could call him Jules, which has a similar feel to me. I’m also watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the first time, and this discussion makes me think of Giles/Jiles.
You have gotten some great suggestions! If you are settled on finding something other than Jude, I would echo the previous posters with these two suggestions –
Aidric (Aidric McArthur. Uriah and Aidric)
Jonah (Jonah McArthur. Uriah and Jonah)
I also like …
York
Luke
Theodore
Leo
GL!
Where did my comment go?
I suggest Zeth. Like Seth with a Z.
Swistle and others have come up with AMAZING suggestions for you as alternates to Jude. Maybe one of those will be the perfect name for your baby. But if it gets down to the wire and you still feel that Jude is the name you love, and is this baby’s name, then name your son Jude.
Your sister is being beyond unreasonable, and the reason I say this is that you said she would never forgive you, would call the baby an alternate name, and there would be a “family feud.” I can’t comprehend the oddness that your mom would be on her side. There must be more to the family dynamics than just a simple name issue.
You have no obligation to let anyone else but your husband be involved in the process of naming. What if you hadn’t mentioned your choices beforehand to your sister? Would she still refuse to forgive you and call the baby something else? I think not.
Just say, Hey sis, I know this may be hard for you but we really felt that the baby’s name was Jude, so that’s what we named him. We will be happy to welcome your little Jude if you should ever have one.